AN: First of all, huge thanks for all the reviews! Loved them!
And I am really well aware that there is a lot going on - a lot of characters and storylines - I just got bored writing just ROGAN and JODETTE, sorry. I'm considering tieing a bunch of lines up quite soon and then doing a skip in time and starting a sequal, so I can just skip over covid (as much as possible).
"Yvette?" Celeste asked, staring in confusion at her mother's assistant, something similar to lady-in-waiting in her case, whom she hadn't seen in person in at least four years. Inside she was cursing though - why hadn't she checked which buyer it was, which dresses. She hadn't even cheked the camer for who it was! Crap! - she curse to herself.
The woman glanced her over, as if checking if it was really her, but clearly the resemblence was still evident despite a different haircut and a few extra pounds.
"Ta mère aimerait te voir," the petite older woman, dressed in black Armani from head to toe, said, handing her an envelope.
Celeste didn't know what to say. First of all she really hadn't expected it to be her, someone so close to the mother, secondly she was doing the math in her head whether her mother could've gotten her letter already and had time to travel which seemed unlikely, and thirdly how the hell did they know it was her behind all of this, feeling stupid having just cluelessly walked into their lap. Without thinking she accepted the letter and almost shoved the heavy pile of dresses to Yvette's hands, which Yvette clearly hadn't expecting to be actually accepting, the small woman under that pile almost looking like she was about to fall.
Without another word she shut the door in her face.
Celeste wasn't really able to think straight, her breath feeling too shallow to provide her body with oxygen, making her breathing more rapid. Her heart pounded and her entire body felt like it was shaking from the cold, yet at the same time feeling sweaty and hot. The distant sound of Cass Elliot's 'Make Your Own Kind of Music' coming from the upstairs kitchen speakers which Maya often blasted when she was cooking, was now just muffled in her ears almost sounding like it was mocking her, her eyesight turning into tunnel vision. She sank down onto the floor, holding onto the wall - she hadn't felt this since… since Noah.
Her brain made enough sense though that she now knew what this was, hence though with a struggle, she just kept focusing on her breathing. It took a good ten minutes for her vision and the ringing in her ears to return to normal. And it was before that that Rory came downstairs to look for her, because Jess had called on Celeste's phone that she'd left upstairs. Thankfully the twins had settled pretty soon, and G, while still upset, was at least calm enough to keep an eye on them for a few minutes.
"Celeste!" Rory called out, seeing her on the floor.
"I'm okay, I'm almost okay…," Celeste replied, in an unsteady voice.
"What happened?" Rory asked, crouching down next to her.
She wasn't quite ready to retell the very course of events but at first gestured for Rory to give her a hand in support to get up. The letter was clutched in her palm, and she wasn't really aware how hard she was holding it.
"What's this?" Rory asked, referring to the letter.
"That would be a letter from my mother. That was just her assistant," Celeste explained. Now thinking back that hardly seemed like something that severe that should've caused a panic attack, but she figure it was just the whole situation - her stress levels being high to begin with, after everything with G, and then just being hit with a blast from the past - it had just been too much for her.
"Panic attack?" Rory asked, seeing it from her face that she hadn't been fine.
"Hm-hm," she mumbled, feeling so stupid for her body reacting like this.
"Do you need anything?" Rory asked, calling up to the half-floor where the Maya was, "Maya, can you bring us some water, please?" Rory led her to Logan's study that was just off the foyer, the couch over there being much closer than the parlor.
"You should go check on the kids," Celeste reminded her.
"Oh, right," Rory recalled, having left them with G, who was a mess herself.
Thankfully it was then Cathy stepped through the front door, making the two let out a deep exhale. There were the reinforcements. After making sure Celeste got a glass of cool water and Cathy knew where she was needed, Rory sat down next to Celeste.
"Do you want me to call Jess for you?" Roy asked, after hugging her.
"I should, but I don't want him to start driving here to come and get me… he should just be getting Evie from daycare," Celeste explained, not wanting to be a burden. But it wasn't like she knew what to say to him, having not even opened the letter yet.
Rory was worried about her and really didn't listen to Celeste at that point, besides - it was Jess who had just called as well, clearly having wanted to talk to her about something. Hence she simply dialled Jess without thinking more about it.
"Hello?" Jess asked, somewhat surprisedly, seeing that it was Rory calling.
"Hi, I'll just switch you to speaker," she replied.
"Everything okay?" Jess asked.
"Celeste had a panic attack, she's better now… I think…," Rory explained, her arm across Celeste's back.
"I'm fine… I just…," Celeste began, not wanting him to worry.
"What happened?" Jess asked, having some street sounds in his background. Celeste could guess Jess had just been walking towards Evie's daycare.
