AN: Just Finn and Charlie today. I hope you like it! Reviews are always appreciated!
The sail towards North Straddie passed beautifully - it truly was the perfect morning to be out on Moreton Bay. They talked a little about how Charlie's year of travel had been, what kind of fascinating people she'd met and what mishaps and situations she had gotten into. But she'd admitted herself that that night when they'd met was probably the most frightening and exhilarating at the same time she'd ever had, having now gained some distance from the actual occurrence. It had been unplanned, unpredictable, and for that more real than anything she could've imagined ever happening to her.
Finn spoke about his adventures during college, skipping over the yacht sinking incident which he was rather embarrassed by these days - they'd just been young and reckless and becoming clear of his record while actually being on a boat, didn't seem like the brightest idea. But he did talk about how they'd travelled, partied, rafted, skydived and base jumped. Little by little Finn was letting go of hiding his wealth - not spelling it out but simply not hiding it as much. She'd seen enough - the two family houses, the car, the boat, Yale - so he just let it go.
"You know, my sister went to Yale," Charlie confessed after some time, after he'd finished telling another Yale based story. Finn hadn't mentioned the Life and Death Brigade of course, just the contents of a couple of events to some extent. "Well, she's my half sister really - same dad," she added.
"Really?" Finn exclaimed, having really not expected it. "What's her name?" he asked, unsure if he was hoping there was a connection or not. It would've been kind of cool, but there was always the danger that he might have known her sister perhaps a little too intimately.
"Olivia, same last name," Charlie said, adding, "she was there… What? 2003 to 2007? Something like that ..."
"I got my BA in 2006, and some years later a one year master's," Finn specified. He didn't recall any Olivia-s but who knew, it was not as if he had the best track record for remembering names back then.
"She was at the art school there, she's a sculptor. She lives in Boston. But she looks nothing like me. Her mother is part Philiphino. So except for some tiny facial similarities one can't really tell we're even related," she explained.
"I don't think I knew her, but maybe one of my friends did," Finn said with a shrug. He might ask, but it wasn't like he was going to do a lot with that information. "Do you get along with her?" he asked.
"We do, but we're not in touch much these days. She's got kids and on the whole she's been kind of busy," she added. Little by little the puzzle that she'd been in the beginning was beginning to be resolved - still missing some major pieces - but it wasn't like they were in a hurry.
"And you said you had, what 4 siblings?" Charlie asked in return, after they watched a small group of dolphins swim along their boat for a while.
"Yeah," he replied, somewhat surprised that she'd picked up on him casually mentioning it earlier. "Jamie is the oldest, then it's Sylvie - the one I'm staying with when here, then there's me, Sean and Tessa. I'm honestly beginning to struggle keeping track of all of their kids - they're a lot of fun to be around, but when it's four times something… two-three, it can get a little confusing," he admitted, speaking with endearment. He continued to explain how he remembered their names but their exact ages and hobbies he sometimes mixed up when he saw them all at once during Christmas which was kind of embarrassing if he had to play Santa for them, adding an hilarious Santa impression. "And in New York I'm sort of this unofficial godparent to my friends' kids - they have a son that's named after me, believe it or not, and they just had twin girls this summer. When I'm home I'm usually around their place a lot - it's a little like my family too," he shared with pride in his tone. Though he wasn't really sure how much he was going to be around them in the future, if trying to maintain some distance from G.
"Sounds like fun," she replied politely, but not too enthusiastically. She went very quiet and thoughtful after that.
Finn continued to look ahead from the helm, but he could tell that something had upset her, making him ponder whether he'd said anything wrong. Maybe it was the enthusiasm that he'd spoken with or simply the abundance of family?
"You okay there, love?" Finn asked, the term of endearment slipping over his lips without thinking, and touched her shoulder. He was becoming more and more relaxed around her, hoping that she just would tell him if he was being too familiar.
