SEE CHAPTER ONE FOR DISCLAIMERS
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PLEASE CAMPAIGN FOR THE TROPE PAGE'S DELETION
-CHAPTER START-
Realm R38Y
In Evernight Castle, Emerald sat on the floor against the wall while Mercury practiced his moves.
"I hate being kept in the dark like this…" she groused.
"Yeah," Mercury remarked, "Cinder was a pain but at least she kept us filled in."
"…Can I ask you something?"
"You're gonna."
"Why did you come with us, the night Cinder and I found you?"
"Why are you asking-"
"Just answer the question."
He shrugged. "It just made sense."
She looked confused at that. "…It made sense?"
"All my life, my father trained me to be a killer, an assassin like him. And then moments after I killed him, you two showed up looking for someone with my exact skills. Just felt like it was meant to be."
"That's it?"
"Hey, what's your problem?"
"I mean, there has to be something you want from this, right?"
"Salem's promised us everything. We win this thing for her and her 'friends', we'll be top dogs in her new world. What more do you want?"
"I just…" Emerald sighed. "Cinder was the only family I ever had. She cared about me, taught me things… But without her here, I don't know if what we're doing-"
"Wake up, already" Mercury interrupted her, leaving her shocked and confused. "Cinder doesn't care about you! She doesn't care about either of us!"
She growled. "You don't know what you're talking about!"
"You're in denial. And if you're gonna start having a crisis of identity or some crap… keep me out of it."
Emerald leapt forward on the attack, but he dodged her blows and caught her by the wrist.
"I'm sorry you didn't have a mommy who loved you," he growled, "but I had a father who hated me!" He shoved her back. "He never went easy on me! Every day of training was a beating. And when I unlocked my Semblance, he stole it with his!" He went on the attack. "This is a crutch! This makes you weak! He told me I could have it back when I was strong. So I got strong, but I never got it back! I've had to work harder than anyone to get where I am. You may not like it here without Cinder, but I think I'm right where I'm supposed to be!"
Suddenly, wicked laughter rang out. The 'spar' came to a halt as the two teens turned to see Tyrian stepping out of the shadows, his scorpion tail now encased in flexible armor plates with a mechanical prosthetic stinger.
"Oh yes," he said mockingly, "the world is mean, and I'm a big, bad man now just like the others."
Mercury snarled, walking over. "How long have you been standing there?!"
"All you ever learned was pain and violence, and now you're too afraid to leave it. Such a tragedy…"
"You don't know me!"
Mercury tried to kick at Tyrian, who effortlessly dodged and kicked him down, pinning him to the ground with his tail.
"I want to tell you both a little secret. Your question is all wrong."
"What?" Emerald was confused.
Tyrian laughed. "What do you want from this? Children, please. If you're not loving what you're doing, then you're in the wrong field."
"So, what? Are you saying we should just leave?"
He gasped. "Oh no, no, no, no. You can't do that!"
"Then what did you come here for?" Mercury glared up from the floor.
"To say farewell. There's been a change in plans. Her Grace must act swiftly if we are to prevail. If General Ironwood comes to his senses, stops playing defensive and calls upon aid from Vacuo, all may be lost for us! And so, the good doctor and I are being sent to Atlas… to prepare."
"Prepare for what?" Emerald asked.
"Oh, I wouldn't be a good showman if I spoiled the next act of the play! I'm afraid you'll have to wait until you're called upon to perform your scenes. And children, remember… Do what makes you happy~."
-Break-
Elsewhere in the castle, Maleficent and Dyspear were going over the information provided by the former's corvid familiar.
"Argus, is it?" Maleficent stroked her chin. "What do you think we should do? We may not have much time before those children are able to move on to Atlas."
"…If we launch a 'small' assault," Dyspear replied, "it will either kill some of them and net us the Relic, or at least weaken & exhaust them and delay their arrival at Atlas, giving Watts and Callows more time to settle in and prepare. Let's discuss our options with Salem… if she's calmed down yet, that is."
-Break-
In an abandoned lot in Argus, Fi had set up a "magic damage conversion field", the kind commonly used to let people go all-out without risk of maiming or killing each other, usually for sparring. Maria had challenged Qrow to an all-out fight between the two of them; she hadn't expected much from him, nor he from himself. But…
"Why are you holding back…?" Qrow asked, panting lightly and leaning on his sword, his Aura Barrier flickering.
