Transcript Excerpt 9: Reporting from the Trenches
Preface: The following is a transcript of BBR's radio broadcast from the ground operation to secure the third relic. Due to the circumstances regarding the battle's conclusion, as well as the unique position of a one Boz the Buzzard's role in the events this excerpt is different than others. Boz's duties as host of the radio program were overtaken by an Unggoy assistant, known as Zapap. As a result, the usual format for how this excerpt is transcribed has been shifted. Non-italicised text is Zapap's commentary, call-in voices, including Boz himself, are italicised.
Supplemental: The culmination of the battle is highlighted by an anomalous event of xenological origins. Boz's transmission from within the anomaly is currently the only and best firsthand account of the effects of said event as they were occurring. As a result, this excerpt is being given considerable importance and will be filed away for further study upon full submission to ONI Superiors. Considerable redactions will be made prior for security purposes.
This is Buzzard Buccaneer Radio, reminding you to keep cannons firing until the other guy stops moving. Rip'em to shreds, boys!
[Burn the Sky - Floatsam and Jetsam]
Hello agains, Zapap once more here. Filling for Boz who is below on planet fighting many bad birds. I glad not to be there. Hope he live, he did promise extra sandwich when he get back. No want to miss that. We still holding in space, keeping more bad birdies from attacking everyone below. So far they scared, hope we keep it that way. Oh, we get transmission from Boz! Me push button and take listen!
Holy fuck, this was the biggest mistake of my life! It's fucking chaos down here! (Sound of plasma bolt whizzing by) Fuck! I should be more used to getting shot at dear listeners, but I've been holed up in my studio for so long I've kinda forgot how absolutely terrifying this is! Especially when all you have is a dinky plasma pistol that is almost down to half charge already! Never leave your needler, people! I regret everything right now!
Boz, you doing okay? Not dead yet at least. That good, right?
Oh Zappy, your optimism is sorely needed right now. I am reporting to you all live from the battlefield, accompanied by my bodyguard, friend, all around wonderful pirate and personal savior, Keth, our premier sniper supreme! Say hello to everyone, Keth!
(Muffled exchange of "Get the fuck off that thing! This is no time for your fucking commentary, chum for brains!" followed by an explosion in the background.)
Keth is just pissed off because we are deep in the mud of this fight. Snarlbeak's people have rolled out the tanks and they are closing fast. We are holding our own, but we've just watched a ton of the bastards blow themselves up in the atmosphere. Moments later, drop pods are scattering all over the jungle in front of us. Can you believe that? They killed their own ships, just to get more boots on the ground to try and murder us! What does that tell you everyone? Old Scratch is desperate for his little treasure and is super worried we're about to snatch it from under him! Snarly is gonna cost himself big time before this is over!
(Several plasma bolts are heard slamming into what sounds like dirt, as Needler Rifle rounds fire back in response, likely from Keth.)
Be that as it may, I am not going to sugar coat this because I believe in honesty. I am seriously concerned about how is panning out so far. We are holding but they are gaining ground. We're not sure how much longer we'll be able to maintain the trenches. We may indeed be pulling back to the defensive walls soon. But, as our Marines friends would say, we'll make him pay for every inch they take. I mean, Snarlbeak can't be that rich, right? This is definitely gonna cost him like... a shitload of creds. Keth has probably lost him a ton in manpower alone, ain't that right, Keth? How many have you downed so far, good buddy?
("I am working, Boz! This is not the fucking time!")
This is how I deal with stress, Keth! This is my goddamn solace and serenity in a world that is currently trying to blow my head off! Humor me for at least a few seconds!
("I've killed like sixteen or so, that's where I stopped counting! Now could you please help me suppress them already! We're gonna need to move soon!")
Okay, fine. Signing off for now dear listeners. Zapap, keep playing tunes. The rock stops for nothing! Not even war! Eat plasma you wretched sons of bitches! (Several needles and bolts strike the position as Boz yelps in fright) I'm okay! I'm fine! But I landed beak first in the mud just now! Ocean's depth this sucks balls!
Well Boz sound like he having... fun? Me no know. Me not like war fighting. Hope other Unggoy okay. Should ask Boz if... uh, when he calls back. Yes, when, not if. Boz be okay. Me know it! Uh, anyway, Boz say continue rock. So... I do that! Here next song!
[Lamb of God - Hyperthermic/Accelerate]
Where be human fizz water? Boz say he have some... oh! Music gone! Uh... me not stealing nothing from Boz! Ha ha, yes, me joking round. He he, that me! Zapap, such a jokey joke. Me not need fizzy water anyway, because me get plenty of leftover sandwiches as long as me keep playing music on the radio. Here another song, it be very fun for all, me think. (Muffling of microphone, possibly from a hand) *This job stink, always get crusts, no sleep, he keep changing playlist program. Why me say yes to this? *
[Five Fingered Death Punch - War is the Answer]
When the the cannons are blazing and swords clash, you can count on BBR to bring the rock! Remember, take what you can, give nothing back! It's the pirate way, the only way! Buzzard Buccaneer Radio, your homefront for Rock!
