Chapter 7: Before Dawn
The sun hadn't yet risen when Victor woke to a feeling of intense nausea. Still half asleep, he dragged himself out of bed, stumbling towards the bathroom. His forward progress was unexpectedly stopped as he crashed into a wall and collapsed onto the carpeted floor of his bedroom, steps shy of his destination.
"Sh-shit!" he panted raggedly, holding onto his stomach, "Oh my god!"
He crawled into the bathroom, groaning as running footsteps approached. A flurry of relief registered before the nausea overtook him. He pushed up the toilet lid and grabbed onto the seat, hauling himself onto his knees and expelling the contents of his stomach violently. An arm wrapped around him from behind and he started to throw it off, but froze as his brother's voice sounded in his ear.
"Stop it. You're going to wake our mother. Do you want her to see you like this?"
Victor coughed and threw up again, then dropped back and rested against Yurio, panting and shaking for several minutes before he could speak again.
"S-sorry," he managed finally, "I forgot where I was."
Tears filled the corners of his eyes as Yurio's slim fingers stroked his hair.
"It's fine. You're home now. Get yourself together. I think I heard Mom coming."
"Crap."
He almost collapsed as his brother released him.
"Stay here," Yurio warned him, "I'll go take care of her. You clean up and get dressed."
"Right," Victor managed shakily, "Thank you, Yurio."
"And stop fucking calling me that…"
"But it's so cute!"
"Shut up and get dressed," his brother said shortly, heading out of the room and closing the door behind him.
I've missed my sulky, short-tempered brother so much!
Victor swallowed hard, shivering as he fought another sharp bout of nausea. He managed not to throw up a third time and slowly the sick feeling faded. He climbed to his feet and staggered to the sink, where he splashed his face several times with cool water, then swished a bit around to clear his mouth. He spat the water back into the sink and dried his face and hands on a soft towel. The familiar scent of the towel made him freeze and hot tears filled his eyes again.
I'm really here…at home. It wasn't just a crazy dream. Ivan really let me come here to see them.
But Yurio is right. I've got to keep my shit together or Mom is going to worry even more about me. I just have to go downstairs and eat something. Yes, that will calm her, if she sees me doing normal things and looking more comfortable and happy.
Hmm…
Maybe more content. She's going to know if I'm trying to bullshit her. Mama is a smart woman.
He fully intended to dress and walk downstairs to the kitchen, but he never made it past the large, sinfully comfortable bed. Sighing wearily, he collapsed in a heap and barely managed to tug the blankets over him before he dropped off again.
He was in a deep sleep and remained there as his bedroom door opened and Yurio and their mother entered, then stopped short. Nesha looked at her sleeping son silently for a moment, then glanced down at the meal she had brought. Reading her expression, Yurio touched her arm and shook his head.
"We should let him sleep. I'm sure he'll eat plenty when he wakes up."
"Yes, of course," Nesha said sadly, turning back out of the room.
Yurio followed her out and closed the door softly behind them.
"Mom," Yurio said solemnly, "he may sleep for a long time. He's been living with that bastard for so long. He needs to get his strength back."
"Yes, I know he does. I do hope we are able to bolster him. After all, he has to go back."
"Yeah. It's important to Victor to protect us, so he is going to go, and while he's here, he's going to be careful, because he's obviously being watched by Ivan's goons. We need to encourage him…"
"And," Nesha added, "we need to be sure that we do not do anything that would anger Ivan and make him less likely to allow Vitya to return. I do wish that I could rescue him somehow and I know you do too, but that isn't going to happen, at least not right now, so we have to get as much out of this time as we can."
Yurio gave her a wry smile.
"I was going to tell you that," he said, shaking his head.
"You are a good, bright boy," his mother said, curving a palm around his cheek, well aware that no one else was given leave to touch the stubborn youth in such a familiar way, "Thank you for being so strong for me and for Vitya."
The two walked back to the kitchen together, where they talked over breakfast before Yurio returned to his room to dress for his training. He paused at Victor's door before leaving, only to find that his exhausted step-brother was still sleeping. His eyes closed for a moment and a pained look touched his face, but it was all he allowed himself before turning away and leaving the house.
Nesha watched him leave, then turned her attention to cleaning around the house. Her efforts eventually took her upstairs, where she paused at Victor's door and her saddened eyes fell on Victor's deeply sleeping form.
It's been such a burden for you, Vitya, accepting life with that monster to protect us. You don't know, because you've been away for so long, but your sacrifice has helped us survive. Your brother and I love you for your dedication, but both of us wish that there was some way to save you.
