Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I continued to watch Bella with Seth as they chatted animatedly. She had always claimed that he looked like me and yes, in many ways he did, but at that moment I could see so much Bella inside of him. It was a like a bright light shining from him with his goodness and that was just like his mother.

I watched them laugh together over some private joke before Bella turned suddenly and caught me staring at them. Our eyes met and for a brief moment I could see our shared history rush before my eyes. I could see her at sixteen in the class that where we first met. I could see her pale flesh against the black sheets in my bedroom during the first time we made love later that same year. I could see her bright smile on our wedding day and her tired grin after Seth was born. It was emotional and painful as our eyes met from across the yard. It took her all of one instant to stiffen uncomfortably under my gaze before replacing her slipping smile with a bright one that I knew was fake as hell. I wanted to feel bad that two years after our divorce Bella would still react to my presence, but if the truth was told, I loved that my proximity still affected her just by being in the same room.

I turned away from my family as I thought about the nights leading up to Bella's demand for a divorce. When she saw me at the coffee shop, freshly fucked with a crying Tanya shuffling behind me I knew that I had been caught once more, but this time I would be smarter about it. I didn't mean to have sex with Tanya. I had not meant for it to happen at all. I had followed the counselor's suggestions. I had done what I should have; the only thing I had not taken into consideration was my inability to say "no".

I remembered how Bella's brown eyes burned into mine. To my surprise they did not hold tears or sadness, but rather revulsion and a steely cold determination.

"Did you have sex with her?" she asked me in a dispassionate voice as she looked from my disheveled form to Tanya's who subconsciously tugged on her short skirt as if that would somehow make it longer.

"Bella…" I said softly, trying to keep her calm, but it wasn't Bella that needed calmed. It was me. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. Even though she wasn't yelling at me or Tanya, she might as well have been for all the reaction she was getting from the coffee shop patrons who were standing close by.

"Did you have sex with her?" Bella softly asked me with an eerie detachment once more as I watched Tanya look from me to Bella as she sniffled loudly before scurrying away from the scene that was being created before her.

"No, I didn't have sex with her," I said in a clear voice as she looked at me with her brown eyes blazing. I could not stand to look at her and lie which was odd since in the past year lying to her had never been an issue. I had done it and laughed about it later, but that night it made me sick to my stomach to lie to her.

I looked from Bella's cold eyes to my mother who stood beside my wife. She had a look of shame and sorrow on her face.

"Edward…" she stammered as if she was pleading with me over something I did not understand.

"Mom, I didn't have sex with her," I repeated smoothly as I discovered that it was easier to lie to her than Bella.

"Why don't we go home, now?" I suggested as if nothing had happened and all was normal. In the past, both women would have agreed with me, but this time Bella just shook her head in disbelief and walked out of the coffee shop. My mother, without another look followed close behind her.

I wasn't sure what had happened with the two women, but it was at that exact moment that I felt a shift in my world. I should have known that any shift like that would be damaging, but instead I took comfort in the false calm that surrounded me. Bella had not over reacted to finding me and Tanya had not said a word about our restroom tryst. I told myself that my wife would believe me over what was glaring in front of her as being wrong. I told myself that all would be fine and I believed it. I should have known better.

That night I went home, expecting to find Bella. After all, she had left the coffee shop before I had. Instead, I found an empty house. Seth was staying with my brother and his family while Bella was still missing. I sat in our front room waiting. It wasn't until after three in the morning that my wife finally arrived back at our home.

It was oddly chilling how she entered the house and went directly back to our guest room without a glance or word in my direction as she passed by me.

"I was worried about you," I called after her as she continued to walk away from me.

"The least you could have done was call to say that you were going to be late," I yelled after her as she climbed the stairs with me closely following behind.

"Bella, what the hell…" I called as she walked down the hall and entered the bedroom silently. I waited for the loud slamming of the door to tell me how angry she was with me, but there was nothing. The only sound I heard was the soft click of the door closing followed by the snap of the lock, telling me that I was banished from our make shift bedroom for the night.

The next few days followed a similar pattern. I would come home to silence. No one was home. No notes, nothing to tell me what was going on. It was oddly out of character for Bella and every time I approached her over her change in behavior she would leave me in silence. The only time she spoke to me was during her daily quiz regarding what she had seen in the coffee shop that night.

"Did you have sex with that girl?" she would ask me as I tried to make conversation with her. Each time she would ask me I would promptly tell her "no" and after each response she would always leave me in silence.

On the third day I could not take her cold silence any longer. I left the hospital to confront Bella at her job. I knew she could not run away from me there like she would at home. I reached her office in record time and walked in with determination as I sought out my wife.

I was greeted immediately by the receptionist who gave me an odd smile as if she was uncomfortable that I was standing before her desk.

"Hello Heidi, I need to see Bella," I said with a charming smile that used to make the poor girl stutter with nerves. Instead of being flustered by the flirting tone I used, she just looked scared as she stared back at me.

