Chapter 17

The Truth Will Set You Free

Brenda

I pull down the mirror located in the visor of Dylan's car. I look at my face, I look horrendous. I quickly wipe the mascara from under my eyes and try to fix my face as best I can before heading into such a public place. Times like this hotel living is annoying. I exit the Porsche and head into the lobby, grabbing my phone and dialing Valerie.

"Hello." Her voice rings clearly.

"Where are you?" I try not to cry.

"On Rodeo…what's wrong?" Valerie's tone is questioning, seeing through my facade.

"Dylan is a douche." I simply reply.

Valerie laughs, "You just realized? Where are you? I'm finishing up."

"I'm at the hotel…in the lobby. I was hoping you were here because the last place I want to go is the room. No scratch that the last place I want to go is my parents but the suite a close second."

Valerie chuckles, "Go into the bar, get yourself a stiff drink and I'll be there in twenty…thirty if traffic is shit."

"Okay." I say sadly. I look around seeing the hotel bar off to my left. I move towards it.

"I'll be there soon."

"K."

We hang up and I walk over to the bar, I plop down on an empty stool and toss my purse on the shiny black surface. The bartender looks to be in his mid twenties, maybe a few years younger than myself. He was tall, green eyes, black hair, tanned skin and gorgeous. My guess was he bartended part time and was an actor. This was LA of course, half the wait staff in all the restaurants were people trying to make it.

"What can I get you?" He smiled, two prominent dimples shown on either side of his pretty face.

"Old fashioned." I tried to smile but I knew it didn't reach my eyes.

"You okay?" He asked me with a tilt of his head.

"Not really." I breathed. He nodded, turning to retrieve the bourbon and quickly got to work on my drink.

He places the drink in front of me, "I don't know if it will help or not, but I'm here if you need to talk."

I glanced at his name tag, "Thanks, Matthew. I really appreciate it."

"My friends call me Matt…first time in LA?" He picked up a glass and wiped it.

I shook my head, "No…I sort of grew up here."

He smiled, "Sort of?"

I took a sip of my drink, savoring the flavors. "I grew up in Minnesota, but my family and I moved here my sophomore year in high school. Went to West Beverly, CU one year and left to study acting at RADA. I'm only visiting now…from London." I don't know why I divulged that much but the one thing I learned in life was bartenders are weirdly good listeners.

Matt smiled, "I went to West Beverly. Class of '95."

"93." I answered with a nod.

"Go Wildcats." He said loudly with a smile.

I laugh snorted, swallowing my bourbon, "Woo." I said, sticking my arm up with little enthusiasm which made Matt laugh.

He leaned his arms on the bar in front of me, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What happened today?"

"What makes you think something happened?"

Matt titled his head, he took his index finger and tapped his temple, "Bartenders intuition."

I sigh heavily, my attention drifting to where my hand wrapped around my drink. Instinctively, my grasp tightened. "My boyfriend is an ass hat." I tilted my head back finishing off my drink.

Matt chuckled, "An ass hat huh? I've heard worse."

"Tell me Matt…do you have a girlfriend?"

"I do not."

"But you have?"

"Of course."

"You must see a lot of beautiful women working at a bar."

"Oh yeah." He nodded that it was obvious.

"How did your girlfriend take that?"

Matt took a deep breath, "Sometimes not the best."

I nod, "I rest my case."

Matt made me another drink without me asking, as he set it down in front of me he looked at me with sympathy, "So your boyfriend is around beautiful women and you aren't happy?"

"No…my boyfriend fucks beautiful women and I'm not happy."

"Damn…sorry." Matt mumbled, taking a deep breath, "That is shitty."

I held my glass out to him in a mock toast, "Welcome to my life."

"I've been cheated on before. It was the worst." He tilted his head towards my drink, "This round is on the house."

"Better pour yourself one to Matt. I don't like to drink alone. And…he didn't cheat on me…well not in a long time just…he's an asshat."

Matt chuckles, pours himself a shot of straight bourbon and shoots it back like a pro.

An hour later, I was drunk as hell. At this point I had 3 men around me laughing at my story about the one time I walked into the wrong dressing room and saw the director and my understudy getting it on.

