Chapter 6: Broken Trust

(A happy, slightly belated birthday to my good writing buddy, Time and thanks for her help on this chapter!)

Tetsuya sat quietly in the candy shop kitchen, picking idly at his meal and stealing glances at the plate of food he'd prepared for his absent lover. He tried to pretend that understanding the reason was enough to cure his disappointment, but the emotion nagged at him until he gave up trying to eat and dumped his own food in the trash. He forced a smile and picked up the other plate, set it on a tray and headed down the hallway to Kisuke's lab.

He's been working so hard, helping me with making sure that the three ladies had no lingering side effects from their ordeal. Yoruichi-san hasn't made things easy for him. She hits or kicks him every time they cross paths. Orihime-chan hasn't come back to the shop and Ichigo has come several times to yell at him about what he did to her. I think anything I might say about our situation would only make him feel more stress and wouldn't begin to solve anything.

He reached the partially open lab door and peeked in. Kisuke sat, hunched over his computer keyboard, typing swiftly as he gazed intently at the monitor. Well aware that any attempt at conversation would probably be an annoyance, Tetsuya slipped silently into the room and moved to his lover's side, pausing to deposit the shopkeeper's meal in a small, open spot on the desk before bending to brush his lips against the elder man's cheek and turning to go.

"Hey, wait a second," Kisuke said, taking hold of Tetsuya's wrist.

He realized his mistake immediately as the half-noble stiffened in reaction, and the shopkeeper could feel the younger man's pulse racing under his fingers. He let go and offered a hasty apology.

"Sorry!"

"It's…okay," Tetsuya said, swallowing hard, but shivering against the flashback he experienced, "I know you were just getting my attention. Don't worry about it."

"I do worry about you," Kisuke sighed, lacing their fingers together and pulling Tetsuya's closer.

The half-noble's body bowed forward so that their foreheads touched for a long moment.

"I know you do."

"And even though things are hectic right now…no, no matter what happens, I promise you that you and I are going to be okay, all right? Maybe I don't have an exact definition for what our future's gonna look like, but…"

He broke off, cringing and scowling as a small communicator in front of him crackled and Kurotsuchi Mayuri's sneering voice sounded.

"Urahara Kisuke, you had better not waste my time, making me look for you. Answer me at once!"

"Kurotsuchi taicho, what a dubious pleasure," Kisuke answered, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "I'm pretty busy at the moment."

"Well, you had better listen to me…"

"Uh-huh…"

"…because right now, there is a group of my subordinates transporting a very annoying failed experiment to your lab."

"You know you could just lock it into a pocket dimension yourself," Kisuke sighed, "I told you, I'm…"

"You idiot! Of course I could do that, but this is a high priority escape risk, so it must be…"

"…locked into a doorless dimension, which you need me to do from my lab."

Kisuke gave Tetsuya a little smirk.

"The powers that be won't let him use the procedure because he'd be locking away pretty much everyone who pissed him off one time or another."

"I HEARD THAT, YOU POOR EXCUSE FOR A…"

"I've got it," Kisuke interrupted, "I'll have the coordinates ready when the beast arrives. Anything else I can…oopsie!"

Tetsuya bit his lip, chuckling as his lover switched the communicator off.

"Sorry, let me put in those coordinates and we can continue."

"Excuse me, boss," Tessai said from the doorway, "We have a situation in the training room."

"What kinda situation?" Kisuke asked, standing as Tetsuya followed suit and laid a hand on his sword hilt.

"Two injured officers staggered into the training room and collapsed. I started to heal one, while Yoruichi-san, who had been using the training room, began to stabilize the other. Unfortunately, the officer she was healing had been infected with a parasite hollow that transformed him unexpectedly, and she was slightly injured dispatching him. I have stabilized the surviving officer, however Yoruichi-san needs the parasite hollow's reiatsu removed swiftly, before she is also transformed."

"I can…" Tetsuya began.

"No," Kisuke said with an unexpected edge of tension that made his lover blink in surprise.

"Kisuke, you know my power is as capable as your own in this kind of healing."

"I've got it," the shopkeeper snapped, his tone leaving no room for argument, "Just…I put the coordinates in for the arriving team from Squad twelve. They probably won't arrive until I'm back. But watch the timer on the desk and record the results on the computer monitor when the timer gets to zero."

He turned and flash stepped away with Tessai before seeing the sad look of understanding Tetsuya gave him.