"It's nothing," she replied, brushing it off, smiling weakly at him. "So you must've done something pretty cool to have them name their son after you?" she inquired instead.
"That is a very long story, and kind of complicated. But the short version, I guess, is that they were being idiots with a long and complex romantic history - we're speaking a decade or so, and I just was an avid supporter of them being together and I guess they saw my part in actually getting them together at a critical time," Finn explained.
"You're quite the cupid, Finn," Charlie chuckled, visibly relaxing again, making Finn grin widely and make a funny gesture of shooting an arrow with his tongue sticking out his mouth.
They anchored the boat just off One Mile Beach in Dunwich some ten minutes later and took the dinghy to shore, despite it being a little tricky with the surfboards.
It was a bit of a walk to the town but from there Finn already knew exactly where to go, surprising Charlie by having rented them a car. In theory they could've just taken Finn's car and used that there, but the car ferry tended to be full - besides, Finn had waited for a chance to take the catamaran out and this just provided the most convenient reason. They packed up the car and bought some snacks to go from the local bakery, enjoying a couple of cupcakes and some coffee before heading off to Cylinder beach that, according to Finn, had the best waves.
The drive really wasn't very long, just fifteen minutes or so, making Charlie ponder out loud why they just couldn't take the bus which some people in Dunwich were waiting for anyways, some also carrying their own surf gear. But this was Finn - going the extra mile for even the slightest bit of comfort if it was possible.
The car was convenient - Charlie had to agree, once they got there. It came with a side awning that provided a welcome shade and it was a lot more convenient to change clothes with the car around.
Finn had the same pair of blue surfing shorts he'd had on on the boat and simply pulled on a half-sleeve rash guard shirt to replace his regular polo shirt. He'd even brought along some of his sister's surf clothes just in case Charlie didn't have the appropriate clothes, but thankfully they were really not necessary.
Finn had seen Charlie without a shirt on before, though in completely different circumstances, and clearly she wasn't really a shy one, deciding to simply turn around and face the car when she pulled off her top and bra and replaced them with a long-sleeved rash guard shirt in pastel palm-leaf pattern. She wore black hipster type bikini bottoms, appearing not in any way self-conscious of her curves. She may not have fit some generic size-0 model format - more like size 12-ish, but she was well balanced, and quite feminine in her form despite her height which on some women just made them look stout. Finn couldn't deny that she looked hot like that - sporty, confident and the slightly protruding nipples really didn't hurt - but he tried not to stare.
The two paddled side by side, on occasion exchanging a few glances - it was almost wordless communication - Finn was sizing her abilities up, wanting to make sure she was able to handle it, feeling some protectiveness. But both knew what they were doing, simply adjusting what and when they did accordingly. There was deep joy in simply allowing the ocean to carry oneself. Just being there in the sun, experiencing each wave deep in one's muscles. It was a sense of happiness mixing perfectly with the calm and euphoria if one managed to stay upright longer than one anticipated. Finn was definitely more experienced - showing off a little with his roundhouse cutbacks while Charlie stuck mostly to the basics, not being too familiar with the local waters just yet. But it appeared she was really enjoying herself too.
They ate a couple of pizzas for lunch and later took a walk along the North Gorge. Finn's plan was to drive around the Island a little and show Charlie some other sights, and they were just packing up their stuff and deciding where to go exactly, when Finn spoke, "Too bad I forgot the snorkeling gear on the boat," with a grumble, as he checked through the trunk of the rental car.
"It's fine, it's not like I have much strength left in my arms after these waves," Charlie replied, letting out an involuntary yawn and stretching out her arms. "I'm happy you invited me though, I don't think I would've ended up here on my own," she explained, continuing to explain that somehow North Straddie hadn't appealed by it's descriptions as much as some of the other islands.
