It's Just a Trick of the Moonlight
Chapter Twelve – Alive
My stomach twisted into knots as I walked into the cafeteria at school.
Stiles was sitting at a table alone.
Scott was at a different table with Allison and several other popular students.
I didn't see Lydia anywhere. I guess she was taking another day off school.
Stiles had gone to see her the night of the parent-teacher conferences and told me the doctors had put her on something to calm her nerves.
I wondered what she'd seen outside of the video store.
Did she see the alpha when it burst through the display windows or had she been watching what was happening inside of the store from her car?
Either way, from what Stiles told me. It seemed like Lydia may be handling whatever she'd seen the worst out of all of us.
Scott saw me and raised a hand to wave me over.
I took a step in his direction but stopped when I felt Stiles watching me too.
I had made it clear to them both that I wasn't picking sides.
But of course, it ends up being me who suffers through their feud.
If I sit with Scott then Stiles will feel like I've sided with him and vice-versa.
So I waved to Scott, turned, and waved to Stiles.
Then picked an empty table for myself.
I guess Stiles and I will each isolate and eat lunch on our own; Scott will get to sit with Allison.
On second thought; that doesn't sound very fair and just as I'd decided to go keep Stiles company something happened that I never saw coming.
Jackson Whittemore sat down across from me.
I slowly dropped back down into my seat from where I'd started to stand up and stared at him in shock.
"Hi?" My voice squeaked out of me.
"Hey." He responded with a nod before looking down at his phone.
The movement was so casual it would appear that nothing was out of the ordinary.
Is that what we do now?
We nearly died together and in those moments I had felt a strange sense of camaraderie with him.
Maybe he'd felt that too.
But still -we survived that night and things should be getting back to normal.
Jackson choosing to sit with me when there were a million other options definitely isn't the norm.
My phone chimed from my pocket with a text alert and in the time it took me to pull my phone from my jacket pocket; there was another alert.
Two texts.
The first one was from Stiles containing about a thousand question marks.
The second from Scott: Why are you sitting with Jackson?
I looked over in Scott's direction.
Why am I sitting with him?
Did he just blank on the fact that I was clearly sitting here first and Jackson sat down second?
Ignoring them both, I put my phone face down on the table beside my lunch tray.
In for a penny in for a pound with this situation of my best friends not talking to each other.
If they would just talk to one another, we could all three be sitting together and this wouldn't have happened.
Much more of this and I'm going to go full Cady Heron and spend my lunch in the bathroom from now on; Mean Girls style.
Over Jackson's shoulder, I saw Danny watching his best friend and I wondered why they weren't sitting together.
Must be the week for rifts among best friends.
I took a bite of the cheese pizza from my lunch and looked back around the room with no clue what to say to him.
My eyes stopped back on my impromptu lunch date with the thought that if he was going to sit with me, he should be the one to say something.
That's when it occurred to me that I don't recall seeing him talk to anyone since the night at the video rental store.
He was keeping his head down. Staying to himself and acting very un-Jackson-like.
When he realized I was staring and looked back at me I saw how noticeable the dark circles were under his eyes.
My eyes had been looking very shadowed as well.
Not so much today.
It was hard going back to the video store last night, reliving what I'd gone through -but it ended up helping more than I'd expected.
Maybe that adage about facing your fears really has something to it.
Plus, Derek held my hand again….
Nope. I've already sworn I'm not going there again.
Directing my focus back to Jackson, I saw it wasn't just the circles under his eyes. He looked pale and a little sweaty despite the room being cool.
Frankly, he looked sick.
Should I ask him if he's okay?
No. I hate when people ask me that.
Plus, I'm starting to think that he chose to sit with me for my silence.
Out of everyone at school, I would be the last person to ask him about the night of the attack.
Choosing to go with a more direct approach than just asking if he's fine. I took a drink from my bottle of water then said, "You don't look so good."
His eyes widened.
Smooth, Brie.
Real smooth…
"I always look good." He snapped.
No less than one-hundred percent offended by my remark.
Perhaps I should have tried to strike up a conversation with him about something else to allude to the video store -like how the bottle of bear mace I ordered offline is supposed to be delivered by the end of the week.
You know, just in case that mountain lion tries to come after me again.