"Jesus." I heard a familiar voice to my right.

"Valerie!" I sang, "Come meet my friends." She laughed setting down her purse next to mine.

"This is Matt…the bestest bartender in the world, I can say that because I live in London." He smiled with a nod, "And this is Fred, Greg and Pete. Everyone this is Valerie my beautiful bestie." I lifted my hand out sloppily.

Valerie pursed her lips together with a small smile and took a seat. "Matt…how many of those has she had?"

I piped in before Matt can, "Enough to not think about asshats." I giggled and the rest of the guys laughed with me. "Matt get my friend a martini…dirty. Val likes hers dirty."

Valerie laughs, "Kettle if you have it."

"We do." Matt answered, he began to make Val's drink as I looked at her.

"You okay?" She looked into my eyes.

"No." I shake my head carelessly, tears pricking my eyes. "Did you know Dylan was with Kelly, after we broke up?" I ask her honestly.

Valerie nodded knowing where this was going, "I did…but to my understanding it was awhile ago. So this is what this about then, Kelly?"

"And Brittney." I growl.

"Who's Brittney."

So I explain, I start at the beginning telling her about my first visit to Dylan's office, the elevator, the rude secretary, the office sex, then everything that happened today. Valerie soon caches up with me drink wise and another hour goes by as we get to know our new friends.

Dylan

I stand looking at Jim, "What happened?" He asks sincerely. His eyes are still that dark shade of brown but he doesn't yell…yet.

I motion for him to follow me to my office. The scene dying down as people carry on doing their jobs.

We enter my office and Jim closes the door. "What are you doing here Jim?" My tone less than happy.

He takes a seat, "Cindy wanted me to talk to you about the guest list. But maybe I shouldn't even bother?"

I turn to look at him like he's insane, "She's upset but I'm still asking her to marry me."

Jim takes a deep breath, "What happened son?"

So I tell him, at least as much as I know. There is still the mystery of the office gossip thing but I'm not going to worry about that right now. After I explain everything, and I mean everything, even Brittney I look to my future father-in-law for advice.

Jim laughs, yes he laughs. "Oh son…did I ever tell you about Dottie?"

I shake my head, "Dottie? Never heard of her."

"When you guys were in your senior year, I had this amazing secretary named Dottie." I smirk, "She was the best. She anticipated anything and everything I needed before I even knew I needed it. Between us, I haven't had a secretary that good since her. And let's add in the fact that she was gorgeous and you can see the dilemma."

I lean my arms on the desk, "So…what did you do?"

"Well between us, I fantasized about this women. She was younger probably your age now and at that time I was in my forties. Half the time I thought she was coming on to me."

My brows lift, "Was she?"

Jim shakes his head with a chuckle, "No." He laughs. "One day she tells me she can't be my secretary anymore, that her boyfriend proposed and they're moving to Florida."

I laugh out loud.

"Cindy was away at the spa in Montecito with the girls, as she was worrying if I was being faithful, poor Jackie found out that Mel was cheating on her. It put things in perspective."

"Oh I remember that, I spent half the weekend at the pit trying to decide between Kelly and Brenda. Picturing what my life would be like with them. Obviously I didn't choose correctly."

Jim looked at me with sympathy, "What sets the good men from the bad is the fact that we learn from our mistakes. Tell me something Dylan, when you pictured your life with Brenda what did you see?"

I thought back to that time, I chuckle remembering my daydream, which at the time scared the 18 year old me but now, it felt perfect. "I pictured coming home from the office, to a house full of noise and kids. Five to be exact, with one on the way." Jim smiles at me, raising his brows.

"Look Dylan, the past is the past, there are always going to be gorgeous women out there. I must have reassured Cindy a million times she had nothing to worry about and no matter how beautiful Dottie was, I would have never had the balls to act on those fantasies." He shrugs, "When you love someone and they actually love you back, there is nothing like that in the entire world. And what will set us apart from the Mel Silver's of the world, is the simple fact that we won't act on these fantasies. We reassure our girls that…we'd be nothing without them, which is true. Cindy is my entire world and frankly the thought of a fantasy coming true and a lifetime without her…there is no comparison."

