I don't think it's possible to communicate how long I've had part of this chapter written for. I wrote one of these scenes right at the start and had to keep backfilling the story to build to it, and finally I decided I just needed to get it up - hence the length of this chapter.
*.*.*
Now
Herrington, Kansas
*.*.*
It was a miracle. That's what the press was calling it, anyway.
Four boys, all a little dirty but otherwise fine, had come home. Some of 'em had been gone for months. And none of 'em were telling any stories about it.
"This stinks," Dean grumbled under his breath, narrowing his eyes at the spectacle taking place outside the Herrington Police Department.
Ellie hummed in agreement. "You gonna be okay out here?"
"You gonna be okay in there?"
She rolled her eyes at him. "I'll be fine. Go park around the corner or somethin' so you don't look as obvious waitin' around."
He looked affronted. "Baby is a classic. This is not a car shady people use."
"Apparently it is," she said in sing-song, just to watch him grumble. She grabbed the bag of recording equipment they'd hastily scraped together and opened the door, turning back to look at him. "How do I look?"
"Like a fuckin' nuisance," he said blithely.
"Perfect." She shouldered the bag and strode towards the station, slipping in behind a few people who were there for the same reason judging by the bulky news camera one of them carried. She sat in the second row, fiddling with her equipment and observing the cops who were muttering behind the podium. Press conferences in small places were always a circus.
Ellie tucked her freshly-dyed hair behind her ear - just in case one of the parents was lurking and recognised her - and dialled Dean, setting the volume down low. He'd be parked up listening too, seeing if he could catch anything. She'd ask questions if she needed to, see if she could figure out how baffled the cops were or if this was really some bizarre kidnapping case.
There were more people here than she'd expected. Evidently more than just the local rag had found out about this. She wouldn't be surprised if the families had tipped 'em off. It made sense, if you thought your kid had been abducted, to try'n get wider attention on it so the case didn't go cold.
Some detective - a sharp-eyed guy with a neatly trimmed moustache - introduced himself as Lomer and revealed almost nothing about what was happening. He skipped over the details, simply stating that the boys had been found.
"Regarding where they have been and what they have been doing, we do not have any information to share at this time," Lomer said. "This situation is unique and our priority at this time is making sure the boys are okay. We can say that thankfully, the boys have made it home safely and have been reunited with their families."
Translation: they didn't have shit to say, because those boys weren't talking yet.
"We ask," he said, glancing up from the paper he'd brought with him, "That in this time, everyone can respect the families' wishes to stay out of the public eye during this time. We will update the public as needed, should the need arise."
The woman beside Ellie scoffed quietly. Ellie looked at her out of the corner of her eye, noting down her appearance for later. If she was calling bullshit, maybe she knew something.
She disconnected from Dean and texted him instead.
This is a bust. They got nothing.
Her screen lit up a few seconds later. Case for the feds?
I'll let you know.
"We'll take questions now," Lomer was saying. When he shifted, she could see sweat patches under his armpits. Not as unflappable as he'd like to appear, then.
Ellie's hand shot up first.
"You," he said, pointing to her.
"Is there a connection between the boys who came back and Dion Adams?"
"We don't currently have evidence supporting a connection between the events," Lomer said.
She pressed on, pushing her luck. "But you don't have evidence ruling it out?"
"No, we don't," he admitted, surprising her - she thought he'd evade the question. "But the Adams case is an ongoing investigation and at the moment we are treating the incidents as separate, unless we find evidence to suggest they are connected. Next question?"
Someone else got the question and she sat back to listen, her eyes on Lomer to gauge his handle on the situation. He seemed somewhat shrewd. He was deft at avoiding anything that would confirm or deny big details in the case.
Which told her that they were very definitely treating this case as suspicious, or else they'd've just outright said that everything was fine.
The conference wound down with a general buzz of dissatisfaction - these folks were old hands in dealing with the police and knew they were being fobbed off, but there wasn't much they could do about it.
Ellie turned to her neighbour. "So," she said, "Whaddaya think?"
The woman sighed. "My guess is they're either clueless or sitting on something delicate." She glanced at Ellie's equipment. "No camera?"
"I'm here on behalf of a podcast network," Ellie said, falling back on her lie. "We're doin' some dives into little-known missing persons cases. Tryin' to generate new leads if we can get people listenin' to what happened. We were lookin' into this one as part of a bigger view and then…" She shrugged and gestured at the podium. "This."
"What's the network?"
"Exactly Right."
"Of course. True crime shit." She stuck out her hand to shake. "Sierra. What's your podcast?"
"Kelly. It's not released yet," she said, fiddling with her equipment to break down the bulkier parts. "It's called Last I Saw. It's just… somethin' we came across, that people kept sayin'. Last I Saw, they were doin' this or the other thing. Last I Saw, he was walkin' home from school."
Sierra nodded, some grim understanding crossing her face. "Right. Morbid."
Ellie shrugged again. "Whatever gets people talkin' about it, right? Gotta stand out somehow if we wanna get the word out."
"True." Sierra glanced down at her equipment again. "Are you recording now?"
"No, not without permission." Ellie tapped the recorder's plastic casing. "What're you here for, anyway?"
"I work for a local paper," Sierra said. "Sort of. Over in Salina, but we've been keeping an eye on this case too. How long've you been involved?"
"We did a lot of research before I came out. Shit's weird."
"Shit's definitely weird," Sierra agreed.
"Off the record," Ellie said, glancing around at the slowly dwindling media scrum, "I don't got a good feeling 'bout this. Why's one kid dead, and the rest look like they went camping for a week?"
Her chest throbbed briefly, sharply, like a hot sting on the skin. She lifted her hand to rub at the spot absently, trying to play it off.
"Off the record, I have the same feeling," Sierra replied grimly. "We don't see a lot of this stuff around here. All the towns around here… everyone knows their neighbours."
