After Jess and Celeste had gone off to the Plaza, with intention to drive straight home after, G had cosied up on the parlor couch in her father's grey Boston sweatshirt to hang out with Rory. Feeling Rory care by allowing her to sleep with her had felt good, she'd truly needed that. But what this had also shown her was that Rory didn't have it very easy either. This had been one of these nights when not only did Rory have to get up and feed the twins around 4 AM, but also Finny had woken an hour before the twins, making Rory's sleep even more interrupted. And while G knew that that's what being a mother meant - she hadn't really experienced it as closely as from the same bed, waking for a minute too when Rory did, or when she returned to bed. So once again she felt like she really couldn't blame Rory for her lack to time and attention. But this made her actually want to help out more, feeling like maybe this was what would provide her with the healthier distraction at this point.
Thankfully all the kids were quite enjoying simple lounging time that Saturday morning - Finny simply coloring some of his coloring pages on the coffee table while the twins were on the couch beside them, so they could easily just keep an eye on them while they watched some old Scrubs reruns.
At some point, Rory got a call from Celeste, who gave her an overview of what had happened with her mother while she and Jess were driving back to Stars Hollow, and overall the lightness of which Rory was commenting on it, left also G a little curious to what had happened. She was still angry at Celeste, but interested nonetheless, just unwilling to admit it yet.
What she'd herself spent that morning on already, while Celeste and Jess had been around, had been a thorough procedure of unfollowing Finn from every social media channel she used. While Finn was mostly just about Facebook and Instagram, he on occasion also reposted some stuff elsewhere, hence she wanted to be thorough, going according to Rosalie's recommendations. She'd also deleted the content of the file he'd made for her about the off the beaten path things to do in New York, her being unable to delete the shared file altogether. What still hurt was that she really knew the list by heart by now and whenever she walked around the City the places would remind her of him just the same.
As she now sat on that couch, half paying attention to J.D's and Turk's banter on the TV screen, casually browsing through her feed on her phone, which now felt empty - like there wasn't enough happening that actually interested her.
"Anything interesting?" Rory asked as she returned to the couch, putting her own phone away.
"Quite the opposite really. I'm trying to think of what else interests me - maybe I should follow something new," she admitted. This was not really something teenagers struggled with, but she was just tired - tired of last night and tired of hiding anything, actually feeling a little relieved Rory knew about what had happened.
"Give me that?" Rory asked, and G relented, handing over the phone, deciding to trust her.
A few minutes later Rory had followed numerous feminist and female-empowering Instagram accounts on her phone, including writers, politicians, activists and to blend in with the rest some that she'd planned on introducing to her all along - sadgirlsclub and crisistextline for mental health support and after brief consideration whether that wouldn't be asking for trouble even freethenipple, hoping she'd not just get inspiration but maybe just broaden her worldview a bit. She wanted her to see that defining oneself didn't mean defining onself through the opinion of men.
"Thanks", she said as she accepted it. She got what she was doing, but frankly again it felt like giving up some control and promised herself to give it a try.
"You know, I think it's good you're going to France for the holidays. I mean I'll miss you and I don't want to get rid of you, but I know that taking a trip can really help sometimes," Rory shared.
"Yeah, I guess," she replied. The trouble was that going to her mother's place meant a lot of talking that her mother wanted to do, and she simply felt talked out.
"You know, before I met Logan I had a crush that I wasn't really supposed to have. He wasn't older, he was my first boyfriend actually whom I dated twice, well three times actually. But at the time… he was actually married," Rory recalled. "I'm not proud of it but I was partially the reason his marriage fell apart, he literally got thrown out of their home because of a letter that I wrote to him," Rory continued.
"So you had an affair…," G summarized as she saw it. It certainly showed G another side of her sister.
"I guess… technically. But it just didn't feel like it was that, like he'd been mine first, you know" Rory explained. She knew her reasoning wasn't terribly valid in this case, and well… truthfully she'd always been a little fuzzy on socially acceptable lines, putting what she felt first. Same with Logan. She was selfish, putting her feelings in a moment in front of others, but more than anything, both those times, she herself hadn't been doing so well either - it had been a survival mechanism more than anything.
"So what did you do?" G asked.
"I went to Europe with my grandmother for the summer, she invited and I just let her take me," Rory explained, recalling the relief of giving up control just like G was feeling right now, not that neither knew that was what they were sharing at the time. "It gave me some distance, things were just too unfinished with him for me to stay around," she added.
"Did it work?" she inquired further, as she pulled Emma to her chest as she was getting a little restless on the couch.
"For the time being. I thought more clearly. But as I'd loved him for years before, seeing him get married had been hard, those feelings really didn't go anywhere, it just enabled me to not continue being the mistress, you know," Rory tried to explain.
