The next time Emma awoke, the sun was streaming through the edges of the blinds. She stretched, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and smiled. "Good morning, Allison! How are…"
As she rolled over to look at the baby, her heart leapt into her throat at the sight of the empty infant seat. The rational part of her knew Killian was taking care of Allison, but the nervous mother in her was thinking the worst. Throwing the sheet off, her feet hit the floor and she rushed out of the room.
When she got to the end of the hallway, she relaxed at seeing Allison being held in Killian's arms, blinking up at him and chewing on her fist while he rocked and sang:
As she stepped away from me and she moved through the fair
And fondly I watched her move here and move there
And then she turned homeward with one star awake
Like the swan in the evening moves over the lake
"Is it you the song is speaking of, my little Swan princess?" Emma heard him ask with a chuckle. "My mother, Alice, sang this song to your Uncle Liam and me when we were lads. I wish you could know your grandmother, Alli, but at least you carry her name."
Emma heard Allison beginning to fuss and Killian tried to quiet her. "Sh-shh, mo stoirin. Just let your mama sleep a bit longer…"
"I'm awake, Killian," she said, walking into the living room.
He looked up with a beaming smile. "Good morning, Sweetness. I held her off as long as I could, but it's been nearly three hours since she ate."
"I didn't even hear her crying," Emma said, with a hint of embarrassment in her voice.
"It's no wonder, Love - you were beyond exhausted. I heard her starting to stir through the monitor and wanted to get to her before she woke you up."
"How long ago was that?" Emma asked, holding out her arms to take the baby from him.
He checked the clock. "About twenty minutes ago, give or take. I put Zeke outside then rocked Alli for a little while. It hasn't been long."
"Do you have to start working at any certain time today?" she asked, taking Killian's place in the recliner.
"I don't have a set schedule. I'm working on a project and I just have to get it finished by the end of the week."
Emma prepared to feed Allison, smiling and cooing at her as she reached for the nursing blanket. Killian helped her spread it out over her lap and shoulder before asking, "What would you like for breakfast, Love?"
"Would you mind making chocolate chip pancakes?"
"Of course not. I'll get right on it after I let Zeke in."
"Thanks, Babe. You're the best!" Emma called after him as he left the room.
"I know!" she heard him respond, making her giggle.
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Once Alli was fed, burped, changed and put into her bouncer to snooze, Emma followed the smell of pancakes into the kitchen.
"They're almost ready, Love," Killian told her, lifting the edge of one of the cakes with a spatula to check it.
Emma stepped behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his back. "You're far too good to me, Killian."
"There's no such thing as being too good to you, Sweetness," he replied, using his free hand to stroke her arm. "You and Allison Hope deserve all the goodness in the world."
"So, what story were you going to tell me?"
"What do you mean?"
"Last night when I was having doubts about being a mother, you said you had a story to tell me that would help me feel better."
"Ah, yes." He scooped the pancakes off of the griddle, stacked them on the plate beside the stove, and turned off the burner. "I'll tell you over breakfast."
Since he already had everything on the table, all they had to do was sit down to eat. Killian waited until they had each taken a couple of bites before he began.
"Emma, I know you're nervous about doing things right with Allison, but you appear to be a natural. I remember Liam telling me when Declan was born that Rose had trouble nursing him because she was making both of them so anxious. It took a couple of days before she was able to relax enough to be able to breastfeed him. You don't seem to be having that trouble."
"That doesn't mean I'm not nervous."
"I understand, and babies don't come with instruction manuals so we'll have to learn as we go. I just wanted you to know that you're already off to a good start. You've shown patience and determination, and it's very apparent how much you love her. Just watching you with her melts my heart."
Emma blushed at the praise. "Thank you, Killian, but you need to know that you're a big part of why I'm doing okay so far. If it weren't for you, I'd be trying to take care of Allison by myself in a homeless shelter. You've given me - us - a home, and Alli has a mother and a father…"
Just then, Zeke stuck his nose over the edge of the table to sniff at Killian's plate of pancakes. After nudging him aside, Killian added with a chuckle, "and a furry big brother!"
Emma giggled as she cut and placed another forkful of food into her mouth.
"I think we make quite the team, Swan," Killian said, ignoring the fact that Emma was sneaking Zeke a bit of plain pancake.
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Friends dropped by every day the first week, calling first to make sure the new parents were up to receiving visitors. The day after they brought Allison home, Eva and Leo Blanchard visited briefly to bring a small basket full of necessities. Emma pulled out items like diaper rash ointment, baby nail clippers, alcohol swabs for the umbilical cord, cradle cap cream, and GasX infant drops.
"These are all things I wish I would have known about when I first brought Mary Margaret home," Eva explained. "I know many things have changed since then, but sometimes tried and true remedies are still the best. After Mary Margaret talked to you this morning, she told me the baby was really fussy last night and wouldn't burp. These gas drops might help with that."
"Thank you. I felt so helpless last night when Alli seemed to be in pain and I couldn't do anything to help her."
"You'll figure it out in time," Eva reassured her. "All new parents feel overwhelmed and unsure of themselves. By the time we had Mary Margaret, all of our friends already had children, so we were given all kinds of advice. We still weren't prepared for those first weeks of having our own newborn, though. Parenting is a hard job!"
Emma laughed. "Yeah, I'm finding that out already!"