"Uh, Edward…" she stuttered nervously, but was cut off by a booming voice that interrupted our conversation.

"Edward! What are you doing here?" Mike Newton called out as he approached the reception desk rapidly as my inquiry was directed at him.

Mike was the other loan officer who worked with Bella. I had hated him from the moment I met him and hated him more now. I knew that he was one of the men that had offered to comfort my wife while I was working long hours.

"Mike, I am here to see Bella," I said as I tried unsuccessfully to keep the irritation from my voice.

"Well, Bella isn't here. I figured that she was with you. She said something about a personal day and needing to straighten things out," he replied with a knowing smile. It was that smile that hit me in my gut, knocking the wind out of me. I hated the idea that he might know about my affair since in his deranged mind, it would give him an opportunity with my Bella.

"Yeah, well, I thought I was to meet her here," I said with a smile that made him frown for some reason as he looked at me.

"If she comes in I will tell her you stopped by," he offered and then said good bye before leaving me at the desk with Heidi who was on the phone. It was as if they both were avoiding me, not that I cared. The only thing I cared about was whether my wife was avoiding me and that appeared to be exactly what she was doing.

I spent the rest of the day was spent wondering where the hell Bella was if she wasn't at work. Every lewd and sordid thought ran through my mind as I pictured her meeting with some faceless lover in some seedy motel room. In every image I could see Bella, flushed pink and blissful, but it wasn't that thought that tore me apart it was the idea that she would allow another man to touch her.

Bella and I had been each other's firsts. It was something special between us. Something that I had wrecked by being with Tanya, but that did not mean that I wanted Bella to take a lover. I had told myself that I had just wanted her to notice or at least fucking care what I was doing. I had even gone so far as to tell Bella that it was this reasoning that caused me to stray. I know it wasn't a good reason, but it was the one I used. I couldn't ever tell her the truth that I had done what I had because I could. There was nothing stopping me. Not Bella. Not our son. Nothing stopped me. If the truth was known there was an incredible power that came with such an act of sex. It was a twisted power that was highly addictive as it robbed me of reason, but this something I would never be able to explain to Bella.

I managed to return home and wait for Bella just like I had every other night since our tragic meeting at the coffee shop. Just like every night since then Bella avoided me. She didn't return home until after seven o'clock and this time she had Seth with her.

"Where were you?" I demanded as I greeted them at the door in anger. I watched in amazement as she walked by me with a side with a sideways glance and a large box of pizza in her hands.

"We were at Seth's game," she replied calmly as if there was nothing out of the ordinary while she motioned for Seth to get drinks together for dinner. I looked over at my son who avoided eye contact with me as well.

"You could have called," I replied in a huff while Bella snorted in laughter at me.

"What?" I demanded as she laughed at me softly.

"All you had to do was look at the fridge, Edward," she replied with a humorless laugh as she motioned towards the refrigerator where Seth's schedule was proudly displayed. Her dismissal of my concern made me feel foolish, but there something more than that and I could not put my finger on it. I could not name it or place it, but something was off. Bella had never been like this before. She had never been so non caring and that hurt.

"Where were you today?" I asked her as I watched her grab a slice of pizza after Seth had nearly taken the whole damn pie for himself. My question made her pause for a moment before she continued on to grab her glass of soda, but she remained silent.

"I went to your office and you weren't there," I said softly as I watched Seth grab his plate and leave us alone just like he had been doing for the last couple of nights. Bella watched him go with a pained expression, but did not stop him as he left us in the kitchen to eat alone.

"Where were you?" I asked her again, almost pleading as she looked away from me. I knew that look just like I knew her. It was a look of guilt. Bella had done something, but was refusing to tell me and it made my heart ache.

"Where were you?" I demanded as she shook her head no at me while not meeting my gaze.

"What does it matter?" she asked me in a whisper while looking out the window over our wooded backyard.

"Because you're my wife and I was worried about you," I said in a constricted voice as my throat closed around the words while emotions like worry and regret swelled inside of me. I knew I had no right to chastise her about her whereabouts after what I had done, but that wasn't enough to stop me.

I watched as Bella laughed softly at my words as if I was making a joke or attempting to make her laugh, but she still would not look at me.

"Well, you sure pick odd times to remember that fact, don't you," she said with the same humorless laugh before turning to leave me alone in our empty kitchen.

AN:

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I am sorry that I have not kept up with the review replies, but I am trying : )

Special thanks goes out to 3c Cullen and MommaLaura for betaing this hot mess for me. Hugs to you girls!

Thanks to LoopyLou992 for pre reading this hot mess and keeping me inspired. You all should check out her story Karma Killer. It has a hot nerdy Edward and a bitchy Bella. It's good folks : )

I would also like a shot out to Twilightma1954 for her kind words via PM today. I updated early for you : )

Until next time…

Take care,

Mamasutra

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Thanks for reading : )

Mamasutra/Lori