Sept 7 2021
Hi everyone!
I hope this message finds you all doing well. I'm sorry to say that I have definitely had better days. Some things have happened in RL that has both shocked me and basically made me question my faith in well, everything. I know you all don't know me, but hopefully through my writings you've come to learn that I love my family deeply, I think animals are often better than people, and I always do my best to see the brighter side of a situation, to see the good in the bad because I believe that all our experiences, even the most difficult ones, have something valuable to teach us. I am in such a moment right now.
I am posting this very short chapter, "Bohemian Rhapsody," as it is both fitting and the last full scene I have written, and to be honest, I'm not sure if I'm going to keep up with any of my stories after this. My stories are an escape for me and I work extremely hard on them, I put so much of my time and heart into my writing, but when your heart is torn as mine is now, when you're losing faith in the goodness of humanity, it makes it near impossible for me to keep writing. I don't even want to say what it is that's happened, it's so ridiculous and infuriating, but I must now deal with this unexpected turn of events in my life. So I guess this is kind of a goodbye chapter.
If you've enjoyed my writings at all, I am happy. That's all we writers can hope for. Your support over the years has meant everything to me and I appreciate each and everyone of you. To those who have been active participants in my story, ~*~Thank You~*~ Your kind words have meant so much to me. During times of really dark periods, I reread your words and they lift me up. I hope my stories have done the same for you.
Be well everyone and be kind to each other, never forget that, for this above all else is true, hate destroys but love heals.
With much love and gratitude to every single person who reads this.
Yours most sincerely,
Antonella a.k.a Lady p.
"When you're going through hell, keep going . . ." ~ Winston Churchill
-ooOooOooOoo-W&S II W&S-ooOooOooOoo-
A large, plush, and richly furnished living area with the lights dimmed low, hums with the soft pulse of Rege music. A 152" Plasma TV set on mute plays a report of the weather, the screens soft glow casts over the swaying form of a tall, dark individual in fade-away jeans and an untucked, wrinkled white dress shirt who clutches a nearly empty bottle of alcohol at his side. The figure stumbles, catching himself with a press of palm against the wall to steady himself as he lifts the bottle towards his face. He tries to focus on the label, but his eyes haze and blur slightly, nearly tripling in his vision. Maybe this last bottle of Ginta's special yoki brew had been a bad idea, Kouga considers, the kami know he's had a lot of those lately.
But fuck! He'd needed it. Needed to dull the pain, the torment. Needed a way out to escape the darkness that had threatened to chew him down and spit him out after seeing her with him. Who he used to be. Who he'd give anything to be again. Kouga lets out a despondent sigh as he turns his back against the wall, needing the support as he looks down at the cell phone in his hand. His thumb hovers over a speed dial he knows he shouldn't press. Can't press. Isn't allowed to press.
His eyes squeeze shut and without thinking, his thumb drops down over another speed dial and he presses the call button. When he hears the ring on the other end of the line, Kouga lets out a sigh of relief. A part of him is grateful that he's been able to fight the temptation to reach out to her (again), the other half hating how much of a coward he's become. He shakes his head, knowing it doesn't matter anyways, it's not like she would have answered. Nope, for Kouga the first son of Edo and Alpha of the demon tribes, it's voice mail only service from his would-be former mate. Everyone in the world can talk to his woman except him. Kagome will take anyone's calls but his.
A sudden flash of anger burns through him as Kouga steps away from the wall, smashing the bottle against it in a shower of broken shards. The splintered glass cuts open his palm, pooling with red, but he doesn't care. He watches with morbid fascination as the gash quickly heals, only a smear of blood remaining. Cradling the still ringing cell phone to his ear, Kouga wipes the blood away with his other hand, the stain disappearing, leaving his palm as whole as it had been before. He lets out a shaky breath, if only his heart could heal in the same way.
-ooOooOooOoo-
A large table full of young men and women talk animatedly with each other, eating, drinking, and playing cards while boisterous laughter fills the house and soft rock music plays in the background. A loud, animated howl momentarily interrupts the conversation, causing a red-haired young man at the table to grin as he reaches quickly for his cell phone.
"Sorry, guys, I gotta take this," he says, folding the winning hand he'd been about to cash in on to many jeers and jibes as he excuses himself from the table to answer the call. The special ring tone he'd assigned this particular number setting his adrenaline rushing no matter how many centuries old he is. A beautiful blonde woman seated on a couch and talking with a small group of people looks up and catches his eye over the distance. He wiggles the cell phone in his hand at her and it seems to be enough as she nods back, returning to her conversation with the people around her.
"Uh, hey, Pops. What's up?" he greets cheerily into the line, pretending like he has no idea why he's calling, but he already knows the answer. His sister has most likely ratted him out. It's the long lull of silence and heavy breathing on the other end that sends panic flaring through the young man.