[Powerwolf - Iron & Incense]
I not understand loud screaming music, but Zapap do feel powerful when listening. Hope it helping down there. Hope it helping other Unggoy find courage they need. Stay safe, other Unggoy, don't let the bad bird-men take you down. We promised big feast we get through this. Don't want miss that. Oh, uh, me have news from above. Remaining ships of enemy not advancing. Other ships arriving, but staying out of range of big laser gun thing. They not want to risk selves at time. So, no worries, enemy not sending more reinforcements in crazy suicide run again. So... uh, hold out I guess. More news on space battle now from, uh, Ex-Oh of Normandy, Miri Anda Laws On! Me get that right?
Ugh, why did I agree to this? Whatever, this is Miranda Lawson, acting commanding officer of the Normandy. We are currently about to engage a smaller influx of transport craft attempting to circumvent the defensive laser's range. If you can hear this, know that the fleet has not abandoned you, even if you cannot see us. We are doing all we can to prevent the hostile pirate forces from making landfall. We are now closing on an enemy transport. Joker, you are weapons free, fire when you have lock!
(The Sound of the Normandy's main weapon can be heard discharging at this point)
Target destroyed, direct hit. Another squad of Snarlbeak's men will not be reporting groundside. We will continue this process until we run out of viable targets or are spent. So if a certain jackal is listening to this, be forewarned. However small we are, the Normandy is a force to be reckoned with and so is its crew. You battle with us at your leisure, Snarlbeak and you will fail as others greater than you have done so. Executive Officer Miranda Lawson, over and out.
Me like her, she way more inspiring than sangheili who used to boss Zapap around. He just tell us to kill what he pointed at. If we failed he stomped on our heads. It not fun, me tell you. Dying also not fun. Everyone... try not to die... yes, that would be good. Me not good with speeches. Here music!
[Not Ready to Die - Avenged Sevenfold]
Any wave will break against the Rock! You're listening to Buzzard Buccaneer Radio! Hold Fast against the Hurricane! Let the music guide you through! Here's another hit just for you!
[Shield Wall - Amon Amarth]
So much screaming, I not realize humans can scream so loud and it be called singing. Weird it sound like it does. Zapap can hear harmony. At least when me CAN hear it. Boz have volume very loud. Oh look, we get call. Wonder who this is. Hello, you on Buzzard show.
Yeah this is Corporal Locklear, I'm in the middle of trying to fight off these damn pirates and everything but I gotta ask... why'd Boz pick you to do this substitute host gig? Wouldn't he just get another one of the Jackals to do it?
Boz say me less likely to take over show because Zapap not have strong musical opinion and not good with words like him. Also, me work for extra rations unlike other kig-yar who he have to pay. And when Boz found out name, he thought it sound cool enough to work on radio.
Oh, so you're cheap, not ambitious and marketable but with less charisma then.
Hey, that what Boz say to me! All same words, mostly. How things down there? Not dead yet?
Uh, no, doing okay so far. Just taking pot shots at them now. I'm seeing a lot of hostiles moving up fast and a few vehicles are coming out of the trees too. It's not exactly looking like it's gonna be an easy win.
Me believe in you!
You do?
Yes, you humans kill lots of Covenant, even when it likely you all die. So... yeah, you can win. You win plenty times before. And no Sangheili here to even order these kig-yar around. Jerk Birds won't stand chance.
Uh, thanks, I guess.
Zapap here to help. Me play more human music. Boz suggest this as tribute to you Marines. Give them big fight, Corporal Locklear!
[Devil Dogs - Sabaton]
Oh those humans have nice clean voices, me like them. Does Boz have more of them? Me check. Hey, he does... me play more of them! Here more of, uh, Sab At On. Yes, that sound right.
[Resist And Bite - Sabaton]
Heh, me get hang of doing this... oh, another call.
Zap, you mind NOT just playing whatever springs to mind. This is still my show.
Sorry, Boz, me just thought singers were nice. I still doing good? Me not lose sandwich?
No, no... yeah, look, I guess I'm just trying not to lose my head out here. You'll be happy to know we're holding fast but we got a lot of enemies swarming into our trenches one after the other. It's getting hard to hold them back and... oh crap! Down!
(Plasma Bomb is heard nearby)
We got Banshees! Banshees! Shit, where's my pistol! Back to you, Zap!
Yikes, bad guys really want that relic. They sending everything. We keep trying to get reports from Boz. For now, me play more music. All me can do I guess.
[Immortalized - Disturbed]
For the Pirate in all of us that refuses to lay down and die, this is your station. This is Buzzard Buccaneer Radio!
[No Easy Way Out - Beast in Black]
Zapap here with station break, banshees are down. Enemy tanks are in zone. Engaging with our heavy armor. Moving back to better defensive position. Oh no, sounds rough. But... uh, message from Admiral Whitcomb. Prepared to send additional air support for close range fire if need be. Will not leave... uh... ground forces to die. So, push come to shove, we have flyers of our own. Ha! Snarlbeak not so smart. We can win! Me try and contact Boz, see where he is. Here more music until then.
[The Great War - Sabaton]
We back and me with Boz! He okay!
