***Trigger warning, mentions of past abuse***

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Chapter 2

That afternoon, Emma tried keeping Ryleigh entertained upstairs and away from Cora and her daughters. It was raining, so their afternoon walk was cancelled, and they were on their second game of go fish, Emma laying on the playroom floor.

"Mommy, it's more fun with Nana Cora." The little one whined.

"I know honey, but we're giving her time to be with her daughters."

"I'm bored, Mama. I wanna go downstairs."

There was a soft knock on the door jus then. "Emma? It's Zelena. Can I come in?"

"Of course." Emma answered, sitting up. She smiled at her. "What's up?"

"Mom wanted me to ask you the same thing. She was wondering if you and Ryleigh are okay."

"Oh, we're fine."

"We gotta stay up here cuz you're down there." Ryleigh said, crossing her arms and pouting.

"Ryleigh, that's not what I said." Emma sighed. "I said we're giving Nana Cora time with her daughters."

"Well, Nana Cora said she really wanted to see her little Ryleigh Bug." Zelena said.

Ryleigh looked at Emma, her big green eyes serious. "Nana really wants to see me, Mama."

Emma tapped her nose. "Go on down, Sweet pea. I'll be right there."

The girl happily rushed out and Emma started picking up the cards. She thought Zelena went with her, so she jumped a bit when the woman cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped. Mom just can't stop talking about you guys and wondered where you were."

Emma waved her off. "You didn't overstep; I just wanted to give you both time with your mother." She stretched as she stood.

"Emma, this is your house too. Mom's been talking a lot and we owe you for everything you've done for her."

"No, you don't. Honestly, Zelena, it's been a win-win for both of us." Emma bit her lip, neither of them knowing Regina was listening in the hall. "Zelena, I don't…I don't mean to be rude, so please don't take this that way. I just…you know I have my daughter to think about and I just was curious if you think you or Regina or both are going to take over the care of your mother? I just need to know so I can start looking for a job and a place to live and all that."

Zelena put her arm on Emma's shoulder. "Emma, you're doing a wonderful job. I cannot afford to quit my job or even take more time off after this visit, but I will be visiting her more often, I do know that. I don't know about Regina, but what I do know is no one is going to just kick you out and leave you with nothing."

"I don't want anything, Zelena, other than time to figure stuff out. I'm not at all trying to be insensitive or intrusive or anything like that and I know you and Regina are her daughters so if either of you did decide to take care of her or even decided that I'm not enough, I understand."

"You're enough, Emma." Regina said, stepping into the doorway. "Sorry, I was eavesdropping. Emma, you have done a wonderful job with her and as Zelena said, no one is just kicking you out with nothing. Mother would never stand for that, and we're not that evil."

Emma smirked a bit. "Well I wasn't sure since your mom said you were known as The Evil Queen in high school."

Regina rolled her eyes as Zelena laughed. "So that's why you were calling me 'your majesty'?"

"Well that and you were acting a bit…"

"Bitchy." Zelena said.

"I wasn't going to say that, but sure."

"Yeah, yeah, so I was a bit snobby in high school and had a reputation, but it's been years since then. And Zelena, did you forget that you were known as the Wicked Witch?"

Emma chuckled. "You two must have been quite the team."

Regina smiled. "We were."

"We always had each other." Zelena agreed. "I'm going to go down and see what those two are up to."

"Okay, dinner is almost ready." Regina said and when Zelena left, she looked at Emma. "I didn't intend to eavesdrop, I was just coming up to tell you about dinner."

"It's okay. I was going to have the same conversation with you. Honestly, I just want to make sure you both know that I don't want anything but time, you know?"

"Of course. Emma, in some ways, you've put your life on hold for our mother. If you don't mind me asking, what will you do once mom…well once she's better?" Regina couldn't say the words if she died.

Emma let out a sigh. "I honestly don't know. Thanks to your mother, I do have some savings, so I'd be able to put a deposit down on a small apartment and just hope I get a job. Unfortunately, I don't have official work experience, so I'd probably have to get two jobs to make ends meet, but I'd figure it out. So long as Ryleigh is cared for, happy, and healthy, that's all I care about."

"I don't mean to get personal, Emma, but what about insurance?"

"Ryleigh is covered under state insurance. It's not fantastic, but it's free, so I won't complain."

"And you?"