"I get it." I nod, "This thing with Kelly, it won't go away easy,"

Jim shakes his head, "No…it won't."

"And about Brittney, I can't take the position away from her. So I'm not sure what to do about that."

Jim smiles, "You put her on another floor, and you get an ugly secretary."

I crack up, "Jim!"

"I'm kidding, the office stuff will work out. Brenda will trust you and until then you worship the ground she walks on and spoil the hell out of her…the Kelly thing, you be honest with her."

I take a deep breath and nod. "Thanks Jim." My phone beeps beside me, "Excuse me a second."

I see the text from Valerie.

Valerie: You are an asshat. But…I'm taking care of Brenda.

I look at the picture that's attached, it's Brenda with her arms around two unknown men, she's smiling as they lean into her. Matt the bartender from the Bel-Age behind her, resting his chin on top of Brenda's head.

"Da Fuck?" I say out loud.

"Problem?"

"Yeah…you can say that?" I turn my phone around and show Jim. He laughs out loud.

"Well…it looks like payback is a bitch." He replies keeping his smile.

"I got to go." I get up hastily and move towards the door.

"Dylan?" I turn and look at Jim with a sigh.

"My daughter loves you. As far back as I can remember, you've always held her heart. Be honest, be loving, don't go in there being a jealous maniac."

I nod. For his benefit, but I can't promise it.

It takes me a fucking hour to get to the hotel from downtown. As I make my way in, I hear a rowdy group coming form the bar. I enter, seeing exactly what I had envisioned. Brenda smiling, she's drunk as hell, men around her, hanging on every word coming out her mouth. Valerie who is next to Bren, eyes me and smiles widely. I know she sent that text and picture on purpose. She knew I would lose my shit and come running. She winks at me, I in return roll my eyes playfully. I walk over slowly eavesdropping.

"Here Brenda…take my number. Call me before you leave town."

Brenda giggles taking the napkin from him, stuffing it down the front of her cleavage. I'm quiet leaning on the bar, Brenda hasn't noticed me but Matt does.

"What will it be McKay?"

I shake my head, "Nothin…maybe my girl back." I tilt my head towards them.

Matt looks towards Brenda, then back at me, "You're the asshat?" He smiles.

I smirk with a nod, "Yeah…so I've heard."

Matt whistles, "She is something…I tell you. You've been together long?"

"Matt…I've been in love with that woman since I was 16 years old."

His expression surprised.

"I gave her water and a couple Advil." He leans in speaking quietly, "She's wasted."

"I see that. Thanks Matt."

"No problem."

I move towards them, turning to the side to slide between Valerie and some guy, "Miss Walsh?"

She looks at me, eyes glassy, "Oh look who it is, Mr. McKay. The asshat!"

The group laughs, my eyes don't leave Brenda's. "Let's go home." I reach for her hand, she pulls it away with force.

"Bren…come on." I say sternly.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." She says flatly.

"Listen dude…she says she doesn't want to come with you." The guy who gave Brenda his number, his hand pushes at my chest. I'm gonna kill this fucker.

Matt is there pulling him back, knowing me well. I ignore the asshole and reach into Brenda's cleavage, pulling out the douche's number. I wad it in my hand and toss it at the waste of space.

"Hey." Brenda says annoyed.

"You don't need it." I growl.

"Maybe I do." She gets closer to me. She smells of bourbon and her perfume.

"Maybe you don't." I say firm before I bend quickly, wrapping my arms around Brenda's thighs, lifting her and throwing her over my shoulder.

"Dylan!" She screeches. I ignore her.

Valerie is laughing, I look at her, "You good?"

She giggles louder with a nod. I look at Matt, who is still holding the douche back, who is more than angry, "She settle her bill?"

He shakes his head, "Put it on my tab, and whatever Valerie is drinking while she's here." With that I leave the bar, ignoring the looks of the patrons and the guests at the hotel, carrying a drunk ass Brenda through the lobby. She doesn't fight me, which I find really odd so when we get into the elevator, I place her on her feet.

"Neanderthal." Brenda mumbles as she leans drunkenly against the wall of the elevator.