He knows very well that my ability is on par with his at removing errant reiatsu. He just doesn't want me near a situation involving transformative reaitsu.

A little shiver went through him as he considered the fate of the infected officer.

Kisuke or I might have been able to save that officer, had we been there, and had things not escalated so quickly. Yoruichi-san was only acting to save lives in slaying the man, but…of course thinking about that would make Kisuke worry about me being near that kind of situation.

He sighed and sat down, resting his chin on one palm and silently watching the timer count down as he waited to record the results. Several minutes passed before the timer chimed and he carefully recorded the requested results. He sighed again and stood, stretching and considering whether or not to continue waiting.

Perhaps a walk in the fresh air would be good.

Before he could decide, the sound of approaching footsteps that were obviously not Kisuke's sent him instantly into a concealing waterform.

Who is that?

Oh…

XXXXXXXXXX

As the days had passed since their return and still Yoruichi made no move to continue their...whatever they'd had in the pocket dimension. Soi fon grew increasingly desperate.

It doesn't feel right to talk to Yoruichi-sama about it, she brooded, After all it's so obvious she must have been intentionally ignoring me.

Bringing it up would just invite rejection, not something she was ready to accept. Despite everything, there was still some part of her that refused to back down. Finally, she realized that she only had one option, and she'd have to act fast before Yoruichi found someone else.

Soi fon sighed and slipped through the halls of the candy shop, watching for Urahara or anyone else as she made her way to the lab.

That bastard and Yoruichi-san are both down in the training room with the others. Now is the best time.

It was easy enough to reach the lab and slip inside, and a look around assured her that she was alone. It was more difficult, finding what she was looking amid myriad unorganized, unlabeled chemicals, but finally she had three vials of what looked like TS-9 in her hand. Yes, it was fucked up, but she wanted...needed her goddess. She headed for the door her prize, her ticket to eternal happiness in her hands when something caught her arm, stopping her cold.

Tetsuya sighed holding her arm as he revealed himself.

"Really after everything you've experienced because of the necessary use of that drug," he began, "Why would you…?"

"That's really none of your business!" Soi fon spat, "Get out of my way!"

"I can't allow you to do something like this," the half-noble persisted, "I know that your feelings for Yoruichi-san are genuine, much more than could be blamed on that compound, but doing something like this…"

He broke off, freezing as realization sparked in the young woman's blazing eyes and she rounded on him, hissing out her next scathing words.

"It was YOU! You were the one! You filthy, disgusting little…!"

"I assure you, it was an accident," Tetsuya explained hastily, "But this is no accident, and what you plan is…"

"Don't you dare," Soi fon seethed twisting to break his grip, though she knew better than to start an all out fight in the lab, "You spy on me, blab my secrets to that bastard and then act like you can preach..."

"I didn't mean to blab..."

"Like hell you didn't."

"I was just trying to help."

"Help what? I was handling it!"

"Soi fon taicho, believe me, I know what it's like love someone who just doesn't see you the same way."

Soi fon saw red as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Just because you're that madman's little bitch..." she swung her free fist, "It obvious to everyone he's just using you for sex, because that's all a weakling like you is good for!"

Tetsuya bound her arm in kido, frowning like he was genuinely sad.

"It must seem that way to you. But I can't help how I feel. Even if I know he can't reciprocate right now, I..."

"You're pathetic." Soi fon snapped, blinking back tears and desperate to just get away.

"If I'm so pathetic, then drop the vials."

Tetsuya's voice was surprisingly cold.

"Or are you just being hateful to me because you know what you're doing is wrong and unlikely to change things in the long term?"

Soi fon looked away, but said nothing.

Tetsuya dropped her hand, "That's what I thought."

She contemplated beating him down on principle, but Yoruichi would not appreciate her destroying the lab and lord only knew what might happen if certain machinery malfunctioned. She walked away with Tetsuya's eyes burning holes in her back.

Tetsuya let out a slow breath.

I should have taken the drug from her.

Should have, but didn't. A part of him admired her for doing something proactive. Even if it was extremely ill-advised. At least she was doing something.

I am letting Kisuke drift away and not doing a damned thing to stop it.

He sighed,

She's right. I am pathetic. Perhaps I should just make a clean break of it and have done. The question is…how?

"Still here?" Kisuke called cheerfully from the doorway, "Hey, thanks for recording that information for me."