Will and Belle stopped in the next evening, bringing a large container of soup and some crusty bread. Allison was being especially fussy while they were there, and Will surprised everyone by asking to hold the incessantly crying infant. They were further surprised when within a few minutes of holding her draped over his forearm tummy down, she grew calm and went to sleep.
"Wow, Will! You must be the baby whisperer!" Emma commented, taking note of how he held her and swayed back and forth.
"I don't think we should be shocked at how fast she went to sleep for him," Killian chipped in. "I've heard he has a knack for boring women to sleep!"
"Oi!" Will protested quietly so as not to wake Allison. "Nobody asked for your opinion, Jones!"
Belle and Emma giggled as the two men bantered back and forth, but Belle secretly admired how comfortable her boyfriend was with the baby.
Thomas, Ashley and Alexandra visited on Thursday evening. The married couple watched their daughter to see how she would interact with Allison, then told Emma and Killian that Alexandra was going to be a big sister in a little less than seven months. Emma hugged Ashley as Killian shook Thomas's hand to congratulate the couple.
Killian drove over to pick up Marco on Friday afternoon so he could come see the baby and Emma again. He insisted on bringing along the ingredients for his famous homemade spaghetti sauce and cooked the evening meal. Emma took several pictures of the elderly man rocking Allison in the chair he and Killian had made, marking one of them as a favorite so she could get it printed and framed to give to Marco as a gift.
The days were busy as Emma and Killian learned to parent Allison together, and the nights seemed unending since she always had long crying spells in the wee hours of the morning. Before they knew it, almost a week had passed since Alli was born and they had a hard time remembering what it was like before she entered their lives.
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"Dave is going to go with me to get some groceries when he and Mary Margaret come over today," Killian informed Emma on Saturday morning.
"Okay," Emma responded listlessly.
Killian stopped slicing strawberries and turned to look at her. "Are you alright, Sweetness?"
She sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired and…" her words trailed off as she planted her elbow on the table and leaned her cheek against her fist.
He sat down and reached across the table to run his fingers up and down her arm. "And what, Emma?"
"I'm...I'm really nervous about you going back to work next week."
"I can ask my boss if…"
"No!" she interrupted vehemently. "You've already taken more time off than you probably should have taken. I'm just not sure I can do this by myself."
"I'm certain you can, but if it makes you feel more comfortable, you can take Mary Margaret up on her offer to come over and help you during the day."
"I hate to ask her to give up so much of her time."
"Haven't you noticed how much she loves Allison? She calls every day and Dave says she's been dying to come over and hold her again. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."
"I know, but I should be able to take care of my daughter by myself."
"You are able to do that, but you don't have to. As they say - it takes a village to raise a child. You've got a lot of people who are willing to help."
The sound of Allison beginning to cry came through the monitor and Emma got up to go get her. Killian returned to preparing their breakfast, knowing Emma would feed the baby as she sat in the rocking chair in her room, since that had become their morning routine.
By the time his two girls entered the kitchen, he had already eaten and had pancakes and fresh fruit waiting for Emma. She handed Alli off to him and sat down to eat as she watched him bouncing the baby in his arms, talking to her sweetly.
After a couple of minutes, he commented, "There's my big, strong girl!" Emma looked up from her plate to see Alli holding her head upright, looking Killian in the face. "I know I only look like a blob to you, but I hope you at least know I'm your papa blob!"
Emma giggled at his words. "She's a smart girl; she knows who's holding her, don't you, Alli?"
Allison gurgled, then burped and laid her head back down on Killian's chest. Her tiny fingers tangled in the chain around his neck and he gently uncurled them before turning to look at the clock.
"M's and Dave should be here in about an hour, Love. Do you want to take a shower?"
"Yeah, I probably should since Alli is content for now." She finished the last bite of her pancakes and carried the plate to the sink to rinse it off. Then she turned to press a kiss to Allison's head and shared a kiss with Killian, too.
"Mmm, that tastes sweet," he hummed.
"That's because of the syrup," she chuckled.
"No, it's because I'm kissing the woman I love."
Her heart melted. "I love you too, Babe - more than I can begin to tell you."
His answering smile was bright and he leaned in to share another lingering kiss with her before she scooted away to head into the bathroom.
As he continued to rub Allison's back and hum to her, Killian thought about the unusual circumstances of his and Emma's relationship. He had to admit he had a very strong physical attraction to his girlfriend - one he desperately wanted to explore. Just sharing those brief kisses with her caused a stirring in his groin and he was sure that as their love grew deeper, it would only become more difficult to resist temptation.
He knew it was important for their relationship to be built solidly on trust and devotion before they moved to the physical phase. Emma had told him enough about Neal Cassidy for him to realize the guy used Emma's vulnerabilities to take advantage of her. He had learned that she longed for acceptance and love, and offered those things to her superficially so she would give herself to him.
Killian wanted Emma to know how a physical relationship felt when people were really and truly in love. In all honesty, he wanted to know that feeling for himself, too. He had only ever been in a sexual relationship with the older woman he dated in college, who turned out to be married, and over time he realized he only thought he was in love with her. The feelings he had for Emma were so much stronger and deeper, and he had no doubt that this time he was really in love.
