A/N: Howdy! If you aren't also reading Sunshine Eternal, I mentioned in the author's note over there that I will be trying very hard to reply to reviews/comments as much as possible going forward. Sorry I haven't been. :/ And thanks for all of the reviews I didn't reply to. I really appreciate every single one.

Chapter 11

When Pam rose the next evening, she was full of anticipation. She had gone much longer without sex in the past, of course, but that didn't mean that she enjoyed it. She missed the intimacy, but found that she wasn't lacking in companionship at all. Other than the celibacy, this little sojourn had been very pleasant so far. The peace and solitude when Sookie was at rest had been wonderful. Plus, being able to look through her master's things at her leisure was nearly priceless.

Pam rose a bit before sunset these days, and Sookie had been rising a bit later. The length of her rest was decreasing as she healed, though, and not just because the days were getting shorter. Sookie would rise with the sunset the next night, if not this one.

Pam drew herself a hot bath and sank down into the bubbles. She had a wine glass full of blood on the edge of the tub and sipped from it occasionally, thinking about the fun she was going to have later that evening.

She enjoyed the humans she slept with but, for the most part, breathers just weren't very interesting. They were oversensitive and physically weak, and they hadn't seen or experienced or learned the things that most vampires had. Then again, they were warm and delicious, and fucking and feeding from them made her feel almost alive for a short time. But without all of the unpleasantness that often came with it.

The fact was, that in almost every respect, vampires were superior to humans. Of course, humans could easily and comfortably live without vampires, while vampires required humans to survive. But, really, that made little difference in the grand scheme of things. Vampires were stronger, faster, and could make humans do essentially anything they pleased. And so, whether or not humans needed vampires was irrelevant.

In Sookie's case, however, everything had been backwards. Pam couldn't imagine being a human's slave. Being compelled to do everything a human said and take every bit of abuse and torture a human meted out… Even being bitten by one and not being able to bite back! It must have been terrible being subservient like that, knowing that she was strong enough to kill her mother with no effort at all, but couldn't.

But, now that she thought about it, Sookie probably didn't see herself as anything other than weak. Hell, instead of being an apex predator, she had always been the prey. Stuck near the bottom of the food chain. At the mercy of those who'd had none. She had never been given the chance to be strong. Physically, at least. But it had taken an incredible amount of strength to go through all that she had and come out the other side, at least partly whole.

Sookie walked into the bathroom. She tried not to look at herself in the mirror, but she caught a glimpse out of the corner of her eye. She saw herself as she really was this time, but it didn't feel like her. It was just like it was the familiar face of someone she used to know. She wished that the old wives' tale about them not having a reflection were true.

She boosted herself onto the counter. "Hey, Pam." A few days before, their positions had been reversed. Sookie never wanted to be that horrifying girl in the bathtub again.

"Sookie, you're looking very well."

She shrugged. "Thanks. I think I'm pretty much back to where I was before. I'm not completely sure, though. It's been a long time."

She was wearing one of Eric's t-shirts again, but now Pam thought that she looked like nothing more than a very pretty girl who had borrowed one from her boyfriend. And, if Eric had anything to say about it, she supposed that that would be true enough sooner than later. If Eric could be called something as ludicrous as boyfriend.

But Pam was a little disappointed that Sookie seemed so down again. Even though Dr. Ludwig had told them it would take years to heal emotionally, if she ever did at all. But Sookie had come so far in such a short time that any backslide felt like a loss. Of course, she still had a very long way to go, regardless.

Pam took another sip of blood. "How do you feel?"

Sookie shrugged again. "I don't really know. Physically, I think I feel better than I ever have…" But she didn't want to elaborate on where she was mentally tonight. She was a mess. She was worried about being alone with Eric, both because it was scary and because it was exciting. Exhilarating, even. She was terrified again that when her master found out, he would hurt Eric or Pam or both, no matter what Pam said. And she was dreading what he would do to her.

Worst of all, she felt guilty. For the butterflies and anticipation and excitement. And she hated it. She hated him. Her master. But she was his, whether she liked it or not. And he'd made sure she knew it, over and over again, for two thirds of her time on earth. She was betraying him by wanting someone else, even if her whole existence had been a betrayal.

But, really, she and guilt were old friends. Her great-uncle was dead because of her. And the fact that she'd hated him had somehow made the guilt even worse. How many times had she wished he were dead? And then, her wish had come true. Because of her.

"Sookie, do you need me to stay here?" Where in the fuck had that come from? Pam wanted to kick herself for even asking. But Sookie really looked like she was in a very shaky state of mind.

Sookie snapped herself out of her thoughts. "No! Sorry. I was just lost for a second there. I'll be fine, Pam. Lord knows you need a break from watching me mope around the house every night."

"Actually, I'm enjoying your company very much. At least when you aren't hiding in bed."

Sookie felt a twinge of defensiveness, but then let it go. She shrugged. "I hid when I needed to hide. I'll probably do it again." Whether or not Pam believed her, it was true.