Emma shrugged, cleaning up the room. "I just do my best not to get sick or hurt." She sighed. "I tried doing classes to be a home health aide, but between Ryleigh and your mom, the schedule didn't work out. Your mom offered to get me private insurance, but that's so expensive and I had to put my foot down and say no."

"Can I ask? Does she pay you? I mean on top of letting you stay here; does she pay you?"

For some reason, the questioning was annoying Emma, and she crossed her arms. "Why all the personal questions? Regina, I am not taking advantage of your mother, I…"

"Emma, I know." Regina assured her. "I'm making sure she's not taking advantage of you." She sighed. "Look, she's your employer, right? Other employers offer insurance, other employers pay their employees."

"Your mom let's me and my daughter live here, Regina. She feeds us, buys Ryleigh anything she needs and almost anything she wants, she is so good to us. She's not taking advantage at all. Yes, she pays me but not nearly as much as she wants to because…" Emma sighed. "I never wanted anyone to think I was taking advantage. My biggest fear has always been that one day something would happen to your mom and you and your sister would find out about this and take me to court or something." She bit her lip. "Not that I think you guys are bad people or anything, but I've seen enough tv shows to be worried."

"So, mom never told you that she has everything legally documented?"

"She what?"

"She has signed affidavits pointing out everything she has agreed to with you. She didn't show me the details, but basically, if that would have happened, no one could have denied that she wanted you here. I assure you, Emma, neither my sister nor I would ever take you to court. Even if your scenario would have taken place, we'd have seen she knew what she was doing."

"Regina! Dinner is burning." Zelena called up the stairs.

"Shit. I forgot about that." Regina said, rushing from the room. Emma followed, but was deep in thought. Why didn't Cora tell her everything was documented?

The four sat for dinner and once Ryleigh assured Regina that she loved her enchiladas, everyone was also relaxed. Cora looked over at Emma and noticed she seemed to be in another world. "Emma honey? Is something wrong?" She sighed. "Did something happen?"

Emma looked at her and shook her head. "No, nothing happened. Nothing's wrong, Cora, I was just spacing."

"You only do that when something is on your mind." She said softly. She put her hand over Emma's. "What's wrong?"

Emma smiled softly. "Nothing is wrong, Cora. I just…Regina told me something I didn't know, and I guess I wondered why you didn't tell me." She smiled softly. "Nothing bad. I just…I had no idea you had our agreement documented."

"Of course, I do. I didn't want something to happen where you were being accused of taking advantage of me or something. It's for you, Emma, for your protection. It's not bad."

"No, I know it's not. I just…I didn't know and honestly, I've been worrying about that since this started. It's honestly a bit of a relief."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, sweetie, it must have slipped my mind. If I'd had known you were so worried, I would have made sure I told you. It's just…Emma, sometimes when I offer you things or whatever, you sometimes get a bit defensive or just are so quick to decline and dismiss, so maybe at the time, I thought you'd do that, so I didn't tell you."

"You mean like how she won't let you pay her fairly or get her insurance?" Regina asked, making Emma blush.

"Regina, I told you that she does more than enough for me." Emma looked at Cora, worry in her face. "I never told her you didn't pay me fairly, I swear." Tears were building in her eyes as she thought Cora would think she was complaining. "I explained everything you do for Ryleigh and I and never once said it wasn't fair."

"Emma honey, calm down and breathe." Cora said softly.

Regina looked mortified. "I didn't mean it like that, Emma. I wasn't accusing you."

"Okay, everyone just breathe." Cora said. "Emma, sweetheart, Regina has already questioned me on this and agrees that you don't get paid enough. She wasn't at all trying to make me think you were complaining." She shifted and cupped Emma's face, looking into her eyes. "My sweet girl, breathe. Remember where you are now, who you are." Cora knew Emma would be experiencing thoughts from before Cora and wanted to stop them. "You're safe."

Emma locked eyes with Cora and took some deep breaths. "I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe." She whispered as she calmed down. She then realized what was going on and turned dark red. "I um…I need some air." She said, getting up from the table and stepping out to the backyard before anyone could stop her.

"I…mom, what just happened? I didn't…did I offend her?" Regina asked, feeling about two inches tall.

Cora gave a meaningful look towards Ryleigh and then shook her head to Regina. "No, that wasn't your fault, Regina." She smiled at the little one. "Mommy will be okay, sweetie. She just needs some fresh air."

Ryleigh gave a nod, but worriedly looked towards the door. "I don't like when Mommy cries. Sometimes I hear her cry at night or even in the day when she thinks I'm asleep. She won't never tell me why though."