Of course, their romantic relationship was still new too, even though they'd known each other for several months. He was enjoying the physical touches they shared so often now; the hugs, massages, hand holding, cuddling, and the kisses. He could hardly be around her without touching or caressing her in some way to let her know he cared for her, and she was becoming more comfortable reciprocating those touches with every passing day.
So he was willing to wait until he knew they were both on the same page when it came to taking their relationship to that next, most intimate level. He couldn't take the risk of breaking the strengthening, but still fragile, thread of trust which he had established with her. She had a lifetime of insecurities to overcome in order to fully put her faith in him, and he vowed to be patient for as long as necessary.
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Mary Margaret and David arrived later that morning and Emma immediately rose from the recliner to transfer Allison into Mary Margaret's waiting arms.
"Look at you, Alli," she crooned, "you're getting so big already! Have you missed your Aunt Mary Margaret?"
She continued to babble to the baby, who wrinkled her forehead as she sucked on her pacifier. David watched the scene for several moments before turning to Killian and asking him if he was ready to go to the grocery store.
Killian knew his friend was anxious to get to the jeweler since David had texted him earlier in the week to say he had the choices for his girlfriend's engagement ring narrowed down to three. Killian kissed Emma and Allison goodbye, scratched Zeke behind the ears, and led David out to the garage.
As he maneuvered his car along the busy streets, he said, "I forgot to ask - why aren't you and Mary Margaret helping at the church this morning?"
"The only thing going on today was the book exchange and Elsa is in charge of that. Mary Margaret was actually pretty happy to have the day off because she's been chomping at the bit to get back over here to spend time with Emma and the baby."
"Oh, that's right, it is the Saturday for the exchange. I've completely lost track of the days since Alli was born. Independence Day seems like it was ages ago, when in actuality, it's only been a week."
"Are you ready to go back to work?"
"No," Killian answered immediately. "If I had my way, I'd stay home for several weeks, but Emma is insistent that I go back. I hate to leave them all day, but I also want to give Emma the chance to take care of Allison on her own. She isn't confident in her mothering abilities yet."
"She's doing okay though, isn't she?"
"She's amazing with Allison! It hasn't been easy at times, but we're both learning and Alli is thriving."
"Sounds like parenting agrees with you, man!"
"There's really nothing like it, Dave. Even though it can be exhausting, I'm loving every minute of it!"
"Even the ones when she's screaming in the middle of the night?"
"Well, those I could probably do without, but you have to take the bad with the good, and most of it is good."
The friends fell silent for a couple of minutes, before Killian asked, "Have you decided how you're going to propose to M's yet?"
"I've booked five days at a cabin in the mountains during the last week of July. I plan to ask her while we're there."
"Do you think she suspects anything?"
David shrugged. "I don't think so, although she might once she finds out about the trip. I hope she doesn't, though; I really want to take her by surprise."
"Surprised or not, she's going to be thrilled, Dave. I'm very excited for both of you!"
"I might be jumping the gun here, but I hope you'll agree to be my best man."
"Of course I will! I would be honored!"
Killian located a parking space in front of the jewelry store, pulled in, and cut the engine. David unfastened his seatbelt and turned to face his friend. "I'm leaning towards one of the three rings in particular, but I want to get your unbiased opinion. After all, you've known Mary Margaret for as long as I have!"
"That's true, but I haven't known her as intimately as you have," Killian teased.
"You better not have!" David replied, attempting to look stern, but failing.
Killian was laughing as he exited the car, and he clapped his friend on the shoulder as they walked to the front door of the jeweler's. "I'll give you my honest opinion, mate. Hopefully it will match your choice."
They entered the store and the woman behind the counter looked up with a smile. She recognized David and said, "Hello again, Mr. Nolan! Would you like for me to bring out the rings you've selected?"
"That would be great, Aurora. Thanks!"
While they were waiting, Killian strolled around the store, looking into the showcases.
"Are you getting some ideas?" David smirked.
"It's a bit premature for that, don't you think, mate?" Killian replied. "I would like to get Emma something, though. I've heard they can take a baby's footprint and make it into jewelry."
"We CAN do that," Aurora said as she stepped back into the room. "If that's something you're interested in, I can help you with it."
"Thank you. Perhaps you can give me some information before we leave."
"Of course! Here are your choices, Mr. Nolan," the saleswoman said, setting a small slotted tray covered with black velvet on top of the glass showcase.
David and Killian went to stand in front of the case, peering down at the three glittering rings it contained. Killian studied all three equally, then asked, "May I take them out for a closer look?"
"Absolutely! Here's a cloth you can use to hold them in order to avoid getting the oil from your hands on them."
"Thanks," he said, pinching the cloth between two fingers and his thumb and using it to pull out the first ring. After examining it thoroughly, he replaced it and repeated the process with the other two.
He could tell David was practically holding his breath as he scrutinized each ring. Finally, he pointed to the one he had looked at first and declared, "I think Mary Margaret would like that one the most. The stone matches the color of her eyes and the setting is simple, but stunning."
The ring featured a round cut peridot solitaire in an open setting, on a tapered platinum band.
David blew out a breath and chuckled. "That's the same one I had picked out!"
"Excellent!" Aurora exclaimed. "It's always nice when there's a consensus! Shall I start the paperwork for you?"
"Yes, please. Will I be able to take it with me today?"
"I'll get Phillip to make sure it's flawlessly cleaned and once you've made a payment, it's yours!"
