I sighed heavily as I sipped at this nasty ass beer as I was dragged to another Sunday dinner at Gemma's house by Chibs. Unfortunately, I've used up all my excuses to avoid SOA boys after they accused me of being the rat in their group and sure as hell didn't want to sit at the same table as Clay acting like it was all good. I haven't really had the chance to clear shit up with Jax's as I've been avoiding him outside of picking up my niece throughout the weeks. The only blessing was that Donna was forced to attend as well as she was sitting across from me with a bland smile across her face as she tried to follow along with the conversation. Another Tacoma member, besides Happy, Kozik was present for the dinner, but was amusing how Tig kept giving this man the deadliest stare.
I slid out my phone and pulled up Donna's contact and texted her:
Are you as bored as I am? -AJ
I laid my phone against my lap, seeing Donna snapped out of her daze when her phone vibrated. She peeked at me, a smile at the corner of her lips as she looked back down to read the message. I watched her fingers type away, before my phone started to vibrate.
I'm about to take this fork and stab myself right in the carotid. Anything is better than listening to Gemma go on and on. I need a strong drink to get through this. -DW
I waved my fork, making stabbing motions at her. She snorted, hiding her laughs in her hands. I texted back:
I got the henny in my bag! Lol -AJ
Our little texting session was interrupted when Opie turned to Donna to say, "Who got you smiling like that? Let me see!" Opie teases, reaching for her phone. Donna turned away, giggling.
"Mind your business, Harry Winston!" She laughs, trying to evade his hands.
"I have to assume she's up to no good when it comes to AJ." Chibs chimed in, kissing my cheek before sitting down back at the table.
I faked gasp, pivoting his way. "Now you know I've been on my best behavior. I cross my heart." I said while I had my fingers crossed behind my back. Chibs just sipped his beer, not believing a word that was coming out my mouth.
There was a boisterous laughter that came from Happy, Bobby, Jax, and Kozik, causing me to look briefly in their direction. "Fucking Peaches went crazy on that girl, man! I've never seen her like that!" Kozik commented, piquing my interest. Since the party, I've talked and texted Peaches everyday, just catching up with her. At some point, I was planning to take a trip to Tacoma to spend a weekend with her. I remember her mentioning getting into with that woman that was all on Chibs at the party. Damn, what's her name again? I think the bitch was talking shit about her and it got back to her through one of the girls. I was about to sip on my beer when I heard Kozik say, "The reason Peaches didn't fuck her up, because Maddie was claiming she was pregnant."
I 'hmmed', putting my beer down. I took a deep breath, telling myself no to overreact. This wasn't the time nor the place. I pushed it in the back of my mind for now. I had to change the conversation as I sat down with my beer. I could feel several eyes on me, though the glare that Chibs sent Kozik was telling.
"Hey Bobby, why didn't you drag my girl up here!" I said, moving the salt shaker out of Tig's grasp as that was about to be the third time he was going to grab it and knowing he was on sodium restriction due to his high blood pressure. He pinched my hand petulantly, trying to grab it from my grasp, but was unsuccessful.
"I tried, but she had to finish up her finals, but she will be coming down in two weeks during break." Bobby explained, rubbing at his beard.
"That bitch! She didn't even tell me that. That reminds me, how did your test go for interpersonal communications?" I asked, directing my last question to Donna.
She sighed. "I got a 85, lower than I expected. I don't know where I went wrong." Donna explained, picking up her beer to sip on.
"Now that is pretty damn good, especially when you are getting back in the swing of things. I learned one important thing and that is to talk to your instructor about all the quizzes and tests, especially if you know you put in the time and effort. Otherwise if you didn't put in the time, you know where you went wrong, but I don't think that's it, especially seeing you in the shop studying in between tasks. Always think 'how can I do better?' and not 'What I did wrong?'" I sympathized with her, because when I first went to college, that shit was a nightmare, seeing I had learned enough to gain a GED. I had no formal experience or education as it was mental hell trying to build on a shaky background.
"Donna, I'm really proud of you. Ain't the smartest cookie, but you can definitely read outloud to me if you need to." Opie said before kissing her forehead. Donna turned red, not liking the attention, but leaned into his affection anyways.
