Omake File/Bonus
Written in bold are excerpts from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and italics are excerpts from Wizards Lack Common Sense Part 1.
Chapter Four Omake:
"I'd take you on anytime on my own," said Malfoy. "Tonight, if you want. Wizard's duel. Wands only – no contact. What's the matter? Never heard of a wizard's duel before, I suppose?"
"Of course he has," said Ron, wheeling around. "I'm his second, who's yours?"
Malfoy looked at Crabbe and Goyle, sizing them up.
"Crabbe," he said. "Midnight all right? We'll meet you in the trophy room; that's always unlocked."
"Of course you would suggest midnight," Harry muttered. "Can't get any more cliche than that, can it?"
Chapter Five Omake:
Hermione's lip trembled, and she suddenly dashed at Harry and threw her arms around him.
"Hermione!"
"Harry - you're a great wizard, you know."
"Thanks. You are quite good-looking yourself. Be my girlfriend?"
"Uh huh. Harry Potter asking me out? I would be a fool not to."
"What are we doing here anyway?"
"I don't know. Something about stones. . . . I don't think it was very important."
Chapter Seven Omake 1:
Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes - yes you're right of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.
"Hagrid's bringing him."
"Of course," McGonagall said sarcastically, "the best choice for rescuing babies from destroyed houses are uneducated individuals who don't even know how to blend in with the Muggle World."
Chapter Seven Omake 2:
"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"
"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir."
"Where did you meet Sirius Black?"
"Near the house, Professor McGonagall."
"He was there to do what exactly?"
"I don' kno'."
"So. . . . You just left a suspect near the crime scene?"
"When yeh put it tha' way, Professor -"
"Sweet Merlin!"
Chapter Twelve Omake 1:
"Oh, sorry," said the other sounding not sorry at all. "But they were our kind, weren't they?"
Harry snapped, "They were humans and that's all you need to know."
The boy sneered at him, "I hate your kind. The Dark Lord had the right idea, exterminating the filth -"
"You know what? I hate your kind, too," Harry punched him in the face. "I feel that your kind deserves that. Deal with it."
From that day on, Malfoy never sneered at anyone. Not through lack of trying; but his nose was never quite the same again.
Chapter Twelve Omake 2:
"Ah, that was Malfoy. Nasty people, those are. Blimey, bad luck for you to meet him on your first day! You shouldn't be worryin' about this stuff, 'arry . . . Jus' enjoy school, and leave them snakes to the grown-ups to handle. . ."
"Snakes? I don't think you mentioned snake-charming as one of the subjects taught at Hogwarts! I like them, they are quite witty sometimes."
Hagrid chortled, "Not real snakes, Harry."
Chapter Twelve Omake 3:
"Isn't Dumbledore the one who kept me with the Dursleys?"
"Yes."
"Then he's a manipulative old meddlesome bastard. I'll call him Dumbles now."
"Where did yeh learn such words?"
Harry rolled his eyes, "I read Dumbledore-bashing fanfiction, it's all the rage nowadays."
"F'n'fictio'?"
"A bit heavy on the apostrophes today, huh?"
Chapter Thirteen Omake:
Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him. Who would? He had no friends, no other relatives - he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back. Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly that -
Dumbledore listened to the device in his office. He rubbed his hands together; this was the moment.
Every single teacher at Hogwarts was patiently waiting for Harry Potter to say something.
"What the fresh hell is this?" A boy's voice exclaimed. "Wizardry? What a load of tosh."
The boy then proceeded to use words that would make a sailor blush.
"Dumbledore!" McGonagall screamed.
"I can explain."
"I don't think so! Didn't I tell you they were the worst sort of Muggles?"
"You might have mentioned it."
"Dumbledore!"
Chapter Fourteen Omake 1:
Harry quickly stashed a good amount of gold in a bag. He asked the goblin, "How can I get spendable money in the Muggle world? Because I'm sure shops don't accept Galleons or Sickles."
"We have an exchange counter for currencies back in the main building. We trade in all sorts, including any Muggle currency you might care to have."
"What's the exchange rate for gold to silver in the Muggle World?"
"I would say one gram of gold to a hundred grams of silver."
Harry had a gleam in his eye that the goblin did not like.
A few days later, Griphook the goblin was summoned by his superior for a 'talk'.
"Griphook, what did you tell Harry Potter?"
"Nothing much. He just asked for the exchange rate of gold to silver in the Muggle World."
"So I would be right in saying that you have nothing to do with the price of the Sickle dropping?"
"Uh - yes, of course."
"Don't lie!"
"The boy might have asked me where he could convert silver to Sickles."
"And?"
"I charged him a truly outrageous fee of 10% of the silver as making charges on behalf of Gringotts. He just laughed it off."
"How much was your personal bribe, Griphook?"
Griphook didn't reply.
"That much? The boy didn't even blink twice, did he?"
Griphook nodded.
"If the director had just listened to me and opened an economics book, he would have realised that exchange rates must be the same in both worlds or we'll find ourselves bankrupt. That day, he just said 'we must observe tradition and keep seventeen Sickles to the Galleon' and went back to reclining on his throne."
"Right now, the Galleon stands at one hundred and fifty Sickles. Sickles ain't worth anything now."
"Bully for the director. This problem is way above my pay grade."
Chapter Fifteen Omake:
"Potter!" said Snape suddenly. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"
"I don't know, sir," said Harry.
Snape's lips curled into a sneer.
"Tut, tut - fame clearly isn't everything."
"You are just jealous," Harry said. "I mean, if I had the hair you have, I would probably go bald with shame."
"Just like your father - arrogant and -"
"Devilishly handsome." Harry finished.
Harry winked and the girls swooned.
"WHAT SORT OF DARK MAGIC ARE YOU DOING TO THEM?"
"It is probably beyond your understanding. I will try my best to explain - you see, Professor, when a witch and wizard meet -"
Snape fainted.
"So who wants me to teach Potions?"
Every single person cheered.
Chapter Nineteen Omake:
In a low whisper, Harry told them what he'd seen.
"You know what this means?" He finished breathlessly.
"That Professor Snape is a badass?" Hermione said dreamily. "I mean, he's just so adventurous and -"
Ron and Harry chose to ignore her for the sake of their own sanity.
Chapter Twenty Three Omake:
"Not to worry," she said. "All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important."
Harry and Ron ran towards the barrier. Ron went right through, but Harry bounced off.
Molly sighed, "I'll never understand why Harry can't just not be scared of crashing into it. It's quite simple, really - if you think you are going to crash it, you are going to crash it. If you believe the barrier isn't solid, it isn't solid."
She propped Harry up against the barrier, fixed his injuries, arranged his luggage properly and -
"Obliviate!"
Harry's eyes went unfocused.
Ron came back through the barrier. "I'm guessing he crashed into it again?"
"Yes," She replied.
"Awww," Ron said.
When they were all in position again, Molly woke Harry up.
"Not to worry," she said. "All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important."
"Huh? Oh right. The platform. Yes," Harry said.
Harry started walking around aimlessly, muttering nonsensical things.
"Oh, dear. I think all the Memory Charms have gone to his head."
AN: I hope you enjoyed the bonus chapters. Farewell, WLCS 1!