AN: Huge thanks for the reviews!
The evening really hadn't gone according to plan for Rory. The breakfast for dinner idea which had seemed such a clever invention had ended with a gallon of milk on the floor, and jam all over Finny, making it quite challenging for Rory and Maya to handle all three of them. G had a report due, so Rory really didn't want to bug her with something this domestic.
But the night hadn't ended there. As she'd been giving Finny a bath, he'd managed to spray shower gel all over the floor when Rory had excused herself for a second, just outside the bathroom, to grab Emma who'd been crying because of the contents of her diapers. The smell was bad enough to make anyone cry - oh, the joys of babies eating real food. By the time she'd changed Emma, Finny had begun to attempt getting out of the bathtub on his own, despite Rory's discouragement, and slipped on the trail of soap on the floor, getting a bad scare. Thankfully, there was no real damage, but it made Rory see how barely two people were holding down the fort at home. While G didn't help them all the time, even having her hang out with her in the evenings had become such a huge help which she leaned on with Logan away, perhaps even too much. Rory actually felt a little guilty doing it, and she always tried to make it optional for G.
But Rory knew that if she were to do it - go to London for the coming weekend, G was probably going to have to help out too. And as if that was not all - she'd have to call Lorelai and ask for help, unlike she'd done in years. She knew her situation was nowhere like Celeste had with her mother, yet the call made her apprehensive, knowing there'd be too many questions.
As the kids were finally asleep, an hour later than she would've liked, Rory stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, having just washed her face and used her nightly oil serum, which had become her minimum nighttime routine when she wasn't up for more. Somehow, with the oil on her face, she always thought she looked worse than before - every skin imperfection visible at the ruthless bathroom mirror light. She combed her hair, which to her looked thin and frail, having lost a bunch of hair after having the twins and her hairline looked like she was growing bangs with tiny new hairs. Even her looks didn't seem to play in her favor these days, which she certainly would've needed to gather up her courage to call Logan.
His "I'll do anything," was the only thing keeping her together, and she knew she had to, needed to, call - even though she knew she'd be waking him at 4.30 AM, or if she could stay up a little while longer, which was an idea just as bad, at 5. She'd done it back in the day, when she'd just kept forgetting the time difference with Logan, such naivete was long gone by now - she'd be doing it quite purposefully to catch a moment with him tonight.
With a guilty heart, she waited as the phone rang on Logan's side, sitting on her bed, legs crossed, preparing for the conversation to be had. She didn't want to cry or yell, not to beg - not to wake the kids, not to say something she'd regret, but not leave anything critical unsaid either.
"I'm up," Logan declared sounding tired, clearly having been fully asleep as she caught him.
"Sorry," Rory replied, hearing his grogginess from his voice. But that was their reality right now - the only moment she really had was when the kids were asleep and it was in the middle of the night in London.
"Just give me a minute," he said, and Rory could vaguely hear him flipping on the light and heading for the bathroom. Water ran in the distance and Rory could assume he'd just run some cold water over his face like he usually liked to do in the mornings before going running.
Logan appeared a minute later on camera, looking like he always looked in the mornings - his eyes slightly narrower than during the day, his hair messy and quite often with a few pillow marks on his face. Today was no different.
"It's good to see you," Rory managed. It was also good to hear him - video being several degrees better than texting.
"You have no idea...," Logan replied. He massaged nervously his shoulder with his opposite hand, the gesture telling Rory well that he'd been sitting too many hours behind his laptop again, instead of using his external screen.
A brief silence lingered.
"I'm sorry that I haven't send the letter - e-mail, whatever, I just… the writing has been going so well," Logan sighed, apologetically.
That Rory could understand. Whatever was stopping him from putting down words - at least now she knew it wasn't for the lack of trying or lack thinking about it. Sometimes the words just didn't come.
"I just need you to know that this is not me disappearing on you or leaving or purposefully distancing myself... I don't want to hurt you or make you worry. I'm not going anywhere unless you make me, but there are just thoughts in me that I don't want you to hear because I don't even understand myself where they're coming from. I don't recognize myself, I'm ashamed of these thoughts, Rory," Logan explained, sounding miserable.
Rory didn't reply, the latter was what she'd been sensing too. She just wondered what was the moment in which thoughts took over the person.
"The knowledge that you are there is what keeps me from completely losing it. Whatever work you've determined we need to do - I'm willing to do it. I trust your research, I'll even do the stupid 36 questions if you want," he added, hoping she'd know him enough to know how he usually felt about any type of worksheets like that.
