Chapter 62: Face the Demons

Monika: "I'm in love with you."

Yuri: "I'm in love with you."

The constant thoughts flooding his mind in repeat. Thoughts overwhelming him as he walks down the dark streets. Making his way home alone from the others side of town. He thinks to himself and his life choices. Before he knew it he arrived home. Not moving an inch as he just stands there in front of the front gate, staring at his house. Moving his head away from home, he moved to the side.

Sayori: "There you are!" Opening the front door so suddenly. "Where have you been?"

Michael: "…" Not saying a word as he avoids eye contact.

Sayori: "Are you not feeling well again? I knew you were lying about feeling better. You should've just stayed home." She opens the front gate and places her hand on his forehead. "Hm? You don't seem hot, maybe just tired? Come on let's get inside. Dinners ready, I made hot pockets using the oven, so they should be even better than a microwave?"

[For You by HIM]

Michael: "They confessed." He finally spoke.

Sayori: "What?"

Michael: "They confessed and I did nothing." His lips quiver.

Sayori: "What are you talking about?"

Michael: "Yuri, Monika … What's wrong with everyone?"

Sayori: "MC?"

Michael: "I don't even know what I'm doing anymore? I don't know who I am anymore?" Tears start to run down his face. "Did I go wrong somewhere?"

Sayori: "…" Saying nothing, she just gave him a hug.

Michael: "Why am I like this? Why am I returning back to who I once was? After everything I've been through, why am I reverting back to the old me? Did I say something wrong? Did I do the wrong thing?"

Sayori: "Did something happen to you?" She finally spoke up after hearing him confess his demons again. Demons he thought he got rid of. "What happened between the three of you?" She allows him to compose himself before speaking again. It was then he told her about what happened. About what both Monika and Yuri had said and did.

"I see, so that's what happened?"

Michael: "I don't know what to do or what to say?"

Sayori: "MC … I'm sorry I should have … no I have no right to say it. This is something I can't help you with, but I'm always here to listen to you even when I don't have the answers."

Michael: "Thanks" He cracks a light smile.

Sayori: "I'll let the others know that you're not feeling well tomorrow. I'm sure they would understand."

Michael: "Ok" He says softly before they both return indoors.

Early morning the following day. Tying her white bow, adjusting her school uniform, and checking herself in the mirror. She looks at her reflection as she gives off a saddened expression.

Monika: "Time for another tedious day of school." (I can already guess he's not showing up. It's for the best he doesn't see me anymore.) She slaps her face. "Okay, now's not the time to feel this way. I have work to do as the school queen. I have to keep my focus. The New Year's Festival is in a couple of days." She grabs her belongings and left for school.

Seeing no one around, she assumed her parents had already left. To her it was for the best as she already has enough problems to deal with and another argument with her mother would only make things worse. After surviving another day of nonstop questioning from her fellow classmates, she finds herself tired and annoyed as she has to attend another meeting held by the Student Council Members.

Todd: "Then it's decided. The election will be held on February 12th. That should give every students time to think about who they want to elect and gives us the time we need to prepare."

Patty: "I agree with you. It seems like bad timing to announce an election when we haven't even had the Festival yet?"

Leo: "Well not matter what, I'm going to win. I ain't letting the King and Queen win."

[Song Ends]

Wyatt: "Well personally I don't really care who wins. I'm still going to do what I do best."

Leo: "What? Where did all that determination go? Out of all of us you were the one most excited."

Wyatt: "You sure it wasn't you?"

Leo: "Bleh!"

Zackary: "Well if you all agree then I can announce our meeting over. I hope you all do well for the Festival and for the election. See you all then." He smiles before everyone leaves for their clubs as the last bell rang.

Monika: (It's almost time. This week he'll be gone and the election will be held in a couple of weeks. I can't drop out or my mom will disown me. I hate being home. It's always so cold and lonely. My path has already been chosen. I can't change my future.) She looks out the window as the student leave for home. (Better get going. Natsuki will chew me out if I'm late again.)

Sayori: "Oh Monika, good you're here." She says as Monika enters the club room.