"Thanks, I don't know… maybe I'm feeling a little inadequate around the younger students." Donna explained.
"Man, fuck them hoes! Half of them are probably cheating anyway. Don't measure your success with someone else, because what's meant for you is not meant for anybody else. You are doing fine, Donna." I said.
I had completely lost my appetite at this point and it wasn't even over the fact about her being pregnant, because I already know that Chibs hasn't cheated on me and she wasn't looking like she was about to pop at the party guzzling down liquor like everybody else. An uncomfortable tightness formed in my throat as a dark vibe clouded over me. My chair scooted across the floor as I got up from my seat. "Umm… I'll start washing dishes." I said getting ready to walk off to the kitchen, but Chibs grabbed my hand before I got too far. I refrained from rolling my eyes and snapping as I looked down at Chibs, who had a cautious look on his face. "You good?"
I put on a fake, soft smile. "Yeah, I'm fine." I said.
I wasn't very convincing as Chibs grimaced, but let go to avoid a scene.
It didn't take long for me to have the leftovers packed up and stored in the refrigerator before I moved onto the dishes. I was scrubbing a particular stubborn skillet when I heard the familiar clicking of Gemma's heels come into the kitchen. I looked quickly over my shoulders to see her have a stack of dishes in hand. "You can leave them there. I'll take care of them." I said, going back to scrubbing the pan. I thought Gemma was going to leave, but saddled up next to me, grabbing a dishcloth to start drying the dishes.
We were in a comfortable silence for a few minutes as I tried to get lost in the repetitive task, trying to ignore the goosebumps at the base of my neck, a ghostly touch making my skin crawl.
"I like you, Anissa." Gemma said, not breaking her task of drying the dishes.
I snorted with disbelief as I handed her the pan. "You have a funny way of showing it." A little bit of relief to get my mind elsewhere.
"Yeah, I've been busting your balls, but those boys are my family and it's my duty to make sure they are protected, especially my grandbaby." Gemma countered unapologetically.
Naturally, I wanted to call her on her bullshit, but I couldn't help but respect it. I didn't doubt Gemma would go the lengths to protect the family. Isn't that the reason I was so fucked up, because I didn't have someone as a child to go the length to protect me.
I sighed as I handed over another plate. "I might not like your 'follow the leader' bullshit, I have respect for you. And maybe if I had someone like you to give a shit about me like you care for them… anyways trust is a process." I mumbled, but yelped soon after I cut my hand on a knife.
"Shit." Gemma said, grabbing my hand to put under the running water. She squirted antibacterial soap into the cut.
"I'm fine, Gemma. It's just a small cut." I said, trying to pull my hand away.
"Shut up and let me help." She ignored my scathing look, but I relented my hand to her control. She grabbed one of her clean dish towels to apply pressure to cut as she pulled my hand away from the water. "Squeeze your hand while I grab a bandage from the pantry." She ordered, walking away. I sat at one of the stools at the island, holding onto the towel. She walked back over with gauze, alcohol, and tape. She pulled up the stool in front of me to sit. I let her take my hand to sit up on the counter. "The cut is not too deep." Unexpectedly, she poured the alcohol into the open wound causing to silently gasp with pain.
"What the fuck? Can you be more gentle?" I snapped, trying to blow into the wound.
She rolled her eyes as she dabbed at the cut. "Don't be a fucking baby!"
I bit my tongue to stop a retort from slipping out of my mouth. My body started to relax after a while once she started to wrap it with gauze. "My father used to beat the hell out of my mother and I nearly every night. I'm sure hell would have been a better place. And during that time I truly hated my mother more than I hated my father. My father was a career alcoholic that was just echoing his past but my mother… weak and I vow to never become her. So, I ran away from home, but that shit followed me everywhere." Gemma stated matter of factly. There were tremors, no hate, no distant eyes. I winced internally at her confession as she applied the last piece of tape to the gauze.
