Stereotomy 9!

Mrs. Fitzsimmons is NOT owned by dusner. The rest is.

Kimgo = Shego's mind in Kim's body

Shekim = Kim's mind in Shego's body

ALL CAPS = Rufus

"...yadda-yadda" = Usually Wade

Go back home you damn fool, surely you know you can't win

The mission had been a total bust. By the time they got to the main event with Shekim on Baboon (gah!) Island, the self destruct sequence had already been activated, and by Drakken to boot. Seeing 'Kim' for barely a minute, and in that old lady's body, had bummed Ron out, majorly. Kimgo, who SmartAirFrance did NOT let pilot the airliner either way (but thanked her again for the save of their 75th anniversary celebrations), wasn't happy either.

She did get to use her brilliant leprechaun line, but not the web-shooters that the Tweebs had come up with. She shuddered again at what those had cost her, twice! She still half suspected she'd seen them before, and NOT in a comicbook. But what was even more disturbing was watching the Doofus just walk right past all the henchmen, without them raising a finger? WTF? Did he pay them off? HAS he been paying them off? I mean, he must have money left from that Naco caper, but where the hell was my cut all this time? Am I not even worth being paid off!? This is even more insulting than Pumpkin not carrying any burn cream.

Ron got out of the Sloth and went into the Stoppable garage. He dropped his bag next to the washing machine (mission clothes get cleaned before going in the house). Turning around, he saw Kimgo standing there, in the garage, with him.

"Um, I usually take my mission clothes off out here, in the garage. By myself?" he hinted. But Kimgo had other ideas. Taking his arm she dragged him into the back yard.

And if it hurts when they mention my name

"Alright Stoppable, lets get in a little exercise before dinner. I'm getting rusty waiting for Greenie to throw down." She backed away five paces, raised her hands and waggled her fingers. "Come at me." I'll show you who you need to pay off, stupid kid.

"Seriously? We just got back from a mission." He looked up at the old treehouse. He'd like to climb up there and mope for about a week. Or at least til dinner. That mission had been one of the most rong-sick experiences, ever. He'd told himself that seeing her again, in that body, wouldn't be a big deal. He realized as soon as he did see her, that he was wrong. That was KP, and she, he thought looking at Kimgo, was not, waggling fingers notwithstanding.

"Yeah, where all we did was wander around. I want to see what this body can really do." She slapped her bare midriff with both hands, making a resounding smack. "And I want to see you in action, not just ducking and dodging." Ron looked away, feeling as if he'd rather be anywhere else. Too bad!

"Come on!" Kimgo put her hands on her hips, the universal sign of an exasperated female. "I know you looove her, but she's not-" Ron crossed the distance in an instant and landed a simple left handed punch to her right side just under the ribcage. A sort of kidney-liver combo shot. Kimgo, was down.

"That's ugh, better." Kimgo grunted from her hands and knees, "Forgot I'm not quite myself." Now on the knees and one hand. "Whooooo!" Shakes head. "Heh. Beat by the Doofus. I must be slowing down." She ran through more cliches, trying to recover. "Kimmie will never let me hear the end of it." She snuck a glance, the Doofus had not relaxed. "Hope this doesn't make Villains Digest." Now she was just on her knees and leaning back a bit. He was still tensed, ready for anything. She got up on one bended knee. Alright college girl, time for some psychology. "You never really fought her, did you?"

The question landed like a jab. Landed hard. "We, we never, really fight." They didn't, ever. Not even at any of the 13 or so martial arts schools she'd dragged him to. Had he really lost interest all those times? Or had he always bailed right before students were about to begin sparring, with each other?

Either way, it was the first time he'd struck Kim with anything harder than a pillow. This sucks, he decided. I can't do this. His hands were up, palms out, fingers spread, in the 'take it easy' gesture. "I'm...I'm not comfortable doing this, with..." The word 'her' (or was it 'you'?) went unsaid.

"You could have fooled me." A lame retort, sure. But she had something better coming.

"You're not Kim." He held out a hand to help her up, glad this was over. It wasn't.

"No," She took his hand and let him start to pull her up. "I'm NOT!" His half spin easily avoided her attempted knee to the crotch.

"Nice try, but I'm not THAT stupid." He claimed with a triumphant smile. Just in time to catch a face full of pepper.

Blinded, he backpedaled, too slow! Her flying kick caught him in the side, knocking him off his feet. Hmph. I'm used to that sending people thru walls. A follow-up stomp barely missed, but Ron was up and sprinting, blindly, toward the tree.

"TREE!" Kimgo yelled.

Ron stopped, his body automatically reacting to her voice. Kimgo's heel slammed into the small of his back. He stumbled forward, but didn't fall. She leaped over his spinning back kick, using his head as a platform, pushing herself toward the tree. Bending her legs on contact with the truck, she sprung back at him, fast.

But he was gone again, rolling in, well he had no idea what direction he was going, but if he rolled long enough he'd either hit the fence or the house. Then he could at least get his back against something. Kimgo growled and raced after him.

Hitting the fence, he popped up, hands out. Wooden Monkey. "Rufus!"

