Chapter Twenty

Violet shifted her weight uncomfortably on her bench seat. All was quiet, save for the hiss of steam she could hear out on the relatively dim platform. The cool night air rushed in through her slightly opened window as the steam engine's whistle blew long and loud through the night.

Violet was finally going home after her three month stint tutoring Amy. She figured she was probably halfway home already in fact, and already she could tell winter would probably be in full swing in Leiden. Part of her almost wished she could have stayed longer. The reprieve from her stress had been incredible. Being able to focus on Amy's problems instead of her own had been far more of a comfort than Violet could have ever imagined.

Amy had been far more of a comfort than she could predict as well…

She'd grown quite attached to her new friend in the past three months and now it was more than likely that their paths would never cross again. It hurt. She could feel the weight in her chest and her eyes felt so full they might burst. It wasn't quite the same as heartbreak though, she'd decided that much. It was different to how she felt about Major Gilbert, and even more different than it had felt leaving Trevor behind for three months.

Trevor.

God she hoped he was okay. She had been letting the distractions of Amy's daily life keep her attention off of Trevor. It kept her from constantly worrying about him all of the time. Wondering if he was hurt, or if he would even tell her if he was. He'd sent her letters as much as he could while she was away but the school's policy on outside interaction was very strict. Violet hadn't even really been allowed to leave the grounds, even though she wasn't actually a student.

She appreciated the effort but every time a letter did work it's way into her shared dorm with Amy the worries would come back. Her hands would shake as she would open each of them, wondering how bad the news would be.

But the news hadn't ever been bad and that made her worry even more. There was just no way that all of Trevor's problems would be solved by Violet going away…was there? His father couldn't actually hate the idea of him spending time with a woman that much could he?

Maybe it wasn't just any woman. Maybe he hated Violet specifically. Maybe he hated soldiers, hated the military for taking Allen away from him?

Violet shook her head violently. This was what she'd been keeping locked up for three months. Now that she was stuck on this train, alone in the silence, the voices were coming back. It had been a nice change of pace but she needed to deal with these problems. She couldn't just keep pretending like they didn't exist. She just wished the voices could take turns, slow down and let her think, instead of flooding her mind all at once. It all seemed so overwhelming to her. She'd never had problems to deal with before her new life had begun.

Good soldiers follow orders, and Violet always had. Right up until the Major had ordered her to leave and she'd chosen to stay.

Violet rested her head back against her seat and tilted her head toward the window. She watched the stars out in the night sky sliding past and tried her very best to steel herself for what she would be coming home to. Eventually though, she found herself slipping into an uneasy sleep as the coach swayed back and forth through the mountains and valleys between Drossel and Leiden.

Violet heard a rap on the door of her cabin within the coach and jumped awake, almost sprinting to full attention through habit. She hadn't been forced awake much in her time since the army, but it had happened many times in the barracks or in trenches.

"Last stop," she heard a man's voice ring through the coach as he continued down the hall and knocked on every door. "Last stop, Leidenshaftlich!" He called out in the night.

Violet sucked in a deep breath and looked again to the window, finding only her reflection now that all the lights in the coach were on. She squirted harder and cupped her hands around her face, forcing the light out her vision to look out into the night. The platform was fairly empty at this time of night, nearly morning. She could see snow falling and piling up on the track on the other side of the platform and most of all, she could see a familiar figure sitting on one of the benches underneath the platform's roof.

Violet's blood began to boil softly as her eyes narrowed and anger bubbled up in her throat. She stood from her bench seat and grabbed for her bag, stepping quickly down the hall of the coach and down the steps, out into the night air. Her cheeks lit up red almost immediately from the bite of the cold air but she didn't let it phase her. She marched right up to the bench and the familiar figure stood slowly, unwilling to meet her gaze. She stopped in front of him and let her eyes fix on his right arm, slung up in a cast around his ribs.

"What happened?" She demanded through gritted teeth. Violet couldn't ever recall being this angry before. Her metallic fingers clenched around the strap of her bag and the muscles in her cheeks flexed over and over as she tried to swallow her anger. She shouldn't be angry with him. It could have been an accident.

Trevor cleared his throat and Violet took note of the way he refused to meet her gaze. She watched him look around the platform and only then did Violet feel the gaze of on-lookers at her back.

"Come on," Trevor sighed and turned, gesturing for her to walk with him. He reached out and offered his free hand to carry her bag but Violet never gave him the chance, stepping past him and towards the ramp to the street. Trevor skipped a few steps to catch up with her as their boots hit the concrete of the sidewalk. "Do you want a cab? I…can't drive like this."

"You walked here? In the snow?" Violet asked as she finally paused and this time his eyes finally did meet hers and Violet's stomach dropped. His eyes were red and she could even see a glint below them on his cheek from the light of the street lamps. Trevor had been crying. Violet's throat tightened even more and her anger slowly began to melt into sorrow. This was exactly what she was afraid of. "You walked to get me off the train in the middle of a snow storm at three in the morning…" she gasped breathlessly, "With a broken arm."

