A/N: Ok! I know! This isn't SE or CTD. But the Plot Bunny caught me. Fucker didn't even leave me Cadbury Mini Eggs. SE chapter is 2/3 done. I promise.

This is an outtake for The Young and the Breathless. You really kind of need to read that one first.

May 11-12, 2012

Leif Stackhouse Northman rolled his eyes. His parents were at it again. He knew that, compared to other vampires, they were extremely discrete. But they never took their hands off of each other! His mom had always tried to keep things PG around him, but he walked in on them making out at least a couple of times a night. And his father had just chased his mother through the house trying to untie her bikini top. Of course, she was shrieking and giggling, and everyone knew that she was going to let him catch her. Neither one of them was running even as fast as a normal human. It was bad enough that they looked his age, but sometimes they acted like it, too.

It had been really weird growing up in a vampire nest, but mostly it had been pretty awesome. There were always gorgeous women (well, undead ones) around. And, now that he was older, some of them flirted with him instead of treating him like a cute little puppy. At least until Godric or his mother ran them off. And how many other kids got to go flying with their fathers, or have their grandmothers teach them to swear in eight different languages, or listen to their grandfathers tell them stories about life two thousand years ago, knowing that they had actually lived it? Of course, having an overprotective mother who could not only read his mind but see the future sucked really hard sometimes. But, still, he and his mom had always been super close. He still talked to her in his head as much as he did out loud. And she tried hard to stay out of it the rest of the time.

When he was little, his mom had done all of the school stuff, like parent teacher conferences and chaperoning school trips and PTA meetings and cheering him on at his soccer games. Eventually, though, she just hadn't been able to make herself look old enough to have a son his age. Vampires had been out of the coffin since he was in kindergarten, but humans just weren't going to be ok with a little kid being raised by a bunch of undead teenagers. Well, his dad had been twenty when he'd been turned, but close enough.

At that point, he'd had to switch schools and, as far as everyone else was concerned, his mom was his sister, and his dad his brother-in-law. Uncle Jason played the part of his father, Eric, whenever they needed an "adult". Which was pretty hilarious, considering. His parents had to keep a really low profile, and his friends had pretty much only seen them through car windows, or in the back of the stands at his football games. And they always wore face paint in the school colours.

Unfortunately, nobody could know about his relationship to Godric and Pam. They were prominent vampires in that part of Louisiana. As a matter of fact, they were away at the big vampire summit in North Dakota as part of Louisiana's delegation. He had seen them on the news the night before.

With Pam and Godric gone, and with his parents at rest and/or too busy drooling all over each other to pay attention (he hoped), he was going to have a party at their decoy house the next day. The one that was their legal residence. He'd invited a bunch of his friends, and they had invited a bunch more, and who knew how many more would show up?

Until then, he was trying like hell to shield his thoughts. If he started reciting the first however many digits of pi or all of the state capitals in reverse alphabetical order, his mother would know something was up for sure. He just tried to stay busy and keep his mind on other things. And hoped like hell his mother was keeping hers busy, too. And that she didn't see the future.

...

Sookie had, of course, allowed herself to be caught. That was the whole point of running in the first place. Her bikini top was in the hall, the bottoms were just inside the bedroom door, and she was snuggling up against Eric with her head on his chest. She was feeling all mushy. Happy, and well-fucked, and in love. She sighed. "You know, I think I'm the luckiest girl in the world."

He laughed, and she liked how it sounded, reverberating through his chest. He kissed the top of her head. "Sookie, you say that pretty much every single night."

She slapped his chest, but smiled and then kissed it. "Well, I mean it every single night. I have the sweetest, smartest, and most handsome son ever. I have a maker who is the best friend I could ever have. I have a Godric, who would do pretty much anything I asked."

Eric snorted. "You aren't kidding. A two thousand year old vampire, wrapped around your little finger."

"I have a big dumb brother who is very sweet and has grown into a wonderful husband and father and uncle. And brother, for that matter. And everyone is healthy and happy and nobody wants for anything."

There was a longish silence. Eric heard her try to stifle a giggle, and he could nearly feel her repressed laughter through the bond. Suddenly, she was on her back with Eric straddling her, holding her hands above her head against the mattress. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

She couldn't hold the giggles in any longer. She looked up, pretending to think. "Hmmm… Nope! I don't think so."

He narrowed his eyes at her, and she giggled some more.

"Ok, fine. I have the hottest, sexiest, sweetest husband in the whole wide world."

"And...?" He transferred both of her wrists into one hand and wiggled the fingers of the other at her. Vampire or not, she was still crazy ticklish.