"I'm glad," he replied, smilingly. He hadn't had this much fun in ages, even with Archie in Noosa the conversation hadn't been as fluid as with her, and he really didn't feel the need to constantly keep impressing her. He was just relaxed, able to be his true self without pretending to be better, on occasion slipping into his goofy banters. "You know… we could stay the night on the boat. There's room. We could spend another day out here," he said, not feeling ready for this to end. He knew he was definitely pushing it, but for once he knew that this was just what he wanted. He wasn't doing anything immoral, hell - he wasn't even drunk - it was pure innocent fun.
"Are you sure your dad doesn't need the boat back?" Charlie hesitated. "I kind of feel like I'm taking your generosity for granted here," she added. The only thing Finn had agreed to let her pay for the entire day were the pizzas and some sodas, and she really felt like a freeloader, having complained about it a few times already.
Finn simply chuckled at her response. Anyone who knew him knew that generosity was really one of his trademarks and right now he was just showing a glimpse of it - she was so far off worrying about something like this. "Do you want to stay or are you sick of me already?" he asked teasingly.
A few hours later, just before the sun was beginning to set, they took the dinghy back to the catamaran, having stocked up on some groceries to make themselves dinner. The galley was too tiny to actually have two people working in it comfortably, but they made it work - Charlie throwing together a quick salad while Finn made them some locally caught Whiting - sesame crusted and fried. It was fun being in this very domestic kind of activity with her - it came so effortlessly.
They ate their dinner out on the aft deck, enjoying the calmness of the bay around them. They both sat at the U-shaped bench seat, their bare feet propped up to either side of the bench, simply relaxing after a tiring day. They had a bottle of wine, which after a hot day really got in their heads quicker than they'd thought, definitely allowing the conversation flow with less and less boundaries.
"Are you ever going to tell me what it was that you did before coming here?" Finn laughed after she'd finished an hilarious story about her first job in Australia at one of the farms where they grew austriches.
"Fine.., but I don't want you to make a face," Charlie warned, her cheeks having gotten a slight reddish glow from the wine and being in the sun all day.
"What face?" Finn asked, innocently.
"That face where any image of me that you might have thought I was kind of cool just drains out of you," Charlie laughed.
"Cross my heart…," Finn promised gallantly.
"I was… I am an intellectual property lawyer," she confessed, hiding her eyes with her hands as if it was something embarrassing.
"Huh…," Finn reacted, trying really hard to control what he said and how he said it. It definitely didn't fit with the image he had of her. "I mean it could've been worse - tax lawyer or a contract lawyer…" he said, making a joke out of it.
Charlie punched him on the shoulder playfully.
"Hey, for what it's worth I graduated with an economics major - that's not much fun either," Finn evened the playing field a little.
"Well that does make me feel a little better," Charlie chuckled, rolling her eyes.
"So why did you do it, if you don't seem to recognize yourself in that profession these days?" Finn asked.
"I guess…," she pondered, quite appreciating a relevant question. "Well.. first of all I just got on the conveyor belt when I was 18 and for the next 10 years I just let things happen - I figured if I wasn't cut out to be a lawyer, like my dad, I'd not get accepted into law school or I'd fail my bar exam or something, but those things just didn't happen…," she explained. "And I ended up in a fairly decent company, the same one I did my internship in. I was on my own and independent by the time I was 25. It was just almost too easy - and it's like you're not supposed to fight something that comes so easily, right?" she discussed, sipping on her wine.
"Yeah, I guess I know what you mean. I've had friends to whom everything came easily too until the end of college and then they just floated - like nothing came naturally anymore. But then again there are others like my friend Colin, also a lawyer by the way, who've just followed the predestined path their families set them on without any alterations - I'm not sure if that is something that makes him happy either or whether he just doesn't know anything else," Finn explained. Logan would've almost also fallen into that category if he hadn't had his detour in California.
"So you're not thinking I'm some boring paper-pusher?" Charlie inquired, not quite believing him, as she played with the base of her wine glass. Finn was a little curious as to why she was so worried about what he thought of her, as just that morning she'd said that this was another one of her goals - to stop caring about other people's opinions so much, but he let it go.