"I thought I was just handing some dresses over to the courier, I didn't check - and just.. It was Yvette, my mom's assistant, and she handed me a letter from her, and I just crashed for a moment," Celeste explained, not wanting to make it sound as horrible as it had felt.
"You're sure you're okay?" Jess asked for confirmation.
In the meanwhile Rory texted to G, who was upstairs a quick recap of what was going on, feeling bad for just having cut their earlier conversation short, not knowing how much worse that really made G feel. It seemed to G that her issues were always of the least priority.
"Yeah," Celeste sighed.
"What did she want? Did you read the letter?" Jess asked, knowing that what Celeste must've been experiencing was a whole whirlwind of emotions.
It wasn't exactly nice to think of her going through something as scary as a panic attack, even if thinking back, things made a lot more sense to her.
"I haven't yet," Celeste replied. "But she said she wanted to see me," she added.
"She did? Or your mother?" Jess needed to clarify.
"My mother," Celeste added.
Neither Rory or Jess needed to ask the questions that were on everyone's mind - was her mother in New York and what did she want?
"Right - don't leave until I get there," Jess instructed sternly.
"But…," Celeste began to object.
"It's fine - I just saw Lorelai and she's having a movie night - Evie will be fine with her, I'm sure she won't mind. I don't want you taking the train back home after something this. And if you don't feel like it now, we'll just read the letter together," Jess suggested calmly.
Celeste had nearly forgotten that she wasn't in town with her car but had taken the train, and truly with any chance of another panic attack happening, she really didn't want to be alone on public transportation.
Rory was almost about to suggest that she could just have Hallam take her, but she'd just told him yesterday he could have the evening off to go to his mother's birthday, and she really didn't want to have to pull him to work.
"Okay," she sighed, still feeling like a burden.
"Hang in there, I love you," Jess said to her.
Rory really hadn't heard on many occasions Jess tell Celeste that other than during their wedding, and for a brief second the time he'd told that to her, ages ago, flashed in her mind. There wasn't anything left of that, of course, not in that sense - but it made her appreciate his love for Celeste even more. That's what a husband was supposed to do - come to support his wife even if it was inconvenient. That was also why she understood more and more why it was important that Jess published that book, the idea of editing it growing on her by the second, not that Jess had even offered.
"How's G?" Celeste asked, surprising Rory, really not feeling ready to read the letter and not wanting to think about what had just happened, after the phone call ended.
"A little better - I think a little relieved actually. She told me about Finn…," Rory explained. For the ten minutes that Celeste had been away G had told what the relationship - friendship - had been with Finn, and in many ways she actually understood. Finn was incredibly easy to like, despite his faults and ways. What she didn't quite understand was Finn's side in this.
"Are you mad at me?" Celeste asked with hesitance. She was pretty sure that that fear for Rory hating her for not telling her about this, had in fact contributed to the reaction she'd just had. Rory was a major pillar of her life, though she knew from therapy that she really wasn't supposed to lean on others as much as she did.
"I want to say 'no', especially after this…," Rory began, picking her words. "But I'm not sure if that'd be the truth… I get it that nothing actually happened and you made a promise, but I feel like it was something I should've known. It's been going on for a while and you've known for over a month," she explained, feeling a little betrayed.
"It wasn't just her secret, it was Finn's too - he was really confused. So confused that he just took himself out of the picture not to hurt her more," Celeste explained, quietly.
"Oh wow," Rory exhaled, beginning to finally understand better why Finn had been in such an hurry to leave and his coldness just an hour ago when she'd suggest to him to say 'hi' to G over the phone.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Celeste apologized. "I guess I just felt a sense of purpose… like I was someone she trusted, you know. I thought that if it wasn't really something that was no longer happening - that you didn't really need to know. That it wouldn't have made a difference. Finn made a mistake by letting it go on, but I think he did the right thing in the end," she explained.
"But she's still hurting, she's watching him fall in love from the sidelines," Rory stated, being genuinely worried for G now, having heard her mention Finn's photos online. "He didn't just disappear, did he? Did he explain at least?" she asked.
"They talked, but I think he made it sound like it was just her - which I frankly thought was the right thing at the time. I think he thought she'd get past this faster like that," Celeste replied.
"But now she thinks she's broken, that's she's imagining things - she must feel so alone," Rory pondered, genuinely feeling for her. She didn't know how to get through to G, how to really help her.
"But it's not something for us to tell. When I spoke to Finn - he didn't actually say it either so I can really only speculate on the feeling I got. And now - seeing from the pictures that he's been posting, he's clearly moving on," Celeste added.
