Chapter 9
Dickheads & Debauchery
Brenda
Austin is standing inside the grand foyer beside a small black suitcase. His hands are crossed beneath his muscular chest, wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of khaki cargo shorts. The muscles around his face are tight, the color of his eyes a darker shade than the normal crystal blue I've aways loved. His gaze darts back and forth between Dylan and me, but his silence is the eerie calm before the storm.
Fuck.
I purposely stand in the middle, not sure how this will go down. Austin knows my relationship with Dylan, he was there as a friend through out it. But Austin isn't really the one I'm worried about. Even though Austin is far from some posh Brits I've met over the years, he isn't hot headed. I have never seen him get into a fight or try to be tough even though he is very athletic. Dylan on the other hand has been in fights, has been hot headed at times AND has shown jealousy, not just when we lived together in London with costars but this weekend in fact.
Dylan's ego and confidence led him to his success. He is every woman's erotic fantasy, even when we were kids. There was always something about Dylan, that made girls want him. Maybe it was his looks, the bad boy confidence without the cocky attitude, the broodiness or maybe it was all of them. Yet part of his so called bad boy trait is jealousy or that tough guy exterior. I didn't see it much in high school, the jealousy that is, but in our college and adult years I had.
I've seen it in the past in London with "cute" overly friendly cast mates. I watched Dylan react on his heightened emotions because I was kissing this cast mate or with them everyday. I remember Anna mentioning how "hot" it was, only for me to burst her bubble. It might be hot to read in the books or maybe even once in a while, but in real life it's a whole other story.
Dylan's reaction to me being engaged has been an on and off again issue this trip. We've come so far this morning to ease the tension between us, and I know Austin being here will push him over the edge. I know from experience, even though just as devastating it's a lot different to see your person with someone else than to hear about it.
I take a deep breath, finding my courage to get this over and done with, yet the more I procrastinate, the more panic overcomes me until I beg with my eyes for Valerie to help.
"Austin, you remember Dylan, don't you? He's part of the family." Valerie assures him, rushing through her words.
Neither one extends their hands to greet each other, and they KNOW each other. I dart my eyes back to Valerie for a lifejacket.
"I believe you are not actually kin." Austin questions in an arctic tone.
Dylan's wide stance is followed with a scoff, yet he keeps his opinion at bay.
"Well here in the states this gang is one big dysfunctional family." She laughs, Jesus Valerie. "It's great you're here, we weren't expecting you. The more the merrier. Anyway Dylan and I were just heading out to the pool. Right Dylan?"
Dylan doesn't move. His eyes are fixed on Austin and I want to cry inside. Valerie touches Dylan's arm, "Didn't you promise Gia one of Steve's famous sex on the beach?"
Her comment stirs jealousy even though I know she is making it up, making it look like Dylan has a girlfriend or something. I try to control my face when she says it as I feel Austin's eyes on me. Valerie grips Dylan's arm with a tug, but his expression is less than pleased as he clenches his teeth until she pulls with more force finally coercing him, and he finally leaves the room with her, with one more glance towards Austin and I.
I exhale silently, looking towards Austin. He is watching me furtively, his arms crossed with a cold stare creating tension between us. I prepare myself for what he is about to ask, unsure how to untangle myself from this mess.
"You didn't tell me Dylan would be here."
"It was last minute."
"How last minute?" He grits.
"Um…yesterday? Something about a cancelled business trip."
"You saw him the first time yesterday?" UGH
"No…probably a few days before that, he was staying at the same hotel as me." I answer flatly before I shift my gaze to him.
"The hotel?" He looks more mad, shit shit abort abort.
"It was all a big surprise really. It's not like we've had anything to do with each other." Ok that was sort of a lie but not at the same time.
"Well, you do." Austin jeers with a pinched expression, his eyes narrowing at me. "He's here."
"Like I said he arrived yesterday."
"And you didn't think to mention it to me?"
"Austin? What exactly is the problem?" My tone is raised, the exhaustion of barely any sleep last night testing my patience. "He's here, he's my brothers best friend and I've know him for years. Me and you haven't talked, kept missing each other. I texted you yesterday that we needed to talk." Ok so maybe that's not what I had planned to discuss but it sounds good. "So there really wasn't a conversation between us where I could bring it up."