"So it didn't work?" G inquired with some confusion.
"I dated him for a bit afterwards, but then we just grew apart - like I hate to say it but I guess I ran in more high society crowds than he did and was more focused on my studies, while he was always working. There was the distance. It just didn't work," Rory recalled with a shrug.
"How did you get over him eventually?" G asked, quite enjoying the physical comfort cuddling a baby gave her at the same time.
Rory thought back for a moment - Logan most certainly had had a major impact in that process. He'd been the perfect distraction, even if he hadn't really been hers.
"Well… I guess I had already begun to slowly distance myself from him to be honest, so I wasn't as emotionally involved when he finally broke it off. I was just clinging onto a memory. I just hadn't dared to do it myself, I hadn't even admitted it to myself. But I guess the real answer is that I learned how to enjoy college - party, or like Logan would say 'form subparties' was often the answer," she added, thinking back.
"So your advice is for me to go to parties?" G inquired with a crooked eyebrow, knowing too well that she was essentially just teasing her.
"Go to parties, but easy on the alcohol, okay? It may seem like it makes things more fun, but it can also bring down the mood," Rory decided to add, laughingly, hoping she'd really consider it. G needed to go out with her friends and enjoy her youth, she just needed to do it in a way that put the wellbeing of her body and mind first.
"Let's go out tonight," Finn suggested to Charlie as they were having lunch at a small casual Trattoria near his sister's place that day.
"Sure, what do you have in mind?" Charlie asked, biting onto her ravioli. Dining together, in any form, had been such a norm by now - she could almost order for him in most places, knowing what he tended to like. In very many ways they were taking the quick route in getting to know each other.
"I was thinking Soul'Sa night at Cloudland. It's a little fancy but it's good music and food, some dancing - I haven't really taken you dancing before," Finn suggested.
"It sounds like fun, but I don't know… I don't really have a lot of fancy stuff to wear, just the yellow…," Charlie admitted, referring to the only fancy dress she really had right now. She hadn't planned on bar hopping or dating anyone before he came along - hence she'd been travelling very light and already having bought a number of things just for their date. It wasn't even about the money - she had the money - it was rather about trying to live more minimalistically than she had back home and only really spending as much as she earned - and that she was already spending.
"Let me take care of it, I'll take you shopping," Finn offered, pleadingly, but he could already see her impression turn into a slightly scolding one. "I know what you said - you have your principles, but I just want to enjoy our time, be carefree and why not - indulge a little. I don't want you to have to worry about what to wear. This is what I do - I know all these places and I want you to experience them to the fullest. I want to show you what the city has to offer, and while sure - I could just go surfing with you, have simple dinners and simply stay in bed with you all day - I just don't think that's the whole of me you'd be seeing in that case," he explained.
"Fine, but I'll pay for it, okay?" Charlie insisted.
"No, I said I'll take you. So, it's on me, okay?" Finn didn't let go.
"I'll get the clothes, you'll take care of the evening, alright?" she argued.
"Well there really isn't that much for me to take care of when it comes to the evening, I sort of have a share in the place so they'll just bill me the net costs later," Finn admitted.
"Of course you do," Charlie noted, feeling quite entertained by his revelations that just kept popping up and surprising her.
"So please, let me do this for you… I want to," he said with a puppy-dog face.
"Oh fine..," she muttered playfully, those eyes definitely becoming her weak spot.
She knew that this probably wasn't a huge expense for him, having seen him decide to get a new car on a whim largely because the old one smelled of a bushfire, how he himself seemed to live both from his stories and pictures that he'd show her. She even quite enjoyed him taking care of her - he was genuinely a very caring and generous person. But she didn't like what this type of action said to other people - they might have suggested she was enjoying his generosity perhaps a bit much or that she was in it for the wrong reasons, despite her not being too bad off herself. But here - she was essentially just a simple helping hand, very much out of the role of a lawyer who'd worked herself up the corporate ladder.
To Finn this offer really meant a lot less than to her. It was just the means of making her feel special, and he'd frankly done it for women who were far less importance to him.
Two hours later the two stood at the end of one of the main shopping streets in Fortitude Valley, just a few blocks off Ann St where Charlie's apartment was located. They'd been to this neighborhood together before, the unfortunate attempt for their first official date at the Greek restaurant. The area was definitely upscale, the line of high fashion stores lining the street. Thankfully most of the shops were about what she really wasn't looking for - menswear, accessories, jewellery and so on, and Charlie felt a little relieved as Finn didn't insist on entering every single one. But as they reached Sass Ben, a store that by it's look seemed to sell a variety of designer clothing, Charlie felt a sense of panic.