Rory smiled weakly. The worry was difficult to stop.
"I don't want you to do these things because I want to, or because I think we need to," Rory replied.
"Poor choice of words - but on my defence it's kind of early," Logan apologized, hoping she'd see at least a trace of humour in this. "I want to," he assured. "I just think maybe by starting with the list it'd be easier somehow, maybe doing something like this will help me figure myself out as well," he suggested.
'Figure myself out' made Rory cringe - what if what he figured out wasn't what she wanted to hear or something that hardly complied the man that she loved?
"I miss being around you," Logan said, his words moving something in her.
"I miss you too," Rory relented, pushing aside his former choise of words, hoping desparately that it was just that. She needed to hope that there was Logan underneath it all to rediscover.
Logan rubbed his face with his palms, clearly still feeling tired.
"I hate texting, I keep reading your text with a dozen voices in my head. I hate thinking like you'd mock me - and even if that's what you did, maybe playfully, I've been struggling with finding the right words too. New Hartford was just so sudden, so much - I didn't know what to say," Rory explained.
"I'd never mock you," Logan assured her. "And I'm sorry - I clung onto something that got me excited. I hoped I'd get you excited, that it could be something we'd connect on - and I know it's not really your thing, but I hoped…maybe... I don't know...," Logan said picking his words but ending up doubting himself. "That maybe we'd find something in it that could be our 'something new to do or learn together'," he explained. "I just wanted to surprise you, I hoped you'd be excited - I know, it was stupid of me," he added.
"It's not stupid, Logan. But it was definitely a surprise. But it's such a significant thing to spring onto someone. You hadn't even told me you were looking at something like this, and for what purpose - and then you just sprung it on me," Rory said, sensing her pitch elevating.
"I'm sorry. It's not how I meant it," Logan replied.
"I don't think I can just keep going this topic over and over - as I said - you're free to get it, it's essentially your money. Get it - if it makes you happier. I want you to be happy, simple as tha. I don't want to move, but sure - I won't avoid it," Rory said, wanting to move on from the topic at hand.
"It's your money too," Logan said, in a slightly smug tone, as if needing to remind her.
"You know what I mean," Rory replied, and he did.
Both of them took an audible deep breath, as if buying time.
"Mitchum is in London already, he felt the need to tell me how you talked to him," Logan changed the subject slightly.
"Jerk," Rory muttered.
"Agreed," Logan concurred. Damn, how it felt good to agree with her, even if it was something so trivial.
"How's your weekend?" Rory asked, unsure if she should bring up the option of going to London herself.
"Some light reading," Logan replied, Rory knowing too much that it wasn't the fun kind.
"Any estimate of when you're coming home?" she inquired.
"Earliest next Thursday I think. Mitchum is here, so it speeds things up a little," Logan replied, feeling quite relieved to talk about something more practical on top of the heaviness. These heavy discussions were not over, but at least they both knew that neither had meant what they'd said or suggested as something to stir up more issues.
"Celeste suggested I ought to come to London..," Rory said, hesitantly.
"Ah…," Logan exhaled, taking in that thought. He didn't particularly like hearing that Celeste knew so much about their personal business but he should've known and really he wasn't mad about it, he just hadn't registered it that their issues really were something that were influencing Rory strongly enough that she might need a shoulder.
"Do you want me to come?" Rory asked.
"I mean… yeah," he blurted, unsure what to say. "If that's what you want and that's what you feel you can arrange, yes. Definitely," he added.
"I'll see if I can make it happen then," Rory replied, letting out an involuntary yawn.
"I'd love to see you," Logan assured once more, realizing his words really weren't working in his favor.
Rory smiled, but her eyes still looked a little sad.
"You should get some rest," Logan suggested.
"So should you," Rory replied.
"Not as much as you," he insisted.
"Can you just talk to me, until I fall asleep?" Rory asked. She didn't want to keep him up, but she knew that he'd probably not go to sleep after this. He'd likely work in the mornings or go for a jog instead. Logan didn't do naps shorter than 1.5 hours, referring to some science behind the sleep cycle being 1.5 hours and any less was just disruptive.
"Sure," Logan replied, his tone reflecting the weak smile he had on his lips. Baby steps.
