Nov. 23. 2009 - UPDATE: So, as you've all been able to notice, everything I release these days is either Final Fantasy or...yah, Final Fantasy. You'll have to excuse my lack of updates for "Underneath It All." As I've explained on my Y!Gal account, the Naruto manga is depressing me so much I get no motivation at all to write for the series. I keep losing my respect and love for the characters and the manga in general. It's hard to write for a fandom when you've got no love at all for it left. It's sad but the turn of events have gotten me really disillusioned. I will leave the explicit details out since they do pass for spoilers for those of you that haven't reached the manga's undoing. I miss the good old days. I don't know if it's just me but it just seems like the closer Naruto tries to get to Sasuke, the further away from him he gets. I'm tired of waiting for them to get together and fight already, say what they need to say and either become bitter rivals or best friends. I'm sick of the mental masturbation, if you will. Kishi is teasing and teasing and teasing and after a while, it just stops being stimulating for the brain you know? I do hope the matter is resolved and maybe inspiration will strike back again? I dunno. I hope so.

I felt the need to add a special note here to some of my favorite Final Fantasy writers.

Rainbow Serenity - I'm done with the Christmas fic I wrote for you! I'm really excited about it too. It was meant to be a Birthday fic but it got too late to do that. She is the mod for the Clack LJ community and definitely made of AWESOME. Her Clack helped me survive the summer along with Xenobia's. Much love!

Lemon-Sprinkles - I just finished reading "Sunday Afternoon's" and I have never laughed/squealed/cried so much in my life while reading a fic. This is a must-read beautiful piece. I'm hoping she writes more Clack in the future. Awesome stamps her forehead.

Quiet N Cyrptic - I don't only love her Clack and Zangeal but she keeps me motivated to write more Clack. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Of course, made of awesome XD

Amarissia - My Zangeal angel...and Seph/Zack...and Clack...and Seph/Cloud/Zack...and Seph/Gen/Angeal/Zack...amazing writer, like, she's gonna get published soon and I'm going to be so proud of her! Well I already am but I'm gonna be prouder of her. There. Awesome!

CinnyMon - Je t'aime Angeal was the first Zangeal fic I read and I find it is a timeless classic. I just love it so much! Awesome approved!

Mystic Fate - Crystal Clear was the first Clack I read and also find it to be a timeless classic. I've read it like five times now. Love the way she portrays Zack! He's adorable!! Awesomeness!

Ardwynna Morrigu - Independence Day in the People's Republic of Zack 'Nough said. Awesome.

Xenobia - possibly my favorite het writer in the fandom, also one of my fave yaoi writers. :hugs: very awesome! Her writing turned an unbearable summer into a tolerable one. Homesickness was nonexistent thanks to her fic, Darkness Before Dawn.

Tobi-Uchiha - I think it's funny we both have Naruto nicks and both are fully into Final Fantasy at the moment. Even so, thanks so much for your kind words and much needed support. You are made of awesome of course, yes you are! Lol

I can't possibly type in all of my faves--this list doesn't really come close. Even so, I thank everyone that has supported me in one way or another. You've no idea how therapeutic it has been for me to read and write for this fandom. I needed something to take over my life completely. I've been able to get through most of the emotional trauma I've been going through lately and I feel I partly need to thank every one of you for this. You've been enormously helpful.

I'll leave the links for stuff you might enjoy up here so you can...er...enjoy. provided by izzy, a good friend and penpal, luv u bunches!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=jC1pjzHBIoQ (this is hot!!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui3E-h8OgKk&NR=1 (this is a cosplay)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrKMGUzNpYQ (very creative :) )

just so you know, izzi is my source of inspiration as well as my source of yaoi knowledge. just when i think i know everything there is to know about yaoi, she shows up with links like these and i'm like "shit, i've got long ways to go!!" i dunno where she gets them from but they never disappoint ;) hope you like them!

oh! not that this is any relevant to the update up here but i am officially obssessed with the new paco rabanne commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx_YLCV8z14&NR=1

sizzling is it not!? forgive me if it's not so "new." it takes like a month and a half for new stuff in the u.s to get here. i'm telling you! this sucks big time!

what's supposed to go down here, yadda, yadda: i like drawing sketches, writing poetry, music, singing (i suck though but if i could have one voice in the world it would be claudette ortiz's). i do sports and i was never particularly drawn to football until i visited the states and went to a game once. it gets a bit complicated!

Pairings I Like (and will probably write about): Final Fantasy: Cloud/Zack, Cloud/Reno, Cloud/Leon, Seph/Gen, Seph/Cloud, Seph/Gen/Angeal, Zack/Angeal, Zack/Angeal/Gen/Seph, Zack/Cloud/Seph, Zack/Cloud/Angeal, Zack/Seph, Cloud/Tifa, Rude/Tifa, Zack/Aerith. Naruto: Sasu/Naru, Ita/Shisui, Ita/Dei, Kaka/Iru, Kaka/Obito, Neji/Gaa, Neji/Tenten, Saku/Sai, Saku/Lee, Ino/Cho, Shik/Tema, Kiba/Hina.

Pairings I Dislike (can read about without trembling with anger): Final Fantasy: none. Naruto: Ita/Kisa, Ita/Kaka, Shika/Ino.