Maria groaned in pain. "I'm not! It seems I've been thinking less of you than I should've, since I've only seen you at your lowest point. You're a better fighter than I thought – better than you think you are! Even if I were in my prime, I'm not sure I'd be able to hold out against you for long! …Your close combat skills appear to be superior to those of the Grimm Reaper; it's just your attitude, your fatalism and self-loathing, that need work. You're wonderfully skilled and powerful, but that spark of hope that every Hunter needs to really do their job at peak efficiency has been all but snuffed out. We need to rekindle it. …Why don't you sit in on my & Ruby's next meeting?"
Meanwhile, the others and their Pokémon were also training (though also taking some time to relax as well). Oscar had bought some new, warmer clothes – a dull-green jacket and matching pants – in anticipation of the cold polar climate of Solitas. Ruby was still practicing with her Keyblade, following the lessons Master Terra had left with her. Link and Jaune trained together, the two unofficial students of Link the Hero of Twilight helping each other improve as best they could.
-Break-
It was now the fourth day after contact was established with Ironwood. Argus Base's aircraft were finally at 100% condition again, and the base contacted Qrow to let him know a long-range airship was ready & waiting for his group, along with two volunteer fighter escorts. The news had everyone excited and relieved; they'd finally be able to get a move on! They spent the rest of the morning packing, and then decided to stay and have lunch with Pyrrha's mom and Jaune's sister & her family.
Their peaceful 'vacation' from their duties was about to come to an abrupt end.
Appearing from a Dark Corridor on one of the tall hilltops that flanked and overlooked the city, Dyspear raised her arms and focused her magic. First, a giant, horned, single-eyed lock appeared, and then a rush of green flames formed around it, forming into a massive wolf monster, bright green fur marked by glowing dark-red runic patterns, with the huge lock-thing for a face – a 'Metsuborg'. Then, she called forth a very sizable horde of Heartless. Lastly, she summoned a handful of Grimm into the mix.
"Cause havoc" she ordered. "Find Ruby Rose and the Lamp of Knowledge. Kill her comrades if you can, secure the Lamp if you can. Produce enough panic in the populace to draw in additional Grimm from the surrounding area. Go."
The numerous darklings took off, running or flying down the hill toward Argus. Dyspear then warped out – not to return to base, but to seek out an even more potent asset…
The heroes had just finished their lunch when the city's alarms started to sound, and they all immediately grabbed their weapons and hurried outside. They quickly caught sight of a handful of Grimm leaping among rooftops or flying overhead, harassing the city's defenses, and then the Heartless came into view as well, fighting alongside the Grimm to terrorize the populace. Then, a massive shape leapt in – a giant wolf-like monster with a red-tinted black lock for a face. The monster turned its gaze on the stunned hero group, snarling despite lacking a mouth to do so with.
"That's one of Dyspear's monsters!" Ruby said. "This isn't a random Grimm incursion; it's gotta be a coordinated attack! The Sorceresses know we're here!"
Qrow quickly took charge. "Team RWBY and I will handle this thing; everyone else, spread out and protect the civilians!"
JNPPR, Oscar, Link, and Rattrap scattered to assist Argus' defenses in handling the invading darklings. The Metsuborg made a pouncing leap that the five heroes (and their Pokémon) scattered to avoid, and everyone started peppering the monster with ranged fire. Ruby switched to her Keyblade and started firing mana blasts at the large lupine darkling, which growled and turned its one-eyed gaze to her, sensing her Keyblade's mystical power of Light. The wolf Metsuborg raised and swung one of its forepaws, its large black claws releasing tearing waves of dark power at her, but Qrow's Absol managed to yank her out of the way right before they hit her. There was a bright white light as Weiss summoned her Arma Gigas Revenant, the massive white knight armor hefting its huge blade and charging at the Metsuborg; the monster dodged the first, downward swing of the greatsword, but the follow-up horizontal swing slammed into it, sending it tumbling.
Snarling in frustration, the Metsuborg let out a howling roar, and several Shadows and Darkballs 'spawned' in, followed by the arrival of several Grimm – Sabyrs, a couple of Ursai, and a particularly large Manticore. The numerous Heartless & Grimm all went on the attack, supporting the Metsuborg.
