Chapter 13

Sookie sat in the Corvette's passenger seat with a smile on her face all the way back to his house. She even chatted with him some. It was like she had forgotten to be scared. He kept stealing glances at her when she was quiet and looking out the window. The soft smile never left her face.

They had stayed a while longer, and she'd run and climbed and swung and tested herself over and over. And her confidence had seemed to grow with each accomplishment. When it was time to leave, her eyes had been shining and her cheeks were actually almost rosy. He didn't think he would have even recognized her as Vampire if he hadn't known.

She turned to look at him and caught him looking at her. He smiled, and she smiled back, but not before she lowered her eyes. He looked back at the road.

For tonight, the war with herself seemed to be over. But she didn't trust it not to return. It felt more like a temporary ceasefire than an armistice. But here, right now, in this little magic bubble, she could sit right next to him and talk to him and smile at him without cowering in the corner. And, God, it felt good. Normal, even though it was the furthest thing from her normal. She just wished that she could hold onto this feeling forever. She would give anything to be a normal girl with a boring, quiet, normal life. Even as a vampire.

He parked on the street in front of his house, and he was out his door and opening hers before she'd even taken her seatbelt off. It amused him that she'd worn one at all. He found it… cute. His eyebrows drew together for a moment, but smoothed out when she smiled up at him through her eyelashes. She got out of the car and waited for him while he closed the door. He almost put his hand against the small of her back to walk her to the house, but he stopped himself in time. She hadn't touched him or allowed herself to be touched since Pam had taken her from him and put her in his Corvette the night that they'd discovered her. He would be patient, but he would touch her again. Eventually. He did hover his hand no more than two inches away while he walked her to the door. When she opened it and went inside, he stayed on the doormat. She turned and looked at him.

"You aren't coming in?" She almost seemed a little disappointed.

He smiled at her. "No. It will be dawn soon. Pam is already back. But I may stop by tomorrow."

She hoped that she still felt normal then. "Oh. Ok. Well, I guess I'll see you then."

He nodded and started to turn around.

"Eric?"

He turned back.

"Thank you. For tonight, but also for everything else. I know I've said it before but I… I don't really think I could ever put into words how much it means to me. So, thank you."

She'd thought that she hated vampires. The only ones she'd ever known were her maker and herself, and she'd hated them both more than anything. But Eric and Pam had completely turned that upside down. And it wasn't just being saved. Not just the doctor and the blood and the clothes and the safe place to rest, either. It wasn't even mostly those things. She found that the thing that meant the most was the kindness they'd shown her. It always came back to that. She'd just had so little of it. But Eric and Pam had been kinder to her than any human had in the past twenty years.

There had been cursory kindnesses in her human life sometimes — politeness from customers at the restaurant where she'd worked for a few months, a few generic well-wishes from parishioners and clergy at her church when she'd had the chance to go, and even a little bit of concern from a couple of kids and teachers at school. But real kindness? Kindness that made a difference? It had been scarcer than hens' teeth for most of her life. At least after her daddy and Gran had died. And she'd had none at all since she'd been turned. Until now, of course.

She was so grateful. She felt like her heart was in her throat. Unbeating or not.

Gods, he wanted to touch her. To run the backs of his fingers down her cheek. To cup her face in his hands and kiss her gently. To stroke her hair as he held her. His eyebrows drew together again for just a moment. Of course, what he really wanted was to have her. To push her up against the wall and fuck her and bite her. He was sure that the rest was just to soften her up and to keep her from running away from him. His forehead smoothed out again.

"You are more than welcome. We will go out again soon. Maybe, when you're ready, I can teach you to fight." He grinned but, for some reason, it felt wrong on his face. "I will finally get my hands on you again."

She frowned a little and her gaze dropped. She took a small step back and wrapped her arms around herself. He silently cursed his stupidity.

She shrugged. "I guess I'd better go in."

He nodded. "Goodbye, Sookie."

She nodded back and closed the door.

Eric sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. He stalked to the car, got inside, and gripped the steering wheel tightly, clenching it in his fists. He started the car and drove away.

He needed to feed. He needed something to get his mind off of her. He needed to lose himself in someone's blood and body.

But it was late — nearly dawn. Fangtasia was closed. He could make some phone calls, but there was little time. It didn't seem worth the bother. He drove back to Pam's and heard giggles coming from Chow's room when he got inside. It sounded like there were at least three in there. Maybe four. Surely Chow could spare one.

