League of Gamers
Salutations, greetings, and many great hellos!
No matter which game I play or movie I watch, I'm almost always a big fan of the antagonist. There's really nothing like a cool villain. As such, I've wanted to write something about the League of Villains ever since I started watching MHA. And what did I come up with for my very first love letter to this fantastic bunch of evildoers? Another shitpost. Sounds about right.
Thanks again to Ya Boy Guzma, who has been an absolute joy to talk with over these past few months, for inspiring this oneshot. He deserves a lot of credit (or blame) for giving me this idea, so why not check out his page and read some of his fantastic works?
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the My Hero Academia universe or any of its characters.
Dim streetlights flickering in the middle of the otherwise dark country betrayed the only sign of civilization for miles around. A simple intersection, two dusty roads crossing one another, offered a rest stop for what little traffic might be passing through. The streetlights revealed only a convenience store and gas station, essentials for travelers on these backwater roads. In the shadows beyond, however, the hulking silhouettes of houses and barns could be faintly seen, the only signs that these barren lands were occupied.
With so little people in this part of the county, it was an oasis of calm. No-one ever stayed for long. Days and nights came and went in peaceful silence. But on this particular night, there was movement where it shouldn't have been: long shadows passing over the dimly lit road, a signal that danger was closing in.
Barely discernable in the nighttime mire of black, silhouettes as dark as pitch stole through the trees that surrounded the homestead nearest the intersection. There were six, taking advantage of the cover as they progressed single file up the gravel driveway to the house waiting in the center of the grove. In the daytime, these trees kept the house nestled in their shade. Tonight, they served to hide the presence of its enemies.
Shuichi Iguchi – better known as Spinner – led the way up to the doorstep of the League of Villains' newest hideout. Shelter was necessary when you were on the run, which Spinner and his fellows had been in the months since the Kamino Incident. Said fellows gathered around him at the door, leering with expressions ranging from tired to straight-up irritable. He got it, he really did – he hadn't enjoyed the past months of scraping out a living in old warehouses, either. So, when he'd left their latest camp to go scouting and found a suitable, up to building code, honest-to-goodness house this far out in the middle of nowhere, he'd almost wept. Maybe he'd gotten a little carried away when he had described the place to the rest of the League and dragged them kilometers to reach it.
Even so, did the most notorious bunch of murderers, anarchists, and all-around psychopaths in all of Japan have to be so hostile?
"Forgive my asking," the masked Mr. Compress spoke up, "but just to be sure, you're positive that this place is empty?"
"Yes," Spinner huffed. Was his word really that unreliable? "It's just as I said after I got back from scouting – the owners have left, there's running water and electricity, it's the perfect place to relax for a few days."
"It better be. I've walked so much today, my blisters have blisters," Twice grumbled, before, with a straightening of his posture, his other personality took over. "'Scuse me! I'm super-hyped to be here!"
"I dunno," Himiko Toga hummed, looking unconvinced as she twirled a finger around one of her messy buns. "It still kinda seems too good to be true that you found us a normal house with everything we could need after months of hiding in yucky broken-down places."
"Would I have led you on a full day's walk here if I wasn't sure?" Spinner snapped. He was used to being criticized (usually on his driving), but this level of skepticism was unwarranted.
"Quiet." The thin rasp of Tomura Shigaraki cut through the bickering as the ultimate authority amongst the League of Villains shouldered his way to the front. "I shouldn't have to remind you that we can't take the risk of being seen. We're already risking ourselves as it is, coming to this neighborhood."
"Neighborhood?" Compress repeated, his jovial voice carrying an additional tinge of laughter. "I believe there have to be neighbors present before we can bestow such a title."
"Shut up and get us inside," Shigaraki hissed.
Spinner watched as the magician produced a lock pick and began fiddling with the door. The nighttime air was cold, and he rubbed his hands along his scaly arms to generate a little warmth. His joints felt stiff, too, and he found his thoughts drifting to indoor heating and soft beds. No wonder the entire League was on edge. They needed time to recharge. Only then would they be ready to tackle the herculean task of bringing down the false Heroes, a thought which brought Spinner a sense of grim satisfaction.
A loud click signaled the end of Compress' handiwork, who stepped away from the door with a bow and a flourish of his hand. "And voila," he proclaimed. "Please hold your applause, my friends. Any entertainer worth his hat is able to escape from, and break into, whatever space he pleases."
The League of Villains entered single file, last of all being Spinner, who received a friendly tip of the hat from Compress on his way in. For a few minutes no-one spoke – instead, they went into stealth mode and spread out within, hunting for any sign of life in the supposedly abandoned abode. Spinner did his part and checked out a few of the rooms, confirming his own prior assessment that the house was empty. The place was small, only a single floor with little more than the necessities, and so it didn't take long for the League to finish their survey and convene in the living room.
Shigaraki nodded to himself, peering from between the fingers of his hand-mask as he took in the contours of the room. "You've done well today, Spinner," he remarked. "About time you found a respawn point that's up to standard."
The backhanded compliment stung, but Spinner took it in stride, knowing how abrasive Shigaraki usually was. "This will be a good opportunity to eat and rest, and check our equipment over," he said instead.
Toga giggled and all but threw herself into one of the armchairs. "Finally, someplace cozy to sleep. It's been forever since I had a hot bath and something yummy to eat!"
In stark contrast to the schoolgirl's bubbly optimism came Dabi's first words that night, spoken in a low voice made darker by undertones of sarcasm and disdain. "At least until the owners return, which could be in a few hours for all we know. Come on, lizard, you didn't bother finding out for how long they'd be gone while you were here?"
Spinner bristled indignantly at the slur, but when four other pairs of considering eyes landed on him, he had to admit that Dabi did have a point. "Fine," he growled as he marched out, "I'll go and check."