Hey, Zap, yeah me and Keth, we're good. We had to pull back, we're inside the walls at the moment. I can see a number of enemy tanks pushing up to our position. Excuse me if I don't have perfect line of sight, there are... well, a TON of marksmen out there and I'm a pretty big target. Okay, not too long ago, we just watched one of the Mechs we have smash clean through some of the enemy tanks. They're really giving it their all out there, no mercy for Snarly's boys that's for sure. Oh shit, I think one just punched that tank to death. That is badass. Why don't we have mechs like that?
I think Covenant do have some, but not for kig-yar. Only for sangheili.
Hmph, typical. Anyway, Zappy, you'll be happy to know that your fellow unggoy really surprised me today. Like, super surprised me.
They did?
Yeah, we were on the field not too long ago and they actually managed to help us out some. Gave us cover and everything. It was awesome of them. I've never seen unggoy so brave before. I mean they even did something similar last night! You guys are really showing some intiative lately.
Maybe you kig-yar just not notice before. Unggoy are tough when we can be.
Well, I guess if you were gonna grow a backbone, now is as good a time as any. Can't say I'm not grateful. They really pulled it together. They were shooting at the enemy, being decent shots at times too. And funny thing is, the Spartans were the ones who gave them the guns for it.
Spartans? The big scary humans?
The very same. Let me tell you, the stories about those guys... totally accurate. Man, no wonder they were kicking our asses so hard in fights. Seriously, Zap, whoever tries to fight those guys is an idiot. They're like an oiled machine, dude. So set on fucking up the bad guys in their way it's crazy. I don't know what the hell it is, but it was kinda inspiring. I guess when you got a big enough badass backing you up, a living tank as it were, you kinda feel pretty confident in yourself. Oh, speaking of tanks backing us up... we've rolled out the big one! And it's firing!
(Main Gun blast from Grizzly Battle Tank, followed by an explosion)
Holy shit! That Wraith went up like a stack of plasma torches! We just might win this fucker yet, Zap!
(Needle shots strike nearby)
Shit, zeroed in, we're moving to a more secure position. Keep playing the rock, Zap! We got this folks! We got this by the ass!
Me not know what that means, but hope its good. You hear that from before, right? My people doing okay out there! Unggoy are stronger than they looks! This one goes out to them, make it home alive all of you!
[The Longest Day - Iron Maiden]
Update to defenders, some of enemy birds inside wall at this time. Relaying request from the NOT enemy birds to mind shots. Zek's people not wearing darker uniforms, they have more customised armor and, uh... do not look like tools. That what message say, me just repeat it. Just no shooting any kig-yar who aren't dressed in black. That should cover most. Maybe we should have them put something on suits to make easier to spot as friends. Me think sticker, with smiley face or something. That work good, I thinks. Also update from fight in sky, enemy ships still in holding pattern, small skirmishes with enemy fighters though. Normandy picking them off best she can to stop them from possibly taking out big guns on the carrier. So far, it working. Me try to contact Boz again for you, but not easy at moment. Lots of chattering voices right now. Here another song while me try harder.
[Inside the Wire - Bolt Thrower]
We just get transmission from Boz! Take listen!
Ok, if anyone can hear me, please, please, PLEASE! Send some air support or something! This isn't looking as good as I thought it was! The Grizzly is down! Then Zhoc's fucking lunatic tankers rammed the damn front gate! Now we got the bastards pouring in from everywhere and we are seriously up against the wall!
(Momentary pause as Boz fires over what we presume is his cover)
This is going south on us folks, but I'm not gonna stop transmitting! I'm going to keep the rock alive as long as possible! I swear it! Although I really would appreciate not dying, that's all I'm saying! I'm with Keth and some Marines now, holding out in one of the shacks here! We trying to hold them here and prevent them from getting to the command bunker, but we seriously need some help! If you could... what? Oh, okay, uh the Marine next to me just said to relay this message to command if they can hear us! The transmission is all messed up right now so radios are having a tough time getting through all the chatter. If command is listening, enemy is inside the wire, broken arrow, I say again, broken arrow! What does that mean? ... Close range fire support? Like on top of us? ... Okay, that's horrifying, but at this point I'm not exactly going to complain.
(Distant explosion)
I should've also mentioned what's left of their tanks are shelling us. It's seriously becoming a nuisance. The enemy keeps pouring through gaps, climbing over the wall, seriously how many birds does Snarls have on fucking payroll? Oh good, one of the Marine squads just moved up with a Machine Gun next to our position.
(Chattering of Machine Gun can be heard.)
HA! They're ripping into the incoming enemy! But we could still really use some fire support like, right now! Send the Normandy or some Seraphs, whatever the fuck you got because-
(A voice we assume is Keth's shouts "The fuck is that?" as strange background sound gets louder)
What is what? Something behind- Holy shit what is that? It's just expanding out from the- Look ou-
(Static as transmission is lost)
Boz? Boz, hello? Boz you there? BOZ! Uh oh. Me hope he okay. Me still not get today's sandwich. Uh, Zapap try to figure out what just happen. Be back as soon as possible with update. Here... here music till I reach someone. Uh... here! Play anything!
[Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order]
We now have news from surface! Contact established with Captain McKay at battle site! We have her transmission online now! Listen to this, it crazy!