Austin releases an ugly laugh, its intent is not humorous or to lighten the mood. "The problem is that he is your bloody ex-boyfriend that lived with you in your flat for three fucking years. And we haven't even addressed why the two of you were together just now?"
I wave my hand dismissively, "That was years ago." I remind him, then intake a sharp breath. "We've both moved on. I'm engaged to you. I don't understand why you need to make it a bigger deal than it is?" I say, trying to defuse the situation and convince him it's nothing, and maybe myself too.
"Why won't you answer me?"
I gaze at Austin, placing my hands in my pocket of my shorts. If he wants an answer, I'll give him one but he probably isn't going to like it.
"We went to breakfast. That's it. It was early, so we walked to the cafe not too far from here. If you can't trust me, then I have no words to make you change your mind, and maybe you should rethink putting this ring on my finger."
Austin runs his hands through his hair, letting out a sigh. 'You're right, bloody hell." He mumbles, lowering his head. "I'm sorry, it's been a long red eye, and I've had a shite week."
He reaches his hand out for me, and I touch his fingers for him to pull me into a deep kiss. I don't pull away, but it doesn't feel right kissing him here. I give it a moment before I place my hands on his chest to create some distance between us without offending him. "I missed you." He whispers and gives me a small smile.
"Why don't we spend time together, just the two of us?" I suggest, playing with the fabric of his t-shirt.
"No, we came here to spend time with your family and to meet these California friends." He demands, catching me by surprise. "And that's what we're going to do." Bossy much?
I show Austin to our room so he can set down his things and we both change into a bathing suits. I cover my bright red bikini with a gauze like white cover up. When we head out back, we run into my parents first who are surprised to see Austin beside me. Of course, my mom is quick to welcome him with a hug and my father smiles and shakes his hand. I glance over to Dylan and don't miss he is watching this exchange like a hawk with a pensive stare. My father looks pleased and I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
Austin's hand inches towards mine and I step away from him when I see my brother. Austin follows behind me, as I feel that same hand touch the small of my back.
"You remember Brandon…my brother."
Austin smiles a friendly smile and sticks out his hand, "Of course, how you doing mate?"
Brandon smiles and shakes his hand, "Good…glad you could make it. How was the big interview?"
"Rubbish" Austin chuckles as does Brandon, "But I think it went well."
"Good…good. Let me introduce you around." Thank you Brandon. I don't even have a voice right now, feeling Dylan's eyes on me is making me crazy.
Brandon leads the way and first introduces Austin to Steve. Steve smiles like the sweetie he is, "So this is the bloke who stole our Brenda's heart?" I hear Dylan sigh out loud. I don't know if anyone else did because I'm in tune to where he is but no one acts like they heard. "Wait…is it okay to say bloke?" He looks embarrassed for a minute until Austin gives him a firm hand shake with a laugh.
"Yes…that works." He smiles.
Brandon goes down the line, Janet, Maddie, Kelly, Donna, who moves in and hugs him, Andrea, Brian, David, Gia.
She giggles, "I love your accent."
I…hate…her.
And finally Dylan. "And you know Dylan already?"
Austin smiles fades, "Been a while mate." He nods once at him.
"Not long enough…mate." I close my eyes.
Brandon feeling the energy grabs two beers from the cooler, "Beer? Bren?" It's never a good thing when people are turning to alcohol at 9 o'clock in the morning.
I shake my head, Austin nods, taking it, "Cheers." He takes a long drag looking around. "This is a posh place."
"Isn't it? Jim went all out this weekend." Steve says nicely.
"It's brilliant." Austin smiles at me moving in closer. He wraps his arm possessively around my shoulder. Dylan stares, he swallows what looks like a large lump in his throat. He moves his sunglasses to his face. I stare at him, my face guilty, my eyes screaming apologies. I don't like this. I've been in his shoes, I don't want to do this. Gia grabs on to his arm but Dylan ignores her still staring at what looks like us but it's hard to tell now because of the sunglasses.
I smile and move out of Austin's space, "Valerie…didn't you say something about sex on the beach, should we go into the kitchen and see what we can come up with for the boat ride?"