After entering the foyer, being bewildered by the homeowners' cordless telephone (people still used landlines nowadays?), and fiddling with the answering machine, Spinner got the information his comrades so desired. Sliding back into the room, he waved the phone and reported, "Answering machine says the owners are out visiting family as of yesterday. They'll be back by the end of the week."
Apparently satisfied with that, Shigaraki flopped onto the sofa with a grunt and folded his legs over the coffee table. "Good. We'll use this as our new hub until then."
"That's certainly a relief. We've long needed someplace comfortable to rest our wicked selves," Compress commented, vanishing behind the kitchen door.
There was a short silence as the rest of the League situated themselves, Twice choosing an armchair opposite Toga while Dabi merely leaned against the far wall with his hands in his pockets. Spinner himself chose to perch on the arm of Shigaraki's sofa, taking out one of his duller blades with the intention of sharpening it. He'd barely given it a scrape before somebody spoke up.
"I hope Big Top is checking to see if there's anything to eat," Dabi grumbled.
"Now, now, no need for that insolent tone, my good man," the magician clucked, coming back through the doorway. "I do have some bad news, however – it appears that, due to their preordained rendezvous, the residents did not bother to go grocery shopping. Nothing but cooking essentials in the pantry, I'm afraid."
Putting his knife down, Spinner thought back to the view of the street when they'd arrived. "Wasn't there a convenience store just across the road from here?"
Twice leapt to his feet. "Then what're we waiting for? Let's go out and swipe some snacks!" he said. "No way, man, I'm good!"
Shigaraki looked up, red eyes glaring. "Sit down, Twice. No-one's leaving."
"What?!" Twice and Toga both cried in alarm. Under them, a snort from Dabi could be heard. Compress merely gave a "well what can you do?" shrug and made himself at home next to Shigaraki.
"But we're hungry!" Toga whined.
"And thirsty! Nah, I can wait!" Twice agreed and disagreed.
Spinner couldn't help feeling a pang of disappointment (and hunger) at their leader's announcement, but he found himself agreeing. "He's right. Our names and faces are all over the media. As soon as we're seen, the false Heroes will be on us in an instant."
"And we don't have young Shigaraki's dastardly director to bail us out this time," Compress noted, as unflappable as ever.
"But Tomuraaaaa." Toga's voice rose to that of a petulant child's. "I wanna eeeeeat. Who cares if someone sees? I haven't stabbed anyone in ages." Her knife was suddenly in her hand, and her pleading expression morphed into a wolfish smirk.
Shigaraki's eyes flashed dangerously. "I said no. No taking sidequests, no level-grinding. Go find some loot in the basement if you're so desperate. But no-one leaves the house."
He bowed his head and appeared to fall asleep, leaving an uncomfortable quiet behind.
"Figures," Dabi groused, and slouched off to who knew where. He wasn't the only one in a sour mood – Toga burrowed back into her chair, pouting, while Compress clicked his tongue and disappeared back into the kitchen. Twice pumped his arms whilst making rude gestures in Shigaraki's direction, but quickly tired of that and made to follow Compress.
Spinner felt more than heard a gurgle from his stomach, and breathed a resigned sigh to himself, pocketing his blade. The mention of food had awakened his appetite, but it seemed that there would be no appeasing it tonight. Perhaps tomorrow, if Compress went out without his mask… or surely, Toga could spare a blood sample and go out in disguise…?
He shook his head and meandered from the room. Maybe he really would search the basement for a bite to eat. Canned goods were better than nothing, right?
Upon finding the correct door and descending a creaky staircase, the basement was dim – the only light coming from a single small window and a dim ceiling bulb. Still, it was enough, and Spinner scanned the room for any sign of stored edibles. The floor was covered in a surprisingly plush carpet and a few sparse shelves lined the walls; leaned against the far wall was a short set of cupboards that supported a flatscreen television. A leather sofa and armchairs sat in the middle of the room, facing the TV, gleaming under the poor ceiling light.
Not seeing any sign of so much as a can of beans, Spinner huffed and was about to spin on his heel…
…when he caught sight of salvation.
A perfect rectangular prism of pure ivory standing out against the dark TV screen, so pure and so brilliant that Spinner couldn't believe he hadn't spotted it sooner. From the window, a gap in the clouds allowed a silver beam of moonlight to alight upon the blessed device – the cosmos themselves imploring Spinner to gaze upon this holiest of creations. It was the answer to his long abstinence from his video game passion, coming to him from out of the blue in the form of a long-lost relic from the past.
"Not possible," he murmured, approaching with tentative steps. He placed his hands reverently atop the console – an old model from the pre-Quirk days, one an enthusiast like him would normally only dream of seeing. He couldn't believe his luck. This belonged in a museum, not the random house for which he'd already defied the odds to find.
Daring to indulge the flicker of hope that sparked in his chest, Spinner groped for the TV remote and activated the screen with a split-second flash of static. Heart hammering, he lifted a finger and touched the console's power button, the mechanism catching with a click that set his heart a-pounding. And then, impossibly, words faded into view on the TV screen.
Press the (A) button to continue.
"SHIGARAKI!" he bellowed. "You've gotta come down and see this!"
Soon, he heard the door creak open and the slow thumping of tired feet climbing down the stairs. In the dim light, Shigaraki's silhouette, with his lanky limbs clutched all over by disembodied hands, struck a frightening and alien figure. He slouched forward while fixing Spinner with a judgemental glare.
"The hell do you want?" he grumbled. "Whatever you found better be important, or el–"
He cut himself off, finally noticing the flashing screen and the conspicuous console standing before it. He went rigid, rooted to the ground with shock, fingers twitching. His eyes widened as though witnessing an angel descending from heaven, enough so that, for a moment, Spinner could see a fierce longing burning from within.
