Epilogue 1 – Part 3

Ana

Something rouses me, and I instinctively go to roll over onto my stomach. Wait, can't do that anymore. I sigh and roll back onto my back. My complete lack of a bump has graduated into the kind of thing you have either after you ate a burrito from Chipotle or when your first trimester is about over. I'm the latter... but I'd also be cool with the former. Either way, having just passed twelve weeks, stomach sleeping is becoming a thing of the past again.

I reach my hand out for Christian and find cool, empty sheets. The clock on the table informs me that it's just after 3:00 AM, so I decide to get up to investigate. I have a feeling that his newly cavalier attitude towards work is catching up to him.

I expect to find him holed up in his office with the spreadsheets acting like sleep is for the dead, but I'm surprised when I find lights on in the opposite direction, accompanied by the smell of… chocolate? Oh, I bet the baby is awake now. What the hell is going on? I find the kitchen bathed in light, the oven on, and Christian sitting at the island with his laptop open and a pile of books next to him, staring at the screen with a furrowed brow and his hand under his chin.

I lean against the doorway for a moment, but he's too engrossed in whatever it is to notice me. "What are you doing?" I say with a hint of a laugh. He jolts and looks at me like he's got his hand stuck in the cookie jar. Yeah. Busted.

"You said you were craving brownies, and I had some… reading to catch up on."

Further inspection of the room reveals a mixing bowl sitting in the sink and a box of brownie mix tossed aside on the counter. "You're… making brownies?"

"Yes."

"For me?"

"Yes."

"In the middle of the night?"

"Yes, Ana."

"Have you ever made brownies?"

"No, and I don't know why they're taking so fucking long. Isn't a box supposed to be quicker? Why does it take half an hour?"

Is this actually happening right now?! I'm tempted to pinch myself. "Oh my God, I love you so much." I can't take it anymore and launch myself across the kitchen towards him. He stands up in time to catch me and hoists me up onto the counter.

We kiss for a minute before he pulls back and give me an almost smug smile. "I like this spot."

"What spot?"

"This spot. It's exactly where you were sitting when you kissed me for the first time after…" His voice trails off with a twinge of sadness in his eyes.

After. "How sentimental of you to recall."

His smile returns. "I'm quite the softie now."

"Well… not always." I nudge my pelvis against that not-so-soft part. "What are you doing up, anyway? Is this about work? You know you don't have to take so much time off, I'm—" I turn my head and the title of the top book on his stack stops me in my tracks… The Postpartum Husband: Practical Solutions for Living with Postpartum Depression. "Christian…"

"It's not work that keeps me up at night," he says quietly. I look up and his playful mood is gone, replaced with a haunted, troubled air coming from him.

"Christian, no matter what, it's going to be fine, I—"

He steps back, avoiding eye contact. "Don't say it's going to be fine, Ana. I was here and I didn't even know the first time. I've read story after story of women describing what it's like and it makes me sick to think that I didn't even know. And now it turns out that it could happen while you're still pregnant, too. So, I have to know what the fuck to do, because I dropped the ball hard last time."

"Christian. I didn't want you to know. I didn't want anyone to know, for reasons that were all fucked up in my own head. That's why you didn't know. But everything is different now. If something isn't right, you're the first person I'd talk to. Look, this is supposed to be a happy time. We shouldn't spend the whole time worrying about things that might happen. Can't we just focus on what's real? We're having a baby. That's real. The rest, we can figure out as we go along, if it happens. We can. We're in this together."

"I am happy, Ana. I'm ecstatic. I didn't know if this would ever happen for us again. That's why I need to know how to help you if you need it. It just feels like there aren't enough hours in the day…" He runs a hand through his hair and looks at me. "I keep thinking about what you said in therapy from when you got pregnant with Teddy. That the only reason I stayed was because you got kidnapped and then I was backed into a corner. Did you really think that?"

I pause, considering my words. "Yes, I thought that, because your initial reaction was so strong and because we weren't even speaking when it happened. But that's just something else that shows how different we are now. Because instead of retreating into my own insecurities about us, I should have talked to you. And obviously, I knew you loved us after some time. I mean, you wanted a second child. We were both so insecure about the other back then. You always thought I'd leave you, I always thought you'd get tired of me."

He nods in assent, then grimaces, and goes back to averting his eyes. "To know that you felt like that makes me feel like I don't deserve you and everything you've given me all over again."

Oh, hell, no. "I felt like that. I don't feel like that. It's in the past. And deserve us or not, you have us. That's not going to change as long as you don't give us up. Do I need to call Flynn?"

He sighs. "No. He hears enough about it, trust me, baby."