She disappeared into the back room with the tray and David looked at Killian with an ear-to-ear grin. "Now I just have to propose!"
"I'm happy for you, Dave."
"She hasn't accepted yet."
"I have no doubt she will. You two were made for each other!"
Aurora returned with a pamphlet which she handed to Killian. "Here is some information about our keepsake jewelry. I thought you might like to look it over while we fill out Mr. Nolan's order form."
"Thanks very much," Killian said, already studying the front cover of the leaflet. By the time David and Aurora had completed their business and the ring box was in his possession, Killian had decided what he wanted to get for Emma.
About three months after they met, he asked her about the swan medallion she wore on a long chain around her neck, and she told him it was from a keychain Neal had stolen for her. When he asked why she still wore it, she had quietly replied that she kept it as a reminder not to trust anyone.
One of the pieces of jewelry featured in the pamphlet was a silver necklace with a round pendant on which was a laser etched image of a footprint or fingerprint. All Killian had to do was bring in the print the nurse had made of Allison's foot when she was born and the jeweler would make it into a necklace. He hoped it would replace the swan necklace, not only as a piece of jewelry, but also for what it meant to her.
He told David about it on the way to the grocery store and his friend agreed that it would make a perfect gift for Emma. Both men considered their trip to the jewelry store a success.
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The next day, Emma convinced Killian to go to church because she wanted to see how she would do with Allison by herself for that short amount of time. When he finally walked out the door after numerous kisses to the baby and his girlfriend, Emma wandered through the house and into her bedroom with Alli in her arms.
"You're a whole week old, baby," she murmured, "and I haven't screwed up too badly, have I?" Allison yawned widely in response and Emma giggled. "Am I boring you? I suppose you'd rather have your papa here to sing to you, wouldn't you? I don't blame you - I love hearing him sing, too."
Sitting down in her rocking chair, she stroked her fingers over her daughter's silky blonde hair. "I know my voice isn't as good as your daddy's, but I'll have to do for now, sweet pea." She nestled Allison in her arms and began to sing one of the songs she had learned from listening to Killian.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
You make me happy when skies are gray,
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away."
As she watched Allison drifting off to sleep, Emma whispered, "No one will ever take you away from me, Alli. You will always know what it's like to be loved and wanted, I promise you that."
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Everyone at church eagerly asked for updates on the new mother and baby, and Killian proudly showed them pictures on his phone. He had trouble concentrating during the service because he kept wondering how Emma was getting along, and after being with her and Alli twenty-four hours a day for a week, he missed them.
As soon as the service was over and he could politely leave, he hurried to his car to go home. When he walked into the house, he scanned the empty kitchen and living room then strode down the hallway to Emma's room. What he saw from the doorway made his heart swell. Allison was swaddled and asleep in her crib, while Emma slept in her bed with Zeke curled up by her side.
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On Monday, Killian reluctantly went back to work and Mary Margaret came over to stay with Emma and Allison for the day. The young mother was able to sleep for nearly two hours in the afternoon while Mary Margaret looked after the baby. She returned the next day, for which Emma was grateful, but was unable to spend the day with them on Wednesday due to plans she had with her mother.
Allison slept better Tuesday night than she had since they brought her home, only waking up three times to be fed and going back to sleep almost immediately afterwards. Each time she woke up, Killian went into the room to check on them, returning to bed after being assured by Emma that she could handle it herself.
She continued to reassure him in the morning as he got ready for work, worrying about leaving his girls. The minute he walked out the door, her nerves began to kick in at the thought of several hours of taking care of Allison by herself.
"We can do this, can't we Zekey boy?" she asked, patting her canine companion on the head. Allison was asleep in her swing so Emma took the opportunity to clean up the kitchen from breakfast.
She spent the rest of the morning alternating between rocking and feeding her daughter, while she read one of the books Killian had given her. He sent texts every couple of hours and called her at lunchtime to find out how things were going.
When Alli fell asleep after eating early in the afternoon, Emma strapped her into her bouncer and put it in the bathroom while she took a quick shower. She also figured out how to use the breast pump so she could store a few ounces of milk, and even got some work done for Granny on the laptop.
Allison was very fussy for over an hour just before Killian came home from work. Emma tried everything she could think of to calm the crying baby and was close to tears herself when she decided that getting some fresh air might help. She tied a tiny pink bonnet Eva had made onto Allison, then wrapped an infant carrier around herself and placed Alli inside so she was snuggled up to her chest.
After attaching Zeke's leash, they went outside and walked up and down the sidewalk in front of the house several times. Allison continued fussing for the first two trips, but by the time they passed the house the third time, she was contentedly chewing on her fist, and was sound asleep soon afterwards.
Emma had just turned up the walkway to their home when she saw Killian's car coming down the street. She changed direction and crossed the front yard to meet him after he pulled into the garage.
"Hey, Sweetness," he said, jumping out of the car as soon as he shut off the engine. He gave Zeke some attention before making his way over to Emma to give her a kiss, then pulled the edge of the baby carrier back to peek in at Allison. "Looks like your first day alone with her was a success, Love."
"Yeah, we survived!" Emma replied with a grin.
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Later that evening, Killian was holding Alli, who kept turning toward his chest and rooting with her mouth. "Swan, are you almost done in the kitchen? I think our daughter is going to figure out that I can't feed her pretty soon."