"Did everything go all right with Yoruichi-san's healing?" Tetsuya asked, lowering his eyes to hide any distress that might be lingering there.

"Yeah, Yoruichi is fine, and Tessai said that he'd take care the stuff with Squad twelve so that you and I could have some time alone."

Tetsuya gave him a tentative smile.

"It has been rather chaotic," he agreed.

"Yeah, so…you wanna, I dunno, take a walk in the park? A shower? Jump right into bed? You've got my attention."

"A walk, I think," Tetsuya said, steeling himself inside.

There's no avoiding that this is going to be painful for both of us, but I'm starting to truly see that there is no place for me in this man's heart. I think he wants to love me, and he's pushing himself to try to change for me, but change isn't something anyone should push him to do. If he wants to fall in love again, he needs to feel the motivation to do that with his whole heart. If his heart is not in this, then there is nothing to fight for.

"You've got it," the shopkeeper replied, slipping an arm around him as they walked out of the shop together.

XXXXXXXXXX

Soi fon returned to her room and stared at the vials wondering how much she was supposed to use. Probably not much, maybe a third of a vial to start? Maybe she should just forget it. She didn't trust anything Urahara created. His projects were invariably dangerous and immoral. Well, that was basically her raison d'etre. With a sigh, she slid a vial into her pocket and headed for the training room.

Yoruichi was practicing on a wing chun and every kick of those lithe legs, every heave of that perfect chest sent a throb through Soi fon's loins and made her heart pound in her chest. Yeah she didn't have a choice. Of course, if she had to be honest with herself, she did, but it was easier to tell herself otherwise as she slipped a third of a vial into Yoruichi's sport's drink and stowed the rest back in her pocket. She smiled sadly.

"Oh hey what's up?" Yoruichi asked, a bright smile on her face.

"Eh just came down to train if you're up to it."

Soi fon wished her face would stop burning every time Yoruichi smiled.

"Oh cool wanna spar?"

Soifon nodded, throat bone dry. They fought with kido first, then transitioned to hakudo.

"You've improved...slightly," Yoruichi teased smiling.

Soifon's face caught fire first at the praise, then in anger and she redoubled her efforts. The match ended with her goddess in all her sweat-drenched glory straddling Soi fon's hips. Without thinking, Soi fon raised her knee slightly and Yoruichi's eyes roll back as Soi fon's leg gently caressed the folds between her goddess's trembling thighs. A moment later, pain exploded in her midsection as Yoruichi's fist slammed her gut. She gasped trying to catch her breath.

Yoruichi rose and offered Soi fon a hand, which she accepted, trying not to take the lesson too personally.

"Always beware emotional manipulation," Yoruichui warned with a smirk.

Soi fon nodded.

"But you're the...thank you for the advice Yoruichi-sama."

Yoruichi snorted.

"We've fucked, you can drop the formality."

Soi fon blushed, on fire yet again as she refreshed with some water and Yoruichi swigged her sports drink.

They squared to spar again and in short order Soi fon had gained the upper hand, Yoruichi on her back, eyes dilated, legs spreading slightly and Soi fon imagined her goddess's flushed, swollen lower regions aching for attention as bad as her own were. Yoruichi's fingers touched her and she was gone.

Yoruichi's fingers stroked deliberately around Soi fon's pussy, feeling it throb at her teasing. She slid her hand down her subordinate's lacy blood-red panties and Soi fon mewled in ecstasy. Yoruichi was fully aware of the TS-9 in her system and Soi fon would pay, but it was also kind of sweet that Soi fon cared enough to be so manipulative. Yoruichi slipped her fingers inside the younger woman's slick entrance and listened to Soi fon groan as she spun, stroked and thrust with the digits. With an effort of will and Soi fon nearing a sopping, creamy climax, she withdrew. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever done.

"What the FUCK!" Soi fon roared.

"You're a little trickster," Yoruichi said with a teasing smile.

Soi fon turned ghost white.

"You drugged me."

Yoruichi crouched back on her heels so Soi fon had such a good view of her crotch, she could practically see her protege's drool.

Soi fon stared up at her helplessly.

She forced herself to snap her knees close and rise.

"I love you."

She pressed her foot a little too hard into Soi fon's pussy. Soi fon moaned, pain and arousal united as one.

"But today, I think you should be punished," she leaned over as she said this so Soi fon could stare down her cleavage as she dragged out every word, licked her lips and generally was a massive tease.