Monika: "Sorry if I'm late. I had to deal with, you know?"

Sayori: "That's fine. We know how popular you are."

Natsuki: "Tch! How dumb can these boys be?"

Yuri: "Natsuki, I know what you mean, but please be nice."

Natsuki: "Hmph! Hmph I say!" Folding her arms as she leaves for the closet out of habit.

Monika: "So anyways, what did you want to tell me Sayori?"

Sayori: "Oh right, well as you can see MC isn't here today."

Monika: "Again eh?"

Sayori: "I know, but yesterday he was feeling really sick, at first I thought he was doing well when I got home, but it would seem the cold had other ideas?"

Monika: "Well if he's sick then there's nothing we can do. I just hope he's well enough to perform Friday?"

Sayori: "Don't worry, I'll make sure he's taken care of, so we can all hear his poem."

Monika: "Thanks, I leave him in your hands."

Sayori does a salute. While they talk, listening in on their conversation. Pretending to read her novel. Yuri listening to what Sayori had said, knowing that she's only telling Monika half a lie as she know what really happened since she went with her to Michael's house.

Yuri: (Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything to him? Now he's using it as an excuse not to be here. He doesn't want to see me. I can't blame him. A disgusting girl like me confessing her unrequited love to a boy who doesn't share the same as me. He must think I'm garbage. It's for the best. Now he can be with Monika. Clearly a better choice than me.)

Monika: "Alright, so I have an announcement to make before we get started for today. First as members of the Literature Club, you have the right to know before we announce it. The election will be held on the 12th of February and as you know I will be participating."

Sayori: "Really? That's awesome to hear. I'm sure you'll win."

Monika: "Y-yeah, I'll win of course."

Natsuki: "So what's the second?" Clearing her throat before answering Natsuki's question.

Monika: "Now for the second is a no brainier, but just to be sure we're all up to snuff. Tomorrow there will be no club meeting."

Natsuki: "For real?"

Monika: "Yes, as you recall I said that you and Yuri will use that opportunity to bake the cupcakes as we agreed."

Natsuki: "Oh right. I did agree to that."

Monika: "Until then, today's our last day together before the School Festival. Let's work hard and complete the rest of our tasks."

Everyone Else: "Yes Mam!" They all get ready to work.

Sayori: (I wonder how MC is doing? I hope he's doing ok and not going out of town again?)

Staring up at the roof lost in thought as the girls work. Alone with negative thoughts clouding his mind as he lays in bed. Michael thinks about what's he's been through the past week. Remembering what Monika and Yuri said to him. The choice Sara gave him.

Michael: (They love me? They're in love with me? How do I respond to that? The both of them in pain. Alone in a world where they're forced to interact with. What am I supposed to do? I'm an immature teen male with his own fucked up problems. I'm not a doctor, I'm not even a man. I couldn't say anything to them, but run away. Coward I am.

Yuri, a smart beautiful girl who loves novels and stories. Shy, but talkative when it comes to books. So elegant and yet so adorable. Monika, a gorgeous athletic girl. The one every guy wants, a leader, a social butterfly, smart, and a girl way out of my league, and yet they confessed to me and their burdens. What is it they see in me?

I'm just a plain looking guy. I have no real talent, no real skill to impress and yet they see something in me? A fuck up like me is who they love? My life is a fucking mess that you could easily write a story about.)

"He deserves better." He remembers the words Yuri told Sara that night only to be interrupted by a sudden knock on his bedroom door.

"Huh?" The door opens suddenly.

Mom: "Ah, so you are home."

Michael: "Mom? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"

Mom: "It's my lunch break and I thought I could enjoy a meal at home, but I could ask you the same thing. Shouldn't you be in school?"

Michael: "I … I don't think I should go." He says sadly avoiding eye contact with his mom's silver eyes.

Mom: "Now Michael, we talked about this last time and …"

Michael: "It's not that. I just … I just don't think I can face them."

Mom: "Something troubling you?"

Michael: "Yeah"

Mom: "Talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind." They see each other eyes to eye, gold to silver.

