Years passed. Harry kept pretending. He had a brief relationship with Ginny Weasley because his father was getting worried by his lack of girlfriends, and Padfoot was already teasing him with queer jokes.

The relationship didn't last long, though. He only maintained the facade long enough for the queer jokes to stop and then broke up with Ginny. Ron was furious and refused to talk to him for days.

Harry felt miserable. He tried to avoid his sexuality, but it was impossible. He was getting more and more frustrated, his irritation seeped through his relationships and he started fights for no reason at all. During the summer after the fifth year, he got grounded more times than he had ever been in his life. It was a struggle to keep his marks high, but at least he had Hermione to help.

He thought it couldn't get any worse, but he should know that disgrace didn't come by halves.

It was July 31st, 1997. It was his seventeenth birthday and soon he would start his last year at Hogwarts. He was considering doing his Mastery in Potions in another country, but he hadn't said anything to anyone yet. He couldn't explain that he just wanted to get away so he could make out with other men without the news getting back to his parents.

For the first time ever, Severus Snape showed up at his birthday. He was wearing a turtleneck sweater and seemed completely relaxed talking to Lily. Harry went over to thank him for his presence and received in return an approving smile and a gift — rare Potions ingredients. Lily cooed over the box.

Harry felt at a loss but managed to give his professor a weak smile. "Thank you."

"I heard you are interested in pursuing a mastery in Potions."

Harry just nodded. Snape had gotten less and less antagonistic to him over the years, but that was the first time he started a conversation with him, and Harry had no idea what to do.

"I was thinking about going abroad," he said abruptly.

His mom looked at him with surprise. "You had never mentioned that."

"It's a new idea," he said. It was not.

Snape's smile was now wistful. Harry felt something strange in his stomach. "I went abroad for a brief period. It's a wonderful experience. I was going to offer you a place as my apprentice, but if it's your final decision…"

"No," Harry said immediately. "No, it's not definitive, it was just a thought. I would," he cleared his throat, "I would like to start an apprenticeship with you."

"Then it's settled. I'll owl you the details, but I have to get going now." Snape stood and looked deeply into Harry's eyes. "I look forward to seeing what you can do outside of the classroom."

Harry's face burned in embarrassment, his mind taking a horny trip. He understood instantaneously that his admiration for Professor Snape wasn't only admiration. He had a bloody crush on his Professor... his soon-to-be Master! Just thinking of the word made his cock twitch.

His last year at Hogwarts hadn't even started and he already knew it was going to be the most embarrassing year of his life.

Wasn't it enough to be queer? Wasn't it already too much disappointment for his father? Why did he also have to have a crush on his father's rival?

That was the moment he decided to tell his friends and the moment where his friendship with Ron ended. His best friend since their first year acted like he had some sort of transmissible disease, and even Hermione's support didn't prevent Harry from thinking that everyone would react like Ron.

Harry wished that Ron knew how badly he wanted to be normal. How much he wanted to be like them.

Hermione's the best friend ever, Harry thought while eyeing all the men at the gay bar. If she hadn't brought him here, he would never imagine that in the muggle world the word "queer" wasn't a slur and that people like him could have happy and fulfilling lives.

When a handsome guy (there, he did it) approached him with clear second intentions, he didn't resist.

The start of the year was different. Everyone seemed to know that Ron and Harry had a disagreement. Also, Harry couldn't concentrate on Snape's class. He couldn't stop thinking about his Professor bending him over the desk and fucking his ass, and his imagination had only gotten wilder after the loss of his virginity. His potions started to explode or outright fail, and when it happened Snape would snarl at him, which only made him more excited. He was ever so thankful for his flowy robes because no one could see he left every class hard as a rock.

He eventually confessed his crush to Hermione, hoping she would help him find a solution.

"Honestly, Harry," she said, rolling her eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Professor Snape is a direct man. You should talk to him and say what you feel. If he reciprocates, then fine, if not, then you move on."

Harry grumbled under his breath that it wasn't that simple in real life.

He didn't want to strain his relationship with Snape. The man had offered him an apprenticeship and he didn't want to fuck it all up because of a bloody crush. Maybe if he ignored the problem it would just go away?

It didn't. The only thing he got was detention with Snape.

"Mr. Potter, what is happening with you this year? Your concentration skills in my class are abhorrent, and I know for a fact that it doesn't happen in your other subjects."

Harry blushed under the stare of his professor, incapable of explaining himself. Snape frowned.

"Did you regret your decision to become my apprentice?"

"No!" Harry felt his stomach getting cold. He couldn't lose it! "It's not that!"

"Would you care to explain to me what is happening then?"

Harry blushed so hard that he felt his neck getting red. Snape wouldn't let him leave without an answer.

"I… Ihaveacrushonyou ," he said as fast as he could.

"Mr. Potter, if you want me to understand your problem, I need you to speak clearly."

" I have a… I have a crush." Harry gulped. "On you."