She bit her lip gently, thinking quietly before heading downstairs, where she prepared a tray of foods that could more easily be left at her son's bedside. She carried the tray upstairs and laid it on the nightstand, then took up a position in a chair at Victor's bedside. One hand captured her sleeping son's and she hummed softly, gazing out the window as Victor remained motionless except for his slow, steady breathing. Her mind briefly pondered how she could bear to let him return to his abusive husband, but she knew well enough the price for defying the powerful and deadly criminal.
There is no justice for you, here in Russia. Do you know that when you were small, I considered trying to move away to another country to keep you safer? Knowing what you were from the day of your birth, I loved you so much that I would have left everything behind just to give you a better life. But I was not able to collect the funds to immigrate somewhere else. Then…I met your stepfather, and everything seemed to change for us. He was such a blessing, and even though he is gone, Yuri is so like him in being protective and strong. I don't know what I would have done after that horrible day if he hadn't been with me.
Nesha remained at her son's side as the hours passed and Victor remained deeply sleeping. It was nearly nightfall when he finally stirred, seeming to feel the warm weight of her hand. He shuddered and swallowed before his bright blue-green eyes opened and blinked, then slowly focused on her.
"Mama," he said sleepily, "sorry, how long was I asleep?"
"Just most of the day, sleepyhead," Nesha answered, trying to keep her voice cheerful.
"Can you blame me? This bed is so comfortable!" Victor chuckled, letting go of his mother's hand to sit up and stretch, yawning.
He took a closer look at the elder woman and colored.
"I hope you weren't too worried. I just didn't sleep well before coming here," Victor reassured her.
"I doubt you've slept well since you left home," Nesha said, shaking her head and frowning, "but while you are here, you will eat and sleep properly. Don't worry about anything but taking care of yourself. Come now, if you are awake, you must be hungry."
"I'm starving!" Victor agreed, yawning and stretching again.
He glanced at the nightstand, but Nesha tugged him to his feet.
"Come now, I will make whatever you want for dinner," she urged him.
"That sounds good. Just let me throw on some clothes and I'll be downstairs in a minute."
Victor watched as she left, then gathered clean clothing and dressed in the bathroom. He looked into the mirror, studying the healing bruises on his slim body before swiftly covering them again.
I wonder how much they will heal in a week. Not that Ivan and his bastard accomplices won't just put new ones on me when I get back.
A hard shudder passed through his slender form, even though his fresh clothing was warm and comfortable.
When Ivan goes away and comes home, he always picks a fight and ends up beating me or having someone else do it while he sulks somewhere. He is so jealous of even the thought of someone touching me.
His breath caught a little as he remembered his recent night with Yuuri Katsuki.
"I've been watching you f-fer a long time, Victor Nikif-forov," Yuuri breathed into his ear.
"Y-you've been watching me?" Victor repeated, his blue-green eyes rounding with distress, "What do you want from me, Mr. Katsuki?"
"Yuuri," the younger man corrected him.
"Yuuri," Victor repeated obediently, "What do you want from me, Yuuri?" You just know that I belong to him, and you…?"
"You're beautiful," Yuuri sighed, capturing Victor's scared face in his hands, "b-but why are you lookin' at me like that? I'm not…"
"You promise you won't hurt me?" Victor asked, swallowing hard as Yuuri's hands slid under his loosened clothing and down his naked back.
"I'm not gonna hurt you," Yuuri mumbled, taking a deep, dragging breath of Victor-scented hair, "but I am gonna to show you my love."
"Why?" Victor asked, burying his face in the other man's shoulder, "Why would you want that? Is it because I'm his? Or…is it because I'm a freak?"
"What?" Yuuri asked, giving him a confused look, "Don't say something like that. Thass'not true, y'know."
Victor reached down and took one of Yuuri's hands that had curled around his bare bottom, and he led the shaky fingers to the damp opening between his parted thighs.
"V-victor?" Yuuri hiccoughed, his brown eyes widening as he pushed a finger inside and Victor sighed and burrowed into his shoulder again.
He started to say more, but found himself lost for words as Victor's hand guided his fingers in a slow exploration of his nether region, and the silver-haired man's eyes filled with tears.
"You see?" Victor managed in a choked voice, "I am a…"
"Beautiful person," Yuuri finished, stopping him with a kiss, "Every bit of you."
"Yuuri," Victor whispered, closing his eyes and feeling the sharp flicker in his heart that came with the memory.