"You're not taking me in there are you?" Charlie asked, seeing Finn approaching it.
"Why, yeah?" Finn replied. It was the place he knew his sister liked, when she wasn't after her more colorful attire.
"I'd really rather not," Charlie squinted her eyes.
"Why not?" Finn asked, really wanting her to just enjoy herself and not think about price tags.
"There are probably like two things in there that fit me. These places are…," she sighed, thinking how to put it, adding, "like meant to make girls like me feel bad about ourselves. So while I am sure you meant well and it's a great place - I'd rather just go somewhere simpler, where they have some more options," Charlie explained.
Most designer stores hardly ever sold sizes above 10, 12 if one was lucky, and this was something she'd fallen for more than once when she'd been younger - trying to buy what the magazines told her one should wear to be trendy, yet only discovering when going into those stores, more often than not, were the glances of 'what are you looking for here' or alternatively store assistants trying to desperately sell her some wider fitting models which were sizes smaller than they should've been, in the end not fitting like they were supposed to and hardly ever complimented one's curves. She'd bought a bunch of stuff that had just ended up hanging in her closet back in the day, not wanting to admit that she didn't really like them in the first place.
"I'm sorry, I didn't even think about it," Finn confessed. Charlie was on the curvier side, sure, but he didn't see her as plus size. She was just her - she was perfect just the way she was, and he frankly found it outrageous that places that charged three or four figures of most major clothing items, didn't cater to the average demographic - that if clothing size could be considered a demographic.
"It's fine - it's not like you've ever…," she began, unsure how to put it, not wanting to offend him either.
She was pretty sure she was probably one of the more curvier girls he'd ever dated, and she had to admit, it was making her feel a little self conscious. While trying to care less about what people thought about her and actually quite liking her body herself, it was still the occasional glances she noticed - random women in the streets clearly checking Finn out and then glancing over her, as if she was dating someone out of her league - and they hadn't even been out that many times yet.
Instead of saying anything Finn simply stroked her back, and wrapped his arm around the small of her back and they continued to walk down the street. To be honest - he really was in uncharted territory here, having never really had to think about things like this. He really didn't want to offend her or subject her to anything she wasn't comfortable with, but it was a fragile balance - not wanting to make it an issue altogether, as it really wasn't an issue for him, while taking it into account that one wrong step or word might make it seem like it was one.
Eventually they just ended up walking for a bit, taking the direction towards Downtown to the more mainstream stores while looking at the colorful street art that the local streets offered and talking about something they'd started talking about the other night about. They'd started telling each other their secrets, starting with the smaller ones while working their way up to the major ones as a means of building their trust. Committing to doing this exercise with each-other was a major step already.
"When I was fifteen or so I used to write really corny poetry. Like dwelling in my angst kind of poetry," Charlie confessed.
"I had a bit of a thing for serenades and re-citing the classics in college," Finn pitched in.
"And I thought you were a business major," Charlie commented.
"I was - just the English and Drama department had a lot more girls," he replied cheekily. He wasn't aiming on revealing his number - no good would ever come of it and she wasn't asking, probably assuming the same, but he wasn't going to hide that part of him completely, as this made up a large part of who he was or at least had been, also a lot of his more entertaining stories containing various bits about his ventures. Without any of them, he was pretty sure, he's life would've been rather boring to be honest, hence he made it a point to just stick to the overall stories and just watch it so he wouldn't go into too much detail that he might have shared to his buddies.
"I can actually picture that," Charlie said, laughingly. Finn was very much the theathric type, making it very easy to imagine him fitting in with that type of crowd.
Finn smiled and for a moment thought what he would've perhaps written about her - her person and her body definitely being a source of inspiration.
"Alright, my turn I think…," Charlie said, thinking back. "I'm not sure if this counts - but I really can't sign. Karaoke is like my worst nightmare," she admitted.
"I've always been rather the sing loudly and off-key type of person myself" he chuckled, trying to think what else he should confess. "Alright… this one is a little bit more serious one. I've gotten a DUI twice, just over the limit. I was young and stupid, but on my defence it was just residual. Got behind the wheel a little sooner than I should've," he revealed, knowing this really wasn't speaking in his benefit. Little by little these confessions were becoming more about the serious regrets and less so about the small embarrassments in life like being caught urinating in public on campus or something similar.
Charlie didn't really know what to say to that. Surely it wasn't something to joke about. But this was what they'd agreed upon - full disclosure.
"Thanks for telling me that," Charlie said. She stopped in the street and hugged him, seeing him worry about her reaction. If it was in the past she was pretty sure she could live with that.
"I once shoplifted as a child. Nail polish. My mom wouldn't buy it, so I just took it anyway. I was maybe 9 or something. Never got caught, but I was scared for months after that someone was going to find out so I don't think I ever even used it," she shared.
