Oh wow. Here we are. I have to admit, I'm both happy and a little despondent to be here at the end of this story. Happy of course because I finished it, but admittedly I'm also a little sad. I really enjoyed working on this story, the light comedy, the drama, and just the sexy time between the boys. Leaving it behind, even complete, is kind of tugging at my heartstrings a bit.

However, with old projects ended, new ones can start. If anyone reading this story happens to also be reading Crossover at the River Styx (an Emma lives and becomes a Winchester hunter story) that will be resuming shortly. Also, I'm currently working on notes for an upcoming story which will be an AU called Patron Saint of the Lost, which is a story where the boys grow up to be Men of Letter members since childhood. It is incidentally a collaboration with TheBitterSweetBish, for whom It's in His Blood was written for in the first place. Not a clear idea when chapters for that will be coming as a lot of details are still being hammered out, but new projects are exciting all the same.

I won't prattle on much more, only to say that I sincerely hope you all like this final chapter, and to say thank you for reading.

Chapter 25: Not a Bad Place to End Up

"So, where you always bi or was that something Zachariah programmed into you for Sandover?"

"Dude? What?"

Sam sighed a bit. He knew it was pretty random to ask all of a sudden but there was little else to do to pass the time right now. It had been three days now since he'd been put in the panic room and the feeling of restlessness was starting to set in. So far he wasn't faring too badly but he was starting to feel a subtle itch under his skin and doing his best to ignore it.

His brother had been keeping company throughout most of it, only leaving the outside of the metal wall to get meals for them or to occasionally help Bobby with something. For the most part they just talked to pass the time, but with nothing going on out in the world it seemed like things had slowed down terribly. From the sounds of it, there wasn't anything going on with the seals for the time being, no crazy news of any kind. It had freed time up and honestly he was happy not talking about Lilith because any time he thought about her he couldn't help but wonder if his decision to tell the truth about the blood drinking had been the right one. He should be out there, trying to find her, putting an end to all of this madness instead of just sitting around in this lull.

So instead he tried to distract himself.

"I was just curious," he admitted as he laid his head against the metal wall from where he was sitting against it on the floor, the window open above him to allow them to talk easier. "Smith had experience with guys. I was wondering if that part was real or if it was made up too."

"You want to know if I've slept with guys?" Dean asked, his tone a bit disbelieving. Sam could practically imagine him snorting at the idea. Then again, Dean did deflect a lot on his whole macho thing.

"Have you?"

For a second there was no answer and he wasn't sure if one was going to come before Dean sighed.

"A few. I mean, a lot less than I have girls," he confessed. "Damn, I lost track of the number of the ladies years ago. Guys I can count on both hands and still have fingers left over."

"I never saw you with a guy," Sam noted. "You couldn't have been shy. You practically rubbed your conquests in my face every chance you got."

"Ah… well… actually… they were all when you were in college actually," he confessed. "Except for my first one. He was Ryan, a guy I met on a job while you were in high school. It was kind of a foxhole situation, and he was freaking out a bit. Uh… you know his mentor had picked him up recently, I tried to talk to him and calm him down. Afterward he was a bundle of nerves and I helped him relax. You know, thank goodness I'm alive sex."

"None after you came and got me though?" Sam asked curiously. "Were you worried I wouldn't be okay with it?"

The silence he received was answer enough. He couldn't help but wonder if Dad had known either.

"It's kind of ironic, everything considered, just how okay with it I am," he said, unable to keep from chuckling. It was almost like a joke or something. What they were doing was pretty messed up, but only from normal standards. The things they'd seen all their lives, did it really matter in the long run?

That… was actually a good question. Right now the angels didn't seem to be getting all judgey over it but did that mean anything? Sam groaned and rubbed his head as he tried to ignore the pressure building steadily between his eyes. It had been going on since this morning. He almost wished he could go back to the somewhat normal life he'd had before as Sam Wesson. He might have hated it, but at least he'd been allowed to touch Dean without worrying if such a thing would land him in Hell or not.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

"Peachy," he lied as the back of his head hit the metal wall with a harsh thud.