"Weiss, help me and Qrow take on the big guy!" Ruby ordered. "Blake, Yang, keep the minions off us!"
Meanwhile Jaune, Pyrrha, and Pirika were making their way towards the military base, they and their Poké-Partners taking out a few Heartless and small Grimm on the way. Pirika kicked a Soldier Heartless into a metal wall so hard the wall was dented, while her Kubfu rolled to dodge after Detecting an emerging Shadow's attempted ambush and then cut the little Heartless down with an Aerial Ace attack. Pyrrha's Nosepass buried a Beowolf under a conjured Rock Slide, while her Treecko used a Grass Knot to trip a charging Sabyr, making the Grimm tumble to a halt as it bled momentum, right into range of Pyrrha's sword. Jaune and his Sirfetch'd blocked a pair of Darkballs trying to charge at them, the spherical Heartless bouncing back off their shields, and then cut them apart.
A large pack of Sabyrs emerged to bar the group's path, and at the center was an Alpha Sabyr – almost half-again the length & height of its brethren, more muscular, with serrated edges to its fangs and additional bone armor & spikes. The big Grimm let out a low, rumbling growl, and it & its fellows charged while spreading out wide, planning to attack from multiple angles. Jaune blocked a Sabyr's charging tackle, but the feline Grimm dashed away before he could strike back; Pyrrha thrusted her spear at the Alpha Sabyr, but it abruptly stopped its charge, and one of its subordinate Sabyrs tackled her from the side, making her Aura Barrier flare a little. The three humans and four Pokémon moved closer together, their backs to each other, as the Sabyrs continued circling them, waiting for openings…
Blake chopped off the head of a Sabyr that her Liepard had distracted. Nearby, Yang's Tyrogue made a Shadow flinch with a Fake-Out and then leapt on the little Heartless and pummeled it until it dispersed. Weiss' Glaceon blew an Icy Wind at the Metsuborg, briefly slowing it down a little and allowing her Trainer's summon to smash it with a stone-shattering punch. Rolling with the blow, the wolf-like monster swung its spiky-furred tail at the Arma Gigas Revenant, parrying the summon's sword swing and making it stagger back; the Metsuborg tried to capitalize on this, but had to break off and protect its head as Ruby fired a 'Shotlock' barrage of mana bolts at its lock-face.
Yang leapt back to avoid a stinging tail strike from the Alpha Manticore, punch-blasting fire bolts at the big Grimm to little effect. Her Torchic spat Embers at the Manticore's face, and then Bounced off a Shadow and came down on the old Grimm while wreathed in a Flame Charge, breaking off the tip of one of its horns. The Alpha Manticore snarled and snapped at the little bird, who used Agility to dodge, and Yang took the opportunity to get in behind the monster, grab its tail, and use a mighty blow to sever the appendage halfway down.
The Alpha Manticore roared in pained fury, thrashing the stump of its tail and slamming Yang back before she could get clear. The beast turned and stalked toward her, its footsteps shaking the ground, but then Torchic ran in and hit it in the face with a Sand Attack. Flailing blindly, the monster managed to smack the little bird with its intact horn, stunning him… and then, opening its jaw far too wide, the Alpha Manticore snapped the stunned Torchic up in one bite. The huge beast's throat visibly bulged as it swallowed the tiny bird whole.
Yang stared in stunned, overwhelmed disbelief and horror. …However, before that horror could transition into rage, something strange happened. The Alpha Manticore suddenly staggered, letting out a pained roar as beams of white light shone from within its chest. Then, the white was replaced by a roiling yellow-orange glow coming from rents torn in its flesh from within, and the massive Grimm roared in agony and then fell onto its side. Its chest bulged and tore, and then with a fierce cry, Combusken tore his way free with his new claws, flames still whirling around him. The Alpha Manticore's body rapidly began to disintegrate, as Yang stared, still stunned, at her newly-evolved Poké-partner as he panted for breath.
The two were brought back to focus by a loud crash as the Metsuborg managed to knock Weiss' summon over and then quickly tore its head off, though the darkling had a few glowing gashes in its sides and had lost part of its tail. With Blake, Liepard, and Tyrogue having finished off the smaller darklings, they and Yang & Combusken rejoined the fight against the Metsuborg.