With the way he's treated my best friends and me in the past, a part of me really, really just wanted to leave him in his misery.
But he was struggling.
Drowning.
And like any person with the common courtesy that he, himself, lacked. If you see someone going under, you help them.
Damn this kind heart.
Leaning forward and lowering my voice to a whisper, I said, "I haven't been able to sleep much since it happened either until last night."
His eyes darted from side to side, probably wondering why I was whispering when we're the only ones sitting here.
"Okay?" His brows raised, "What changed last night then?"
My eyes flicked over to Scott's direction, hoping he was too focused on Allison to hear me, "I went back… to where it happened."
He looked at me like I had three heads.
"I know." I conceded.
It had to sound crazy.
If we're being honest. Some days I am questioning my sanity.
"I don't know, I guess…" I downed another drink of my water, "It was like a part of me was still stuck there, just reliving that night over and over again. But going back? I can't explain it but it helped."
He nodded, his gaze dropping to the table and I watched as he put a hand over the back of his neck.
Then he looked up at me with an expression on his face that I didn't trust.
"Will you go with me?" He asked.
I can't fault him for not wanting to go alone -but today was just full of surprises because I didn't see that coming either.
"Um," I swallowed down the uneasy feeling growing inside of me, "When?"
"Now." He stared me down.
I've never been arrested for anything but I imagine this is how it feels to be on the wrong side of an interrogation table.
Something was off.
"Right now?" I stammered, "It's broad daylight. Someone could catch us in there."
Then the realization hit me that if I'm this uncomfortable with the idea of going with him in the daytime, I sure as hell don't want to go in the middle of the night.
"You know what?" My lips pulled into a tight smile trying to hide my nervousness, "I didn't want to go to Econ anyways."
Jackson smirked at me.
Not a friendly smile, but a cocky grin.
Yeah, I thought as he stood up and I followed suit, this is a bad idea.
But apparently, I'm just going to go along with it.
Just like how I got into a car with Derek back when I thought he was a serial killer.
I guess this is what I do now.
Live life on the edge and ignore my instincts.
I did want to help Jackson and I hoped returning to the scene of the crime would help him feel better like it had done for me.
But as I walked out of the cafeteria with him, I also couldn't deny that I was curious about why he wanted me to go with him.
As my mom would often warn me as a little kid; curiosity killed the cat.
Now it seems since severed bodies started turning up the woods and werewolves and hunters are running around Beacon Hills, not to mention the threat of the alpha -I am starting to develop a rather deep sense of curiosity, albeit, a morbid one.
On the upside, I thought as we neared his car in the parking lot… unless I hit the lottery, this may very well be my only opportunity to ride in a Porsche.
Jackson unlocked his car and got inside, tossing his backpack between the front seats into the back.
I opened the passenger side door and hesitated when I looked back to the school and I saw Stiles standing just outside of the doors.
He must have followed me.
Just then I saw the doors behind him burst open and Scott ran outside, nearly knocking Stiles over -and had this been before his werewolf reflexes, he most certainly would have.
Stiles rolled his eyes so dramatically, I could see it from where I was standing.
He shot another look at me and then walked back into the school.
Scott stared at the doors our best friend had disappeared back into before he started to walk towards the parking lot.
Quickly, I slid into the car and tossed my bag in the back just like Jackson had done.
Go! Go! Go!
Jackson read my mind and whipped the car out of the parking spot before speeding out of the lot.
We left poor Scott standing there in the dust.
The last glimpse of his face I saw hurt me- he wasn't just confused, he was now worried.
After fastening my seat belt, I got my phone out to text him and let him know I was okay.
My thumbs hovered over the screen.
Another text from Stiles came through; a repeat of several question marks.
I decided against texting either of them again.
Even though I know back when they were lying and hiding things from me it was born from trying to protect me -but I think I'm still a little pissed at them both.
It also doesn't help matters that they keep demanding I stay away from Derek.
Add that to the fact that I'm not fond of being told what to do.
~( )~
My eyes scanned the destroyed video store.
It looked quite a bit different in the daylight.
Probably should have looked less scary but for some reason, I'm feeling much more uneasy than I did last night.
Maybe that had something to do with the fact Derek was here with me the last time.
Jackson drew my attention in his direction when he kicked a DVD case across the carpeted floor.
