A/N: I own Ellie, but that's about it.

Chapter 1

I stood among the crowd of mothers and fathers in the grounds of Forks Elementary School as I waited for Ellie to run out with the rest of her kindergarten class. It was a Friday, so it was the start of a fun weekend, filled with a variety of activities, and I always made sure Ellie made the most out of her weekends. Whether that meant a trip to the beach, a picnic in the park, or even just a day with Grandpa Charlie. I couldn't remember the last time we'd had a weekend where we just stayed at home and watched movies.

But first, I had to get through this evening before the fun could start.

It had been three days since I'd accepted Carlisle's offer, and this evening I was meeting with Edward for the first time in five years. I still wasn't sure whether I was doing the right thing, or whether I had been doing the right thing since the accident occured, but tonight I'd hopefully get the answer to that. I was originally worried that perhaps I should have offered my help from the very start, and maybe things would have been different now? But I knew, deep down, that it would have been too hard for me back then. I also wondered if maybe we should haven't created this lie, and maybe Edward would have gotten over his anger if he knew about Ellie and I. But despite what I thought, and the fears I had sheltered in my mind, I couldn't turn back time. We had to assume it was the right choice, and leave it at that.

I promised to meet with Edward at five, once the office had shut, but because he refused to leave the house between six and eight, I was going to talk to him in the comfort of his own home. I also wondered if that would help him at all, because he won't feel like he's in a negative space, but until the meeting had happened, there was no way for me to know for sure. I always had pictures of Ellie around me during a lesson, and she was like my little mascot as I helped a patient through their struggles, so I won't have that this time. But I wondered if having Edward there would offer me the same comfort, seeing as the two of them were practically identical. Or maybe that would just make things harder?

There was no way to know until the session started.

Fortunately, the school bell rang before I could get too lost in my thoughts, and I glanced up to see the excited children as they ran toward their parents. Ellie was one of the last to leave, which wasn't a huge surprise to me, and once she caught sight of me, my daughter sprinted across the open space with her auburn hair trailing in ribbons behind her. Her WWE backpack was far too large for her, and her Marvel t-shirt was covered in recently acquired paint splodges.

Ellie was the sort of kid who didn't really have favorite hobbies or interests, and instead she simply loved what other people loved. Edward's brother, Emmett, got her into WWE and Marvel, and she loves to sit with Charlie on the weekend and watch a football match, even though she doesn't understand the game. But then she also loved to bake cupcakes with me, or go shopping with Edward's sisters. I wished I could tell her who they are, and have her call them Auntie Rose and Auntie Alice, but I was also pleased they could be in Ellie's life, and that was enough for now.

Ellie also had a thing about dressing herself, so there have been times where she came downstairs in a denim, floral dress, black and white leggings, and a pair of my own sneakers. Apparently they were comfy, and she liked it when her toes could breathe… But I made her change her shoes before we left the house.

"Hey, Momma," Ellie said with a beaming smile as she threw her arms around my legs.

"Hi, sweetheart. Did you have a good day?"

"Yep! I did a picture for you, and my teacher said I could be an artist when I become a mommy like you!"

Ellie was at that age where she knew the difference between an adult and a child, but she also thought that every adult was a mommy or a daddy.

"You did?" I gasped. "Can I see?"

"Yeah!"

As Ellie spun around on her foot, I zipped open the main pocket of her bag and noticed the rolled up piece of paper which had been shoved inside. But as well as that, I also noticed a few other items which hadn't been in her bag when I packed it this morning.

She had three of her Barbies, a wooden spoon, her left rain boot, and one of my sweaters.

"Ellie… did you really need to bring all of this today?" I asked as I zipped the bag closed again.

"Well, yeah, 'cause my Barbies didn't want to be left alone." Ellie shrugged. Like it was the simplest explanation.

"Okay, and what about the spoon, boot, and my sweater?"

Ellie's bright green eyes glanced from side to side slowly, and then she shrugged it off again. "That doesn't matter, Momma! Look at the picture!"

I held back my laugh as I unrolled the paper, and then the biggest smile crossed my face. Ellie had drawn, what looked like, the two of us in the park. According to the blue line at the top of the page, it was a beautiful sunny day in the picture, and the two stick figures were holding hands. One was much taller than the other, with long brown hair, and the smaller one had shorter, orange hair. The smaller character also had a guitar by her feet, but the instrument looked more like a black lollipop.

"This is wonderful," I said as I took in more and more details. "Did you take Grandpa Charlie's guitar to the park?"

