AN: Yesterday turned out a lot worse than I expected - long day at work and ended up with a nasty headache - hence no chapter. But here it comes. I hope you like it!
It was near midnight when Jess had woken for a sec and had gone to get a glass of water, feeling parched. Within a half a year he'd gotten used to the quietness of Stars Hollow, and was on alert much more whenever he came to New York - it was difficult to understand how he'd managed to adapt so quickly to new conditions.
As he was returning and got back in bed, Evie sleeping in the small study that their 5th floor apartment had and Celeste next to her, he heard a small whimper. I
He sighed, and got back up, pulled on his t-shirt and headed to search for what sounded like Leo. After all it was him and Lorelai and Luke who were staying on the same floor with them.
The hallway was dark, but the light in the stairway, the one that illuminated the stairs, was on and the little hunched figure sat on those stairs, sobbing. Jess didn't really know what he was doing out of his room - but there he was, in his pajamas.
"Hey," Jess said, taking a seat next to the boy.
"I'm sorry," the boy said, like he often did - starting it off with an apology, fearing people would be upset with him.
"It's okay, you don't need to hide if you're feeling upset," Jess said.
"Did anything happen or are you just feeling a little anxious about the decision the judge is going to make?" Jess made a fair guess.
"I had a bad dream. I don't want to go to go live with Andrea," Leo said, hiding his face in his palms. What Jess didn't know was that he'd been having a lot of them recently and didn't quite dare to go wake Luke and Lorelai when that happened, again fearing as if they'd be angry at him for waking them. Sure, Lorelai wasn't the cheeriest when woken in the middle of her sleep, but neither wouldn't have really blamed him if they had known.
"Hey, I get it," Jess said, placing his arm over Leo's shoulders supportively. He felt weird doing it - he didn't have this type of experience either, supporting someone like this other than Celeste.
"But you know what? I that does happen, which I hope it won't - it doesn't mean that you'll lose us, okay? Yes, we may not be around all the time, but you can call or write to us and when you're old enough you can come to visit. You're always welcome, you know that, right?" Jess assured.
"I think…," Leo whimpered. "That Lorelai just doesn't dare to tell me what the decision was, that maybe they already said no. I heard her crying earlier," he added.
"I don't know - she told us she didn't know yet," Jess sighed, hoping it wasn't true. "But sometimes in life things just are this way - decisions are not up to us. And we're not always dealt a good set of cards, you know...," he continued. "I wasn't either - I grew up without my dad and my mom used to do drugs. She's doing better now, but when I was growing up - I didn't really want to be around her either. It wasn't a very nice life - we lived in this crappy apartment, hardly had any food in the fridge," Jess shared. "But what helped me were the books, even if the world around me wasn't where I wanted to be, I could just read and forget for those hours where I was. I mean - I could've done a lot of things better like doing better in school at the time. It would've made a lot of things easier. And when my mom sent me to Luke so I could live in Stars Hollow, I almost felt like she was punishing me for not doing well. But it was one of the best things that could've happened to me. I didn't really understand it then. But what I mean is that Luke and Lorelai are definitely not people who can just cut you out of their lives if things don't go as planned. Even though I haven't always gotten along with Luke at times, he has stuck by me - I always have a place to go with him. Even if I feel all alone in the world," Jess explained, recalling a sentence Rory had once used in her memoir he'd begun to edit - once Luke Danes is in your life, he is in your life forever. He didn't know the context where Rory had gotten it at the time, and if it had sounded less corny, he might have even said it. But he did know it was the truth.
Jess was pretty sure, everything he'd just said was perhaps a little too complicated for the boy. It was not like Jess had a lot of experience talking to 8, almost 9-year-olds.
"Does that make sense?" he asked.
"A little," the boy wiped his tears into the edge of his t-shirt.
"I promise you - even if the news is not what we all want - you'll have us. If you ever need help, you send us an e-mail or call us and we'll do our best to help, okay?" he assured him.
It was then Leo surprised Jess by reaching his arms around his waist from the side and hugged him. Jess could tell he was still sniffling a little, but he truly hoped it had helped. There was so much of himself he saw in that boy.
"So land transport is no longer up to your standards, big brother?" Tessa, Finn's little sister asked and pushed her sunglasses to the top of her nose. She was hanging out on a recliner under a sunshade, just in her bikini, a book in hand, by the mooring next to Sylvies oldest, Dawn, who appeared to be asleep or possibly just hung over. Finn and Charlie had just disembarked the catamaran, at his older brother's place upstream Brisbane river, being the last ones to arrive.
"Nothing less but a smooth ride for Charlie here. I recall the roads being a little bumpy on the way here last time," Finn teased with a straight face, carrying a large tote with everyone's presents with him.