"You can open the door, you know," Sam said softly as his lunch was pushed through the bars of the window, a couple bananas along with a zip-lock bag of strawberries. "I'm not going to try and break out."

"Yeah, not with as twitchy as you've been getting lately," Dean said with a smile. It was clear he was trying to make a joke out of it, but the worry was clear in his eyes.

"Don't try and comfort me," Sam muttered as he snatched up the food before tossing it aside on a table. He wasn't feeling hungry anyway. It had been two weeks now and he was starting to feel it, the burning in his gut. He hadn't been let out of here for any reason, not to shower or stretch his legs. He'd paced the floor more times than he could count and his mood was getting sour. Even if he hadn't had this craving inside of him, he would be getting antsy just from being cooped up like this. "I don't want to be in here anymore."

"And that's why I'm not opening the door, smart guy."

Sam glared at Dean and slammed his hands against the door.

"Dean… please," he hissed. "I just… just for a minute. Please, at least let me..."

"Sam, this is for your own good," he said firmly. "I can't."

"Dean, I want to touch you," he whispered. "You can. I swear I'll go right back inside. I just-"

"Dean! You better get up here!" Bobby called from the staircase.

"Dean, don't go," he hissed. "Let me come with you. I can help. I swear I'll go right back in just-"

Dean's expression was one of pure hurt, but he just shook his head.

"I'll be back when I can," he promised before walking off.

"Dean?" Sam breathed as he watched his retreating back. "Dean, don't! Come back! DEAN!"

Wanting to scream, he dug his hands in his hair and spun around to press his back against the door. His hands clawed through the brown mess to rub at his face, trying to force his breathing to even out. He felt like a panting, wild animal, caged and desperate to escape the insanity that was slowly creeping inside of him from being unable to leave and get what he needed.

"It's fine… it's fine, he's just upstairs," he hissed to himself softly. Sam was willing to do this, willing to detox from the blood if he had to. The things it did to him, the way he'd allowed Ruby to manipulate him into taking in more and more, he had to stop it before it got too far. He had to show he was trustworthy, but hadn't this been enough? He wasn't trying to get out of here to go right back to drinking the stuff. He just wanted to be able to move around a little bit, wash off, change clothes… just wanted to…

"Want to touch me?"

Sam looked up confused, seeing Dean inside the doorway, opened wide and framing his brother.

"Dean? I thought you went upstairs. What-"

"It wasn't anything important," his brother assured him as he walked up to him. "Man, you look awful. Must need a pick me up pretty bad."

"I'd settle for a breath of fresh air," he admitted gratefully as he made his way to the door, only for Dean to twist his arm and shove him against the metal wall. "Ahhh! Dean, what the hell?!"

"What you need isn't out there, not anymore," his brother hissed in his ear as he pressed close up against his back, gripping his arm tight. "I'm in here with you now."
Sam grimaced against the metal, gasping out in pain as his arm was held in an unnatural position. It felt like his arm was going to get ripped out of his socket at this rate.

"This thing between us, you know deep down how demented it is," Dean whispered. "How wrong you are to want it. You playing house with me, talking about love and acting like we're a couple? It's just another sick level of what is wrong with you."

"Dean… Dean, damn it, let go of me!" he demanded. "Look, if you aren't happy about something then let's talk it out!"

"Oh, Sam. I am happy. I'm not doing this to punish you," Dean assured him as Sam felt a knee slid up between his legs and push up against his crotch. He grimaced again but for a different reason this time. Despite himself a spike of arousal hit him, causing him to lick his lips. Was Dean serious? He really wanted to fuck this way? It wasn't really like him but… maybe?

"Dean… Dean, please…"

"That's right, Sammy. This is how this should be. It's sick and wrong, not loving. This should hurt!"

Sam screamed as he felt something plunge inside of his back, sharp like a knife. Desperate, he used his free hand to feel for blood until he whipped around, his eyes wide as he realized he was all alone and the door was firmly locked.

"D-Dean?" he whimpered, confused.

"What the hell do you mean, the seals are breaking again?" Dean asked. "I thought everything was going quiet. We haven't heard anything for half a month now."