I eye her, get the hint please get the hint.
"Right…sex on the beach. Yes."
"Oooooo I'll come too." Donna says happily.
"I'll be right back." Austin pulls me to him aggressively and plants a loud kiss on my cheek. As I turn he smacks my ass hard. I fumble looking straight at Dylan like a deer in headlights. I see his left hand clench into a fist and his right squeeze the empty can of coke he has in his hand. The aluminum making what sounds like a dramatized crunching sound.
Brandon starts talking to Austin thankfully as does Steve. I see David move towards Dylan, hoping he's going to calm him down. I link arms with Valerie, "Thank you." I whisper, she leans her head in.
"Fuck" she whispers.
"I know." I whisper back.
Donna and Kelly following behind.
When I get to the kitchen, I try to keep it together.
"You okay?" Valerie says out loud and I look at the girls all with similar expressions. "Donna knows about last night." I nod okay with that fact.
"David told me." She looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. Kelly was there so that's not a surprise.
"What am I going to do? You heard them out there, it's only a matter of time before one of the whips out their dicks and pees on me."
Donna and Kelly laugh out loud.
"Bren…it's okay, you're all adults." Valerie tries to calm me.
"Did you see Dylan out there, with the stares, huffing, the fist clenching and coke can! And Austin having to touch me every minute?" I'm on the verge of hysteria. This is awful.
"Look Bren…you're engaged to Austin, you aren't doing anything wrong!" She raises her brow, "Unless you don't want to be engaged to Austin?" I don't miss the hopeful look she is giving me. I know Valerie doesn't LOVE Austin, she's only met him twice and once he wasn't even my boyfriend but she says he is controlling. I don't get that vibe at all. I always just chalked it up to Valerie being protective.
"I don't like hurting Dylan." I whisper.
Donna moves toward the counter, "Brenda, if you're questioning this…then you need to figure out who you want?"
I stare dumbfounded, "What…Figure out who I want? Dylan doesn't want me back."
Valerie straight laughs and so does Kelly. Those bitches.
"Dylan might not like the fact I'm engaged to Austin, someone he knows who I swore up and down was just my friend cause at the time he was. But Dylan doesn't want me back."
Donna smiles, "You're serious? Oh my god she's serious, it's so cute." Donna looks back and forth between Kelly and Valerie.
"Denial." Valerie pours a red concoction that looks close to a sex on the beach.
"I hate you all."
"Were you not just outside? Dylan is shooting daggers, he's sighing loudly and moping, smashing innocent aluminum. Bren…he wants you back." Kelly says it like it should be obvious.
"He hasn't said that to me?"
"Oh my god Brenda, he just told you last night he would have asked you to marry him if it wasn't for Jim and he yelled at you saying you hurt him by agreeing to marry someone else. I know you're smarter than this. It's almost ridiculous how much you are clueless this trip." Valerie sips her drink and nods. She hands a little to Donna who takes a sip. "If Dylan didn't want you back, he wouldn't be jealous."
"Mmm. Make a big batch for the boat." Donna adds.
They act like they are telling me to take back a blouse. They taste Valerie's sex on the beach concoction and tell me to think about ending my relationship that I've had with someone for a year, actually over that including our friendship and break off an engagement like it's no big deal. Like it wouldn't completely throw my life into upheaval.
"Are you guys serious right now?" I bark. Mad at all of them.
Valerie looks up fro the huge pitcher she has just made. "You asked for help. So we gave it to you. If Austin is the love of your life marry him. But frankly Bren, if you're thinking about another man, you probably shouldn't marry him."
"I agree. You've committed to Austin but if you have any doubt as to whether he is what you want for the rest of your life, then you need to be honest with yourself."
It was probably the most logical thing I've ever heard Kelly say. Usually Kelly is judgey as fuck.
"Keep the ring though." And then there's Valerie. God love her.
"I guess I have some thinking to do." I tell them all before walking to peek in the back to make sure the boys aren't killing each other.
Dylan
I hate him.
I fucking hate him.
Want to punch him.
