AN: I could have also called this chapter *character development*. Exciting times, people. We are slowly moving towards the end. I can't exactly say yet how many chapters are left. But before we think about that, here is a chapter of Bruce reflecting.

Summer314: I was so sad about having to kill Helena. She is great. I loved her in the Grayson run (this chapter has a reference to it. A virtual cookie to anyone who spots it). Talia did redeem herself to an extent. I like writing her as this grey character who moves across the lines.

You are getting your wish ;). Bruce reflects in this chapter. Dick could have defeated Ra's. He already did it in the comics (in Tomasi's fantastic Nightwing run). But he definitely would have tried to kill all of them afterwards because of that Pit-rage. Only Cass would have been able to contain him because her fighting is from another world.

Summer314 (again): Have I ever mentioned how much I love and appreciate your comments? It is totally in character for Dick to befriend any version of himself (who isn't a complete mass murderer). Bruce is the victim of his poor wording again. I'm starting to feel bad for him.

That is a good question. Poor Brucie has to be out there somewhere in the void of death…

15. Guilt

Bruce couldn't stay in that plane anymore. He hurried outside soaking in deep breaths. The plane stood on a wide field outside of the city where they had brought Dinah to the hospital. Despite the wideness of the field, Bruce felt enclosed.

This body – this new life – seemed like a trap suddenly. Bruce had jumped right in. He had committed the worst mistake of his life. Something so unforgivable that he couldn't breathe.

And then Bruce had made it worse by wanting to fix things. He had killed Huntress and trapped his son in the back of someone's mind.

Bruce's breath raced and his chest hurt. He was having a full-blown panic attack. Bruce stumbled towards a tree and leaned against the stump to ground himself. Bruce had never wanted to hurt his family. He had wanted to make them better. Get them away from his own toxic influence. Instead, Bruce's influence had trapped Dick - his eldest son who had always been proud of his independence.

Bruce didn't know what to do. He could attempt to get the old timeline back. Save his family from the void of death. But saving his old timeline would mean dooming this new one. It wasn't fair. These new versions of his family had lives, too. Lives Bruce had created with his meddling. It wouldn't be fair to take it away from them.

There was no easy way out of this. Bruce had caused a terrible cosmic mess where one side would lose. He couldn't save them all. It was impossible. And it was all his fault.

Bruce stumbled. He fell to the ground. All the grace of Batman lost. Bruce didn't know how to fix this. He made it worse every time he fixed it. Bruce pulled his legs to his chest. It was unbecoming of Batman - but Bruce wasn't Batman anymore. He was just an airheaded billionaire now. The façade he had despised his whole life. There was no Batman anymore underneath, no adoptive Dad of a handful of troubled but brilliant kids.

Bruce hid his face in his legs. He couldn't do this anymore. Bruce wanted to be a kid again. To hide in his father's embrace during galas and not have to worry about anything. Instead, Bruce only felt powerless and alone. And it was all his fault. He kept reiterating it in his head. Bruce would never be allowed to forget his guilt.

Something touched his shoulder. Bruce looked up. Cass looked at him with worry. Bruce wondered how long she had been there. His daughter was completely silent when she wanted to be. Impossible to detect even by Batman.

Cass crouched in front of him. Simply watching. She didn't say anything. Another thing Bruce had screwed up. He had erased all the progress his daughter had made with words. This Cass was as Bruce had got to know her: Completely silent.

"I'm sorry, Cassandra", Bruce felt his eyes becoming wet, "I failed you. I can't even imagine what you went through."

Cassandra watched him. She was testing him. Bruce knew that whatever test she did he would fail. Bruce had no way of communicating with Cass. The moment he had lost his fighting skills he had lost the ability to communicate with her in her first language.

Cass' face softened. She hugged him. Bruce tensed, unable to process what was happening. He simply put his arms around Cass and pulled her close. His only daughter. So strong and precious even in this new world. She gave Bruce the power to be strong, too. He needed to be for his family.

Dinah was transferred to Gotham a few days later. Bruce breathed a sigh of relief as they flew towards Gotham. Cassandra was mostly by Stephanie's side. But every so often she went over to Bruce and he talked to her about anything.

Cassandra listened intently. She opened her mouth – trying to form words. But only a few sounds came out. She growled in frustration.

"It's okay", Bruce said, "You can speak with signs. It was always easier for you than words."

