AN: And I'm late again. But I have to be honest: I'm a bit nervous about ending this fic. I wanted to end it cleanly with this chapter but then the angst just sneaked up on me and Dick/Nightwing from behind. So, this is the penultimate chapter. I imagine the last one to be an epilogue of some sorts. We'll see.

Warning for: Allusions/Discussion of sucide and general suicidal tendencies (I didn't lie when I said it went dark. Dammit. This was supposed to be a comforting ending chapter.)

Summer314: The Waynes did learn! The best thing they can do is move forward. Nice catch. This Alfred is more distant indeed. He never was forced (or never had to) take full responsibility for Bruce.

I love the Dick/Nightwing banter. They are both banter-machines and it's great. That letter hurt though. And this chapter won't be great for Dick/Nightwing either I'm afraid.

19. Partners-in-Mind

Jason stopped his motorcycle in front of the entrance to Wayne Manor. Gravel shot out and Jason planted foot onto the floor. Light greeted them from out of the Manor's high windows. It seemed inviting. Jason could imagine it as a home to an eccentric billionaire and his half-a-dozen children. Too bad that Wayne had squandered that chance.

"Hurry, Todd", Damian hopped off the motorcycle, a katana strapped to his back.

"You here to behead Wayne?"

Jason wouldn't be too sad. He would probably hold Damian back though for Dick's moral peace.

"Despite my desire to do so, I will abstain from doing it. Grayson wasn't a fan of me taking care of his coworkers."

Jason thought of the two bodies he had thrown into that acid vat. That had been a mess. A whole lot of cleaning and hefting corpses around.

"You can thank me by the way for getting rid of your mess, Demon."

Damian huffed: "I am not in need to remove bodies. No one could detain me anyway."

The good old bragging. Classic Damian.

Jason shook his head fondly and ruffled Damian's hair: "Sure Damian."

Damian squatted his hand away. He scowled up at Jason like a petulant, little cat. It was adorable.

"Stop grinning like that Todd. You might make me believe that Grayson is inside your head."

Jason halted. Shit. He had really turned into Dick for a moment. Ruffling Damian's hair? Thinking that Damian was adorable? Dammit. Would Jason like Blüdhaven eventually, too? Never. Jason was a Gotham boy through and through. Blüdhaven sucked and would always suck.

"All right", Jason tried to steer the topic away from his own behavior and back onto the Demon's, "That still doesn't tell me though what the katana is for."

"Your mind is slow, Todd. At least now I know that Grayson isn't in there", Damian's eyes shone in amusement.

He was bickering with Jason – in a friendly way. His insults were the same but they had lost all their bite.

Jason walked up to the door and rang the bell: "I'm your ride back to that shithole, so you better watch what you say."

Alfred opened the door, looking pleased at seeing them. They exchanged some greetings as Alfred led the in the salon. Everything was decorated tastefully with a few balloons and a banner that said: "Happy Birthday, Cass."

The birthday girl was sitting on the end of the table in front of a giant chocolate cake with whipped cream on top. Alfred had outdone himself. She was smiling wider than Jason had ever seen her smile and kept throwing glances at the chocolate cake. Apparently, Cassandra had developed quite the sweet tooth. Selina, Barbara, Dinah and Stephanie were grouped around her. Steph and Cass were signing to each other. It looked sweet – especially for someone like Cass who had probably never celebrated her birthday before. Jason despised Wayne but he couldn't deny that Wayne had made Cass happy today.

Speaking of Wayne, the man was sitting on an armchair in the corner. Jason suspected it was correlated with the dirty looks Barbara was throwing at him. Jason would have kept his distance, too, if Oracle looked at him like that. The leader of the Birds would never forgive Wayne. And good on her. Jason approved.

Across from Wayne sat a boy a few years younger than Jason. They could be brothers in appearance as he also had black hair and blue eyes. Jason assumed he must be Tim Drake. Drake seemed stiff as he sat there with his hands folded in his lap. He wore a green button-up that was far too expensive for its simplicity. Definitely a rich kid.