"Damn right." I agree. If she thinks I'm a caveman, so be it. Brenda makes me insane and primitive so it's a good description.

"You finished throwing a tantrum?" I ask her.

"You finished being a whore?"

I stare at her as the elevator dings. "Come on." I reach my hand out to her, a peace offering.

She reluctantly takes it and follows behind me as I lead her to our room. I grab my keycard swiping it across the handle. "I'm still mad at you." Brenda slurs, her eyes closing in a long blink as she falls into the wall.

"I'm not thrilled with you either." I say truthfully.

I lead her to the bed, sitting her upon it. My hands reach for her dress, lifting it over her head. She lays back comfortably as I unbuckle her heels, dropping them to the floor.

I sit next to her, my eyes sweeping down her body, as she lays in a matching bra and panty set. She is perfection. My eyes settle on her face. No other woman can make me as crazy as she does. I cup her cheek, "Get some sleep, we'll talk when you wake."

I go to move and she grabs my shirt, "Do you love me?" She says with her eyes closed.

"More than I've ever loved anybody."

"Do you love Kelly?"

My thumb moves across her lip, "No…I don't."

Brenda hums happily, she passes out a moment later. I leave Brenda to sleep off her day drinking. I work a little but can't concentrate on anything but Brenda, her anger, her sadness and our impending conversation.

Hours pass and I order up food. Brenda will need it after her drinking binge. I open the door for the room service and tip him after he sets up. I make a plate, french fries, cheese burger, just about anything greasy before heading to the bedroom.

Brenda is sitting up in bed, rubbing her face when I walk in. She looks up at me, sadness in her expression.

"You need to eat something."

She is silent as she reaches for the french fry, chewing it silently.

"I'm sorry."

She nods, "You usually are."

"When I left London…I came back here a complete mess. I was drinking and then it led to heroine." Brenda watches me, I look down not being able to take the disappointment in her eyes. "There was a lot of stuff that I hadn't dealt with since I lived in LA. My car windshield still had bullet holes from when Toni died. I was forced to leave you. Brandon wasn't speaking to me. I met a girl…her name was Gina. We saw each other on and off for about a year. I treated her terrible, but she was the kind of relationship I guess I needed at the time. I grew to care about her, she had as many issues as I did. It was nice being loved, even though, I didn't love her back, I didn't let her in, not really anyway. During those two years I connected with Kelly again. She kept me at arms length for the most part but she was there. Everyone was really…I got closer to David and Steve, they were like a family since I didn't have you anymore. When I got clean, I bought a business and tried to put my money to good use, building community centers, things like that. I still had the contract from your dad that he would help me get my business off the ground but I was so angry at him and resentful…I didn't reach out. I found out my father was alive." Brenda gasped covering her mouth, "He was in the witness protection program, staged the whole explosion, had a whole other family."

"Oh my god Dylan." Brenda whispered.

"I forgave him, but let him go too. He would have gave it up for me but…I was grown. I didn't need him anymore. Kelly helped through that."

"I'm so sorry…I didn't know."

"I know you didn't." I shook my head, it wasn't her fault.

"I tried to get Kelly back. Promised her commitment, something she knew deep down I wouldn't give her. I didn't tell anyone what really happened in London and why I left. Kelly finally gave in at Donna and David'a wedding. After she got fucked over by her fiancé." I looked at Brenda. She is listening, tears in her eyes.

"I called Richard, your dad's lawyer and cashed in on that contract. Kelly and I saw each other for about year, off and on, you know how we are." I shrugged shyly, "the idea of us was always better than the real thing."

Brenda wipes her tear quickly with a nod, "I wasn't faithful. I slept with Brittney, and worked really fucking hard to build my company form the ground up. I ran into Brandon in DC. We hadn't talked in years. We hashed a lot of our stuff out. He told me how much he regretted calling off his wedding. He was angry I dated her again. He loved her still. So from that meeting, I vowed that…I wouldn't touch her ever again. I didn't love her, that much was obvious. Brandon was crazy about her and Kelly was crazy about him. It was time grow up, stop pretending. Stop taking the easy road. So I broke it off with her for the last time, it wasn't very serious at the end anyway. And so…here I am."