Jaune managed to catch a charging Sabyr with a 'sword beam', destroying the speedy but fragile Grimm. Pirika snapped another's neck with a perfectly-timed kick, and Pyrrha caught a third with her iron sand, crushing its head. Pyrrha's Treecko latched onto the Alpha Sabyr's back, steering it away from Kubfu while casting a Giga Drain, sapping some of the Grimm's stamina and restoring a little of his own. Sirfetch'd hit the pack-leader Grimm with a Brick Break, cracking some of its bone armor, and then quickly brought his shield up to block a fangs-first headbutt that sent him tumbling back. Nosepass threw himself into the Alpha Sabyr's side with a Spark tackle, and then Treecko held on tight to avoid being shaken off as the Sabyr thrashed. Holding onto one of the monster's huge fangs, Treecko stared right into the Grimm's glowing yellow eyes…
…and then fired a point-blank Bullet Seed barrage right into said eyes. The Alpha Sabyr yowled and roared as the projectiles had enough force to penetrate into its skull, and soon the big cat-Grimm toppled over, disintegrating. Then, Treecko was engulfed in white light, his body growing and shifting. When the transformation finished, Grovyle only spent a few seconds getting his bearings before extending and lighting up his new forearm blades with yellowish-green light, rushing in and blindsiding a surviving Sabyr with a Fury Cutter barrage that quickly overwhelmed and killed it. He and Pyrrha then caught sight of each other.
"…Well!" she said after a few moments of shock. "Something good's come out of this incident, at least!"
Ruby leapt back after landing several blows with her Rumbling Rose, the Keyblade's power the most reliable method of causing serious harm to their current foe. The Metsuborg tried to rush at her, but Qrow's Absol hit its forelegs with a few Psycho Cuts, making it stagger. Yang got in close, landing multiple heavy blows to the monster's "face" and neck, but then the Metsuborg recovered faster than anticipated, smashing her with a headbutt and then knocking her away with a swipe of its clawed paw. Landing on her feet, Yang could feel her Semblance trying to surge to life, her hair flickering and her eyes turning red. However, she forcefully shut it down, pushing all that built-up energy deep down and locking it back up, her hair and eyes returning to normal.
Blake and Weiss distracted the Metsuborg with gunfire and "star bolts", allowing Qrow and Scyther to blitz in with a barrage of heavy scythe slashes and X-Scissor strikes. The Metsuborg was sent reeling, its not-flesh torn up, and finally Qrow switched his weapon to sword mode and, with all his might, cut the beast's lock-head off. As the rest of the Metsuborg's body disintegrated into motes of Darkness, the lock-head floated unsteadily, wobbling in the air. Ruby then leapt in with a downward slash with her Keyblade and the Metsuborg's core was sliced in two and then came apart.
Qrow keyed in his comm, contacting the base. "Cordovin, how are things going overall?"
"As well as they could, Mr. Branwen" the elderly base commander replied. "Casualties are at a minimum; you people and our defenses together are proving more than a match for this little incursion! …Wait. …Oh, no."
"What? What is it?"
The answer came in the form of a terrible roar that sounded out from just off the coast to the north, echoing throughout the city. Qrow shifted to bird form and flew up to atop the tallest nearby building he could find, shifting back and looking out at the sea… and he want pale as he saw the titanic monstrosity slowly wading its way toward the shore – massive sailfin on its back, webbed claws at the ends of its long and muscular arms, a dolphin-like head with size yellow-red eyes…
"It's a damn Leviathan…" he breathed out. "Cordovin! Please tell me you guys have something that can hurt that!"
"The good news is, we do" the woman replied. "The bad news is, there's a pack of Grimm and these other dark creatures preventing me from actually reaching our anti-titan weapon! Some of your allies are here and helping us try to make a path, but it's slow going; our perimeter defense shields can't stand up to that monster forever, and it'll probably get close enough to fire its breath weapon at the base or the city before I can get our mega-mech moving!"
"Then we'll stall it" Ruby cut in. "We'll buy you some time!"
"What?! That's preposterous! What can any single Hunter do against a colossus that size?!"
"…Is this channel secure?"
"Of course it is; it's an Atlas military channel! Why?"
"…I have a special ability that's super effective against creatures of darkness like the Grimm, though harmless to anything else. If I can get close enough, I can either take care of that thing or at least pin it down."
"…At this point, this wild idea is the best chance we have. Do it. But be careful. We'll try to hurry things along here."
