A few hours of sleep found her until Danny woke Sam up. She made her way up to the bridge. The boat didn't need much to keep its course. Sam only had to monitor for any issues with the control system. She slouched in the chair, watching the sun glint on the ocean that stretched around them. All was quiet. Just a few hours until they made it home.
The marina was busier in their return. Leisure yachts and personal boats coming and going in the evening rush. Maya guided them expertly as Sam and Danny helped her mind the sides of the large boat and get it tethered. A job that needed at least another person, but they made it work.
Sam's phone dinged with various missed calls, voicemails, and texts. Three missed calls from Kara, all with voicemails. Two from Lucy. No voicemails. One call from her mother with a voicemail. And a string of texts.
-Call me back Sam. It's important (Kara)
-Has Alex called you? She's not responding to me but call me back! (K)
-Lucy said you're working. As soon as you have service call me! (K)
That didn't sit well with Sam. Maya gave her a questioning look as Sam stopped, looking at her phone. She waved Maya off then asked her to see to the family. Next, Sam clicked on Lucy's text thread.
-Text me when you get in, babe. I talked with Kara. Just come home before you call her or your mom. (L)
-Or listen to the voicemails. I think its better if you hear it from me. I know that is probably stressing you out. Just trust me. I love you. (L)
Even more worrisome than Kara's texts. Sam was tempted to check the voicemails. Instead, Sam hit call. In just a few rings, Lucy picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey," Sam said. Her breath was having a hard time making its way out. "Is everything alright? What happened?"
"Just come home, okay? Ask Danny or Maya to finish up for you. I'll explain everything when you get here."
Sam scoffed. None of this was making sense and a pit dropped into her stomach, sending a flare up her spine. "Lucy, what's going on?"
"Just come home, Sam. I promise I'll explain. Just come home."
"Alright," Sam clipped out. She was getting frustrated and scared. Her intuition firing off the charts that something was not right. "I'll see you soon."
"I love you."
"Yea, love you too. Bye."
The call ended. Sam stared at her phone screen. Even more tempted to check her messages. Instead, she ran a hand down her face and turned to find her crew. She didn't have to look far. They were standing, watching her. Clearly it was written on her face.
Maya looked serious while Danny stayed quiet for once. Maya said, "What is it?"
"I don't know," Sam shrugged. "Lucy told me to come home. She'll tell me then. Can you guys handle the rendezvous?"
"Of course. Go figure things out," Maya said. She turned to address the family who was waiting patiently, if not nervously, further down the dock.
Danny took Sam's shoulder and shook it a bit. He gave her a sad smile. "Good luck with whatever it is. We'll take care of everything here."
"Thanks," Sam muttered. She shouldered her pack and walked briskly to her truck. Without slowing, she tossed the pack into the bed and climbed in.
The whole way home her mind whirled with possibilities while the pit in her stomach expanded. Too much happened with her family. Too much of it bad. The chances of this being good news, especially with how Lucy was handling Sam with kid gloves, was almost nonexistent.
As the garage door lifted, Sam shook her knee. It stopped as she saw Lucy standing in the door to the house, waiting for her. Definitely bad news then. Sam pulled slowly in, putting the truck in part. Bad news was the only explanation for the soft, sad edges of Lucy's smile or the compassion in her eyes.
Sam swallowed, sitting back in her seat and taking a moment. Lucy didn't rush her. They looked at each other a moment. Then, Sam forced herself out of the truck. She didn't bother getting her pack. Didn't even think about it.
"What?" Sam asked.
Lucy held her hand out. Sam took it and let herself be pulled into the house. There was no answer as Lucy led her to the living room. Once they were seated on the couch, Lucy brought their joined hands up and kissed Sam's. Sam felt her throat tighten in anticipation. Lucy was scaring her.
"Kara called me when she couldn't get ahold of you. Your mom too," Lucy started. Her hands squeezed Sam's. Her brows came together and she hesitated. Then, "Your dad died, Sam."