"No, silly!" Ellie cackled. "Biggie brought it with him!"

That was when my smile fell, and a harsh ache formed over my chest. Ellie had found out that Edward used to love playing Charlie's guitar, and she always included him into the pictures, despite not knowing what Edward looks like.

"Ooh, I see!" I said, as a way of trying to fight back the pain. "Well, you've done a wonderful job, sweetheart."

"Thanks! Can we go home now?"

I held the picture in one hand, and then I took Ellie's hand in the other, and the two of us headed toward the car.

"Speaking of Grandpa Charlie, you're actually going to spend a couple hours with him this evening because I need to work. If that's okay?"

"Oh, yeah, dude!" Ellie shouted as she skipped along beside me. "Maybe I can watch more football with him!"

"I'm sure he'd be okay with that."

Ellie and Charlie have a wonderful relationship, and he became one of the coolest guys around when she found out that he worked for the police. Ellie constantly said that she wanted to be like Grandpa Charlie when she's older, but that, like everything else in Ellie's creative mind, changes every day. Sometimes she wants to help people like I do, sometimes she wants to be a superhero like the guys in her Marvel movies, but she's also told me that she wants to be the person who picks up dog poop in a park. But like everything she's ever said, I've also told her that she can be whoever she wants to be, just as long as she's happy.

I barely had the car in drive before Ellie spoke again.

"Hey, Momma?" Ellie asked from her car seat behind me. "Justin told me that his daddy has hair under his arms. Like this!"

I glanced into the rear-view mirror and noticed that Ellie had her left arm up in the air and her right hand up against her armpit. Then she wriggled her fingers to make it seem like she had armpit hair.

"Er, yeah, that's right," I said as I tried to hold back my laughter. "But it's not just men who have it, everyone has hair under their arms."

"Did Biggie have hair under there?"

"Yep," I sighed. "Biggie does, too."

That was when I realized I'd spoken about Edward in the present tense, but luckily Ellie was slightly too young to understand the difference.

"Then why don't you have hair under there?"

"Because I decided to shave mine," I said as we came to a set of traffic lights. "Some women decide to keep theirs, whereas others don't like it. But it doesn't matter what you choose, because that's your decision to make."

"I think… I think I'll keep mine, because it sounds cool!" Ellie wriggled her butt against the car seat, and her happy laugh instantly put a smile back on my face.

0-0

Charlie was waiting for us as I pulled up into his driveway, and Ellie's excitement was too much for the little girl to cope with, so she instantly unbuckled herself from her seat before I could even open the door. My daughter tended to wait for me to let her out, but sometimes she didn't think twice before she jumped down. At least I had the child safety on, but it still wasn't enough to calm my nerves.

"Remember what I said," I told her as I blocked the open door with my body. "You have to be careful when getting out of a car."

"I know, Momma. But it's Grandpa Charlie! And there are no other cars in his driveway!"

She had a point, so to speak, but I still made a point to teach my daughter about road safety, regardless of whether we were in a driveway or not.

Then, once I'd reminded Ellie to look both ways, I allowed her to run over to Charlie, and my father practically threw her up into the air as he pulled his granddaughter in for a hug.

"How was school, kid?" he asked.

"It was good! I did a picture for Momma, and Justin told me about the hair under his daddy's arms!"

Charlie and I shared a knowing look, and then he simply accepted Ellie's answer before we all headed inside. My childhood home hadn't changed a bit in about thirty years, when I moved here when I was five. The kitchen still had the dull yellow paint on the walls, the living room was filled with mismatched furniture, and I was surprised the ancient TV still worked. But that was how Charlie liked to live, and it wouldn't be the same if he revamped the entire place.

"Do you want a snack, Ellie?" I asked as I headed into the kitchen.

"Yeah! Please!" she yelled out from the living room.

Sometimes Ellie didn't finish everything I gave her for lunch, but the only things I found in her lunch bag were empty pots and food wrappers, so I headed for Charlie's kitchen cabinets instead. He often had a few snacks lying around, so I was sure to find something in there.

"Are you still heading over to… their house?" Charlie whispered as he came in to join me.

"I think I have to. I've told Carlisle and Esme that I'd at least try to help them."

"You don't have to, Bells," Charlie said as he placed a caring arm around my shoulders. "Y'know, I wasn't overly fond of the plan, and I didn't like how they kinda forced you into this. But if this is what you want to do, then I'll support you in that."

