AN: Okay, guys I just want to start off by saying thank you for the reviews and thank you for the support, and the criticism, I want to apologize for my mistakes. I did see I made a lot of mistakes in the first chapter, I actually fixed it and tried to post the updated version but it still showing up as the one with a lot of mistakes, I apologize on my behalf for that. Im not perfect by any means and I don't claim to be, I just want to write and give you guys something to enjoy, and I hope you guys enjoy this
Am I the reason for all of this...
Did I cause the accident...
Am I the reason Matt's Dead...
I immediately went to my phone again. I had to figure out what happened to Matt. That text message that he sent me, didn't make any since. MYITFAD...What does that even mean, and why was that the only message between us. This was bizarre and nothing was adding up. I probably looked like a complete spazz in front of Stefan. After school I saw Bonnie waiting for me at the car. I frowned immediately when I saw her.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked her sister, looking at her accusingly.
By Bonnie's reaction you could tell she already knew what Phoebe was referring too.
"I thought maybe if you would see his locker or see the chair he sat in or seen a football uniform, memories would come back, but I can now see that was wrong and I'm sorry." Bonnie quickly apologized. "The doctor said not to have this conversation so soon with you, but you were so adamant about coming to school so I really didn't know how to break it too you." She admitted.
Phoebe bit her lip. "What happened Bonnie...?"
"It was raining and you were at the bonfire party...with Matt and others, I don't know the specifics but the police said the car lost control and ended up in the lake underneath Wickery bridge...no one knows how you made it out, they said it was a miracle, but I am grateful everyday that you are here Phoebe, losing Matt hurt, but losing you...I don't know If i could swallow that pill." Bonnie told her and it almost drew tears to her eyes. She never had any one speak of her that way before, someone who was sincere and actually cared about whether she was alive or not.
Bonnie noticed the silence and spoke up again. "Come on, let me take you somewhere." She said before helping her sister to the car.
Soon after Phoebe found herself near the grave site where Elena use to come and write in her diary and talk to her parents. Bonnie helped her sister get out the car and walked her to Matt's grave. Bonnie looked at her sister, observing her. Mostly hoping her memory would come back to her. "Were we close?" Phoebe asked her sister finally speaking up.
"Yes." Bonnie admitted.
"I'll leave you too it." Bonnie said giving her sister some space and walked back to the car.
Phoebe looked down at Matt's head stone. "Always in our thoughts, forever in our hearts" It read. Phoebe couldn't understand why she felt so touched by this person she never even met before she only watched him on TV, but the fact that he was dead wasn't sitting right in her spirit. Phoebe herd a branch break behind her and immediately jumped.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Elena said coming next to Phoebe. "I come here almost everyday..."She admitted.
"How was the funeral?" Phoebe asked Elena.
"It was beautiful, he was celebrated." Elena told her.
"Elena I am so sorry." Phoebe said to her trying to hold back tears.
"What are you sorry for Phoebe, this wasn't your fault." Elena told her trying to assure her.
"How can you be so sure?" Phoebe asked her.
"You weren't the one driving" Elena told her.
Phoebe hated that she felt a weight lifted from her shoulders immediately after Elena said that.
Phoebe looked back at Matt's grave. "I hate the fact that I cant remember." she admitted to Elena.
"Don't beat yourself up about it." She told her. "We'll get through this, most of all because I have my best friend back." She smiled a little before giving Phoebe a hug.
Then there moments gets immediately interrupted by a crow cawing at them. Phoebe mind went to Damon.
"Get out of here shoo!" Elena said trying to get the bird to move away from Matt's stone.
"Come on" Elena said helping Phoebe back to Bonnie's car.
Its been a couple of weeks and Phoebe could finally walk on her own with no problem. On the season they made it seem like days past but to be actually in this universe living day by day, it was definitely drag for Phoebe. None of the fun stuff has actually happened yet. As the time went on, Phoebe realized it was Elena who got her into writing in diaries. As it was Elena's mom that her into writing hers.