Michael: "You'll think it's stupid?"

Mom: "If it's causing you this much trouble then it' not really stupid now is it?"

Michael: "I guess so?"

Mom: "Ok then, so tell me." Her son sighs heavily as she waits for his response.

Michael: "Well, you see two girls in my club, well … They both confessed to me."

Mom: "… Well that's good?"

Michael: "But the problem is, they also told me their inner demons."

Mom: "I see."

Michael: "And I don't know what to do? I like them both, but …"

Mom: "Is there another problem?"

Michael: "… I saw Sara again."

Mom: "I see."

Michael: "I thought that I made the right decision breaking up with her and I thought I was doing well after our break up, but after seeing her again, after the dreams I've been having. It all just came back and I don't know what to do anymore? I don't know how to respond to them or what to do next?"

Mom: "So that's what's been on your mind?"

Michael: "Yeah, that's why I haven't been attending school."

Mom: "Tell me, what do you want?"

Michael: "What?"

Mom: "What is it you want?"

Michael: "I, I don't know?"

Mom: "Let me tell you something? Are you like your dad or are you someone better than that?"

Michael: "…" His eyes widen a bit.

Mom: "Ask yourself that. Are you someone like your dad or are you Michael? Look at yourself and your life thus far. Your father was a terrible man, but you, you're someone better than that. You may look like him, you may share his eye color, share his bloodline, but you're not like him. He's Raphael Connor, you are Michael Connor. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise."

Michael: "Mom?" He looks up to her.

Mom: "Michael" She places her hand on his head and pushes aside his bangs to reveals both his gold eyes. "You are my pride and joy, and I don't have any doubts that you'll make the right decisions. After all, I'm the one who raised you."

Michael: "Mom"

Mom: "Like father like son as they say, but here? Like mother like son." She steps away from her son. "Well I better get back to work?"

Michael: "But what about food?"

Mom: "Don't worry about me. After all, mothers are always strong. I'll just get drive through or have one of my co-workers get me something?"

Michael: "O-ok?"

Mom: "As for you. I think it would be best if you get some fresh air. It might do you good?"

Michael: "Yeah ok. I'll see you soon."

Mom: "Yeah, take care son." She leaves the house and heads straight to work.

Michael: "… Ok, I guess it's time I head out? I've been coopt up in here for too long."

Later at the club.

Sayori: "Phew, we did it."

Monika: "Nice work Sayori. We managed to make twice as much as we did last time."

Sayori: "Yup! We're all set for Friday."

Monika: "Well I'm going to go check up on how Yuri and Natsuki are doing."

Sayori: "Kay, kay."

Monika: "How are things coming along?"

Natsuki: "Crap! I keep stabbing myself with these needles."

Monika: "Ah well …" She looks to Yuri who is sewing perfectly. "You got some skills right there?"

Yuri: "Th-thank you. I used to help my mother sew my father's clothes, so I naturally got better."

Monika: "Well it's nice to pick up on other skills. Never know when it will be useful?"

Yuri: "Indeed"

Natsuki: "Alright, finished."

Monika: "Ah how nice."

Yuri: "Nicely done."

Natsuki: "Heh, finally finished the first one."

Monika: "What?" She says with a smile on her face.

Yuri: "She only finished one."

Monika: "I heard that, but how?" She looks at Yuri's side and saw that she did all of the work on the others.

Natsuki: "Hey! I'll have you know that this is the first time I ever done anything like this. Cut me some slack." She pouts.

Monika: "Well I suppose you're right."

Yuri: "This is fine. Either way we finished our tasks."

Monika: "Oh is that right?" Yuri nods. "That's great, then that leaves the cupcakes."

Natsuki: "Yeah and since we're not meeting up tomorrow we should be able to make plenty of cupcakes."

Monika: "Perfect" Placing her hand on her chin thinking.

Natsuki: "What's up?"

Monika: "Hmm … I got it. Natsuki will it be alright if I was to join you?"

Natsuki: "Huh, why?"

Monika: "Maybe you could some extra hands?"