I can't punch him. Right? One good one then the guys would break it up. I mean I'm taller than him by a little. I work out. He definitely has more muscles but I could take him. English boys are not scrappy. I could be scrappy. What about just a kick to the balls. Him and Brenda could never have children if I kick him hard enough? Too much?
His arm is around her shoulders. My shoulders or my Bren's shoulders. I swallow the large lump that feels as though it may block my airway.
Infertile it is. Oh maybe it would cause impotence.
I reach for my sunglasses, covering my eyes. There is no way I can hide my glare right now.
My body vibrating with jealousy and anger. I've never felt this way before. Not like this.
Brenda literally looks like she wants to crawl in a hole and hide. Her expression guilty and uncomfortable. Her eyes screaming I'm sorry. I know her, she doesn't like this position she is in. I feel a little sorry for her. His arrival was a shock, that much is clear. The look on both Valerie and Brenda's face concluded that.
Brenda is trying to get Valerie to make some bullshit sex on the beach. Her fight-or-flight response in high alert. I look at Austin who seems completely oblivious to Brenda's discomfort and it surprises me. I can read her expression, body language and even her tone from a mile away. He isn't in tune to her as I am.
The girls move to head into the kitchen but not before Austin grabs her roughly planting an annoying kiss on her cheek. I step forward, feeling Steve's hand on my arm. I feel his eyes on me but my eyes are locked in on that hand that grabbed her. It's not sweet or fleeting, it's primal and possessive, and I don't like it. Then the fucker slaps her on her ass in front of everyone. My fist clenches tightly, I feel my fingernails dig into my palm. The other hand joining it only too realize I have an empty can of coke I have just finished in it. The sound crunches and I find myself wishing it was his neck.
Brandon's eyes are on me briefly before him and Steve ask Austin about school. What kind of doctor he wants to be. I feel Gia's hand on my arm, forgetting she's even there. I look at her.
"Are you alright?" She asks softly.
I will myself to calm down, swallowing hard and giving her a nod. Then David is next to me.
"Excuse me Gia." He motions to head to the bar which is a good 10 feet away from where Austin is. I follow him quietly knowing may rage is teetering on the ledge right now.
"Here." He pours a shot of bourbon setting it in front of me.
I shake my head, "I don't want to drink."
David nods, grabbing the shot and taking it back for me. "I don't know how you don't right now. I don't like him." He says honestly. I look up at him surprised. And then the asshole comes over with Steve. I see Brandon heading into the house, maybe to check on his sister and I know Steve well enough to know, he won't leave me alone with him.
Austin smiles, grabbing my shoulder, acting like I'm his buddy, but I feel the pressure, a warning. "Bloody hell, look at the baps on that one." I step away from the douche bag and glare at him. "Please tell me one of you blokes are shagging that?" I follow his eyes and see he is talking about Gia.
Steve laughs, it's fake sounding, he holds up his hand pointing to his wedding ring. "Sorry man…married."
"Same." David smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"As will you be soon." Steve adds.
Austin looks at me with a laugh, "True." He shakes his head with a whistle, "Tell me lad to lad, how is it that in California all the females are all so…smoking hot?"
He looks directly at me, with a cocky shit eating grin. I stare at him. I don't remember Austin being this much of an asshole but then again whenever he was around he was kissing Brenda's ass. Maybe he is like this with his guy friends. I don't care, he is blatantly disrespecting her by talking about other women and I know it's because of me. I mean in his mind he has her and I don't. To me it's classless especially because we aren't his friends you could joke with, we are all Brenda's friends, and it makes him look like a huge chauvinistic dick head.
"Maybe something in the water." Steve says uncomfortably but I don't take my eyes off this mother fucker right in front of me.
My mouth lifts into a cocky smirk as I glare, I shake my head and move around him, my eyes following his until I past him completely. A warning too, don't fuck with me. All Austin does with that warning is laugh.
Brenda
Everyone arrives at the marina just in time. Thomas goes through some rules that are standard boat safety. I half listen, noticing Dylan and Gia are nowhere to be seen.
After Thomas is done speaking he smiles a friendly smile, "Let's have some fun." The parents talk and disappear to the other side of the yacht and when the coast is clear.
"Number one rule of the day," Steve announces, "what happens on the yacht stays on the yacht."