"Who says you can't?" Emma asked, holding out a bottle as she came into the room.
Killian looked up at her in surprise, then a smile slowly stretched across his face. "You figured it out!"
"Once I got over my fear of using it wrong and pulling my boob off, it was actually fairly easy!"
He laughed as he repositioned the baby in his arms and reached out to take the bottle. Emma plucked a burp rag off the back of the couch and draped it over his shoulder, then sat on the arm of the recliner beside him.
It took Alli a little while to get used to the bottle and she kept squealing in frustration. Killian tried changing the position of the nipple several times until she finally seemed comfortable with it and began to eat.
"It looks like you have everything under control. I'm going to finish scrubbing out that casserole dish," Emma said, kissing him on top of the head before leaving the room.
After Allison drank almost two ounces, Killian set the bottle on the end table and held Allison up to his shoulder to burp her. He tried for nearly ten minutes, walking around the living room as he jiggled and patted her on the back. "Give papa a big burp," he encouraged the fussy baby.
Finally she emitted a small burp and he sat back down to finish feeding her, but before he could reposition her, he felt the warmth of spit-up on his shoulder where the cloth had slipped off. He turned her around to wipe off her face and she spewed a whole stream of milk all over him, then let out a huge burp that would make a college frat boy proud.
"Oh my gosh!" he exclaimed.
Emma came running in from the kitchen. "What's wrong?" she asked, then took one look at him and realized what had happened.
Killian looked down at himself as he felt the wetness soaking through his clothes. The left side of his shirt was drenched and he had a puddle of milk vomit in his lap.
Emma took Allison and strapped her into the swing then ran into the bathroom to grab a towel and a wet washcloth. Killian was beginning to unbutton his shirt when she returned and started using the washcloth to wipe off his chest. A jolt went through his body as her fingertips brushed across his bare skin and he looked up to lock eyes with her.
She paused with her hand still on his chest, then he slowly reached up to cover it with his own. Their eyes searched each other's as the contact between them created almost palpable sparks of electricity.
After several seconds, he took the washcloth from her to finish cleaning his chest and she used the towel to start mopping up the mess in his lap. As she rubbed it across his crotch over and over again, his body began to react to her touch. Grabbing her wrist, he croaked, "It's alright, Emma, I've got this now. Thanks for helping me."
She backed away from the chair so he could stand up, then watched as he finished unbuttoning his shirt and removed it. She had never seen him bare-chested in all the time she'd been living with him, and had only ever seen peeks of his chest hair. Now she had trouble pulling her eyes away from his toned chest and abs, and the generous amount of dark hair which covered them. Her fingers itched to run through it so she could determine if it felt soft or coarse.
Killian seemed to realize the reaction Emma was having to seeing him half-undressed and took the towel from her to finish wiping himself off and hide the effect she'd had on him. "I, uh, I better go...take a shower," he muttered.
"Yeah, um, I...I'll check Allison to make sure she doesn't need to be changed."
He stumbled to his room and grabbed his pajamas before heading to the bathroom. Once he was in the shower, he planted both hands against the tile wall on either side of the faucet and let the streams of cool water cascade over his head and back. "Bloody hell," he whispered hoarsely, trying to get himself under control.
Meanwhile in the living room, Emma decided that Alli must have just had a massive air bubble built up, because she was sleeping soundly in her swing as if nothing had ever happened. Emma, on the other hand, was taking large gulps of air to calm herself down since the image of her boyfriend's sexy body was imprinted in her brain. She didn't know how much longer she could hold out before giving in to the physical temptation he presented to her.
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The couple adjusted to parenting more and more in the following weeks. They worked through nights with very little sleep, and helped Allison overcome diaper rash, cradle cap and a slight cold. Emma dealt with engorgement and cracked, sore nipples, but continued to breastfeed and pump her milk to give Killian the opportunity to feed Alli when he got home every day.
At Allison's two week appointment, the doctor was very pleased with how healthy she was and how much she was growing. Killian had taken off work for the check-up and could see how much the praise meant to Emma.
He had read about postpartum depression and kept a close eye on Emma to detect any signs of it. Mary Margaret still dropped in a couple of times a week while Killian was at work, but most of the time, Emma was alone with Allison throughout the day. He texted and called her and she always assured him she was fine, but there were days when he could tell she was becoming a bit overwhelmed.
He encouraged her to get outside and enjoy the sunshine whenever she could, and she had gotten into the habit of putting Alli in the stroller or baby carrier and taking Zeke along for a walk around the block every morning.
One day when Allison was a little over a month old, he arrived home to find Emma sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands while the baby's cries could be heard coming through the monitor.
"What's the matter, Love?" he asked, with concern lacing his voice.
"I can't get her to stop crying," she sobbed. "I don't know what's wrong. I tried feeding her and burping her, I checked her diaper, and tried putting her down for a nap, but she won't sleep. Why can't I figure this out? "
"Is she in the crib?" he asked.
Emma nodded emphatically and he squeezed her shoulder. "I'm going to go get her. Will you be okay until I get back?"
She nodded again and he hurried back the hallway to find Allison screaming and red-faced in her crib. KIllian picked her up and held her to his shoulder, rubbing her back and murmuring comforting words.
Emma was still sitting in the same position when he returned to the kitchen and he looked around to find Zeke, who was laying on the couch in the living room. "Come here, buddy," he commanded.