"I talked to the Stephenses, just before the boys came back." Ellie shifted in her seat, leaning closer conspiratorially. "They had no clue. No one they thought was fishy, no weird behaviour, nothin'. Tell me how a kid goes missin' in a place like Ramona, where everyone knows everyone, and the parents don't even have someone in the back of their mind who they think is shady."
"And the thing with the Adams kid-" Sierra's phone chimed. She glanced at it with a frown. "Shit, I gotta go but…" She rummaged in her purse a second and pulled out a business card, holding it out. "Just in case. I have a feeling this is all about to get a whole lot weirder."
"I'll be in touch," Ellie promised.
Sierra's gaze lingered on her for a second, assessing. "You hanging around?"
"For now, yeah."
She nodded. "Alright then. Just… be kind. This is a small place, and no one knows who you are. Things could get nasty if you push too hard."
Ellie glanced at the small knot of local reporters and cops still milling around, obviously familiar with each other. "Speaking from experience?"
Sierra shrugged. "Something like that. I'm sure I'll see you 'round." She gave another short nod and turned on her heel, bringing her phone to hear ear as she strode for the door.
Ellie tried to sneak over and chat to some of the cops next, but they all balked as soon as the subject got close to anything useful. She spied Lomer eyeing her thoughtfully and decided it was time to make an exit, before he got too interested in who she was and why she was there.
Dean had moved around the block and was sitting with the windows cracked, his same old rock music playing quietly. His sunglasses were perched on his nose and he looked asleep, but when she got closer to the car he perked up.
"How'd you go?"
"Still a bust," she said, swinging down into the passenger seat and shoving her bag at her feet. "No one looks like they're believin' what the cops are sayin' though. They're all waitin' for the story to come out."
"And the cops ain't saying anything."
"Nope, which means-"
"They're either hiding it or clueless," he finished,
She flipped him off. "I was gettin' to that, jackass."
He lunged over and ruffled her hair. She punched him hard in the arm, making him yelp in a very unmanly way he'd probably deny later.
"Always gotta take it too far," he grumbled not quite under his breath as he pulled away from the curb, the engine rumbling quietly as they coasted through town.
"You've gotten soft," she teased. "You can't handle a little hit from a girl anymore?"
He shoved her half-heartedly. "Shut it, kid."
She hummed and flipped open the glove compartment, hunting for the candy that Dean sometimes kept stashed in there. "I think we still need an in with the cops, but I dunno if they're gonna buy it."
"They have before."
"In 2005 maybe," she said, scoffing. "You know they ain't gonna take a badge for granted these days right? Head honcho is smart."
"Lomer, right?"
"Right."
"What's your read on him?"
"He's smart." She gave up the search and shoved the compartment closed again. "You sugar free again or somethin'? What's with the lack of food?"
"Calm down, Oscar, we'll get you some cookies soon." Dean glanced at her briefly. "Focus. Lomer?"
"He knows more than he's sayin', but not enough to make him happy," she said, sitting back with a pout. "He's not gonna buy a bogus badge. He'll look you up. He already looked suspicious of me, and I didn't even technically need permission to be there."
"He's gonna be suspicious of anyone who isn't local."
"No," Ellie shook her head. "I'm tellin' you, we won't be able to do it. Stick with the PI thing. We don't have time to get you outta jail if things go south."
"We do have an angel who can poof us outta jail."
"One," she said, "It'd only be your dumb ass in jail if you try be Mr FBI. Two, ain't he busy?"
Dean snorted. "Three, you'd cut off your arm before you asked him for help."
"I would not."
Dean didn't say anything, just letting the silence and his arched brows speak.
"Well," she grumbled, "Maybe a finger. But I'd let you ask. Which you won't need to, 'cause you won't be actin' stupid enough to go to jail."
"Alright," Dean said, surprising her.
She frowned at him. "Just like that?"
"Just like that." He switched gear as they left town, headed back to their motel to regroup. "Your call, kid. Don't make me regret it."
*.*.*
Ellie groaned, staring at the laptop screen again as if the words would rearrange themselves some way that made sense. As if they weren't already running into each other like fresh ink on a wet page.
Dean had gone out for food, and she was stuck trying to make loose ends thread together. Hell, they weren't even loose ends - there were gaping holes. They weren't just missing some key piece. They were missing half the board, and they weren't even sure if this was a case or not yet.
She shoved the chair back and stood to stretch, her spine cracking from being hunched over at the shitty table. She wandered into the bathroom to splash some cold water in her face, pressing the surprisingly fluffy towel to her face to pat away the droplets. It worked some. She felt a little refreshed as she came back in to glare at the computer from across the room, hands on her hips as she tried to get her mind to think of some angle she hadn't already considered.
Theory One - Something human had taken these boys, or they'd had some weird pact with each other to wander off into the wilderness at random intervals and kill their friend. Far-fetched, but she'd heard worse.
Theory Two - Something like shifters or djinn… something that could take boys and keep them for a while, then come back wearing their faces.
Theory Three - Something… else, that had somehow kept these boys in stasis. Maybe whatever it was, Dion had gotten free of it somehow. Briefly. Or maybe the other boys were the ones that had gotten away.
Theory Four - Demons, but possession really didn't seem to be as popular as it used to be.
They didn't know enough to follow any kind of reasonable logic, and it was driving her 'round the bend. Only one of those theories made some sense, and only partly, and only if they accepted that the boys who were taken weren't the boys who returned.
They'd need to test them somehow. See if they're clean. But how would they get close enough to do that?
Dean unlocked the door, freezing as he came in and caught the force of her speculative gaze. "What?"
She sighed and forced herself to relax a little, falling back to sit on her bed. "You're gonna have to go back to the Stephenses tomorrow and see if you can get close to their kid. Test him."
He shrugged, nonplussed. "I've done worse."
"They're gonna chase us out with pitchforks," Ellie muttered morosely, catching the paper bag Dean threw her way. She pulled out the sandwich and started chomping on it.
"What've you got?"
"Same as before you left," she said glumly. "We can only rule things out at this stage. If it ain't somethin' that reacts to silver or holy water, we're outta theories."