ZZZRNK-HUH?

"I need you to be my eyes buddy." Rufus came out of a pocket to see Kimgo almost upon them.

LOOKOUT!

I guess it was the fence. Good thing it wasn't the house, Ron thought, as he and Kimgo (Rufus bailed) went through it. They separated. Kimgo was too fast for him to grab onto. He got to his feet, still blind. Stone Monk-A blow from the left! To the back of the right knee, and he went down again.

He roared in a guttural, high-pitched, animalistic manner, almost hooting really, and was up swinging wildly, weaving, barely staying on his feet. Drunken Monkey.

Kimgo moved away, she did not want to get tagged with one of those. Not after what she saw in the weight room. Kimgo started bouncing. Comet Powers had never felt like this. Stick, hell! It was if she had a lightning bolt up her ass! She felt herself actually getting faster, getting stronger, more confident, becoming pro-active, becoming, PERFECT!

"I'm starting to see I didn't miss much all these times." Even her taunting seemed fiercer, yet subtler. "Guess Kimmie did have you figured out. Side...kick."

Ron stopped swinging. There was something, different. He still couldn't see, but he knew where she was, somehow, and he began to turn. Seeing him seemingly follow her voice Kimgo stopped talking. No more bouncing, now she was gliding over the Fitzsimmons' manicured lawn, circling silently, counterclockwise, but he was still following her. Kimgo stopped, reached down. A small part of the busted fence was in reach. She threw it. He batted it away without even turning his head.

Rufus, on what was left of the fence, chittered nervously.

MUST HELP BUDDY! BUT... The Queen was fighting! with Buddy? Before he could act, out of nowhere, tiny hands presented him with a small cutting board covered with...

CHEESES!

Frowning, Kimgo picked up two more fence pieces. She moved to her left, Dammit! He was still following her. Well, let's see how he handles multiple targets. She tossed one piece up in a high arc, paused, and threw the other one right at him. As soon as she saw him start to lift an arm up to block, she moved.

He seemed to be in slow motion to Kimgo, her palm strike was not blocked, but it didn't knock him down, neither did the shot to the head. He wasn't trying to hit her, again, but grab her and throw her. He got her shirt, but it came apart (Kimgo had weakened the stitching). Done with bouncing, now she was brawling, flat footed. Perfectly, that is. She was landing three blows for each time she had to dodge his attempts to grapple.

Still blind, and taking too much damage, Ron reeled to get away, Water Monkey. Kimgo didn't let up. Hip pointer! Another strike to the back of the left knee. Ron went down. In an instant, Kimgo was on his back. Sleeper Hold!

"TAP OUT!" she hissed. "It's over!" Like hell. His tears had finally cleared his vision, and now she was right where he wanted her.

Kimgo was straining to choke him out, sitting on his butt, pulling his spine back, trying to keep her leverage advantage. But Ron was getting up. Iron Monkey. He was on his feet, and Kimgo's feet now were dangling a few inches above the ground. Ron grabbed the bicep cutting off his air, and squeezed She screamed in pain. Pain like she hadn't felt for a long time. Her hold on his throat loosened, his other arm shot up. Putting his hand behind her head, he flipped forward. Kimgo was on the bottom when they landed.

Ron, who was not going for ground and pound, rolled away and popped up. Bamboo Money. Kimgo was back on her feet too, and she could see that Ron's eyes were now wide open. He swayed back and forth, but upright, not crouched, hands down at his knees, as if he needed no defense.

"Ready to get serious?" she asked while rubbing her bruised, and maybe torn, bicep. But otherwise she was fine. And anyway, she wasn't the one breathing hard.

He was. "Note, pant, serious, pant, face." Kimgo smiled and went in for the kill.

Ron moved backwards, dodging, blocking. Kimgo kept striking, but nothing landed. Dammit! This is like fighting her, but he's not faster than me, not NOW! Ron's head rocked back from the kick, but Kimgo did not exult in triumph. Ron had her ankle in his grasp. Stone Monkey.

She tried the first thing you always do, bringing up your other leg in a kick while trying to spin out of the hold. It didn't work, and now he had both her ankles. She was now essentially standing on her hands, facing away from him. It was the 5-H show all over again! But Ron was not doing the wheelbarrow routine. He started to spin and Kimgo's world began to move very fast.

HELOCOPTRRRR! Kimgo heard, and then, BLASTOFF! Stupid rat. Helicopters don't 'blast-off', she thought, right before she hit the water. Kimgo had landed in the Fitzsimmons' pool. Thankfully in the deep end. Ron was bent over, hands on his knees, dizzy. But he was still on his feet. He felt Rufus jump up and hug his arm.

WINNERRRR!

"Sure buddy. Never doubt the Ronster." He gave his buddy a familiar smile. The one he usually gave after a lair had been blown up. Was this what Shego felt like after fighting KP? No wonder she was so crabby.

HEYYY! Rufus frowned. Never doubt buddies.