"Dad?" He looks at his phone as if somehow it might give him some answers other than the name 'Alpha Dog' flashing on his screen. "Dad, are you there?!" he shouts into the line. Fuck, he should have realized this was going to happen, how many times had InuYasha tried to warn them all? He hears the low huff of breath at the other end of the line, easing some of his worry, but then his father speaks, a low soft growl, and Shippou realizes he's right to worry.
"Yeah, I'm here," the smooth, deep tone replies. There's nothing aggressive in the sound, perhaps a hint of a rumble that no human ears can detect. Not human, but a kitsune's can. A sound that makes said kitsune take a deep swallow.
"H-How . . . How's it going?" Shippou's grateful his dad can't see the way he squeezes his eyes shut, flinching at his own slip. After 500 years, Kouga can still scare the shit out of him.
There's a pause on the line before the low voice responds. "I didn't see you at the last family dinner," a term used to describe what is essentially a pack meeting. An opportunity for everyone in their rather large family to get together once a month - usually on the full moon - to eat, drink, and catch up on any relevant news. Attendance is an unspoken mandatory because nothing comes before the pack, before family.
"Oh, uh, yeah, sorry, Dad. I meant to call," Shippou sighs a breath of relief, worried Kouga had been calling about . . . something else. "Lanie and I were coming back from a long run when I started getting a shit ton of vibrations on my bike."
"Are you okay? How's your mate?" Kouga rumbles protectively, concern for his family outweighing any other considerations, even through his drunken haze and limping heart.
Shippou grins into the line, "Yeah, Pops, no problem." The wolf is always a bit of a worrier when it comes to him, he can never understand why. "I had to pull it into this dinky garage we found in a little town off the southern highway a couple hours past Sanchen. I ended up taking the whole damn thing nearly apart before I figured out I had a worn out chain sprocket," he manages to chuckle. Man had that pissed him off royally. He really should have figured it out sooner given the wobbling effect he was getting.
"Please tell me you changed the whole set and not just the chain?" Kouga gruffs. Motorcycles might not be as dangerous for demons as they are for humans, but the idea of his kid getting hurt really sets off his instincts.
"Come on, Dad," even over the phone, it's easy to sense the pride in the kitsune's voice, "who taught me everything I know about motorcycles?" In fact, some of his best memories are from back in the 40's and early 50's when they had really gotten into the newly budding motorcycle scene. Him and his six brothers and four sisters had definitely got to experience a different side of their always so serious and often scary Alpha father. A happier, more care free version if such a thing can be imagined, and had inspired the formation of their family only motorcycle club, First Pack. The closest thing to a pack run the wolf demon tribes can still manage in the modern era.
"Guess there's nothing to worry about then," Kouga chuckles softly. Shippou has always been a fast learner. There's a lull in the laughter, a momentary pause when both are silent, their silence saying so much though no words are spoken.
Kouga sighs into the line. "Shippou." It's all he has to say.
"Hey, it wasn't my fault, okay?!" he blurts out. "I had no idea mom was going to be there, much less you! Well, err, you know . . ." Shippou grins, "your other you and mom's other her." He can't hold it in, the kitsune laughs through his nerves.
"And what exactly is so funny?" Kouga asks, his tone making a lesser man quake in his place.
"Dad, only to us would something that insane sounding, make any sense," Shippou grins into the line, pleased at the loud rumble of laughter he pulls from the wolf at the other end. It's a sound that warms his heart, a sound he hasn't heard in a really long time.
"You got that right, kid," Kouga's softer tone hums with laughter.
"So . . . how'd you find out?" Shippou asks, needing to know if his instincts are right.
"I think you know," Kouga answers.
"Akari," he sighs into the phone, "figures." It's not a question but a fact. Akari never could keep anything from their Alpha father, not even as kids. Out of all his siblings, she is the least likely to break a rule – ever.
"But, I guess if you didn't want me to know, you wouldn't have told your sister in the first place," Kouga counters with a mildly amused tone.
The kitsune grunts in acknowledgement of the words, "Maybe." A silence falls as each reflects but Shippou can still hear the tension and unease radiating off the line.
"Tell me what you saw," Kouga's quiet voice carries no command, only desperation. A sound that to the kitsune's ears is infinitely more painful. Shippou lets out a sigh as he walks farther away from the talking group, finding a quieter spot in the large home. He runs a hand through his thick hair, gripping the back of his skull, knowing his dad needs this. "You and her, you ah, you guys were shopping," he starts slowly, hearing the wolf's soft breathing on the other end.
"You saw her? You saw . . . Kagome?"
"Oh, yeah," Shippou grins, remembering how shocked he'd been to see the younger version of his mother in a shopping mall, dragging the younger version of his father behind her and into a photo booth. "You guys were taking some pictures in a -"
"Photo booth," Kouga answers with a hard breath, cutting his son off. It's a day he will never forget, can never forget.
"Yup," Shippou's grin widens before a flash of doubt dulls the corners. "Ah, look, don't get mad, okay?" The words make Kouga grunt but he remains silent, encouraging the kitsune to speak. "I don't know if you'll remember now, but when you and her came out of the booth, I was there with Lanie," he admits with a hesitant chuckle. "I know. I know it was risky," Shippou adds in a rush before his father can say anything, "but I figured, what harm could it do? It was only for two seconds." They had all long been taught to keep as far away from the younger versions of Kouga and Kagome since this century had begun.