Natsuki: "Well I guess that's fine, I have to ask my dad first."

Monika: "Great then text me your address too."

Natsuki: "Alright"

Sayori: (Seems like they're done. Wish MC was here, but right now he's dealing with his own problems. I hope he's doing well?)

On the other side of town. The sun beginning to settle. Sitting on a nearby bench alone. Michael taking his mom's advice for fresh air as he thinks to himself and his conversation with his mom. Looking around his surroundings with no one in sight. Alone in a nearly empty park. On his way here, he saw the faces of people of different ages.

He saw the carefree children who knows nothing of the real world, teens at an emotional state who doesn't know what to do after graduation, the young adults not certain of their purpose in life or what to do with themselves, the elderly uncertain when death will come and if they achieved their personal goals.

All the humans regardless of age and race, feeling the same despair and uncertainty. Not knowing what to do with themselves, uncertain what to choose, uncertain if they made the right choices? Despite the flaws in humanity the world still stands. Death comes for everyone, it is what causes despair, but in the darkest of times. There is hope. Miracles that happen by chance. All it takes is a big heart and a peaceful mind. That is what creates a future.

Remembering his past adventures. Michael thinks back to everything that has happened before Sayori brought him over to the Literature Club. The scars, the pain his dad caused. The peaceful times he shared with Sayori. The light that he had in his darkest times, but choosing to set her free from him. To stop seeing her, a plan he thought was the right choice turned for the worst as he only caused her more pain.

Despite it all, she still talked to him like normal. Smiling, waving, even inviting him to her club despite his disinterest. In the end with doubts in himself, he stayed by them and they stayed by his side. Playing with Sayori, reading with Natsuki and Yuri, talking with Monika. His first real friends as everyone else had turn their backs on him for sharing his father's blood. They stood by his side and never gave up.

He felt loved, but also felt guilty that he could be holding them back. He wasted all their time worrying about him, wasting their time helping him, distracting them from their own goals. He never planned to stay at the club, only joining so they can keep it. Planning to help the club get more members before leaving himself. In the end the time he spent with them changed him.

And now he is forced to choose. A choice given to him by his ex. A choice whether to stay with her or to stay with the club. Sara his ex-lover, his addiction, a toxic love he wanted to get away from, but in the end he chose to get back together with her as a sick person. A sick person he never wanted to be again, but his own body betrayed him. A drug he desperately needs and only Sara can provide it with her body.

Sara: "So what is you need from me?"

A choice he has to make.

Michael: "…"

No more excuses.

Sara: "You called me all of a sudden, so what do you need lover?"

Michael: "We need to talk."

Sara: "Ok? About what?"

Michael: "That choice you've given me … I've finally made my decision."

Sara: "You did huh? That's great to hear, so you finally decide we should get bac…"

Michael: "I choose to be with the club."

[I Miss the Misery by Halestorm]

He stares directly into her eyes.

Sara: "You what?"

Michael: "I choose to be with the club, with my friends." He gets up with his crutches.

Sara: "Why? Why do you want to be with them? Why!? After everything I've done for you! You're just going to drop me again like that!?"

Michael: "I am."

Sara: "Tsk! Hmph, you got me good. I'll give you that."

Michael: "I'm not. I mean it. We're done."

Sara: "You say that now, but you'll just want me even more. You can't escape me, you love me, you love my body, you love my drug. You can't deny that. You'll just dream about me again and when you realize it you'll just hunt me down. Like a good dog. Loyal despite the treatment."

Michael: "You're right, I can't deny it. I miss it … I miss it all. I miss the lies, the pain, I miss the shouting, the blame, I miss the angry sex, I miss the misery, I miss the pain you cause me, the abuse. I miss it all. You are my addiction, you are my drug. I … I need you, I need that love of yours. I want it all. I want the abuse, I want the rough sex, I love the pain you give me. It's the greatest of pleasures. I want it all, but just like any others who faced these demons, who fought these desires, who struggled to keep their humanity … I can do it too. I'm not as weak as I thought. I'm no helpless boy, I'm no animal."