Bruce showed her the sign for 'yes' and nodded. Cassandra frowned. Bruce repeated 'yes' until Cassandra's face lightened up. She repeated the sign. Bruce smiled at her. Then, he showed her how to sign 'no' and shook his head. Cassandra did the same.

Bruce pointed at her and said: "You are Cassandra."

He signed: 'C-A-S-S-A-N-D-R-A' and pointed at her again. Cass seemed confused. Bruce pointed at himself and signed: 'B-R-U-C-E'. He did it until Cass' face lightened up again and she signed both of their names.

Cass seemed excited. She kept pointing at things and asked Bruce to sign them for her. Bruce gladly showed the signs to her. At some point, Cass tugged Stephanie into the seat next to them and incorporated her into the lesson. Stephanie seemed reluctant. She had mostly ignored Bruce since Helena's death. Bruce couldn't blame her for it.

"I'm just here because it makes Cass happy", Steph glared at Bruce, but she soon repeated the signs he taught them.

Cass trembled from excitement in her seat and soon she held simple conversations with Bruce and to a lesser extent Stephanie.

The relationship with his sons was far more strained. Damian kept making passive aggressive comments in his direction, barely looking at Bruce. Jason made aggressive comments and Dick just seemed… exhausted. His whole body was tense and he was asleep most of the time. Bruce felt a twinge in his chest. He turned to him while Cass was signing to Stephanie. The younger girl seemed a bit overwhelmed by Cass' aptitude for signs and tried hard to keep up.

Bruce looked at Dick: "Is Nightwing okay?"

"Did you hear anything?", Damian said, "I didn't."

"Don't talk to him, you piece of shit", Jason glared at Bruce.

It was nice to see that Dick's brothers showed their care for him so openly even if it manifested itself in a united front against Bruce.

"It's fine, guys", Dick looked at Bruce, "He doesn't talk to me anymore."

"What does that mean?"

"He hasn't said anything in the last few days. I think he is trying to make himself vanish. I can feel him though."

"Feel him?"

Dick nodded: "He- I just feel this very depressed undercurrent. It's affecting me, too."

Bruce bit his lip. He saw the dark circles under Dick's eyes, the way his shoulders were slumped and the lack of energy in his usually so energetic body.

"I'm sorry", Bruce said.

"Tell that to him", Dick turned away again, "I- I can't talk about this anymore, Wayne. It's making me tired."

"I understand", Bruce said.

Dick slumped against the wall of the plane. He closed his eyes. Damian and Jason glared at Bruce. Bruce slumped in on himself, lowering his gaze.

The Birds buried Helena on a rainy Sunday. It was a small service organized by Oracle. She had manipulated things in a way that Helena's death looked like a tragic accident.

Steph let the tears flow freely. Selina stood beside her in an elegant black dress, holding an umbrella about them both. Dinah was on crutches. Jason held her umbrella for her. He had tidied himself up and exchanged his usual leather jacket for a black suit. Dick had put a hand on Damian's shoulder. The young al Ghul had insisted on coming to the funeral to honor Helena's sacrifice. Barbara was at the edge of the grave. Her expression was dark and she looked like Helena's death had been her personal failure.

The priest finished his eulogy. He nodded at them. Barbara didn't need to wheel herself forward as she was close enough already.

She said: "I am sorry, Helena. I failed you."

Then, she wheeled herself away, not looking at any of them. Dick, Jason and Damian all threw a rose on Helena's casket. Damian made sure his rose landed perfectly on the middle of her casket.

"I owe you a great debt, Helena", Damian said, "You gave everything to save people – to save us and to save me. I will never forget this and I swear that I will honor your sacrifice."

Dick stepped forward. He put a hand on Helena's gravestone.

"You went out with a bang, Matron", he said, "I am impressed. You were one of the best partners I ever had and I hope you find your peace."

Steph frowned, distracted from her grief for a moment. This didn't sound like Dick. He had never meaningfully interacted with Helena to her knowledge. It had to be Nightwing who was speaking to Helena.

Dick (or Nightwing?) nodded at Jason and Damian. He put a protective hand on Damian's shoulder and led him towards the gate of the graveyard.

"That was a great speech, Damian", Jason said – unusually reserved.

Damian simply nodded: "Thank you, Todd."

Now, it was only the Birds without their leader left. Dinah moved to the grave with her crutches. She whispered to the grave. Steph couldn't understand it under the rain. But Dinah nodded after a few minutes and hobbled towards the exit.