Cassandra looked up at them. Surprise flittered over her face for just a moment which turned into a soft smile. Damian approached her taking the katana off his back. He presented the sheathed weapon to Cassandra. She tilted her head in interest and took the weapon.

"Cassandra", Damian spoke and signed simultaneously, "The first time we fought you defeated me and took my katana. I expected you to kill me. However, you gave me a gift that I shall forever cherish: Mercy. It is thanks to you that I am alive and was able to choose a new path for myself. A path that freed me of my stifling legacy. I want to honor your act of compassion by giving you my katana today freely as a gift."

Jason's mouth dropped. Holy shit. The Demon was going all out. Cassandra must have fed him a big slice of humble pie during that fight.

Cass stared at Damian. Her body frozen as if she was processing what Damian had said. She carefully put the weapon on the table next to the cake. Then, she stood up and pulled Damian into a hug. Damian reciprocated it. They both seemed at peace dropping their stoic facades for a moment.

"Aww", Stephanie muttered into Jason's ear, "Look at our two deadly assassins bonding. Where did Damian learn to sign all that though? I wouldn't be able to do that."

Jason hadn't noticed Steph sneaking up on him. The stealth lessons with Catwoman must have paid off.

Jason grinned: "Nightwing must have taught him."

"He learned it by heart? That's adorable."

"I can hear your blabbering, Brown", Damian said as he and Cass broke off the hug.

"How about you blow out the candles, Cass? You need to make a wish", Wayne also spoke while signing.

He awkwardly stood up from his armchair and approached the table. Cass looked up at him. She nodded excitedly. Wayne had a supportive hand on her shoulder as she blew out the candles. He looked fond – like a proud father. Jason clapped with the rest of them trying to sort out his feelings about this development.

Seeing Cass' admiration for Wayne made Jason sick. But Jason couldn't begrudge her for it.

Cass hadn't been there when Wayne had screwed everything up for them. To her, Wayne had initiated a mission to save her, invited her into his home and was teaching her sign language. Of course, she liked him and Jason didn't have the right to do anything about it just because he hated Wayne's guts. He hoped though that Wayne had finally learned his lesson and treated Cass the way she deserved to be treated. Otherwise, Oracle would probably seize all his assets and send a covert kill squad.

They each took a slice of cake. Bruce, Cass and Stephanie were signing to each other. Steph seemed cordial to Wayne, stiffly going along with the conversation for Cass' sake. The rest of the Birds didn't even look at Wayne. Damian sat down next to Jason, ignoring Wayne as well.

"Is this seat taken?", someone said behind Jason.

Tim Drake.

"No, man", Jason said, "Knock yourself out."

Tim nodded in thanks and sat down. He kept throwing glances at Jason.

"Spit it out", Jason took another slice of that cake.

"I can't believe we were brothers in another timeline", Tim took Jason in, analyzing every inch of him.

It was freaky. What had Nightwing told him? That Tim had been the detective of their little vigilante bunch? Jason could see it. He felt like he was under a magnifying glass, all of his flaws open to Tim's invasive gaze.

"Yep", Jason looked down at the slice, digging in, "It's fucking awkward. Can't imagine myself being adopted by some rich fuck."

"Bruce isn't that bad."

Jason scoffed, talking with his mouth full: "That's why two-thirds of the people on this table hate his guts."

"I know what he did - intellectually", Tim said, "I guess I just didn't experience it like the rest of you did."

"Good for you", Jason muttered, "You don't have grieving Dickwing at home."

Jason had started calling the Dick/Nightwing amalgam that. It made things far easier and had the side effect of annoying Dickwing. Win-win.

"I hoped they would be here today. Bruce talks a lot about them."

"No way. You can't mention Wayne around them without them either becoming furious or miserable. That bridge is burned. Nightwing is probably out there punching the shit out of criminals", Jason pushed the last piece of cake into his mouth.