A wall of…nothing hit Sam. She blinked at Lucy. It wasn't what she thought she was going to say. A haze of thoughtlessness engulfed Sam. She didn't react. Emotions didn't bubble to the surface like she thought they would when she heard this news. Because she did know that eventually this would be the news she heard about her father.
"Sam?"
"Yea," she answered. Sam cleared her throat. The words having come out raspy.
Lucy moved her hands to Sam's shoulders then up along her neck to frame her face. Lucy ducked to catch Sam's eye. Sam looked at her with another blink. "I'm so sorry."
Sam nodded as Lucy pulled her into a hug. She let Lucy hold her. Sam's hands loosely wrapping around Lucy's waist. The haze wouldn't relent. It was an odd mix of nothing and the knowledge that Sam should be reacting. Crying, yelling. Anything. Except all she could think was nothing.
When Lucy moved back, she brushed back the side of Sam's hair, smoothing back some of the loose hairs from her ponytail. "What do you need?"
"I'm hungry. Can we eat?"
The response seemed to surprise Lucy. She nodded with worry in her eyes. Sam sat at the island while Lucy made a quick dinner. Pasta with bread. Lucy pulled out a bottle of wine and looked at Sam with a question in her eyes. Sam nodded so Lucy poured them each a glass.
Dinner was eaten mostly in silence. Sam still couldn't find her way out of the haze. She managed to ask Lucy about her day but listened and responded with little energy. Lucy didn't push her.
When Lucy cleared the plates, Sam ran a hand down her face then back up to rest her hand over her eyes. She was tired. The mission and the news pressing down on her in a way that nothing had since leaving National City.
Lucy's hands drifted lightly up and down Sam's biceps. Her voice soft as she leaned into Sam's back to say near her ear, "Why don't you go shower? We'll go to bed early tonight."
A blissful idea. Sam nodded, letting Lucy pull her up from her seat. Lucy gave her a gentle kiss before walking to their room. Sam followed, stripping her dirty clothes once there. The shower did little for her mind but washed away the grime of the sea and Puerto Rican jungle.
She climbed into bed after brushing her teeth. Lucy still stood at the counter, going through her skin care routine. The light giving their dark room a muted golden glow from the bathroom light. Sam stared at the ceiling. She willed herself to feel. Mostly she was still numb. Almost like the shock at the news dulled her. She knew that mourning and sadness were there. Sam just couldn't really feel them. Anger too. Her chest felt the hot, murky expanse of anger. Her mind couldn't process it yet.
"Should you call your family?" Lucy asked as she climbed into bed with Sam.
"I will tomorrow," Sam answered. She rolled and snuggled into Lucy's waiting arms. Her head pillowed on Lucy's chest. She looked out the doors to the ocean. The crashing of waves swirling into the numbing haze of her thoughts.
Sam didn't fall asleep for a long time. Lucy stayed awake with her, silently holding her, for a while. But soon enough, Lucy's breathing evened into sleep. It was enough to lull Sam into an uneasy sleep herself.
The morning sun was bright and pierced through the thin curtains over the French doors of their room that led out to the deck attached to their room. Sam groaned and rolled over. Lucy rolled with her, nuzzling into Sam's back. After a few minutes, when Sam knew she wouldn't be falling back to sleep, she got up.
Quiet pervaded the house. The wind off the ocean and the waves were the only sounds. Sam made coffee for Lucy and a mug of tea for herself. She placed the coffee on Lucy's bedside table then walked out onto their deck. The tea was close to scalding as she sipped it. Her eyes gazing out at the ocean, half zoning out. Half willing herself feel something.
"Thank you for the coffee," Lucy said as she joined Sam. She sat with her back to the arm of their patio loveseat, looking out at the ocean as well.
"Welcome," Sam mumbled.
"How'd you sleep?"
Sam sighed. She shrugged. "Fine, I guess. It took me a while."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Lucy asked, now looking at Sam who was still focused out on the ocean. The horizon a smudge of blue, yellow, pink, and white as the day began to wipe away the painting of sunrise.