I watched him as he looked around the store.
I felt like I should be offering some sort of guidance.
Derek had pretty much walked me through using the feelings being back here brought out to remember all the details I could.
My phone chimed from my pocket again.
Another text message.
This time it was from Scott.
And I decided not to text him back yet.
All of a sudden they are both very interested in where I'm at and what I'm doing -something neither of them was concerned about when they ditched me at the party to find my way home.
"McCall's dealer?" Jackson guessed.
"What?" I stammered when I silenced my phone and put it back in my jacket pocket, "I told you Scott isn't on drugs."
"Okay." Jackson flashed me a winning smile, "Who's that guy then?"
"A friend." I simply answered.
"Yeah?" He leaned against the counter, keeping his eyes intently focused on me, "Like a boyfriend?"
Oh. My. God.
He really just asked me that.
What is this?
I looked around, growing nervous with the realization Jackson was paying much more attention to me than he was the video store.
"No," I answered.
Not that I owed him one.
"Come on, Brie," Jackson said as he walked closer. Saying my name like we were old friends, "Who is he?"
My brows lowered as I scanned his face.
He gets everything he wants when he turns on the charm, I'm sure.
Jokes on your Jackson, I'm immune to your appeal.
There's a certain tall, dark and creepy werewolf a few years older than us -who is apparently, exactly my type and the only guy I'm interested in.
So you can smile at me all you want but you're no Derek Hale.
That's all it took; one thought of Derek for my mind to go into a spiral of racing thoughts about him and right on cue my heart refuses to steady.
I must have been lost in my head for too long and missed something Jackson said.
The next thing I knew, his hands were on my upper arms and my back collided with the closest wall and he was in my face, "Well?!"
"What?" I yelled back trying to twist free but he didn't let go.
"Who is he?!"
My ears ached from the volume of his voice.
he had no concept that we were in an enclosed space and he needed to use his indoor voice.
My head was spinning.
"Who? Derek?" My eyes frantically darted back and forth across Jackson's face -which was much too close to mine.
With a staggering step back from me, he held onto the back of his neck, breathing erratically.
"I knew that…" He mumbled out in a hushed whisper, "How did I know that?"
"What are you talking about?" I unpeeled my back from the wall.
"I don't…" Jackson breathed shaking his head and doubling over like he was in pain, "I don't know!"
His voice boomed through the building and I jumped back so fast, I lost my footing and landed with a thud on the floor.
I was still in place from where I landed when Jackson seemed to regain control of himself and looked down to where I was sitting.
He appeared confused as he looked around us.
"I'm sorry." He said -and I actually believed it.
All traces of his formerly angry expression had left and he looked terrified.
One might even say broken.
Stepping closer he offered me a hand to help pull me to my feet.
But I didn't budge.
"I'm sorry." He repeated.
"I heard you the first time," I said as harshly as I could manage.
I hoped the tone of my voice conveyed just how angry I was, but sitting there on the floor with my arms stubbornly crossed over my chest, I imagine I had to have looked a few minutes shy of throwing a tantrum.
Jackson, being chock full of surprise that day, sat down on the floor with me.
Here we were.
Back to where it all started on the floor of the video store together; minus the alpha this time.
"Derek." Jackson repeated the name back to me, "He's your friend?"
His eyes were a little wide. Like what I said next could be life-altering.
"I…" The look on his face caught me off guard and I stumbled over my words, "I think so. I don't know. Why?"
"Can you tell him I didn't see anything?" Jackson asked me.
There it was again; the look of fear on his face.
"What are you talking about?" My eyes squinted at him.
He gave me the same confused expression in return.
Was I missing something here?
With an eye roll, Jackson sighed, "You don't even know, do you?"
Before I respond he continued, "That he was at the school today? That he cornered me in the locker room!"
Love how he said that like this somehow my fault.
"You know what? Forget it." He grumbled as he got to his feet.
Guess he realized spending time with me was a waste; the same way I realized I should have just trusted my gut back at the school and never came here with him.
He never actually wanted my help.
He's clearly in bad shape and needs help but I think he's more concerned with figuring out Scott's secret.
This is possibly the first time in my entire life that I've got one up on Jackson Whittemore.
