CBS Sunday Night Movies
by
John O'Connor
"I can't believe you talked me into watching this movie. I mean, it's still so overhyped and there are stupid ambiguities and outright nonsense all through it," Jade snarled during a commercial break. She never admitted to Tori that she was impressed by many aspects of the movie, not the least of which were the special effects. But it's still a stupid movie, she said quietly before going on.
"Like what?" Tori replied defensively. Although she had to admit Jade was considerate enough to wait for the commercial.
"First, this stupid love triangle. Why the hell did Cameron have to put all that crap into a story that's full of real life drama? Making up people to mix in the story when there were a lot of real people with real stories that were barely touched on or ignored completely. Look at the old movie A Night To Remember. A much better movie that was all based on oral histories of the sinking by real people. And they did it in less than two hours, not four and a half."
"That includes commercials..."
Jade snorted, "The bane of television. Hitchcock was right about TV ads."
"Okay, so they included a fake plot to advance the movie... It's not the first time," Tori argued.
"Nor the last. Pearl Harbor is another. That whole romantic triangle BS... Not to mention that goofy ass futuristic War Department set up. Remember Tora! Tora! Tora!? Like A Night To Remember, it got the whole story across without some soap opera. And a more realistic War Department office for translating the Japanese communiques. And tacking on the Doolittle Raid, while done in a very cool way, was a needless waste. Why not just do a remake of Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo? If I had a good enough home editing setup, I'd take the attack from Pearl and cut that into the story from Tora. Then delete the Doolittle Raid - or cut the cool effects into Thirty Seconds."
"That would be pretty cool but a little uneven," Tori agreed. "Not to mention Thirty Seconds is black and white."
"Of course it was. It was made during the war, in 1943, when there was still a good chance the Axis could win.
"Anyway, this..."
"Ssh. The commercial's over." This earned Tori a Jade-glare but the dark one relented with a huffy sigh.
The future brides were doing what people all over the world were doing - staying at home during the pandemic. Occasional trips, with face masks, to the nearby Ralph's, Trader Joe's and Walgreens for food and liquor; as well as video-chatting with their family and friends helped break the monotony. Tori especially missed her family ("Even Trina?!" Jade often asked.) and their friends. Jade did miss her mother but, as was her nature, never really said so.
When the weather was good, they often took long walks through the hills above their neighborhood. Being forced together for two months (and counting), the girls still loved each other and didn't argue any more than normal - which was a touch more than most couples but it was their thing and they actually enjoyed it. It helped that the apartment was large enough they could still do their own thing without bothering each other for hours on end. They did take advantage of the enforced isolation and sex was phenomenal. But they also took time to work on their various projects – Tori and her new album while Jade was rewriting another author's script for one of the studios while working on her first (hopefully) novel.
A few weeks before, CBS had started an old TV classic, CBS Sunday Night Movies with the classic Raiders Of The Lost Ark followed by Forest Gump a week later. This night was James Cameron's epic Titanic from 1997.
Jade mumbled, "I had to give up the end of The Sand Pebbles for this..."
Now Tori glared at Jade, "You got to see most of that and all of The Wings Of Eagles and Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo earlier."
"But Steve McQueen is still the King of Cool. Look at The Magnificent Seven, The Great Escape and, especially, Bullitt!"
"I let you watch Wanted Dead Or Alive yesterday. Both episodes. And TCM has The Great Escape on tomorrow..." TCM always showed a three-day marathon of war movies, from all eras, during Memorial Day weekend, June 6th and Veteran's Day.
"You like those old westerns on MeTV as much as I do. And I know Escape is on."
Tori shushed her to watch the movie.
After a few more commercial breaks...
"Okay, Smartass, explain to me why Jack isn't already freezing to death locked up in a flooding room on the ship. Is there some super water heater to warm up the ice-cold seawater as it enters the ship?"
"I don't know. Maybe adrenaline?"
Jade snorted derisively, "And, they get soaked several times before the ship goes down. But once they're in the open water, he's freezing to death. Was it wind chill? On a windless night?
"Speaking of flooding, when the electricity starts to go and the scenes are lit by the arc light of electrical failure, why isn't the water suddenly conductive and electrocute them? Especially since it's salt water?"