Ivan has never looked at me that way and he has never touched me with hands like that, so gentle and adoring. Yuuri Katsuki may be dangerous yakuza, but he is also a very different man than my husband.
Some part of me is wishing that he would have abducted me.
It wasn't good, thinking about how he might have been abused by his husband's enemy, but Yuuri hadn't acted in any way violent.
His hands touched me so tenderly, like someone touching a masterpiece just to be sure they're really seeing what's in front of them.
His heart beat faster and he rested a hand on the bathroom counter to steady himself.
"It would give me pleasure to dance with you," Yuuri said, slipping his arms around the anxious Russian, "Dance with me, Victor."
"You want to dance with me?" Victor asked curiously, "Have you seen me dancing at the club before?"
"Uh-uh, just on th'ice," Yuuri answered, blinking slowly.
"But that was…ages ago, before…"
"Shh," Yuuri hissed, narrowing his eyes and teasing Victor's still tingling lips with lusty fingertips, "Dance for me."
"To what music?" Victor asked, tilting his head.
Yuuri grinned and fished his phone out of his pocket and fumbled with it for a moment. Victor's breath caught as the song began.
"This is…!"
"Your free skate music from the last season you skated," Yuuri finished, "White Swan's Seduction, where in the story, the dark swan of your short program lures the white swan into a spellbinding mating dance."
A wave of dizziness spread through Victor's body and he reeled as the sharp memory continued.
"You're going to take me like a man also?" Victor asked dazedly, feeling a heavy throb in his loins at the thought, "I…I'm a virgin that way. Ivan has never done that before…and he hasn't let anyone else."
"Shh, it's okay."
Victor buried his face in the pillow, closing his eyes tightly.
"Relax," Yuuri drawled, teasing him first, then using the wetness of their first joining to dampen the area, "It'll hurt if you're tense."
"Just don't…"
"I won't hurt you. Raise your hips a little," Yuuri instructed him.
Still shaking slightly, the Russian complied. He shivered at the strange feeling as Yuuri's fingers began to work their way inside him, but the other man's continued reassurances calmed him, and he relaxed again gradually. When Yuuri's fingers were slowly removed and the wet tip of his penis touched the prepared area, Victor gave in with a little sigh and raised his hips to meet it. The Japanese man entered him carefully, holding onto Victor's slim hips firmly, but gently. He continued at an unrushed pace until his member was fully engaged in the Russian's soft bottom.
"It felt so good, Yuuri," Victor whispered, blushing as just the memory of the yakuza's penis inside him brought throbs of arousal of an intensity he'd never felt with his dastardly husband.
Ivan has always treated me like a woman. Yuuri was the first person to pleasure me like the man I am. I know I have female parts too, but it doesn't change who I am. Yuuri noticed that, and he respected it.
Victor's slender fingers slid down between his thighs, bypassing his feminine entrance, brushing his soft testicles, then tracing the puckered opening behind it.
It isn't bad, being fucked like a woman. That is a part of me too, but the real pleasure came from feeling our mutual strength when we met as two hungry, lusty men. Yuuri did something Ivan has never done. He met me on even ground. Even though he is a dangerous criminal and I was his captive, he treated me with more gentleness and affection than anyone ever has.
He stole some of the dampness from his now wet feminine entrance, spreading it around his tight, sensitive anus.
Just the thought of him…just the memory is…
The dizziness increased in hot flashes as he explored himself, hearing Yuuri's sexy voice and reliving the feeling of being so full after living a life that was so empty.
Victor lost his breath all over again as the man on his back began to thrust, slowly at first, then faster and deeper, groaning luridly and panting out Victor's name.
"F-feels s'good!" Yuuri exclaimed.
Victor hissed as a particularly deep thrust shocked his writhing body. He felt Yuuri's hand wrap around his awakened member. In moments, he was at the ends of his wits, but he forced himself to hold back until Yuuri seemed ready to climax again. The two careened into orgasm together, moaning out each other's names, then collapsing in a sweaty heap on the bed.
Victor gasped as the mingling of memory and erotic touches set off a blazing and tempestuous release that jolted his body and left his ears ringing as he backed away from the mirror and slid down the wall.
What has this man done to me?
He laid a hand over his pounding heart, slowing his shaky breathing as his body gradually recovered. It was several more minutes before he could climb to his feet to clean himself up and continue dressing. Still, the hum of pleasure stayed with him, warming him as he headed downstairs and into the kitchen. Nesha looked up as he entered the room and gave him a little, worried smile.