Elena and Stefan were getting close by the second. Phoebe knew it was because she looked like Katherine, but eventually they'd fall in love with each other, so Phoebe really didn't feel the need to intervene. She probably didn't have the power too, since it was inevitable. Phoebe was still skeptical about Damon, she knew he was kind of evil in this season. She was kind of happy they haven't crossed paths yet. She didn't know how she would react to being in his presence. He looked so intense on tv, so she could only imagine how he was up close and personal.
With Damon being back, there were a lot of people coming up dead on the news. With the bonfire being dedicated to mourning Matt's death, it wasn't at all how it was on tv at the end of the first episode. So Vicki didn't end up in the hospital like the original story. Phoebe and Elena were becoming really close, Phoebe found out Elena was very codependent of her, especially since she started talking to Stefan. Elena didn't want anyone to know so soon that she had moved on from Matt, since it was a small town and people talk.
And since Stefan had been so occupied with Elena she never really had a chance to talk to him about what happened that night he saved her
Phoebe herd an alarm clock go off and groaned. "Elenaaaaaa" She whined.
"I know I know" She said before hitting the snooze button.
Five minutes later...
*Beep* *Beep*
"Elena I'm going to kick you" Phoebe said annoyed.
"We have to get up or Jenna's going to come in and mom us again." Elena mentioned.
Elena parents were alive. Phoebe guess her interference with the story line actually saved Elena's parents. But even though they were alive, they never seemed to be around, just like Bonnie's father as well. Thats probably why Elena always wanted Phoebe to come over and spend the night with her, lately they've been going to school, staying after for cheerleading practice, (which Elena was helping Phoebe get on track with the cheer steps) then coming back to the Gilbert residence. Which then Elena would be on the phone with Stefan for hours while Phoebe and Jeremy play the game downstairs, and usually around 2:30am Elena and Phoebe would say up until 4am talking about everything, the past, boys, sex, anything. This was becoming the new normal for Phoebe.
In the show, Phoebe didn't like Elena very much. But being around her in this universe, she found it really comforting she could be herself around her, well as much as she could possibly be, given the circumstances.
You could tell they were very comfortable around each other, since Phoebe was the only person out of there group to know the details about Stefan. Phoebe was kind of getting use to being in this universe, having friends, people who actually care about her, and who knew being a cheerleader could be so fun.
"Okay, okay, I'm getting up" Phoebe said before walking over to the bathroom that was connected to Jeremy's.
She didn't think twice about opening the door.
Her eyes were barely open.
"Ah!" She herd Jeremy say.
She opened her eyes wide when she herd Jeremy scream and when her eyes went lower she could understand now why he was so startled.
Phoebe's eyes went straight down to his member, that was, well if she had to say, pretty impressive. She could see Jeremy cheeks turn red. But she still couldn't work up the courage to say anything. Jeremy covered himself with his blue towel and cleared his throat, snapping Phoebe back into reality. He quickly excused himself leaving Phoebe there still stocked.
"Do I look adult? As in respectfully parental?" Jenna said walking up to Phoebe and Elena.
"Depends on where you're going." Elena said.
"You look like a hot teacher Jenna" Phoebe said with her mouth full of Captain Crunch.
"Jeremy's parent-teacher conference. Hair up or down?"
"Whats going on with Jeremy?" Phoebe asked ignoring her hair question.
"Sexy stewardess." Elena said when she puts her hair up.
"Boozy housewife." Elena said when Jenna put her hair down.
"Up it is. You're feisty today." Jenna comments. "Does it have something to do with those late night phone calls?" Jenna asked causing Elena to blush.
"Whats his name?" Jenna asked.
"How do you know its a guy?" Elena said trying to play it off.
"Because I know my niece."
"Hello?" Phoebe said drawing attention to her. "Whats going on with Jeremy?" She repeated.
"Jeremy got caught with pot on him." Jenna said. "I'm doing him a solid going to this conference while your parents are out of town." Jenna told Elena and Phoebe.