Brenda was quiet. Her eyes looking into mine. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "Kelly has always been a…" I'm trying to think of the right wording. "I guess just there? Second choice? A possibility that never worked. We didn't have the connection, we didn't have the trust and understanding." I take a deep breath, staring into her eyes. "She wasn't you."

I reached for her hand and to my surprise she let me, "I know I hurt you. I know hearing we had been together after London brings up old wounds. You listening and talking to me is more than I even deserve Brenda but you have to know that I love you more than I ever thought I'd love anybody. There is no comparison, my feelings for you are so intense and true. Your the love of my life baby."

"I'm sorry I caused a scene at your office. When I visited that first time, I overheard Brittney telling two other women about you. It was them and Tabitha…it just built up." She admits.

"I don't work directly with Brittney, like I said I haven't seen her around the office at all since that night. Technically, I'm her bosses bosses boss. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

Brenda nodded, and then took a deep breath. "Kelly is definitely an old wound but I understand. When you left London, you were alone. I understand the need to create a connection just to move past us. I did the same thing with Austin eventually. I was tired of the disconnect, tired of missing you. I get it I do, it just hurt because it was her, and I know that isn't fair." Brenda moved closer to me, our foreheads gently presses together, "I want to trust you Dylan."

Keeping my forehead cuddled against her's, my hand runs down the back of her head, cupping her neck, "You can trust me."

She pulls back lookin deeply into my eyes. "I'll try." She whispers.

"That's all I ask." I respond.

I softly press my lips to hers. What started out soft quickly transformed into something desperate and uncontainable. Desire hummed inside my chest, warming it's center all the way to the tips of my toes. Brenda curled her arms around my neck, I parted my lips to deepen the kiss. When my tongue massaged hers, she moaned with absolute delight. Electricity flowed through my muscles, filling my body with need. My fingers caressed the length of her spine before tightly fastening around her waist. I lifted her slightly and her hold on me tightened in response. Mouth to mouth, tongue to tongue, I moved her to lay down as I settled in-between her perfect legs.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry." I pleaded in a desperate whisper.

"Me too." She whispered back.

Cradling her face in my hands, I softly pressed my lips to hers again. My mouth ghosted over her cheek and moved to her neck. I sucked hard enough to elicit a moan from her but not hard enough to leave a mark.

"Show me how much you love me Dylan." Brenda whispered into my ear.

I looked into her eyes and smiled, "I can do that." I replied. The returning smirk Brenda donned elected a rush within me. She needed me to worship her, make love to her and that was an easy request to give her.

Brenda

Hearing Dylan out had been difficult. The mention of whoever Gina was and Kelly was painful, but not as painful as I expected it to be. Dylan sounded lost when he returned here. He claimed he was a mess. Losing me and my family was always trying on him. I had seen it in high school too. When Dylan lost the circle of trust with my father, he pulled away from me. Dylan was used to being abandoned. I know his fear of it had him building walls around him to protect himself. We were the only family Dylan truly had and we'd abandoned him again. Could I hold a grudge that Dylan turned to someone new or the familiar when he moved back here. No, I couldn't. I understood it. I had done the same. Dylan was devastated that the man I was engaged to be married too was Austin, someone we argued about, someone I assured him had no chance with me. Sure it's not the same because Kelly and Dylan had hurt me in the past, but I still got it.

Hearing Jack McKay was alive broke my heart. Losing his father changed him. It devastated him to a degree I had never seen from him and to find out it was all for nothing. That Jack left on purpose to save himself. I can't imagine what that did to him all over again. All Dylan ever wanted was a relationship with his father. He yearned for it. To get it back, to have it taken away, only to find out it was for nothing and then having to let him go again. It was enough to make anyone lose hope in everything.

I wish I would have known, I wish I have been there for him.

With a hand supporting his weight the other reached around to unclasp my bra. It came undone easily, and he slowly removed it from my chest. His mouth fixed on my breast in the next breath. The sensation of his tongue gliding over my flesh was almost too much to take. My spine curled backwards as his mouth moved to the other nipple. I clawed at him, needing him closer. An eternity seemed to pass as he pulled my panties downward, slowly licking the length of my leg. When I was finally bare beneath him, Dylan stopped to stare at me.