He hadn't even touched her yet, and she was already laughing almost hysterically. "Ok! Ok! I have the hottest, sexiest, sweetest husband in the whole wide world with the universe's greatest ass!"

He leaned down and kissed her, smiling. "Yeah, you do."

She laughed again and he kissed her nose and let her hands go, still holding himself above her. She reached up and swept his hair back and tucked it behind his ear. "You know, I've been in love with you for more than twenty-five years."

He leaned down and kissed her again, slowly and softly this time, before he pulled back a little and looked into her eyes. "And I'll be in love with you for a thousand more. You're mine, Sookie. Forever."

She still got butterflies in her stomach when she was near him sometimes. She thought that she always would. Even if they were still around in a thousand years. And, if they were, they would still be together. She had no doubts about that. Or him. Not anymore. She leaned up and kissed him, and they made love again. And again. And again.

...

The next day, Leif let himself into their other house. As far as most humans were concerned, this was where they lived. It was definitely more modest than their nest, but it was still a nice house with a pool and hot tub and comfortable furniture and food in the refrigerator. It looked lived in.

It was early, not even noon, and everyone had been at rest when he'd left the house. It was a relief that his mom had slept in. He texted her that he'd be out with friends until late and not to wait up — one of their favourite inside jokes.

He'd bought a bunch of snacks and drinks, and other kids were bringing the beer. The jacuzzi was hot and the pool was clean and ready to go. He stripped down to his swim trunks and dove in. Nobody was supposed to show up for another forty-five minutes.

…

Sookie sat up and stretched and looked at the clock. Almost four thirty. She had really slept in! But she'd been busy until dawn. She ran her hand down Eric's back and over his butt. She didn't know if it was the universe's greatest one, but it was certainly the nicest one she'd ever seen. And she had to wait four more hours to have him again. Sometimes being a daywalker sucked.

She got dressed and went upstairs and warmed herself up a cup of blood, and then sat down at the kitchen table with the newspaper. Halfway through the obituaries, her mind flashed to their other house. It was full of drunk-off-their-asses teenagers and there were three police cars outside. And an ambulance. It looked like it was just past dusk.

Sookie sighed. She didn't know if this was going to happen tonight or sometime soon. But in the next flash, someone was being loaded into the ambulance. And Leif was talking to the cops in the back yard, looking guilty and upset and scared half to death.

She got up and grabbed her phone, which had been charging on the kitchen counter. Leif had texted that morning that he would be out until late. She thought about texting him to get his ass back home, but she figured that she had better take care of it herself. At least it looked like she had time.

She drained her cup and rinsed it out. She looked forward to her morning quiet time every day, no matter what time she rose, and hated having it interrupted. She got in her car and muttered to herself all the way there.

…

Leif was sitting at the patio table drinking beer and talking to his friends, Mark and Noah. There were probably forty or fifty other kids, spread out between the pool, the hot tub, the back yard, and inside.

He was more than a little buzzed, and was thinking about maybe finding someone to hook up with. He was sitting with his back to the house so he could have a good view of the girls running around and swimming and sitting in the hot tub in their little skimpy bikinis. He was trying to decide which one he'd hit on first.

Mark leaned forward and smacked Noah's chest with the back of his hand. "Holy shit. Who in the hell is that? She doesn't go to our school. I want to fuck her into next week. I call dibs!"

Leif started to turn around so he could see, and Mark kicked him hard under the table. "Jesus Christ, don't look! I don't want to scare her off."

Noah was really wasted. "There's no calling dibs on pussy, asshole. I think I'll give her a try." He tried to stand up, but swayed and sat down hard again. Leif and Mark both burst out laughing, and Noah put his head down on his arms on the table. "Fuck. I think I'm gonna puke."

Leif leaned forward and dropped his voice. "What's she doing? Is she really cute?" Mark struck out a hell of a lot more than he did. Maybe Leif could take a swing at her first.

Mark was staring at her over Leif's shoulder. "She's gorgeous. Smoking hot body. Just fucking amazing tits. I want her to smother me with them. I'd die a happy man." Mark sat up a little straighter. "Fuck! She just looked at us and is coming our way. Act cool!"

Sookie walked over and stood behind Leif. She crossed her arms. "Hello, boys." When Leif heard her voice, he closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped. He was in so much trouble. And he was going to beat the shit out of Mark for saying that stuff about his mother.

Mark leaned back with one elbow on the table. He stretched out his legs, trying to look smooth. "Hey, baby. Why don't you grab yourself a beer and sit down? We'd like to get to know you a little better. You can sit on my lap if you can't find a chair." He patted his thigh.