"Then it's probably not our area of expertise."
"You wanna leave after that?"
Dean took a moment to answer, swallowing his own bite first. "Not much more we can do after that, without more info. We've got bigger things to worry about."
She frowned. "You're the one who dragged me here. You're the one who said this stinks."
"And I stand by that. But we can't afford to be waiting around. Not with Sammy the way he is."
Ellie sighed again, dropping the rest of her sandwich back into the bag. "You're right. I just… this is why I don't do this anymore, Dean. These're people's lives we're playin' with here."
He shook his head, his eyes crinkling with something like amusement. "Naw. You've always had a bleeding heart."
"Do not," she said defensively.
"It's not a bad thing that you wanna help everyone," he said, crumpling up the paper from his own now-finished dinner. He'd wolfed it down in about three bites. "Just gotta accept that sometimes you can't."
"I don't gotta accept shit," she mumbled. "Fine. So tomorrow you try get the kid tested, then if there's nothin' here we leave."
"If there's nothing here, we leave," Dean repeated. "We've gotta focus on helping Sam."
She flopped back on the stiff single mattress with a huff. "I know. That's why I'm here."
They didn't bother sleeping in shifts - whatever was happening here, they weren't on any radar yet. Ellie huddled under the thin blankets and tried not to think about the many ways her life was going to shit.
It didn't really work.
Eventually dawn filtered in and she could stop pretending to sleep, so she got up and shoved her feet in some sneakers to get in a run before Dean rose too.
There wasn't much out this way - it was different to the not much in La Push or Forks, where every spare inch seemed to be forest or scraggly underbrush. Here everything was dry fields as far as the eye could see. The roads were straight as a pin and seemed to go forever. She eventually gave up and turned back. There were no real landmarks to make it to.
She was sweating in the hot sun by the time she hit the motel, brushing past Dean's watchful eye and hitting the shower before he could comment. She cranked the water as hot as she could stand it and tried to relax.
When she emerged pink-skinned and with wet hair curling around her shoulders, Dean was already dressed and ready to go.
"Breakfast first," he said before she could open her mouth and ask the plan. "You look like shit, so we're gonna get about a gallon of coffee in ya, and then you can wait in the car while I test the kid."
"Lovely," she said dryly. "Don't go holdin' back on my account."
True to his word, Dean parked her up with a big coffee and instructions to give him half an hour before she got worried. She sipped at the heavily doctored diner brew. If the caffeine didn't kick her into gear, the sugar surely ought to.
It still tasted vaguely burnt even three packets later. She'd given up trying to make it taste good and settled for drinkable, while it was still hot.
Her phone buzzed. She glanced at the number. It wasn't Sam or Dean, so she let it go to voicemail - anything else was either a cold call, someone who shouldn't have her current number, or Garth. All of those could wait for now.
Five minutes passed. Her phone buzzed again.
Sighing, she hit accept and lifted it to her ear. "Hello?"
"Girl, you need to control your man," Garth said without preamble, his usual chipper delivery frazzled. "He's been blowin' up my phone. Next time he calls I'm giving him your number, I don't care what you say. Heck, I'll give him your brothers' numbers."
What?
"My man?" Ellie repeated ineloquently, completely lost. "I don't have- what're you talkin' about?"
"Fella named Embry has been calling me nonstop," Garth grumbled. "And if it ain't him, it's one of his weird vampire friends bein' vaguely threatening. I don't care what kinda lover's tiff you're in, can you just take him back already so he'll stop calling?"
Ellie blinked. "Wait, what? How'd he even get your number?"
Then her brain caught up to the rest of what he'd said- "Wait, what vampire friends?"
"Vampires with deep pockets," he said with emphasis. "You sure can pick 'em. Listen, I'm just gonna give 'em your number. I can't have all these folks blocking up my phonelines."
"Garth, don't you dare," she warned.
Vampires with deep pockets. That must be the coven Jacob had talked about, the one they had some kinda treaty with. He must've called in some favours. With- shoot, maybe they were the Cold Ones-
It was all too much.
"I do not have time to manage your lovelife," Garth said snippily.
"It's not my damn lovelife!" Ellie near shouted into the phone. "I'm not datin' anyone, let alone Werewolf McGee. Do not give them my number. I will punch you so friggen' hard."
"You'd have to find me first," Garth sing-songed. "They're not hurtin' anyone, so they're not my problem. Have fun with that."
She swore. "Garth, don't-"
He hung up on her.
She tried to call back but he didn't answer. She swore again and thumped her head back against the seat in frustration. Now she really couldn't answer any strange calls.
She checked her watch. Ten minutes left until she had to go check on Dean.
How had they gotten Garth's number? They must've found the phone she'd been using and gone through the numbers until they found someone useful.
She wondered if they'd told Letty she was okay.
She flipped down the visor and a pair of sunglasses fell in her lap. She tried them on and pouted at her reflection, trying to emulate the smoulder that Dean denied he did when he was trying to woo someone.
They looked good on her. She decided to keep them.
Five minutes.
She peered out the window towards the house, nerves making her uneasy. What was taking him so long?
Her phone buzzed again. She ignored the call, silencing it and letting it go to voicemail. She couldn't get distracted now.
Two minutes.
"Damn it, Dean," she muttered, pushing the sunglasses up on her head. She got out of the car and surreptitiously checked the comforting weight of her gun against her hip, covered by a flannel shirt that wasn't entirely appropriate for the heat.
She tucked the keys into her back pocket and snuck up to the house, bypassing the front door in favour of sidling up to the windows. She didn't see anything in the sitting room; they should've been in there, if they were just talking. She silently kept on, heading for the back to check out the kitchen.
It was empty too.
She tried the door - God bless small towns, it was unlocked and swung open without so much as a creak. She reached a hand down and drew her gun, unnerved by the stillness of a house that should have at least four people in it.
She moved quickly, quietly, on soft feet between rooms to clear them.
Nothing. Nothing.
Think, Eleanor.