This is ODST Captain McKay speaking. We made contact with remainder of enemy force outside the holding perimeter. The mop up was easy enough, but that is not the issue. The Forerunner facility and surrounding structures have been engulfed in what appears to be some kind of... well, energy dome. It's the best way I can describe it. There is no break in the dome and I can barely make out anything inside. This is... strange, even for us at this point. I have tried to raise the Marines inside on multiple channels, I have gotten no response. I do not exactly know what has occurred here, but I'd hazard a guess the relic has somehow been activated. I honestly don't know what else it could be at this point.
Moments ago, Spartan-058 took a team inside the dome to try and find out what happened to the people inside. There was little resistance to their entry, but we have lost contact with them as well. Me and my men have taken positions just outside the dome, both in anticipation of anything stepping out of it as well as continuing our attempts to contact those inside. At this point I cannot confirm status on anyone within the anomaly. I can't see anyone moving, it's like a very thick fog on this side. I'm only able to make out a few structures. It could have something to do with the outer defensive wall, but we're standing where I believe the gate was. I can't see anything through there either, save for, again, a few structure outlines. If we could get an aerial visual, that would be helpful in at least figuring out how big this thing is. But I'm wagering it covers the entire facility. Perhaps even some means of boosting our communication equipment as contacting 058 or anyone within the dome is of high priority at this point.
So... we no know if anyone dead?
Um, no, we do not. Sorry, Zapap. Have you attempted to recontact Boz? He had that transmitter on his back after all. It looked heavy duty stuff.
Me trying that, but me just get static and garbled stuff. It make no sense.
Zapap, you have a direct line to Boz and, likely, our best bet at contacting anyone in this dome. Is there anything you can do to clean up the signal to reach him?
Me keep trying. Boz's station very high tech. Backpack trans-reciever can send out transmissions too. If I can't contact, maybe can find emergency broadcast from him. Me try to see if it floating around someplace. Will take time to readjust everything. Have to remember what Boz taught me about system.
Is there like a manual you could refer to?
No, system very custom. Boz built most of rig himself from base broadcast center. Lots of electronics, he want to be powerful beacon transmitter. He also put scramblers into it. Didn't want enemy picking up and following signal. Boz forward thinking like that. Not enough to write down what he did though. Me thinks it job security. He not want someone else figuring out set up. He only let me do this because he think I not ask questions about it.
Well if you're gonna help him, it sounds like you're gonna have to figure out some of it, Zapap. Anything we can do to help?
You closer to Boz than me right now. Me try to run broadcast sweep through your gear. Like proxy me think it called. Boost signal strength. We scan together, we might pick up Boz.
Worth a try. We'll see what we can do. Maybe the Normandy can help us out too.
Will contact nice lady from Normandy for help. Meantime, uh, Boz left pre-recorded tape from Zek about vid he watch. Should Zapap play?
Well, I don't see why not. Hell, maybe someone in there will hear it and they'll latch onto the signal or something. Either way, it's not like it's gonna hurt.
Okay, show go on then! Here is Shipmaster Zek reviewing some vid about... uh, Troopers from Starship... hmm, me not get it. Aren't most troopers from starships? Where else they come from?
So for no particular reason I decided to watch something that, apparently, the UNSC doesn't want me to. Then again, I don't really listen to them when I don't have to so, what are they gonna do, right? I'm not one of their citizens. This vid is called, "Starship Troopers" and it didn't take long for me to find out why I'm not allowed to watch it. Man, does this thing make them look bad. Hell, it was made before they were established and it still makes them look bad. What do you call something like that? A foreshadowed burn? A historical takedown? I don't know, I just find it funny is all.
Hey, no offense to you Marines out there. I'm just calling this vid how I see it and I think we can all appreciate some of the harsh lessons of this vid's themes right now. Not that it matters, since you can't watch it anyway. Funny how that is? You can't watch this vid but I can. Because I ain't human. Here I thought you were defenders of freedom or whatever. Oh well, it ain't your fault, it's your government's.
So here's the deal with Starship Troopers, Earth is at war with a bunch of bug aliens. Or at least they're openly hostile to each other. Earth is run by this Federation that is militaristic. You can only vote if you're a citizen and for this place that means you have to be in the military. No other options, you either join up or you never have a say. They're openly hostile to democracy, they believe force is the only means of solving any problem. Fuck, these humans remind me more of the sangheili than the humans I know. That's one point in your favor, Marines, you're nothing like that warrior cult of asshats. Anyway, this Federation is all about the violence and brutality to insane degrees. Getting your blood and guts spilled on the battlefield is the highest honor to them. Which is good for them I guess since a lot of them end up getting murdered by the bug they're fighting over the course of this movie.
Oh yeah, the bugs, the movie calls them Arachnids. They're these big spiderly ant things with massive jaws. Holy shit are these bugs huge. You know, I'm not even sure they eat the humans they kill in this movie, I think they just like snapping them in half. To each their own I suppose. They're not hard to kill it seems, but there are like billions of them all over the place at any one time. So they're hard to fight.