"Though I had issues with my late husband, he gave me everything I never had. Slowly but surely that look you don't realize you have was replaced by missing pieces. Does that mean I forgive those pieces of shit? No, they can burn in hell for all I care, because you never get over some shit like that. You just get to a place of acceptance." Gemma said, cleaning up the mess and tossing it in the trash. "Whatever have you shaken, which I highly doubt it's about that irrelevant bitch, Chibs strong enough to bear it." Gemma said, then our pity session was interrupted by Chibs coming around the corner cautiously with Nyla in his arms. The two had that familiar knot in my throat to return.
"We've come in peace." He said, looking between Gemma and I.
Nyla lights up at seeing me, holding out to me. "Ma Ma." She said for the first time, making grabby hands to me, but I was in shock.
I got up on shaky legs, looking between the shock faces of Chibs and Gemma. I took Nyla from Chibs. "What did you say, Nyla?" I said to her, bouncing her on my hip. She giggled, but went back to her quiet self. She had played with my curls, burying her head into my neck.
It didn't take long for me to put down Nyla for bed, rubbing her back with a small smile. I lingered for a few minutes, reflecting on her babble. Maybe I misheard her and my emotions are playing tricks on me. I turned on her baby monitor, before leaving the nursery. I walked down the stairs to see that Chibs was waiting on me at the bottom of the stairs.
"You're ready to go?" Chibs asked, looking me over.
"I know the boys are about to play a round of poker. You can stay if that is what you want." I offered as Chibs helped me put on my jacket.
"No, I want to go home with you." Chibs said sweetly. I found it slightly amusing that he thought I was angry and was walking on eggshells.
"Ok, let me say goodbye to Donna. I'll meet you out at the truck." I said, before walking off to find Donna, who was sitting across Opie's lap sharing a beer. "Hey Donna? I'm out of here." I said, causing her to look up.
She rolled off Opie's lap to come over and hug me. "Are you okay?" she whispered before she pulled away.
l nodded my head, brushing at her shoulder. "I'm okay. I'm not even mad about that girl in general." I said.
"Well if it makes you feel any better, the boys really set Kozik straight after you left the dining room. Kozik really did feel bad about everything." Donna explained.
"Oh my God, I'm embarrassed." I laughed, shaking my head.
"Don't worry too much. They fight and argue a million times a week. So, Gemma was in the kitchen a long time with you. What happened?" Donna asked. We walked out to the porch. I pulled my jacket closer to me as chilly September weather was setting in.
"Nothing too exciting. It was a good conversation. Allow me to see another side of Gemma that I have to respect." I explained as I walked down the steps. "Anyways, let me get out of here so I can put Chibs out of his misery. See you tomorrow, Donna." I waved my goodbyes before I ran up to my truck and got in the passenger side.
Chibs glanced my way. "Got everything?" He asked as he reached for the gear shift.
"I'm good. Lets go home." I said as I put on my seatbelt. Chibs nodded while pulling into the deserted street..We were driving for a good ten minutes before Chibs had the courage to break the silence.
"Maddie isn't pregnant. And if so, it is not my child. I've never cheated on you. I know amongst the boys we have unspoken code about what happened on runs, stays on runs. I would never cross that line. " Chibs explained, intertwining our hands.
I remained quiet for the moment, watching the houses pass by. "Do you want more kids, Chibs?" I whispered, watching his reflections through the glass window. He looked over at me briefly, before putting his eyes back on the road.
"After I ran out of Ireland, I never really saw myself finding someone else and starting a family. I can see us having a kid far down the line." Chibs responded.
I felt my eyes start to sting as my heart started to race with anxiety. Everytime something goes in my life that fucking bastard finds a way to rain on my parade.
"Hey, what's wrong? Don't cry." Chibs said as I felt his rough, calloused thumb swept my upper cheek. My phone vibrated with a text message, 'Cali' name flashing across the screen. Chibs flipped my phone, obscuring my view. "I'm sure whatever it is can wait. Tell me what has made you so upset." Chibs pressed on, pulling into the gravel driveway. He put the car into park before leaning back into his chair, giving me his full attention.
"And what if I couldn't have kids? Would that be a dealbreaker in this relationship?" I asked, controlling my emotions. I hated being vulnerable, but it seems I'm falling for him. Chibs' hand found the back of neck to massage it, his thumb tracing circles behind my ear.