"Come on", Selina led Steph to the grave, "It's time to say goodbye."

Steph took a purple rose out of her pocket. The color that had connected them both.

"I went through half a dozen flower shops to find this one", Steph dropped the rose on Helena's casket, "It's surprisingly hard to find a purple rose. I hope you like it."

Steph paused for a moment. The words just didn't want to come.

She shook her head: "I know I talk like a waterfall usually, but I don't know what to say except: Thank you. You were incredibly brave. You saved us and I aspire to be like you someday. If I had just one sliver of your bravery, I could be proud of myself."

Steph grew silent afterwards.

"I'm sure she was proud of you", Selina put a hand on Steph's shoulder and stepped forward.

She let a black rose drop onto the casket.

"I'm gonna miss you, Helena", Selina said, "Dinah, Barbara and Stephanie are far too morally upstanding. It will never be the same without you, my partner-in-crime."

Selina stood at the grave for a while. Completely silent. Then, she nodded at the priest and put an arm around Stephanie's shoulders. Steph allowed herself to be led away.

They had done everything they could for Helena. Now, they could only hope that she had found some peace. She deserved it.

Bruce didn't dare to show himself at the funeral. He watched it from afar – swearing to himself that he would never let his single-mindedness cause another casualty again.

Cassandra stepped up beside him. Apparently, she hadn't felt like she was the right person to be at the funeral either.

"You would have liked her", Bruce looked at Cass, "She was a great person."

Cass nodded raising her hands. She signed: 'Yes.'

Bruce allowed himself a tiny smile. Cass had understood him.

Barbara never went to the little get-together that the Birds had insisted on after the funeral. Instead, she went to the Clocktower, locked herself in and concentrated on her computers.

Barbara threw a glance of the picture of the Birds on her desk. It was the only picture of them all together. Stephanie had insisted on taking it shortly after she had joined the Birds.

Barbara was glad now that Stephanie had convinced them. The photo would always remind Barbara of what she was fighting for – and the blame she couldn't shake.

Helena's death had been her fault. She was the leader of the Birds. They were her responsibility and Barbara had sworn that none of them would ever be harmed. Barbara had failed. She shouldn't have trusted Wayne's assurances. Oracle always researched for herself. But she had been too eager to rectify the Birds' mistake with Damian. Barbara balled her fists. Oracle couldn't allow herself to be sloppy again.

So, Barbara threw herself into her computers and the numbers. Things she could predict with near 100% accuracy. Oracle always had multiple cases running at the same time.

"Hey, O", a voice said behind her.

Barbara swung around, pointing an escrima stick at the person. Steph stood in front of her still in her funeral dress. She raised her hands.

"How did you get in here?", Barbara said, "This place is on lockdown."

Steph bit her lip: "Selina may have shown me a few ways to get in."

Selina. Of course, the thief had found a few security holes. Barbara needed to pick her brain about this. The Clocktower was supposed to be impenetrable.

"What are you doing here?", Barbara asked.

"I guess I wanted to make sure you are all right and that you don't get sucked into those computers."

Barbara blinked. Taken aback by Steph's words.

"I know you are blaming yourself", Steph said, "You should stop. It's not healthy."

"I'm team leader", Barbara looked at the picture, "I'm supposed to keep all of you safe."

"Helena made her decision. A very brave one that saved us all. I think she would be pissed if you took the agency of this decision away from her."

Barbara didn't know what to reply. When had Stephanie gotten so wise?

"You managed to keep me safe", Steph said, "I made my decision to save Cassandra Cain and you trusted me. It meant a lot."

"I trust you", Barbara said, "I always trusted you. I guess I just have this deep-seated need to keep you all safe, especially you."

"Why me? Just because I'm younger than them?"

"That's part of it. But I guess you remind me of myself when I was a hotshot vigilante."

Barbara couldn't help but mock the expression a bit. She had been so naïve then.

Steph frowned: "You never told me about that, O."

"There is not much to tell because my career was very short. I cobbled together a costume and didn't even have a name. I stopped a few petty crimes. But my equipment was self-made and I got cocky. So, my line broke one night and I fell three stories. I was lucky in hindsight that it wasn't higher."

Barbara gritted her teeth at recounting this memory. The fall was still traumatic and she hated recounting it. But Stephanie deserved the truth.