Sara: "You …" She says angrily.

Michael: "You once said that all men are animals. I won't deny that, you're right about that, but if I learned anything. It's that containing the beast and knowing when to unleash it, is what makes me a real man. I know if he was still here, he would agree."

Sara: "You mean?"

Michael: "I'm done being with you. Do whatever you want, but never come anywhere near me …" Sara tries to punch him, but he blocks off her attack with his hand, dropping his crutch. "… or my friends. I may be in crutches, but I can still fight. Don't expect me to go down without a fight. After all you helped made me this way. You and him."

Sara: "Grrrrr! Bastard! Do you have any idea how much I sacrificed!? Do you know how much shit I've gone through just so we can be together!?

[Song Ends]

Michael: "That's your own fault. You got no one to blame but yourself. Now get away from here and never come back. Never bother me or anyone else or so help me God." For a moment for the first time. He saw the fear in her eyes.

Sara: "Fine! See if I care! Good luck having fun with those bitches! They could never satisfy you the same way as I did!" She walks away with rage in her eyes as the sun settles.

Michael: "Goodbye Sara … a part of me will always love you, but my heart will go on to another." Picking up his crutch, gripping the handles intensely. "It's time for me to work. There's not enough time left."

[Nothing by Papa Roach]

Gripping his crutches tighter he immediately runs back to home. Meanwhile at the club.

Monika: "Alright, it's getting late."

Sayori: "Our last day together before the Festival."

Natsuki: "Being honest here, I'm kinda scared."

Yuri: "Indeed, my heart could pop out at any moment."

Monika: "…" (It's almost here.) "Alright, so everyone knows tomorrows plan?"

Natsuki: "Me, Yuri, and you are going to my place to bake the cupcakes right?"

Monika: "That is correct. There won't be a club meeting tomorrow, so all of you can just head straight home. Get whatever you need and head over to Natsuki's place. Natsuki make sure to message me your address."

Natsuki: "Right"

Sayori: "And what about me? What should I do?"

Monika: "For now just spend time nursing Michael back to health. All five of us are going to participate and I don't want him missing out."

Sayori: "Yeah, ok."

Yuri: "Monika, may I ask? What order should we perform?"

Monika: "I've been thinking about that and decided that we'll just do the same order as last time. If you all need a reminder, I'll be starting off our performance, then Sayori will start after me, after her Natsuki will be next followed by Yuri, and lastly Michael."

Sayori: "Ok got it!"

Natsuki: "Fine"

Yuri: "V-very well."

Monika: "If you don t have any more questions then it's time to call it day. I'll see you all Friday."

Everyone Else: "Yes mam!"

While they all pack up. On the other side of town struggling to get home quickly. Stopping in place to catch his breath.

Michael: "Ga! My … arms … there getting … tired … using … theses crutches." He says in between his heavy breathing. (I got to get home quickly. The Festival is just around the corner and I need to work on my poem. I got to show them, I got to show them how much I've grown. Come on stupid body of mine. Work harder. Come on!) "Come on move your ass!"

He starts walking again slowly. With each step he took, he began to pick up the paste. The faster he went the harder it was to balance on his crutches. However for split second, he starts to use both his legs. When he felt both his feet on the ground, he immediately let go of his crutches and began to run like normal. Picking his paste up even further he was in full sprint.

Ignoring everything around him, he ran all the way home on two feet. Before he knew it, he finally made it home. Staring at his house intensely, he thinks about his life once more. He thought about his childhood friend Sayori, the tough girl Natsuki, the shy bookworm Yuri, and the Club President Monika. He smiles to himself.

(Thanks … for always being there for me. Without you girls and the club, I wouldn't be who I am now. Now it's my turn to return the favor. I'll make you all proud with the skills you taught me. No more doubts in myself. For once I am truly free from my past. Now is the time to put my skills to the test.)

"Just you wait, because a new style is going to be born. I now know what I have to do. Monika, Yuri, it's finally time I help you two find your happiness. Let's get started, there's no time to waste."

[Song Ends]

End of Chapter 62