"Don't think I don't know that, boy?" Bobby asked as he showed him the list of notes he'd been taking. "I've been getting calls the last hour. Whole species of animals going extinct in a single day, a crew of fifteen men on a fishing boat going blind, a teacher goes postal and starts killing a whole bunch of his students… sixty-six to be exact."

"All of this in one day?" Dean asked disbelievingly. "I mean… I'm used to demons being bigger than us, doing whatever they want, but this is insane."

"You mentioned Anna said the angels were trying to smoke out Lilith. Well, it looks like they found her," Bobby sighed out as he pulled off his cap to wipe at his face and slip it back on. It struck Dean just how tired Bobby looked at that moment, how old he probably felt. It felt like bile in the back of his throat, seeing that. Even without the messed up memories of the false life in his head, he'd always respected the man and looked up to him as a second father. To see him like this now felt like a boulder on his own back.

"Smoke her out, but not kill her," he hissed before he slammed his hands on the table. "Damn it! It would have been better if she'd just stayed hidden the whole time then! She's going around killing people and there's nothing we can do about it!"

"Well, not nothing," Bobby admitted. "Your brother is-"

"No," Dean said immediately. "We're not putting him back on the blood."

"Look, I know you don't want to hear it but he can kill demons. We don't have-"

"No, Bobby!" he said with a shake of his head. "No. I'm not sacrificing my brother to kill some demon, I don't care how powerful she is."

"Any other ideas then?" the older hunter asked, causing Dean to swallow the lump in his throat. "Because you've made it clear you're not willing to hunt right now and if Sam is out of commission we're running out of options, fast."

"I… I don't know. I guess there are a couple people I can try to call," Dean admitted.

It was how he ended up outside the house, hands jammed in his pockets and feeling like an idiot. He'd never done the praying thing as a kid, feeling it was stupid to talk if no one was listening. Somehow the fact he knew for sure someone was listening now though, it just made it seem even more idiotic.

"Look, I don't know how to do this. I think it's not much of a surprise I'm not in good practice here," he said out loud. "But the last time I did this in Godric's Hollow… Look, I need some help. Could you just show up, Anna? Please?"

"I'm surprised you didn't call for Castiel," she admitted behind him as he turned around suddenly at the sound of her voice.

"Yeah, well I'm not sure how much I even trust him right now," he confessed. "He's got the whole, 'One of us, One of us,' freaky thing going on at the moment. I figured you were the safer bet."

"And if I hadn't shown up?" she asked curiously.

"I would have bitten the bullet and done what I had to, trust or not," he said. "Speaking of which, what happened to his… well, Jimmy's family?"

"They're safe. They reached Amelia's mother. I laid some protections on the home. No one should bother them anyway. Things are getting too involved to worry about the family of one vessel," she assured him.

"Well, that's something at least. The things that have been happening, those are seals then, for sure?"

"Yes. It seems the Heavenly Host found Lilith."

"And didn't finish this?" Dean asked. "What, just found her and wasn't tough enough to kill her off?"

"It doesn't have anything to do with tough," she informed him. "One of the archangels would have been more than enough to destroy her."

"Then why didn't they?"

Anna sighed and shifted from one foot to the next. He felt his patience wearing thin. Why was it whenever he asked a straightforward question these people either got all cryptic or they refused to say anything?

"You don't know how angels work, Dean. I don't think you ever really understood," she stated. "They don't operate on what will be the fastest or most effective way. They only do what they're told to do. One of them could smite Lilith into a burning crater, but they won't. Because that's not how they were told this would go. It's you, Dean. Eons ago, before your family line was established, before language that formed your name even existed, it was declared Dean Winchester would be the one to save the world. They won't do it for you, because it wasn't what was ordered."

"So everything Sam did to himself was for nothing," he breathed.

"I'm afraid so, Dean, but it's not his fault. Something was planted inside of him as a child, a seed of evil so black that it can never be scrubbed away. You think it's some weed that can be pulled out at the root? It's not. It's a whole garden of poison that's in your brother, twisted around in knots inside of him and sadly Sam long since took to watering the plants. From the moment it hit his lips when he was six months old, it buried itself into every cell and molecule of him. There's no force that can just tear it out of him, not that I know of anyway. He can stop if he really wants to, but he can never be completely free of that blood in him."