"You asked us if we were done in there," Kouga answers fondly, remembering the moment vividly.
"Yeah, she shushed you for growling," Shippou grins to himself, something Kagome would do for centuries, "but the look on your face when you came out was priceless!" he adds, making his dad bark with laughter that both surprises and pleases him.
"Man, I didn't know what the hell was going on. I thought it was some kind of kissing booth that people were lining up to use." Kouga's eyes glisten with the memories from that day, soothing some of the pain that has claimed his whole world of late.
Shippou's eyes widen at his father's remark as an understanding clicks into place. "Is that . . . is that why you bought the rights to that photo company all those years ago?"
"Who do you think had those photo booths installed in that mall?" Kouga smirks over the line, making Shippou burst with laughter.
"Wow. Time really is trippy," he concedes.
"It is, Son," Kouga's tone turns serious, "that's why you have to be careful. I know . . . I know it's hard," gods, does he ever, "but we need to keep from interacting with mine and your mom's younger selves. We don't know what repercussions it could have." Shit! He's starting to sound like the damn dog! Someone kill him. Right fucking now.
Shippou lets out a resigned breath, knowing he's right, but to have the chance to see the young human woman who had taken him in as an orphaned child and loved and raised him as her very own. To see her with the eyes of the man he'd become because of her, it had been too hard to resist. "I know, Dad. I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise."
Kouga makes a soft grunting sound at the back of his throat, a rumble that clearly says the matter is settled and forgotten. "Tell me . . ." Fucking hell! He shouldn't be asking but he's had a lot of booze. "Was . . . did she look . . . happy?" comes the quiet question.
Shippou can feel his heart twist into several pieces at the uncertain tone. "Yeah, she was," he answers softly. The hard, deep breath over the line starts to unsettle him when no words follow. "Dad?"
"She was." It's all Kouga says in that low, dark tone. The word was reverberating in his mind on a loop. A dark laugh comes over the line, unsettling the kitsune more.
"Dad? Have you . . ." he knows he doesn't really need to ask, but his father had promised to do better, "have you been drinking?"
"Go back to your friends, kid," Kouga answers gruffly instead.
"Dad, come on. You know if-"
"Shippou," Kouga growls into the line, a ruffle of command skimming his tone and cutting his eldest off. He takes in a deep drag of air that echoes over the line. "You're a good son," he rumbles, his tone softening around the edges, "now go back to your mate."
Shippou swallows hard. It's Kouga's subtle way of telling him that he loves him, but to fuck off. A tactic he's been using more frequently with everyone around him since Kagome had left him. Not that he can blame his dad. Only now that he's a mated fox can Shippou begin to understand a tiny fraction of the pain his adopted father has been enduring this last decade. "Sure, Dad."
"Tell my daughter-in-law hello," Kouga adds, about to click off the line, "and make sure you're both at the next family dinner."
"I will. Dad . . ." Shippou calls, waiting for him to answer.
A soft, deep breath echoes over the line. "Yeah?"
"I . . ." Shippou swallows, memories and feelings for the surrogate father that had loved him, protected him, and put up with all his growing pains over the centuries rises to the surface, hating how much he's suffering now with no way to really help him. "I love you, Dad."
The emotion in Kouga's chest thickens his voice as he speaks, "I love you too, Son," and the line disconnects. He stares at the phone in his hand, the emotions eclipsing him making it hard to think straight. Shippou's a good kid, but no one can understand what he's going through, not even his well-intentioned brother. The phone buzzes in his hand, surprising him with an incoming text message from his son.
Shippou: I wasn't sure if I should send this to you but since you asked about it . . .
His brow furrowed and curiosity peaked, Kouga clicks on the attachment that pops up next, opening some kind of photo. Adjusting the cell phone in his hands, it takes a moment for him to understand what he's seeing; the bright colors of stores, clothing, and indoor plants is immediately apparent, giving the impression of some kind of shopping mall. The photo is at a skewed angle and looks like it had been taken from behind a tall, potted plant. Apparently, the person taking the picture was trying not to be seen.
He zooms in on the center of the photo where a young couple stands, both with long, dark hair. A tall male in a patterned bandana and ponytail, holds many shopping bags in one hand while looking on with amusement at a shorter woman tugging on his outstretched arm. Attempting, it seems, to drag the youth towards a small curtained booth farther in the distance. The expressions of the couple leaves little doubt of the love and affection blazing between them, nearly burning through the digital photo.
Kouga's eyes squeeze shut, the ache in his chest hitting him as sure as a DeLoreon flying at 88 miles an hour because he's just been blown back into his own past.
"Well, I'll be fucking damned," he grunts to himself, but then, he already knows that.
.
A/N: Kudo's to everyone that guessed it was Shippou way back in part one during that photo booth scene! XD