She went back to the kitchen and looked out the window. No structures or anything to hide in, so it wasn't likely they'd gone out that way. They had to still be in the house. She turned in a slow circle, assessing-
Her eye fell on the pantry doors.
They were big, probably deep. Painted a nice fresh white, with a grimy layer around the bottom suggesting they'd had a cat or something that liked to rub up on 'em.
What if they had a cellar?
Quick, quiet - opening the door and stepping inside the pantry. It was much larger than it looked from outside, filled with enough dry goods to survive months - and it had steps leading down into what must've been a root cellar.
If they were waiting at the bottom, she was risking an ambush.
If she didn't bust in, she'd lose Dean.
She squared her shoulders. Easy choice.
The stairs were concrete, so she didn't have to worry about creaks - she stayed low and kept her gun trained and her ear cocked. As soon as she's able she crouches low to peer as far as she can into the little room.
Dean is lying on the floor - unconscious, she hopes, because she doesn't want to think of the alternative - all trussed up like a turkey. The Stephens kid was crouched by what looked like the remains of Mr Stephens. He wasn't… eating him, but he was doing something that looked like it was killing him.
Mrs Stephens was still alive and conscious, and her panicked eyes caught Ellie at the top of the stairs. She held a finger to her lips and slowly crept down another step, her gun aimed at the monster consuming Mr Stephens.
Dean groaned, making her freeze. He was alive then.
Thank Christ.
She held steady as the thing lifted its head from Mr Stephens to look at her brother. He barely glanced at her when he lifted his head, but she felt relief like a blow to her chest.
Dean was okay.
"So," Dean rasped. "Crocetta. Haven't come across one of you in a while."
"You won't come across me again," the thing - the crocetta - promised.
Ellie went to step down again-
Against all odds and despite the fact she'd damn well put it on silent before she came in here, Ellie's phone began to buzz loudly in her back pocket.
The crocetta's head snapped to her and it dropped the body of Mr Stephens.
"You," it hissed. "You were at the police station."
A chill went down her spine. How'd it know that? The boys had been well away by the time she'd got there.
"Of all the things you could've chose," she drawled instead of showing her confusion, "you went for a teenage boy? C'mon."
It smiled at her with inhumanly sharp teeth, reminding her suddenly of other monsters that made her shudder and almost made the gun waver.
"Stab it," Dean said urgently from the floor. "It's eating souls. Kill it now."
"Hush," the thing said dismissively. "You're not interesting anymore. I want her soul."
"You wouldn't be the first," Ellie muttered, wondering just how shiny and tempting her damn soul was at this point.
It cocked its head, considering. Then it charged.
Ellie flinched and shot reflexively - it went wide as the thing surged towards her, and she was forced to duck and move away.
This fucker was fast and she barely managed to avoid the hands grabbing for her, half-falling over the side of the steps to escape the grasping reach. She landed awkwardly and rolled away instantly as it came after her again.
She knelt in a flash and shot true this time - not that it slowed the thing down much, it kept coming after her in the limited cellar space and she was running outta ways to stay away.
"Dean!" She shouted, "How do I kill it?"
"Impalement through the spine!"
She cursed and was forced to block a swing instead of ducking it - but that was what the thing wanted, and before she could draw back it had latched on instead of hitting out and threw her to the floor. It scrambled on top of her, pinning her and kneeling on her chest to punch the breath out of her.
Shit shit shit shit-
She couldn't even breathe but she could still fight a bit, had to, so she clawed at the soft parts of the thing's face. It howled and reared back. She twisted and bucked, fingernails scrabbling as she fought to dislodge the thing but it was so heavy, so strong-
And then it howled again, only it wasn't because of her - Dean had gotten out of his bonds and driven something through the spine. Blood gurgled and the thing slumped on top of her, making her cry out.
"Shit," Dean cussed. The weight disappeared from on top of her and she was being pulled up from the floor, and someone was crying…
Oh. It was her.
"Ellie. Ellie," Dean said loudly, grabbing the sides of her face to make her look at him. "I need you to hold it together. We're not done here."
She clapped her own hands over her mouth to keep the noise in, nodding wildly because of course, of course, there were still the other boys they had to go find and test. She couldn't be losing her shit now, they had work to do.
Saving people, killing things.
Dean went to Mrs Stephens and untied her, leaving Ellie to stare at the disturbingly human body slumped on the cellar floor while its blood cooled on her shirt.
*.*.*
They were gone before dawn. Before cops could ask questions. The surviving family all agreed to a story of the boys going crazy somehow, trying to kill them - it was the truth, in a way, and they had defensive wounds to prove it.
She was so tired.
It was in her bones, a kind of deep fatigue that came after being awake and on edge for too long. She'd sleep some tonight, no matter what dreams she had. Hopefully none at all.
Ellie couldn't help but think about Lomer and his watchful eyes, and whether he'd be able to sleep when nothing added up. He didn't seem the type to leave loose ends be, but he wouldn't be able to find a conclusion he'd believe either.
"Are we gonna talk about it?"
She kept staring out the window. "No."
"I think we have to."
"We're not talkin' about it because nothin' happened," Ellie said sharply.
Dean let it go.
For a second.
Then he thumped the steering wheel. "Damn it, Ellie, you choked!"
Ellie thumped her head against the window, wondering if she could knock herself out. She'd had that many concussions over the years, surely it'd be easy to manage.
"You could've had it down before it even went for you. Did you even bring a knife?"
"Dean, leave it be."
"You could've had it," he repeated firmly. "There's no way you didn't have a shot to slow it down. You've taken harder ones before."
"I know."
"I told you to stab it. I told you and you hesitated."
"I know that!" She shouted, turning in her seat to glare at him. "You think I don't know I fucked up?"
"You could have died, you idiot," he snarled. "I'm not losing you like that. If you can't work, you shouldn't be here!"
"You made me come along! I didn't even wanna be here!"
"I thought you could handle it!"
For a moment, neither of them said anything. Dean's shitty rock tape played into the void.
"I can handle it," she said petulantly.