"Is that…?" Shigaraki rasped, pausing to clear his dry throat. "Is that a Nintendo Wii?"
Knowing he'd blown his boss away, Spinner couldn't help but let a smug note enter his voice. "I don't know how they did it, but it's the real deal. Hundreds of years old and still works fine. I didn't even think consoles this old still existed."
Shigaraki said nothing, only continued to stare, something that brought a wide grin unbidden to Spinner's face. For everything that set them apart, he knew that he and Shigaraki were kindred spirits, deep down. Gamers at heart. When the hand-covered man suddenly dropped to his knees and crawled toward the boxes stored in the cupboard underneath, Spinner felt his haste as though it were his own.
One box from the bottom shelf was pulled out and opened with scrabbling fingers, the tape falling away and sprinkling on the carpet in the form of ash. Shigaraki flung it wide open and crouched over the exposed contents like they held the answer to life's greatest mysteries. His eagerness came to a swift halt, however; he stopped, then sat up and withdrew a single disc case to examine.
"Fishing Resort?" Shigaraki finally said, and Spinner imagined vividly his face twisting in disgust. "Mario Kart? Family Game Night? These are all… party games."
When he peeked into the box, Spinner discovered with dismay that his boss wasn't joking. Every cover art he saw was of a party game, sports title, or some other saccharine nonsense, each one more of an assault to his eyes than the last.
"You've got that right. No shooters or RPGs," he agreed, picking out a disc at random and scoffing at the title. "Look, they don't even have Wii Sports Resort – just the free version that came with the console."
"Where the hell is Zelda?" Shigaraki snarled. His anger was palpable, fingers curling into claws as if barely holding himself back from one of his scratching fits. "Metroid? Galaxy? Brawl? Hell, any of the good Nintendo content?! I've never heard of anyone with such shitty taste!"
Shifting through the box some more, Spinner examined a few of the other discs only to cast them aside in disappointment. Just their luck: the first chance in a long time they had to pick up a controller, their only choices were kid-friendly minigames. He hadn't been expecting to relive any of his old favorites – Grand Theft Auto came to mind – but this went far below even his worst expectations.
"My, my. So this is what inspired such a rousing call for our lead actor."
Flinching at the unexpected voice, Spinner whirled around faster than when his parents had first caught him playing a bootlegged M-rated title. The rest of the League had entered without their knowledge, headed by Mr. Compress, whose masked face exuded an aura of amusement to match his tone. Twice's two sides alternated between subdued intrigue and more intense fascination. Toga's eyes flicked between them and the console with vague curiosity. And while Dabi's expression had yet to change, there was now an additional layer of disdain in those heavy-lidded eyes.
"Really? You two are geeking out over some old games?" the scarred man snorted, as though the pair had disappointed him immensely. "Somehow I'm not –"
"Yo, can I join?! I haven't played video games much before!" Twice blurted over him. "I mean… not much else to do, so… can I?"
Spinner's head spun so fast toward Shigaraki that he almost gave himself whiplash. Not that he noticed from the ray of hope Twice's request had given him; the guilty, desperate hope that they might actually get to play. Upon seeing that the distinctive hand-mask was turned back to the console, he caught Shigaraki's eyes glinting from behind its fingers – the longing had returned, this time with an accompanying bitter spark.
Spinner knew exactly how he felt. The same internal tug-of-war was going on within him. One part of him, the larger part, spoke from his brain, telling him NO, these child-demographic party games were beneath him and it should be first-person shooters or nothing.
But the other, smaller part of him spoke from his heart – any game is better than no game.
"If Twice is allowed, I'll play too if you want," Toga added, despite her visible disinterest. "Normally I'm not into this kinda thing, but I'm bored as hell."
"I never would have expected it from this troupe, but I'll gladly partake in some friendly camaraderie," Compress agreed.
"Hard pass. This is stupid," Dabi muttered.
Noticing that their boss had yet to say or do anything in response, Spinner cast an inquiring glance Shigaraki's way, a silent bid for permission. "You know, most of these games are meant for up to four players," he hinted. "Surely the only way to enjoy them is at their full potential?"
"… Fine," Shigaraki spat. "But I'm picking what we play, got it?"
Surprisingly, Shigaraki's first choice was Wii Sports – he never said why, but Spinner guessed he either found everything else worse or wanted to start with a four-player game where he could kick as many people's asses as possible. While their boss loaded the game, it didn't take Spinner long to find controllers and toss them to the others. Twice received one, who immediately gave it several experimental swings before backtracking and tying on the wrist strap, and so did Toga, who stared at the foreign object with complete bewilderment.
"You playing?" Spinner asked, holding the last one out to Dabi.
"No," was the emphatic reply, to which Spinner shrugged and handed the remote to Compress instead.
"You said that this contraption responds to motion?" he asked, flicking it like a wand. "What kind of physical activity would you have us perform with these?"
"Boxing," Shigaraki answered, bluntly. "If I'm forced to play these dumb party games, I should at least start by beating on you amateurs."
"A fistfight?" Compress dropped his remote in consternation. "Need I remind you that I'm an escape artist, not a brawler?"
As Shigaraki smirked wordlessly, the edges of his cracked lips visible from behind his hand-mask, Spinner made himself comfortable next to the reclining Dabi. This was bound to be an entertaining match.
Each fighter prepared their remote and prepared for battle. A quick glance at the game's instruction manual (old enough to be an actual manual) revealed to Spinner that the boxing minigame was meant to be a maximum three-round fight, with the AI picking the winner if there was no knockout. Of course, he had no reason to worry about that, given the spectacle currently playing out before him. Compress wasn't even putting up a fight – rather, he only used the motion controls to swerve left and right, dodging Shigaraki's punches. Shigaraki caught on to Compress'… well, "strategy" was a strong word… and took the offensive, beating his opponent down in two rounds.
