Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

EPOV

I looked across the room, and even though I couldn't see Bella, I could hear her laughter. I could not think of the last time I had heard her laughing and the sound of it made my chest ache as I thought about the day my affair was discovered.

I remembered staring at Bella as she gawked at me in horror as I kneeled, naked on the bed behind Tanya who was still moaning beneath me, unaware of my wife who was standing in the doorway, watching our lewd display.

"Bella," I gasped as the air left my lungs in surprise. I was not expecting her to come back home. I wasn't expecting her to be here at all, but yet here she was creating my fall from grace.

Her brown eyes locked with mine for one split second before she dashed away from the room as if the devil himself was chasing her. I heard a door slam down the hall and the muffled sounds of what sounded like vomiting.

"Edward, what's going on?" Tanya asked me with all her gullibility staring up at me from her baby blue eyes. I watched as she rolled over slowly, as if it hurt her move and I had no doubt that it did after what I had done to her. She turned to face me, kneeling in front of me so close that our knees were almost touching. I looked at Tanya could see her youth and her susceptibility as she looked at me with her trusting eyes.

"I need you to leave," I said simply as crawled away from her, as I looked for my clothes only to remember that I had left them down stairs where I had discarded them.

"But, Eddie you're my ride," Tanya said with a pout as she looked at me, unsure of what to do now as I was ordering out.

"Yes, I know, but my wife is here," I replied as I pulled clean clothes out of my drawer to slip on as I glanced back at her. I watched as her lovely face went pale with the realization that we had been caught. It was the mere mention of my wife that Tanya shot out of the bed and paced the room with a grimace on her face from the sore muscles that she must have from our frenzied fucking of earlier, only to dart out of the room once realizing that she had left her clothes down stairs where she had entered the house.

I watched her walk out of the room rapidly and then listened to her descend the stairs to the main level only to be greeted with screaming. It was Bella's voice screaming such things as whore, slut, and useless home wrecker. I shook my head as I realized that I had left Tanya to face my wife alone.

"Get out of my house you dirty whore," I heard Bella hiss in anger as I descended the steps to find a naked Tanya cowering near the front door, sobbing uncontrollably from Bella's words.

"I need my clothes," Tanya stuttered through her tears and snot from crying.

"Get out!" Bella screamed as she stepped closer to Tanya as if she would harm her, causing Tanya to cowered deeper into the corner as she tried to convey some sense of modesty by attempting to cover her breasts and pussy with her hands. It was pointless since there was no hiding her nakedness or the smell of sex that rolled off of her in waves as she moved away from Bella until her back was pressed into the corner.

I stood at the bottom of the steps frozen at the display in front of me as I watched Bella open the front door before grabbing Tanya by the wrist. I listened to Tanya's begging for Bella to understand as she pulled her out of the corner with strength that I had not seen from Bella before.

"You want me to understand and be reasonable," Bella yelled in disbelief as Tanya tried to wiggle her way out of Bella's grip, but even from my distance I could see there was no escape for Tanya. I stayed back, trying to avoid the scene that Bella was creating with Tanya at our front door.

"I understand that you are fucking my husband in my house and because of that I don't have to be reasonable!" Bella yelled at the top of her lungs in anger as she shoved Tanya towards the glass screen door. I watched as Tanya struggled to get away from her as she noticed that I was in room with them.

"Edward!" Tanya screamed as she looked at me for help, as I stood there unmoving and uncertain as to what to do. I watched as Bella's head jerked as she turned to look at me with what could only be hate in her eyes. It was a fire that I had never seen before that was burning her up from the inside out. It was feral and passionate, as if she was a caged animal ready to strike with her looking at me the way she was.

Tanya took that moment of distraction to try to pull away, but it didn't work instead Bella was able to twist her around so that her whole front of her body was exposed to the neighbors that may have gathered to watch the horrible display that was occurring at what had been our peaceful home.

"I didn't know he was married," Tanya sobbed brokenly, lying to my wife, as she attempted to save herself from Bella's wrath by placing the entire blame at my feet.

"Liar!" Bella screamed as she shoved her into the glass again while I watched, frozen in place, knowing that Tanya would be out on our lawn, bare for the world to see in another hard shove or two from my wife.

"I didn't!" Tanya cried as she grabbed at the door frame to try to stop from being shoved out into the yard.

"Liar! You knew! Our pictures are all over this house! He is wearing his damn ring while our wedding picture was by the bed he was fucking you in! Don't you dare fucking lie to me!" Bella yelled in anger and then shoved her once more so that the glass door came open causing Tanya to tumble out upon on brick steps naked and crying.

"Stay away you filthy whore!" Bella screamed as she watched Tanya stumbled upon her knees, trying to cover herself as our neighbors gawked at her nakedness. She quickly shut and locked the door, leaving her to fend for herself with nowhere to go and no clothes to put on since her clothes were scattered all over the kitchen floor where I had left them.

