A/N: Things are really starting to heat up! Eek! If you're reading SE, I am having discouragement issues that I will hopefully work through soon. In the meantime, CTD is moving along just fine. So, not a SE hiatus. Just a little pause. *ahem* Anyhow, on with the whatever!

Chapter 14

Her face was against his chest and his arms were around her, his big hands on the small of her back and stroking her hair. She could still feel his lips on hers. Tentatively, she wrapped her arms around his waist and he held her just a little tighter.

She felt a million different ways at once. But it just felt too good for her brain to ruin it. She pushed aside the kiss and the questions and all of the scary feelings as much as she could and just let herself go in the rest. The comfort and closeness and connection. It was a whole new experience for her - a warm embrace with a quiet mind. She'd had both, but never at the same time. And it had been years since someone had held her in their arms for some reason other than to carry or restrain her. A couple of decades, maybe. And, even then, touch had never felt nice before. And this felt far more than just nice. This was better than finally getting a drink when you're dying of thirst. She should know.

He leaned down and buried his nose in her hair. He closed his eyes and slowly inhaled. When his lungs were full, he kissed the top of her head. He wanted to kiss her lips again — badly — but he didn't want to press his luck. He was very afraid of breaking this spell.

When he straightened up and opened his eyes, they met Pam's, reflected in the window over the sink. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he stared back. She crossed her arms and glared. He put his nose back in Sookie's hair and, when he looked back up, Pam was gone.

He spread out his hand on the small of Sookie's back and kissed her head as an excuse to smell her hair again. He wanted her. To have sex with her, to be sure, but not just that. He wanted her to give herself to him. He could feel that he was nearing the end of the chase and he was anxious to catch her. To win, with her as the prize. His analytical brain was trying to find a way to game her into giving him what he wanted - her to give in and become his. At least until his infatuation waned.

At the same time, there was another part of him that wanted her in a different way. That cared for her, and not just because he was fond of her and because he wanted to take her to bed and because she was one of his kind. He was drawn to her. Captivated by her beauty and her body and her scent, of course, but also by her strength and resilience and determination. Her vulnerability, despite her courage. Her kindness. Her… humanity. Her scent — and, presumably, her blood — weren't the only things about her that were sweet. And he craved all three.

It was almost like he felt a pull. But that just wasn't possible. She was already Vampire. And it didn't really feel like how he'd felt when he'd first seen Pam, sneaking through her mother's garden. He had been lonely and Pam was lovely. He had definitely been compelled to have her and to make her his, but it hadn't felt like this. He was eager to end Sookie's maker, but Eric didn't want to take his place. And he wasn't drawn to her for companionship, loyalty, and a good fuck. Not really, although he absolutely wanted those, too. Much of him wanted something else. Something that he didn't even have a name for.

He didn't understand any of it. What he felt for her, what it meant, or why he did. And he was afraid that both the feelings and the ignorance were putting him at a major disadvantage. Vulnerable. But he also didn't know how to stop wanting her like this, other than to keep his distance. And he didn't think that he could do that. And he certainly didn't want to.

He was being pulled in different directions, but it was two against one. The part of him that wanted to possess her and the part that wanted to do with her whatever it was that it wanted to do were teaming up and leaving the rest of him behind. Defenseless and weak and running headlong towards danger without any brakes. Even the cold and calculating parts were too busy trying to catch her to worry about what it could cost. He hated it when he was strategically outmaneuvered, apparently even when it was done by himself. And yet most of him just didn't give a shit. She would be his, and damn the consequences.

Sookie was trying to keep herself calm. All of the scary things were pushing their way back in. The thing was, she didn't want to give in to them. She kind of wanted to be held forever. Unfortunately, she was really kind of terrified. Worse, she kind of wanted him to kiss her again.

She pulled away a little so she could look up at him. To try to find some kind of answer in his face. But, of course, he looked down to see why she'd pulled back, and she couldn't make herself look away. And part of her didn't want to. The part that wanted him to kiss her again.

He let her pull away from him, but she didn't go far. Her hands were still resting on his sides, right above his hips. She looked up, and her eyes were scared, but they were also soft. He couldn't look away. He cupped her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb and, when she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand, he leaned down and kissed her again. Gently, but not quite so chaste.

Sookie was trying so hard to stay in the moment. To not think about the future or the past, but just how good it felt. How gentle he was being. How kind and careful and decent he was.

He swept his tongue against her lips and she hesitated, but then opened them a little. The tip of his tongue brushed hers, and the hand that had been stroking her hair buried itself in it. He deepened the kiss a little more and, somehow, her hands were on his neck and she was kissing him back.