It tasted heavenly. Alfred had outdone himself.

"I get it", Tim said, "It's a bit sad you know. Here I am finally getting a family and then it's completely broken."

Wow. Rich kid was dumping all his issues on Jason.

"That's life", Jason muttered, glaring at Wayne over his emptied plate, "Get used to it."

Tim was silent. Jason looked at him. Tim's face had fallen, showing genuine sadness. The guy looked like a kicked puppy. Jason knew that look far too well. Almost everyone in Juvie had worn it. They had been a miserable bunch of delinquent kids and for some reason rich kid Drake looked like that, too. Jason opted to ignore it. Tim wasn't family. His issues weren't Jason's.

"You eating that?", Jason pointed at Tim's plate with his fork.

Tim moved his plate over to Jason: "Knock yourself out."

It didn't sound natural coming from that rich kid's mouth. Jason dug into Tim's slice. Trying to ignore Drake's melancholy.

"Nightwing, what is he like?", Tim asked.

Jason decided to take some pity on Drake.

"He is mourning most of the time. But he seems like a cool guy. Kind of scary actually the way he could kick all our asses – except for Cass' probably."

"Did he mention me?", Tim asked.

"He mentioned that other version of you. His little brother. If you spent enough time around Nightwing, you notice that he adores his little siblings."

Tim nodded: "I feel bad for him."

"Well, Wayne screwed him over big time."

"I know", Tim said, "For what it's worth, I think he has changed though."

Jason shrugged. He didn't care about Wayne's fucking character development. Not when Wayne's selfish actions had killed his whole family, led to Huntress' death and trapped Nightwing and Dick in their tricky situation. It was a miracle that Dickwing was still sane and even working together most of the time.

"I would have loved to meet him today", Tim seemed hunched in on himself. Insecure.

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose. Who was he kidding? Jason was as bad about strays as Dick.

"Look, kid", Jason said, "How about you come with us to Blüdhaven after the party and go see him? He'd probably be happy to see you."

It also wasn't fair that Nightwing was all alone (except for the guy he was mindmelted with) while Jason, Damian and the rest of the family were eating cake together. If anything, Wayne should be all alone in his giant mansion. Seeing his little brother would be a nice surprise that would cheer Nightwing up a bit.

"Look", Jason said, "I'm sure Nightwing would love to see you. He's been grieving other-you. I can take you with us to Blüdhaven as long as you don't complain about overcrowded motorcycles."

"Really?", Tim said.

"Sure, kid", Jason suddenly felt very old and jaded.

How much of an age difference was there between him and Tim? The guy just seemed so wide-eyed and eager.

"You're going to Blüdhaven?", Steph asked.

She had totally eavesdropped on them. Jason couldn't be annoyed. He respected the hustle. Out of all of them, Stephanie was probably the most like him. Also, from the Narrows with a shitty family history. Jason felt a kinship with her.

"Sure", Jason shrugged.

"I want to come", Steph said, "Dick is being rude by not visiting me. And I haven't had much opportunity yet to talk with Nightwing."

"All of the Birds are coming, too", Selina grinned in amusement.

"And you are deciding that?", Barbara said.

"I'm being a good friend by setting you up with a cute guy", Selina leaned back in her chair, "Thank me later."

"A cute guy who consists of two people", Barbara muttered.

"Who are also kind of one person so it works out", Steph laughed.

Barbara shot her a dirty look. It was less intense than the one she shot at Wayne though. Probably Oracle's version of amusement.

"It's back to Blüdhaven, everyone", Jason said.

Steph signed to Cass. Cass nodded. She stood up and gave Wayne a quick hug. The billionaire was frozen, his face ashen. He knew that he was not invited. But he didn't complain.

"I understand", Wayne retreated to his armchair.

"Thank you for the party, Mr. Wayne", Tim said.

"Sure, Tim", Wayne gave him a sad smile.