I stood motionless as I watched Bella try to breathe, but her breathing was coming in short gasps as if she could not get any air. I knew right away she was having an asthma attack and would need her inhaler.

I grabbed for her purse as Tanya pounded on the front door pleading for mercy and to be let back in. I ignored Tanya's pleas as I attempted to help my wife by getting her inhaler, but Bella knocked me out of the way as she reached her purse first dumping it in search of the inhaler while I watched the contents of it scatter across the hard wood floor of our front room.

"Bella please let me…" I said as I stepped closer to her as I slowly reached to take the inhaler out of her shaky hand in order to hold it so she could breathe in the medicine she needed to try to regain her breath.

"Don't touch me," she gasped while she brought the inhaler up to her pouty pink lips and puffed on it in effort to calm her breathing.

"Bella, I'm sorry," I stuttered as Tanya's pounding and sobbing became the audio reminder of my indiscretions.

Bella remained silent as she refused to look at me, but instead looked about our front room with a crazed look on her face. I watched as she noticed the pile of pillows that I had built for comfort while fucking Tanya on her good velvet couch and then she took in the coffee table with its contents spilled upon the floor form when I cleared it off to use as leverage while fucking Tanya from behind. She looked back me incredulously as she pieced together in her mind what had happened while she absent and then raced to the kitchen while I sat down upon the steps as despair washed over me since I knew what she would find there. She would find my clothes and Tanya's clothes strewn about the room from where I had fucked her on Bella's granite counter top. My heart started bleed as I listed to Bella's high pitched cry of pain that morphed into dry heaves in the kitchen sink. She knew. She knew it all and there was nothing I could say to change it or even make it better.

I sat there, frozen in time, as I listened to my Bella waver back and forth between wretched sobbing and dry heaves set in rhythmic time to the caterwauling cries of begging for forgiveness from Tanya as I wondered how I had created this mess. Slowly, I stood up and walked to the kitchen only to find my wife leaning over the sink as she sobbed. I carefully extended my hand to softly touch her back in a comforting manner that made her halt in her movements as my hand laid heavy upon the small of her back.

"Don't touch me," she whispered in a ragged tone as she refused to look at me.

"Bella, look at me," I whispered, thinking that if I could just get her to look at me I could smooth this over like at had done before with any of our large fights, but I should have known better since this was no fight, this was me fucking some other woman that wasn't my wife.

"No, I can't look at you. I can't stand who I'll see," she whispered in an uneven tone as she looked out the window to our back yard so our eyes would not meet. That simple statement from her in such a small voice pierced my heart with a violent force that caused me to stumble back from her slightly.

"Bella, please," I managed to say as my numb fingers caressed her back softly in a soothing manner that felt foreign to me while she grimaced under my touch. I couldn't think of the last time that I had touched her to bring her comfort, hell, I couldn't think of the last time I had even touched her.

"You…You… You…" she stammered as she tried to move away from me only to start to dry heave once more. I waited for her to finish as I rubbed her back softly, feeling her muscles heave and strain beneath my touch to purge herself of whatever was left in her stomach until she finished.

"Stop touching me!" she screamed in anger as I jerked my hand away from her in surprise from her outburst.

"How long?" she asked me as she found her voice once more. I knew what she was asking, but I suddenly found myself not wanting to tell her. I had always imagined this moment, the moment of telling Bella of my affair. I had imagined feeling vindicated in being able to show her that I wanted by another. I had imagined feeling powerful as I watched her crumble before me with regret, but seeing her doubled over, dry heaving from nerves in between gasps from her inhaler to allow her to breathe I felt none of that. There was no vindication. There was no power to be found as I destroyed the woman whom I had promised forever to. I was just another asshole husband who was caught cheating by their wife. I had become what I had always mocked.

"I asked you how long?" she demanded from me as anger found its way back into her tone.

"About a year," I whispered to her and then watched her lovely profile as she closed her eyes and stifled a sob. I had never felt like a bigger dick than in that moment of watching my wife struggle to keep it together in front of me. I watched her breathe in and out as she tried to stop crying unsuccessfully as she refused to look at me still.

"A year," she said in soft sob as she looked away from me, as if she was embarrassed over her tears.

"So, all the nights you were staying late, it was her?" she asked me as I nodded my head to confirm her suspicions since there was no need to lie to her about my infidelity any longer.

"All the times you told me not to come to your office, you were having her come to your office," she said with another soft sob as I nodded my head, feeling the crushing guilt wash over me as she shook her head no at me.

"All the times you missed your son's games when you could have been there, you were with her," she said, not looking at me and no longer even paying attention to my admission of guilt.

"All the times you refused to make love to me was because you were too tired from fucking her," she hissed at me as if the words were bitter in her mouth while I looked at away, refusing to acknowledge her statement even though my heart told her that it was true.

"You brought that whore to our house…" she stammered as I winced at her words.

"You fucked that whore in my house," she said as her voice grew stronger as I flinched at her angry tone. Bella turned quickly to face, shocking me since she had been refusing to even look at me.