Everyone in the gang laughs, including Austin that hasn't left my side since I went to the kitchen with the girls.
"That's what you said about Vegas." Brandon laughs.
"And our trip to Palm Springs." David adds.
"And Hawaii, Big Bear, Yosemite and two weeks ago." Kelly smiles.
"All right all right, so I have a big mouth. My wife isn't complaining, that's for sure."
Janet purses her lips, annoyed but also blushes. Andrea smiles wide and pats her shoulder while laughing softly.
"Steve, a big mouth does nothing for the lady garden." Andrea smiles.
"Right." Valerie joins in, "It's only good for giving head."
"Are we really calling it lady garden?" Kelly shakes her head.
I fall into a fit of laughter. I do miss these people. So much more than I thought possible. I vow right then and there to make it a point to reach out more. Visit more. Maybe even plan to have yearly reunions.
Another perfect day in Malibu, with blue skies and barely any wind, it's predicted to be a smooth ride. When we all get comfortable, I notice Andrea is already taking sea sick tablets. I wrap my arm around her bringing her into my side for a quick one armed hug. She laughs and shrugs. Andrea still the prepared, smart girl I know and love.
Not long after we leave the marina, I pull Valerie aside when Austin is busy with the guys.
"Where's Dylan?"
"He had some important work thing to attend to so he stayed back at the house."
Valerie continues to pour sex on the beach.
"And, um, Gia? Where is she?"
"Not feeling well her mom said."
"Not feeling well?" I repeat as my mouth slackens, "What exactly is wrong with her?"
"Migraine, headache, something like that." Valerie says nonchalantly.
My chest begins to cave, followed by a sudden pounding inside my head. "Where is she then?" I already know the answer.
"Back at the house."
"So, you're telling me that Dylan and Gia are back at the house, alone?" I sputter, momentarily beyond words.
Valerie looks up from her pouring, it hitting her too. She scrunches up her face only to relax it seconds later.
"To answer the real question you are asking me Bren, Yes, they are alone, and I don't know if it was intentional. She obviously wants to fuck him and it comes to no surprise since she's practically thrown herself onto him in front of everyone since the moment he got here. I'm sorry Bren." She looks at me sympathetically.
I bite down on my bottom lip, hurt by the truth that I always count on from Valerie. Where Donna would come up with every benefit of the doubt scenario, Valerie says it like it is. What did I expect Dylan to do? Come out with us so he can watch Austin wrap his arms around me and kiss my lips. I knew that was unfair and difficult to see, but it doesn't erase the jealousy and hurt of knowing Dylan and Gia are all alone.
And the truth is from what I know, Dylan is single and can damn well do whomever he pleases.
"I need a drink."
"You've come to the right person. How strong do you want it?" The drinks are pre-made, but Valerie has a bottle of grey goose in her hand willing to make it stronger.
"Anything to erase the thought Val," I mumble beneath my breath.
It started with one drink, then over-eating on the delicious lunch served. The rest of the afternoon however became a hazy blur. Between Valerie's drinks and the intense sun, I found myself in a drunken stupor. I don't even remember docking, nor how I got home. I think I had a dream Dylan rescued me and brought me to bed. His smell and soft voice embracing me. He whispered I still love you as he kissed my forehead.
Wishful fucking thinking. Stupid dreams.
Dylan
I spend the afternoon on the phone with lawyers, my executive team and Lau's office. Lau is turning up the pressure, but I refuse to back down. I told everyone that was why I stayed back today, having work to get done but really I needed anything to get my mind off Brenda and Austin. Everyone is on the yacht and frankly I couldn't do it. I couldn't be literally trapped on the ocean on a vessel, no matter how large watching Austin and Brenda together. It physically gutted me and I could not be responsible for not throwing the fucker over board. It didn't help that Gia had the same idea. Claiming she had a headache, when she had no such thing. She honestly walked into the living room butt ass naked sating she thought no one was home. That supposed headache didn't stop her from offering me a blow job while I worked and flaunting her vagina in my face.
I offended her by declining her offer for a quick fuck, pulling the good ole "I've got something urgent that needs attention." From there on, I took my laptop and sat in my bedroom with the door locked so I could get some fucking peace and quiet.