I know more than he does. A lot more. Even though some days I still wish I didn't.
Seeing how he's been holding up since the night of the animal attack, I imagine he'd probably handle the knowledge of the supernatural about as well I was -minus the uncontrollable sobbing.
A small part of me, a part filled with meanness and bitterness, that remembered every single time this guy was a complete asshole to me… that part of me wanted to tell him.
See what sort of downward spiral would ensue.
As it is, most days I'm still circling the drain myself.
We left the building and headed back to his car.
Pulling in a deep breath, I let the air nestle and take up residence in my lungs before exhaling.
No, I'm not that person and I'm not going to be cruel to him simply because I could.
Plus, it would endanger one of my best friend's lives and it doesn't matter what kind of breach there is between us.
I would die for Scott and Stiles.
Pretty sure I'd kill for them too if it came down to it.
With that thought, I squinted my eyes at Jackson as he drove.
He watched me from the corner of his eyes.
"I shouldn't have done that back there." He apologized again.
But I'm not buying a damn thing Mr. Perfect is selling anymore.
I went out of my way to try and help him -only to find out he's still the same jerk he's always been.
He wanted to get me alone.
Probably thought I'd be the easiest one to get information out of.
The weakest link out of my best friends.
That thought made me frown.
He might not be wrong.
"Yeah, you shouldn't have." I kept my voice strong.
I saw his jaw tense.
"But I guess people do tend to lash out when they're scared," I added.
Oops. So much for choosing kindness.
He scoffed. Shook his head.
"I'm not scared of anything."
Catching a glimpse of the dashboard, I saw the speedometer rising into the 60s.
It appears I've struck a nerve and just because I'm feeling bitchy from being used like this, I'm going to pluck at another one.
"You're terrified!" I accused, turning some in my seat to get a better look at him, "I mean… you're kind of losing it, Jackson. Both on and off the field."
"I'm the best player at our school." His voice was a growl.
"Sure," I argued with a chuckle, "I wonder how long before Coach Finstock makes Scott captain?"
Taunting him like that was wrong and I knew it.
But it also felt kinda good.
He walks around treating people like shit and I always thought he could use a dose of his own medicine, I just never saw myself being the one to dish it back to him.
A part of me also felt guilty, knowing I was taking anger out on him that was pent up for a while now and didn't have anything to do with him.
Our surroundings blurred and my head started to feel dizzy when I looked around with our continually increasing speed.
"Jackson?" I asked.
The car might as well have been steering itself. He wasn't there anymore.
"Hey!" I yelled louder, "Jackson! Slow down!"
"You know…" He shook his head and the car accelerated further, "I guess since you've never been good at… literally anything in your life, you have no idea what it's like to be the best and have that taken from you."
He blew through a stop sign at an intersection.
The noise of angry drivers honking their horns at us was already in the past. A distant sound.
"I've earned this!" His voice raised, "I don't know what McCall did to get so good at lacrosse overnight. Drugs or… I don't know, but I know it's something, okay?"
"Jackson." I tried to keep my voice level.
Leaning over some I saw we were edging over 100mph now.
"You need to-"
"Slow down?" He finished for me with a smile as he took his eyes completely off the road and looked at me for a moment, "I'll slow down -when you tell me how McCall's cheating."
I knew there was a traffic light up ahead in a usually busy part of town.
I opened my mouth to scream at him to stop before he wrecked and killed the both of us. Threaten him or something.
That's when it happened.
Like something inside of me just broke off.
And the part of me that should have felt absolute terror at the thought of it felt something else.
Alive.
We were on a collision course.
Practically tongue kissing with death and I was loving every second of it.
We could die at any moment if he lost control of the car and for the first time in a while, I felt like I was living again.
I threw my head back with a laugh.
This was it. I've snapped. Lost my mind.
Snagged a one-way ticket to crazy town.
"What the hell are you laughing at?" Jackson yelled at me.
I tried to contain myself but when I looked over at him again I could see sweat starting to bead at his hairline.
Another boom of a laugh erupted from somewhere deep inside of me that I didn't think was even capable of feeling anything positive anymore.
We were almost mauled to death just days before by a monster of a werewolf and he thought a speeding car was going to force me into submission?
"You really thought after what we've gone through-" My sentence was broken between my laughs and gasps for air, "That this would scare me?"