"Did you expect me not to," he almost smiled and Violet couldn't help the huff that followed, the beginning of a laugh being squashed by the reality of the situation. They were silent for a long while as the snow began to collect in Violet's hair as their eyes searched each other for what to say. "It wasn't a far walk," he tried to excuse his behavior.

Violet couldn't argue with that fact, Trevor did live quite close by to the train station, but she could argue about other things. "You didn't tell me you were hurt."

"I didn't want you to worry," he started and when Violet grit her teeth to respond he added "I know that doesn't make it better," he said quickly. "I know… I know it was wrong to hide it from you and I'm sorry… I just thought…"

He fell silent and eventually Violet's features softened and she couldn't help but ask, "thought what?"

"I thought it would distract you from your work," he admitted and Violet felt her heart skip a beat. Her hand flexed and shot out to grab his free hand, pulling him to look down at her.

"Do you think my work is more important than your health?" The words flew from her lips before she even knew what they would be. The words settled between them and washed through her own mind as she actually registered what she'd said.

"…Do you…not?" He asked cautiously.

Suddenly the air between them felt tight. Like the conversation going forward would be a great deal different than Violet had intended. Did she care about Trevor that much? Did his health actually mean more to her than her own job? Her job that she would go to the ends of the earth for? Really? Violet wasn't sure.

"Come on," Trevor finally broke the awkward silence. "I'll walk you home," he said softly, trying not to sound defensive.

"The office is too far to be walking in this," Violet suggested.

"You're more than welcome to stay over my place tonight, you know that," he smiled shyly and Violet couldn't help the brief jolt of happiness that invaded her mind. "Least I hope you do."

"Thank you," she nodded and bit back a smile. She was supposed to be mad at him. She couldn't be showing weakness so easily. The pair's boots began to crunch in the fresh powder as they walked along the dimly lit streets in an unwelcome silence. Violet wanted to speak but the only thing she could think of speaking about was sure to upset Trevor. She couldn't tiptoe around the subject though, if she ignored it then she knew he would too. If Trevor refused to speak about his problems then they would never be fixed.

She had to pry the information out of him, no matter how much neither of them wanted to upset the other.

"You didn't answer me," she said solemnly after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah…" he sighed.

"Are you going to?" She asked.

"Do I really need to? Surely you know why I'm hurt."

"I think it would be good for you to admit it out loud…I have found that talking about one's problems with a friend can help to relieve stress."

She heard Trevor snort something close to a laugh and held her breath, hoping he wasn't actually going to laugh at her. But he sucked in a deep breath and sighed heavily before replying. "Yeah you're right about that. That doesn't make it any easier to say though."

Violet pressed her gloved fingers to her lips and tried to think of something that would be easier. Something more simple than telling her exactly what had happened. Maybe if she could ease him into it but by bit it would be easier to get it out of him. "Well…you don't have to say how it happened," Violet suggested, thinking on her feet. "Just start by admitting who hurt your arm. That's better than nothing…I think."

This time it seemed it was Trevor's turn to be lost in thought. Violet watched his face contort out of the corner of her eye, his jaw muscles flexing over and over as he visibly tried to force the words out. Eventually he stopped in the street in front of his apartment and let his head draw back until he was looking up into the night sky. Violet stopped and watched him, waiting for her answer. He let out another long sigh, his hot breath blowing a cloud of steam into the air and, finally, she heard the words that neither of them really wanted to hear.

"My father…doesn't like that I'm with you."

Violet set her bag down on the wooden boards of Trevor's entryway and began dusting the accumulated snow off of her shoulders and head onto the floor. Trevor walked past her and flicked the living room lights on before setting his keys down.

Violet had scarcely found herself in Trevor's apartment, and she'd never spent the night. The few times she'd seen inside it was only for a few moments, as she waited for Trevor to finish getting ready for a date or to simply grab something they had come to retrieve and as such, she'd never deeply studied it.

The small entryway opened up into a small kitchen, which in turn opened further into the living room, the wooden floors extending through both rooms. The entryway itself had a shelf that ran along its length where his keys, wallet, and riding gloves sat. Violet made a quick mental note that there seemed to be no dust on the shelf, nor on his keys, so his injury must have been quite recent. Perhaps he really hadn't had time to send her a letter about it, figuring that letting her see it when she got home would be faster.

She shouldn't have assumed that he had held the information back. She watched Trevor walk through the kitchen and into the living room, where he fell back onto a green felt couch and let his head lay back, eyes glued to the ceiling. It was late. Nearly four in the morning on this snowy Saturday morning. Violet had returned home with the weekend ahead of her so she could relax before getting back to work on Monday, but she hadn't even thought to ask if Trevor had been awake all night, or if he had worked all day before that. She figured he hadn't due to his arm being broken,

Violet opened her mouth to speak but no words came out, instead she felt herself hesitate, her mind glued to what he had told her on his doorstep.