The final countdown concluded, and Compress collapsed onto the sofa with a heavy sigh. "Thank heavens that barbaric excuse of a sport is finished."
"Tough break," Spinner said, patting him on the shoulder. "Golf is probably more your style, anyway."
Next up was Twice, then Spinner himself. After a slightly less brutal match than the first, Spinner was handed the remote and encouraged to "do your best/avenge me!". He started out in a defensive pose to block Shigaraki's first two strikes and retaliated with a blow of his own. He narrowed his eyes, sweat already starting to form on his brow. This was serious: his first competitive game since joining the League. He would show his fellow hardcore gamer that he was worthy.
To his credit, Spinner lasted longer than the other two, using everything he knew about fighting games and his own limited combat experience to bring a safe, defensive strategy against Shigaraki's ruthless spamming. The third round came along and they were almost evenly matched, Spinner lagging behind but confident he could beat Shigaraki. Unfortunately, the hand-faced man had by now wizened up and was beginning to play more defensively. Spinner couldn't get in enough counterattacks to knock his rival out by the round's end, and Shigaraki ended up being named the winner yet again.
Spinner sat back down to the sound of Twice cheering (and booing) like a rabid football fan. "Sorry," he said gruffly. "Thought I had a real shot at winning, since I'm more of a physical fighter than you guys."
"Not my fault I'm the only one in our party who minmaxed for DPS," Shigaraki replied, his pleasure unmistakable.
"I hate this children's game," Toga moped from her spot in the corner. "What's so great about a fistfight if there isn't any blood?"
"Maybe try playing it yourself instead of being so quick to judge," Dabi growled, likely irritated by the complaints.
Toga's bad mood didn't last for long, however – and it coincided with the end of Shigaraki's winning streak. Spinner had no idea whether to be delighted or disturbed as the girl put her own combat experience to use, shifting the fight from even to a one-sided slaughter. He stared, dumbfounded, as she weaved past Shigaraki's strikes and just unloaded on him, cackling like the maniac she was. Gradually, the incredulity gave way to genuine respect for his ally – he found himself applauding alongside Compress and Twice once the third round ended and Toga hopped up and down with glee.
"I beat Tomura~! I beat Tomura~!" she chanted, all previous reservations having evaporated.
"Next game," Shigaraki demanded. "This brat used a cheat."
Next up was bowling, for some reason. Spinner guessed that Shigaraki was so peeved at his defeat that he didn't notice which minigame he chose, just as long as he didn't have to be reminded of that embarrassment.
Not that Spinner was complaining. Rather, he took his place amongst his fellow competitors with head high and chest out. Never mind that he was holding a remote instead of the familiar, gentle roundness of a bowling ball. Bowling was his time to shine.
A few uneventful rounds went by as four of the six League members took their turns, but Spinner pulled ahead rapidly, swelling with silent pride each time his score climbed. Twice, ever the expressive one, began half-cheering whenever another set of pins was cleared. His excitement reached a head in the sixth round; Spinner swung his arm forward, the motion culminating in a satisfying clatter of downed pins, and the man in the bodysuit went wild.
"Four strikes in a row?!" he exclaimed, hands flying to his head in disbelief. "How are you so good at this, man? Anyone can throw a ball at some lame-ass pins!"
"My, Spinner, I never knew you had such talent," Compress complimented the lizard-man. "Regardless of what our bipolar compatriot thinks, this is a performance worthy of a standing ovation."
Shigaraki, the majority of whose balls had landed in the gutter, made a derisive sound in his throat.
Spinner turned away from the praise, fighting with his own face to suppress a smile. He instead kept a stiff upper lip and raised his head in stoic acknowledgement. "My hometown had an old bowling alley," he explained, only the slightest tremble in his voice giving away his pride. "When I wanted to spend time out of the house, I went there, and so honed my skill."
"For the bowling, Michelangelo, or the food?" Dabi snarked.
Wisely, Spinner chose not to answer that, and chose to blame his next score of a mere eight on his teammate's sarcasm.
Upon moving to the next minigame, Spinner discovered that he'd been right. Golf was Mr. Compress' forte.
"And that's game," the magician smirked as his last ball rolled smoothly into the hole.
"What the crap, dude?! How did you do that?!" Twice demanded. "I can't even decide on how to swing half the time."
"Golf is a gentleman's sport," Compress gloated.
Shigaraki glared at the display of scores – specifically his whopping seven over par – and snarled.
In contrast to the previous games, everybody agreed that baseball was frustrating. As it was only a two-player game, they decided to make teams of two and take turns with the remotes when it came time to bat. Shigaraki and Compress were two runs ahead, but through no skill of their own – the former had managed to get enough singles to score a point, while the latter was less consistent but had gotten a lucky home run in between all his strikeouts. Toga and Spinner were still at zero. Twice cheered for both teams because it was Twice.
"Ugh," Toga grouched as her swing sent the ball rolling to the far right. "Stupid remote. Why is it so hard to hit straight with this thing?"
The game cheerfully announced the end of her turn, then called for the teams to switch sides. Compress got up to bat while Toga tossed her remote to Spinner, who caught it with a deft hand but didn't bother to get up from his seat. His teammate's griping wasn't unwarranted – the timing necessary to pull off a clean hit was narrow, each player's turn at bat usually ending in an out. Pitching was so easy as to be dull in comparison. Spinner had to stifle a yawn as he ended Compress' turn with three lazy swings.
Shigaraki was up next, and unfortunately for Spinner's mood, he held up his consistent record by getting three solid hits in a row. With the bases now filled, he'd seemingly set himself up for at least another point. He said nothing, but there was a palpable smugness about the way he held himself at the ready for Spinner's next pitch.
