A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. I also appreciate some of your concerns about my mental health. My sister in law got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer recently and it's been a tough pill to swallow. Her and I are super close. We talk weekly and get together quite often. So to hear that she has a terminal illness and she is only 37 is really hard to hear. So that's why I was MIA for a couple weeks.

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

DPOV

My dad had picked me up from the airport. I was home for a couple weeks. Just in time for Christmas. I was excited to be home for a few weeks. I was always excited. It was nice having a break from the Army. I could sleep in, not shave my face every morning, and just sit on the couch for two weeks.

Even though it's been six months since I was home last, it went by fast. It always felt like my life at home was on pause while I was gone, but when I'd come home, I'd realize how much that wasn't true. Sometimes my parents looked older to me. Stefan was always on to the next adventure. And even my friends would look different to me.

I'd try to keep in contact with everyone. But people were busy. Elena was always the one constant friend I had that made sure to call or text almost daily. But things drastically changed since she left for college. The daily texts and calls started to become weekly instead. And I understood. She was busy and having fun, I'm sure. But it made me feel like a million miles away. And I prayed that our friendship would not fade out over time.

When I got home, I chatted with my parents for an hour or so, before going upstairs to find out what Stefan was up to. He was happy to see me, but his lovesick brain just wanted to be with Caroline 24/7. So, it was a short fifteen- or twenty-minute conversation before blondie came barreling through the door. And by the look of their fuck me eyes, I just wanted to be anywhere else but there.

I knew the next person I wanted to see. She would be the first person I would want to see every time, but my family always had first dibs. So, I walked over to my second home, and noticed the house was unusually quiet. I assumed Elena was up in her room, so I took the stairs two at a time, and made sure to be extra quiet, so I could scare her.

I waited outside her door, which was cracked open slightly. I could hear her shuffling around on the other side, so I knew she was there. A sly smile appeared on my face before I quietly and slowly opened the door. I looked around the room, and smirked when I noticed her bent over, in her closet.

"BOO!" I shouted, as I made large strides to appear right behind her.

She turned around so quickly, letting out a scream as she clutched her chest.

"Asshole!" She tossed a crumpled-up t-shirt at my chest.

I gulped realizing she was barely clothed. She was wearing blue cotton shorts, and a black lacy bra. I was surprised she didn't try to cover up right away. She was one of the most bashful people I had ever known. Maybe she forgot she wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Scaredy cat," I teased her.

"I thought I was home alone," she smacked me in the shoulder hard enough that I stumbled just a little.

She took a minute to steady her racing heart and heavy breathing. When suddenly it must have dawned on her that I was home. A slow smile spread across her face before she closed the gap and gave me a huge hug. "I missed you," she breathed into my neck.

My arms wrapped around her slim waist; her skin was warm. It felt so intimate, being able to feel her naked back on the palms of my hands. "I missed you too," I whispered back. Six months felt like an eternity when it came to Elena.

She released me turning back to her closet. "I had no idea you'd be home today," she grabbed a few shirts out of her closet and threw them down on her bed. She examined them closely, debating on which one she should wear. She turned to look at me. "If I would've known you'd be home, I wouldn't have made plans."

I wasn't used to her having plans, as sad as that sounds. I was used to having her as much as I wanted. The thought of someone else having her attention had a tiny flame of jealousy erupt in my chest. I swallowed trying to will it away. I was happy she was making friends. I truly was.

"That's ok," I waved it off like I didn't care. "We can do something tomorrow." I sat down on her bed, relaxing back into the pillows. "Where are you headed off to?"

She made her way back to her closet, and pulled out a few different jeans, bringing them back over to the shirt she had laid out. "I'm going to hang out with Tommy," she looked down at the clothes, like this was the hardest decision she's ever had to make.

She had mentioned Tommy a couple times to me over the phone. I assumed they were friends, but the way she was starting to talk about him, made me gather he was something more. "Is he your boyfriend?"

She held up an outfit to examine it together, "Yeah," she said without hesitation.

"You didn't tell me," I said almost quietly. I didn't know if the sting was because I didn't even know my best friend was dating someone. Or if it was because I didn't like the idea of her dating someone at all. I should be happy for her. This is what she wanted.

She must have noticed the disappointment in my voice because her eyes met mine in an apologetic look. She set the clothes down on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry, I feel like I've been terrible at keeping you in the loop."

"I get it," I gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm sure you're just busy with college parties, and classes."

A look of guilt crossed her face, and it was so quick that if I wasn't staring, I would've missed it. "What's that look for?" I asked.