"No," Dean said, jaw clenching. "You're a fucking mess and if I can't trust you on a hunt, I sure as shit can't trust you to help me'n Sammy see this through."
She scowled. "Bullshit. You need all the help you can get."
"You're not helping if you're pulling punches!" Dean suddenly braked hard, swearing. The tyres screeched as they bit.
"Jesus, Dean," she hissed as the seatbelt jerked her back. A cat scurried off the road and she frowned.
Huh. Did he really stop for a cat in the middle of nowhere?
Her shoulder gave a dull throb, like it wanted to reprimand her for being in a fast car that slowed quick. She ignored it.
"Stupid freaking cat…" He jabbed his finger in her direction. "You're gonna tell me what's going on with you and you're gonna tell me right now."
"Nothing's goin' on," she grumbled.
"Then why are you putting yourself in danger on a hunt, huh?"
"I'm not-"
"Bullshit," he snarled. "I've seen you take on bigger bads than that without breaking a sweat. You're gonna tell me you've gone soft?"
"It got the jump on you too," Ellie pointed out.
"I wasn't standing there with a weapon drawn!" Dean's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothin'."
"Don't lie to me-"
"Dean Winchester," she said, dropping her voice all serious in a way that made him wince, "don't go pokin' your nose into somethin' that doesn't concern you. I choked. Move on, or don't include me next time. Those're your only options. Choose."
"Kid, you're not taking this seriously-"
"Choose," she repeated firmly, glaring right at him.
He looked away first, staring out the windshield with his jaw clenched for a long moment. Then he eased the car back into gear, the engine a comforting noise as he started driving again.
She didn't know exactly which he'd decided on. She had a fair idea, she mused as she rested her head against the window again. Dean needed all the help he could get. He'd move on from this before he'd actually make her stay home.
She didn't even wanna do shit like this. She just wanted to help Sammy.
They pulled into a gas stop for food a while later and he still hadn't said a word to her, so she got out and made sure to slam Baby's door real hard behind her. She moseyed into the store and grabbed a handful of snacks. She wasn't that hungry anyway.
The bathroom was calling, so she hurried that way too once she'd shoved her candy in the car. Her shoulder was burning something fierce now and she was half convinced one of the things had somehow stabbed her without her noticing.
Once she had the door locked behind her, she quickly yanked off her shirt and turned to the mirror to assess the damage.
And stared.
And stared some more, because she couldn't be seeing what she was seeing.
"Well, shit," she said faintly.
*.*.*
She snuck out onto the roof when Dean and Sam were pretending to sleep. The stars were bright out here. They were far enough from any big lights here that she could see the smaller flecks between constellations. She took a big lungful of muggy air to settle her nerves.
"Castiel," she said quietly into the night. "I need your help with somethin'."
She didn't have to wait long in the sweet air, on the still-warm roof, before she heard the familiar sound of wings. She shut her eyes briefly out of habit, the brilliant flash of Grace staining her eyelids red like a camera flash would've done.
"I didn't think you'd summon me again," Castiel said.
She opened her eyes. "Nor did I, but here we are." She didn't have to look at him to feel him staring at her, curious. Always so curious. His coat rustled as he settled beside her - not too close, but close enough that she could reach out and touch him if she wanted. She didn't. She drew her knees up and tucked her arms around them instead.
They sat in silence for a minute while she worked up the courage to say what she needed to say. She could practically hear his mind whirring as he tried to verbalise something he was thinking.
"Eleanor," he started, haltingly, concerned- "Have you made a deal?"
That got her to look at him, her head snapping around so she could glare. "Castiel! Hush your mouth. Who d'you think I am? Dean?"
He frowned. "You're… different. It's very disconcerting."
"Of course I'm different, Castiel," she said, exasperated. "A lot's happened."
"Not your physical you, although you do look… tired," he said, his gaze just slightly out of focus with her features. "You. Your soul, Eleanor. You're different from when I saw you last."
She pressed her lips together tightly, exhaling through her nose. So this thing ain't just skin deep, then.
"I need you to help me," she said slowly, reluctantly. "Believe me, if there were any other way, you wouldn't be hearin' from me. But you're the only one I…" Ellie stopped, because she couldn't say she trusted him, not fully. "You're the only one who can maybe see what I see."
Castiel looked wary. "If it's something only you can see, we may have a bigger problem. Who's been bothering you?"
Has Heaven found you again?
"Not any of the usual suspects," she said. She took another deep breath, grounding herself with the smell of the overgrown grass below. "Don't go gettin' too excited now," she warned.
She yanked her shirt up and over her head, pulling down her bra strap a little so he could fully see her shoulder and the pattern illuminating the skin. It started over her clavicle and spilled down between her collarbone and her shoulder, nestled where the muscle gave way to the softness of her breast. Almost over her heart - just a little further up.
It looked quite pretty, shining like it did. Naturally, she was scared to death of it.
Castiel hissed in a breath between his teeth and looked at her sharply. "You're sure you entered no deals?"
"None," she confirmed.
"May I?" His hand hovered near the mark. Ellie swallowed, gathered her mettle; and nodded, jumping slightly and hating herself for the way her tense muscles almost instantly relaxed when Castiel's Grace raced over them.
He traced the details, pressing his palm to it entirely at one point. He closed his eyes and Ellie looked away when he flared brighter, the buzzing where their skin met growing more intense. Finally, Castiel withdrew his hand. The mark felt oddly hot - almost angry, like he'd irritated it. Not the sharp pain it'd had when she'd been driving back.
Ellie shrugged her shirt back on immediately. "So?"
He looked shaken - an odd sight on an angel who was often frustratingly unflappable. "You've been claimed."
She gaped at him, alarmed and certain she'd heard him wrong. "Excuse me?"
"You've been claimed," he repeated. "Or… claimed isn't the right word. Found?"
"By who?"
"Ancient magic," he murmured. "Older than most in this world. I've heard of it, but I haven't seen it before, not in person..."
Ellie shook her head, still not understanding. "What're you sayin'? What does this mean?"