There was no apology in her voice. It was completely matter of fact. Pam was pleased. "Eric will be here soon, I would imagine. You should probably get ready."

Sookie shrugged again. "I don't have anything to wear. All you have in there that I can really even get on makes my boobs almost fall out."

Pam smiled. "Go check upstairs." Not that she wouldn't mind a demonstration first.

Sookie walked past the huge box on the table on the way to the kitchen, eyeing it warily. It was wrapped beautifully and had a big red bow on top. She warmed up some blood and grabbed a knife out of the drawer. When she turned around, Eric was leaning against the doorway again.

"It's a good thing I heard you come in. I might have died again of fright otherwise." She was still all messed up inside, but he was just so charming that he always made her feel better, even when he made her crazy. And scared. And nervous. And excited.

He grinned. "That's why I didn't float. Did you open your present?"

"I didn't get a chance yet." She narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't need presents. I will pay you back, for whatever that is and for the doctor and blood and everything else. You said that I'm loaded now."

She was a spunky little thing sometimes, when she relaxed and forgot to be timid. He shrugged. "It will be tied up for some time. And it will need to be laundered if you don't claim it under your own name. We'll discuss it later. Now, go take a look. You don't want to just be wearing one of my shirts when we go and test out your abilities." He looked her up and down, his grin widening a bit. "Although, it would be much more enjoyable for me."

Sookie was glad that she couldn't blush. She untied the bow and set the ribbon aside, and then carefully slit the tape with the knife. The clothes were expensive, tasteful, and there was something for every occasion, from functional to fancy. When she got to the lingerie and sleepwear, which was gorgeous and elegant and sexy as hell, she was once again glad that she couldn't blush. It wasn't particularly practical, but vampires just didn't need practical underwear. Especially ones like her who'd been turned at eighteen.

They were all things she would have picked out for herself, expertly folded and separated by tissue paper. It was all just perfect. Or, at least, it should have been. It felt so strange, having things of her own, though. Wrong, somehow. She was going to pay Eric back, and he said it would take quite a long time to get it all sorted out. The clothes wouldn't really be hers until then. But they weren't charity, either. She glanced up at him and smiled when she got to the bottom of the box. "Thank you. Everything is just right."

Pam swept in to heat up another blood. "You're very welcome, Sookie. I picked it all out myself."

Eric laughed. "And you did a wonderful job, Pam. Especially on the underwear. So, Sookie. Would you like to drive or fly?"

She swallowed. "Fly?"

Pam rolled her eyes. "My maker is a show off."

He laughed again. "And my child is just bitter that she can't."

Sitting next to him in the Corvette would be bad enough. And, unless he had a helicopter lying around, flying would involve touching, and there was no way she was ready for that.

"Um. I guess in the car?"

He shrugged with one shoulder. "We have lots of time." Both to get to where they were going tonight, and to get her into his arms. Even if just to fly.

Sookie carried the box down to the bedroom after insisting to Eric that she didn't need help. She changed into yoga pants and a long t-shirt and put her hair up in a ponytail.

She checked that it was nice and smooth in the mirror, just like she'd used to. She stopped and really looked at herself. Other than her pale skin, with her hair pulled back, she looked just like she had when she was still a senior in high school. Like she was going to go straight to work at her old job after the final bell rang. Back when she'd thought that maybe her master had disappeared from their lives forever. Back when she'd felt almost normal for the first time in her life. Unfortunately, it had been the only time. And it hadn't lasted nearly long enough.

She'd spent a lot of time in front of the mirror in the past. Looking at the damage he'd done to her. Checking to see if she was ok to go to school, or if she looked too beaten up. To futilely try to convince herself that she was strong enough to stake him in his rest the few times he'd stayed over. To attempt to recognize herself in her reflection. To see if there was still any of herself left.

Eventually, her room had become her prison, but part of her had been glad when her mother had taken those last shreds of comfort and freedom from her. She hadn't had to look at herself any longer. And she hadn't had to worry about what else her mother would take. All that had been left was her existence, and she'd been eager for her mother or her maker to take that for a very long time.

And now, strangely enough, she wanted to survive.

She tightened her ponytail and checked herself over one last time. And she realized that she really was pretty again. Boys and men had always found her very desirable. Physically, at least. She'd seen how much about a million times too many. And Lord knows that the only other vampire she'd ever known did, too. Maybe Eric really could want her. Maybe he already did. Somehow, despite how she'd looked when they'd met. Maybe it wasn't such a crazy idea at all.

She took a deep breath — to centre herself — and then went back upstairs. Eric and Pam were sitting in the living room, talking. When she walked in, Eric smiled at her. "Ready?"

Her stomach was full of butterflies, and she was scared half to death. In a manner of speaking. She realized that she was ready to test herself. But she wasn't ready for him.

She smiled back. "Yeah. I guess I am."

At least not yet.