AN ICE SURPRISE

Job 7: Ice Shooting

"Shoot, Bentley, anyone could let you in," Tennessee grumbles as he crawls through the drainpipe.

"Murray couldn't."

"I meant—ya know. It doesn't just have to be me. Can't I do something more fun?"

Bentley's sigh ruffles Tennessee's fur as he exits the drainpipe and stands up in the compound. "No. This is a very delicate operation; the weapons factory in the basement will require my skills."

Tennessee brushes off his clothes and starts through the compound towards the door, dodging patrols without even thinking about it. "Aw, shoot, Bentley, I wouldn't use no explosives here! I know better than to blow up the bank I'm robbin'. Can't I come along with? As security, like!"

"Just open the door, Tennessee."

As Tennessee gets to the compound's gate, though, there is one... very immediate problem. There are one, two, four guards standing there. One is clinging to each half of the door, as though keeping them closed with the weight of their bodies; the other two are standing guard. More patrol nearby, in easy shouting distance. Further, it's secured closed in a way that screams 'You're not opening this, bud' loudly enough not even a Cooper can argue with it. Tennessee ducks out of the way and pulls out his binoc-u-com to focus on the gate. "Bentley, I may not be able to open this here durned door."

"Of course you can," Bentley says, as Tennessee moves the camera around, focusing on everything from the guards to the bars keeping it closed to the four control panels with over a dozen switches each. "You just have to... I mean... if you could... but you have to open the door," Bentley says, sounding lost. "You have to open it. How else can I get in the basement and learn what's down there?"

"Well, tarnation, Bentley!" Tennessee moves the camera towards the officer's building. "The entrance is just inside there, if'n I recall Unca Thaddy right. I'll do the durned exploring!"

"But it was supposed to be my job," Bentley whines. "And—"

"And you can't get in. But I've got me your electro-gizmos if we need em, so let's get to it!" Tennessee claps his hands. "Where's this ol' entryway, anyway?"

"This is a terrible idea," Bentley mutters. "And I never gave you any of my so-called 'electro-gizmos'."

"You may have the right of it, Tennessee," cuts in Thaddeus. "There's a trapdoor in the entryway of the officer's quarters. I believe I have watched Bentley for long enough now to figure out how to put those floating markers out; allow me."

A few moments later, there are sixteen waypoints hovering roughly in the vicinity of the officer's building. Four are on the door, the rest clustered in a tight circle around it. Looks like Thaddeus doesn't quite know what he's doing, but it's enough for Tennessee to woop and go inside.

The trapdoor to the basement is a literal step inside the door. With the flash of a LOADING screen, Tennessee opens it and jumps inside.

Ya know, I'm not sure what I was expecting from a basement in an arctic compound run by criminals who make explosive statues, but this... actually fits the bill pretty well.

Tennessee stands on one side of a large... well, calling it a 'room' would imply that the far wall and floor is visible. He stands on a platform made of ice, suspended from the ceiling by ropes and chains; the machinery around seems to imply that, elsewhere in the compound, someone could press a button to turn the ice floor into an elevator. However, just within jumping distance are more ropes, perfect for rail sliding, amidst an obstacle course of lasers.

"Okay, Tennessee, if you're going to do this you need to approach everything with extreme caution—"

"Hoo-wee!" Tennessee calls, jumping on the nearest rope. "This's gonna be an adventure!"

And an adventure it is. Tennessee has to jump from rope to rope, sometimes sliding up the ropes, ducking and twisting in his efforts to avoid all the laser security. He skids to a stop (with a flip and a whoop) quite a ways away, out of sight of the 'elevator', on a small platform by a large, not-gonna-open-this door with a hole next to it. "Bentley, is this here why I need one'a your doodads?"

"Do you have one of my RC car's with you?"

"Sure enuff do," Tennessee says, and drops it on the ground. Bentley takes over, driving the car forward into the small hole... which goes directly through the door into the next room, and, well.

Previously, Bentley drove his RC car through an area where he could not possibly get lost. Now, though... this place is a large open room. On the far side of the room is a Big Red Button, just perfect for parking an RC Car on top of. Between the car and the button are five guards: two mostly sleeping and three patrolling. The room has a bit of cover: a table and some chairs scattered about, mostly, but getting from one to another will require timing and finesse.

Bentley is all about finesse. With a whir of the wheels and a little stopping and going, he's got that car parked on top of the button in almost no time at all. Of course, 'almost no time at all' still leaves time for him to complain: "If I was there, this wouldn't be necessary. I could've just rewired the elevator and gotten us right down—"

"Us?" Tennessee interrupts.

"With the way you're behaving, I doubt you'd have gone back to the safehouse, even after I sent you," Bentley grumbles. He parks the car as Tennessee laughs. "There. The door should be opening now."

And open it does. Tennessee steps in, staying by the wall so the guards don't see him. From his (slightly elevated) perspective, the room looks a little different. Still with the same number of guards, but with a closed door near the ceiling, a number of ropes, and a target.