Jason didn't feel bad.

"Come on, Demon", Jason said, "Let's cheer Dickwing up."

Damian didn't need to be told twice. He was out of his chair quickly.

Nightwing took over the moment Jason and Damian had left the house. Dick didn't begrudge him for it and simply let him take control. Nightwing hesitated. But he sighed and put on the armor that Wayne had sent them.

"Only because you die with me if I die", Nightwing said, "Otherwise, I'd rather catch that bullet than taking Bruce's pity-gifts."

Dick almost felt touched by that statement if it wasn't so disturbing. Maybe he was the only factor keeping Nightwing from being downright suicidal.

"I'm not suicidal", Nightwing said, "Well, not anymore."

Dick tried to send the mental equivalent of a hug to his partner-in-mind. He sounded like he needed it.

"Partner-in-mind", Nightwing chuckled while he opened the window, "I like that."

Nightwing grappled through the city and Dick simply enjoyed being along for the ride. Flipping over streets, cartwheeling over rooftops, scaling walls in seconds – all with seemingly boundless energy.

It wasn't completely foreign to Dick – being an acrobat himself. But he had to admit that he was heavily out of training and had forgotten quite a lot of his ability. Nightwing didn't have this problem. He had never stopped, trained even more instead. And together with their body being juiced-up by the Lazarus-pit, he could do incredibly things.

They stumbled upon a few low level-crimes and Nightwing broke them up within seconds.

They saw a mugging in an alley. A criminal threatening a couple with two kids – a boy and a girl. The parents were trying to shield their kids with their bodies. Dick wondered if Wayne would get flashbacks from this scene if he saw it.

Nightwing landed behind the mugger saying: "Threatening kids with a gun? That's low."

The mugger flinched turning around and pointed the gun directly at Nightwing's face. Nightwing was on the balls of his feet ready to move within milliseconds. He moved before robber's finger even twitched, dodging the bullet. Nightwing kicked the gun out of the mugger's hand.

The criminal stood there raising his hands: "What the hell are you?"

"I'm Nightwing", he smiled, "I'm new. Well, not completely. You could call my relationship-status with Blüdhaven complicated."

"Holy fuck", the guy shook his head while Nightwing handcuffed him, "I thought this freaky shit could only happen in Gotham."

Nightwing grinned: "Spread the word for me, will you?"

"Sure, man", the criminal muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

This conversation was surprisingly casual considering that the guy had just threatened to kill four people.

"Call the police", Nightwing told the family.

They seemed too surprised to react. Only the little girl approached them tentatively. She played with the hem of her shirt in nervousness. Nightwing tried to ease her nervousness with a smile.

"Are you like the Birds of Prey?", she asked.

"Sure", Nightwing twirled one of his escrima sticks, "I know them. They are great."

The girl looked up at him in awe: "Can you tell Spoiler that she is really cool? She's my favorite. I love her purple costume."

"I'll tell her. She'll be very happy to hear that. It's her favorite color."

"It's my favorite color, too", the girl replied excitedly.

"You have great taste", Nightwing saluted towards the girl and grappled away.

Dick had to admit that this had been cute. Steph would be over the moon once she heard about being the girl's favorite.

"She will be", Nightwing chuckled doing another cartwheel, "I missed this."

Dick got why Nightwing liked this. It was incredibly freeing.

"You caught a taste of the vigilante-life. Your Jason is right. You are an adrenaline junkie."

Dick was about to deny it when he decided to just let it stand like this. Maybe he was less about that normal life than he pretended to be. Despite Dick's best attempts, his life had never been ordinary.

"I think you are bound to have a weird life when you start out as a circus brat", Nightwing said while flipping over a ledge.

Probably true. Dick had felt more like a circus brat in the last weeks with Nightwing than he had had for years – even decades at this point. He had missed it.

They continued like this for a while. Nightwing's moves were getting more outrageous even for him. The vigilante was definitely showing off.