"Huh?" He stammered.
Facing forward I saw the traffic light was yellow for our direction.
I watched as Jackson looked from the light down to the dash, probably trying to determine if we had a chance in hell of stopping if he applied the brakes.
We didn't.
He was smiling when he looked back over at me, practically an ear-to-ear grin as he sped up even more.
We blasted through the intersection, narrowly avoiding an accident.
Once again we brushed with death and came out on the other side still breathing.
By the time Jackson did slow down to a speed much closer to the posted limit, we were both cracking up.
A pair of hyenas.
I'm sure if the seatbelts weren't strapping us to the seats, we'd probably have fallen out of the car in a fit of laughter.
We'd both turned into the physical embodiment of ROTFLMFAO.
So much so that he ended up having to pull off the side of the road because he hadn't been able to keep the car in the correct lane.
When we were both calmed down enough to speak, he asked if I wanted to go back to school.
I opted for home instead.
There was precisely a 0% chance I'd be able to sit through the rest of my classes.
Also might have been avoiding giving Scott and Stiles an explanation as to why I fled school in the middle of the day with one of our sworn enemies.
A new surge of energy had completely erased the perpetual exhaustion I've been living in.
Dark clouds had been lifted and the sun was shining was once again.
Cue the Micheal Bublé -'cause I'm Feeling Good has become my theme song.
My mood didn't even dampen when Jackson dropped me off at my house and I saw my aunt had just gotten home as well.
Considering I still should have been at school for a couple more hours, I could only imagine she wouldn't be happy to see me.
"Aubrie?" She called out to me as I started up the driveway, "What's going on? Are you okay?"
Sheila checked the watch on her wrist.
"I am." I offered a wide smile, "I'm okay."
Her eyes lingered in the direction that Jackson's Porsche disappeared into.
"Who was that?" She asked me.
"Jackson," I admitted. Dropping my shoulders into a shrug, "A guy from school."
She looked concerned.
I guess in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't too long ago that she'd seen Derek dropping me off.
We walked towards the house together and she pried, "You skipped school with this Jackson?"
"Just a few classes." I dismissed like it wasn't a big deal.
"Where's Stiles? What about Scott?" Sheila questioned, juggling her bag in one hand and the house keys in the other.
Shit. I realized I left my school bag in Jackson's car.
"School." I started to answer as I followed her into the house but she interrupted me, "No, I mean in general. Neither of them have been over to the house recently."
My brows lowered at her words.
"I have other friends besides Scott and Stiles." I defended.
Which was a lie. I mean I guess I'm sort of friends with Allison?
"Like this Jackson, you skipped school with… and Derek Hale who brought home late that one night?" She tucked her hair behind her ears and shifted her stance.
She's uncomfortable trying to play the parent card; she'd rather be my friend.
I opened my mouth to apologize for making her worry, planning on assuring her I was fine.
She beat me to it.
"Ah, honey, I'm sorry." Sheila dropped her head forward, "It's just… I always feel better knowing you're with them. You three have always watched out for one another."
Translation: I don't have to worry about you with them because I know they'll protect you.
I bit down on the side of my tongue to keep from snapping at her.
She meant well and I knew that.
Just like as irritating as it was when my best friend's ordered me to stay away from Derek, they meant well too.
But I'm turning 17 in a few weeks.
I've been living with knowing one of my best friends is a werewolf.
I've survived an attack by the alpha.
Faced down hunters at a gas station.
Proven I'm immune to both Jackson's charms and his aggression.
I kissed Derek.
Okay, maybe he kissed me, but I kissed him back.
Apparently, I'm a thrill seeker now.
The only time I've felt okay since all of this started was back in the car flying down the streets.
Everything and nearly everyone in my life is changing so why do they all seem to think that I'm still the same person I was before this?
I'm getting pretty tired of Scott and Stiles trying to protect me.
It makes me feel like I'm a little annoying sister following them around. I'm older than them. Less than a full calendar year older, but still.
Earlier today I thought I was the weak link but I don't feel like that any longer.
A/N -Thank you so much for reading! I've really been enjoying getting back into my Teen Wolf stories!
Hopefully you're all enjoying the updates! lol
It would mean the world if you'd take the time to leave a review!