"Maybe 'cause it's cold? I don't know! I'm not Doctor Wizard!" Tori replied.
Jade laughed, "It's Mister Wizard, Catherine Obvious!"
"Well...he could be a doctor..." Tori countered, weakly.
Several commercial breaks, which Jade let slide, and the ship was going down rapidly.
When First Office Murdoch shot the Third Class passenger then himself, Jade threw up her arms. "That is patently ridiculous! There were gunshots as the officers fired into the air to calm the mob but no survivor reported anyone shot much less a suicide. No wonder Murdoch's descendants were so pissed of at Cameron and Paramount."
Later, after the stern breaks away and Leonardo DeCaprio and Kate Winslett are in the water trying to survive, Jade spoke up (before the commercial break), "Now the water is cold!"
At the end, Jade scoffed, "She had one of the most valuable gems ever for over eighty years but only throws it into the sea above the wreck?
"And who the hell would take a 100-year-old woman to a research ship in the middle of the Atlantic?"
"To solve the mystery..."
"Alright, Vega, I'll give you that. But only in the logic of Hollywood."
Tori beamed. She won one!
"Before you get complacent, I have one more, huge complaint!"
Exasperated, Tori asked, "What?!"
"Cameron spent all that money to build most of a full-size replica of the ship, recreate White Star Lines china and cutlery, using actual buttons and such, made before the Titanic launched, for costumes and generally went well out of his way to make sure the period touches were accurate," Jade stated.
Tori was wary, "And...?"
"And this is my biggest gripe about the entire movie! The Californian, a British freighter, had stopped only about ten or twenty miles north of the Titanic, because of the ice field, but had shut down the wireless before the Titanic started transmitting. They ignore the rockets, thinking there was a celebration on the distant liner. And, as the lights disappeared, the bridge crew decided the mystery ship has sailed over the horizon.
"If they had checked the wireless, the Californian could've been there in time to save a lot, if not all, the passengers and crew.
"But, Cameron decided this messed with his narrative and discarded the few scenes he shot! Messed with the narrative?! It emphasizes the tragedy, for God's sake! This ship was so close but ignored what was going on... All those people died because of inactivity on a nearby shop.
"But...it didn't help his narrative!" The last had a heavy dose of sarcasm.
"I...didn't realize that," Tori admitted. She had watched A Night To Remember a month or so before with Jade and that movie did include the Californian issue which was brought up during both the British and American inquiries into the disaster in 1912 and 1913. She had forgotten that aspect.
"Well, at least next Sunday we get the next best Indiana Jones movie."
"I love the Last Crusade!" Tori announced.
"Tori, your parents raised you right. That's why you appreciate all the real classics. That and my sterling influence."
Tori leaned over and kissed Jade lovingly. "Thank you, sweetie."
"Here's a bit of trivia..." Jade said, after making out with Tori until the weather came on the late news.
"Remember Dunkirk a couple of years ago? Chris Nolan's movie?"
"Yeah, that was so good..."
"The scenes of the civilian boats heading for France focused on a single boat. That was inspired by Charles Lightoller.
"RMS Titanic's Second Officer Lightoller served in the Royal Navy in the First World War and later was part of the massive civilian and military effort to save the troops at Dunkirk, France in 1940. He, his son Roger and a sea scout took his boat and saved roughly one hundred and thirty survivors alone before the Germans moved to the coast. The yacht is still preserved at the Ramsgate Maritime Museum.
"Also, Tuesday will mark the eightieth anniversary of the Dunkirk Evacuation."
"Fitting considering tomorrow is Memorial Day. Even if it's an American holiday," Tori said.
"Agreed." Jade paused, "I gotta go out tomorrow to get some scotch."
"I know. You always toast your late great-uncle on Memorial Day and Veteran's Day."
"And Uncle Jim never made it to being a veteran. The Battle of Leyte Gulf and a damned kamikaze hit the USS St Lo in the ammunition magazine, destroying the carrier."
Tori placed a hand gently on Jade's shoulder. Even though her fiancé never knew the man, she loved him nonetheless.
"Did I ever tell you about Uncle Jim's love of the old horror movies?"
Tori smiled and settled back to hear one of Jade's favorite family histories again.