The dog trotted behind him as Killian collected the leash from the coat rack.
"Why don't you take Zeke for a walk, Sweetness?" he asked, laying the leash on the table in front of her.
She dragged her teary eyes up to look at him as he held the crying infant. "You just got home from work; you shouldn't have to deal with her as soon as you walk in the door."
"I've been looking forward to being home with the three of you all day. I'll take care of her while you go get some fresh air."
She shrugged half-heartedly. "If you're sure…"
"I am. I'll order dinner from your favorite Mexican restaurant and have it delivered. How does that sound?"
She managed a small smile. "Really good. Thank you, Killian."
"You're welcome." He watched her clip the leash onto Zeke's collar and stand up. "Take as long as you want. If Alli needs to eat, I'll heat up one of the bottles in the fridge."
As she started walking toward the front door, he called out, "Hey, Emma?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
This time, her smile was bright and genuine. "I love you, too, Babe. Be back in a bit."
Allison was still whimpering and chewing on her fist as Killian retrieved a bottle from the refrigerator and began going about the process of heating it up. While it was sitting in the bottle warmer, he made two phone calls. The first was to place their order for food, and the second was to Mary Margaret.
Emma and Zeke returned almost forty minutes later to a quiet house and her favorite Mexican meal being kept warm in the oven. "How did you get her to stop crying?" she asked, rubbing Allison's back as Killian held her against his chest.
"I tried giving her the GasX drops Eva gave us and she finally let out a big burp…" at Emma's raised eyebrows, he quickly added, "no vomit this time! According to the books, I think she might have colic, so we may have to try a different type of bottle since she seems to be getting a lot of air in her tummy."
"Poor baby! We can do some research on a better kind, but first I want to eat. The food smells amazing!"
She quickly washed her hands as Killian filled Zeke's food bowl before the two sat down to eat.
"I made sure not to get the spicy salsa because it might upset Alli's stomach through your breastmilk," he informed her.
"You're always so thoughtful, Killian," she said, kissing his cheek. Then he went to put Allison in her bouncer and carried it into the kitchen.
They ate in silence for several minutes until Killian informed Emma, "I'd like to take you out on a date tomorrow night, Love."
She looked up from her plate, startled by what he had said. "What do you mean by a date?"
"It's one of those things where two people go out together to a movie or dinner and…"
"I know what a date is, or at least I've heard about them - I've never really been on one myself. What I mean is, how are we supposed to go on a date with Alli?"
"She's not coming with us; I asked Mary Margaret and David to stay with her while we're gone."
"I don't know, Killian. They just got engaged and they might not want to spend an evening watching a baby."
"They already agreed."
"But what if she acts like she did this afternoon and…"
"They'll be able to handle it for a couple of hours, Sweetness. You need to get out of the house, and I've been looking forward to taking you on our first real date. I already have the reservations made. We're just going out to eat, then I thought we could take a stroll around the park that's close to the restaurant. Please say yes, Swan."
Emma chewed on her lip for a few seconds while she contemplated. "That does sound really nice, and it would be fun to go out together, so yes, Killian Jones - I would love to go on a date with you!"
His answering grin chased away the last of her sadness.
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The next evening, Killian arrived home to find Alli asleep in her swing, and Emma wearing a light blue, sleeveless dress with a white lace overlay. The knee-length skirt flared out from her waist and the scooped neckline was modest. Her hair fell in soft waves around her shoulders and she had applied light make-up to accentuate her green eyes and soft, pink lips.
Killian licked his own lips when he saw her, his mouth suddenly dry at the sight of his beautiful girlfriend. "You look stunning, Swan," he breathed.
Her cheeks filled with color as she looked down at herself. "Thank you, Killian. Mary Margaret brought this over today for me to borrow and then helped me with my hair and makeup. Allison slept for nearly three hours this afternoon, which gave me enough time to get ready. I just fed her again a few minutes ago before I put the dress on, so she shouldn't be hungry again for a while."
"That's good. Let me change into a different shirt. I talked to Dave on the way home and he said they'd be here at five-thirty."
He went into his bedroom, peeled off the shirt he had worn to work, and selected a dark blue button-down with a subtle lighter blue stripe. Then he pulled open his sock drawer and took out the box from the jeweler's, which he had picked up earlier in the week.
"I already fed Zeke," she informed him when he rejoined her in the living room. He could tell she was nervous by the way she was twisting her hands together.
"I, uh, I got you something, Love." He held out the square black box and watched her hesitantly take it from his hand. Giving him a quizzical look, she slowly lifted the lid.
The silver pendant lay nestled on top of the black velvet cloth. Emma carefully pulled it from the box and held it up for a closer look. When she realized what was inside the circle, she drew in a quick breath and looked up at Killian. "Is that…"
"Alli's footprint. The jeweler has a way of laser etching it into the pendant. I was hoping it could replace the swan necklace that you wear."
Emma beamed at him. "Oh, Killian! It's lovely! I've never had such a beautiful and meaningful piece of jewelry!"
"Let me help you put it on," he said, reaching to take it from her. Before he stepped behind her to fasten the clasp, she tugged the chain with the swan pendant over her head and dropped it onto the end table.
After he secured the new necklace around her neck, Emma reached up to run her fingers lovingly over the smooth surface of the medallion. Killian took her shoulders and slowly turned her around to face him. "When you wear this, Emma, I want it to remind you that now you have people you can trust."