Unenthusiastically, Spinner flicked the remote in a random direction. This time, though, Shigaraki only managed to hit the resulting fastball with the tip of his bat, sending it out of bounds. Grumbling about bad hitboxes, he swung again, and this time he whiffed, his timing off by a hair. His next attempt also missed, earning himself a second strike. A harsh breath hissing from underneath his hand-mask, he let fly with an annoyance-powered swing.
THWACK. The dramatic crack that blared through the speakers had Spinner sitting up anxiously. He watched with bated breath as the ball went sailing into the air down the middle of the field, a powerful hit. The ball's smooth arc began to curve downward, the camera following it through the air, toward the stands, and…
…right into the glove of a waiting NPC. With Shigaraki out, only now did Spinner relax, reclining back in his seat while Shigaraki did the same with far more violence.
"Well, that was certainly an unsatisfying climax," Compress noted. "Though with my teammate's luck runneth over, I doubt I can hit enough to earn all these points set up for me. If only I was a better understudy."
Spinner allowed himself a snicker, but swiftly stifled it upon seeing Shigaraki's shaking hands start to scratch at his scabbed neck. A moment of catharsis, Spinner decided, wasn't worth getting disintegrated over.
When the baseball game had concluded, Spinner slipped out of the room to take a whiz. Upon returning to the basement, though, he wasn't met with the noisy banter that he had by now gotten used to. Rather, an unusual tension had fallen over the room. Twice was standing up, blocking the screen from view, but everyone else was huddled on the sofa, hushed and still. Even Dabi was roused, his spiky black hair peeking over the couch cushions.
"What the hell is…" Spinner tried to say, only to be shushed harshly. He raised an eyebrow. Since when were all his comrades this invested in a single activity? He walked toward his usual spot, the details on screen now coming into view.
The screen displayed a tennis match, four avatars on the field, each team of two swinging their rackets at the same time to bat a ball back and forth over a low net. This wouldn't have been too surprising on its own if it weren't for how Twice was playing.
Only Twice. A Wii remote in each hand. Playing both teams.
"Give up already! You first, moron!" he argued with himself every time he swung. "I can do this all day! You swing like my grandma! We have the same grandma!"
Spinner joined the League in mutual fascination, sitting down with eyes glued to the action. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want to see how this turned out.
(Spoiler alert: Twice won.)
Eventually, the League became sick of the relative tameness of kids' sports, and Shigaraki dug through the box for another game to play. It took him a long time, muttering to himself as he dropped several back into the box and outright tossed aside a few more. From what Spinner remembered of the box's contents, he was doing them all a favor by throwing away most of the options. He doubted he could stomach a trivia game or a fishing simulator, especially with the rest of the League present.
And so, though he felt a nervous knot twist itself inside his stomach at the sight of a Mario Kart disc, he supposed Shigaraki had picked the best choice available and swallowed his protest.
"Why so tense, my boy?" Compress asked, noticing Spinner's apprehension. "I recall you once saying that these games taught you how to drive. Surely you've nothing to fear."
"That's not saying much," Dabi sniped.
"Spinner's right," Shigaraki said. "Mario Kart gets chaotic in multiplayer. It's the sort of game that's said to ruin friendships. I've never heard of what happens when a bunch of villains get together to play it."
Toga perked up at the mention of possible bloodshed. "Soooo, one of us could end up dead by the end of the night? That does sound fun!" she smirked with all her teeth.
"Nah, we've got nothing to fear! We're tight as hell!" Twice proclaimed, giving Spinner a friendly nudge, which the lizard-man didn't return.
"Right. Shigaraki and I are worrying for nothing," he answered with a forced smile, pointedly not looking in Toga's direction.
"Screw you guys, I have no friends!" Twice replied.
With only four controllers, the group decided unanimously that Twice would sit the first round out as payback for that comment. While his other half objected, they loaded up the game and progressed to the multiplayer menu. The lowkey music and cast of iconic Nintendo characters helped soothe Spinner's nerves somewhat, though he kept focused when it came time to choose his racer. The race had yet to begin, but this is where the competition truly started.
Not knowing much about Mario Kart and whether character choice mattered or not, Spinner settled on a comforting choice, the turtle-like Koopa Troopa. Shigaraki made a choice even Twice could've predicted and went with the iconic Bowser. While they did so, Compress hemmed and hawed at each character before deciding with a questionable degree of enthusiasm ("Ooh, who's this dapper-looking gentleman?" "… That's Toad."). Toga, meanwhile, chose…
"…Luigi?" Spinner asked, mollified. "I thought for sure you'd go with Peach."
He didn't get anything other than a giggle in reply, so he cast a questioning glance at the girl. One peek and he felt his bones turn ice-cold; a feverish blush bleeding across her cheeks, fangs gleaming in a hungry grin, poisonous yellow eyes glowing with lust as she stared not ahead at the wall, but on some distant, twisted fantasy.
"Oh, it's just that this green guy reminds me of someone super special~…" she said with a lovesick sigh, a tone that not at all matched her predatory expression.
Spinner, feeling as though centipedes were crawling up his spine, returned to the TV and mouthed a wordless prayer for the Hero boy whom Stain had acknowledged.
Just then came the course selection screen, flashing into view to keep Spinner's attention on the trial ahead. Whatever relief he felt from being distracted from Toga was replaced by the worry he felt upon seeing Shigaraki's choice of course: the Player 1 cursor was making straight for the ones displayed on the right, beginner tracks be damned.
"Is it really a good idea to begin with such advanced stage direction?" Compress voiced Spinner's thoughts. "Surely you could allow us amateurs to rehearse with a simpler script?"