"No, not you. Not you." I can always count on you. "Geez, better make sure she doesn't drown." He slowly headed toward the pool. And Kimgo had not drowned. She was already swim-walking to the shallow end. Barely waist deep by the time Ron reached the edge of the patio. As he stood waiting, about ten feet from the edge of the water, Ron's mind wandered. Hmmm, did they name the bean after the pool or the pool after the bean. No wait, isn't something else called a kidney?

"Give up?" Kimgo asked, standing on the pools steps, one step away from being out of the water.

"Who? Me?" Ron then noticed that about all of Kimgo's shirt that had survived so far, was the collar. "Whoa!"

NAKEY! Two tiny hands covered Ron's eyes.

"Uh, you may need to deploy your, backup shirt?" He suggested with a vague gesture.

"What?" Kimgo looked down. A lacey sheer white bra (What? She can't wear something that's NOT pink?) quickly becomes see-thru when wet. "Oh for goodness sakes. It's not like you haven't seen them before. And don't you have like a gazillion photos of em?"

"Will you keep your voice down!" He shout-whispered, pulling down Rufus' hands to take a quick glance over toward the Possible's house. Ok, noones outside. We're safe. Turning back to the pool, "And that has nothing to do with, WHOOP!" Blind Monkey.

Rufus, abandoning decency duty, ran over to the Fitzsimmons' laundry, drying in the sun. Climbed up the pole, ran down the line, released two clothespins, pulled up a garment and jumped, the cloth billowing to form a small para-glider.

"TURN-A-ROUND!" Kimgo was out of the pool, dripping, yelling and trying to get in front of the Doofus.

"NO! And you can't make me!" Ron insisted, spinning as best he could to try to keep his back toward her. He was still not very good at moving with his hands over his eyes. But hey, learn-by-doing!

"Don't get me started on what I can-What Are YOU Looking At?!" Kimgo screamed at Mrs. Fitzsimmons, who was just standing there, looking thru her patio door. She had never seen the Possible girl quite like THIS.

Something tugged at Kimgo's soaked pants. "Huh? Well, thank you! At least someone here isn't paralyzed by the mere sight of a woman's body." Rufus, work all done, scampered over to Ron, climbed up the teen and pulling a finger loose, gave him a tiny 'ok' sign.

Turning to peek, Ron saw Kimgo pulling on a t-shirt at least four sizes too big.

'Keep Calm and Eat Out', he read. "I don't get it."

"What?" Kimgo was tying up the extra shirt cloth in a side knot.

"The shirt." Ron said pointing. Kimgo looked down. Hah, that's funny. Funnier than the original, anyway. Course it wasn't much funny back in London when I was...Kimgo shook her head to bring herself back to the present.

"I'll explain it later." She pushed her now more 'drowned rat' than flippy hair out of her face. "Alright, now that your virgin eyes have been spared, shall we finish this?"

"Do we have to?" Ron really wouldn't mind stopping. Kimgo brought her left foot down on the patio with a crack, and with it, drew an arc of busted lilac and rose colored tiles.

"What do you think?" She smiled and put one hand forward, one back. A perfect stance to attack, or defend. Ron decided he was tired of reacting and rushed the redhead. I'll knock her back into the pool, and then...NO PEPPER!

He skidded to a halt as Kimgo brought a hand out from behind her back. But this time, it wasn't pepper. It was a small lip balm jar, with the lid off.

EEEEEP! Rufus stiffened and fell to the ground, clattering like a wooden Mole-Rat knick-knack.

"Oh geez. That stinks." Ron fell to his knees and then onto his face, out cold.

Kimgo, holding her breath, capped the jar. She walked several feet away before daring to draw a breath. She had no wish to smell that again. Wait, again? When did I ever smell it?

And if you laugh when they say I'm to blame

Ron came to, wet and sputtering. He looked up to see Rufus, Kimgo and Mrs. Fitsimmons, who had an empty bucket, all looking down at him. "Let's go honk kong phooey, Helen needs her yard cleaned up." Ron closed his eyes and let his head drop back down, ow.

"Cheap shot." he muttered.

"What?"

"You needed TWO cheap shots." he said, holding up two fingers on his right hand. Kimgo scowled and crossed her arms. This kid has a lot to learn. Might as well start now.

"That's the last time I want to hear you say that. No such thing as a cheap shot, and no such thing as a fair fight. Kimmie might not realize that. That gives us the edge. We'll use it."

"She's right dear." Mrs Fitsimmons agreed. "When my sister-in-law, Candice, when she came at me, I didn't pick up another bottle. I hit her with the mace!" That opened Ron's eyes.

"You hear that Doofus? From now on, listen to the ladies." She nodded to Mrs. Fitsimmons, who nodded back. "Alright, I gotta go eat. I'll bring the shirt back tomorrow."

"Oh, that's alright dear, say hi to your parents for me."

"You got it. Hey Rufus, why don't you come eat supper with me." She said, giving the Mole-Rat a ride on her shoulder. "Oh, and I want to show you these web-shooters the Tweebs came up with."

HUH? TWEEBS!? Tiny beady eyes narrowed.

First Posted June 7th, 2021

Dedicate one to the ladies, now summertime's here...