Rory switched off the camera and her nightstand light and set the phone on the pillow beside her. Logan didn't at first know what to say - so he began just simply telling her about what was going on in London - weather, work, city. It was nothing, but the content really mattered very little at this point, it was just the comfort of his voice that she needed.
Rory hadn't gotten around to calling Sherry last night, first of all because it'd been too late for social calls to anyone else but Logan when Rory had finally had the time for it, and secondly because she realized she didn't have her number.
Rory was glad to be up half an hour earlier before the kids were that morning, while feeling a little tired, 6.5 hours were survivable. God, how she missed those days when she could sleep until 11! She wasn't even sure if she coudl if she was given the chance. But more importantly, she felt a little calmer about Logan - at least they were more or less on the same page - they were willing to work on them.
G was coming down the stairs, the thumps of her new dark red Dr. Martens, which she was wearing proudly, echoing in the stairway. As she appeared in the kitchen stairway, Rory glanced over her as if checking over whether she was dressed appropriately for school - but G really wasn't problematic in that sense, just like right now she usually dressed in some skinny jeans or leggings and more and more was beginning to prefer oversized sweaters and T-shirts to anything too revealing.
"Morning," G replied, and grabbed a red smoothie she'd made herself last night and shook it up in the tumbler, while she searched for her to-go thermos in the dishwasher and placed that under the coffee machine.
"Hey, are you in a hurry?" Rory asked, checking the time.
"A little, why?" she asked. They were having their biology class at the Liberty Science Center to see some Microbe exhibition that morning hence she had a bus to catch.
"I need your mom's number," Rory replied.
"Sure… why?" G asked, sounding a little sceptical.
"I need her to go check out Celeste's apartment, Emily has got the keys," Rory shared.
G drank her smoothie and browsed her phone for numbers at the same time, and swiftly sent over the contact information to Rory.
"We're not sure yet, but this might also be an opportunity for her to get out of that house," Rory said, feeling like she needed to warn her. If Rory was going to suggest the place as a safe house of sorts, G needed to know that she might get an angry call from her mom blaming her for blabbering about their personal business to Rory.
"Oh…," G said, sinking down to the stool by the kitchen counter.
"Are you okay with that or would you rather call her yourself?" Rory asked, setting her own coffee cup down on the table.
"Maybe text her first, in case she can't talk right there," G suggested. She'd never really pinpointed it before, but whenever Sherry had talked to anyone from the states - her dad or some of her now distant friends, she'd hardly ever done it in front of Remi. She wondered if that was also the reason why her mom rarely called her and preferred to write lengthy e-mails instead. A lot of things were seeming more and more suspicious now, indicating that there might be a lot more going on in that household, than her mother had let on.
"Right," Rory nodded. "Do you know if she has her own bank account at least?" she asked.
"I think so, why?" G replied.
"In case she needs some starting money," Rory suggested. She was willing to give it to her. She couldn't imagine what it must have been like to feel stuck like that under some guy's roof.
"Thank you," G said, and hugged Rory. The topic definitely wasn't something she liked to think about much, but she desperately did hope that Rory might get through to her mother.
"Oh, and I'll ask Cathy and my mom to come stay for the weekend. I think I might try to go to London to see Logan. I don't want to ask you to babysit, but just… if there's a need, I'd love it if you could be a backup," Rory said, squinting her eyes. She really didn't want to exploit her like this.
"Of course, you deserve to go," she assured, and put her thermos in her backpack, the half-eaten smoothie still in her hand.
"Thanks;" Rory replied. "And another thing," Rory added, already seeing G wanting to slip out the door, clearly in a bit of a hurry. "Text me from the bus what do you want to do for your birthday," she added with a bigger smile. G was turning 17 at the end of the month, already in two weeks, and Rory really wanted her to have a nice time. But as the house really wasn't ideal for a big party like that, despite her apartment being half designed for it, she likely needed to plan ahead a little more than just getting a few bags of chips. She wasn't intending on competing with Emily Gilmore's definition of a birthday, but she really did think that after all that G had had doing on, the least she could do was give her a nice day.
After the kids's morning routines were done, taking a good hour and a half in totla, Rory knew that she had calls to make. She started with the most urgent ones.
"The long lost daughter does remember my number!" Lorelai teased her as she picked up. Sure, they texted every couple of days, but it wasn't really about anything meaningful, just the kids or something going on in Stars Hollow.
"I need a favor, mom," Rory sighed.