"You can't keep bailing him out of trouble Jenna." Elena told her.
"You don't think I know that?" Jenna sighed. "I told him this was the last time" Jenna said.
"Good, now where is the brat?" Elena asked.
"Probably headed for the hills after that little bathroom incident. Elena you never told me your brother was packing." Phoebe said causing Elena to throw a grape at her. "First of all, Ew!" She said causing Phoebe to laugh.
"He left early. Something about getting to wood shop early to finish a birdhouse." Jenna said, and as soon as she said it out loud, she realized it was a lie.
"There is no wood shop, is there?" She asked Elena.
"Nope." Elena said sipping on her coffee.
"Freaking Brat." Jenna commented before heading out the door.
Both Elena and Phoebe looked at each other for a brief moment before laughing at Jenna.
While in Tanners class Phoebe couldn't help but roll her eyes at Stefan and Elena practically eye fucking each other. Caroline though, on the other hand, couldn't stop looking at Elena and Stefan during class.
She threw a paper ball under neath Phoebe's chair and gave her a stare to let her know to read it.
Phoebe sunk in her chair and acted casually when Tanner turned his back to them she quickly picked it up. 'Elena and Stefan?! DETAILS!'
Phoebe bit her lip and wrote back to her underneath the paper 'There just friends' She said knowing she was lying through her teeth.
She balled the paper ball back up, and peeped back at Tanner and soon tossed the paper back at Caroline under the desk.
Phoebe could hear Caroline scoff and ball the paper back up forcefully.
She threw the paper ball back at Phoebe 'Since when do we lie to each other Phoebe Bennett?'
Phoebe sighed feeling like she was stuck between her loyalty to Elena and her loyalty to Caroline. She bit her lip and wrote on the paper
'Okay ,there dating!...DONT TELL ANYONE! Not even Elena, she'll kill me.'
Phoebe said before she could give the paper back to Caroline she didn't notice a shadow lurking over her.
Mr. Tanner cleared his throat. "Passing notes in my class Ms. Bennett."
Phoebe bit her lip. "It was a question about the assignment." Phoebe said trying to quickly cover up.
"Question about the assignment." Tanner repeated.
Caroline quickly nodded her head in agreement.
"Since it was a question about the assignment I guess you wont have a problem reading out in front of the class right Ms. Bennett?"
Phoebe froze, this teacher was way scarier in person than in TV.
Mr. Tanner noticed the hesitation in Phoebe and quickly took the note from her, and read everything the note in front of the whole class. Caroline cheeks turned red and couldn't work up the courage to look at Elena. Phoebe suck lower in her chair and felt bad that the secret between her and Stefan got out on her behalf.
Phoebe felt like Tanner got off on embarrassing his students.
"You guys could have warned me how much of a dick Tanner was." Phoebe said sipping on her coffee while her, her sister, Caroline, and Elena sat at the grille outside. "studying" but more like gossiping. To Phoebe surprise Elena wasn't mad at her that the secret between and Stefan got out so soon, she told her she kind felt free now.
"I tried to tell you." Elena said while shaking her head.
"No one in his class ever got an A." Caroline mentioned. "And I get As"
"So when am I going to get car, I mean all this chauffeuring services is nice and all but I need my independence" Phoebe mentioned to Bonnie.
"You have to talk to dad about that, although I'm not so sure he'll be willing to give you one so soon." Bonnie said to her referring to the recent car accident she was in.
"I could probably do some witch voodoo to change his mind" Phoebe joked.
Bonnie giggled while Caroline rolled her eye still not believing them about the whole witchy thing Grams told Bonnie and Phoebe about last weekend. Phoebe tried to see if Grams could help her with her memory loss, but Grams said there was nothing they could do, since they did everything they could for the past three days to get her memory to come back.
Suddenly, all the chatter went away, Phoebe looked up and she saw Vicki standing at the table with her pin and paper, Phoebe almost forgot she was a waitress here. "Hey...Phoebe " She said very hesitated.
