Zevran knew enough from the sepia tones, from the misting edges of his vision. It was obvious he was in a Fade Nightmare. There seemed to be no demons outside his own mind, and yet, he couldn't warm the frost in his veins nor slow the rabbiting of his heart.
Kalya's dead eyes were open as she lay atop the block of ice. Pierced in the abdomen with Elissa's sword, in the same spot where she'd been gutted in the Trial of Crows. Her neck was craned back at a wrong angle, like when the ogre had shaken her like a ragdoll.
Guilt wasn't at the center of this dream. Instead: abject loss, loneliness, powerlessness. Their companions were nowhere to be seen, and somehow in his dream logic, he knew he had to move Kalya's body. To safety? Where was that?
Zevran gathered her limp frame into his arms just as a scaled dragon - the archdemon? - rose beyond the swirling mist of the trees, spreading its great wings wide. An ear-splitting screech pierced the air around him, and he jumped where he lay in bed, suddenly wide awake.
Camp was silent. Kalya was alive. And he wasn't getting any more sleep tonight.
After slipping assorted jars and bundles of roots into his satchel, Zevran ducked out of his tent. His heart lifted when he saw Kalya - alive and unimpaled - sitting on a rock by the crackling fire, chucking her daggers into a nearby tree.
Her green eyes lifted when he crunched a dry leaf purposely, announcing his presence.
"I'm unarmed," he said, hands raised with a smirk.
Kalya blinked at the satchel stretched across his chest. "Says the guy armed to the teeth with herbalism supplies. I'll bet you could kill someone with an elfroot."
"Ah, I've tried, mia cara, but the stalks keep breaking." He took a seat on the other end of the wide rock. "Couldn't sleep?"
"Yeah. This was actually Leliana's shift, but I sent her to bed an hour or so ago. No reason we should both have sleepless nights." Kalya flung the final knife into the thick tree trunk. The hilts alternated in a colorful pattern, forming a perfect circle.
"Look how good you're getting!" Zev beamed. "You never cease to amaze."
With a shy smile, Kalya stood to retrieve the knives. It wouldn't be much longer before the trees would be too frozen for her tricks.
Zev leaned back. The campfire did nothing to warm his insides, but its smoky scent calmed him ever so slightly. Or perhaps it was the company. Kalya flipped a dagger in one hand while she made her way back to her seat.
"Watch this. This one's for you." Kalya paused suddenly, eyes searching the middle distance before meeting his. "Which way does the 'Z' go again?"
It was so rare that Zevran saw this side of Kalya, vulnerable and proud. He worked the corner of his lip, stalling to drink her in a moment more, crystalizing the image of her relishing in her power. He took her soft hand in his and drew a "Z" on her palm.
After a moment's squint at the tree trunk for calculations, Kalya flicked her wrist, sticking the first knife into the tree sideways to form the top bar of the letter. With pursed lips and narrowed eyes, she lobbed the second knife into a high arc. Its trajectory looked to be aiming square for the ground next to the campfire, but when it was nearly shoulder-height, Kalya flung the third knife straight as an arrow, knocking into the blade of the second, which changed its course. They both thunked into the tree, forming a perfect letter "Z."
Zevran leaned back, genuinely tickled and clapping loud enough to threaten their companions' sleep. Kalya gave a small bow of appreciation.
"I've only ever seen you smile like that on the battlefield," Zev said. "Pride looks so good on you."
Kalya scoffed, but her cheeks still reddened. "Too bad it's a completely useless talent."
"Oh? And how do you know the Great Warden Secret of Felling the Archdemon isn't carving an 'A' into its throat?"
She nodded, tipping one shoulder up slightly. "Worth a shot."
Kalya leaned back on the rock, twisting closer to the blaze like a flower towards the sun. The meager firewood needed to last the rest of the evening, or Zevran would have hefted it all in. To get the blood flowing again, Zev leaned elbows against his knees and began extracting his supplies.
"Is it weird?" Kalya lifted her chin towards the tents. "Being led by Alistair?"
"Hmm," Zev purred, feigning consideration. "Weird not knowing if someone's short temper would put our lives at risk? No. I'm quite eager to watch the man come into his own."
"He's not thrilled about the whole… Landsmeet."
"That's a good thing, no?" Zev fished out a jar containing a glistening red powder he was betting Kalya hadn't yet seen and sat it beside him. "Better to be led by one who doesn't want the job than someone whose sole ambition is lording over others."
"I guess." Kalya rubbed her hands along her leather sleeves.
" Unless you'd like me to stage a coup. I'm quite good at coups. 'Warden Commander Kalya' does have a nice ring to it."
Kalya snorted. "No. Thank you. But I'll keep that in mind."
Zev crushed a brittle root in his mortar, taking care to mottle it upwind. "Well, until then, I'm quite happy to let Alistair point me in the direction of Loghain and the archdemon."
As he worked, he could feel Kalya's silent gaze. He let her study him while he pretended not to notice.
"What are your plans, after all this?" she asked at last.
"Steal you away to Antiva and live out our lives by the sea, of course." Zev poured a thin, dark liquid into the mixture, counting measurements in his head.