At about 1:30ish, I heard everyone return to the house. I walked out of my bedroom and into the foyer just in time to see David carrying what looked like a sloppy drunk Brenda. I don't see anyone else around, David looking to be the last one into the house. I hear in the distance voices and laughter in the yard.
My hand goes to Brenda's head, "What the hell?" I say softly.
David gives me a smile, "She's wasted."
"Obviously. Here." I reach out and I'm thankful at this moment it's David carrying her and not Austin or even Brandon. David gladly places her in my arms bridal style. "Where's the fuck wad?" He can't be bothered with taking care of his drunk fiancé?
David chuckles, "He is having a cigar with Thomas and Steve. Bren could barely walk off the boat. Donna told me to help her. Brandon was tending to Kelly. Sun, Valerie's sex on the beach and the ocean, didn't bode well for these girls." He continues to laugh.
"Thanks David, I'll put her in bed." He nods and takes off towards the back of the house towards the voices.
"I got fuck wad." He calls back and I smile. I knew he meant he would hold him off from coming back here, at least for a few minutes. I kiss her temple softly and carry her easily down the hall. I place her on her bed, the room filled with the smell of Brenda. I sit beside her and stare at her. I push her hair from her pretty face. She is wearing a tiny red bikini, with a white gauze like see through cover up. Her skin pink from being in the sun this weekend. Her eyes blink slowly, she is on the verge of passing out.
"Dylan." She whispers.
"Yeah baby, get some sleep." My hand cups her cheek. My thumb tracing her bottom lip slowly as she pouts. God I'm crazy about this girl.
I lean down and press my lips to her forehead placing a long kiss against it. My nose tracing her hair line, breathing her in. "I still love you." I whisper.
Her hand comes up sloppily and grips my shirt, "Lay with me." She breathes, slurring.
I close my eyes, wishing I could. Wanting to more than anything. To just lay in bed behind her and hold her. Breathing her in, feeling her warm little body against mine.
My hand finds hers, intertwining our fingers. My thumb caressing her hand as I stare down at it. Her engagement ring mocking me. I move her hand to my lips kissing it gently. "Just rest Bren." I get up knowing I can't stay in here, it's only a matter of time before Austin is done with that cigar and may come check on his fiancé, a least I fucking hope he would have the decency too. I lean down kissing her once more on the temple, slowly making my way out of her room, closing the door behind me.
Fuck, losing Brenda was always difficult, but this…this time feels agonizing and I don't know how I'm going to get through it.
Oh man, poor Dylan and Brenda. I have to first say, especially for those international readers. I've been to England, the people being the nicest people ever. I had to make Austin an asshole. I had to have you guys hate him, and I had to have the gang being put off by him too. English people for the most part are proper. Not everyone is the queen of of England but Austin I guess is suppose to come off like some immature jock blimey asshole. It's tough because the British are polite people. I remember my visit to a southern town in England, I went to a wedding, and after we all congregated in the hotel bar until late in the night. This cute British guy, my age which was early twenties at the time was the wedding DJ that night. He hung out with us and we talked for over an hour. Flirting and having drinks. I'll never forget he leaned in and asked me, "You want to go upstairs and fuck?" I was SHOCKED! Lol here in America I hadn't had some one so bluntly ask me and tell me his intentions so outright. At the time I was slightly offended and polity declined lol Later laughing with my girlfriends, thinking wow and here I thought English boys were polite. They are but it doesn't mean that all of them are or tha they aren't boys. I laughed with my sister and old her, if he wasn't so blunt and maybe had a little bit more game, I may have fooled around with him. Shit I was single and young and on vacation but I guess my idea of Austin is more like that guy. I just didn't want to offend any English readers. England is a wonderful country and I had visited France and Italy that same trip and by far the British were the nicest, especially to us tourists. Anyway that's my apology, we're suppose to HATE Austin. He isn't the one for Bren. Next up, same night engagement dinner and the climax of the story. I know what I'm planning, but I'd like to hear what you guys think. Should Bren say to hell with it and jump Dylan's bones if she has the chance, should she be faithful and not? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Hit review my loves. Working on the climax.