Nodding, Ruby turned to her team. "Weiss, I need a lift!"
Nodding, Weiss summoned a Queen Lancer Revenant, letting Ruby board and ride it as it took off toward the coast.
-Break-
Everyone was making their way toward the base, intent on clearing out the darklings between Cordovin and whatever "mega-mech" she had stowed away. Out at sea, the Leviathan reared back and breathed out a stream of concentrated plasma at one of the city's barrier generators, overloading and destroying it, leaving the barrier flickering weakly. Multiple gunships and fighters swarmed around the titan, shooting it with heavy machineguns and rockets, but the beast barely felt the attacks; it swung one of its massive hands, swatting a gunship out of the sky. Then, it turned and fired another plasma wave at a second shield generator, and when that generator was destroyed, a massive gap opened up in the shimmering blue barrier, giving the beast free rein to approach the city.
But then, the Leviathan noticed a white speck fly into its field of view, ridden by a tiny red figure giving off the energy signatures of a Keyblade and a Relic. Closing her eyes, Ruby remembered Maria's teachings, focusing on the happy memories of everyone she held dear, all the fun and love and peace she'd experienced with them – her team, JNPPR, Penny, Xion and Celica, Uncle Qrow, her dad… Summer…
Life was beautiful. It was precious. And she would protect it.
Ruby opened her eyes, and the world turned silver. The Leviathan was engulfed in blinding light, rearing back in pain. When the light faded, the monster appeared to have been completely turned to stone. Ruby sighed in relief, feeling drained. …And then, she heard cracking sounds. Looking up, she gasped as she saw that the giant Grimm was merely encased in stone, and it was already beginning to break free…
"I'll take it from here!"
Turning, Ruby saw as a massive mecha charged out from the base, with a massive cannon for one arm and a huge drill for the other. Cordovin's mech fired an explosive shell that blasted much of the Leviathan's bony faceplate off, and then got in close and rammed the whirling drill into the titan's neck. The Leviathan began to evaporate rapidly as it died, stone sloughing off to fall into the sea at its feet. The mech then turned to face Ruby, the hatch opening.
"…Grimm-petrifying silver light from your eyes… I have to say, that's a new one."
"I-It can also blind Grimm, or just straight-up vaporize them. I only just recently figured out how to use this power at will, thanks to Maria; she used to have Silver Eyes until they were slashed out…"
"You'd think such an ability would be more widely-known… unless it's extremely rare?"
Ruby nodded. "There's only a teeny-tiny handful of us left, and other than me and Maria, none of us know who the others are or where in the world they are; it was pure chance that she found me and found out I had the same power she used to have."
"I see… Anyhow, as promised, we have an airship ready to take you group to Atlas. I'll throw in a couple of fighters as escort, too. Let's head on back and take care of cleanup, then get you kids moving."
-Break-
With the heroes volunteering to stay behind long enough to make double-sure the invading monsters were dead, it was almost sunset by the time they finally left. The Atlesian dropship with two escorting fighters flew north across the sea, ferrying our heroes to the floating city that was Solitas' capital. When they arrived, they saw the multitude of Atlas aerial warships flying in formation over Atlas and Mantle, along with a UNSC corvette stationed high overhead.
"Really hope Jimmy ain't planning to do anything stupid with all those ships…" Qrow remarked.
"I hear the UNSC's Fleet Admiral Hood has been doing his best to talk the General into staying sensible" Weiss said. "Here's hoping he's succeeding…"
-Break-
Back in the woods near Argus, a Mistrali airship landed in a clearing. Neo dropped her holographic disguise as she disembarked, with Cinder – in a new, black outfit – approaching with a satisfied smirk.
"It should get us to Solitas" she said. "After that, you might wanna try materializing yourself some snow boots."
Neo then used her Semblance to disguise the Mistrali airship as an Atlesian one, and the duo boarded the vessel…
-Break-
In the metaphysical astral plane where deities communed, several higher powers gathered to discuss what they had been informed of.
Mortis, Alicorn of Death and Change, sighed. "This… This is why it's customary for deities to incarnate as an amnesiac mortal and live a mortal lifetime at least once. So they can actually understand how mortals think, empathize with them, and make proportionate responses to their actions or transgressions. It is… painfully obvious that these 'Brother Gods' never did that. The callousness, the arrogance, the inability to empathize with mortal emotions, the inability to understand mortal grief, the grossly disproportionate response to the actions of only a few hundred people…"
"So, what can we do?" the Supreme Kai asked.