"Well you came here, didn't you? Nothing boring about that," Finn replied, biting into the last bit of fish on his plate that he'd felt too full to finish before.
"I didn't really come here because I was unhappy with the job - okay, it may have contributed but..," she began, going all thoughtful again. "Do you want to know why I came?" she asked with a deep sigh, clearly pondering whether she was going to tell him the whole story.
"Honestly - I've been very curious about that the entire time I've known you," Finn admitted.
"Like I said my career was just like taking off on it's own - everything was going like it was 'supposed to'," she explained with air quotes. "I had a fiance, Greg, we'd been together since graduate school, we were talking wedding decor and buying a house…, you know the typical suburban, two point five kids and a dog kind of life…," she shared, making it pretty clear already that something had caused that plan to divert.
"So you crashed and burned," Finn finished her thought, seeing her struggle with the rest.
"Kind of…," she replied. "I know this is kind of personal, but I just want to put this out there. This is also something I am trying to do - I'm trying to speak about this without the dread that I used to. Because it's a part of who I am now," she continued. "I found out I can't have kids. And Greg just couldn't handle it. It wasn't the plan... So within a week and a half we were broken up. I was a sobbing mess and a couple of months later here I was," she explained, summing up the last part rather quickly as if hurrying up made it easier for her somehow.
This was definitely something that toned down their goofy banter and Finn really didn't know how to respond to that.
"Sorry," he managed.
"It's fine - I mean it's not fine - it's unfair to be taken that kind of major choice away from you like that. But by now this is just something I've accepted and Greg was a jerk for when and how he split but I guess it's better I found that out when I did not some years along the way," she explained.
She really did have very good reasons for taking a break from her usual life.
"How do you feel about going back?" Finn asked, what he figured might have been not the easiest of questions, but he was genuinely curious, knowing she was on the last month of her journey.
"Like I don't want to," she admitted. "I mean sure, living off the kind of jobs I've been doing here is not sustainable in the long run either, but it's a lot easier when there aren't people asking how I'm doing," she added.
"When I came here a month ago I was essentially escaping my life too," he admitted. "I usually just come here for December, but I just needed to get away," he added.
Charlie just listened.
"It's really quite unoriginal," Finn noted.
"A girl?" she guessed.
Finn nodded, and took a sip of wine.
"I just took myself out of the picture. It wasn't going to happen. And I'm really not very proud of it," Finn explained, unsure if he dared to come completely clean.
"She was married or something?" she inquired.
"Worse," Finn sighed, just feeling like he needed to say it. "She was a teenager - 16," he admitted, adding quickly, hoping she wouldn't just judge him on that fact too harshly, "but nothing happened. She had a crush on me and my mistake was to let that simmer. I liked her company, friendship and I guess I too got a little attached. And I just needed to take myself out of that picture," he explained.
Charlie simply listened to him, and he couldn't help wondering whether he'd just made her think of him like some predator, no matter the excuses. But it felt good to confess it - after all so far the only other adult who knew was Celeste.
"I've never experienced anything like that before and I know it's very problematic on many levels. But it's not about some older guy drooling over some hot young body - it's even gross to me. It really wasn't that. I just think I was lonely and chose to ignore the blurry line for too long for that reason," he added, surprising himself how openly and insightfully he'd managed to put it.
"I really don't have a lot of experience in maintaining friendships with women - I'll admit. Other than my best friend's wife, the one that named their son after me, I don't think I've ever done it without making mistakes," he continued a little apologetically, understanding very well that what he and Charlie were doing now was pretty borderline too. He was getting attached here - now the question simply was how he handled it.
Silence lingered for a while, just the sound of the waves filling in.
"I think you did the right thing," she added a little hesitantly, as if unsure if he wanted her opinion at all.