"Get good," was all Shigaraki said in response.
A cinematic preview of their first course – a volcanic wasteland with raining fireballs and no guardrails to protect wayward drivers from rivers of lava – was the only preparation the other League members had before they were thrust into the race. A horn blared, and eight AI drivers plus Shigaraki hurtled forward on thrumming engines. Spinner's hands shook as he fought to keep up, keeping his eyes glued to his corner of the screen and tilting the remote to steer past other racers. For the first few moments of the race, nobody spoke, concentrating on their individual go-karts and the obstacles waiting in their path.
"Blast!" the first word spoken was by Compress – a glance at his screen revealed he'd missed the first platform and fallen into lava. "What utter madman would build a racetrack in this hellish wasteland? There isn't even proper pavement!"
"Gotta keep up," Spinner grunted, too busy navigating a curving path to bother with sympathy. "It gets worse than this, trust me."
Speak of the devil: "Ooh, a pretty thing!" Toga gushed, steering through an item cube. "I got something! How do I use it?"
Just as she asked, Spinner got his own item, and grinned at the sight of a red shell. "Like this," he told her, and gave her a demonstration by sending the projectile homing into the AI in front of him. He couldn't deny the rush of satisfaction when he witnessed the shell strike its mark and his score subsequently go up.
"Wheeeeee!" the schoolgirl cheered as she activated her own, a triple speed boost. She zoomed onto Spinner's screen and far past him, dropping his number back down. "I'm beating you, I'm beating you~!"
"Not for long…" he muttered, seeing a speed boost on the path ahead. He watched as Toga missed it in her excitement, and then steered into it with a last-minute tilt of his remote, riding it around the next bend and reclaiming his former spot. He heard her whine as he passed, but he paid her no heed, his sights already locked on Shigaraki, the only one he'd yet to beat. Soon, that coveted golden "1st" would be displayed on his screen.
The second lap began, and Spinner swept past the last few AI karts, his tongue poking from his mouth as he tried an experimental drift around the next bend. He released a soft "whew" when the technique worked, but he had no time to rest – only Shigaraki remained, his kart now visible onscreen. He leaned forward in his seat, putting all his effort into matching each of his rival's turns, taking every speed boost, drifting with confidence whenever Shigaraki did. Every item cube he ran across, he hurled banana peels and green shells in futile hope, only for Shigaraki to glide around them.
"You can't stay in front forever, Shigaraki!" he challenged.
"Huh," the hand-faced man considered. "You're less of a noob at this than I thought."
"Yo Compress, you're not doing so hot!" Twice declared, suddenly.
"Cut me some slack, this is my first time!" the magician protested, then, to himself, added, "If only I knew where to get my hands on some of those 'items' the others keep nattering on about."
Spinner risked missing a turn when he glanced at Compress in surprise. "How can you not know?" he asked, jerking his remote to avoid driving into lava. "There are multicolored item boxes scattered all over the track."
Now it was Compress' turn to double-take. "You mean to say those things aren't obstacles?" he gasped. "I've been driving between them this whole time! I thought they were there to make the game harder!"
"In a way, he's not wrong," Shigaraki mused, just before sending a red shell careening backwards into Spinner. The lizard-man clenched his jaw and let out several strangled curses upon seeing his place drop from 2nd to 6th in seconds; Shigaraki's only reaction was a smirk.
The final lap ended, and the score was a shameful record of Spinner's failure; Shigaraki crowned with 1st place, Toga at a comfortable 4th, and Spinner sitting at 6th. He took some consolation in the fact that he hadn't done as poorly as Compress, who sighed and accepted his meagre rank of 11th.
None were allowed to rest, however, as Shigaraki was already choosing their next course. He ended up selecting an even more difficult track, a busy highway winding through a bustling city, where moving obstacles filled the roads and threatened a bad time for anyone not skilled enough to navigate the maze. This was made extremely clear only a few seconds into the race, when Spinner drifted around the first bend and was flattened by a car coming the other way.
"Damn," he muttered, getting back into gear at reduced speed. Shigaraki was already in 1st place again. He really would have to give it his all – his Plus Ultra, as the false Heroes loved to say – if he had a hope of emerging victorious.
"Ah, now I see how these mystery boxes work!" Compress remarked with glee as he picked up his first item. "Let's see what this intriguing prop is used for, shall we?"
His comment was punctuated by a dramatic KSSHHH and each player's screen flashing black as bolts of lightning struck everyone who wasn't Compress. "Ooh, such dramatic flair!" the magician marveled. "Perhaps now I have a shot at outperforming some of you more savvy youngsters."
Toga let out a frustrated growl when her already slowed progress was brought to a halt by a car coming around the corner. "Ugh, why does this level have to be so annoying? There's dumb cars everywhere and none of them make my character bleed."
"Let me have a go!" Twice volunteered, sitting up ramrod-straight. "I've got your back, babe! Leave it to me and I'll win this race for ya!"
She tossed him the remote and propped herself on her elbow with a pout. Of course, Twice immediately swerved into a wall, the few seconds' pause dropping him to second-last. "What gives, man?! How the hell do you drive this thing?!"
Twice's shout grated on Spinner's ears, but he wasn't about to let that distract him. Shigaraki's kart was the one to beat, and it was right there. But as before, claiming 1st place would be difficult: Shigaraki simply swerved around whatever Spinner threw at him, and the plethora of moving obstacles only complicated matters further, at one point deflecting a green shell back towards him in a narrow miss that had Spinner releasing a shuddering exhale.
A sound of anguish came from Compress, who was fighting with his remote to keep on course. "Confound this infuriating gauntlet!" he sounded closer to genuine rage than Spinner had ever heard him. "Why would anyone in their right mind hold a race on crowded city streets? None of the other drivers are using their turn signals! I've been flattened more times than I can count! And was that a bloody bomb with wheels I saw driving past?! What is wrong with this city?!"