Cora's heart broke for she knew why Emma cried and knew that Emma didn't want Ryleigh to know. "Sometimes people cry, my love, but she'll be okay. Honey, can you maybe go get Nana Cora her blanket from the couch?"

"Sure." She said, getting up.

"I don't have a lot of time to explain and it's not for me to go into detail anyway, but Emma has a rough past, and she has panic attacks when she thinks someone is upset with her. She fears what will happen and though I've never once hurt her, others have, so her mind always assumes that will happen. Sometimes – no, most times, she can push that away before reacting, but occasionally, she reacts like this. Ryleigh knows nothing about Emma's past and Emma wants to keep it that way for now."

Both Regina and Zelena gave nods, but Ryleigh was back before they could say anything. "Here you go, Nana."

"Thank you, sweetheart. Now, you finish eating."

"Is mommy back?"

"Not yet, sweetie, but she will be."

"Should I check on her?" Zelena asked quietly.

Cora shook her head. "Just give her time." Cora did her best to get some chatter going and was glad that neither Regina nor Zelena made a bit deal of it when Emma came back in and sat down.

"Sorry." She mumbled, her eyes staying down.

Regina reached over and softly touched Emma's hand. "No need to be sorry. Eat up before it gets too cold.

After dinner that night, Emma helped Cora with her medication and then up to bed. She then got Ryleigh into bed and read her a story. She was heading to bed herself after making sure the doors were locked when she passed the TV room and stopped, not able to help herself as she listened to the sisters reminisce about their high school days. It was clear the two were close and even if they had issues with Cora, they had fun in life.

"Emma?" Zelena called, seeing blonde. "Emma, come chill with us."

Regina looked over at the blonde and smiled. "Yeah, come on. We're having some drinks. What will you have?"

"Oh no, I don't want to impose on your time together."

"Please, we're sisters. We can talk any time. Come join us." Zelena said opening the mini fridge. "I stocked this with different things. What would you like?"

Emma looked. "Just a beer is fine if you're both sure."

"Sure we're sure." Regina said, pulling Emma into the room.

An hour later, the three were laughing and talking and getting to know each other. They were all more than a few drinks in and Emma couldn't help but wish she'd have had this when she was younger. However, she knew it was only a matter of time before things got serious. It was like Zelena could read her thoughts as she asked her next question.

"Emma? I um…I mean you don't have to talk about it but I just…are you okay from earlier?"

Emma sighed and rest her head back on the chair. "I'm fine and I'm sorry about that."

"Look, mom didn't tell us details or anything but just so you know, you can talk to us any time." Regina said, placing her hand on Emma's knee.

"If I start, I won't stop, and I'll probably cry so…" She looked between the two and realized she wasn't getting out of this. She sighed and finished her beer, opening another one. "My mom left me and my dad when I was three. She couldn't handle his abuse, drug use, or drinking." She said as she slowly put her bottle down.

"She didn't take you?" Regina asked, her hand still on Emma's knee.

Emma shook her head, looking down. "She wanted a fresh start, I guess. Dad told me over and over it was because I wasn't good enough for her, but your mom…your mom has offered me other reasons that I chose to believe instead. I didn't have her back then though and I remember thinking how bad I must be for my own mother to leave me. Then he started leaving me for days at a time when I was around four. I'd get by on crackers or cereal and basically just watch cartoons all day. Sometimes we didn't have any food and I'd spend the day curled up and crying from stomach pains. I knew better than to be loud enough for the neighbors to hear because one time they did, and I couldn't sit for three days afterwards." Emma picked up her beer and drank more. "It got a little better when I started school because I knew I'd always get lunch there. I'd hide food for the days he'd leave me alone and mostly, I got by. Some days he'd come home happy, and we'd have a good few hours before he'd remember that he was 'stuck with me'. Most days he'd come home drunk, upset, and ready to take his anger out on me. At the time, I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong, but all he'd tell me was it was all my fault."

Regina shook her head, shifting closer to Emma on the sofa. "I'm so sorry, Emma. You don't have to keep telling us if you don't want to."

Zelena bit her lip. "But if it helps to talk, we're here to listen."

"I…it kinda does." Emma admitted. "Until your mother, I had no one to talk to, no one to unload on, you know?"

"I do know." Zelena said softly. "I just don't want you to feel pressured."