"I don't know," Sam said honestly. "I don't know how to feel about it. I mean, the last time I really spent any time with my dad wasn't exactly your typical father-daughter moment, you know?" Lucy nodded. She didn't say anything. Part of Sam knew Lucy had a kind of understanding. Her and her father didn't have the best of relationships, but it was nothing like Sam's situation. Nothing was like Sam's situation. It was part of the problem.
"I need to call my mom and Kara back," Sam went on. "Probably try Alex too. She didn't call or text. I can only guess how she's taking this. Did Kara say anything?"
"Just that Alex wasn't responding, let her know if Alex reached out to either of us."
Sam nodded. "That's what I figured." She placed her empty mug down on the table in front of them, using the movement to lean her elbows on her knees, head in hands. With a long exhale. Lucy rubbed a hand up and down her back.
It would be easy to stay like that. Ignore all the things Sam was going to have to do now. Old Sam would have. Actually, old Sam would have lashed out at Lucy, stormed out, and never looked back as she headed to a bar to get blackout drunk and probably in a fight. With a hard chuckle, Sam sat up.
"What?" Lucy asked, eyeing her.
"Just thinking about how things have changed. How I've changed."
"I can't say I haven't thought about that either. Don't get mad, okay?" Lucy waited to go on until Sam nodded. "Kara asked me if I wanted her to come so she could help with the fall out after I told you. Obviously, I told her it wasn't needed. I'm glad I was right."
"Me too," Sam said. A little tiny part of her was annoyed but more than anything, that was a conversation both of them had a right to have. It's not like Sam was so far removed from storming off in a blaze of anger and cutting words.
Lucy's fingers reached out and softly drew along Sam's jaw to get her to turn. Then she leaned in to kiss Sam. Soft and supportive and everything Sam needed. When she pulled back, enough to look Sam in the eyes, Lucy said, "Go call your family. I'll be here when you're done."
Sam paced their living room. It gave her some space from Lucy, who was still sitting out on the deck from their room. Sam wasn't sure how the calls would go. She loved Lucy more than anything but she still wasn't comfortable with the flat out vulnerability that might be pulled from her by these calls.
The first person she tried was a risk. The chances of Alex picking up were minimal but if she did…If she did, well Sam was in for a hell of an uncomfortable conversation.
But she didn't.
"You've reached Alex Danvers. Leave a message with your info and I'll call you back at my earliest convenience."
Sam took a deep breath before the beep. "Hey Alex. It's Sam. I, uh… I heard. About dad I mean. So I was just giving you a call to, um, talk I guess. I don't know. I know you're probably hurting so call me back if you want. Love you, Al."
Never before had Sam been so relieved to hang up the phone. And she had some tense phone calls in her past. She blew out another breath, letting her lips flap with it in frustration. This was beyond her. Comfort was not something Sam was good at.
A text buzzed Sam's phone. She flipped the screen to her in a hurry, thinking maybe it was Alex. It wasn't. Instead it was someone she was surprised to hear from.
-I heard about your dad. Sorry kid. Here if you need anything (Maggie)
A spark of hope seared through Sam's haze. Maybe Alex had reached out to Maggie. How else would she hear?
Instead of responding, Sam backed out of the message and down to Kara's thread. She hit the call button. It didn't go to voicemail like Alex's. In fact, Kara picked up on the second ring.
"Sam! Hi. Are you okay? Did Lucy tell you?"
"Hey Kara. Yea, she told me. How are you doing?"
Sam could almost see the shrug, downcast puppy eyes, and fidgeting fingers as Kara answered her. "I'm okay. Sad of course. Mostly worried about you and Alex. Have you talked to mom yet?"
"No," Sam said. "I tried Alex first. Lucy said you hadn't heard from her. She didn't pick up and now you. I'll call mom next. Don't worry. How's she doing?"
"As expected. She's sad. Really sad but I think she expected this to be honest. It's kind of like a sad acceptance."
"Can't say I disagree. Do you know what happened?"
"Well," Kara paused. Hesitated really. Sam could feel her weighing options.
"Kara, whatever it is, I'll find out eventually. Just tell me."