"It's… complicated," Castiel said, staring at her shoulder as if he could undo the mark by will alone. Perhaps he could, back before - well, before. "There's a word for things like this, in Enochian, but the meaning is hard to translate into anything you would understand."
"Try," Ellie said flatly.
He thought a moment, his head tilting like it always did when he was tryna place something. He said a phrase she couldn't understand, something that made her head sore when she tried to place the syllables - Enochian, she'd guess.
"It's part of you," he said at last. "It's not new. It may have always been there, but… dormant."
"Well that's clearly wrong," she snapped. "This just happened. Are you gonna help me fix it or not?"
Castiel's eyes flickered up to meet hers. "Eleanor," he said reluctantly, "This isn't something someone has done to you."
"Whaddaya mean by that?" Ellie demanded.
"If this was forced on you, there would be a void or a tear where your soul had to change to accommodate it. This is like… a birthmark that wasn't visible until now." He hitched one shoulder miserably. "I wish I could explain more. It's not something I've seen myself, only something I've heard of."
"No." She resisted the urged to rub the mark. "This ain't right. What else could it be?"
He frowned at her. "You're hiding something. What aren't you telling me?"
"Nothin' you need to know," she sniped, scowling right back.
Silver, silver -
Fur, darkness, teeth -
Her gun firing, Embry falling -
Embry. This was clearly his fault.
"You know what this is."
Her head shot up and she saw Castiel's gaze fastened on where she was gripping her elbows to stop herself pressing on the mark.
"You know why this happened," he repeated. "But you won't tell me. Why?"
Her lips thinned. "Castiel," she warned. "Stop analysin' me. It ain't cute."
He stared harder at the place the mark was under her clothing, as if he could somehow carve it out with his gaze alone. "You're surprised by what it means. But you're not surprised it's there. Not really."
She shifted uneasily. "Stop. You're bein' ridiculous."
Finally, he looked her in the eye again. "Eleanor, what happened in Washington?"
And he sounded so concerned.
What happened in Washington?
"Nothin'," She protested. "I shot a guy, you came and got me. Standard stuff."
"Where did you shoot him?" He spoke in a hushed tone, as if she would break, as if he cared she would break and she hated it but it grounded her a little anyway-
She took a deep breath to try and calm herself. "Castiel, what does that have to do with anything?"
"It was on the shoulder, yes? Because you missed his heart."
You missed.
Ellie opened her mouth to lie, but he gave her a look that told her he wasn't gonna buy anything she tried to sell.
Her shoulders slumped.
"Fine," she muttered. "Yes, it's the same place, and I've known somethin' weird's happenin' for a while. The mark only showed up while I was on a hunt. I didn't know who else to ask." She sighed. "I don't even know if anyone else can see it, or if it's just because I'm… well… me."
"Ah." Understanding flickered across his face. "You thought it might have something to do with your abilities."
"I don't even know what they are, Castiel."
"I do," he said quietly.
Ellie felt a horrible twist in her stomach, the kind she usually tried not to think about. It was something like fear, and maybe guilt.
Definitely a little guilt.
"You're very extraordinary, Eleanor." He reached out, his fingertips hovering just a hair's breadth from her face. "I can show you how. If you want."
The gravity of the situation made her mind stutter for a second, and she was tempted to say yes - to let him in and finally get some answers.
"I don't wanna talk about it," she said instead.
She drew back and squeezed her eyes shut, her knuckles pressed tight to them, counting to ten and trying not to give in to the sinking feeling that she was losing the plot completely.
One, two…
Sam and Dean needed her. She needed to be strong for them.
Six…
Keep it together. Just a little bit longer.
"The person you shot," Castiel said, breaking the silence after a moment. "Who was he? An important man to you?"
"No," Ellie said, fudging things just a teensy bit. She didn't really wanna tell her once all-powerful ex that she made out with someone else while he was possibly still in Purgatory being chased by monsters. "He's… we were almost friends, I s'pose. Why?"
Castiel stared at the stars for a moment, his brow furrowed like he was thinking some complex problem through. "If it's the same spot, you may be connected," he said eventually. "It's part of you, but it's still a claim nonetheless. A way to bind the soul."
Well, she'd thought it might be something like that. She blew out a long breath to buy herself a second to think, to make it seem like she hadn't suspected that.
"But if it was always meant to be there, it can't be a bad thing," she said. "Right? I'm not… I'm not seein' things, or coughin' up blood or whatever. I'm fine."
He shrugged helplessly. "Eleanor, we don't know the implications. Have you noticed anything else?"
"Like what?"
"Any changes," he said. "Anything you can think of that you wouldn't do normally."
"Nothin'," she said, shaking her head. "Just this stupid mark. And... I keep havin' dreams about it happenin'. About shootin' him… but that was way before the mark."
"Dreams," Castiel repeated thoughtfully. "May I see them?"
She thought back to some details of the dreams she'd been having and shook her head again, grateful for the dark to hide the blush she could feel heating her face. "No, they're just bad dreams. You don't needa go pokin' around in my head."
"It could help, if there's a significance to them."
"It could make it worse," she said. "You just said we don't know what's happenin' here. What if you set somethin' off?"
"I'll be careful," he promised. "Eleanor, you know your safety means everything to me. Let me help you with this."
She knew he meant it. She knew he wanted to help, wanted to prove himself to her again. But if this was something to do with the wolves…
Well, his last solution to that problem had been attempted murder. So had hers, but that was beside the point.
"I don't know that you can," she said, picking at a loose thread on her cuff and turning away from his gaze. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't've called you. This was a mistake."
He shifted slightly, his coat rustling. "You can always call me. You know that."
"I know I can." She shrugged helplessly. "I just… I shouldn't've done it."
"Why not?"
"Because it gives you hope," she said bluntly. "And that's not fair."
They sat in silence for a moment. She could feel his mind whirring as he sat beside her, the quiet comfort of his Grace warm and glowing like a nightlight in a shadowy hallway.