"This isn't your section." Elena mentioned.
"I know I just wanted to speak to Phoebe." She said to everyone.
"Hey Vicki? Do us all a favor and get away from this table." Caroline said, in a very threatening tone. Vicki again once looked at Phoebe who looked at Caroline confusingly, there eyes met and Vicki shook her head and left.
"What the hell was that about?" Phoebe asked the girls.
"That girl is bad company to keep." Bonnie said.
"Yeah, hopefully she got the hint." Caroline add
Phoebe bit her lip and looked at Vicki who looked back at her, and she could see how sad she was. Phoebe couldn't understand why they were so mean to her after she lost her own brother three months ago.
"You and Stefan talked all night? There was no sloppy first kiss or touchy feely of any kind?" Caroline said snapping Phoebe back to reality.
"Nope. We didn't go there." Elena admitted.
"Not even a handshake? I mean, Elena, we are your friends. Ok? You are supposed to share the smut." Caroline told her.
"We just talked for hours." She told her.
"OK, what is with the blockage? Just jump his bones already! Ok, it's easy. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, sex!"
"Maybe because she just lost Matt Care." Phoebe said, not realizing she was bringing up a sensitive subject.
"I thought with her being with Stefan she's ready to move on Phoebe I didn't mean anything wrong by it." Caroline said to her.
Bonnie cleared her throat."Where are you going?" She asked Elena.
"Caroline's right. It is easy. If I sit here long enough, I'll end up talking myself out of it instead of doing what I started the day saying what I was going to do." Elena said.
Phoebe got up from the table "And where are you going?" Bonnie asked her sister. "Stopping Elena from being peer pressured by Caroline." She said before following after Elena.
Bonnie stared at Caroline with an accusing look. ""You see what you did?"
"What?" Caroline asked Bonnie while looking around as if she didn't do anything.
"I honestly don't understand why you are here Phoebe." Elena said honestly.
"Elena, you don't need to listen to Caroline, you not having sex with Stefan is not going to stop him from wanting to get to know you, he's not that kind of person." Phoebe said to her "I mean, he doesn't give off that vibe." She tried to quickly cover up.
Elena bit her lip. "Yeah but, she's right, its been a long time Phoebe, he probably thinks I'm boring." Elena said.
Phoebe shook her head. "Or he probably understand you just lost your boyfriend a few months ago and is okay with taking things slow with you, thats how you know when a guy is really into you and not what you can do for them, guys like that are hard to come by." Phoebe said to her.
"Wow Phoebe" Elena said shocked at her friends words. "Yeah your right, I should just turn around and go back home" She said walking away from off the boarding house door.
Phoebe thought they were in the clear before they herd the Salvatore door entrance open.
"Was the door open before?" Elena asked Phoebe.
"Yeah I don't know, nor do I plan on finding out, lets go..." Phoebe said grabbing Elena's arm to leave.
"Stefan could be in danger Phoebe" Elena said to her.
"Okay Elena, say maybe your right" Even though Phoebe knew for a fact she was not. "What are we going to do? Fight the bad guys with hair spray and my math textbook?" Phoebe said being sarcastic.
"You and Bonnie can't stop talking about being witches, from salem, just blast him with your witchy powers." Elena joked.
"It doesn't work like that Lena, I'm like a rookie to this witchy stuff" Phoebe explained to her.
"Lets just make sure, he's okay, then leave." Elena assured her.
"Okay, fine." Phoebe said giving up, noticing she was not going to be talked out of going in this house.
She could fill a pit in her stomach. She knew who would eventually show up. But she easily got distracted by how nice the house looked.
"Stefan!"She herd Elena say.
"Elena not so loud." Phoebe said getting nervous
"Well then how is he suppose to here me Phoebe?" Elena said.
Phoebe bit her lip, noticing Elena's valid point.
"Look heres his bag from this morning." Elena said pointing out Stefan's school bag sitting on the red chair by the door. "Stefan?" Elena called out again while Phoebe followed her.