A target not even Tennessee can reach without being on the ropes. But it's not like Tennessee's forgotten how to use his gun while railwalking and railsliding, right? Of course not. He climbs a support pole, hops from a couple lights to the nearest rope, and takes a single shot almost lazily.

The door remains closed, but the entire floor opens, dropping the guards and everything (except the button!) straight down. Laser security and spotlights gleam below, as well as more ropes stretching off into the distance. "Bentley," Tennessee says, "are you sure you would'a been able ta handle this?"

"Why even bother to ask? Just... keep going, since you're down there already," Bentley grumps.

Tennessee laughs, woops, and launches himself down and onto the ropes. It's another gauntlet of lasers and railsliding, but with a twist: gates. With switches by them. Have you been practicing your crackshot lately? I sure hope so, because we're in for a ride!

And because of the way the lasers and spotlights move, sometimes Tennessee has to railslide backwards while doing it. Which he does. Laughing all the while.

At last he reaches a stop, another landing. Above his head is a small hole in the wall. "It's'a'lookin like I'll be needin one a'yer doodads again, Bentley."

"Hmmm... probably the grapple-cam, given the height. All right, toss it out."

"There ain't no dang-durned trash can here!"

"Just throw it on the ground, Tennessee, I'll take it from there."

Ah, the wonderful grapple-cam. It's been a while since we've used this, hasn't it? Bentley sends out his grapples and pulls the thing through the hole in the wall and... well, this one may be a bit more complicated.

Rather than a room, Bentley finds himself exploring a long hallway. It has three corners and two doors: one, the one Tennessee is waiting at, and the other at the very far end. A lot of laser security keeps Bentley on his toes, much more than the guard standing bored by the far door. By the door nearest Tennessee is another large button, one that needs something heavier than a grapple-cam on it to work.

Bentley clears his throat and yells through the Grapple-Cam's speakers, "Do you know 1337-speak?"

The guard is dumbfounded. He's also not very smart, because he ambles off, following the voice. Just as Bentley wanted.

"Up your nose, with a rubber hose!" Bentley yells again, moving the grapple-cam, luring the guard on. "I'M YELLING AT YOU!" he shouts, continuing towards the button. "Dah Dit, Dit Dit Dah, Dah," he yells, which makes... absolutely no sense, but lures the guard onto the button at last.

"I'm glad I modified my binoc-u-com with sleep darts," Bentley mumbles. "I can press L1 to sedate the guard so he stays a while."

Good plan, Bentley. Let's do that.

With good aim and the press of a button, the guard is snoring, and both doors open. Tennessee skips in, past the guard, and all the way down the hallways. He's almost to the other door when Bentley says, "I think you're being annoying on purpose."

"Nothing doin, Bentley," Tennessee says, and stops in the doorway to survey the room.

Six ropes cross it, just close enough to be double-jumped between, angled so you can slide on the first from the left of the room to the right, and the second one from right to left, alternating. The top of each one is the same height; the bottoms all reach the floor. A single target lies dead center of the far wall.

Tennessee jumps onto one of the ropes and shoots it while sliding upwards.

An electronic voice purrs, "Instating test 6 of the base security measures." The door slams shut. The lights flicker, leaving him in semi-darkness. From eight directions fire slow-moving, oversized bullets, leaving behind spiraling red trails.

Tennessee shoots the bullets out of the air (it takes two shots per bullet) but more are fired, from different directions. "Hang in there, Tennessee," Bentley says. "I'll see if I can hack in and stop it."

"Would ya hurry it up?" Tennessee fires again, jumping between ropes as he goes.

"Haven't turned it off yet, but... looks like there are three layers of security. If you get through them all, it'll shut off. There should be a target soon; that'll get you to the next layer."

Sure enough, a target appears on another wall. Tennessee shoots it. Lasers flicker across the floor, a solid sheet forcing him to stay on the ropes. Now the walls shoot circles of electricity. If Tennessee shoots them, the middles clear, and he can jump through; they tail him, following him as he jumps from rope to rope, until he leaps through them and they vanish. This would be easy except that bullets are still coming, just like before, and every now and then Tennessee has to pull out his crackshot to take care of everything.

At last, another target appears on the wall, and Tennessee shoots it. There's a moment of silence, then the lasers go away, the lights flicker on, and the door opens. "Test three failed," the voice announces.

"Doesn't look like there's anywhere else for you to go, Tennessee," says Bentley. "Still, I've got data from that security test. Maybe I'll be able to trace it."

"Ah, shoot, I was lookin' forward to round three," Tennessee says, twirling his gun. "That was more fun than barrel riding down a river."

"Given that it's a new type of security, we may run into it again. But for now, come on back to the safehouse."

JOB COMPLETE

Tennessee spins his gun again, then grins, jumps on a rope, and shoots the target so he can do some more bullet dodging.