"I'm sorry, Barbara."

"You don't need to be sorry for me. I ended up fine. I'm pretty sure I can stop more crimes as Oracle than I ever could as a petty vigilante."

Steph chuckled: "I'm sure you've stopped more crimes than all of us together, O. All those anonymous tips to the police? They add up."

Barbara smiled: "There is nothing missing in my life especially now that I have my Birds. But getting here was hard and I don't want any of you to have to go through the same. Starting out as a vigilante – especially on your own with barely any resources – is dangerous. I learned it the painful way."

Steph's face softened: "I get it. I shouldn't have questioned you so much. And I'm not alone. You and the other Birds made sure of that."

Barbara nodded: "I shouldn't have questioned you so much either. You are capable, Stephanie. You made the right call when you decided to save Cassandra."

"Cass is amazing. You should have seen her fight all those ninjas."

"What are you suggesting, Steph?"

Steph shrugged: "I don't know. Maybe that a certain someone has qualities to join the Birds."

Barbara looked at the picture and Helena's smiling face: "We're going to need to regroup before we make any decisions about our line-up. We would need to talk with Dinah and Selina as well. I don't want to add another team member so soon after we lost Helena."

"You can't replace Helena. Never", Steph looked at the picture, "I just think that the Birds would benefit from having Cass with us and it could help Cass, too. She was all alone before. Just like me."

Barbara nodded: "Your suggestion is noted. We are also going to need to ask Cassandra what she wants."

Steph nodded: "Of course."

Barbara put a hand on Steph's shoulder: "Would you mind looking at some security footage I found? I could use a second pair of eyes."

"Sure", Steph smiled.

She pulled a chair towards the screen and sat down. Barbara talked her through the case while Steph listened. They fell into a rhythm of Barbara explaining something and Steph asking questions that Barbara hadn't considered before.

Barbara felt oddly peaceful after these stressful weeks. She could get used to this. Maybe she needed to trust her Birds more. They were incredible – every one of them. Barbara would make sure they knew it from now on.

Bruce tipped nervously with his foot as he waited in the research and development department of Wayne Enterprises. Blueprints and prototypes were laid out on wide tables. Groups of scientists and engineers were tinkering with different projects. Bruce earned the occasional confused glance, but no one dared to address the heir to the CEO of Wayne Enterprises directly.

Bruce had asked one of the engineers when he arrived. Apparently, Tim was on lunch break. So, Bruce had sat down near a prototype of the solar battery and fidgeted with his foot.

The destroyed time machine was in his pocket. Bruce had a recollection of how it had worked but he didn't trust Brucie Wayne's hands to put it together. Maybe Oracle could have helped him as well if she hadn't despised Bruce after what had happened to the Birds. Bruce didn't blame her. Helena's death had been his fault. He should have been completely honest with the Birds from the start. The half-truths he had told them had turned out to be more damaging than outright lies.

Tim entered the office with a coffee in his hand. He was in the middle of an animated discussion with – according to the name tag – a bioengineer. Tim frowned when he saw Bruce.

"Hey Tim", Bruce stood up.

He decided to get rid of the Brucie-façade entirely. Tim deserved the truth after Bruce must have confused him during their last encounter.

"If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here, Mr. Wayne?", Tim said.

"That's a valid question", Bruce said, "How about we discuss this somewhere else?"

"I just had my break."

"And you can have another one – mandated by me. It comes with the perks of being the CEO's spoiled brat."

Tim stared at Bruce with an open mouth.

"Sure, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce led them outside the building to a small café. Tim had just finished his coffee, but Bruce knew his son well enough to know that Tim would have no issue ordering another one. They sat down in a booth across from each other.

"I need your help, Tim", Bruce said after the waiter had brought them their orders, "And your advice."

"My advice?", Tim frowned, "I don't know what I could advise you with, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce took the smashed time machine out of his pocket and put it on the table between them. Tim let go off his coffee for a moment and examined the machine. Bruce watched him for a while.

"This is incredible", Tim said, "I've never seen anything like this before."

"Would you believe me if I told you that this was a time machine?"

Tim's frown deepened: "It wouldn't be impossible. Time travel is theoretically possible and not far-fetched with the existence of metas like the Flash or magic users like Zatanna. We could be living in a timeline influenced by time travel without even knowing it."