Eric paused, but then growled and went to the kitchen. He warmed himself a bottle of TrueBlood and drank it, shuddering when he got to the sediment at the bottom of the bottle. He rinsed it out and went back to Pam's room and closed the door. He was glad when the sun pulled him into his rest.

Eric arrived the next evening a couple of hours past sunset. Sookie was sitting on the couch with a mug full of blood, reading her book. She looked up when he sat in his chair across from her. She seemed wary, but closed the book, her finger tucked inside keeping her place.

"Hey."

He smiled. He hoped it came across as non-threatening. "Hello Sookie. Where's Pam?"

Pam breezed in and sat down next to Sookie on the couch. "I'm right here."

Sookie visibly relaxed. Eric was a little disappointed, but thankful that Pam had arrived when she did. He leaned back and smiled. "Did you have a good time last night?"

Pam sighed almost dreamily. "As much as I adore Sookie's company, there's nothing like several orgasms and some blood straight from the source."

Eric laughed. "One of death's simple pleasures."

Sookie shifted in her seat. She wouldn't know. Not about that one or any of the others.

Something had changed the night before. To her, he felt like a completely different kind of dangerous tonight. She was far less afraid of him — physically, at least — but she was terrified of how she felt about him. And she was even more terrified of what she'd seen in his eyes outside the door. The hunger under the surface was nothing new. She'd seen it a million times before, whenever her master looked at her. Even when he was just hurting her and not fucking her or biting her. Although those almost always came later.

But there had been a softness there. A wistfulness, almost. One that she'd felt in her own eyes, too. But then the softness had been replaced with whatever that was when he said what he'd said and cheapened it all. She'd been glad that the spell had been broken, at least. Mostly. But it had hurt, too.

Her head was in such a mess. Really, she wanted to get up and leave. To hide in the bedroom with the covers pulled up over her head until he left. To never see him again. But the thought of that hurt her chest, and she knew that she wasn't strong enough to stay away. Or run away, which was likely what she should do. Her master would find her, but maybe she deserved whatever he would do to her for feeling like this in the first place.

Eric cursed himself again. Through the blood tie, she felt more conflicted than she had yet. He'd teased her before, when she was in much worse shape. Why had last night been so much different?

Sookie excused herself and went to the kitchen to rinse out her mug. Really, she just needed some space. When she turned around, Eric was leaning against the door frame. She wasn't even a little surprised. Before she dropped her eyes, she saw hunger in his again. But it was muted. Barely there. Mostly it was something else, although she wasn't at all sure what it was. Or what it meant.

He smiled at her. "Pam had to make a few phone calls. She will be back upstairs shortly."

"Ok." She wouldn't come close to meeting his gaze. He was afraid that he had lost all of the progress he'd gained the night before. Maybe even more. He wanted to fix it, but his mind was telling him to do one thing while his instincts were telling him to do another.

The tension between the two of them was oppressive. And he hated being so indecisive. It had been a long time since he'd been so unsure about which path he should take. Follow his head or follow his gut? "Sookie…"

She did look up for just a moment, but then she dropped her eyes again. They looked much more hurt and confused than afraid. He hated that he'd made her feel that way. He didn't really know what to say. Instead, he took three long steps and was standing right in front of her. She finally looked up at him. His brain was pulling on the reins, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. "I would very much like to kiss you."

Hurt quickly took a back seat to fear, but confusion was still riding shotgun. And there was more than a little excitement and anticipation there, too. She took a step back, and then another when it wasn't far enough. She looked at him pleadingly, but then couldn't look away. It was so intense, and his eyes still didn't really let on what he was feeling. But she was just so glad that they were blue and not brown.

One more step and she would be up against the island, and he didn't want her to feel cornered. But his instincts were screaming at him to follow through. He reached out his hand to her.

She just looked at it for a long time. He wondered if her brain and gut were arguing, too. And which one would win. Slowly, she lifted up her hand. It hovered for a minute or two before she put it in his. Willingly touching him first. He pulled her to him, giving her lots of time to pull away. He lightly caressed down her cheek with the backs of his fingers and then tipped up her chin. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently — almost reverently — his lips soft on hers. When he pulled away, her eyes were closed and her face was open. Frozen, but not hard. Not even a little. He pulled her against him and held her. After a few moments, she melted into him as he stroked her hair.