"Could God fix him?"

"Maybe," she sighed out. "But you're really going to bank on the big guy suddenly showing up to help after all this time?"

"I don't know. I'm not exactly one of the faithful," he admitted. "But it might give me a bargaining chip if they want my help so damn bad."

"You're doing quite a gamble here, again. Do you think it could pay off?"

"Not for a hot second, but I'm running out of options here. If it comes down to it, if killing Lilith will help Sam, I'm willing to do just about anything to save him," he said. "Course, I think I'd rather go in with you than anyone up there."

"Dean, I'm not nearly enough to kill Lilith. She's the strongest demon out there. She was the first one, crafted by Lucifer himself. Trust me, he put more juice in her than I have. Besides, with Heaven gunning for me, we're more hindrances to each other now than help. I'm sorry, but I can't."

She was gone before he had a chance to argue, leaving him alone with even fewer options than before. Yeah, it was way worse than potentially praying as a kid would have been. At least back then he'd thought there was no one to listen, a lot better than now when he was just intentionally ignored.

It was getting worse, Sam could just tell. He'd lost track of the time on how long he'd been down here, but it didn't seem to matter anymore. His body was starting to react horribly to the withdrawals, causing him unbearable pain, forcing him to see things that weren't there. It was easy to tell with most of them, his younger self deriding him for what he'd allowed his life to turn into, his mother cooing at him that he had to see this through and start drinking again to finish this. Even ones like Alastair hurting and cutting into him was horrible, because no matter how much he tried to tell himself it wasn't real the agony tore through him just as effectively.

But it wasn't the worst.

The worst was Dean, because Sam couldn't honestly see a difference. He would come in and call him a monster, a thing that needed to be hunted, or hold him close and whisper to him that it was okay, that Dean could love him if only he'd stop drinking the blood, stop being a freak. Then there was the Dean who came to his window, who tried to tell him about the going on's on the world, how the seals had started breaking again. It was all too much for Sam, who was fooled every time, who hurt by every insult and yet opened his arms desperately to be held by his brother anyway. The only difference was the real Dean never opened the door no matter how much Sam begged him to let him out. Honestly, that probably hurt the worst.

"Sam?" Dean called inside of the room.

He just shut his eyes tight and rolled over onto his cot. Not again, he didn't want to hear it again. Either that door would open and his own mind disguised as Dean would tell him how horrible and disgusting he was, or it would be the real one who'd refuse to let him out. Why had he told him? He never should have been so stupid. He could be out killing Lilith right now if he'd kept his damn mouth shut.

"Sam… listen… I… I need to tell you something," his brother tried again, but Sam refused to respond. "Okay, look the seals… Sam, it's been about three weeks now. They all stopped again. I've tried praying to Cas, he says there's only one left. He told me I should tell you the truth, because I'm… I'm going to be leaving soon."

That got Sam's attention as he suddenly sat up and looked at him.

"What?" he rasped.

"He promised me you can be helped if I serve Heaven," Dean sighed out. "Stupid, right? I can't believe I'm actually going to trust them, but it's coming down to the wire now."

"You can't leave, Dean. You promised you wouldn't leave!" he argued. This couldn't be real. It was just another hallucination, that was it! He needed his brother!

"Sam, you're suffering for something you don't have to!" Dean snapped back. "I'm watching you days on end just being torn apart from the inside out. I don't know if it can get better without them. I'm doing this for you. Castiel said he'll be coming by soon to get me and… it'll be over before you know it. Once she's gone, they'll take care of you."

"Don't leave," Sam begged as he got up and went to the door. "Dean… Dean, please. Just… you don't need them. Let me out of here and I'll help you. We don't need Heaven. We've got each other."

"Heh. It's weird, you were like this as a kid too. You hated taking medicine when you got sick, remember that?" Dean asked him. "Look, it's going to be okay. I'll be back before you know it. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I'm going with them to help you. They're gonna fix you."

"I'm not broken, Dean," he hissed out. "I never should have told you! I had everything under control!"