We follow the adventures of one dipstick human, Rico, who is trying to get into the military basically to get laid. Like his girlfriend is joining up and he wants to get to fuck her later. Eh, I've seen worse reasons to join an army outfit. I heard a few kig-yar joined the Covenant military service because they liked the shiny armor. Bunch of morons. Rico at least has his priorities straight about getting it on. At least he does at first, somehow the dumbshit starts to actually CARE about the fucking service. Like he's gonna make a fucking difference or some shit. Probably because his girlfriend dumped him cause long range relationships are hard. So you gotta justify staying with your stupid commitment somehow, right? Otherwise people are just gonna laugh at you for quitting and rub it in your face forever like a chump. And then of course his parents get squashed by a meteor and that sets him up on a new path, revenge. I don't know why, he didn't seem to really like his parents, but they were his blood so... I guess revenge is as good as any reason to stick with the army.
The meteor is supposedly fired by the bugs, I... don't know why or how. I think the story behind that whole thing is sketchy. Far as I can tell, the humans encroached on the bugs' territory first. And they're also like capturing members of their species and ripping them up in science classes. I feel like this is you asking for it, humans, assuming the bugs even did fire the giant rock at you. I mean, they got the giant bomb bugs that blast plasma out their asses, I suppose that could send a meteor hurtling towards a planet but... well I just don't see that being completely on purpose or even... plausible. And given how these humans seemed hellbent on colonizing the bug worlds, it's not much of a stretch in my mind to think that this whole fucking thing is actually a lie. Like, they were just looking for some kind of fucking excuse to set off a war and go into a bloodrage over something.
More credit to you Marines, your government got hit first and, let's be honest, I've never really heard a good reason as to why the Covenant wants you all dead. Take that with a grain of salt though, I don't believe in any of that religious dogma the Prophets spouted. So really, I'm the last person you'd want to try and figure out the mess of bullshit the fuckers used to run our lives.
More to the point though, I think a lot of these doubts I have about the human cause in this vid is deliberate honestly. There's a ton of these little commercial breaks or something between acts in the film. They're all about how the Federation is super duper awesome and great, but it's very blatantly tongue in cheek snide remarks about how actually this society is super fucking shitty. Yeah, trust me, I saw and made more than a few of these jokes about the Covenant back when I was stuck in it. Especially the one about televised executions after like pre-decided trials. We made that one almost daily to be frank. Point is, the vid is clearly telling you that this human society sucks. Like, super sucks. It is full of the worst kind of people and they're only the good guys cause the bugs are out to kill everyone indiscriminately.
Also, a lot of these military tactics and strategies seem to be presented as largely inept or senseless, brutal... nothing like you Marines mind you. You're pretty professional and not acting like a bunch of big cocks of the walk with ridiculous oversized guns and senseless full blown charges into open fields. I mean, you actually use cover and you don't bunch up, so hey, you don't look like idiots! Good for you.
Like I said, I think the point of the vid is to basically rip this sorta hyper-militaristic fantasy apart. I mean, I've watched a few of the older human war films at this point for a laugh, and yeah, this is the vid that basically wants to take the piss out of them. Does a pretty good job. I'm pretty sure the intention of the film is apparent when a guy says, without a trace of sarcasm in his voice, that the Mobile Infantry made him the man he is today... and then you see he's like missing both legs. So... yeah, that's on the fucking nose with a big ass hammer. I don't think I can even make a joke there, that's literally what happens.
You know what thing reminds me of? Some of the propaganda holos we saw back in the Covenant. They never showed humans in those of course, they can't, but you always saw like shadows or whatever in the background that represented them. There was always some sangheili or whatever who doubted the mission or their place in it... then they like saw a vision of a Forerunner or whatever, made them realise they had a sacred duty to slaughter an entire race or some shit. Trust me, they fucking sucked. Badly acted, melodramatic garbage that always said nothing.
Starship Troopers is like that, but like I said, it's deliberate about it. The vid is basically taking all these myths about military service and strength and righteous duties and causes and basically shoving them down a toilet to reveal what it all really is. A bunch of bullshit lies we tell ourselves to make the ugliness of war seem like a worthwhile endeavor. That there's some goddamn purpose behind running off to murder and colonize worlds for a bunch of skinflint fucks who won't be doing the dying for it all. Just hate this enemy, who we've othered into abominations, kill them all and never ask questions. We'll tell who to hate and how to kill and that will make you a better citizen of our little fucking civilization of meatheaded murdering fucksticks.
Sorry, I guess I just... maybe... projected a lot of my own personal distaste of the Covenant onto the Federation of this vid. But that's what I like about it. A vid that isn't afraid to take the piss out of that sort of sangheili bullshit ideology... while still being a pretty kickass action picture at the same time. Like seriously, this shit gets fucking awesome hard and fast! There's this whole big battle scene where the bugs are charging this little outpost and Rico and his fellow soldiers gotta hold the line, it's fucking cool guys! Like bug bodies are stacking up everywhere, people are getting sliced and diced, set on fucking fire, it's fucking awesome!
Although there's this one scene I feel is maybe a bit too cheesy for it's own good. There's this best friend of Rico's, a girl named Dizzy who clearly wants to jump his bones. He's been ignoring her forever cause he's still trying to get back with his other hot girlfriend, Carmen. Finally he just settles for fucking Dizzy because, whatever, any port in a storm at this point, right? Then she fucking dies in the next battle, the same one I talked about, but she's okay with it cause at least she got to have him. HA! What a load of shit. I'm sure that is just more of the movie taking the piss out of that sort of storyline, but trust me, no kig-yar female would ever say that. I'd hope no human women would either, just being satisfied they got to bone their crush. Like, you have more ambitions than just that, right? You have to.