"Okay, well he got out. Somehow. That's really all we know right now. Maybe we'll get more details. Alex knows but she's clammed up."
The air whooshed out of Sam. She sat down heavy in one of their armchairs. He got out? Her heart clenched painfully at the thought. It was short lived. Anger raged into its place.
"So dad got out? He got away from Cadmus, and what? He just didn't think to tell us," Sam bit out. Pain and anger were clear in her voice.
"Sam, come on. We don't know what happened."
"Sure, we do, Kara. He got out and the only thing he thought of was himself. Just like last time. Just like always." Sam scoffed. Anger was quickly the only thing she could feel.
"I won't fight you on this. Not today. I don't agree but you can think whatever you want, Sam." Kara paused. Sam closed her eyes and forced herself to breath slowly to get control. "Will you come home for the funeral? I don't know what I'm going to do about Alex. I really need you here."
"Of course. Of course, Kara. I'll catch the soonest flight I can. When is it?"
"A couple days. Eliza is taking care of everything. She doesn't want any help. I already offered. Just you being here would be great, Sam. Really."
"I'll be there. I should probably go though. Call mom then look into flights. I'll send you the info once I have a flight."
"Okay, Sam. I—"
"Oh wait." Sam said. "Sorry, and I don't know if you'll know since you haven't heard from here but I got a text from Maggie. Did Alex tell her?"
"No," Kara said. Sam tried not to feel disappointed. "I did though. I texted Maggie to see if she heard from Alex. She hadn't. It was a long shot but I was trying everything. Even Kelly hasn't heard from her."
"Got it," Sam said, trying not to let her displeasure show. It wasn't successful.
"Sam," Kara sighed. "I know you and Maggie were close but Alex's relationships are her business. We don't get a say. If she's happy then we should be too."
"I didn't say anything!"
"Keep it that way please. That is the last thing we need right now. You know how Alex is. She'll go off since she's already hurting. You know she will."
"Alright, I know. Got it," Sam mumbled.
"Call Eliza and let me know about your flight. Love you, Sam."
"Love you too. Bye."
So Alex was still with Kelly. Sam had been hoping that was just a rebound. That it would have fizzled by now. From everything she'd been told, Sam wasn't convinced they were so great for each other. Maggie and Sam's love for her aside, it just didn't seem like they matched.
With another sigh, Sam seemed to have no shortage of air to waste today, she dialed her mother. She smiled as her mom's comforting voice drifted through in greeting.
"Samantha, sweetheart. I was getting worried. Are you okay?"
"Hey mom. I'm fine. I just got back late last night. I'm sorry about dad. How are you?"
There was a pause over the line. Sam didn't rush to fill it. No matter her own feelings, she couldn't fathom how her mom was feeling. Just the thought of losing Lucy could destroy Sam. The reality had to be crushing.
"I'm okay. Better than when I first heard. I shouldn't be surprised but I did hold out just a little bit of hope that he would manage to make his way back to us. It was foolish, I know, but I couldn't help it."
"It's not foolish, mom. I think everyone hoped that a little." Not that Sam really did but her mom didn't need that truth. A half lie would be more comforting. Because in full truth, Sam didn't know what she had hoped for. Did her best not to think about it actually.
"Are you coming home? The funeral is in two days. I told Kara but Alex isn't responding. I got one text from her when she found out but nothing since. I'm worried."
"I tried Alex too. No luck. She'll come around. You know she will. I did talk to Kara and I'm coming. When we're done I'll look for a flight out. Today if I can."
"Good dear. It would be nice to see you, even despite the circumstances. Maybe more so because of circumstances."
"I know, mom. I wouldn't leave you guys alone to deal with this."
Surprisingly, Sam meant every word. It was dawning on her that this funeral wasn't about her. She was too numb but her family wasn't. It was clear in Kara's voice, her mom's, and in Alex's disappearance how much this was breaking them.
"I'll let you go to find a flight then, Samantha. I'll see you when you get here for the funeral."
"Alright, mom. Bye. Love you."
"Love you too, dear."