"The sad thing is you really believe that," he sighed. "But it's okay. I don't blame you. I never did."

Sam didn't even have the strength to beg him to stay, not anymore. Sinking down on the floor, he just gave a shuddering sob and curled up onto himself. He just sat there for a long time, shivering and wondering just where he'd gone wrong in all of this.

"Oh, how pathetic," a snide voice muttered. Sam dared to look up, shocked at the sight of Lilith standing over him. He tried to scramble away but she only slammed a heeled foot into his chest, knocking the breath out of him. "Nuh uh. Sit still. We need to talk."

"Y-you're not real," he breathed. "I'm just going insane."

"Right on the second one, wrong on the first," she informed him. "I'm here alright, just in your head. You're dreaming. Remember the little deathmatch Yellow Eyes put you through? Same thing."

"How?"

"How? Who do you think taught all the other little demons their tricks? I know you're coming down but try not to be so stupid, Sam. I need you to pay attention," she said as she leaned down to meet him eye to eye. "You want to come after me? This is your one chance."

"W-what are you talking about?"

"I was going to wait for you, see if you could come find me on your own, but it seems the little birdy whispering in your ear is long gone. So here's the deal, there's one last seal left. I'm going to open it tomorrow night at midnight. You come find me at St. Mary's, Ilchester, Maryland. Try to stop me, if you're able to even still get it up."

"Why are you telling me this? You want me to stop you?"

She only laughed, her voice high-pitched and shrill.

"Like you can. You turned yourself into a freak for nothing," she taunted, only laughing more when he glared at her. "No, I considered stopping. I really did. I wanted it back to normal, no angels on my ass, sweet baby blood all the time… but it didn't work out. There's no stopping this. We all play our roles. They'll force us to, so why not give it a big bang, because my side is going to win. I want you there, Sam. I want you there to try to stop me, so I can tear you apart right in front of Lucifer when I get him out and give him your bloody heart as an offering. You can't stop me now. No one can."

"I can," he hissed at her. "I will."

"Doubtful, but you're welcome to try," she said before she stood up and kicked him roughly in the face.

Sam woke with a start, looking around wildly. There was no Lilith and he'd have expected there to be. What time was it? How was he going to get out of here?

"Come on, think," he hissed as he hit his fist against his forehead.

"You really are hopeless, aren't you?"

"Oh come on, not again," Sam groaned. People who weren't really there talking to him was starting to get pretty irritating. He stared up at Ruby and rolled his eyes. "I know you're dead. Dean said he killed you."

"Yeah, he did. That sucked by the way, but no, I'm not Ruby," the fake demon replied. "I'm just in your head, like everything else. I'm your own thoughts trying to tell you something you only know subconsciously but this is the form I guess you figured could kick your ass into gear. You're one touchdown from winning the Super Bowl but this is your last shot to make the play, big boy."

"You think I don't know that? We're running out of time."

"It's why I'm here. To give you your one last shot," she informed him. "Time for the truth, the truth you've been hiding from all this time. You never needed the blood. It was you... and your choices. I just gave you the options, and you chose the right path every time. You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo."

"What?! What are you talking about?" he demanded.

"Think about the other children, Sammy. They did everything they did because they wanted to. They never needed more than that little drop and some good old fashioned motivation to do it. You're no different except for one thing, you needed to believe it wasn't inside of you, that there wasn't something wrong with you and that it all came from the outside. It's time to let the placebo go, because you have something stronger than the blood could ever be. You have Dean."
She traced a hand over his cheek, and he was too shocked to pull away.

"You know how it goes, kick one addiction and you just get another? It's the same for him. You live and breathe him, more than ever before. The thing you have for him in your heart, it's love and it's beautiful, but it's twisted and horrible at the same time. You want to own him, possess him, but deep down he wants you to. All he's ever needed was to know he mattered as much to you as you did to him. It's why he's going to do this, going to give up himself just to save you. Don't you owe it to him to show you'd be willing to make the same sacrifice? Don't you love him the way he loves you, in all its twisted and dark glory? Your love for him is that dark seed in you now, so you just have to let it grow."