"No, it won't be a dealbreaker, Anissa. And if somewhere down the line you want kids, we can always foster or adopt. So… are you telling me you can't conceive?" Chibs asked tentatively.
"Yeah… I have had a lot of scar tissue from childhood. The scarring prevents the fertilized egg from attaching to the uterine wall." I explained fiddling with my fingers. Chibs scowled as this isn't the first time we talked about our childhood traumas. "We'll be okay, AJ. Come on, let's get ready for bed." Chibs urged, letting go of me. We got out of the car, Chibs waiting for me at the hood. I grabbed his hand, following his lead to the front door. "And the Maddie situation? I will handle it the next time I'm in Tacoma." He explained, pushing the door open.
"Is that the same girl that was all over you at the last party?" I asked, tossing my keys in the bowl.
Chibs winced playfully, wrapping his arms around me. "I was wondering when that was going to come up. I'll handle it." He kissed my cheek, before heading off to the kitchen. "You want some bread pudding? I'm throwing a piece in the oven." Chibs asked, looking over his shoulder at me.
I smiled at him, nodding. "Yeah, I'll like that. I'm just going to take shower." I said, feeling that familiar itch at my skin whenever I get to talking about my past.
Chib's POV
I looked over to see that AJ fell asleep across the bed, lightly snoring. I chuckled as I walked over to her side to tuck her under the covers. I reached into the bedside table, grabbing the familiar satin bonnet that was absolute nightwear and slipped it on to prevent from being woken up early in the morning from her grumbling. I hit the light, before slipping out of the room. I grabbed my phone off the counter to head out to the porch. I went to reach for my cigarettes until I remembered that I was trying to give up the bad habit per AJ's request. I huffed with irritation as I sat into the chair.
This wasn't the first time that AJ's childhood has come up and it has taken a lot of restraint to not act out of anger. I didn't want the club involved and there was only one other person that I trusted to get information. I looked at the time to see that it was 11:20, knowing it should be about 2:20 in the morning in New York. The man rarely slept, so I called him. The phone rang twice before I heard the familiar click on the other line. "Well… this is a surprise, Filip. Haven't heard from you in months. You would think we aren't brothers." Liam said.
"You could have easily called me as well, Liam. Unfortunately, this isn't a call out of pleasantries." I said. A cigarette sounded really good right now.
"Okay, what do you need?" Liam asked, getting straight to the point, which I can definitely appreciate.
"I need you to investigate someone for me and track an individual related to the situation. I have a hunch about something going down on my end." I explained, reflecting on all the shit that AJ has shared with me.
"What's the name?" Liam asked.
"Anissa Amethyst Johnson, born August 28, 1987 in Houston, Texas." I provided, peeking through the window to see that the bedroom door was still closed.
"That name… isn't that your girlfriend?" Liam questioned.
"Yes, this check isn't necessarily about her, but one of her abusers that is family related. She'll have a sealed file with the state and I just need the name and if you can track his last whereabouts." I said. A light rain started up, creating a humid breeze.
"You wouldn't happen to have her social security?" Liam asked.
"No, I could get it." I said, thinking of her binder that she kept all her important documents.
"If she owns any type of property, that'll work in helping me pinpointing AJ." Liam explained.
"She owns a house. 1111 Melrose St. in Vernon, California, zip code 00011." I said.
"This should be enough to start tracing her. Give me a few days to get this info. Anything else?" Liam asked.
"No, that's all. Thanks for this. I'll let you go." I said, feeling my fatigue settling in from the day.
"Before you go, answer this… what are your thoughts about first date flowers?" Liam asked.
That caused me to break into surprise as this conversation took a left turn. "Flowers? Did I hear you right?" I repeated, frowning at the question.
"Yes, I have a date later on and it's been awhile since…" Liam trailed off and I can hear that familiar tone anytime he went down that memory lane. "Anyways, roses or lillies?" Liam questioned, diverting the attention back.
"Roses are overrated and too bold. Do some white lilies mixed with a purple orchid bouquet." I recommend it.
Liam was quiet for a moment. "Duly noted. That's all I needed to know. Goodbye, Filip." Liam said before hanging up. I sighed before sliding the cell in my pocket.