"You fucked her in our bed, Edward. Our bed!" she screamed at me and then started swinging at me in a manic manner her angry blows landed on my chest, my arms and finally my face. I couldn't stop her from hitting me because I knew I deserved it. I deserved her anger and more as she slapped at me in fury.

"Bella, just let me…" I started to say, not even sure what I would say to finish this thought.

"Just let you what? Finish? I watched you finish, asshole. I watched you fuck her in the ass like the fucking deviate you are so what is it you are needing for me to just let you now? Since I can't think of anything you could say to me that would change what I have witnessed you doing today!" She screamed at me in anger as she continued slapping at me in anger until she was spent from the emotion pouring out of her. I watched as Bella's slapping slowed until she slowly slipped down the counter until she was sitting upon our hardwood floor at my feet, sobbing once more.

Bella was right. There was nothing I could say or do to change what she had witnessed or what I had done. I slowly slipped down to sit in front of her in order to plead my case even though I had no case to plead.

"Baby, please," I said softly as I moved closer to her to touch her arm, but at my touch she flinched and screamed for me to leave her alone.

"Baby, please. Just let me touch you, let me explain," I whispered to her, but she just shook her head no violently as if she could wish me away with her refusal to listen to me. I moved closer to her and Bella brought her hand down to her side to help push away from me, but there was nowhere for her to go.

"I'm sorry baby," I whispered to her as I brought my face closer until I could press a kiss to her hot, tear stained check as she flinched under my touch. I dragged my nose along her check, breathing in the scent that was Bella alone until I reached her ear to place a soft kiss against its outer shell.

Bella turned slightly to look at me with her eyes blazing in anger. Her face was contorted in anger as she met my gaze for the first time since seeing me in bed with Tanya. Her eyes were ice cold and had a distant look about them that I had never seen before. It was a look that shot fear through my system as she stared at me in the silence of what had been our one time happy home.

We stared at each other with Bella's icy stare gazing into my soul, looking for something within, but what that was I did not know. It was in that moment as Bella searched my soul that the pounding on the front door resumed followed by crying. It was Tanya, reminding me that she was still outside, naked and humiliated from being tossed out of my house, not that I cared since the only thing I cared about was in broken by my own hands sitting in front of me.

I watched the hardened mask of anger settle over Bella's features as Tanya's caterwauling increased once more. It was hard look of hidden pain that stabbed at my chest with its intensity.

"You better take your whore home before the police are called," Bella said in a monotone that shocked me with how dead she sounded as she scrambled to stand up and place some apace between us.

"I will be back," I said with calm, assurance as I scooped up Tanya's discarded clothes as she looked away from me once more.

"No need to bother, Edward. I don't want you here anymore," she whispered as she ran a hand over her face as if she was trying to collect herself. Her words with their dead calm, confidence sliced through my heart since I knew with her quiet, yet somber tone that she was serious.

I slowly turned to leave out the garage door, but before I left I looked back at my wife as she stared out into our backyard as if the quiet forest that bordered our back yard held some answers for the dilemma she was facing.

"I mean it. Don't come back. Go pack your bags and leave," she said with a steady tone that scared me since never during our fights had Bella insisted that I leave. Typically she would beg me not to go, but I would just leave her anyway so this change, this demand for me to leave was new and terrifying.

"Bella…" I stammered as I looked at her, pleading with her as she refused to look at me.

"Go, Edward. I don't want you here, and you don't want to be here either," she said as she looked away from me while I stood there, holding the girls clothes that I had stripped off just hours earlier when my life was better, easier.

"I love you," I whispered as I stood there, feeling the horror of guilt and desperation settle over me as I watched her shake her head no as she laughed a hiccupped filled laugh.

"No, you don't. If you did you would have been with me for the last year, not off fucking some whore while pretending to be a work. Now, get the hell out of my house and don't come back," she said with hard edge to her tone as she turned her back towards me to leave me behind.

I stood by the garage door with Tanya's clothes in hand unsure if I should leave or not, but after listening to Tanya's crying I knew I had no choice except to take her home. I walked out to the garage, opening it to the outside to give Tanya some coverage from the prying eyes of my neighbors.

I knew I could just not leave like what Bella had wanted even though there was no reason for me to stay. I had wanted Bella to need me again. I had wanted her to hurt for turning away from me, but now as I unlocked my car for a naked Tanya to scurry inside as my neighbors watched my walk of shame to get into the car next to her as she sobbed uncontrollably while trying to cover herself I knew I had been wrong. I had been wrong all a long and because of my mistake I would pay dearly.

AN:

Thanks for reading! I am still working on the views from last time so slowly, but surely I will get caught up here : )

Thanks to MommaLaura for betaing this fine mess. Thanks to Loopylou992 for reading over this mess as well.

Thanks to you the readers for giving this story a chance. I luv you all : )

Until next Friday…

Take care,

Mamasutra

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