She turned back, putting the other outfits back in her closet. "Nothing," she sounded like she had no idea what I was talking about. I was about to press the matter, but I was distracted by the way she stood up on her tip toes, reaching for something on the top rack. Her shorts were so short. I could see the crevice of her ass. The way her back arched, and her hair fell on her back made her look… Ugh, Stop Damon.

Something was different about her. She was confident… comfortable with herself. And don't get me wrong she had a lot to feel proud of, so if she wanted to flaunt it, she should. But something about it was bothering me. And I couldn't put a finger on it.

She broke my thoughts when she started rambling on about her parents going out of town. "They are leaving for New Years for the weekend. They're going to stay at a hotel in downtown. I was thinking of throwing a party," she shut her closet and made her way over to me. "Would you want to come?"

"You're going to throw a party?" I was surprised.

"Yeah," she looked down on me like it was a no brainer. "A parent free house… It would be a wasted opportunity not to have a party."

"Yeah, I guess," I was not used to this Elena. It was really tugging somewhere deep down.

"What's wrong with you?" She put her hands on her hips. "You go to parties all the time."

"Yeah, I go to them. I don't have them," I clarified. "There's a big difference."

"How?" She seemed confused.

"People aren't respectful of people's personal belongings. They'll trash it the second they get a chance to. I don't feel bad about having parties at Masons because he has horse shit parents who don't give a fuck about him," I explained it to her. "I would never throw a party at my parents."

"It'll be fine," she rolled her eyes. "My friends aren't disrespectful."

"Ok," My voice was clearly untrusting.

"Now are you done acting like my dad?" She raised her eyebrows.

I sat up on the bed and turned so I was facing her, my feet resting on the floor. "I just don't want you to change."

"I'm not," she gave me a reassuring smile, but deep down I had a gut feeling this was not good.

I wanted Elena to let loose and have fun. I didn't want it to completely change who she was. I wanted her to crack a beer and make out with whoever she deemed fit. I didn't want her to throw parties and get lost in who she was.

I didn't realize I was silent. And I'm sure my face looked worried, because she grabbed my face with her hands. "Hey," she forced me to look at her. "I'm not changing. I'm having fun."

I tried to give her a smile and let myself believe her. But the pit of my stomach was getting heavier, and I never felt so disconnected from her before. "Damon," she snapped me out of my thoughts. Even though she was different she still could read me like a book. As if she could not capture my attention enough, she straddled my lap, her hands still on my face.

She was so close, and the act was so unusual for her. She was half naked sitting on my lap. It wasn't like her. Not at all. I was so conflicted because it was bothering me. But on other hand I liked it. It felt good. It felt good to have her close. It felt right.

"I'll tell you what," she smiled at me. "Tomorrow night, you and I will have a very Damon and Elena night."

I couldn't help the crooked smile that etched across my face, "And what would that entail?"

"Frumpy PJ's, Twizzlers, Popcorn, and Harry Potter?" She asked adorably.

I pretended to give it a thought "Make that Star Wars, and I'm in."

"Deal," She beamed.

A honk outside interrupted us, and Elena leaned slightly to look out her window. "That's Tommy," she looked back to me. "I need to get dressed. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Ok," I said reluctantly. I gave her a smile, trying my best to keep the worry at bay.

She turned my head slightly with her hands, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek, before hoping off my lap and getting dressed.

I ended up going to Mason's that night needing a distraction. It was just him, Matt and Tyler playing video games and smoking pot. So, I sat in the basement joining in on the video games but passing on the smoking. As much as I would love to get high right now, I couldn't risk getting kicked out of the military.

It was nice not having Rebekah there. She was such a drag lately, and I already wasn't in a great mood. Although maybe the fighting would be a good distraction from the weight in my chest and the sinking feeling in my stomach.

If I was being honest though, I felt nothing for Rebekah anymore. I don't even think I've given her a thought in the last six months. It was crazy to think I was crazy obsessed with her when we were in high school, and then slowly over time the feelings just faded to nothing. I think we both tried holding on because we were great once upon a time. But even I could tell she didn't feel the same anymore too. Our fights were less passionate. I think we just fought because it was the only hope of reconciliation. And if fighting is your only hope, then you might as well just call it is what it is. Over.

I got nervous the following day when there was no word from Elena. I mean she had so many different friends now, maybe she already forgot she made plans with me? Was I that easily disposable?