"Hi," Charlie said, hesitantly. She'd felt like this was a special occasion enough to dress up - the yellow lace dress kind of occasion, but somehow on the boat that just seemed too restrictive, hence she'd leaned towards the wine red wrap dress, which was a bit easier to move in. She felt it was too much of a clubbing outfit really, but she knew Finn loved it, teasing her by threatening to pull the knot open at least a couple of times a day. None of her other outfits had really suitable for the day that she'd been nervous about for days. This wasn't just meeting the parents, it was meeting the entire family.
Finn noted even Dawn looking up for a sec, before her head fell back to the recliner.
"Hi back," Tessa said. Tessa looked a lot like Finn actually - the hair being very similar but longer, the eyes just as blue and her frame just as edgy but perhaps even skinnier, and Charlie would've definitely been able to tell they were related if she hadn't known.
"This is Charlie. Charlie, this is Tessa, Dawn," Finn introduced, gesturing at each of them respectively. "Though I probably should've brought name tags today," he added with a sneaky smile.
Tessa pulled herself up from the recliner, placing her book down and stepped up to shake Charlie's hand as they reached land.
"Nice to meet you, there's a first time for everything…," Tessa said, raising her sunglasses on top of her head, and glanced between the two.
Dawn waved her hand slightly but didn't bother getting up right then, hence making the theory of a hangover more and more likely.
"The others are inside?" Finn asked, hoping to catch most of the family in one go so he wouldn't have to keep introducing her to every person separately.
"By the pool. I just got sick of the noise," Tessa said. As she'd mentioned it Finn could hear the children's voices and the sounds of someone dive-bombing from the distance.
The place was a large semi-rural estate, the house reminding Charlie a little of home actually, with it's New England style that wasn't too uncommon in Canada either, thought definitely being much grander than she was used to. There was a significant stretch on land, neighbours nowhere in sight, and tall vegetation surrounding the house. Charlie could see tennis courts in the back, and if not mistaken, also stables but in this heat there weren't any horses in sight. The place consisted of several buildings, at the very least a separate pool house and a caretakers' building, maybe even guest house.
"Ok, now I officially feel like a peasant," Charlie laughed, as they made their way towards the house along the stone footpath, the sweet scent of the blossoming honeysuckle filling her nostrils. The place was amazing, but a little over the top, making her feel a little uncomfortable.
"Even our place growing up wasn't like this - this is all Jamie," Finn explained. His parents had always prefered to not stand out too much. Their childhood home had certainly been large and hadn't lacked anything, but at the same time it had constantly been in need of some repairs here and there, never quite being this polished and in accordance with the latest trends as it seemed to be here.
"Look who's here!" Finn's mother Diana exclaimed seeing the two walk up to the house, hugging Charlie and Finn briefly.
An introduction round followed, which was supposed to be quick, but as there were nearly 30 people around, some inside and some chatting by the barbeque further away, it wasn't really likely that Charlie would remember all of them in one go. The children kept running around, swimming and plunging, making them almost impossible to pinpoint for long enough to register their names. Most of the kids were under 10 years old. The toddlers 3-4 of them were at the shallow end of the pool watched by two women, who'd been introduced as Sean's wife Mae and Finn's cousin Violet from his mother's side. The positive thing Charlie noted, was that nobody was really dressed very formally, making her breathe a little easily, some just lounging around in their swimwear, some women in beachdresses, some prefering light summer dresses, while Jamie and Neil seemed to be the only two guys wearing shorts and casual button-ups.
"Neil, how long until the barbie is done?" Diana called out towards the outdoor kitchen area further along the side of the house.
"Half an hour," Finn's dad, Neil, replied. He was grilling lobsters, shrimp and ribs along with a few other men in the family out of whom Charlie really only recognized Jamie, knowing him from some of Finn's pictures he'd shown her.
"You should really go hide that," Diana suggested, gesturing at the tote bag Finn was carrying.
"Sure," he replied, having nearly forgotten about it. Strangely enough he was nervous too.
The two headed indoors. Unlike Sylvie's place this was more classic country than modern, the Mahogany that decorated the kitchen continuing in the form of moldings through the entire house. The tonality was soft, white and beige, darker marble accenting the kitchen and the hallway floors.
"I'll just be right back," Finn gestured at the tote again, leaving Charlie in the living room where Sylvie was sitting on the floor with Sean's little ones, 1,5-year-old twins Riley and Kylie, stacking blocks with them. Sylvie still on occasion had a soft spot for them and these family events definitely took care of it for a while for her.