"I thought maybe you'd gone back to sleep again, Vitya."
"Sorry Mama," Victor chuckled, kissing her on the cheek and taking his place at the table, "I'm so hungry now, though, and everything smells so good!"
He ate heartily, enjoying every savory bite as much as he'd enjoyed being able to touch and pleasure his own body, unrestrained by worry about the consequences. His more cheery demeanor continued as Yurio returned home and joined them at the table.
"You look better now, although you still look like shit," his brother noted, earning a heartfelt laugh from Victor.
For the evening, the three could forget that it was only six more days they'd have together. Good food gave way to a return of more normal interactions.
This is what I've missed so much…just talking and laughing with people I love…people who love me and don't try to force me to be what they want. I've missed them so much. Mama's fussing over me. Yurio's grumpy kind of love. And even though Papa's been gone for so long, it's like he's still alive in our home. We keep him alive in our hearts. Now that Ivan is letting me come here, letting me see them, I feel like the part of me that had started to die inside has fresh hope. I will take that back with me when I must return to my husband, and I will use it to keep me strong. Whatever happens, I won't give up.
When he finally laid down to sleep again, Victor slept soundly with no dreams at all. He woke early in the morning and found his body awake and energetic. Smiling to himself, he left the bed and dressed in light workout clothing and he left the house on foot, ignoring the dark colored car that followed him.
I could see it was Georgi, so I don't have to worry anyway.
His footsteps carried him to the ice rink he'd once practiced on and he smiled to himself as he discovered that he could still sneak inside easily. He sat down to put on his skates, taking in the old, familiar scent of the ice, his heart flickering with renewed life.
I haven't been on the ice for so long!
But he found as he stepped out and began to skate, that skating was ingrained in his body, and his body remembered the thrill he'd always embraced while dancing on the ice. He left the lights off to avoid discovery, dancing in the darkness with practiced ease.
It's like I was just here yesterday. It's all coming back so easily.
He was so enthralled by the experience, he didn't notice when the music in his mind gave way to real music. He made a turn, then he startled as he felt an arm curl around him.
Who…?
He wondered if it could be an illusion as he spotted Yuuri Katsuki skating alongside him.
Yuuri?
He knew he should stop skating, but there was something so perfect about being held by this man, being shadowed on the ice, turned and dancing together. Yuuri's smile further enthralled him and he clung happily to what had to be an illusion, but what felt as real as he was.
"Yuuri?" he whispered, turning with the other man and letting himself be lowered into a death spiral.
I wouldn't care if he killed me right now. This is heaven!
At some point, the music ended and the two men simply collapsed onto the ice, kissing voraciously and tearing at each others' clothing. Victor embraced the dream entirely, throwing off worry and yielding readily to Yuuri's hot, wet kisses and amorous touches. In moments, their bodies were locked together, dancing in a more erotic way as the two men moaned and panted, blinded to everything around them. It was only once their passions had been sated and the coldness of the ice broke through that the two really looked at each other and reality set in again.
Victor reeled as he realized that the man holding him was no illusion.
"Y-you're really here?" he whispered, his face paling, "This…it isn't me dreaming you?"
"I've been looking for you," Yuuri said, holding onto him tightly, "Victor, I've been worried about you."
"How did you find me?" Victor asked, his voice shaking, "Yuuri, you can't be here! Ivan put guards on me. They will see! They'll come and kill you! You have to get out of here now!"
He tore himself away from the Japanese man and skated to the edge of the rink as Yuuri scrambled to his feet, yanking his clothes back into place as he followed.
"It's okay! I saw Georgi outside. I know he's not just a skater. He told me he's also watching you for Ivan."
"You know about…?"
"Yeah, Georgi told me," Yuuri said bracingly, taking Victor's ice cold hand in his, "It's okay. We're safe here. We have some time before anyone gets here and the rink opens. Victor, I want to help you."
"No," Victor sobbed, backing away and tearing his hand free, "Yuuri, you'll be killed. You'll get us all killed if you try to…"
"It'll be okay."
"No! It's not going to be okay!" Victor screamed, "Ivan is a monster and I don't care if you are yakuza, he will kill you, Yuuri. And I couldn't handle that. You have to go now, and you can't come back here, Yuuri. You have to forget you ever saw me!"
He broke off, staring at the wide-eyed look the younger man was giving him.
"Y-yuuri?" he queried uncertainly.
"W-wait," Yuuri said, frowning, "you…really thought I was yakuza?"