Tim's knowing look rested on Bruce: "I assume we knew each other in the other timeline? It would explain your strange behavior."

Bruce froze. He had forgotten how sharp Tim was.

"I am- was your adopted Dad", Bruce said.

Tim seemed speechless for a moment. But then he nodded, accepting what Bruce had told him: "Explain it to me."

And Bruce did. He explained everything to Tim – leaving out no mistake that Bruce had made. He even put Dick's family photo on the table. The only reminder he had left of his adoptive family. Tim watched him closely, occasionally sipping on his coffee. Bruce took a deep breath once he had finished.

Tim hummed and looked at the time machine again: "I could fix it in a few months I guess. With your knowledge about the machine and my engineering experience it should work. I assume you want me to fix it?"

"I'm not sure", Bruce said, "That's where the advice part comes in."

"On the one hand, it could potentially lead to an even bigger mess. We don't know. There is a giant risk", Tim said, "On the other hand, you could potentially erase your mistake by going back in time and letting your parents die this time. You should get your original timeline back. I don't see why it shouldn't work."

Bruce nodded: "But getting my original timeline back would mean erasing this one. You would die, Tim. Doesn't that bother you?"

"I'm more concerned about the cosmic ramifications of this."

Bruce was worried about Tim's nonchalance. You shouldn't feel so indifferent towards being erased from existence.

"Do you think getting my old timeline back would erase the problem with Dick?"

"I don't know", Tim shook his head, "Both of them are uniquely connected now. Maybe we can never separate them. There are too many unknown variables."

Bruce nodded: "Thank you, Tim. You helped me make my decision."

"Should we go over to my lab so that I can get a closer look?", Tim turned the broken machine in his hand.

"This won't be necessary, Tim, because I won't travel back this time", Bruce said, "Every time I tried to fix my problems this way, it only became worse. This time won't be any different."

"This would mean letting go of your adoptive family, Bruce", Tim said, "Are you sure you can do this?"

"I love them, and I failed them all. But I could make it so much worse for them if I mess with time again. My meddling could potentially create a third timeline and we would have three versions of us competing for the same place in the universe. How much can reality take before it overloads? The risk is too great, and your timeline has as much as a right to existence as my old one."

Tim nodded: "I am very sorry for your loss, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce shook his head: "It's my own fault. You don't have to be sorry for me."

Tim picked up the photo: "I still am. They look like great people."

"They were and I killed them."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions", Tim said, "I'm sure they would understand your decision."

"They would understand it on an intellectual level but they would still be rightfully angry at me. Dick – my adoptive son, not the social worker - doesn't even want to speak with me."

Tim stayed silent as if he didn't know what to answer. Bruce's throat felt tight. He indicated the waiter to bring them the bill. Bruce paid and gave a generous tip. He pocketed the machine and the photo again.

Bruce walked Tim towards the WE building.

"I won't bother you anymore, Tim. You seem very happy here."

Tim shrugged: "I'm very happy with my job. It's great. Working on these machines, solving puzzles. Everything I ever wanted."

Bruce smiled and squeezed Tim's shoulder.

Tim said: "Still, you know how my parents are. They are good people, but they barely pay attention to me and they are away most of the time."

Bruce frowned. This time he didn't understand what Tim meant.

Tim took a deep breath: "I guess this is my roundabout way of saying I wouldn't mind reconciling with my adoptive Dad from another timeline."

Bruce needed a few seconds to process this. Had Tim just invited him into his life?

Bruce's eyes grew wet: "I- It would be an honor, Tim."

"Maybe we could work together on the solar battery", Tim said, "I could use some insight."

"Sure", Bruce smiled, "I'll be there."

"Great", Tim walked towards the WE building.

"Wait", Bruce held the time machine out to Tim, "Hide it, destroy it. Decide whatever you deem fit. I can't be trusted with it."

Tim took it: "I'll take care of it, Mr. W- Bruce."

He entered the building, waving at Bruce through the window that made up the façade of the building. Bruce waved back. He wiped away a little tear of joy. Tim didn't hate him. Cassandra didn't hate him. Bruce would make everything out of this opportunity. This time, he wouldn't throw it away.

AN: Aww. Look at Bruce. I'm so proud of him.

I'm not sure yet if I will make it on time next Sunday. I am starting a new and exciting period in my life next week and it's gonna be a bit stressful for a few days. But I'll try to get a chapter up a few days later at most. We'll see.