"Was the boat ride here okay?" Sylvie asked friendlily. Charlie knew Sylvie the most already, having hung out at her house several times by now and had dinner with her. Hence she felt like the safest point of contact around here.
"Yeah, it was," she smiled.
"Ah...so you must be the famous Charlie Sylvie and Diane have been talking about," Amanda, Jamie's wife, said as she appeared, her two-month-old wrapped in a baby carrier on her chest. "I'm Amanda by the way, and this is Jem," she introduced herself, gesturing at the baby. Amanda was a striking redhead and while her facial features a little like narrower she reminded Charlie a little of Lauren Ambrose with her hair and they way she held herself.
"I don't know if I'm exactly famous, but yes, I'm Charlie," she replied, and offered Amanda her hand.
The baby on Amanda's chest was sleeping beautifully, his little fingers showing just from the side of the carrier. But in a way Finn had been right, being around a baby that wasn't just some anonymous baby off the street, definitely did something to her, feeling a small tinge of envy perhaps, that she didn't really feel with the older kids. But she simply took a deep breath and tried to focus her attention elsewhere.
"Well you can definitely consider yourself famous for taming Finn," Amanda chuckled.
Charlie wanted to argue, she didn't feel the choice of words was quite right, but as far as she got it - that was just Amanda, her slightly provocative and excessive banter being just the way she was around family.
"So, I heard you're a lawyer?" Amanda inquired. While Amanda wasn't Finn's sister, she sort of seemed to be the queen bee of this family, besides Diane of course, and naturally in part this was because it was her house they were in. But it was about more than that - about her being in the most prominent position thanks to Jamie managing the family business and having the most kids. She'd also been in the family since Jamie was 19, so pretty much half of Jamie's life.
"Yeah, I guess I am - though I'm considering a change. I haven't really figured everything out just yet," Charlie replied, following Amanda's lead in sitting down on one of the couses, positioned in U-shape, overlooking the pool.
"I used to be one, well before those three..," Amanda explained, pointing hers older kids out by the pool. She had four kids, that much Charlie knew, but apparently she too had tried to continue working after the first one who was already 10. "Civil litigation," she added.
"Intellectual property," Charlie replied.
It was then also Tessa walked in form the outside, having pulled on a full-length turquoise beach dress over her bikini, looking fabulous. Charlie hadn't quite noticed it before, having been too focused on other things, but she was pretty sure Tessa was carrying a small babybump, maybe 4 months or so.
"Curiosity killed the cat, you know," Sylvie noted at Tessa and smiled at Charlie, indicating that they were all in there to get to know her.
"What - I just wanted to get a glass of water," Tessa grumbled, not wanting to admit it, and made her way to the kitchen to get her water. Tessa was roughly Charlie's age, while Sylvie and Amanda were well in their mid- to late-30s.
"Well - either way I'm here to be probed and questioned," Charlie decided to make a joke of it.
Charlie could hear Finn beginning to return from the back where apparently the gift storage was, but someone asked for his help with something, hence keeping him away a little longer.
"So how did you manage it? I mean… he's not exactly easy to, you know… get to take things seriously," Tessa asked out right.
"Tessa!" Sylvie scolded her.
"It's fine, but don't think I did anything. I think he just needed to reach that place in his head on his own. I'm glad he did," she replied with a weak smile.
"They're absolutely adorable together, it makes me sick sometimes," Sylvie pointed out, making Charlie blush a little. Having them hang out at her poolhouse half the time she'd seen a lot, perhaps too much.
"So how long have you known him? Do you know each other from earlier or…?" Amanda inquired curiously.
"We met in November… so no, not long… He saved my life actually," Charlie said.
"He what? Why didn't I know about this?" Sylvie asked, already beginning to look for Finn with her eyes to give him a scolding for not telling her about this.
"It seems we have our very own 'prince for the resque' in our midst, who knew?" Tessa pointed out, jokingly. "But seriously, we're going to want to hear that story," she added on a more serious tone.
Charlie told them the story, naturally her side of it - as she'd taken a detour to avoid the bushfires and ended up with a broken car on the side of the road. She tried not to get emotional telling it. After finding out the car had indeed burnt, it had been a harsh realization that she would have burnt with it. But she tried to focus on the little things - how Finn had offered her to take a photo of him and his ID before getting into his car, how the rest of the ride had brought its share of excitement and the koala, of course.
"Then I just invited him for dinner to say thanks… and from there... I don't know, I guess we just clicked," she shared.
"Charlie - do you need rescuing again?" Finn said with a smirk, as he walked over to the living room, having overheard some of that. He knew he'd probably have to explain himsefl to Sylvie later for not telling her about driving through a bushfire like that.