"Your father hurts you because of me," were the words that escaped her lips instead, and even Violet was a little taken aback by them.

"He…he's been like this since before you came around Violet. Don't blame yourself."

"Is that a lie?" Violet asked softly, trying her very best to not sound suspicious. She didn't want it to be a lie but she couldn't help the question aching at her.

"No Violet," Trevor shook his head. "I've been hiding it for much longer than I've known you. It's not something I enjoy talking about so I…don't." He shrugged his shoulders and she saw him wince a little in pain.

Violet finally made her way across the room and sat down beside him, touching her fingers to his slung shoulder as gently as she could. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Trevor sighed and looked away from her. "You've done nothing wrong."

"I've gotten you hurt," she said as factually and level headed as she could.

"No you didn't," Trevor huffed. "I did. I'm the one that keeps all this crap bottled up."

"Then tell someone," Violet pleaded, her free hand moving to thread into his fingers. She was relieved when he relaxed his hand to let her fingers entwine with his.

"I have. I told you."

"Tell someone that matters more than I do Trevor!" Violet raised her voice. "Tell the police!" She scolded and pleaded.

"What are they gonna do? Just tell me to leave."

"Then leave," her grip tightened on his hand. "Come work with me and get away from him. You already have your own apartment, if you simply leave the Belle company you won't have to see him anymore.

"Yeah and then what?" He said, finally looking across the distance between them and into her eyes. "He can pick out another employee and start bullying them instead?"

Violet bit her lips for a moment, anger flooding her veins again. She wasn't angry at Trevor though, in fact his question had almost made her respect for him grow. She was angry about what she had to say next. "That isn't your responsibility Trevor," she almost growled out. "You are expected to take care of yourself before others. If you don't put a stop to this you're going to end up dead," she bit the last words out and with them tears finally broke free from her eyelids. "I don't want that. I want you here!" She almost yelled at him and Trevor froze up as he watched her begin to cry. "I want you alive, and healthy, and!" Her last words were drowned in tears, and in Trevor's shoulder as he sat up straight and pulled her tight to him. "I want you to be happy," she sobbed.

They were silent for a long while as Trevor held her and let her cry. He almost felt as if he would start to cry as well, but he held back the tears and focused on comforting Violet instead. How could he be so careless? Violet was right, it wasn't his job to take the punishment so others didn't have to but, he still felt as if he needed to. Even still he knew she was right and that if he kept up like this he would wind up dead. He couldn't do that to Violet. He didn't want to leave her at all, nevermind like that.

"Violet I'm sorry," he said softly, running his hand up and down her back. "You're right. You're absolutely right." Trevor pulled back from her and wiped his sleeve gently over each of her bright blue eyes. "I'll leave."

Violet seemed to perk up slightly at that, as if she really were surprised that he'd agreed with her. "You mean that?"

"Yes…" he nodded. "I'll quit Monday morning. I'll come work with you."

"Are you sure?" She asked, though he could see the hope in her eyes and had no idea how anyone could ever say no to that question.

"Yes I'm sure but…could you maybe, come with me?" He asked and Violet gave him a quizzical look. "I'm not sure I'll have the resolve to actually do it without you waiting outside the door," he laughed nervously and Violet unleashed one of the softest smiles he'd ever seen.

"Of course I'll go with you," she took hold of his hand. "Wherever you want, I'll always go with you." Trevor watched as Violet raised her hands to his face and felt the cold silver of her thumbs stroke his cheeks. Even with prosthetic hands Trevor could melt into her touch so easily. He was constantly fascinated by how much control she had over them and just how gentle she could manage to be. "How bad is your hand?"

"It's not that bad," he admitted. "Could be worse," he raised his bandaged hand up to touch the tips of his fingers to hers and Violet felt her heart jump as she always did when he touched her.

Even when he touched her silver hands Violet always swore on her life that she could feel it. Violet's gaze dropped from her eyes to his lips and she felt her face grow hot, the situation around her finally sinking in.

They were alone in his apartment. She had never stayed the night alone with him before. Even when they had all slept at Iris' apartment they weren't truly alone. She hadn't seen him in months, hadn't felt him, hadn't kissed him in far too long. It had felt like ages since she had been so close to him, and in only another heartbeat she'd closed her eyes and pulled him to her.

Her hands moved to the back of his neck and her lips locked with his. She felt his hands on her as well, after a moment of stunned stiffness had passed him by. His fingers came to rest on her hips and she felt him lay back into the couch. She followed his lips down until his head hit the armrest and she spread out, laying on top of him. Her knees pressed into the cushions and her hands moved to do the same so she could hover above him and take some of the weight of her heavy dress off of him.

It was only then that the idea sprang into her mind. The idea that maybe the dress was better off on the floor than it was on her.