"I don't." Emma assured her. "I won't get into the nitty gritty, but when I was nine, he started doing other things to me." She kept her eyes down. "Things…things I still can't describe in detail. Things no child should ever experience. 'Your mom left because of you, so you have to make me feel good', he'd say late at night when I'd be crying after he was done. 'This is all you're good for, all you'll ever be good for. No man will ever truly love you, Emma, they will only want you for this and I'm helping you get good at it. Tell anyone and you're dead'." Emma sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "I think it was inevitable, and I think my mother had to have known that as well. Anyway, when I was nine, I had enough. I literally could not do it anymore. Between never knowing if he was coming home or not, what mood he'd be in, if I'd have food, if I'd get punished, I couldn't and I snapped. I had gotten in trouble for not getting my homework done and when the teacher started yelling at me, I completely lost it. I stood up, threw down my backpack, pulled my pants down and leaned on my desk yelling at him to just 'get it over with. Just punish me and be done.' Of course, he assumed I meant a spanking and said he legally couldn't do that, and I just laughed and looked at him. 'Just fuck me and be done.' I remember gasps from the students, and this look on my teachers face. Like it clicked and he understood and the pity. God, I'll never forget the pity in his face. 'Come on, Emma. Pull your pants up and let's go talk to the nurse.' He was quiet and so understanding and I just started sobbing. I knew I had gone too far, and I was in major trouble." Emma took some deep breaths. "I told the nurse everything and she…she sent me home."

"What?!" Both sisters asked in horror.

"Yeah." Emma let out a dry laugh. "They preach to kids to tell an adult if they're getting hurt and I did and I got sent back to my abuser. Lucky for me, he didn't answer his phone when the school called, but unlucky for me, he was home when social services showed up. He was all charm and excuses. 'Her mother left when she was little, and she craves attention. I don't know why she's lying but I promise, I'll talk with her and we'll be okay.' She didn't even pull me aside to talk to me alone and I couldn't tell the truth in front of him. I apologized for wasting their time and felt so…so cast aside. I wanted to yell out everything, to tell her, to beg her not to leave me, but even as I watched her walk to her car, I couldn't force myself to say anything. Needless to say, I didn't go to school for two weeks after that and no one ever asked me why. At fifteen, I'd had enough, and I left. Even the streets were better than with him." Emma sighed again. "That's when I met Killian. I ignored the red flags – and there were many – and instead believed him every time he said he was sorry or that it wouldn't happen again. I stayed for six years because I honestly didn't know another way and he had virtually trapped me. I had no job, no money, no one to turn to. Then one day, I realized I had been sick for a couple days and I just knew, you know? I went to the corner shop and stole a pregnancy test. Once I saw it was positive, something took over. I couldn't stay there, wouldn't subject my child to the same life I had been subjected to. Finally, I had something…someone to live for. I packed what little I had and left. I walked for hours before coming to the realization that I had nothing, I was nothing, I couldn't be a mother. That's how I found myself at the library that day, looking up adoption agencies and crying my eyes out. I had someone to live for, but I couldn't – wouldn't, give them the same crappy start in life that I had. I had to give them a better chance and adoption was the only way I could see doing that, even if it hurt." She smiled softly. "That's when I met your mom. She pulled me aside into a room and I gave her a very short version of my story and she offered me a place to stay, and a shoulder to lean on. We spent nights just talking and finally, I told her my full story and she told me hers. Honestly, I think we've been good for each other, you know? And she has loved Ryleigh since the day she was born." Emma smiled warmly. "She was with me in the hospital room, cheering me on the whole time."

"What happened with Killian?" Regina asked quietly. "Did you report him?"

Emma shook her head. "I couldn't. I just wanted a clean break from him. As far as I know, he's drugged himself to death."

"Does he know about Ryleigh?" Zelena asked, worried for the woman and her daughter. "How far away does he live?"

"He doesn't know about Ryleigh. I haven't seen him since the morning I left. He lives about two hours away; I had gotten on a train that day and had no idea how far I travelled until later when everything caught up with me."

Zelena let out a breath and finished her drink. "Emma, I…damn. You have got to be the strongest person I've ever met."

Emma was expecting anything from pity to even anger and to be told to leave, but she wasn't expecting a compliment. "I…what?"