"He definitely is. Logan told me this morning that he's never seen him like that, that he's pretty sure Finn is falling for Charlie, that's her name…," Rory shared.
"Wow, I can't even imagine Finn like that - actually with a girlfriend," Celeste sighed, quite appreciating the distraction the conversation was providing.
"He deserves happiness too," Rory noted.
"Absolutely," Celeste agreed.
"But what are we going to do with G?" Rory inquired.
"Did she say anything about therapy…? Is she really that against it?" Celeste asked.
"She didn't mention it again…," she replied with a shrug, the silence lingering.
What neither had, however, accounted for, was G sitting on the stairs in the side-staircase, having been unable to stay in the room after Cathy had arrived, barely in earshot - hearing not all, but just enough.
"I should go check on the kids," Rory noted, rising from the couch, and headed up the curved staircase that connected the first three floors. Celeste followed her, frankly, still needing the distraction, yet her fingers firmly clutching on the letter in her hand, which she'd for a moment almost forgotten about.
Upstairs Rory inquired from Cathy, who was busy with the twins, where G had gone, but had gotten an uncertain response that perhaps she'd gone up the stairs to her apartment, which Rory really couldn't blame her for. Wanting to be alone was no suprise. Yet she made it a point for her to go check on her later. She didn't want to leave her alone at a time like this for long.
As the two left, G, however, snuck down to the foyer, grabbed her oversized down jacket and was out the door even before she stopped to put it on. The cold air shocked away the tears in her eyes, adjusting to the outside air. Not knowing where she was going she just walked, wearing just a pair of sneakers and a light pair of leggings, not really dressed for the weather. She just couldn't be in that house anymore.
She felt deep anger towards Finn for doing that to her. For lying. For making her feel so horrible after their call. For leaving. And for being able to move on. She hated the way everyone else around her knew more than she did, that Rory and Celeste talked about her - that they felt they were allowed to meddle. She felt stupid for not being able to separate her feelings from her thoughts. She felt like maybe they were right - maybe her issues were bigger than herself, maybe she was a freak?
Feeling alone, angry and hurt - she just walked down 7th Avenue, appreciating the anonymity the city street provided. She didn't want to face anyone, hence pulling the hood over her head. Not knowing where else to go she just headed towards Lincoln Square. Maybe Brody would just make her forget again? They could perhaps just get drunk together? Forgetting and not feeling what she was feeling, was all she wanted to do.
Some minutes later, she looked up at the dirty grey brick building, wondering if she prehaps should've texted him first. But as some woman was just leaving Brody's building, she slipped in without a second thought. It was three flights of stairs, which she climbed perhaps a little too quickly, leaving her slightly out of breath despite being quite used to stairs. She hoped he was home, having never really dropped by unannounced before. She knocked and waited.
"You guys sure are quick," Brody commented, not really paying much attention at first, clearly expecting a food delivery rather than her, as he opened the door in his boxers and a light robe that hung open.
G barely managed to cast a fake smile on her lips, mouthing a weak 'hi'.
"G, what are you doing here?" he asked.
"I just needed to go somewhere, I hope it's okay?" she said in a shaky voice.
While the outside air had reduced the puffyness her face, her eyes were still red enough for him to notice something was up.
"Now really isn't the best time," Brody replied, his eyes glancing back towards his bedroom, making it clear that he had company.
"Oh.. sorry," G said, feeling even worse now. What was she thinking - they weren't exclusive? He didn't owe her an explanation even!
G began to turn and head off, honestly just wanting to sink into the ground, but she just didn't know where to go.
"G? You okay?" Brody asked, seeing that just something about her body language wasn't right.
G really couldn't answer that question, and sank down on the stairs in sobs.
"I'm so sorry…," G cried.
Brody stroked her back for a moment and for a second G actually felt like maybe he did actually care a little. But it didn't make the situation any better. It wasn't enough to make her feel better.
"I'd invite you in but that really wouldn't be a good idea right now, I'm sorry," he apologized. "But listen, how about I'll order you a car and have it take you home… or Philipa's?" he suggested.
"That's alright, I walked here, I can walk back…, I just need a moment," G replied, with a whimper, desperately trying to pull herself together.
"You walked here?!" Brody exclaimed, the statement making it very clear that something was very wrong. Nobody just walked for an hour in this cold voluntarily, especially not G who was very much a fan of the warmth. "What's going on G?" he asked with concern.
"I'm just such a mess, I'm sorry..," she sobbed, still unable to explain herself.
He let her cry on his shoulder for a few minutes, not saying a word.
"Give me your phone," Brody insisted, after a while.
"Why?" she asked, but handed it to him anyways.