"He's losing iiiit~," Toga sang.
Spinner could empathize with his struggling comrade – by the onset of the third lap, the level's gimmick had culminated in an extremely busy track covered in obstacles. He leaned further forward, tuning all of it out: Twice's yelling, Compress' fretting, the NPCs honking horns and exchanging projectiles around them. At the very front of the pack, it was only him and Shigaraki. While the others dealt with the chaos behind them, he was playing a different game, feeling almost calm as he and Shigaraki pursued one another, alone amongst the stage hazards.
Just then, disaster struck in the form of a shrieking alarm from Spinner's remote, alerting him to an incoming shell. He cursed repeatedly as he tried to keep ahead of it, despite knowing it was futile. Several NPCs instantly passed him by when he was struck, bringing him back into the middle of the race, and that much farther from his rival.
Then, in a brilliant stroke of luck, liberation arrived in the form of an item box that blessed him with the sight of the most infamous projectile in the game, a bright blue harbinger of suffering and rage. Sworn enemies had been born over this item, but the thought of Shigaraki disintegrating him couldn't be further from his mind, not with certain victory ahead.
"I've got you now, Shigaraki!" he roared. "Your reign in this arena of discord has come to an end! I shall deliver unto you the taste of defeat! EAT BLUE SHELL!"
He let the shell fly, watching it zoom off on a beeline toward Shigaraki. A vehement stream of "shitshitshitshit" spewed from between the hand-faced man's gritted teeth as his doom streaked closer. Keeping one eye on his own screen, Spinner watched as Shigaraki attempted to brake and let an AI pass him so the shell would switch targets, but his effort came too late – the shell hovered directly above him before slamming down with a cerulean explosion.
A manic grin splitting his face in two, Spinner felt an incredible rush of triumph as he rushed past Shigaraki's stationary kart. This was it! He was in 1st place! And just around the next turn, there was the finish line! He powered forward, watching with growing anticipation as the goal got closer, and closer, and oh, sweet victory was within his rea–
His remote beeped a warning just as a second blue shell appeared above his head.
Shigaraki seemed to take great pleasure in bumping Spinner's kart on his way past.
Several races came and went. Spinner had yet to beat Shigaraki. Compress never really improved. But eventually, it was inevitable that Shigaraki, in his desire for more challenging gameplay, would select the toughest course of all, the one that Spinner had heard Internet horror stories about even centuries after the game's release.
There was no avoiding it. Their next race would be on Rainbow Road.
An ethereal ribbon of multicolored light winding through a starry sky, Rainbow Road's stellar design and matching soundtrack were a foul deception. Very few guardrails blocked its twisting paths and nigh-nauseating drops, leaving it purely up to the player's skill to avoid falling toward the vision of Earth that added to the course's treacherous beauty. Add to that the standard speed of the game's multiplayer mode and the eleven other drivers lobbing various perils at each other, and it was a recipe for cataclysm bundled in an innocuous candy wrapper.
The first ten seconds of driving started with a near-vertical drop peppered with speed boosts, which set the stage for what Spinner was sure would be the entire race. Twice fell off immediately, Shigaraki hit a speed boost and lost control, Compress tried to avoid the boosts and in doing so also drove off, and Spinner was rammed off by two speeding NPCs one after the other. All four players dropped to dead last at the very beginning, bested by the course's first hurdle. It painted a grim image of the challenge ahead.
"This level is impossible!" Twice raged, having fallen off again right after restarting. "I'm doing worse than Compress, and that's saying something! This freakin' rocks!"
"Now, now, enough slander," Compress tutted. Spinner would have blinked in surprise at the magician's airy tone if he wasn't preoccupied with his own progress. "I happen to think I'm doing quite well, all things considered. I much prefer having only one thing to worry about instead of the bombardment of bewildering props that've been beguiling me since the start of this performance."
Spinner wished he had Compress' confidence – in fact, he thought it remarkable that Compress still had such confidence after placing so badly in every race. The thought didn't last long: it couldn't, not on Rainbow Road where every turn required razor precision and any mistake could set him back several vital seconds. Already, Shigaraki was beginning to pull ahead again as he adapted to the nature of the track. Spinner would have to do the same if he stood a chance at finally beating him.
He scooted forward, literally on the edge of his seat with his elbows on his knees and his knuckles white (or at least paler green) as he gripped the remote like a vise. AI racers were passed by or knocked aside as they came. Left, then right, then left again, then ri–
The atmospheric soundtrack changed abruptly, Spinner's only warning before a kart enveloped by rainbow light smashed through him, sending him tumbling over the edge. "Sorry, Shuichi!" Toga laughed, not sounding sorry in the slightest as she sped far ahead of him.
"What the – when did you start racing again?!" he demanded, his kart respawning on the track at a pitiful 11th place.
"Jin gave me his remote!" she chirped, then dissolved into cackles as she proceeded to gun down unsuspecting NPCs with a flurry of green shells.
"It was the only way," Twice added, sounding resigned. Though not for long – "I was just being nice! I coulda won all on my own!"
However, Spinner didn't hear him, his own frustration taking precedence as the 10th place that took far too long for him to reclaim was suddenly snatched from him by a racer that bumped him on its way past, in the process transferring a sparking thundercloud that loomed with a dissonant smile, cheerful as it contemplated his coming suffering.
"Apologies, Spinner," Compress called out, "but you kids aren't going to outdo this old man this time."
A faint shuffle came from Spinner's right, probably Dabi shifting position. Had he been in the right state of mind, Spinner might have realized that Dabi had been silent for a long while, maybe questioned why he had ceased making smart-alecky remarks, perhaps even been surprised that he was still present at all.