Even Soi fon's lips drained of color, apparently forgetting that as the sober one she had all the power. Soi fon really loved her and after making her point, Yoruichi wouldn't question it again.

Yoruichi's finger trailed up the other woman's clit sensuously.

"Ohhhhowwahhhhh," Soi fon groaned.

Yoruichi teased her tits and slowly ran her hand down her protege's stomach teasing the promise of relief. she trailed her hand through pubic hair slowly, teasingly...right until her index finger ever so gently touched the clit then she straightened.

Soi fon groaned and Yoruichi could see the girl's pussy twitching through her panties.

"Where are you..." Soi fon panted.

"I don't appreciate being drugged."

"You can't just..."

Despite her own painful need, Yoruichi walked away and left Soi fon groaning on the floor.

XXXXXXXXXX

"You're being even quieter than usual," Kisuke noted, bumping his shoulder against Tetsuya's as the two walked along the tree-lined shore of the river, a short distance from the shop, "Are you still upset about earlier? I know I was short with you about…"

"No," Tetsuya said calmly, keeping his eyes on the ground, "I'm just…thinking that it may have been a mistake for us to become so involved without slowing down and thinking things through."

"What? Tetsuya…"

Tetsuya turned and stopped him with a tender kiss, placing his hands on the sides of the shopkeeper's now frowning face as he looked into Kisuke's stricken eyes.

"Don't do this, Tet."

"It's not my intent to hurt you," Tetsuya reasoned, blinking against the rising burn of tears in the corners of his eyes, "but we both know that you've been struggling."

"I love you!"

"I know. I love you too. Never doubt that," Tetsuya said reassuringly, "But you were hurt badly before and you need time to confront that. There is nothing wrong with admitting that we need to step back to allow you to have the time you need."

"I don't need more time," Kisuke argued, pulling the younger man into a tighter embrace, "Tetsuya, I wanna marry you!"

"What?" Tetsuya managed, paling, "Don't say something like that, just because you're worried I'll leave you. I…"

"Isn't that what you're doing?" the shopkeeper demanded, "You and I both know that if you go back to Soul Society, I can't follow you! If you go and don't come back…"

"You aren't the only one who needs time to think about this," Tetsuya managed in a choked voice, "We both know we can't keep on the way we've been, giving physical love, but not being able to give all of our hearts, because in some ways, both are still broken! You're not the only one suffering from memories of the past."

"I know that," Kisuke reassured him, "I've been patient with you."

"Yes," Tetsuya agreed, taking hold of his hand, "and I am trying to give you the same gift. I am going back to Soul Society."

"Tetsuya, don't."

"I promise you that I will return to you," the younger man said fervently, "I just think that if I am here, we will put too much pressure on each other. If we are to marry, I want it to be because it is what we both wanted wholeheartedly, not something you did to appease me. Think of this time as a gift, time in which you can be free to consider everything and come to your own decision. Even if you do not want to marry me, I will still very much be a part of your life. I will not forget our friendship or the closeness I feel with you. You simply mean too much to me. I swear, I don't want to lose you. I…"

Tetsuya broke off, stiffening and paling as pain radiated suddenly through his midsection.

"Tetsuya," Kisuke exclaimed, supporting him gently as the half-noble took a shaky breath and steadied himself, "are you okay?"

"I…I'm fine," the younger man lied, panting and shivering for a moment as his head spun, "I just…everything has been building up. I haven't been eating or sleeping properly."

"I'm sorry. I know that we should've cleared this all up before now, but…look, let's just go back and you can rest a little."

"I need to go home," Tetsuya said firmly, "I am going to let Koji spoil me for a bit and give us both time to think about what we want."

"But I already know what I want, Tetsuya. You're standing right in front of me. I know I've been hard to deal with. I guess…trust is a problem, but we'll figure this out. You don't need to leave."

"I'm sorry," Tetsuya whispered, his blue eyes filling with tears, "I have to go back."

"Tetsuya!"

Kisuke's jaw tightened as the half-noble flash stepped away. He started to flash step after, but was instantly stricken with harsh, biting memories of Aizen's betrayal and of the worse betrayal by Central 46 in banishing him.

Tetsuya is right.

As much as I love him, I do need to deal with this shit. I can't be a good partner for anyone until I do.

He bit at his lip, considering, then continued walking along the edge of the river.

Tetsuya, you were right about both of us being more than a little bit broken, but I haven't given up, and I hope this doesn't mean you're going to give up on me.