Nightwing was about to jump headfirst off a ledge when he stopped suddenly on the brink of the building. Their body swayed but Nightwing's balance managed to keep them on the ledge. It must be something instinctual because Nightwing's head felt completely paralyzed from shock.

Dick wondered what had happened. He tried to pinpoint the cause of Nightwing's abrupt change in emotion. There was nothing Dick could identify. Across the street from them was a typical Blüdhaven building. Old and decrepit. The decaying look clashed with the giant colorful billboard that had been slapped onto the façade.

Nightwing was taking in calming breaths, trying to avoid hyperventilating. His gaze wandered to the billboard, transfixed by it. Dick examined the billboard closely, still not recognizing any potential triggers. It was an advertisement for a childish videogame.

Nightwing sat down on the ledge of the building hiding his face in his hands. His breath was still racing, the breathing techniques apparently not helping.

Nightwing sat there for a while, his breaths rasping through the night. It was quiet up here, except for Nightwing's desperate attempts to get himself back under control. Dick didn't understand. He must have been missing something. What was special about this billboard? It looked like any other silly Blüdhaven-billboard.

"You don't get it", Nightwing muttered when his breathing had reached normal levels again,

"Why am I even doing this? It doesn't matter what I do. Anyone can just erase it in one second with the right tool."

Nightwing spread his fingers wide, looking at the street below them. He kept looking and looking. His eyes fixated on the streets below them. They were so far up that Dick couldn't hear the screams of the drunk partygoers anymore or the rush of the cars. Nightwing's mind was simmering with grief. And he kept staring at the grey asphalt as his body slumped in on himself.

Dick felt panic rush through his own mind. He knew what Nightwing was thinking about. Dick had considered it himself in his darkest moments in Juvie or on the streets before he had met Jason. He had never done it and he was grateful for towards his past-self for keeping on going.

Dick took control over their body again before Nightwing could do something stupid. It was strange to be in control while wearing the costume. Dick had never taken over during their vigilante-outings before.

"I thought you said you weren't suicidal anymore", Dick said.

'I'm not. Thinking about it is something different than actually doing it.'

"It still comes awfully close."

'I'm sorry', Nightwing sighed, 'I just saw that damn ad and it was over.'

Dick frowned and looked at the ad – taking in the name of the game for the first time. Cheese Vikings 8? Seemed like some silly game.

'It's not some silly game. It was Damian's favorite game series. We played all of them together. I gave Damian tokens for his birthday. My Damian. But he is dead now. We'll never get to play this silly game together.'

Dick's stomach felt queasy upon that admission. No wonder that Nightwing had reacted in such an extreme way.

"I'm sorry", Dick said, "I didn't know."

Everything Dick could say felt inadequate. Dick knew grief. He hadn't been the same ever since losing his parents. But losing your whole world? All the people you loved? How could you ever come back from that? And Nightwing was doing this partly for Dick. He was doing this so that Dick and all his loved ones could live. It was Dick's fault that Nightwing was stuck like this. If Dick hadn't taken his place in the universe. Or if Dick hadn't been so stupid to die.

Dick's thoughts raced, growing more erratic.

Nightwing stayed silent while they both simmered in their emotional regrets.

Nightwing said: 'It's not your fault. It's Bruce's. He killed them all. He killed me, too. But he forced me to come back. And now I'm a damn relic of a destroyed time.'

Dick took a deep breath. Trying to think of what to say. There was nothing good to say.

"I get it. I wish I could change it. But I can't. We can't. We are powerless in this situation", Dick said.

'All these attempts to get away from Bruce and be my own man. Only for him to trap me after all.'

"I'm sorry", Dick felt his own voice break and tears well up in his eyes.

Nightwing could reassure him as often as he wanted to but Dick was the reason Nightwing had lost his place in the universe. Dick was a waste of space that had taken the place of a hero. He was nothing in comparison. Completely insignificant. Maybe people had caught up on it before Dick himself had even known it.