"Shoot, fruit of my loins," feeling the need to emphasize that fact. She was driving to work without Leo in earshot, hence not too careful of her wording.
"This weekend - any hope you'd help babysit? Maya is here, G promised to be back up, I'll also call Cathy," Rory began.
"Uu…," Lorelai began. "Hot date?" she joked.
"Kind of. I'm going to London," Rory confessed.
"Uu... hmm..," Lorelai began, ending in an unsure growl, but on her defence she was doing a left turn and needed to focus on her driving for a second. "Does it classify as a hot date if the guy's your husband?" she asked, as if there was any debate on that. Sometimes Rory felt, Lorelai tried too much these days.
"Definitely classifies," Rory replied, deciding to end the debate.
"This is awfully last minute. Everything okay with you two?" Lorelai inquired.
"We're fine," Rory lied. She didn't have the energy to explain it. "I just really want to go," she explained, knowing too well that she sounded like a sex addicted teenager with that excuse. The truth was she needed to go. "Can you do it?" she asked, before Lorelai had a chance to make any more comments.
"Sure, and I'm sure with Luke and Leo along we'll be fine without Cathy, she's got that strange accent to her voice - it's like she's Anna Paquin one minute and the next she's Emily VanCamp," Lorelai commented, trailing off.
"Thanks, any hope you can be here by 6 tomorrow?" Rory stayed on focus, her mouse cursor already set to press purchase on the tickets she'd had her eye on. She was saving time by flying at night and first class by now was pretty standard - she just hadn't expected the last minute tickets to be quite as expensive as they were. She swallowed hard and pressed 'purchase' anyways. This was too important.
"I guess," Lorelai replied, sounding a little flaky, which Rory knew meant only that she needed to tell Luke the time as well just in case, making a note to do that later.
"Ok, thanks mom, I owe you one. But I got to go, I have some more calls to make," Rory hurried the call to end. She felt a sting of guilt for the way things were between them too - lorelai was there for her when she needed her, but she - she was in her own world most of the time. Even with Lorelai having Leo now which eased the guilt a little, she felt unappreciative but at the same time powerless to change things now that she had so much going on. She didn't feel like she had the energy for her.
She called Cathy just the same, as if nothing else, to have her on back up - if something happened or Lorelai couldn't make it - and let Maya know Cathy was available, just in case. Cathy didn't much like working weekends as she had a kid of her own, but on occasion she'd been willing to help out in the past and Rory had even allowed her to bring her own kid if it had been an emergency.
Next she stared at Sherry's number on the phone. She didn't remember the last time she'd spoken to her. It could've well been when G had been just a toddler - on her first birthday maybe? After G had turned 18 months, Sherry slipped out of G's life for two whole years, and despite knowing first hand how rough raising a child could be, and especially with accompanied mental health issues, she had to admit that with the newfound information on Remi, Rory was actually mad at her for not doing a better job at stepping up to protect G. Sure, she'd done something - but it wasn't enough. But right now, she just needed to swallow that anger.
"Yeah?" the familiar voice asked. Rory had always thought that was a voice that'd make great commercials.
"Hi, Sherry! It's Rory," she said, her voice a little shaky, just now remembering what G had said about texting first, but she'd forgotten, having so many things on her mind.
"Rory, hi," she said, then abruptly adding, "Is Gigi okay?" worriedly. Clearly speaking at that moment wasn't an issue, and Rory breathed a little easier for her.
Rory hadn't realized that getting a call from her Sherry must've for a moment made her panick, maybe even worrying that G had been in an accident or something.
"G's fine, she's in school," Rory replied, sounding like a mother in this case. "I was actually calling about something else," she said and continued to explain how Emily Gilmore was in Paris and had a set of keys that they needed her to pick up and test on Celeste's apartment which was in the 8th arrondissement by the Madeleine. They needed her to take some photos of the place's condition too. Sherry of course didn't know anything about Celeste, or even less about the fact that she'd ever been someone remotely famous.
"I guess, I could do that," Sherry said, sounding like nothing was wrong. She was going over her schedule in her mind. Doing a favor for Rory, who was essentially making sure her little girl was safe, was the least she could do.
"There's no real hurry, but Emily's leaving on Sunday as far as I know," Rory said, hoping Sherry would at least agree another way of getting the keys if she couldn't make it before that.