I rummaged around the various food items as I allowed my father's words to settle. At first, after Carlisle had left my house, I also felt forced, especially how he had already spoken to Felix about adding Edward onto my patient list. But now that I've taken a few days to think about it, my thoughts have changed. If it was Ellie in that situation, I would have done anything to help her, even if that meant potentially planning everything beforehand, so I knew Carlisle hadn't done anything maliciously.

"But what if I can help him, Dad?" I asked as I fought against the tears that formed. "What if I can be the one to give Ellie everything she wanted?"

"Yeah, and what if it doesn't work? There will be a time, not far from now, where she'll understand what happened. Edward is still around, just not in the way you want him to be."

"Who's Edward?"

I spun around in shock as I noticed Ellie standing in the doorway. She had a frown on her face, and I instantly began to panic that maybe she'd overheard her name in the conversation.

"Er… He's one of my patients," I said as confidently as possible.

"Oh. Okay." Ellie shrugged. "Can I get my snack now? I'm hungry."

"Sure," I said as I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and handed it over. "Are you having fun in the living room?"

"Yeah! Grandpa Charlie had the football on for me to watch!"

"That's great. Now, go and enjoy your apple."

"Thanks!" Ellie shouted as she ran from the room. "Go Seahawks! Woo!"

I practically fell into Charlie's arms as Ellie returned to the living room. That was why I hadn't mentioned Edward's name to her before, and I was suddenly glad that she only knew him as 'Biggie'. There had been a number of times when she'd overheard Edward's name in the past, but that was the first time she'd ever asked who he was.

"She's so happy," I mumbled. "It almost makes me feel guilty that I'm keeping all of this from her."

"But we all know why you're doing this, Bell," Charlie said as he patted my back soothingly. "Do I wish she had Edward in her life? Of course I do, you know that. But imagine how hard it would be if you told her the truth. She wouldn't understand, and she might think that Edward doesn't want her, which we know isn't the case."

Charlie was right. Everyone who knew the original Edward knew how much he wanted to be a dad, and how caring and loving he was when we found out I was pregnant. I wasn't even allowed to bring in the groceries without Edward offering to do it, saying that I could hurt myself in the process. The fact we'd planned to name our daughter after his mother was a sign in itself that he loved his unborn child more than anything. We hadn't found out if we were having a boy or a girl, because we wanted it to be a surprise, but part of me wished it could have been the other way around. And I wish he knew we were going to have a little girl before the car crash.

"Touchdown!" Ellie yelled out from the other room. "Grandpa Charlie! They scored a touchdown!"

"That's great, kid," Charlie chuckled. "I'll be through to join you in a second."

Their small conversation was enough to pull me away from my negative thoughts, and as I stepped away from my father, I let out a sigh and pushed my hair away from my face.

"I should probably go," I mumbled. "I told Esme I'd talk to her privately before I spoke to Edward."

"Okay." Charlie nodded. "But if you get there and you find it's too much, don't feel forced to stay. You could always return at a later date if you need to."

"I know. I'll see how I feel when I get there."

"Just make sure you do the right thing."

That was the main issue. I didn't know whether I was doing the right thing. Was I potentially hurting myself by helping Edward? Or, was I hurting both of us? I didn't know how Edwad reacted during his sessions, nor did I know what this was going to do to him. If his memories came back, and he recognized me, was he going to be happy or sad that we'd gone behind his back like this? The old Edward would thank us for helping him, but maybe that person was so far gone that he wasn't going to return?

Those same questions remained in my mind as I travelled through to the living room. Ellie was sitting on the edge of the couch with her eyes glued to the TV, and she cupped the half-eaten apple in one hand. I noticed more and more of Edward's quirks in our daughter every day, and he often found it difficult to watch TV and eat at the same time, especially if he was caught up with the show he was watching. He also played with his hair if he was stressed out or nervous, and as the Seattle Seahawks took control once again, Ellie clutched her hair in her free hand.

"I need to go now, sweetheart," I said as I crouched down in front of her.

"Okay…" she mumbled as she slowly took a bite of her apple.

"Ellie," I said as I waved one hand in front of her face. "Do I not get a goodbye hug before I leave?"

That broke her from her trance, because we loved nothing more than a good cuddle.

"How long will you be?" Ellie asked as she threw her arms around my neck.

"Er, a couple hours at most," I said. "You'll have dinner with Grandpa Charlie, and then I'll take you back home before it's time for bed."

"Okay. So you'll be there to say goodnight to Biggie with me?"