"You don't need to get a master's in psychology, Christian. All I really need from you is to be there for me and to listen to me and to love me even if I'm not myself. You're doing more than enough. I mean, it's three in the morning and you're downstairs researching postpartum depression while making me brownies. Who does that?" He finally looks up, making tentative eye contact with me. Yes! "You do, because that's just how you are when you love someone. I don't know what I thought would happen if we ever had another baby, but already, you've been everything I need and more. Way more. But I can't have you exhausting yourself trying to be everything and more for me. Honestly, Christian, I just want you. That's what I signed up for. Just you."

I wrap my arms around his neck and gently pull him to me, and he lets me. After a moment, he lays his head on my shoulder and sighs, returning my embrace. "I can't let you down again. Any of you."

"I know. But I know you won't. I feel exactly how much you want this every day that we're together. Trust me, I believe in you. I know who I love."

He holds me a little tighter, then raises his head to look at me. "You swear that you would tell me if something was wrong?"

"Yes, Christian, I swear. It would be the natural thing to do. You're my person."

"And you're doing fine? You swear?"

"Yes. Hungry, nauseous, horny, tired, the usual. But really, really happy. I feel nothing like I did then." I try to think of something to show him that I mean it. "Pinky promise."

He looks down at the pinky I'm holding out, then looks back up at me with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "Did you go to the Theodore Grey School of Sacred Oaths?"

"Hey, this one has lasted through the ages for a reason. Or I could marry you a third time if that makes you feel better."

He finally laughs, wrapping his pinky around mine. "Next time we do that, it'll be just you and me."

"I love you, Christian Grey. Ask me to vow it again anytime you want, my schedule's wide open for you." I grab his shirt and pull his lips down to mine, but just as they make contact, the oven timer goes off, and suddenly chocolate wins over kissing, just this once. "Well, go for it, Wolfgang Puck. Show me your masterpiece."

He smirks and takes them out of the oven while I try not to bounce up and down in excitement. Be cool. "Do they look okay?" he asks casually, but with an undercurrent of uncertainty.

"Christian! They look perfect! The top is all crusty just like I like them. That's it, final box checked, you are officially the man of my dreams."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what was the final box?"

"Using your already magic fingers to make my pregnant butt something delicious. Now you're perfect. No need to trade you in for a younger model… yet," I giggle.

His eyes widen, then narrow playfully. "Oh, baby. You know some young boy couldn't take care of you like I do." He goes to reach under my shirt.

"Wait, brownies first, then you can fuck me until dawn."

He laughs and shakes his head. "Okay. At least I know where I stand."

He tries to cut them, but they're so hot that they just immediately fall apart, so we pull out the wreckage and plop some ice cream on top of it. We clink spoons as we sit at the counter to enjoy our way-past-midnight snack, and then I see something else sitting beside his now abandoned laptop and books.

"I've basically worn mine out from looking at it all the time. I'm so glad we get a new one tomorrow," I comment, smiling down at the picture. We're about to have our first full anatomy scan, and most importantly, get updated pictures of our little not-a-blip.

He glances at his copy of the sonogram, then back down at me with warm eyes. "Wonder what they'll look like now that they're starting to show themselves to the world."

"Yeah…" I rub the small but defined bump. "Teddy is starting to give me weird looks when he hugs me. I think the jig is up."

He pauses, picking at his ice cream. "How do you think they'll feel?"

I shrug. "I don't know. I guess we'll find out. But… Teddy is the sweetest human being in the world. And Phoebe just came home with the sharing award from preschool. So… that gives me hope. And you." I reach over and take his hand, bringing it up to my lips to kiss. "No more middle of the night study sessions. If you want to be there for me, I absolutely insist that you take care of yourself, too."

He strokes my cheek with his thumb, smiling at me contentedly. "I love you, Anastasia."

"I love you, too. Now, I would really like to make love to my brownie-baking husband and then fall asleep next to him."

He smiles, somehow both salaciously and adorably. "I think that's what he was hoping for next."

"Look, Mommy, we did it!"

"Wow, that was the fastest one yet!" The puzzle obsession continues over here. At least a couple of nights a week, Teddy and Phoebe sit down to work on one together.

Christian gives me a look and I smile. Showtime. "Hey, why don't you get cleaned up and then we can all meet in the living room?" he calls.

Teddy gives him a suspicious look for a moment. "Okay. Come on, Fifi." He helps her put the pieces back in the box while I sneak one more look at the picture in my pocket.

The twelve-week scan went perfectly, everything measuring exactly as it should, and no abnormalities were detected in the bloodwork, which means that it looks like we have a healthy baby on the way. I've been wearing mostly shapeless sweaters to try to hide their growing sibling from them, but tonight, we break the ice.

As soon as they're finished, Teddy practically drags Phoebe into the other room. "Looks like someone is anxious to hear what we have to say," I giggle quietly. Nothing gets past that kid.