"This is so way past trespassing" Phoebe commented.
She felt a wind rush past her and looked over at the door being wider than it was before. "Elena..." Phoebe said again before a crow flew inside making Phoebe's heart jump inside her stomach. She turned around to get Elena and her the hell out of here but before she could she bumped into a hard figure. She was face to face with those blue eyes. She saw a small smirk on his face, his head tilted a little as he looked her up and down. She thought being in Stefan's presence was intense...she found herself being lost for words, his eyes went to the both of them and smiled friendly. 'What do I owe the pleasure?" He said
"Um sorry, we're just here to see St-Stefan" Phoebe said as she didn't realize she still was holding in her breath.
"I'm sure he'll be here soon" Damon sensed the hesitation between both girl. "You must be Phoebe, and Elena" He said to them.
"Oh where are my manners. I'm Damon. Damon Salvatore, Stefan's older brother" He spoke. Still looking Phoebe up and down intensely. Phoebe noted that Damon was not about to intimidate her. She gathered her composure and tried her best to not be bothered by his presence.
"Nice to meet you Damon" She said to him.
"Stefan never told me he had a brother" Elena mentioned.
A part of Phoebe wished she would have done more to stop them from going inside because she knew Stefan wouldn't be too happy with them prying inside of his private life.
Damon walked them in to the parlor, and it was more beautiful in person than it was on the show. She couldn't help but compliment the house. "This is really beautiful." She stated looking around.
"It's a little kitschy for my taste." Damon stated
"Yeah you seem more like the modern day bachelor pad type" Phoebe commented.
Damon narrowed his eyes at her, it felt like to Phoebe he was trying to figure her out. She smirked at him. "How about you give us a tour of the house" She said to him.
"Would be my pleasure" He said. Before the could continue Stefan appeared near the steps. " Elena. Phoebe. I didn't know you were coming over." He stated with a stern tone in his voice. Somehow Phoebe couldn't help but feel like she just got caught snooping.
"I know. I should have called, I just..." Elena started to say.
"Oh, don't be silly. You guys are welcome any time. Aren't they, Stefan? You know, I should break out the family photo albums or some home movies. But...I have to warn you. He wasn't always such a looker." Damon said.
Phoebe rolled her eyes at Damon's attempt to be 'normal'
"Thank you for stopping by, Elena and Phoebe. Nice to see you." Stefan said so dismissively.
Phoebe tugged on Elena's book bag handle.
"Yeah, I should probably go. It was nice to meet you, Damon." Elena said.
"Great meeting you, too, Elena." Damon said with a smirk, but before acknowledging Phoebe. "Phoebe" He said with a friendly smile.
"Damon." She said before walking out the house with Elena.
"Okay, what the hell was that?" Elena asked Phoebe.
"I don't know, lets get the hell out of here" Phoebe said walking from the boarding house.
"He has raging family issues." Elena spoke.
"Wait till you date a guy with mommy issues or cheating issues..."
"Or abuse issues." Phoebe slipped out and said.
She noticed the looks on Jenna's and Elena's faces. "I mean mentally." She corrected herself.
"Oh yeah, those are the worse kind." Jenna commented.
Phoebe felt her phone vibrate while Elena and Jenna continued to talk about there guy problems
Can we talk? - Vicki 5:43pm
Phoebe bit her lip, she knew Bonnie and the rest of them didn't want her to talk to Vicki, but a part of her felt like Vicki had the answers to some of her questions.
Of course - Phoebe replied back.
I'm outside -Vicki 5:45pm
Phoebe walked to the door and looked at out the window next to it and saw Matt truck outside with Vicki in the front seat.
"Hey Elena, I need to go see Grams real quick" Phoebe lied.
"Oh, your not spending the night?" Elena asked, you could here the disappointment in her voice.