But there was a 1st place trophy with Spinner's name on it getting farther away by the second, and so he ignored it. His next item cube was another lucky pick intended for just such lagging racers, an AI-controlled bullet that steered him flawlessly down the track at incredible speed. It dropped him into the middle of the pack – 5th place, so much closer to his goal that, now, achieving it felt possible. He came out of the transformation still driving, and hastened to make the upcoming turn, but he was too late to prevent himself from careening off the side.
"Damn it all!" he snarled, thumping the remote to get some iota of aggression out of his system. "What is this infernal track?!"
There was another shifting sound from just beside him. "That's it," a voice huffed, "I can't take much more of this."
For a split second, Spinner surfaced from his fog of righteous ire to question who had just spoken and why it sounded familiar. Then the moment for such luxuries was over, as he found himself shoved clear off the sofa by an unknown force, thumping his back and elbows on the carpet and the remote falling with a muffled clatter. His outrage returned with a vengeance as he sat up and glared toward whomever had dared topple him – only for it to vanish again just as quickly when he saw his assailant. His eyebrows shot to his hairline as he recognized the black mop and matching jacket that now seized his controller as his own.
"DABI?!" Spinner shouted, aghast. "I thought you said you didn't play video games!"
"I do when I'm sick of watching you fuck up," Dabi rasped, not even looking at him as he bent forward in uncharacteristic concentration.
Bristling with rage, Spinner opened his mouth to argue, but the way Dabi slouched so naturally into a focused gamer posture distracted him enough to forget his anger. He watched with a sort of suspicious curiosity as Dabi struck an item cube, drifted around the next bend, and without breaking a sweat used the resulting speed boost to power into a second boost, breezing past two NPCs and into the 4th place spot. Spinner frowned to himself, his confusion growing – how could the League member who had so adamantly wanted nothing to do with participating be doing so well with this game?
He kept silent as Dabi approached another item box, dumping the bomb he'd acquired a split second before grabbing the next item. Spinner at this point was too fascinated by Dabi's efficacy to hear Toga's squeal and Compress' sigh as they were both caught in the blast. Rather he marveled at how Dabi made use of the trio of shells orbiting his kart, keeping them in place to not only block an incoming red shell but also trip a racer trying to speed past. The last shell Dabi fired without skipping a beat to nail the AI in front of him with unerring accuracy.
The last lap was on, and with Dabi now in 3rd, Spinner found himself holding his breath. The track steepened and Dabi flawlessly maneuvered to hit all three speed boosts, then drifted around the next bend and flashed past the 2nd place NPC. Shigaraki was still ahead, but visible and getting closer as the distance between them shrunk. Eyes widening, Spinner snuck a glance at his leader, who was calm yet sitting rigid, a faint sheen of sweat glistening on his temple. As for Dabi, Spinner saw no change in his stoic expression even as he matched the twists and turns of the track with impossible skill. Only Dabi's eyes revealed any emotion, but it was faint: a glint that brightened those otherwise dull turquoise orbs, a spark that betrayed a blazing desire for competition.
The finish line was coming up, and Shigaraki was still ahead, but only just. Though he had enough skill to keep ahead, Dabi was closing in, every speed boost he hit bringing him roaring closer until he was right up against Shigaraki's bumper. A final wall of item cubes stretched across as though to bar their way, and they each grabbed one last chance to turn the race around. Shigaraki gave the widest smirk he had that night, swerving into Dabi's path and deploying a banana peel that the scarred man had no choice but to drive into.
Spinner felt the rising dawn of hope within him die, choked out by storm clouds as Shigaraki continued unimpeded toward the finish line. But in his despair, he failed to see Dabi's eyes narrow and his hands twist the remote sharply toward a lone speed boost still in his path. He went back up to full speed in an instant, his engine screaming towards the goal. He hurled his final item, a single green shell, at the height of his boost, but Shigaraki jinked right on a curving road toward certain victory…
…only for the shell to deflect off the guardrail flanking the finish line and nail Shigaraki in the back, inches from the goal. A second later, Dabi blazed through and took 1st place out from under his nose.
Spinner was floored. He goggled fishlike at the unexpected victor, eyes bugging and mouth gaping. The entire room was frozen, no sound coming even from Twice, an unspoken question hanging like acrid smoke in the air – what the HELL just happened?!
Dabi stood up all at once and gave a tired stretch, dropping the remote like so much trash. "That's it. I'm done," he stated. "I'm going to bed, so keep it down if you're going to continue your stupid game, alright?"
The last thing they saw of him was the swish of his coat as he ascended the stairs, and the last thing they heard was the tinny slam of the basement door. At that moment, Shigaraki's hand-mask fell from its owner's face with a dull thud, revealing for the first time the young supervillain's flabbergasted visage.
AN:
So, after a long and messy process punctuated with random bouts of writer's block, this ended up being way longer than I intended it to be. I don't regret a thing, though, it was still massively fun to write. This despite my massive fear that I would write the League of Villains poorly or OOC. They're some of my favorite MHA characters and I really wanted to do them justice, even though this is a silly crack fic. I'd actually really appreciate some feedback if any of you thought the dialogue felt off, or if there's anything I can improve on these characters in general.
Spinner was the best choice for a protagonist given he's the most "ordinary", and thus most relatable, member of the League. Despite that, I easily enjoyed writing dialogue for Compress and Dabi the most, probably because of the theater metaphors and "I-couldn't-give-less-of-a-shit" attitude. Toga was a close third because I love her brand of insanity. Twice needed some revisions before I was satisfied with how his clashing personalities came across.
That's it for now! I'll definitely be writing more MHA content in the foreseeable future, so please send reviews if you liked the story, and stay tuned!