Hello!

This is an old chapter I found in my files, because I'll be honest and say I could not remember what direction I wanted to take them in after that blowup.

There is so much work needed to be done to this story from each chapter, but let's ignore that for now and save it for another day, okay? This is a LONG-WINDED story because I took so much time developing these characters and their dimension, so it's hard to even think about saying goodbye!

I hope you guys enjoy the update!

Four Months Later-

"She's getting big so fast." Emmett exclaimed. We watched Lana run back and forth across the playground, her little pig tails bouncing with her. "Are you making it okay?" He looked genuinely concerned, not something she was completely used to.

Emmett was the only genuinely good Cullen that I ever met. He was the youngest and the good boy out of the bunch. He never went to the kickbacks, kept his nose in books, and mostly downplayed that whole lifestyle his two older brothers had glorified.

I nodded slowly, not able to speak about it just yet. As much as I had wanted to stay with Edward, it just wasn't ever going to work out. He knew that and I knew that- the first few weeks had been rough, but we were months down the road and things were starting to shape into a new normal for us. I had made a system of dropping off Lana at Rosalie's where Eddie could pick her up for a few hours then take her back on the weekends, and it worked for us both. I didn't have to see his stupid face and he didn't have the chance to say lame ass "sorry's" or whatever it was he thought she wanted from him.

"I don't know if I've ever told you how much I appreciate you for stepping up like you did." Emmett's sweet smile was too much to take. I started to wave him off because it wasn't like I really knew how to take a compliment anyway, but he put his hand up to me to stop it. "No, really, Bella- when she was born Liz and Erick just dumped her off on you, and as much as I wanted to help, I was still in school. I was selfish, I feel like an ass every time I think about it." I didn't say anything, letting him continue uninterrupted.

He leaned forward on the bench, staring out into nothing. "I was busy doing homework and chasing girls- and you were raising a baby. I can't get over that."

"You were living your life. This is on Liz and Erick, not you." I shrugged. "I was mad at first, but then Lana started growing up and I realized how lucky I actually was. None of our parents or siblings got to experience that, just me." My sister and I had parents that were sort of removed from reality when it came to Elizabeth and her life decisions, and Erick's parents were mostly exempted from Lana's life because of the risks (and they hadn't ever made a real effort anyway). The thought of Eric stealing Lana away had terrified her and as much as she had bonded with Emmett, Bella still didn't let Lana out of her sight around him.

Edward was the only brother that she had ever genuinely trusted with her niece.

My face flushed just thinking about that stupid bastard.

Emmett nodded. "So, uh- my parents…" I watched him intently as the dots dragged on with his tone. What did he want from Lana, and what did he want from me? "Would you be okay with them seeing her for Christmas?"

The question caught me off guard. All of these years later and they finally wanted to spend a Christmas with her? They had never sent a gift, or a card, or a fucking honey ham for her! And now they magically wanted to be with her like some Hallmark movie? One big happy family, then?

"Um…" I replied stupidly. Of course, I detested them for not fighting to see her more as she was growing up, but if I stood in the way of them getting to know her now then I would be no better than Elizabeth! If I could grit my teeth to move in with damned Edward, I could do just about anything. "They would have to come see her here." I gestured to the apartment a few steps away. It was a modest living arrangement, nothing too fancy but I could afford it and Lana adjusted well. "And it would have to be the day before, I'm taking her on a small vacation for the holiday."

Emmett sent me one of his boyish smiles. "I'm sure they can make it work." He took a sip from his coffee and set it back down between us. "Erick won't be there, of course," I let out a nasty snort at his words, "but I was hoping Edward could be invited." As much as I did like Emmett, he could be annoying.

They were his brothers, of course he would take any opportunity to advocate for them.

"He sees her almost every weekend. I'm sure he'll make some kinda holiday plan with her." I technically didn't say yes or no to Edward being allowed in my home, but he got the gist.

"Sure, of course." Emmett nodded.

The conversation died after that and we let Lana dictate the next hour. She played endless games with her uncle and recited all of the animal facts she knew until he gave us hugs and promised to see her soon- the short walk back to their home was quiet, something Lana never was. "You okay?" I ruffled her hair as we walked through the door, kicking away some fallen leaves from the doorstep.

My niece stopped in the middle of the doorway, her head angled up at me. "Are you and Uncle Emmett dating?"

I almost fell over. "What?" Emmett Cullen was sweet, and cute in a college boy way, but she would never go there. The thought of it made her sick. "No, Lana! What would make you ask that?" You mess around with one Cullen and no one lets you live it down! When my niece didn't say anything in response, I took a deep breath and tried again. "Are you thinking about me and your Tio?" Her big saucer eyes got watery, how they always did when we got around the subject of me and Edward, and I got down on my knees to be level with her. "You just saw him yesterday; do you miss him already?" She nodded slowly.

"I miss living at his house." She hiccupped in between words, tiny tears falling down her face. "I miss you being with him, like when you kiss." Lana wiped her face with a small hand and tightened her lips to keep the sobs away. "I miss pizza nights. And all of us having pancakes on the couch."

I shut my eyes against her words. I missed kissing him, too- but this wasn't the way it was going to play out. As much as I wanted to coax the tears away, I had to stay upfront and honest with her. Anything else would just be wrong of me. "You know that me and your uncle aren't getting back together, right?" My words made her cry harder, but I held her face in my hands. "But that doesn't mean he will go away. He will always love you and I will always love you, that won't ever change."

I knew I was making a drastic decision when I left his house that night. I packed all of our belongings that I could fit into the suitcases that I had on hand and never looked back. He called nonstop and filled my voicemail up at first as well as tried to show up unannounced in the first few weeks, but I promised that he would never see Lana again if he got in the way of me moving forward. Whether he liked it or not, I had saved up enough money to afford this little shabby apartment and an economy car- and I moved on.

"We're gonna live in separate houses, forever. And that's okay." I reminded her gently. "I love you, Lana, don't forget that."

Lana nodded. "I love you too, Aunnie."

I hugged her to me, too afraid that if I let her go, I'd fall into a heap of tears just the same.

I missed Edward.

I missed him when I went to bed, when I woke up, when it was quiet in the house and I was left alone with my thoughts.

I… I loved him. I knew that much for a fact- I loved him in the weirdest, most toxic way possible. As much as I wanted to be with him and fall into that pit of the unknown, we were bad for each other.

If Lana acted this way about our falling out just months into being together, how would she feel after a few years? It would have devastated her, so I did all of us a favor by cutting it at the stage that I did. I saved her a heap of heartache, I saved myself a heap of heartache- I did the right thing by leaving, no matter how many tears she and I would shed over it.

We would be okay.

I would be okay without Edward, and I needed to show her that.

Now if I only could convince my heart.