Pairings I Despise (I can't stand!): Naruto: Ita/Naru, Gaa/Naru, Naru/Gaa, Ita/Sasu (i'm indifferent about Sasu/Saku, Naru/Saku and Naru/Hina which = lower than despising them). itachi and naruto...ugh! i just like sasuke and naruto better. gaa/naru and naru/gaa i don't like b/c i get jealous. gaara's the only other guy deserving of naruto's love...besides sasuke that is! ita/sasu = disturbing. i won't even go there.

Aspiration(s): i aspire to write yaoi lemons like elegentmess someday...oh! and get a naruto headband like hers! (it's so kawaiiii!)

Obssession(s): these are writers whose "in-progress" work i'm hooked to at the moment. So Sky-eyed Kitsune, brilliant author of the story "Love Me Not." obsequiouslover, very original and creative writer of the story "Seduction." Rasengan22, as if i could choose a particular story i like of yours! i absolutely love ALL of her work. a LOT of details to them as well as great settings, something i wish i knew how to pull off without making my stories boring. asashouryuu, the only author on that has made me bawl with her inspiring work--i'm currently hooked to "Secession" though absolutely everything she has written has so much emotion to it i just can't help myself! Ladelle (had to take out the word "stalk" since it apparently holds a literal meaning to some people... -_-' ) ladelle's currently at the top of my a-list. very different and smart work. she aspires to become a real writer someday and her writing is so amazing i don't doubt she'll make it! very talented writer. i'm currently reading "Misery Business" and following "Wrong Side of Normal," "Dead Weight," "Belong to Me," and "Uzumaki Triangle."

There is a Naru/Sasu story dedicated to me! blushes madly!Yes, the purpose of this story was to convince me to try (and eventually like) more Naru/Sasu's (back when i minded). I gotta tell you...it was H-O-T HOT. so check it out whenever you get a chance. author's name is elegentmess and the story's called ride 'em cowboys. do not miss out on this if you like perfectly done lemons. just so you know, in her stories, naru and sasu have what they call 'sexy saturdays.' i think it's pretty self-explanatory.

soooo you've probably noticed my annoying obsession with parentheses already? i dunno what the hell is it about the little guys (()) i just love them!

future projects are swirming within this head of mine. i'm currently helping Cos write a band fic i hope y'all like! when everything is settled and ready for release i'll let you know so you can read and review (pretty pleeeeeease?) after i finish UIA i'll figure out whether or not i'll continue writing in general. so, hope everything is well (this is a heartfelt wish). thank you for reading my profile and come back again soon! ;)

quotes: my quotes were written by famous supermodel Gia Marie Carnegie (yeah, so she was a lesbian drug addict, fuck off!)--God bless her soul, because i find certain similarities between our personalities.

"Life and death. Energy and peace. If I stop today, it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I have made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul. It was worth it for having been allowed to walk where I've walked which was to hell on Earth, heaven on Earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it and above."

"You have to go? You have to go. Where the fuck does everybody go when they say they have to go?"

"We are in this private program where we've got to say sorry to all the people we hurt while we were drugging and I was like, FUCK MAN THAT COULD TAKE ALL MY LIFE!" (lol)

"Dear book, this is another day in the life. A life is like a book. A book is like a box. A box has six sides, an inside and an outside. So, how do you get to what’s inside? How do you get to what’s inside out?"

"I think there's a reason for everything. And I think that there's a plan for everybody. And I think that God has a BIG plan for me...just not in this life."

"And I would tell them you don't have to be anybody because I would know that being somebody doesn't make you anybody anyway."

by far, my favorite, "This is not heaven, this is life. We don't have to be perfect."

those of you looking for yaoi manga go to and check out the following:

1. Brothers (Smexy & cute!)

2. Junjou Romantica (cute!)

3. Haru wo Daite Ita (fell in love with! fabulous work by youka nitta! this one's restricted. you'll need to sign up and prove you're of legal age in order to read it. it has pretty strong content but it's also a romantic comedy.)

there, just a little to get you started on. the reason i'm doing this is because, while doing research--not that i give a shit what anybody thinks of me buuuuuut my mother is a fucking puritan so just to make her proud: i'm not reading yaoi mom! i'm doing research!--i couldn't find a damn thing on yaoi then all of the sudden i go to elegentmess's profile page and there's a link to a website, saying this is where she gets yaoi manga. i'm like, fuck! i've been trying to find something like this for ages!

also good:

1. After I Get Drunk on You (here's a link for a direct download, this is hawt! http : / / dpscanlations . elseworlds . org / releases / --take the spaces out!)

2. Love Mode (i've only heard about this one but the reviews are so amazing i can't help but wanting to read it too! so if anyone knows where to get it for free, please...let me know...)

3. Gravitation (i've only heard about this one but the reviews are so amazing i can't help but wanting to read it too! so if anyone knows where to get it for free, please...let me know...)

those of you looking for yaoi anime go to . you'll have to download the 'veohTV' application. it's a really short and simple process and it's well worth it. all yaoi animes i've been looking for i've found here. they have a pretty good selection. if not, try going to www.youtube.com but i doubt they'll have more yaoi anime than veohtv does.

WOW would you look at that? my profile! it's gotten longer!! a month ago i had to google the definition of 'yaoi' and now look at me! with a profile in yaoi-language and everything! sniffle...i'm so proud!