The calls were draining. Sam sat back, thinking about everything Kara told her and how her mom was coping. This might be the hardest trip back home Sam ever made. Might ever make. She pushed herself out and went to find Lucy, who she was sure was curious yet trying to give Sam space.
She found Lucy still on the deck, sunglasses pushed onto her head and phone in hand. Her brows were pushed together in concentration with a slight purse to her lips. A telltale sign of a work complication.
"Everything okay?" Sam asked.
Lucy looked up with a sharp movement. Obviously, Sam startled her. She held a hand out for Sam to take. She did. Lucy said, "Fine. The Mueller case again. I should be asking you that question though. How were the calls?"
"My mom is okay. Kara said it best. Like a sad acceptance of it. I feel bad for her though. I can't imagine. I don't want to," Sam said as she squeezed Lucy's hand in hers. Lucy responded by folding her other hand around Sam's and bringing it up to kiss her knuckles.
"And Kara?"
"I think she's more worried about everyone else. She texted Maggie because Alex won't respond to her." Lucy's eyebrows rose. "Yea, I know. Maggie texted me. I can't lie. I was hoping Alex had told Maggie, not Kara."
"You can't meddle, Sam. They broke up for a reason. Besides, Alex has a new girlfriend. You don't want to be the reason it fails," Lucy said. She laughed as Sam made a show of thinking about if that was what she wanted. "And besides, this is not the time to do that. Not with…you know. Your dad."
"I'm gonna go," Sam said. "To the funeral. I need to look at flights. It is in two days."
"I'll go too."
Sam shook her head. "No, you can't. Your case is almost closed right? You can't miss that. This guy has been running you around for a year, Lucy. I'm not going to be the reason you miss out on the finish line."
"But if you need me more though," Lucy said soft with a hand brushing along Sam's cheek. Her concern was so blatant that it hurt Sam's heart. Lucy was so worried about her, but all Sam could muster was a worry for her family. She still felt nothing but vague anger at her father's death. Briefly she wondered what was wrong with her.
"I always need you." Sam smiled, hoping to take some edge off her next words. "But I don't need you to come home. Not this time. I'm fine and your firm needs you to finish this. You've worked too hard."
"You're sure?" Lucy was not convinced. Sam nodded and Lucy gave a skeptical acceptance. "Okay then but I'm driving you to the airport at the very least."
"Fair enough." Sam said, then because she knew it would lift some of Lucy's tension, "But an Uber would be just as well. Honestly."
Lucy gave Sam a playful shove as they got up. Sam jumped back into bed, phone in hand to search flights. Lucy kept walking into the bathroom. She called back out, leaning close to the mirror, "I took the morning off. I'll have to do a little bit later, but I can take the whole day if your flight is later."
"Alright," Sam called back.
The morning passed in slow quiet. Sam found a flight in the early afternoon. It would get her into National City late, but it was the best she could do. The drive to the airport was short. Not much traffic at midday in the middle of the week. Lucy kept a tight hold on Sam's hand the whole way.
As Sam straightened, tossing her duffle over a shoulder, Lucy climbed out. She pulled Sam into a tight hug, not letting go. Sam kept one arm around Lucy's middle and the other hand on her bag strap.
"You promise you're okay going on your own?"
"I'll be okay, Lucy. This is more for my sisters and mom. Not my dad. He…," Sam trailed off trying to think of the best way to put it. "I've done my mourning. Back when everything happened. That's when I lost him. Not now. I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."
"You know that won't stop me."
"I know," Sam smiled as she kissed Lucy. "I'll text you when I land."
She kissed her again. Another time too. When Sam tried to untangle herself, Lucy held tight making Sam laugh. The sound seemed to put Lucy more at ease. She kissed Sam and let go.
"Have a safe flight."
"I will," Sam said, looking over her shoulder as Lucy watched her go.
After another glance back, seeing Lucy still standing on the sidewalk, Sam faced the bustling airport. It was going to be a long day of travel. She pulled her shoulders back and one cracked satisfyingly. Then, she ducked into the airport traffic to catch her flight.