"First," Arceus replied, "we try and stabilize the situation. It would be very difficult for we who did not curse Salem with immortality to remove it from her. But we can at least do what we are able to aid the mortals who are trying to stop her. Breaking the curse of possession-reincarnation that the Light Brother inflicted upon Ozma is another thing we should research, though again I do not hold much hope that we, who did not perform that act, will be able to undo another deity's actions. In the meantime… I believe we should track down these negligent siblings and spell out to them their mistakes and failures."
"Indeed" Justitia said. "Salem's sins are partially her own, though the Grimm essence's corruption of her mind and soul is a considerable mitigating factor. But the Brothers were the ones who ultimately set this calamitous state of affairs in motion. If they had simply done more to comprehend mortal thought processes, conducted themselves better, this tremendous mess would never have happened."
Mortis nodded. "We'll all do what we can to salvage this situation and make the Brothers answer for what they've wrought. And hope that things do not become even worse in the interim…"
-Break-
Emerald and Mercury looked with great unease out the window of Evernight Castle, down at the horde of freshly-spawned Grimm congregated around the spawning pools, several of them brand-new species Salem had created in preparation for their next big operation. Meanwhile, in the castle meeting room, Salem and one other woman sat at the meeting table.
"I do sincerely appreciate you offering me this chance, Miss Salem" the newcomer said, a slight synthetic reverb to her suave, pseudo-British voice.
"Yes, well," Salem replied, sipping some tea, "I know how it feels to be cheated of what you deserve in the eleventh hour. Your technical skill and knowledge should come in very useful; even with Watts and the Predacons onboard, we could always use more technologically-savvy members of our little organization. Especially since you are bringing a whole new branch of knowledge to us."
"Personally, I am quite looking forward to the opportunity to learn and study magic. Perhaps the knowledge and skill I'll gain will enable me to bring those renegade servants back to heel, working for my people instead of 'with' them. And of course, there are those 'galactic heroes' who ruined everything…"
"The leader of whom, I am informed, is quite dangerous. And also the recently-wed husband of the other primary target for your vengeance. I do believe our assistance will be useful in aiding you toward that endeavor as well."
"Indeed. Rest assured, Miss Salem, once I have the necessary materials, I shall do my part. The monsters and minions who serve you sorceresses will be more dangerous than ever."
Salem quirked an eyebrow. "Truly? Do recall that, in the short term at least, we are up against some fairly capable adversaries. One of them, in particular, is proving to be a very difficult nut to crack. I've even heard whispers that breaking her may be impossible. I'm interested in what you'll come up with to address that… Miss Xen."
A chuckle. "Well, it's like I've always said…" The power-hungry Quarian crossed her arms. "Many things are 'impossible'… until they are done…"
-CHAPTER END-
Ruby was able to use her Silver Eyes first try in this timeline because here Yang is whole, Pyrrha is alive, and she knows Penny's alive much earlier than canon
Adam is still training under Close and Tyrian; it'll be a while before he fights the heroes again.
And now, an announcement. Before I plan out future developments, I need to see what sort of aftereffects canon Volumes 7 & 8 have, so I can see what adjustments I should make, how things might change in the Travels-verse. To that end, Teana's Travels is going on hiatus until RWBY Volume 9 airs. I need to see what the consequences of canon V7 & V8 are, if Team RWBY (and Jaune) ending up… wherever the hell they've ended up ends up being necessary for the primary plot due to some epiphany or revelation or other majorly major development that might happen in where-the-hell-are-they. I need to see what repercussions Canon!Ironwood figuratively falling and Atlas literally falling have on the rest of the world. And I'm hoping we'll learn a bit more about Salem and what she's going to do next.
So, unless I randomly come up with another big plot to occupy the coming months, Teana's Travels will be going silent until RWBY Volume 9, so you can hopefully expect to see things pick back up in November or December. In the meantime, I might start an entirely separate story idea I've developed, though it'll be over on Archive Of Our Own (in addition to the numerous, unconnected Explicit-rated fics I have on my account there…).
See you guys later. Unless I die or my house burns down or I get arrested or something.