"Alright," Sherry replied with a sigh. It wasn't really an issue for her to go and run those errands - it was just a bit of a logistical nightmare if she wanted to take her car to the city which was one constant traffic jam with the strike, which was still ongoing. "It's been a while since I've heard your voice, Rory. G told me a lot about you... I'm sorry I haven't called," she added apologetically.
"That's okay. G's doing well, better," Rory replied, a little cryptically. "Listen, Sherry… when you go to this place, can you not tell Remi anything about the place or where you're going?" she added. Having not spoken for such a long time to her, yet alone about anything personal, she felt she couldn't just outright suggest something so intimate as they'd originally thought. She actually thought this perhaps needed to come from G or from all three of them together so she wouldn't feel betrayed.
Rory could hear her sigh uncomfortably, beginning to sense that G might have mentioned something she considered private.
"We can talk about all of these reasons later," Rory suggested, assuringly.
"Okay," Sherry replied, and Rory could tell she was a little apprehensive but still willing to humour me.
"Call me when you get a chance. I'm sending you Emily's number and address right now, and I'll tell her you're coming," Rory added.
"Fine," Sherry said. "Listen, I got to..," she said, giving Rory the impression that she needed the conversation to end for whatever reason. Rory barely got a 'bye' out before the call was disconnected.
Rory took a deep breath, hoping Sherry would not just disappear on them.
Emily was next.
"Rory! How nice to hear from you!" her grandmother exclaimed as she picked up. She was a little drowsy, having just been woken from her afternoon nap.
"Grandma, hi," Rory said, adding, "I hope I didn't wake you." She knew her grandma had a habit of napping ever since she'd gone to Europe with her, and that had been ages ago.
"It's quite alright, sleeping in this magnificent city is a waste of time anyways." Emily replied, joyously. "Everything alright?" Emily asked with some concern.
"Yeah, I'm just calling about the keys," Rory began. "I've arranged for someone to come pick them up and go explore a little, so you wouldn't have to," she added.
"Oh," Emily replied, almost sounding disappointed.
"The one in Paris is a 5th floor walk-up," Rory added, letting her know the reason, in case she took it personally. You never knew with Emily, one day she wanted to be treated according to her age, the other she wanted to feel like she was 30 again and expected people to treat her as such.
"Fine," she exhaled. "Who is coming and when?" she asked on point.
"Sherry Tinsdale," Rory said, making it very clear who she was talking about. It was only then she realized she actually also needed to caution her grandmother as she had been in the midst of the incident with G as well, which Sherry knew nothing about.
"Sherry?" Emily confirmed in some disbelief. She hadn't thought she'd see the woman again in her life, but then again she'd never expected to see G as much as she did.
"Yes, Sherry. G's mom," Rory made it abundantly clear. "And can you just please not say anything about G - not that she came to you - none of it. Right now there are bigger issues we're dealing with and I just don't want to scare her with a scolding on good parenting. I want to help her, she needs it," Rory explained.
"You can't be seri…!" she began, already thinking up a number of things she wanted to say to Sherry.
"Grandma, please - if we do this right, we might be able to get her away from Remi. Celeste's place is vacant, she can stay there, maybe she help Celeste manage the other place, because Celeste really can't do any other transactions with them than renting them," Rory explained.
"Oh...," Emily reacted, thinking it over. "You know, Isabelle knows a few real estate agent if she needs help with the properties," Emily said.
"We'll see.. But first can you just make sure she gets the keys, and if for whatever reason she shows up with Remi, don't give the keys to them - I'd prefer if Remi knew nothing of this - just in case she takes Celeste up on her offer at some point," Rory explained, expecting this to not to be such an easy process to convince her.
"You're suspecting abuse?" Emily asked, reading Rory's undertone.
"We don't know - some form probably, I don't know how bad it is. I just need her alone to really talk to her, perhaps also with G present," Rory added.
"The girl's way too young to be involved in conversations like that," Emily argued.
"G's seen enough, Sherry might be more easily persuaded to leave him if G's in on this," Rory explained, hoping that the idea of having a heathy relationship with G, as much as possible, would be her motivation.
"Okay, I'll get them to her. But I could go along, I don't mind climbing 5 stories if it's just the one time I have to do it," Emily said as if being fit as a fiddle.
"Well - up to you,," Rory sighed smilingly. "But you sound really good, grandma! Thank you," Rory added.
"It's no problem. Take care!" Emily said, disconnecting the call.
AN: Just want to pick your brains a little: What do you think Tristian's reaction will be once he find outs his ex wife is dating Paris?