I think it's a bit sad that humanity's current government has blacklisted this movie. I can understand why, but personally I felt it was much harsher to a system like the Covenant. I mean, don't get me wrong, I could point out the similarities between the UNSC and this Federation all day if I tried. It ain't just the uniforms, it's the Oorah, come get some shit that oozes out of all the orifices. But I lived under the Covenant system of bullshit, so I guess I just see them more often in these characters than any human systems of government. You people could really learn a lot from this movie on what you SHOULDN'T be rather than what you're afraid it might say about what you are.
I mean, fine, the vid says your type of military run government is full of sadistic monsters who view all life as cheap expendable cannon fodder who's only goal is to feed the grinder, but there's more to it than that. It says these are places and things you should avoid, pitfalls you can watch out for. And shouldn't you? If anything, learning lessons from this vid will keep you from turning into another Covenant I say. Don't let Dogma, religious or otherwise, dictate how to run your life. Make your own decisions, I say.
End of the day, Starship Troopers is a good vid. Hopefully the UNSC will take it off the blacklist once this war is over. I mean, if they're not at all like the Federation, they'd stop running the whole fucking government as soon as the crisis is over and let the civilians be in charge again. Right? That is the plan, isn't it? That's what you're all fighting for last I heard.
Ah well, it's not for me to wonder the reasons why, so to speak. But let's just hope we're in for more doing rather than dying when the fighting comes our way. Take care, Marines of the UNSC. With any luck, you'll prove my doubts wrong. We'll see.
That was another of Zek's reviews. We still working on signal. If anyone inside dome hear this, please contact us or Captain McKay. We trying on our end, signal still spotty. Lots of static, interference. Not sure if dome's energy blocking us or something, but we keep trying to break through it. We promise. We won't leave you behind. Here more music.
[Ruby Tuesday - Rolling Stones]
Keep your dial locked to BBR for the best tunes and latest updates. We won't leave you hanging in the wind.
[Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams]
Ok, Zapap back now! We may have something. I notice there is still a transmission coming through. It go in and out, but Normandy has close scan on dome now. Me trying to lock onto it... now!
(Static transmission kerfuffles and bleets for a few moments, before an inaudible voice is becomes clear.)
-an you listen to this for a bit? [Inaudible] I have something.
(Percussion instrument is heard, in background is instrumental rock music of, at present, undetermined source. Voice is garbled and hard to transcribe)
That's the beat bu- ... [inaudible] I'm going to work more on tha- ... ust want it to sound g- ...anks to you! You beli- ... [inaudible]
Is that Boz? That sound like Boz. Me try to clean it up more.
(Attempts by Zapap to clean up transmission improve quality of transmission enough to lower static, but interrupts still present)
I need you to clean up that bridge section and stick with the beat. We're going to face some stiff- ... I'm not worried, I just want us to be at our best. We can't get overconfident when everyone else is pouring their hearts out into their own performan- ... elieve in you guys, just believe in yourselves more. It's like my mom always says, the biggest obstacle to anything is yoursel-...
Yeah, that is Boz! Boz! Boz can you hear me, Boz! It Zapap! Boz!
I struggling with this last chorus beat, what do yo- ... didn't see that before! That could work! Thanks, m- ... ever I do, I promise to make you proud.
Who he talking to? He not talking to me. Someone with him? Boz, who is with you? Can you tell us what is inside there? What is happening?
My costume is going to look so cool on stage for- ... a pirate ship? Wow, that sounds like an adventure. They need someone who knows some good tunes for long- ... lo, Vexar Bay! We're Boz and the Buzzjarks and we're gonna blow this town apart! Hit it!
(Loud percussion music and alien guitars start playing loudly, nearly blowing out speakers)
Ah! What the heck!? Damn, lost signal. Captain McKay, McKay did you get that?
And then some, what the hell is going on in there? Who was he talking to?
I not know, but it sound like maybe he in trance or something. He not hear me, he only hear something else. Did you track position?
I attempted to, but the interference was crazy. We think he's deep into the dome's field from the look of things. I can't say for sure, but given where he was last time it seems like he's walked deeper into the enclosed perimeter.
Weird, so given that and what he saying... he might not know he's trapped?
Doesn't sound like it, and if that's how it is for him, imagine what everyone else is going through in there. Although I admit, he doesn't seem like he's in distress.
Still got to help him. Me lost signal, but I keep trying to play music and get his attention. If not him, maybe someone inside dome hear him.
Assuming anyone can hear him. If he's off in his own little world right now, chances are the others are too. Which means they might not be able to hear any of our transmissions, even if they are getting through.
No worry so much, Captain. What important is Boz alive, which mean others might be alive too. So if he walking around someone hear him, so long as music is loud. If we hear him, then pack still work. Remember, it also receive. So others will hear music even if he not hear.
Best make it loud, Zap. It's a pretty big dome after all. We'll keep trying to connect to Boz's signal from our end. If we can't talk to him, maybe we can at least talk to someone near him. And you're right, at least it sounds like whatever happened in there it isn't fatal.