"It's getting a little late to be making trips to your grandmothers house don't you think?" Jenna added
Phoebe felt bad she had to lie about what she was about to do. "Yeah It's really important" Phoebe said avoiding giving Jenna any details she was sure she wouldn't probably be able to keep up with the small tale, and she didn't want to keep lying as well.
"I'll text you later if you're still up" Phoebe said to Elena
Elena nodded.
Phoebe walked outside, but not before grabbing her jacket and book bag. She climbed in the truck and soon Vicki pulled off with not a word exchange between the two. Phoebe wondered if she could trust Vicki. Moments later she saw Vicki stop her truck near a track, she grabbed her bag from the back and she opened the door, which had a very loud squeak she swung her long brown hair out her face and looked back at Phoebe. "You coming Lucky?" She asked her.
Phoebe scrunched her nose a bit in confusion. But shrugged it off and nodded.
She followed Vicki who took a bottle of vodka out her tan bag and took a swig. "How did you know I was at Elena's" Phoebe asked Vicki.
"Lucky guess." She replied.
"Where are we?"
"You really don't remember do you?" She asked her. "I thought you were just putting on an act Hollywood." Vicki said.
"Hollywood?"
"The escape plan out this shit hole...make enough cash to leave this place, and take me and Matt with you and makeit big in Hollywood as an actress" Vicki said to Phoebe who was more confused than usual. Vicki took another swig from the bottle.
'I wanted to escape?'
"Vicki, I don't remember anything except waking up in the hosptial." Phoebe admitted to her.
"That explains why you've been hanging with the brat pack again." Vicki stated while walking along the train tracks.
"Why did they not want you talking to me." Phoebe asked.
"They probably wanted you too erase me. I mean, you wake up and have no memory, and then they forget to tell you how close we were? Fucking bitches." Phoebe could literately feel Vicki's rage. "I knew they were jealous of our friendship but to stoop that low? Matt was right.." Vicki said.
Phoebe bit her lip. "I'm so sorry for your loss Vicki." Phoebe said trying to be sensitive to Vicki's feelings. "I couldn't imagine what it must feel like to lose a sibling."
"It fucking sucks." Vicki admitted. "My mom is never around, my father can rot and my best friend have no memory of me. Its lonely Lucky." Vicki said to her.
Phoebe could here the train horn, warning them to move away because they were coming at them full speed. Phoebe moved to the right side of the tracks, she looked to her side and noticed Vicki was not next to her. She looked back at her and she could see the train lights on Vicki's face, which showed the tears running down to her lips. She saw a look on her face that scared Phoebe shitless. "Vicki...come on get off the tracks..." Phoebe said to her.
"Why?" She asked her.
"Stop messing around Vicki get off the tracks..." Phoebe said grabbing her arm, who then pushed her forcefully to the ground. Phoebe was shocked at how much force was in that push, and Vicki had an apologetic look on her face but it vanished completely when the train was getting closer. "I'm going to be with my brother" She told her.
You could here the breaks squeaking as she knew the driver was trying to stop the train, but as it was going so fast, she knew it wouldn't stop in time. Phoebe palms were being to sweat. Vicki took the bottle of Vodka and poured more into her mouth then all over her head before throwing it out in the grass some where. Phoebe shouted at Vicki "Vicki!" But Vicki wouldn't budge.
Phoebe couldn't just do nothing. "Vicki please!" She begged her.
As the lights were getting closer to Vicki and Phoebe. Phoebe then realize Vicki was determined to die. She quickly got up off the ground. Since Vicki didn't give her much of a choice.
Phoebe forcefully pushed Vicki to the other side of the tracks you could still the tracks squeaking even louder.
She looked over at Vicki who started to laugh.
Phoebe quickly got upset. "Are you fucking crazy?!" She asked her.
"Maybe" Vicki replied. Phoebe tried to catch her breath from the overwhelming circumstances. She looked at Vicki with rage, but not before seeing a silver key around her neck. She didn't see it before, but there it was clear as day. Right in front of her eyes. The key to her diary.
Vicki had it the whole time.