He hadn't expected her to be so receptive so soon. Her scent was everywhere and she felt incredible in his arms. He pulled her even closer, holding her head in his hand with his fingers tangled in her hair. Even her mouth tasted sweet. His fangs ran down a little, and her tongue lightly grazed one. He was disappointed that it hadn't drawn blood.

Sookie froze. Completely. He pulled away, and her eyes were wide and terrified and unfocused, staring right through him. They looked like they had after he'd staked Long Shadow, when she had shut down completely. He had no idea what the matter was or how to fix it. "Sookie. Please."

Pam was back in the doorway with her hands on her hips, and she looked beyond pissed. "What in the fuck did you do to her?"

"Nothing that she didn't want me to."

"Well, Eric, it has been days since the last time she was in such poor shape. And it just happened to happen right when you had your tongue down her throat."

"Pam. Enough."

"No, Eric, it's not enough. You have likely cost her days of recovery. Maybe even weeks. Because you were too fucking impatient to wait until she was stable."

Pam walked over and put her hand on Sookie's back. "It's ok. I'll take you downstairs so you can rest."

Sookie didn't react at all. Pam gently picked her up and took her down to the bedroom. When she got back up to the top of the stairs, Eric was standing there waiting for her. He looked almost as mad as she was. He opened his mouth to speak, but she was faster.

"She isn't a game you can win or a toy for you to play with. She's fragile, Eric. Damaged and hurt and broken. Sex has been forced upon her since she was a child, both in people's thoughts and by her uncle and then maker, who was nothing but violent and cruel. It's the only contact she's had. I knew that you would take advantage of her, but I had hoped that you would at least wait until she could enjoy it while it lasted."

He opened his mouth again, but she cut him off. "I don't care that this is your house. Get out. And stay there until I tell you to come back."

He had a black look on his face, but she was unmoved. "I mean it, Eric. And don't you dare command me. Just leave."

He glared at her for three or four minutes. She glared right back, and neither of them had to blink. He gritted his teeth, but then turned around and left.

Pam went back downstairs, and Sookie had curled herself into the fetal position. Pam smoothed the hair out of Sookie's face. "He's gone. He won't come back until you say it's ok."

Sookie nodded a little but didn't open her eyes. Pam patted her hip and started for the stairs. When she was almost at the top, she heard Sookie, in a very small voice, say thank you.

Eric went outside, looked at the Corvette, and scowled. He didn't think that he could start it without breaking the ignition or drive it without crushing the steering wheel. He shot into the sky, picked a direction, and just flew.

Fucking Pam. He should have commanded her to be quiet. To go back to her own house and let him stay in his. To…

He scowled again. He had flown southeast, and he wasn't far from Baton Rouge. There were a couple of vampire-friendly hotels there, and he could feed the emptiness, fuck out the frustration, and then rest for the day.

He landed near one and went inside. He checked in, got his key, and walked into the bar. There were several attractive women there. And they were there because they all wanted to fuck and feed a vampire. There were plenty to choose from. Fangbangers, but also sorority girls looking for a thrill, expensive escorts looking for a john, and a handful of strikingly beautiful women looking for a vampire sugar daddy.

He found a gorgeous and statuesque brunette who was all lines and angles. He caught her eye, and she slunk over to him. To Eric, she smelled like she'd drenched herself in expensive perfume, although she had only used the lightest touch. She didn't smell like honey and sunshine. The woman placed her hand on Eric's chest and she was tall enough that she could almost look him straight in the eye. He wouldn't have to bend down to kiss her. Or to hold her. Or to envelope her in his arms.

He grabbed her hand and led her up to his room without speaking to her. When they got inside, she pulled the straps of her dress over her shoulders and it fell to the floor. She was wearing nothing underneath. She stepped out of the dress and walked to him, wearing only a pair of red fuck me heels. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him. She had been drinking martinis, and her mouth tasted like olives and vermouth and the salad she'd had for dinner with a garlicky dressing.

She undid his belt and the button on his jeans and then knelt in front of him. She started to unzip his pants, and he said, "Get up." His voice was raspy and dark. He glamoured her, fed from her, and sent her away. She tasted bitter.

He took a long shower before going to his rest. And he had beaten out some of his frustrations, remembering the smell of her hair, the taste of her on his tongue, and her soft body pressed against his.

The next evening at sunset, Sookie rose screaming again. It had been over a week since she had done it last. Pam speed dialed Eric and threw the phone on the bed. Let him listen to what he'd done.