We figure this out, McKay, promise. Okay me still not know what happened, but it pretty clear Boz is alive. He talking to someone else, but he alive. Which mean that others down on planet also likely not dead and me not miss out on sandwich later. Okay, now I pick song. Something loud like McKay say... oh! This work! I just turn volume all the way up to be sure.
[Photograph - Def Leppard]
Me try even louder now... ah... this one! Me try this one!
[Journey to Oblivion - Exhumer]
[Electro Violence - Overkill]
We going to keep playing music until we get response or reconnect to Boz. Someone hear this soon! Me believe so! Let's try this for a bit, see how that works!
[Smokin' - Boston]
(Addendum - Zapap went through a number of tracks of varying genres, eras intensity and volume. Interviews from those who had experienced the Relic's effects claim this music did indeed make it through the dome's energy barrier and led them to Boz, who's radio pack proved instrumental in resolving the incident.)
Professor Solus' Notes: Long term effects of relic undetermined. Assessment made largely from personal experience of event. Difficult to be conclusive. Initial experiences assisted greatly in dealing with long held problematic psychological issues. Some not truly confronted as expected. Subject will require talk with Yeoman Chambers to fully work through revelations. Suggest psychological assessment for all who experienced relic event. Mind valuable instrument. Needs proper care. Relic helped heal some wounds. Others it re-opened. Need to heal again.
Benefits of the Relic compromised partially by installed AI's experiment parameters. Assisted in dealing with trauma, phobias and other psychological issues. Sadly, had own agenda. Performed archaic methods of confronting trauma. Overuse of shock therapy. Most importantly, did not know when to stop. Shame. AI could have been helpful. Psychological therapy desperately needed in military. More so than in other professions. Thankful that experience has not put crew off seeking help. Many shown willingness to confront what they saw. Wish to continue therapy. Encouraging. Will suggest group session, open to all who wish to attend.
Impressed by subject Boz's composure. Never abandoned Nostalgic Phase of Relic's conditioning program. Music likely shielded him. Prevented progression in some manner. Unsure how. Hypothesize that Boz prefers happy memories over sadder ones that would break illusion. Most likely, has happier life than most, few complaints. Spoke to him briefly. Stated he is doing fine. Just glad he got to see mother again and relive childhood. Wishes to send her a vid mail expressing gratitude for parenting methods. Encouraged to do so.
Speaking for myself, the events of the relic we have dubbed "The Mind's Eye" have been remarkably profound. I have agreed with the good Professor's suggestion, it would be best if our soldiers and Marines properly continue the therapy that was started. While the AI largely responsible for the event had its own agenda that was undesirable, it's subset of goals to achieve that end were not without merit.
While I don't agree with the objective of our brainwaves being forced to coalesce into some gestalt hive mind, frankly, we could all benefit from a safe environment to freely share our thoughts with one another. So I have put a request to Colonel Holland and Admiral Whitcomb to set up a proper group therapy session for those who went through the Mindscape experience and still wish to discuss what they saw in there. While not everyone went through the same level of trauma or psychological stress as others, it would be good to be open about it.
These relics have become increasingly dangerous and with one left to acquire, I am seriously considering options for pressing forward. This is compounded by Zek's actions during this mission which, while seemingly helpful, have called into question his motivations yet again. The fact is, like the Forerunner AI, he has his own end goal. I am skeptical of how much said goal aligns with our stated interests of returning home and preventing the Covenant from obtaining dangerous artifacts they could use to prosecute the war against humanity with even greater destructive potential. Suffice to say, I do not trust the pirate at all.
That being said, I will admit that his men did well in fending off Snarlbeak's forces. While their commitment is in question, their resolve is not. Even if it is only for the sake of the treasure hunt, they are determined to stick by us. Their loyalty to contracts may be shallow, but it's better than nothing. Snarlbeak himself is likely to get more dangerous and determined in kind. I can't be certain what he saw during the Relic's activation, but I imagine it is nothing that will alter his course of action. It's not like he stuck around to apologize for all the horrible things he's ever done with some renewed purpose to become a baker or a mailman or what have you.
Special commendations should be made to Captain McKay, Thane Krios, Lieutenant Commander Varvok, Noble Three and Spartan-058. Both for the actions behind enemy lines and their attempts to rescue those trapped in the relic's energy field. McKay has proven herself a capable and valued leader. I trust her implicitly at this point to lead the ODSTs into battle. While I still have my doubts about some of the formerly mutinous members of the unit, McKay's ability to harass the enemy and coordinate efforts with Zapap to assist in recovery of the trapped personnel proves the Captain is not slowed by these potential pitfalls.
Boz proved to be a strangely valuable asset, if not militarily than most assuredly in a technical capacity. His customized rigging might be mostly for his radio show and music, but his machines were the only things that penetrated that Relic's energy field. While it did not directly assist in ending the threat in this case, the pack would later prove essential in disrupting the Forerunner AI's plans altogether. So if I can give any Jackal some measure of undue credit it is Boz, who has proven that his morale officer duties extend beyond just his own crew. He is affable, likable and has clearly gained a level of trust among the UNSC personnel. While I don't think that makes him more trustworthy than the other Jackals, he is at least less difficult to gauge. I do believe he truly just wants to make the lives of those within this little flotilla a little bit easier.