Finn raised the corner of his mouth in appreciation. He was no longer upset about the loss of that friendship but the topic was still a little bitter - but she was right - the distance had been what he'd needed. Now he just worried, Charlie would never look at him the same way. Maybe he just shouldn't have been that honest?
"The sky is pretty out here," Charlie said, as she pushed her head back, resting it on top of the backrest, looking up.
"It's much nicer out front," Finn said, raising up and going out on deck. He walked over to the trampoline that was stretched out between the two hulls, and laid down wordlessly.
He hadn't asked her to join him as such, still feeling a little insecure on what he'd just revealed to her, almost just wanting to hide. And it would've been fine if she didn't. But she did.
"I really hope this is strong enough," she said before laying down next to him. It was probably the first hint of insecurity he'd heard from her, but it was kind of sweet and honest.
"If it can hold me, it can definitely hold you too," he replied, with a hint of flirt in his voice, and propped his hands behind his head.
The night sky was definitely something else seen from the Southern Hemisphere, Finn perhaps not appreciating it as much as Charlie did. Out here, away from the cities, it was truly lit up beautifully. And if this had been a date, it would've been the perfect spot to make a move - but it wasn't - right?
"Finn?" Charlie began.
"Yeah?" Fin replied.
"You okay?" she asked, sensing Finn wasn't quite through processing their earlier conversation.
Somehow that simple question touched him. She cared - even if just a little.
He looked over to her, mouthing a weak "yeah".
But what she asked next surprised him.
"Do you think it makes me less of a woman?" Charlie asked, looking up to the sky.
He'd almost expected her to be thinking of what he'd confessed - maybe that changed the way she'd see him - make him weird or gross even. That's how he sometimes saw himself when he through back.
Her revelation, however, hadn't really raised any significant emotions in him except for compassion - it had clearly meant something to her. But what he truly hadn't expected was the fact that she seemed to be worried about his opinion of this. Maybe there was something there and he wasn't completely imagining it? Maybe this was her way of showing her cards out front, not to end up in the same situation as she had with Greg? But he brushed the thought aside for now - the delay in his response needed to be resolved so she wouldn't think he actually thought it.
"Not one bit," he replied. To him the two were not linked - babies didn't make a woman a woman. They were amazing independently. "Do you think I'm a freak?" he asked in response.
"I think you were lonely - I don't know the whole story but as I said, I think you did the right thing in the end. And I don't think it makes you a freak. People make mistakes. People act out of character when they're lost. Hell, I travelled across the globe to pour coffee for some juppies and shovel shit just to find myself, I sang karaoke for the first time, I slept in a room with 18 other people, I almost convinced myself that I'd never want another man in my life ever again," Charlie replied.
"Almost?" he just felt like he had to ask. Just the context of how she'd said it woke some hope in him.
"Well… I'm not really in the best possible location to admit this, as there is no escape route, but…," she began, taking a deep breath. "I kind of like you, Finn," she exhaled. The nervousness she'd said it with really left no room for alternate interpretations. "I know what I said that one time and maybe it's just some version of Damsel and Knight syndrome or something…, and if it's weird for you, you can just take me back in the morning and it'll be the last you'll hear of me," she added, clearly blabbering nervously.
God, how she was cute like that, worrying about this - about him - he thought.
"Hey," he turned to his side, facing her. "I like you too," he said smilingly, his tone calming her.
Finn brushed her palm with his fingers gently. The old Finn would've just reached over and kissed her right there, probably tried something more. But for once he didn't want to rush it and he knew that saying it out loud would've sounded almost too corny. But he desperately wanted to do things differently, to do things right.
"Hey you never told me what you did?" Charlie replied, perfectly breaking the anticipation of something more to happen that night. Clearly she wasn't ready for things to escalate too quickly either, falling back onto the conversation that didn't seem to tire, allowing both to breath a little easier.
AN: And Charlie's sister Olivia is that same Olivia, so there's definitely a connection there.