Dick dug his fingertips into his palms. He had to get it together. He may be unremarkable compared to the man he was mindmelted with but he was still the mediator of their little group. Mediating between Jason and Damian. Mediating between them and Nightwing. Mediating between himself and Nightwing. Dick couldn't afford himself to fall apart. Not when he had to keep Nightwing together.

'It's not a competition', Nightwing's voice grew softer, 'And you don't have to keep me together. You have a right to be sad yourself.'

Dick shook his head. If he couldn't at least do the job of keeping his superior counterpart together, what was he good for?

'You are too hard on yourself. I never expected to say this to anyone else because that is usually my problem. Apparently, it's a universal constant that we will be hard on ourselves.'

Dick didn't know how to react to that. Was he too hard on himself? Dick didn't know. He just knew that he felt useless and insignificant – weak. He was here falling apart, while his brothers were celebrating at Wayne Manor. It would be so much easier if they could forgive Bruce. Keep the peace and move on.

'I know', Nightwing said, 'Do you know how much I wish I could forgive him? He's the only one from home whom I have left. But I can't. He trapped me here all alone. And I can't forgive him for that.'

"I can't forgive him either", it was the first time Dick spoke it aloud, "I like you, Nightwing. You are far from the worst guy I could be mindmelted with but I wasn't the most well-adjusted person before we met. I had issues to deal with."

'I get it. I'm extra baggage.'

"You aren't baggage. You are a person."

'A whole other person that is stuck in your head with their own baggage from hell added on to your own baggage from hell', Nightwing said.

Dick sighed, feeling like a garbage person for admitting it: "It's just a lot to shoulder and I don't think I can do it."

They sat there, slumped over. Dick hid his face in his hand, obscuring their view. Everything felt less overwhelming without the neon-lights filling his eyes.

Dick's phone rang. Dick sighed, taking a deep breath. He took out his phone seeing that it was Jason. Dick rightened his back trying to project the image of the big brother again who had it all together.

"Hey, Dick", Jason said, "Is it you?"

"It's me", Dick's voice came out wrong.

Less confident than he wanted it to be.

"I thought you were patrolling. Shouldn't the other guy have taken over?"

"Well, things happened", Dick looked at the street below him, unable to keep the despair out of his voice.

"Dick", Jason's voice sounded alarming, careful, "Don't do anything you regret."

"I'm not that far gone, Jason."

Dick wasn't sure about Nightwing though.

"Good", Jason said, "Where are you? I'm coming."

"You are at the party. Don't-"

"We have long left that stupid party", Jason said, "I'm not leaving the both of you alone while we play happy family with Wayne."

Something warm spread in Dick's chest. He could always count on Jason to be there for him.

"We?", Dick asked.

"Damian, Tim, Barbara, Steph, Cass, Selina, Dinah and little old me."

"That's everyone", Dick frowned, "All of you left the party for me?"

"For both of you. The Drake-kid is very eager to meet Nightwing", Jason said, "You might not have noticed, but we care. And I know both of you have a lot to deal with. But isolating yourselves won't help. Let us support you."

"Jason, I don't know what to say."

"Just say yes, Dickwing", Jason said, "And get your ass over here. We are waiting. Alfred sends some cake."

"How could I say no to that?", Dick said.

"Time to get out of that damn spiral of negativity you were definitely stuck in."

Dick shook his head. Jason knew him too well.

"I'm glad you didn't make a stupid decision tonight", Jason said.

'They really care, don't they?', Nightwing sounded amazed, 'About both of us.'

"They do", Dick said, smiling to himself.

"What was that?", Jason asked.

"Nothing", Dick chuckled in relief, "I'm glad we didn't make a stupid decision tonight either."

Dick did the jumps back to the flat by himself. He wanted to feel this freedom for himself. Nightwing let him, knowing that Dick needed this. It would never be easy, but they would be all right. As long as they had people who could pull them back.

AN: There was comfort in the end.