What if? The crew survived the leak Chapter 6: Polymorph part 2, a red dwarf fanfic

Red Dwarf: What if the crew survived?

Authors notes: The idea is a collection of stories based on episodes, based on the idea of the whole red dwarf crew surviving. I know Rimmer and Lister are acting out of character, I'm having trouble capturing the mannerisms of Lister and Rimmer. And I know I've changed Kryten a bit.

Chapter 6: Polymorph Part Two

J.M.C mining ship Red Dwarf, location: Deep space.

Bridge anouncement: First officer Todhunter

This is an emergency alert from Commander Frank Todhunter, unknown G.E.L.F. has infiltrated the ship. We've been able to communicate with the trader Gelf's on the planet, they have identified the life form as a a mimetic predator they call an Emovore or a polymorph. Our new backup computer system Hilly has theorised that if we are able to destroy the polymorph, any emotions removed will be returned to the host. Their's been two attacks, Technician Dave Lister has apparently lost his fear and is being medicated for his own safety and Captain Holister has lost his pride. We were able to attack the beast as it attempted to attack Cat Dibley, thankfully we were able to repel it, but the attack has left Dibley in a state of shock. All personal are to be on alert.

End broadcast

Rimmer entered into the crew quarters he shared with Lister and Cat, something was unnerving him and it wasn't the psychotic life form stalking the ship. What was this feeling?

"It's too quiet." he realised, "Lister and Cat aren't here. Well, I might get some sleep without Lister snoring and Cat's sleep walking.

After three hours of trying to sleep, he came to a realisation. He was actually missing his bunkmates, a 30 something man child and a humanoid feline with a ton of curiosity and a short attention span.

"Holly?" Rimmer asked.

"Holly's still offline Arnold." Hilly's voice replied, before her face appeared on the screen, "Can I help you?"

"I was just wondering how Lister and Cat are doing. Do you have any information?" Rimmer asked

"David is still recovering, but Cat was released and will be back with you in a few minutes." Hilly said

"Thank you Hilly." Rimmer replied, "Wait a moment, how is Holly offline? We repaired him with some of your spare parts and restarted him hours ago."

"I meant he's busy." Hilly replied, looking shifty.

"Holly, come here please." Rimmer said. The image of Holly appeared, looking rather sheepish at Rimmer. Rimmer took a closer look at him, before folding his arms and smirking, "Holly, just when did you start wearing lipstick the same shade as Hilly?"

"I'm what, oh bugger." Holly said, before sinking downwards out of view. Rimmer laughed.

"You two hit it off then I see?" Rimmer said.

"He's quite charming actually, and based on the greatest and most prolific lover who ever lived." Hilly said

"Okay, I think you two should go off and do whatever you were doing when I interrupted you." Rimmer said. The face of Hilly vanished and Rimmer lay back in his bunk chuckling to himself. Cat walked into the room a moment later.

"What's got you snickering like that?" Cat asked

"Hilly and Holly, they're in love with each other." Rimmer said and then pondered, "I suppose it's cybersex?"

"Since when did you get the dirty mind?" Cat asked.

"Never mind that, how are you Dibley?" Rimmer asked.

"I'm fine Rimmer, but what happened to Dormouse?" Cat asked

"He's in stasis in the lab, he became reckless and violent without fear." Rimmer said.

"This is Acting Captain Todhunter, polymorph neutralised." The tannoy said, "No more GELF signals detected."

"Alls well that ends well dudes." Holly's voice said, "If you need me, tough. I'm going to be with Hilly for a bit."

"Go get em tiger." Cat said chuckling.

It's cold outside, their's not kind of atmosphere

I'm all alone, more or less.

Let me fly, far away from here. Fun fun fun, in the sun sun sun.

I want to lie, shipwrecked and comatose, drinking fresh Mango juice.

Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes.

Fun fun fun, in the sun sun sun