Ellie cleared her throat. "I think… I think I gotta make a phone call."
He frowned, concerned. "To who? The wolf? He's dangerous."
"So am I." She shrugged. "He's human shaped most've the time. And he's gotta have answers about this weird… thing."
I think. I hope.
He peered closer at her. "You're... curious," he realised. "About him. Aren't you?"
Ellie scoffed, her heart stuttering a little at the implication. "He's a non-werewolf werewolf. Of course I'm curious."
"No, that's not it," Castiel said, looking at her intently. She tried to school her expression, hoping she'd gotten better at lying to him since he last scrutinised her. Hoping that he'd forgotten how to read her.
"You're curious about him," Castiel repeated. "Eleanor, you… do you want him?"
She snorted. "No. Christ, I knew him like- a week. But it seems like somethin' big is telling me I've gotta go back that way, even if it's just for answers."
"There's answers here. Questions you won't ask."
I have answers here, she knew he was saying. I can help. I can be what you need.
But she didn't want the answers he had. They opened dangerous doors to shadowy places.
"I'm not- I'm not leavin' until Sammy is sorted," Ellie said, her palms starting to sweat a little at the turn in conversation. "That's why I'm here. Not for- not for that."
"You're more powerful than you think. It could help."
"It could ruin everything," she snapped. "I know that might be- you might find that acceptable, apparently you did before-"
"Eleanor, that's not what I meant-"
"Then what did you mean?" She challenged.
"Eleanor," he said in that grave way he had. "I would protect you with everything I have. And this is a way you can stay safe, from them, from me-"
"I tried to stay away from you this whole time," she interrupted, that awful feeling in her gut returning with vengeance in the face of his vulnerability. "Why can't you just stop?"
"Because I love you-"
"I love you, but you never said it back properly, and now it's too late!" Ellie snapped, tears stinging the corners of her eyes from the old hurt. "You just said it now because you… you're scared I'm gonna leave for good! That ain't love."
Around them, the night was stilling. The bugs and birds seemed to hold their breath, sensing something dangerous in their midst. Even the breeze from the day had died down completely, leaving just the quiet to hold her hurt.
"It is," he argued, his jaw set stubbornly. "I love you."
"You don't," she said weakly. "You can't. You just… want what you can't have."
Because didn't he always?
He reached out and took her hand, folding it between his where she could feel his Grace humming. "I love you. Even when I wasn't myself, I knew that to be certain."
She stared at his hands around her own. "You used me. You brainwashed me to stay, and you used me and I had to find out from Dick Roman."
"Yes."
Her breath caught painfully at his bald admission. She jerked her hand back as if stung.
She swallowed a hard lump in her chest. "Why'd you think you ever could've loved me, if you treated me like that?"
Castiel settled back from her, allowing her space, though she could feel him tracking every minute movement she made.
"I'm not a good man," he said quietly. "I made a worse God. I didn't want to lose you again, so I used you to further my power. It made sense to me then. It doesn't now."
"And lovin' me makes sense?"
"No," he said, completely without guile. "It doesn't make sense at all."
She scoffed. "Well, at least we agree on somethin'."
Silence fell like a heavy blanket once more, cloaking them in cloying quiet. Ellie tilted her head back to look at the stars again, just to give herself something else to focus on while she tried to get her thoughts sorted.
Castiel drew his knees up a little. "I won't force you to be with me, if that's what you're afraid of."
"Not again, right?" The bitter words tumbled out before she could stop them, leaving a sour taste on her tongue.
He bowed his head. "No. Not again."
She'd found a nail in the roof, sticking up a little. She traced the blunt iron now for something to focus on. "Then you've got no reason to chase this. You know how I feel."
"I do," he said softly.
"And you think you can change my mind," she guessed, her mouth twisting into a grimace. "You think there's some kinda chance for us to be together."
"You said you love me."
She closed her eyes briefly, cursing herself for being stupid and slipping up. Giving him something to hold onto, again. "There's all kinds've love. I'll always love you somehow, but we don't work together." She blinked her eyes open again and glanced sideways at him. "Do you understand what I'm sayin'?"
He shook his head mutely.
Ellie turned to him. She bit her lip and hesitantly stretched to brush her fingertips against the back of his hand, like she had so many times before. He let out a shaky exhale at the contact - the first time she'd reached for him in a long time.
He probably thought it was some kind of progress.
How did she make him realise that the person he loved didn't exist anymore?
"I'll always love you," she repeated, real soft into the hush of the night, holding his gaze to make sure he took in her meaning this time. "But I'll never love you the same way I did then. I won't. I'm sorry."
She couldn't see him properly in the dark to read the minutiae of his reaction, but she could guess at it - the furrow of his brow, the absolute openness of his blue eyes as he processed every emotion in real time. She let go of his sleeve and sat back, feeling oddly hollow.
She shouldn't be sad about this. It was the right thing to do.
He cleared his throat after a moment, dropping his gaze to stare at his arm where her fingertips had been, as if she'd somehow singed marks on there.
"I…" He wet his lips, tried to speak again. "I… I need to go."
He was gone before she could even shut her eyes, blinding her momentarily as the rush of his wings filled the air. She blinked the spots out of her eyes and sighed, flopping back on the roof in an ungraceful slump.
Well, that went well. Now she had an extra mopey ex and a weird soul bond to contend with, and no clue to do about either one.
*.*.*
Then
The Lab
*.*.*
"Don't you want to know what you're capable of?"
She jerked against her captor again. "I'm capable of plenty of shit once your pal lets me go. Wanna see?"
Dick patted her cheek, withdrawing his hand sharply as she snapped at him. He chuckled. "I know you want to know. We've been through all this before, in a way. I wonder…" He tilted his head to the side consideringly, a disturbingly Castiel-like mannerism. "I wonder if we really did take all the memories, or if you're just that scared of your own power."
"I ain't scared," she snarled.
"Of course you are," he said consolingly. "You're a lot like us, you know. All that power, hidden in plain sight. All that rage. Delicious. I'd eat you up if you weren't going to be so useful."