But at about 8 o'clock she walked through my door. It made me smile when she was wearing her big ugly glasses, her hair up in a big messy bun, baggy sweatpants and a Minnie Mouse t-shirt.

"I hope you have Twizzlers, because I didn't have time to stop at the store," She held up a bag of microwave popcorn.

"I don't think we do," I frowned. "But I do have a candy stash up in my room."

She smiled pleased with that answer.

"Why don't you make the popcorn, I'm going to change, and grab the candy," I said before heading upstairs to change into something comfortable.

When I went downstairs, there was no sign of Elena, so I figured she made her way to the basement. We had a partially unfinished basement, where nobody liked to hang out except for Elena and I. It was like a dungeon, it was dark and cold, and had a slight musty smell. The only time anyone else went down there was to do laundry.

We had a blow-up mattress between the TV and couch, where Elena and I have spent many nights falling asleep watching movies. At first our parents weren't too fond of us having sleepovers together. But I think they realized there was zero spark between the two of us and it was highly unlikely that we would ever fool around with each other.

I wouldn't say there are zero sparks now, but it's still very unlikely anything would happen. We're adults now so no one should care if we did, but I couldn't let myself go there. And not just because she was my best friend. And not just because she had a boyfriend. But because I didn't think there was a possibility that we could be more than that.

Elena was messing with the DVD player, when my feet hit the cold cement floor.

She turned her head, and her mouth fell open as she looked upset at the same time. "I thought we agreed of frumpy PJ's?" She looked me up and down. "You look hot."

"Hot?" I snorted. I was wearing an old pair of sweatpants. And ok… I was without a shirt, but that was only because I had just done laundry and was planning on grabbing something out of the dryer.

"Yeah," she crossed her arms.

I walked over to the dryer, looking for something frumpy. "Relax," I pulled out one of my old zip up hoodies and threw it on. I zipped it up and made my way back to the blow-up mattress. I stole the remote from her hand, "Better?"

She studied me for a minute, before grabbing the zipper that was a quarter of the way down and zipped it up to the very top. She took her hand and messed with my hair, assuming she thought I would look less put together.

"Ugh," she grimaced displeased. "Why do guys look hotter when they're disheveled?" She looked defeated, so she settled for pulling the hood over my head. "That'll do," she sighed as she shoved some popcorn in her mouth.

"Why do you care?" I snorted.

She never seemed to care what she looked like. Or what I looked like. But I guess that was before.

"I don't know," She shrugged.

I pushed play on the remote, and we quickly got comfortable.

For the most part it felt like the old days. She'd imitate some of her favorite lines and it reminded me of how big of a dork she was. I swear she could memorize an entire movie just from watching it one time. We did the whole throw popcorn into each other's mouths and keep score of who was better at catching. She pouted when I beat her. She convinced me to give her a back rub, like she always did, but in exchange she had to go upstairs to refill our waters and make more popcorn.

And after we made it through two and a half Star Wars movies, she fell asleep on my chest. I had to carefully remove her glasses knowing I've made the mistake of rolling over them after they slid off her face and bent them in the past. It wasn't all that comfortable having her sleep on me. Her hair would always end up in my mouth, and she made me feel super-hot from all the heat her body radiated. But I knew she was sleeping well, so I sucked it up.

The only thing that got on my nerve's tonight was her incessant phone. Someone was always texting her, and she was so easily distracted. She seemed giddy and happy with every text she got so I didn't say anything. And I couldn't be mad at the fact that she had a boyfriend that was talking to her and checking up on her. That was territorial and possessive, when I had no right to be. I just hoped he was good to her. And I hoped he had good intentions.

Her phone kept buzzing and buzzing. I was unable to sleep so I finally reached for it, hoping to silence it, when words flashed across the screen that had me feeling sick.

I thought you were going to send me nudes tonight, baby? -Tommy

I put the phone down immediately, trying not to wake Elena. I wish I didn't see that. She's dating him, they have every right to do what they want. But my wandering brain couldn't help but worry. Was he pressuring her into things? Was he keeping these photos to himself? Was she even a virgin anymore? Was he using her? Was he taking advantage? Did she love him? Did he love her?

I tried so hard to let it go. I adjusted myself as she moved, so that I could lay more on my side. Her head moved to my upper arm. She looked so peaceful. So sweet. She looked like Elena to me. I moved a fallen hair from her face gently tucking it behind her ear. And it hit me like a bullet in the chest.

I was in love with my best friend.

I love Elena.

A/N: What'd you think? Please leave a review and I'll see you next week :)