"I'm just saying that if I ate a bear that would make me the ALPHA consumer," Bakugou said adamantly as he and Midoriya walked to the school.
"Oh no, I totally get it, just keep in mind that eating a bear might be illegal."
"When has that ever stopped me?"
"Touche."
"Anyways. Lemme know if you find a bear."
The two boys neared the school and were about half a block away when Midoriya paused and looked at some bushes. Actually, he was looking into the bushes, not at them.
"Uraraka?"
Uraraka, who seemed to be hiding in the aforementioned bush, turned and shushed Midoriya.
"The fuck are you doing round-face?"
Iida, who was also buried in the bush, stuck his head out and also shushed them.
"Iida?!" Midoriya asked, surprised.
Both Iida and Uraraka shushed him very loudly. So loudly that it was in fact louder than the sound of Midoriya talking which was kinda stupid.
"Shut up! You're going to blow our cover!"
"Uh, what cover?"
Uraraka rolled her eyes. "We're hiding!"
Midoriya looked around. He saw nothing out of the ordinary. "...From what?"
"Them," Uraraka said ominously before pointing to the front of the school.
Midoriya and Bakugou looked at the wild herd of reporters she had indicated.
"Uraraka, those just look like some harmless reporters."
Iida began to laugh hysterically. "Harmless?! Those are the most dangerous invasive species known to man! Observe as they hunt the native student!"
The children watched as Mineta approached the gate, presumably in order to get to class, they all gasped as he was swarmed by dozens of reporters and their camera companions. The boy struggled against the tide but was overtaken by the sheer numbers and ferocity shown by the creatures. His shrill scream rang through the area, carrying over even the sound of nearby traffic and interrogative well-dressed journalists.
Finally, his shouts died out abruptly and the reporters slowly dispersed back to wandering around the gate.
Mineta was nowhere to be found.
"Oh shit," Bakugou said, stunned.
"You see why we have to hide?!" Urarka asked.
"I mean yeah," Midoriya said. "But like, we have school. I don't think Aizawa will accept fear of cameras as a valid excuse."
" 'Sides," Bakugou said, continuing Midoriya's argument. "We'll have to get used to this type of thing for once we go pro."
"While I agree that attending class is a noble goal, one cannot simply waltz through a pack of hungry reporters!" Iida said.
"Well not without a distraction you can't," Midoriya said.
"You don't mean-" Uraraka said, worried.
"Don't worry, I've dealt with reporters before. I'll be fine."
Midoriya had in fact dealt with reporters before. This is because there had been several times he had accidentally died in public and caused a bit of an uproar. Typically a reporter had come by in order to cover the event and Midoriya found that if he talked to the reporter as if he was simply a bystander then he was less likely to be recognized as the actual person who had died.
Iida wiped away a tear. "Your sacrifice will not be in vain."
"Kacchan will make sure you two make it past the stragglers safely."
"Like HELL I will-"
Midoriya glared at Bakugou.
"FINE. You extras better carry your weight though or I'll leave you behind."
Satisfied that his friends would make it to class safely Midoriya turned and with a bounce in his step, walked right up to the journalists.
"What a fool," Iida said softly in a mixture of awe and fear.
"You there!" The reporter thrust his microphone into Midoriya's face who didn't so much as flinch. "Tell me what it's like being a student of UA!"
Midoriya's face split into a huge grin. "I'd love to!"
"Wha- you would?!"
"Absolutely! In fact, I'd love to tell EVERYONE here ANYTHING they want to know!"
The reporters perked up, smelling blood. They surged forward and converged around Midoriya, each one asking a different question.
"What year are you?!"
"How is All Might as a teacher?"
"Is it true that Nedzu and Midnight are in a secret relationship?!"
"Why the hell are you covered in glitter?"
"Tell us about the Symbol of Peace!"
Midoriya held up his hands. "Hold up! One question at a time please!" He looked over the shoulders of the crowd and made eye contact with Bakugou. He subtly tilted his head.
Bakugou took the hint and led Iida and Uraraka, sneaking around the perimeter of the gathering reporters. He let out a few small explosions to deter the lingering pests who hissed at the light, much like vampires.
These specific reporters were not actually vampires. I'm sure that some reporters are but these ones weren't, they were just typical press parasites. Nothing more.
The three students made it to the gate without any real opposition and watched as the gate slammed behind them as a man got a little too close.
"Oh man, I thought we were dead," Uraraka said in awe. "Thanks for the help Bakugou!"
"Whatever."
"Will Midoriya be alright? I am concerned that he might cease to exist after this encounter," Iida said.
"As if the bastard would ever give me the satisfaction of leaving this realm."
That, it seemed, was good enough of an answer for Iida.
The three children walked into their classroom to find it almost completely empty.
"Hey, Blackeyes!" Bakugou yelled at the only other student. "Where the fuck is everyone else?"
"Probably stuck hiding from the reporters," Ashido said.
"If you don't mind me asking, how did you make it through?" Iida asked. "We only managed upon utilizing Midoriya's brave sacrifice." He sniffed. "My apologies, I'm still emotional about the whole situation."
"Easy! I just answered their questions!"
"You talked to them?!" Uraraka asked in shock.
"Sure! All they wanted to know was about All Might. I told a couple of them about that hero training exercise we did and then excused myself to go to class."
"What did you tell them about it? Reporters only let you go after getting juicy information," Iida said.
"Oh, I just told them how he's a sadistic monster that enjoys watching children get blown up and pitting them against their friends in battles to the death."
Iida, Uraraka, and Bakugou were quiet for a solid minute.
"whAT." Iida eventually said, chopping his arms frantically in a spastic fit.
"...was that bad?" Ashido asked hesitantly.
"Is this about the situation with Midoriya?" Uraraka asked.
"You don't get it!" Ashido said. "It was scary! He was getting all exploded and All Might was all like 'exploding will make you a great hero someday!' It was terrifying!"
Bakugou rolled his eyes. "Please. The bitch was fine. I don't see what the big deal was."
"Can we please not sully his memory so soon after his passing?" Iida said, tearing up once again.
"The fuck, four-eyes?! He ain't even dead this time!"
"... 'this time'?" Uraraka asked suspiciously.
"Oh shit." Bakugou paled. "Er, I meant yet. He ain't even dead yet. Yeah. Cuz this time implies that he's died before. Which he hasn't. Because he's alive."
"Oh alright. That makes sense," Uraraka said, stupidly accepting the poor excuse.
Bakugou let out a sigh of relief.