Her eyes filled with tears and she flung her arms around him. "I will, Killian. Thank you so much!"
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Their date was exactly what Emma needed to get her out of the house and help her relax. They ate at a steakhouse and Killian helped her order since it was her first time to eat at one. She saved half of her ribeye steak to take home, but completely devoured the baked sweet potato and cooked carrots.
After dinner, they walked hand-in-hand through the park, stopping to sit on a wooden bench for a while to watch the ducks and swans swim on the small pond. When Emma began checking her phone frequently for messages from Mary Margaret, Killian determined that it was time to go home.
"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I just haven't been away from Allison since she was born and I…"
"There's no reason to explain, Sweetness. I'm ready to get home to her, too."
When they arrived home, they were relieved to discover that Alli hadn't been very fussy for her babysitters. She was sound asleep in Mary Margaret's arms, barely stirring when Emma took her to swaddle her and put her in the crib. Then David and Mary Margaret bid the other couple goodnight and left.
Killian led Emma to the couch and sank down, encouraging her to join him. When she did, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and tucked her into his side. "Would you like to watch something, Swan?"
"Not really. Some music would be nice, though."
He pulled out his phone, tapped on a music app, selected a favorite playlist, and set the phone on the end table when the first song began to play.
"Tonight has been really nice, Killian."
"Yes it has. We'll have to do it more often."
"I'd like that."
When the next song began to play, he moved to stand up. "Would you like to dance, Swan?"
"Oh, um, I don't...I've never…" she stammered, a blush coloring her cheeks.
"When it comes to dancing, there's only one rule - pick a partner who knows what he's doing."
He urged her to her feet and encircled her waist with his arms, pulling her close to him. She automatically reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes. His smile helped put her at ease, and he began moving them in a small circle in the middle of the living room.
As he hummed along to the song, she rested her head on his chest and sighed. Soon he was quietly singing the lyrics and she looked up at him.
"I love to listen to you sing," she murmured.
"Is that a fact?" he asked, looking at her flirtatiously and cocking an eyebrow. "What else do you love?"
"You," she answered simply.
He lowered his mouth to cover hers for a few brief seconds.
"And your kisses," she breathed.
"Yeah?"
"Mmmhmmm. Very much."
He brought his hands up to frame her face, tilting her head slightly. Then he leaned in to whisper, "I love you and your kisses very much, too, Love," and captured her lips once again.
Emma ran her hands through his hair as the kiss deepened, and was soon welcoming his exploring tongue into the warmth of her mouth. He dropped his hands to grasp her hips and pulled her closer.
Killian kissed across her cheek to suck on the spot just under her ear, then ran his tongue around the lobe and shell of it, and down the length of her neck, causing her to shiver and moan at the new sensations.
Her hands began to move, rubbing and scratching across his back, urging him on. When he began to run his tongue across her collarbone, creating more pleasant flutterings throughout her body, she suddenly realized she needed to slow things down.
"Killian, I think we need to...umm...to stop before things get carried away. I can't...I'm not ready yet."
"I know you've been hurt in the past, Emma, but I would never do that to you."
"It's not that. It's just...I'm still healing and my body isn't ready. Believe me, I want to take that next step with you, but my body needs a couple more weeks. I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay, there's no reason to apologize, Sweetness. Our time will come, and when it does, I want it to be special. If we need to wait a couple more weeks, that's fine. If you need more time than that, that's okay, too." He searched her eyes before adding, "You and Alli are the most important people in my life, my love, and I will never do anything to hurt either of you."
"I know you won't, Killian - I trust you." Subconsciously, she reached up to touch the pendant around her neck. "I can hardly wait to show you just how much I love you."
He smiled. "You already do that every day, Emma. It doesn't take an intimate relationship to demonstrate how much we love each other. Someone as special as you deserves a relationship built on love and trust, not just physical desires."
Emma felt a flood of emotion wash over her. No one in her life had ever put her needs first, until she met Killian Jones. She stroked her hand across his scruffy cheek. "Thank you, Killian, and thank you for a perfect date. It made me fall in love with you even more." She leaned in to brush her lips lightly over his, then embraced him and didn't let go. Killian reciprocated the hug and clung to the love of his life, as he breathed in her scent.
They lingered for a minute longer before they separated. "I'll see you in the morning," Emma murmured.
"Goodnight, Sweetness. Give Allison a kiss from her daddy when she wakes up."
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A couple of weeks after their date, Killian had his weekly Sunday afternoon Facetime call to Liam, Rose and Declan with Emma sitting in on it. She usually joined him, though she hardly ever said anything because she got the feeling Liam wasn't receptive to what she had to say. Rose was always friendly and eager to see the baby, and Declan chattered a mile a minute, but Liam barely acknowledged her.
After about ten minutes, she told Killian she was going to give Allison a bath. Now that the remains of the baby's umbilical cord had fallen off, they bathed her in the baby tub instead of giving her a sponge bath in the bathroom sink.
Emma bid everyone goodbye and kissed Killian on the cheek before carrying Alli out of the living room. She went into the bathroom and started running the water to get it to the right temperature when she realized there weren't any diapers in the cupboard under the sink to put on Allison after her bath.
Opening the door to grab one from the bedroom, she heard Killian's voice raised in anger.
"How DARE you?"