He breathed deep as he took in her words… his words. Was it true? Was the power in him all along? Was it something he'd never really be rid of? Swallowing the lump in his throat he remembered Ava telling him it was just like a switchboard, that if he just gave himself over to it he could do anything. He remembered seeing Dean die to Max, shoving the furniture aside to reach them in time. He'd fought so hard against it, tried to be the good boy all his life.

Could… could he really give himself over to that power? Wasn't he in here because he didn't want to do that? He wanted to stop, for Dean's sake.

"You have to keep going for Dean's sake, Sam," Ruby assured him. "You think Heaven will give Dean one job and just let him go? They didn't let Jimmy go."

"No… no, they'll keep him. They'll keep him away from me," he hissed as he pushed himself up.

"Yeah, so what are you going to do about it?" she urged him, a grin on her face.

"I'm going to end this," he muttered darkly. "My way."

He steadied himself on the door. This wasn't going to be easy. He still felt weak, unsteady and sure, but he knew what he had to do now. He just had to have the courage to actually do it.

"Dean!" he called up from the panic room. "Dean! Come down here, please! I know where Lilith is going to be! COME DOWN HERE!"

Just as he'd hoped, it only took a moment for Dean to come barreling down the stairs. Sam breathed in deep, hoping his brother could forgive him for this.

"Sammy? Everything okay down here? Did you say you-"

"Dean, stop talking," he ordered firmly. He reached inside of himself, forcing his brain into overdrive, ignoring the pain. It was motivation, nothing more, and he had one hell of a motivator as Dean's mouth promptly snapped shut. He could do this. He had to. "Dean, listen to me very carefully. You're going to open this door and then take several steps back."

It was clear the other was doing his best to fight it off, the struggle in his expression was clear, but Sam knew he'd won when the lock clicked open. He stepped outside of it and it felt like salvation, smiling at Dean even as it felt bittersweet.

"Stand there, Dean. Don't move," he said calmly. "I… I want to bring you with me, I do. I'm just… I'm not sure if you can accept me like this. I love you so much, Dean. I hate this, being this freak, this monster, but I'm going to do it for you."

He reached out and cupped his cheeks, leaning in to kiss his forehead before he reached down and pulled the demon killing knife from Dean's belt.

"You don't have to go to Heaven. I'm not going to let them mess with your life or use you again. I feel so grateful I got to know you as Smith but it's you I love. It'll always be you. I understand if you can't accept this, if you think this is too far for me. If you need to come through on your threat in that hotel room all those months ago, if you feel you need to hunt me… I won't fight back when the time comes. Just… just know I'm going to save you this time. It'll all be over soon. So you're just going to stand there, and you're not going to move, understand? Tell me you understand, Dean."

"I understand," he gritted out. "Sam-"

"Shh. Nothing else," he breathed before he hugged him close. "You can't imagine how free this feels, this power and how shackling it is at the same time. It's okay though. I know you can't get it, that you never had this happen to you. But because of you, I've finally let go of that thing holding me back. I'll be back when I kill Lilith, and you don't have to worry about me anymore."

He let go of Dean and left him there, heading up the stairs where Bobby was, knocking him out with barely a thought. He was sure the others would be pissed at him, but he'd always been the outsider in this family. He was pretty much used to it at this point.

The drive felt calming, pushing the gas pedal down until he reached his destination. He took the time to rent an hourly hotel room, just to clean up and get a new change of clothes. One didn't face the end of the world covered in sweat after all. Still, he made it to the church in time, looking up at it before strolling in.

The guards he knocked aside easily, finding it odd they didn't put up more of a fight. Was he coming into his power that much, or was there some other reason? Maybe Lilith had a few traitors in the ranks, wanted someone else in charge? It didn't really matter.

Lilith was at the altar, already looking like she was ready to go. Sam didn't want to admit it as his knees buckled, almost falling over before he regained his composure.

"I'm surprised you managed to make it here," she taunted.

"I've been waiting for this, for a very long time," he growled at her.

"Well then, give it your best shot."