"You're so beautiful Bren." He stated softy, his hands caressed every inch of me before spreading my thighs open.

Lowering his head, my muscles contracted with pleasure as his tongue met with my sensitive flesh. "Don't stop." I begged, my hands grasping the sheets beneath me. A delicious mixture of tension and bliss filled me from the inside out. He continued to taste me, licking in slow, delectable circles.

"Dylan." His name escaped as a gasp, eliminating the silence surrounding us.

Immediately, he moved to hover over me. He leaned down pecking my lips softly before pushing his pants off. He reached behind him, lifting his shirt, pulling it over his head, tossing it on the ground. His eyes holding mine in an intense stare, he slid into me, filling up every open inch of my body. Moaning against his neck, my teeth grazed long his flesh.

"Fuck baby." He groaned, the sound echoing in my ear.

Over and over again, he rocked into me. His eyes locked on mine, staring at me with each thrust of his hips.

Tangling his fingers into my hair, Dylan's mouth consumed mine once more. We moved in unison, the feel of him intoxicating my senses. This man loved me, I felt it in my soul. He longed for my touch as much as I longed for his. My nails scratched the length of his back as he increased our pace.

Sweat was starting to bead where our chests brushed against one another. He held his weight on one elbow. As the other hand found mine. He intertwined our fingers, moving them above my head. My hand gripping his harder as he pushed me closer to the edge.

"Oh god." I gasped, jerking my hips.

"You're so close." He whispered against my lips, picking up speed.

"So close." I breathed. His breathing grew ragged, like mine. Pressure built slowly for while until the sensation intensified and eventually burned through every inch of me. My body curled toward him, craving release, as the most intense feeing of ecstasy I'd ever known rained over my skin.

Praise spilled from my lips, and Dylan was quick to devour my mouth with his. With each second that passed, I was lost to another swell of pleasure. Dylan thrust inside me one final time, his body shuddering as he came. He groaned loudly, muttering a list of profanities as he rode out his release.

We stayed still, catching our breaths for what seemed like a long time. Soon he rested his body against mine. His full weight, delighting me. His head resting between my breasts. My fingers ran through the hair on the back of his head. I kissed his hair gently as he kissed the space in between my breasts. He rolled off me carefully and when his back hit the mattress he pulled me to his chest.

Silence surrounded us for several minutes. Dylan's hand softly caressed my side as my fingers ran through the hairs on his chest.

"It's not like this with other people." I said quietly into his chest.

I heard him intake a breath, his hand gripping my waist tightly squeezing me to him, "No…it's not."

We laid there letting the words sink in. The meaning in them, the intensity, strength, force and power in them.

"Bren?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I love you." His voice breaking. "And I'm never going to feel the same way for anyone else."

I lifted my head, he was already looking down at me, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

I nod once, swallowing hard from the power in his stare, "I know." I breathed.

Dylan moved down so we were face to face, "We're going to be okay Bren." Dylan breathed against my lips, before gently kissing me, with so much intensity, we breathed life into each other.

"Yeah…we're going to be okay."

Dylan had told me those words before, many times but this was the first time I truly believed them. Dylan and I have been through so much together. We had hurt each other but that hadn't even come close to the good we've done for one another. Dylan was my world and I was finally beginning to realize I had been his too all along.

I know everyone was wondering how that make up was going to go. The Kelly thing is difficult but in my mind if Brenda knew what Dylan has been through in season 9 and 10 she would have been there for him, forgiven him, put aside her insecurity for him. And it wasn't as though Dylan could do no wrong, she wasn't a doormat. But when all is said and done, she had a big heart. So I hope this chapter was realistic for you and it was okay. Next up takes place the following morning. The proposal and wedding. I decided against the Brandon conversation and just had Jim. I feel like Dylan knows Brandon has his back and his sister's and ultimately wants them to be happy. Jim on the other hand needed to be the one to listen, to give advice and for once show Dylan he is on his side as well as his daughter's. Tell me how I did my friends. I love your reviews so much.