"She's right." Regina agreed. "The whole world was against you, yet you survived and look at you now! You're an amazing mother, from what I can tell, and mother can't stop singing your praises as a caretaker and friend." She bit her lip. "Emma, mother said you convinced her to finally tell us the truth about her cancer. You convinced her to have us come here and clear the air. Can I ask why?"

Emma finished her beer as she thought about her answer. "I guess I just…so I know I didn't know you guys, but I could sort of put myself in your shoes. If my mother was dying, I guess I hope that she'd want to reach out to me and explain things. I hope she'd want to apologize for leaving me and never coming back for me and well…I'd want the chance to forgive her in person."

"Would you? Forgive her?" Zelena asked softly.

"If she was genuinely sorry like your mother is, yes I would. There's only one person in this world I will never forgive."

"Your father?" Queried the red-head.

Emma shook her head and looked down. "Myself."

The sisters looked at each other, shocked at the answer. Zelena got up and came over to Emma, kneeling in front of her. "Emma, you did nothing wrong."

"I didn't leave. I didn't tell anyone until I was nine and even then, I didn't tell social services the truth."

"You were nine years old." Regina said, taking Emma's free hand. "Emma, seriously, if you're holding on to this and still blaming yourself, I think maybe you should go to counseling or something. It was so many people's faults, but not yours."

"What happened to your dad?"

Emma let out a snort. "Won the lottery." She shook her head. "Got thirty-five million dollars and I'm sure has spent it all on drugs and alcohol. No, I never turned him in either. I saw him once a couple months ago in a bar. He had no idea who I was, so I just kept walking."

"You know, it's not too late to turn him in. There's no statue of limitation on child sexual abuse." Zelena stated, her lawyer side coming out.

Emma scoffed a bit. "Maybe there's not, but there's also no evidence. I think most judges will agree that it's convenient to bring this up after his winning the lottery. Thank you, Zelena, but I seriously just want to keep the past in the past."

"Well if you change your mind, I'd take the case for free." Zelena said, standing and stretching. "I'm heading to bed. Thank you for being so open and honest, Emma." She smiled softly. "You have a sister for life."

Emma didn't know if it was the alcohol or genuine, but she smiled. "Thanks, Zelena. I appreciate that."

When Zelena left, Regina realized she was still holding Emma's hand, but since the blonde hadn't pulled away, neither did she. "You know, Zelena really is an amazing lawyer."

"I know. Cora can't stop talking about her amazing Lawyer daughter along with how proud she is of her Mayor daughter to anyone that will listen. I just really want to keep the past in the past."

"I get that, I really do. Emma…have you ever been to counseling for any of this?"

Emma sighed and rested her head back. "No. It's like picking at a scab and I don't see a reason to do that."

"You mean other than the fact that you can't or won't forgive your nine-year-old self for something that wasn't even your fault?" Regina looked at Emma. "Just think about it, okay? I have a good friend who is a psychologist and I'm sure he'd have good recommendations for someone in this area."

"Thank you. Regina, I will think about it, but I can't think anymore about this tonight. I'm sorry, but I'm exhausted."

"I'm sure you are, Emma, no reason to be sorry. Come on, let's head up to bed."

Upstairs, Emma checked on Ryleigh before standing outside Regina's room, smiling at the woman. "Thanks for giving me a chance, your majesty."

Regina rolled her eyes, but smirked. "I could say the same to you. Look, we don't have to talk about any of this ever again if you don't want, but if you do want to, I'm here." She hesitated before placing a soft kiss on Emma's cheek.

Emma was speechless and looking at the ground. "Thank you." She mumbled.

Regina mentally smacked herself in the head. Emma had literally just told her how she was forced to do sexual things and then she went and kissed her cheek with no permission. "Emma I…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that without asking."

Emma gave a lopsided smile. "Don't be sorry. I just…I've never…" She blushed hard. "I've only ever been with Killian and…I don't…"

Regina couldn't stop her smirk at this beautiful creature in front of her. "It was a goodnight kiss on the cheek. Don't think too hard about it, Emma…though I mean, if you were interested, I'm not opposed to seeing what happens."

Emma swallowed and looked at Regina, at those chocolate eyes. "I think I'd like that. I mean, if your mom…"

"My mom may have done a lot of things, Emma, but being ashamed of who I am was never one of them. That was one area in life where I always have had her support." She reached and softly stroked Emma's cheek. "Good night, Swan. See you in the morning."

"Good night, your majesty." Emma said before smirking and going to her room. It had been an emotional night, but Emma felt it ended on a good note.