He didn't need to be told twice. Raising his hand, he used every ounce of power he had in him to slam her against the altar, knocking things aside. He could have sworn he heard screaming in his own head, sounding like her voice, sounding like Dean's. He pushed it all away, focusing as best he could. He'd only needed a push, a final line to cross. He just needed to make one more choice, one more bad thing to let it all go. He'd turned himself into a monster willingly to do this. Turned out that was a hell of a push as he squeezed with his mind and broke Lilith's body from within as she screamed. For a moment she almost looked triumphant umtil he drew out the knife, seeing her eyes go wide in honest fear before he slashed at her neck and clamped his mouth down on it and began to drink.

His powers weren't enough, he knew that. Something inside of him just knew killing her like that, even if it was possible, it wasn't how he wanted to do it. He wanted it crystal clear, plain as day, there was no upside to this, no excuse he could fall back on. Sam Winchester was dark and twisted and he wanted more than anything to make that obvious so that it would be easier on Dean when the time came, saw Sam with the blood on his mouth and in his veins so his brother wouldn't hesitate to do what had to be done.

Unfortunately, he wasn't expecting the blood to taste so rich that it made his mind explode with sensations. He could hear her heartbeat as she cried out and begged him to stop, could feel his own start to speed up to match hers. He could see things in his mind that weren't his own memories, or even hers, watched balls of fire in space collide in lava and sparks, cool slowly, form the cosmos that was huge and powerful and still so small compared to himself.

Convulsing, he fell away from Lilith's corpse and screamed his throat raw as the Plan came into focus in his mind, the terror of it too much for him.

"Sam! SAM! Answer me!"

Sam woke up suddenly as he was slapped across the face, flailing a bit at whoever was hitting him. He felt hungover and sore, the morning light bright in his eyes and making him want to vomit.

"Ugh. The hell?" he groaned as he sat up.

"That's what I'd like to know, you idiot!" Dean yelled at him. "What were you thinking?"

Sam looked blearily at his brother, kneeling over him, and tried to get his brain to boot up. For a second he was confused about where he was, staring around at some old church before his eyes fell onto a very still and dead blonde demon.

"Oh shit," he breathed. Oh yeah. Last night had happened. An odd calm came over Sam, much like in the hospital back when Ruby had force fed him the blood. He should be freaking out, he knew he should, yet he couldn't muster it up for some reason. "Dean, what are you doing here?"

"What am I… What am I doing here?! You moron!" his brother yelled at him before smacking him upside the head. "I came to stop you, of course! Do you know what you've done?! Lilith was-"

"The final seal. Yeah, I know," Sam replied. It stopped Dean's rant right in his tracks. He supposed it was understandable. He himself had sort of had everything jam packed in his brain last night but Dean was probably still trying to take it all in.

"Then Lucifer got free. Shit, Sammy. What are we going to-"

"He's not free," Sam assured him as he stretched. "Ah hell, my back is killing me."

"Will you stop interrupting me while I'm freaking out?!" Dean yelled at him as he grabbed his shoulders and shook him. The pain shooting up from the action made Sam feel like he got hit by a lightning bolt, but he supposed he deserved it. "What do you mean, he's not free?"

Sam sat there for a second, wondering how to explain it all. How did you just tell your brother you got the entire history of the universe and the Plan with capital letters just downloaded in your brain? He looked up at Dean, at his big brother and flinched inwardly. How did he tell Dean what he'd been destined for, that Michael himself had plans to use his body to fight in the end of the world?

"I… Okay, so this is gonna sound crazy," he started. "But I didn't break the seal last night. I sort of transferred it. It was her blood. When I killed her it was supposed to pool out on the floor and… Well, it was supposed to unlock the final seal and bust the door open. Instead I kind of took it into me. Didn't know that was going to happen, by the way. I just… God, my head hurts right now."

"You transferred it. So you're the final seal? Heaven's going to come after you then. They want it broken so they can-"

"Kill Lucifer, I know."

"Sammy, I swear I'm going to be the one to kill you if you don't stop interrupting me," he snapped but Sam only shook his head.

"You can, you know," he said softly. "Heaven's not going to. I was supposed to open the seal, but I'm also supposed to be..."

He didn't want to say it. Lucifer's vessel? It was messed up just thinking about.