"Yes, sweetheart." I clutched Ellie closer to my chest. "I'll always say goodnight to Biggie with you. I love you."

"I love you too, Momma!"

Ellie once told me that one of her friends had lost a grandparent, and that friend said her grandmother was now a star in the sky. Ellie instantly thought that Biggie was also in the sky, so now she likes to look out of her bedroom window before she goes to bed. Apparently, Ellie can't sleep properly if she doesn't do that, so I didn't see any harm in it. Also, Ellie's window faced the south, and the Cullen home was in the south of the town. So it comforted me to know that Ellie was saying 'goodnight' in the same direction Edward was in.

I gave Ellie one last hug and a kiss, thanked Charlie once again for looking after her, and then I got into my car and drove away. I so desperately wanted to break down crying, particularly after the conversation Charlie and I had shared, but I knew it wasn't the right time. If anything, I needed to be stronger now than ever before, and there was time for crying later once Ellie had gone to bed.

My hands tapped against the steering wheel, my heart pounded in my chest, and I focused intently on the road ahead as I drove across town. I had to drive over the road where Edward crashed in order to reach his parent's home, but it wasn't the first, nor the last time I'd made this journey, so it no longer haunted me the way it used to.

Edward was a wonderful driver, and I never felt unsafe as a passenger, but that night was different. Edward used to work as a music tutor in Port Angeles, and that night he decided to surprise me when one of his students had to cancel their lesson at the last minute. I didn't know about this, so I just assumed he was going to come home at eight o'clock like he always did. But what I wasn't aware of was that Edward had stopped off at our favorite restaurant to collect some dinner, and he'd also bought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers because I was about to go on maternity leave. Then he got in his car and drove away.

It was the middle of February, and the roads were covered in a fresh sheet of ice, but that hadn't affected Edward before. Then, out of nowhere, a car skidded across the road from the opposite side after the driver had lost control. It smashed into Edward's car, which then caused him to hit a patch of ice, and he drove down an embankment and collided into two trees. Volvos had a reputation for being sturdy, reliable cars, but even that wasn't enough to protect him.

I remembered hearing the sirens as I drove home from work, but I never had to take that road, so I didn't know what had happened. Charlie, being the police Chief, was called out to the situation, and he said he took one look at the car and instantly knew it was Edward's. Charlie was the one who had to break the news to me, and he later told me that it was the hardest call he'd ever made, especially given that I was thirty-two weeks pregnant. His future son-in-law was sprawled out across the steering wheel in an awkward angle, and Edward was clearly unconscious with severe injuries to his head and chest. The airbag had inflated, but the second tree had only made things worse. His door was in such a bad condition that Edward had to be physically cut from the car and brought out from the opposite side.

Later on, once Edward had been rushed to hospital, the car was removed from the trees, and that was when we found out about the dinner and flowers, which also hadn't survived. According to doctors, the second driver had minor injuries, and they offered to pay for Edward's hospital bills because they felt so guilty, even though there was nothing they could have done, and it was simply an unfortunate accident. The driver didn't live here in Forks, and they were heading home after visiting family. I never met the driver, because I was too busy giving birth, but Esme and Carlisle handled it, and I think they said the guy didn't have to pay for anything. But I couldn't remember entirely because everything all blurred into one.

I remembered feeling extremely angry at the world, but I tried my best to cope with that. I thought about all the 'what ifs' that came with it, and I spent countless, sleepless nights going over the events. What if that student hadn't cancelled? What if that driver left five minutes earlier or five minutes later? Or, what if our favorite restaurant was extremely busy that night, so Edward had to wait longer for the food to be ready? Would I be in this situation if all of those things happened?

But I knew I couldn't change the course of events, just like how I couldn't control the ice on the ground. It wasn't like the driver had too much to drink, or they were driving recklessly, so I couldn't be angry at them for what happened. No one was to blame apart from the ice on the road, so my anxiety around driving always increased during the winter months.

It may have been five and a half years since everything happened, but I knew I'd always suffer with the terrible nightmares that plagued me. And even if Edward managed to be a part of my life again, I knew the pain and fear would never truly leave me.

But that was why I knew I couldn't turn my back on Esme and Carlisle when they needed me the most.

And it was why I parked my car in their drive, took a few more deep breaths, and then headed for the front door to see what awaited me on the other side.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who enjoyed the prologue. We'll be meeting Edward in the next chapter, so let me know what you think and I'll upload it as quickly as I can!

I've also uploaded a little collage of Ellie over on my Facebook page: RosieRathbone FanFiction.