Charlie smiled at him, appreciating the question, but she really was fine.
"Oh, no - we have like 10 minutes until lunch, don't you go stealing her from us just yet," Amanda scolded Finn.
Finn landed on the couch nonetheless, next to Charlie, feeling some protectiveness, and placed his hand across her shoulders.
"So and now you're taking her to Sydney?" Tessa inquired, having heard Sylvie mention something earlier.
"My sabbatical is almost over, so yeah, I'm supposed to be back at work in a few weeks," Charlie explained herself.
Finn could see the three women give each other meaningful looks, pondering how on Earth was Finn planning on going to make that work once she went back.
"We're still figuring out the details, easy on the pressure, ladies," Finn felt he needed to say. "I'm going back after New Years myself," he added, making it obvious that the distance really wasn't that huge. He was making this whole thing sound lighter than what he was feeling.
While he'd always known that - he felt kind of daunted by going back himself - sure he was missing the work a little already, the Manhattan scene and his friends, even his apartment - but what he'd escaped from he truly didn't want to face. It wasn't that there was anything there, but having isolated himself so well from that part, he was a little scared out how G had taken things. He assumed that surely Rory would've told him if anything was up, but who knew. He wanted to go visit Logan's kids again - but he wasn't really sure how that was going to work these days.
"So, Charlie, where in Canada are you from?" Amanda continued, clearly knowing more from Sylvie and Diane already than Finn had figured, making him wonder what else they'd been saying about him and Charlie.
Soon lunch was served and they began to make their way over to the shaded patio. Tessa had gone ahead to give her mom a hand, not that any of them really needed to be that involved, having a couple of live-in housekeepers in the house, but to Charlie it was obvious that this didn't mean any of them were helpless or wanted to be served hand and foot, it was rather just about having some help around.
"Oh, shoot, I think this little one just made a mess," Amanda pointed out, adding, "I better go change him," she added. The baby was stirring a bit, but showed no signs of crying at this point yet.
"Oh yeah, I think the carrier got a bit too," Charlie added, squinting her nose a little at the smell.
Amanda looked over the carrier and peeked inside, realizing she'd gotten a big stain on her blouse as well.
"I better go change myself first then," Amanda said.
"Do you need help?" Charlie offered, seeing that Sylvie and Finn had already headed off, clearly enjoying the event. She didn't know if this was a good idea really, but it felt strange not to at least offer.
"I'll just be a few seconds, but if you wouldn't mind watching so he wouldn't fall off the changing table while I change real quick, that'd be a huge help," Amanda replied and swiftly made her way towards the back of the house where the master bedroom, kid's bedrooms and the nursery were located, only then making Charlie really see how huge the place was. The bedrooms were separated from the living area with a separate door, meaning not a peep from what was going on in the back could be heard in there. The vaulted ceilings and pleasantly cool temperatures on this side of the house were envy worthy and the nursery was really nothing like she'd ever seen before. The room was painted in a dark shade of mint, but on the walls there were painted full of delicate lemon wines, the crib itself looking like it was handmade, showing some wear of time. But it seemed the kind of thing that would last through generations. All the textiles were matching, creating a serene setting.
"Here we go," Amanda grabbed a single-use sheet protector for the changing pad and then carefully placed the baby down on the changing table on top of it. The baby didn't make a peep, but continued to sleep, not minding one bit at this point that he'd soiled himself. "Just keep a hand on his stomach, like his. I'll be just a sec," she added and showed her and allowed Charlie to take over, and hurried to the bedroom across the hall to change.
As Charlie waited, her hand hesitantly placed on top of the baby's stomach, she could feel him breathing and his little heart beating. It was beautiful, but painful. And she knew that perhaps she shouldn't have offered. In part this was just about returning to her old life - that past that had this topic so prominently in it. She tried to continue breathing and just think of something else, feeling relief when she heard her return.
"Thanks," Amanda replied, as she rushed back, having changed her top.
"It's not a problem," Charlie replied, trying to smile.
"You can go ahead, I'll be there in a minute," Amanda suggested.
Charlie headed off, making her way down the hallway towards the living area. She was just out the door separating bedrooms from the rest, when she almost stumbled into Finn who'd come look for her.
"There you are," Finn exclaimed. "We're almost ready to dig in," he added, then finally looking over her. "You okay?" he asked, holding her by her shoulders gently.
"I'll be fine," she inhaled deeply.
"Do you need a moment?" Finn tried to read her.
"Umm.. maybe," Charlie replied, shakily.
"Let's go in here," he opened the door that led to the wine cellar. It was dimly lit and very cool, definitely a good place in this kind of weather. They went down a few steps and Charlie leaned against the bannister. Finn looked at her, trying to read her.
