Now that the flashback has concluded I will now direct you back to the normal timeline. Which is, in case you have forgotten, approximately 17 minutes after the first day of school had officially ended.

Perhaps you will recall that Aizawa was in the middle of a conversation with Midoriya, the first half of which had pertained to his quirk and the unfortunate lack of info in his file. If you did not recall this then I hope you do now, seeing as how I just told you.

"The second thing I wanted to discuss is your hero costume," Aizawa said.

"Oh! I think I might know what the issue is."

"Thank goodness. I was worried that you were just going to go ahead with this without talking about it with a teacher."

Midoriya laughed. "Definitely not my intention! I just totally spaced the fact that I should probably see what your thoughts are before we actually have to use costumes tomorrow."

"I think that would be wise."

"Super wise."

The two sat in silence for a moment, neither knowing how to start the topic.

Now fun fact, both Midoriya and Aizawa were aware of the fact that they both were thinking of the same thing but neither was aware that this awareness was actually false and that they were in fact, thinking of entirely different things.

However, this did mean that they were still better off than you are now, not being aware of either thing they were thinking about. I know of course, but seeing as how I haven't told you yet it is impossible for you to know. You are most likely wondering why I haven't done that by now. The answer is something called suspense. It is a feeling that one gets after being led on and expecting to receive some form of a conclusion and you might be feeling it right now. I do however understand how such dramatic effects can be considered to be quite annoying and I despise being seen as rude so I will now continue this retelling and hope that you do not hate me now.

"So…" Midoriya said awkwardly after a moment. "I guess I was hoping you'd be okay with how my costume was actually sewn by my mother. Obviously, I'll eventually have to get a school-supported designer to redo it with high-quality material but I was hoping I'll be able to wear it for the time being."

"Wait. You're worried about being able to wear the costume your mother made?"

"Yes?"

"Midoriya… that is NOT what I needed to talk to you about."

"No? That's good, I really wanted to wear it and- wait, not good. What DID you want to talk to me about?" Midoriya said in confusion.

"Yes well, it's really not a problem that your mother made it, no, I wanted to talk to you about the equipment you asked the support course for."

"Oh."

Ironically, 'Oh' was all that Aizawa had said upon seeing the list himself.

"I have a few… issues with some of the things." Aizawa looked back at the paper and cleared his throat. "Let's start with this one: a razor in the collar of the outfit which, and I quote, 'can fly into my jugular when I push one button or fly out at my enemies if I push a different button.'" Aizawa looked at Midoriya who shifted awkwardly in his seat. "WHY?! Using it on villains, okay, I can see that, but why on Earth would you have an option for it to go into your own throat?!"

"Well. You see. I can't feel pain."

"Yes. I am PAINFULLY aware of that fact. However, that does not answer my question. What if you hit the wrong button by accident?!"

"I can assure you that I would be fine."

"You would DIE."

Midoriya shrugged.

This was very concerning to Aizawa who did not like the implications of a student shrugging after being told they would die. He decided to just ignore that and continue. "And that's not it! Cyanide pills in the pocket of your utility belt? What do you even plan on doing with those? Shove them down the throats of villains? Because that would be very very difficult and also very very illegal."

"I have no plans to give them to villains," Midoriya answered.

"Then who-"

"Me."

"What."

"Any other issues or is that all?"

"Is that all- NO. Of COURSE, there's more!"

"Alright let's hear it."

"Wiring in the interior of the costume that essentially makes you into a human taser?!"

"So that when I touch the villains they'll get electrocuted!" Midoriya said happily. He was actually quite proud of that one.

"Yes but so will YOU."

"Can't feel pain," Midoriya reminded.

"But-"

"Can't feel pain."

Aizawa sighed. "And then- A gun? Really Midoriya? You really want a GUN?"

"Yes."

"NO!"

Midoriya rolled his eyes. "Snipe gets one. Why can't I have one?"

"It's part of his quirk!"

"Mine too…" Midoriya muttered.

"What."

"Um. So my healing. I can do it but there are certain requirements..."

"Do I want to know."

Midoriya pointed at the paper. "Gun."

"Gun?"

"Gun."

Aizawa did not know how to respond to this so he simply moved on. "A canister of knockout gas." He raised his eyebrow. "Which, while it might be useful against villains I feel the need to reiterate that it would also affect you."

"Oh! That one I actually have a good reason for!" Midoriya said excitedly. "I can't pass out!"

"WHat," Aizawa said. "I literally saw your unconscious body during lunch."

Midoriya thought back to that day's lunch in which he had killed himself in a public bathroom. "Oh, you saw that…?"

"YEAH I SAW THAT."

"Well, I can promise you that I was not unconscious," Midoriya answered honestly.

"Then what-"

"Anyways, it's already been approved so I don't think you can do anything about it."

"Who the hell approved this."

"All Might!"

"Of course." Aizawa buried his head in his hands. "Why wouldn't he?" He looked back at Midoriya. "PLEASE tell me you at least have good insurance so the school doesn't have to pay for your inevitable demise."

"Actually most insurance companies stopped working with us a few years back."

"Why am I not surprised? That's only rational."

"Yeah… something about too much collateral damage. But it's fine! My mom's a lawyer so it's not a problem."

"Too much collateral- you know what? I don't want to know."

"Can I go now? I'm going to the Bakugou's for dinner."

"Please." Aizawa waved a hand. "Just leave."

Midoriya did.

"Nedzu, I'm going to die," Aizawa said as he walked into the principal's office without so much as knocking, which was very impolite but also understandable considering the situation. "I am quite literally going to die."

"I take it you've acquainted yourself with Midoriya?"

"He can't feel pain."

"I'm aware."

"And you didn't think to tell me?!"

"You found out eventually didn't you?"

"Yes, after using my quirk on him and causing half the class to think I had the ability to cause excruciating pain at any given moment."

"Keep them on their toes I always say," Nedzu said.

"He attacked another student."

"He and Bakugou are on good terms. I'm sure no real harm was intended."

"He broke over a dozen bones just today."

"And healed all of them as well."

"He wants a GUN," Aizawa was nearly pleading.

"I've already verified his permit."

"He- he passed out in the bathroom and was foaming at the mouth?"

"Yes, about that, why didn't you check to make sure that he was okay?" Nedzu of course was well aware of the events that transpired earlier that day because of his constant monitoring of the cameras. He also was not concerned considering he knew about Midoriya's quirk but it was still a little strange to watch the teacher simply leave the dying boy.

Aizawa rolled his eyes. "Please. This IS a crackfic, even I can't be rational all the time."

The two sat in silence following Aizawa's declaration.

Finally, he spoke up once more. "Can I get a raise?"

The principal dissolved into a mess of maniacal laughter. The crazed sounds stopped abruptly as Nedzu looked up and stared directly into Aizawa's eyes. "No."