Emma froze. Somehow she knew she was probably the subject of whatever had been said to make her boyfriend so defensive. She also knew she shouldn't keep listening, but she couldn't seem to help herself.
She heard Liam's voice next. "I haven't even mentioned the fact she has a baby. Bloody hell, Killian, she's had another man's child! Why would you want to be saddled with that responsibility?"
"I love Allison as if she were my own, Liam! I think the fact she named her daughter after our mother shows how much she cares for me!"
"Of course she named the baby after Mum! It was another ploy to get her claws into you! How can you not see that she's a con artist and is manipulating you? She's living in your house, eating your food…"
"That's enough!" Killian growled through clenched teeth, trying to keep his voice down so Emma wouldn't hear. "I won't listen to you say another word against her when you don't even know her!"
"I don't have to know her - I know her kind! She's playing you for all you're worth and you're too blinded by 'love', or whatever you think it is, to see what she's doing! You've always had a soft spot in your heart for anything that's weak, wounded or neglected, and while I've often admired that about you, it doesn't make for good judgement on your part."
"As the saying goes, stop judging a book by its cover! I'm hanging up now. When you decide to stop being such a self-righteous arse, you can call me again!"
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As Liam sat looking at the darkened screen of his phone where Killian's angry face had been moments before, Rose lit into him. "I hope you're happy with yourself, Liam Jones! You just managed to ostracise your own brother!"
"Someone had to make him wise to what she's doing, Rose! He's unable to see how she's taking advantage of him!"
"What makes you think you can see it when you're thousands of miles away? Killian is right - you're judging her without even knowing her! You have no right to throw stones at her just because of her circumstances! Your brother is a grown man, not the little boy you had to look after for all those years. He's intuitive and smart, and perfectly capable of making his own decisions. You don't have to agree with all those decisions, but you do have to respect them!"
"I'm not going to stand by and watch someone hurt my little brother, Rose!"
"You don't have to. You've done a bang-up job of that all on your own."
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As soon as Killian ended the call, Emma quietly nudged the door closed and sat down on the edge of the bathtub, trying to take deep calming breaths. She had sensed that Liam didn't like her, but hearing Killian argue with his brother because of her made her heart ache. Liam, Rose and Declan were the only family he had left and she didn't want to be the cause of a rift between them.
She knew Killian would probably be coming into the bathroom soon since he always liked to entertain the baby while she had her bath, so she busied herself filling the little tub with water and undressing Allison. As she gently lowered her into the water, Emma wasn't able to stop the tears trailing down her cheeks.
"Hey."
Emma jumped as Killian's voice came from behind her. "I, uh, I forgot to bring a diaper in here. Would you mind getting one for me, please?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
"Of course not. I'll be right back."
She quickly grabbed the hooded towel laying on top of the toilet and wiped her face, not wanting Killian to see she had been crying. By the time he returned with a diaper and a clean onesie for Allison, she had her emotions a little more under control.
"So, um, could you...did you hear the rest of the phone call?" he asked hesitantly.
"Not all of it, but enough to know that Liam hates me."
"He's a stubborn arse sometimes, Emma. He still thinks he has to play the protective big brother role."
"To protect you from a homeless, single mother con artist," she spat.
Killian dropped his head back in exasperation. "He doesn't know what he's talking about, because he doesn't know you, Love."
"How is he ever going to get to know me if he won't even talk to me, or give me a chance to talk to him?"
"Give him some time, and when he sees how happy we are together, he'll come around."
"It's been months, Killian. If he hasn't figured that out by now, I doubt he ever will."
"Hey," he said, kissing the top of her head, "don't worry about Liam. If he doesn't want to accept that I'm in love with a beautiful, wonderful woman, it's his loss."
Emma managed a small smile for him. Her heart agreed with what he said, but her head was telling her she had to do whatever she could to make sure Killian wouldn't be estranged from his brother.
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The next day when Killian got home from work, he noticed the stroller wasn't in the garage and assumed Emma had taken Allison and Zeke for a walk, so when he walked in the door, he was surprised to find the dog in the kitchen. Instead of greeting him the usual way of spinning in circles and wagging his tail so hard it shook his whole body, Zeke's head and tail drooped.
"Hey, buddy. Did they go for a walk without you?" Killian asked, rubbing his pet's neck.
Zeke responded by turning and walking slowly through the living room and down the hallway to Emma and Allison's room.
Trying to ignore the sudden hollow feeling he had in his stomach when he didn't see the bouncy seat anywhere, Killian followed Zeke into the bedroom. When he entered, his stomach dropped even further as he took in the neatly made bed and open closet door with empty hangers. Emma's large duffle bag was missing, as was the blanket Granny had given Allison, which was usually draped over the arm of the rocking chair.
He frantically yanked out a couple of dresser drawers and the storage drawers beneath the crib, growing more concerned when he found them nearly empty. With his heart pounding madly, he pulled out his phone and tapped Emma's contact with a shaking finger. As soon as the call connected, he heard the familiar ringtone echoing in the room and looked over at the bookshelf to see her phone on top of it.
Killian's knees gave out and he sank onto the bed, while Zeke laid down on the floor, his shaggy head resting on his paws. "They're gone, aren't they, boy?" he whispered, his voice choked with tears.
Zeke looked up at him with his big, brown eyes and answered with a sad whine.
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