Sookie smiled pleasantly. She was half tempted to drop fang and scare the shit out of every last one of them. But she and Eric needed to stay on the down low until Leif turned eighteen and graduated from high school. She would have to settle for just scaring the shit out of her son.

"Well, gee… Mark, is it?"

"Yup. That's me!" It hadn't occurred to him that she hadn't asked him (or anyone else) his name.

"Well, gee, Mark, as tempted as I am by that wonderful offer, I'm afraid that I'm more than taken." She put her hands on Leif's bare shoulders. "Isn't that right, Leif?"

Leif swallowed hard and then nodded.

Mark looked from Leif to Sookie and back again, obviously confused. Sookie smiled a little wider, and Mark suddenly felt kind of uneasy. She made sure he was looking into her eyes. "Go home, Mark. You had a good time, but now you have to leave."

Mark nodded, and then stood up. He turned to Leif. "Hey, man. I had a good time, but now I have to leave." He left without speaking to anyone else.

Since there were so many people there, she had to finesse the glamour a little. The kids would get suspicious if their friends all started silently leaving one at a time right after talking to her. But in half an hour, there was nobody left except for her and her son.

Leif knew that he was in deep shit. But by the time all of his friends were gone, he was pissed off, too. He had heard the stories about his parents' first kiss and the night that his dad had been turned a million times. His father and Uncle Jason had been sixteen when they'd had the first party, just like Leif was! And his mother had barely been seventeen when she'd had the second party. And that was the night he was conceived! It wasn't like they were angels. She was being a complete hypocrite.

He was still sitting at the table with his arms crossed, staring daggers at a spot on the brick wall surrounding the pool yard. Sookie sat down across from him. Surprisingly, she didn't really look angry. Irritated, but not all that mad. He glared at the wall again.

"You know, you're not the one who should be pissed off in this scenario."

He was too mad to talk, so he did it in his head. It was a red jumbly mess, but she got the gist of it. She shook her head in exasperation, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, we had parties, Leif. Teenagers sneak around and have parties. They get drunk and smoke dope and have sex sometimes. Their parents try to keep them safe, but kids are gonna be kids. Keeping you all wrapped in bubble wrap doesn't work. You have plenty of freedom. I know you've been to parties and drank too much and had sex. And you don't see me running around like my hair is on fire, do you?"

Leif shrugged. He was starting to feel ashamed of himself again, and that made him even angrier.

"This house is in my name because I am your mother and I can pass for human. But what if something happened tonight? What if someone got hurt and one of the cops or paramedics who showed up was a vampire? Or a Were? They would know. They might wink and nod and fudge the books because of Godric, but he has almost as many enemies as he does friends. And I think it's a really piss poor idea to roll the dice. You know how careful we need to be. What if some nice clean-cut kid got hurt or worse at a party at a vampire's house? What then? What do you think would happen to me? To our family?"

That really hadn't occurred to him. He stopped looking at the wall and finally looked at her. His jaw was clenched and he was still really pissed, but most of him knew it was at himself, not his mother. "Nothing was going to happen! We were just having a good time! Everything was under control!"

She crossed her arms and just looked at him for what must have been an hour. It sure felt like it. And it also felt like he was slowly shrinking. He would be an inch tall if she kept looking at him like that for much longer.

She sighed. "Sometime this evening, three police cars were going to show up. Probably because of the unconscious kid being loaded into the back of an ambulance. There were girls crying. So were you, talking to the cops right over there." She pointed at the spot she had seen in her head.

"So. You are sixteen years old. I know that this is a lot to put on your shoulders, and I hate that about our situation. But this is how it is, and you are old enough to understand why, and do better."

His eyes were full of tears, but he still couldn't speak. She got up and walked around the table and stroked his hair. "I know you're sorry. I love you, too, baby."

He pushed his chair back and wrapped his arms tight around her waist, burying his face in her chest. She stroked his hair again and kissed the top of his head and held him as best she could until he calmed down. She kissed his head again and pulled away.

"Ok. Now, you'd better get busy. You have an awful lot of cleaning up to do. I am sure that I have a bathing suit upstairs, so I think I'll lie out by the pool. Your father will like that. And lord knows we're going to be here for a while."

His shoulders sagged again, but he nodded and got up and followed his mother inside. He was throwing empty cans and bottles into a garbage bag when his mom came downstairs in a bikini and blew him a kiss as she headed out into the back yard.

Leif sighed. And he was still going to find an excuse to beat the shit out of Mark.