"It's in me now, embedded into not just my body but my soul. They'd have to totally destroy me to get that door open now, and it wouldn't help. Lucifer would need me around to fulfill the prophecy right. I… I think Heaven might be at a stalemate. There's no way to get it out of me without not only blowing up my body but my soul too. Look, it's complicated, but I promise I can fully explain it later if you want."

He looked up at Dean, feeling hopeful despite himself.

"Do… do you want that?" he asked.

"Idiot," Dean muttered before pulling him into a hug. "All that crap about killing you? What was that? I could never do that to you. You've got to know that by now."

"But I'm a monster now. I don't think I'll ever be normal again. I never was normal."

"Shut up."

"Dean, I-"

"I said shut up! We'll figure it out. Christ, Sam. You scared me so damn bad. The things I had to do to get here. Angels kidnapped me, then Castiel busted me out… now the feathered dick is dead and I didn't even get a chance to tell him we were cool again."

Sam blinked for a second and wondered if he should tell Dean that wasn't the case. He could feel him right now, every angel, on Earth and in Heaven. He could feel them scrambling around confused, could feel Michael in Heaven throwing and fit and wanting to know what was going on. Somehow there was a lot more in his head than just Lilith's power or his own. Was… was being a seal giving him a bit of Lucifer too? He shook his head, wanting to not worry about it right now. These were all things he could figure out later.

"Listen, it's going to be okay," Sam assured him. "If you can handle the Antichrist being your brother I'm sure you can handle anything."

Dean gave him a bit of a glare.

"That's not funny."

"No, I'm being serious," he told him. "Look, how long have I been fighting this, and somehow I lucked out and saved the world by finally giving in? No end of the world. It's not that bad. I mean… okay so I'm not exactly human but let's face it, I never was, not since I was six-months-old. You still loved me then. You can love me like this, can't you?"

"I… That's not fair. You know I'll always care about you, Sammy."

Sam leaned in and kissed his brother gratefully, softly at first but he allowed himself to indulge in a little nibble of Dean's bottom lip for a moment or two.

"I'm not asking you to accept this all in one go, and I know we have a lot to talk about, but why don't we just celebrate that we won for now? We find a place to have some breakfast, you book a hotel room and we spend all day catching up while you remind me just what a bad little brother I've been?"

He loved how Dean looked as his face got red, but his brother eventually nodded his head.

"Great," he said as he stood up and wiped at his mouth. He realized all of a sudden there was still some blood on it, and his brother had been allowing himself to kiss him like that. Huh. Okay, maybe Dean was due for a freak out. He had a feeling it would be coming on sooner or later, but right now it felt pretty good to be accepted like this.

"You know, it's not going to be as easy as you say," Dean said. "I doubt Heaven or Hell is going to just throw their hands up in the air and say, 'Oh well, we tried,' and go on their merry way. We gotta figure something out and soon."

"Yeah, I know," Sam said as he weighed his options. He was sure Castiel would be along eventually, and Anna was out there somewhere too. There were also plenty of demons who didn't have any leadership at the moment, and he could potentially hop on that. It was either that or let some moron demon take over and gun for Sam. He was kind of done with all that. Maybe with the right incentive he could get some support, if he played his cards right. Cas seemed loyal to Dean and Anna just wanted Heaven to leave her be. It was it was start at least.

He didn't suggest taking over Hell, because he was sure Dean would surely start screaming about that, but maybe he could ease his brother into the idea. For now, he just reached out and squeezed Dean's ass as he licked his lips.

"Dude! What is wrong with you?"

"Oh Dean, I'm just a bad guy," he purred to him. "But I'm getting to be okay with that. Better than working in a cubicle."

His brother only stared at him disbelievingly for a second before he allowed himself to laugh. Yeah… it would be okay. Somehow they'd make this work, they always did.

End of Story

Oh my god, it's done. It's finally done. Well, not entirely. I will probably come back to this sometime in the future and give it one last final clean up, try to fix all the grammar errors I missed before during posting but for now it's finished. I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed. I hope you all sincerely enjoyed it and with luck I'll see you in future projects.