Something in her gut lurched at the comparison. "I'm not like you. I'm not a monster."
"But you are," he insisted.
She felt the hair on her neck stand up and just about wept with relief. Castiel was here. And if Castiel was here, the others were here somewhere too. She just had to keep Dick distracted, keep him talking.
"It won't work," she said desperately. "Whatever you're gonna try'n have me do. I won't do shit for you."
Dick scoffed. "You won't have a choice, sweetheart." He wandered over to the trays and picked up some creamer, examining it idly with his back turned. "We'll keep you complacent and fat. You'll do whatever I tell you to. You'll be happy to do it."
Her senses hummed and she knew without a doubt that Castiel was standing behind her captor. She bucked and bit his arm, earning a split second's surprise where she dropped like a stone to the floor as a blade thwipped in the air above her.
The Leviathan's body dropped, head rolling grotesquely. Ellie's stomach churned and she lifted her gaze to see Castiel and Dean. Castiel reached a hand out for her to help her up, taking stock of her.
"A little abrupt," Dick commented idly, seeming entirely unsurprised. "But okay. Castiel, good to see you again. Thanks for the ride into paradise. And for…" his eyes slid back to her, making her shudder and scurry to stand, to get away from the black goo leaking out of the other Leviathan. "Other treasures."
Beside her, Castiel tensed. She stepped closer to him, her skin crawling as Dick's eyes flicked up and down her form.
Dean pulled out the bone.
"And good on you!" Dick said, his eyes flicking to the object. He didn't look concerned. "Pulling that together? A-plus."
"Oh, you don't think this'll work, do you?" Dean stepped over the body of the other Leviathan. "You trust that demon?"
"You sure I'm even me, Dean?" Dick asked, eyes glittering.
"No," Dean admitted. He jerked his head at Castiel. "But he is."
Castiel stared at Dick stonily.
"See, here's the thing about Crowley," Dean continued. "He will always find a way to bone you."
Dick, still worryingly unruffled, stepped forward. "This meeting's over." He reached out for her, clearly intending to brush the others aside. "Come on, sweetheart. We've got other plans."
Three things happened very fast.
First, Castiel surged in front of her to stop Dick.
Second, Dick threw Castiel across the room.
And third, Dean plunged the sharp end of the bone directly into Dick's chest.
Ellie's breath caught as she waited, the world suspended on a string and her focus narrowed to Dick Roman's face as he glanced down at his chest. Dean staggered back.
The string snapped. Dick reached down and pulled the bone out, snapping it between his hands like a matchstick. Ellie felt her heart drop through her feet.
No. NO. He couldn't win, he couldn't-
"Did you really think you could trump me?" He snarled.
Behind him, Castiel stood.
"Honestly? No," Dean said, reaching into his jacket once more-
Ellie's eyes widened, realising-
Castiel reared up and grabbed Dick's hair, pulling his hair back-
Dean slammed the real bone home in the Leviathan's neck. "Figured we'd have to catch you off guard."
The doors banged open, Sam and Kevin bursting in and halting at the scene before them. Sam's eyes were frantic, and he made to stride over to where Ellie was.
"No!" Ellie cried, flinging up a hand to try and halt him. "Stay back!"
Dick screamed in agony, his face switching nauseatingly between teeth and his regular human disguise. Something pulsed, going through Ellie like a shockwave and making her stumble.
Something was happening, something else, something bad-
The pulsing kept happening, a steady roar in her ears that she couldn't hear anything through as she watched Dick Roman in horror.
Get away get awaygetawayGETAWAY-
But Dean was still in front of her, and Ellie felt like she was moving through molasses as she reached for him. For Castiel, who had once again saved her and who stood similarly frozen.
With a sadistic smile, Dick Roman exploded into black goo.
Something else exploded out as well and Ellie screamed, instinctively bringing her hands up to shield herself. Time slowed again.
Something in her snapped and she could feel everything.
The huge, gaping void that was once Dick Roman threw itself out and hooked around everything it could, jagged edges scraping painfully over something more sensitive than skin as it retracted and dragged her with it.
NononononoNONONO-
It
sank
down
to
her
soul
and
tried
to
pull-
It felt hungry, starved and wild like the Leviathans themselves - alive, grasping and determined to take her-
And Dean. DEAN.
She slipped as she reached out blindly into the greedy void to find her brother - she wasn't sure if she was actually reaching, if she had hands anymore or if she was all terror and desperation as she searched for flashes of DEAN in the dark.
She felt for leather and motor oil and you're gonna be okay, kid and-
She couldn't find him, and the hunger was still drawing her inexorably closer, barbs in her soul-
Dean was gone. The truth slammed into her cruelly and lost her precious ground as she staggered under its weight. She might have been screaming. She couldn't tell. She cast around desperately for anything to hold and-
Something else was fighting against the hunger. Something warm and sure and strong.
Castiel. He was strong enough to- he could survive this, he could make it right, he always came back-
She could feel him, strong, planted firmly like an ancient tree, keeping his ground where she lost hers inch by inch.
She was going to lose.
Desperately, she reached for the light of his Grace to anchor herself- anything to hold her back against this-
She caught it. His Grace slid over her skin and burned out the teeth burrowing there, reducing them to a dangerously strong tide instead of barbed wire coiling tighter around her.
And as she found her feet, as she used his strength to bolster her own-
She felt Castiel slip instead. Felt him start to struggle.
NO. Not him.
She had to let go, stop using his Grace or he'd end up- he'd be-
But if she stopped-
Something like Dick Roman's oily voice laughed darkly in the back of her mind, enjoying the torment as it gnawed at her.
She couldn't stop. She'd be dead. She'd-
I'm sorry-
She was selfish, wicked and selfish but she just wanted to live and- and surely he owes you this, a voice whispered darkly.
The void heaved once more-
And then it winked out of existence, like it had never been there to begin with.
Dean and Castiel were gone.
*.*.*
Hope you liked it. Leave a review if you're feeling kind.