Christian looks over from behind at the sonogram in my hands, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and kissing my hair. "Should we get in there or let the anticipation sizzle?"

"I don't think I can wait any longer, so let's do this." I turn around and kiss him. "I love you. Just to remind you."

He smiles shyly and kisses me again. "I love you, too."

We enter the other room to see them sitting side by side, so we each take a seat on either side of them. Teddy's eyes dart back and forth between us. Yep, he definitely knows what's up. "So, Daddy and I have something to tell you." They both turn their gazes to me and wait. "In about six months, we're going to have a new baby. You're going to have a new sibling."

"Baby!" Phoebe yells, grabbing Teddy's arm and shaking it.

Teddy mouths falls open. "Are you serious?" He whips his head over to Christian.

"Yes," he answers. "What do you think of that?"

He turns his head back to me. "Is the baby in your belly?"

I nod. "Yes."

"Is that why it's been getting bigger?"

I smirk, and see that Christian is doing the same. "Yes. It's going to get a lot bigger, too. Like your friend's mom."

He nods. "Yeah, Mom, I know!" "How does the baby get out?"

I settle in for the Theodore Grey Inquisition. Christian handles this one. "When the baby is big enough, Mommy and I will go to the hospital, and they'll help her get the baby out."

"How did it get in your belly, Mommy?" His brow creases in confusion.

Saw that one coming! "Well… you know how your plants come from seeds?" He nods. "Babies are kind of like that, too. Mommies have a seed and daddies have a seed and when they get together, they grow into a baby."

His eyes widen and I can almost see the lightbulb pop up over his head. "Oh! Okay. Is it a brother or a sister?"

"We don't know yet. The baby is still very little, and the pictures we have of them are pretty blurry, so the doctors can't tell yet."

"Pictures?" Phoebe suddenly finds the conversation interesting again.

Christian pulls his copy out of his pocket and holds it in front of them. "This is what they look like now."

Teddy gasps. "Mommy! That really is a baby!"

"We're getting a baby!" Phoebe squeals.

"Do you want a brother or a sister, Ted?" Christian asks.

"Um… maybe a brother would be cool. But I love Fifi, so it's okay if I get another one of her."

"What about you, little girl?" I ask.

"I want a baby!"

Christian and I laugh. "Well, it's definitely a baby. In a few weeks, we'll get to find out whether it's a boy or a girl. Do you want to know, or do you want to be surprised?"

"I think I want to know. Six months is a really long time to wait," Teddy reasons.

"Yes, it is," I agree, stroking his hair. "Are you happy, sweetie?"

He nods and smiles, and I can tell it's genuine. "Yeah. Fifi and I get a new friend."

"And Miss Phoebe is going to be a big sister," Christian adds.

"Good thing she has you to show her how!" I tickle his curls.

"Why do we have to wait for the baby?" Phoebe grumbles.

"Well, they're not done growing yet. They're still too little to come out right now."

"See, Fifi, the picture is really little!" Teddy explains. "Do Grandma and Grandpa know yet?"

"No, we wanted to tell you first. Actually, we were wondering if you would help us tell everyone else?" Christian asks.

"Yes!" he cries. "You told me before the adults?"

"Yes, honey. You get to live with the baby, so you deserve to know."

He smiles widely and throws his arms around me. "I love you, Mommy." He kisses my cheek, then kisses my belly. "Hi, baby! I'm Teddy! I'm your brother!"

Phoebe jumps off the sofa and kisses the same spot. "Hi, baby! Come see us soon!"

I look over at Christian, and he's smiling down at them with pure contentment. "Six months will go by just like that, you two. Until then, it's still just us four," he says.

"Yes. A new baby is exciting, but this is pretty great, too," I tell them. "What do you say we watch a movie and then go to sleep?" And all baby talk is forgotten as they scramble to pick one out.

Christian wraps an arm around me and trails kisses up my cheek. "We did it, Mrs. Grey."

I inhale, enjoying his scent so close to me, and watch my babies interact with each other on the floor. For so long, I thought they'd only have each other. And now, they're full of excitement to learn that that isn't the case. "It's only just beginning."

This was meant to happen.

A/N: Hi friends! I noticed that there were some hopes that this would graduate into a story of its own, but I'm sorry, I don't think I have that in me at this point. I've covered all I planned to in the three parts (finally). MAYBE one day I'll do more outtakes if there's interest just to thank you for being such lovely readers, but no plans for more at this point.

Now there are two more separate epilogues which I'll TRY to keep as one part each, but you know me, I'm wordy.

Thanks for your well wishes for my move. I'm not actually moving until the beginning of August, I just packed up my old place this week and I'm staying with family until my lease starts. I've lived in the same house with five friends for the last three years of college/grad school and now we're all moving onto new things. The new place is nicer, but we had the best time here :) it's the end of an era!