In-cell Bonding

The sun's rays somehow managed to penetrate through the low basement window, and, surprise, surprise: light right in Ymir's eyes. What bullshit. Stupid fucking sun, always raping her eyes so goddamned early in the shitty ass morning.

Still, no sense trying to go back to sleep now. Fucking sun done woke her up, so she may as well do the same to Yeager. The bruises she'd inflicted on him last night had healed as expected, so what better way to wake him up than to re-inflict them?

She raised her fist high above her cellmate/fiancé's head, slamming down as hard as she could, probably knocking out some teeth. Well, serves him right. He'd spent most of last night whining about how his ribs were cracked, and how he couldn't see out of his left eye and all that prissy shit. Tch, what a little bitch.

Yeager bolted upright, swinging. Pain flashed, emanating from her eye. Fucking asshole hit hard, for a bitch that is. Yeah, her powers would take care of any marks, but fuck did it still hurt. Shitty ass fucking titan bullshit powers.

"The fuck was that for!?" Yeager screeched like a two-year-old. What a little bitch. No clue what that fine piece of ass Ackerman saw in him, yeah, she'd wreck that girl's ass. But not like Christa- erm, Historia's ass, no that ass, she would make long and passionate love to.

Ah, shit, right, Yeager. "It means get your lazy ass outta bed, I ain't gonna listen to your snoring 'till shrimp-dick comes and lets us out."

Yeager huffed. "Yeah, well, you didn't have to punch me."

"What are you, a two year old fuck-nugget? Of course I didn't, but, I'm pretty sure titan-slut would want me to test out your regenerative abilities in the ealy morning." A bullshit excuse, to be sure, but not an inaccurate one.

Boy, was shrimp-dick was taking his time or what? Maybe he'd heard her call him by his new name and decided; 'Yeah fuck these titan fucks, they won't die if I don't feed them, probably.'

Did this mean she was stuck with gay-ass Yeager? Oh damn, they'd probably have to fuck and all that. He'd probably call out the word titan as he jizzed. It'd be funnier if she weren't the one taking his cum. And the kid would ruin her body... no. Wait. Since she regenerated, would her hymen regenerate too? Ah, losing her virginity every nigh until she got knocked up. Just great.

And the survey corps would end up taking the baby. And she'd be trapped down in this basement, surrounded by titan killers, shooting out kids for them to weaponize until she died, if she could die of old age. Cause, lets face it, regeneration. Fuck.

"You shouldn't overthink things like that you know." Yeager finally found his tongue. A pity he hadn't bitten it off.

Ymir remained silent, she didn't feel like dignifying this moron's stupidity.

"Trust me, I've been there. After my mom got..." He trailed off, tears in his eyes. Ymir wouldn't blame him for this, just this one time. If she had seen her mother be eaten right in front of her, it'd fuck her up too.

Yeager, now having regained himself, continued; "After she was... after the titans killed her. I blamed myself and the whole world. Then my dad vanished, and Mikasa and Armin were all I had left... and... well, long story short: after all that happened and the shock wore off, I started spiraling. I went to dark places within my mind, saw myself as a titan, which may have been a vision of the future or whatever, I don't know. But, the point is: don't think like that, it only brings you down."

Pretty deep for the screaming titan boy. It didn't help her very much, if at all, but it did distract her, which was a win in her eyes. Ah, and the jingle jangle of either shrimp-dick or titan slut.

Nope, it was just Armin with the keys. Huh, he looked awfully similar to Christa- Historia. Historia. Maybe he was a distant relative? Eh, who really cares. Point is: she can get the hell outta here.

"Commander Erwin says he wants to see you in his office, to go over..." The blonde looked uneasy and confused in having to deliver the news. "...wedding plans?"

He looked at Yeager in a weird way. Huh, if she hadn't seen Armin out fucking some blondie, she'd have pegged him as pegging Yeager. Yeah, she was hilarious. No. She needed Chr-Historia right now. She was having withdrawals.

END of 2

Author Note: Yeah, it's gonna last probably about ten or so chapters. Maybe less. It all depends on if I feel like it or not. I like writing Ymir as a sarcastic, unfunny, asshole who belittles everyone and everything.