"Amanda just needed a hand with the baby and I offered to help out," Charlie explained.
Finn didn't quite understand how this had happened - after all he'd told Sylvie to not let anything like this happen. she'd asked her to warn the others, not to rub these things in. She didn't need painful reminders. He wanted her to enjoy this and their trip to come.
Finn wrapped his arms around her and held her close for a minute.
"We should go back there, I wouldn't want to keep them," Charlie said then, having gathered herself a little. "I'm fine," she replied, assuring Finn who was still doubting it.
"Alright," he led her back upstairs, his hand at the small of her back.
"Still slipping off, I see," Amanda said cheekily, having caught them as they emerged, but then urged the two to head towards the dining area.
One table really wasn't enough for a crowd this big, hence there was a separate kids table for those already able to eat by themselves and a few nannies helping them, in their early twenties, as Amanda explained on the go.
"Come-come," Diane invited, having saved Finn and Charlie a seat next to her. Charlie sat next to Diane and Finn between Charlie and Sylvie.
Neil made a small speech and people soon began to fill their plates. It was pleasantly casual and the lout chatter accompanying the lunch definitely showed how much the people at this table actually liked each other.
The table held a variety of foods from barbecued meats and seafood, vegetables and four different salads, one of which Charlie already noted had some walnuts in it, which she knew she needed to avoid.
"Do you know if anything else has walnuts in it?" Charlie asked Diane.
"Oh fuck, I forgot to tell them," Finn muttered, scolding himself.
Diane cast a scolding look towards him for the choice of language but didn't really bother saying anything - after all most of the kids were at the other table.
"Amanda - there wasn't anything else that had walnuts in it, right? Just the salad, right?" Diane asked, as everybody already had begun to dig in.
"Just regular peanuts in that one," Amanda pointed out.
"Macadamian?" Finn asked on Charlie's behalf from Amanda.
"No," she replied, looking at Finn and clearly making a point that he should've told them in advance. Finn had be so busy for the past few days making travel plans, stocking up the boat with everything they might need and a few other things he had in mind, that something as vital as this had simply skipped his mind.
"It'd be good if you wouldn't eat them either, or we can't kiss for a while," Charlie whispered with a hint of flrt, to his ear. It was good she did, because he probably wouldn't have thought it.
Finn stroked her thigh under the table, assuring he wouldn't, and at the same time being a little apologetic for everything that hadn't gone as he'd planned in the past hour already.
They continued to eat the delicious foods and drink the wonderful chilled white wine that was served.
At some point, after everyone had finished the main meal, the dessert being left for later, Sylvie and Finn excused themselves from the table, knowing it was soon time for presents.
Charlie had assured that she was fine where she was, chatting pleasantly with Diane, Jamie and Sean, the latter two whom she hadn't really spoken to earlier.
"Good, you wore your Santa shorts," Sylvie glanced Finn over, who was wearing a pair of dark red blended linen shorts. He had in fact put a little thought into what he'd worn, though frankly he'd just brought everything he had with him on to the catamaran anyways, as he was flying to New York just a few days after Charlie was.
Sylvie tossed Finn a short-sleeved Santa coat which he pulled onto his bare skin after taking off his polo-shirt, and put a light cotton Santa hat onto his head. They hadn't bothered with the beard in years, most of the kids knowing how 'Finn really was just the real Santa's helper' anyways. But it was very fitting, as he was usually heping out Santa up North most of the year, which was almost accurate.
"You didn't tell Amanda, did you?" Finn asked, as Sylvie was placing all the presents into one big bag. He was a little upset at her. He'd hope she'd make sure Charlie wouldn't be put in any such situations or asked questions like 'do you like babies?' or 'how many kids would you like to have?' when he wasn't around.
Sylvie stopped what she was doing and looked at him.
"No, I didn't. It's pretty personal, I'm not sure you should've told me even - not this early," Sylvie replied, levelheadedly. "She wouldn't have wanted people to know. Trust me. And it's not like it's never going to come up anyways. You can't protect her from this forever, it's life," she explained.
Finn wanted to argue that Sylvie didn't know her like he did, which was probably true. But he really didn't know - maybe she was right - maybe it would've been like betraying her by telling everyone like this.
"I know that you love her, I can see it. And I know you are trying to do everything right - and that makes me so proud of you. But you can't fix everything," Sylvie said, hugging her brother in the Santa outfit. "But you should've told me you about that night - you could've gotten yourself killed," she added then, punching his shoulder.
AN: if you want a visual for Jamie's and Amanda's place: 14 Zelita road, Moggill, GLD 4070