"Me and my buddies sank a yacht in Fiji once," Finn continued.
"And you convinced me to go on a boat with you?" Charlie eyed him with some pretend fury.
"And that's the reason I didn't tell you before. It was a drunken fluke - as any of my real regrets really - but this one was probably more Logan's fault than anything. He wanted to sink it. He was testing it's limits. Essentially, just to piss off his dad. There was this big mess with the Coast Guard," Finn explained, continuing to tell the full story.
"So you've really sailed a lot, haven't you?" she asked.
"Well, we did make it all the way from New Haven to Panama, Hawaii and Fiji. It was supposed to be around the world trip, but we never made it past Fiji. But we had some crew on board to help out," he admitted. "But I've sailed independently with Sylvie or my dad a lot too," he added.
"I've always wondered what it'd be like, to really be off the grid like that. Out on the sea for days on end, just relying on everything on board, and the sails like it used to be in the old days," Charlie pondered.
"Well.. if you want we could, you know…," Finn suggested. "There's plenty to explore - Coochiemudlo, Moreton Island, Caloundra… we could even go back up to the Whitsundays if you want or Lord Howe - though it's a bit of a trip there - 4-5 days one way?" Finn discussed.
Charlie knew that if Finn offered something, he usually did really mean it. But with a longer trip like that she knew she'd pretty much need to quit her job for it. And while it truly seemed like a tempting offer, she wasn't quite sure she just wanted to take him away like that from his family during the holidays.
"I'd love that, honestly. But I don't know… the work, the timing… your dad..," she explained her hesitance not quite liking the idea of borrowing his dad's boat again, as if being a burden.
"My dad would be fine, he's got other boats. And blow off work," Finn suggested in a carefree manner. "I mean seriously - we're both here, we're on the break of our lives, right?" he added, beginning to believe more and more than they truly needed to be living their time to the fullest.
"I'll think about it, okay?" Charlie replied. It was very tempting, but it was also kind of serious. It would be him and her on a boat together possibly for an entire week or more, and while they'd really done things the quick way, quite the opposite to what they'd originally said they'd do - this was a real commitment. A commitment not to want to kill each other, to get past whatever problems they encountered together - it was the ultimate test in a way, but she wasn't sure if that was something she was fully ready just yet.
Finn didn't reply, simply nodded. He didn't know it, but they really were very much on the same page right now - liking the thought, but unsure if they were really ready for it.
"I used to be addicted to SimCity," Charlie said, changing the subject to something lighter.
Finn chuckled, feeling utterly relieved to learn that she admitted to like gaming.
"I'm quite a gamer actually back home - not SimCity, but I like the ones that have good visuals. I don't usually admit this, as it's really a huge waste of time," he added, laughingly.
"You're not into those shooter games, are you?" Charlie asked, squinting her nose.
"I've played a few, but I like RTS or adventure types more - Alan Wade, Vanishing of Ethan Carter, Firewatch," Finn explained.
"I haven't played in years, Greg thought it was a pointless waste of time. He really didn't like me doing it, always worrying if I was chatting with some other guys while online," Charlie said, feeling more and more like she hadn't really been able to be herself for all those years she'd been with him. "I also used to buy way too many clothes," Charlie admitted, changing the subject again, not wanting to talk about Greg really, as they reached the stores, explaining in part her desire to cut back on the shopping like she'd had for nearly a year.
"I've always had someone clean my apartment, I probably don't even know how anymore," Finn confessed in return, as they stepped into the HM, Finn allowing Charlie to decide where she wanted to go.
Finn observed with curiosity as she somehow managed to scavenge a pile of very tasteful and not at all fast-fashion looking items, mostly from the Conscious or Premium lines, which she took to the dressing room.
"You can come in if you want," she suggested, seeing the place really had no good place for him to wait, and he entered the changing booth without much defiance.
Charlie tried on a couple of dresses - some more formal, some more relaxed, almost beachy, and a set of silk shorts and top.
With a few items Finn could tell her being a little too critical of herself, not liking the way something made her look.
As she tried on another top, with the silk shorts she already quite liked still on, he could tell she was again being a little too critical of herself. He couldn't help blame himself a little - maybe by starting their shopping trip off with the wrong foot even, making her feel more self concious than she should be feeling. He wished she'd see what he saw.
"You look beautiful, Charlie," he said, just as she took the blouse she'd tried on off over her head, surprising her by pulling her close by her hips, while he himself kept sitting in the corner seat and kissed the top of her stomach, just below her bra, making her smile. It was so effortless, yet appreciated at that moment, while there being nothing grandiose about the situation or location whatsoever.