As for the facility that we found the relic in, I have made special note that the planet be registered as a Blacksite Zone, Level One Hundred. I do not feel the facility is safe. We have collected all relevant data on the facility before departure, I do not believe anything of value is left to be gleamed. And with the activation of the structure's defensive grid upon extraction of the relic, it would not be safe to approach the facility for the time being. It is best if we refrain from biting off more than we can chew here. We already have three relics of potentially dangerous power in our possession and a fourth is about to be added to it within a short period of time. I don't want to press our luck further on an additional expedition. This planet has no further value to the UNSC and should remain off the charts. We do not want to risk the Covenant tracking us back there and getting their hands on any of this data we recovered. Every edge is important after all.
Regards,
Lieutenant Elias Haverson
Office of Naval Intelligence
Sealed file, Marked for Level 5 Security Clearance.
The existence of a previously unknown human colony at the site of the Relic has been largely omitted from this log. I suspect there will be questions about this, I am putting it to top level superiors who I feel deserve to know why. I couldn't hide it from you anyway.
Let me first put my most practical reason for doing this. The fact of the matter is that revelations at the Colony made it clear that ONI has been compromised. I do not know how high the leak is. But I hope to have a better understanding by the time I file these reports in total. If a terrorist organization from another universe has indeed infiltrated our ranks, then allowing them knowledge of this or any colony where a former associate of theirs lived for several years is inadvisable. We cannot allow this rogue element within our ranks to continue to be given potential information that might jeopardize our integrity, the war effort and our potential alliances with those beyond the wormhole who have placed themselves in opposition to this organization. Cerberus cannot be trusted and, apparently, neither can a number of ONI personnel. If we are compromised, preventing this knowledge from leaking is paramount.
Second, as stated, there is no further need to investigate the facility, nor a reason to lock the site down. The facility is, in fact, locked down. Yes, by civilians, but they have done a remarkable job in maintaining the facility on their own and I believe they will continue to do so. If it pleases the higher ups, I would like to make a recommendation that the colonists of New Teteocan be formally deputized and designated as field agents on an extended research outing. In time, perhaps when the war is over and the civilian government resumes formal operation of Earth and her colonies, we can seek a clandestine agreement with the colony leadership to pass along any new information. A task that will be easier if 1) fewer people know about it, 2) they are not strongarmed into doing so, and 3) they retain their independence. As for the UNSC equipment still on site, it is largely outdated and or no longer functional. Reacquiring it would not improve our current situation in the war effort.
And lastly, any actions taken by the colonists of New Teteocan were no worse or better than what ONI has done over the years in service of protecting humanity. We are no less clean than they are. Anyone who claims differently is lying to themselves. We've sacrificed people, even Marines, in this war. There is nothing those colonists did that we wouldn't have done in their place, or have done on our own accord. This may not sound entirely practical as a reasoning, but it is true. There is no one left on the planet who was involved in the grisly events underlined in my file subsection I made in tandem to my final report on this matter. The guilty have already paid their debt. And while I will not suggest that the victims of the guilty party were deserving of their fate as a whole, I will state plainly that the situation was clearly exacerbated by an officer who did not understand what the UNSC is supposed to represent. In short, we failed the people of Apekis V, we should not do the same to those of New Teteocan.
It is my recommendation that we do not charge the colonists with anything. The matter is resolved and if you wish to pursue this still, I must advise that such an action would be a mistake. After all, the head elder of the colony has been given priveleged information on the inner workings of the Office of Naval Intelligence. Any attempt to prosecute her at this point, or members of her family, will likely result in various dangerous leaks that would harm the agency in undue fashion. I do not have the authority of course to force this position on you, but I do have to ask if this is worth the risk of all that over a single freighter and its crew in the midst of a war for our very survival?
I do not pretend this is heroic in my mind, I know what ONI is and always have known. We make decisions other people don't want to. We do things that dirty us so others can be clean. We persist and thrive in shadow to keep the lights on. That is not what a hero does, I am under no illusions there. However, it is what is necessary at times for us to survive. If I can appreciate that as a reality of our agency, perhaps we should appreciate the measures a civilian will put themselves through on their own accord to do the same.
We've hurt the colonists of New Teteocan enough. Let them rest. Let them do the work they're already doing for us. They are not a threat to the UNSC. The threat is coming from within our own agency. Cerberus has compromised us. They must be rooted out like the cancer they are. ONI cannot survive with them infesting us, neither can the UNSC. That is where our focus should be. And I will stand by that statement, die by it if I have to because I believe in what our agency stands for. We defend humanity, from threats from without... and within. Let us better recognize what is a threat and what is an asset. I think that's what this experience with the Jackals has taught me most of all. ONI has to pick its friends and enemies wiser than we do now. We must emerge from this crisis or fall to ruin. Cerberus must be expunged, and it will be.
Regards,
Lieutenant Elias Haverson
Office of Naval Intelligence
AN: Finally, the BBR chapter that's been long in the pipe. But it's here, if you were wondering how things were on the ground for the average soldier or what happened outside the memory dome, this is it. So, I hope you enjoyed it and I look forward to doing the next BBR in a more timely fashion as well as updating Liara's story too. See you all then.