She rolled her eyes, though she couldn't stop that half grin that always lifted his heart. "And if the Crows find you?"
"You know it's not a matter of 'if.'" He set the mixture next to him. "But a few strategic assassinations will teach them I'm not worth the trouble. Besides, if you'd have me, who would come for the paramour of the Warden Commander of Ferelden ?"
Kalya made to shove into his shoulder playfully, but Zevran caught her hand in the air. With astonishing speed, Kalya grabbed his wrist with her other hand and wrenched him to the side, pulling him centimeters from her face. Her counter-attack had been so fluid and unexpected, Zevran found his heart pounding as quickly as it had in his dream. But the dream hadn't warmed his insides so.
He allowed himself another moment of adrenaline hunched in front of her before he straightened and leaned back on his hands, wetting his lips unconsciously. He was very grateful he'd set the mixture down before goading her. Kalya coughed quietly into her fist.
The two were silent for a few moments, taking in the few stars peeking through the blanket of clouds.
Zevran cleared his throat. "You were going to win, you know." He began unscrewing the lid to the shimmering red powder, tapping it into the liquid at his side. "Back at the overgrown temple."
"I know."
Satisfied with his work, Zev corked and pocketed the mixture, then he slapped his hands on his thighs, standing up to search for other ways to be helpful. He made his way over to the cooking cache. Breakfast had been prepared, but they'd make better time next morning with lunch ready to go.
Zev knelt down in front of the trunk of food. "I'm surprised she remains with us. Elissa doesn't strike me as the order-following type."
"Where's she gonna go?"
Zev snorted. "If that were a sufficient reason to stay, I believe we'd have picked up more strays by now." Zevran unpacked the dried meats and fruits and set them far to the side. The curing bone marrow he kept in a neat row behind the trunk. Outside Kalya's field of vision.
He chanced a look at her. She was studying him again but jerked away when their eyes met.
"I've been thinking a lot about… people's limits." She carded a hand through her short hair. "If you'd asked me a week ago, I'd have thought 'murdering an innocent camp of people' was my own sign to move on."
Zevran's heart caught. He looked up at her, mouth open slightly.
"No, it's… I'm not..." Kalya waved her hands. "You're all stuck with me. Immediately defecting from the Wardens after achieving what Riordan trained me for feels a little like... spitting on his grave."
Zev nodded, slowly returning his gaze back to the food.
"But I do wonder about you," she said quietly.
Zevran took a deep breath. Deflections and jokes danced across his tongue, but she deserved an honest reply, especially after his… previous attempt to leave the Crows. "I've killed commanders for less than Elissa has done. But now, things as they are, I'd leave if my staying put anyone at risk. Put you at risk."
Kalya looked away. The fire reddened her cheeks.
"...Or if you asked me to go," he continued.
This got her to laugh out loud.
"What?!" She shook her head, incredulous. "I wouldn't leave if you asked me to."
"Nor should you." Zevran flashed a grin, moving the bone marrow further from the other piles of food. "After all, I'm not the prophesied Hero of the Blight , now am I? Thedas needs you."
Kalya scoffed, but the half smile never left her face.
Zevran squinted at the sky a moment. "An amendment: if my being here put Elissa at risk, I would stay. I would stay and occasionally shout her weaknesses to the shadows. 'Which side do you favor again? Your right, isn't it? And when you parry, you drop your shoulder when you're not returning a blow, correct?' You know, in case the shadows are curious."
Kalya smirked, rubbing one of her blades with a whetstone. "Elissa has a few uses. For one, she can stand strategizing with Eamon a hell of a lot more than Alistair can."
"Is another serving as target practice for your knife trick, once Ferelden's woods freeze over?" He didn't raise his eyes to meet her, but he could hear her chuckling. He massaged his newly crafted spice into the bone marrow.
"No… We don't know how the whole archdemon thing works. Can just one Warden land the blow to end the Blight? Do we need a whole company of us? Perhaps we're already screwed with only three. Anyway, that's what's stopped me from killing her in her sleep."
Well. Disappointing news indeed. Zev paused his deep rub against the decadent treat, the meal preferred by only one member of the party. He blew out a breath of frustration.
"Suppose we could turn you all into Wardens," Kalya mused with a grin.
Frowning, Zevran shot out his leg from behind the trunk and tapped it. "My lifespan's shortened plenty, thank you."
Then he exhaled another great sigh as he stood. Vengeance had always made him sleep better, which meant it was now gonna be a long night.
"You're sure you need her?" he asked. "Her?"
"Yes, Zev," Kalya laughed. "We're letting the mean lady live for now. But thank you."
After gathering up the bone marrow into his hands, Zevran sulked past Kalya towards the fire. He threw them all in, watching the flames pop and burst where the bones landed.
Kalya raised an eyebrow.
"After you have done your Warden-ly duty and Ferelden is safe," he said, "make sure you and Elissa eat differing meals for a while, mm? Maybe forever."
Incredulous, Kalya coughed out a laugh, but nodded slowly as he poured water out of a canteen, washing his hands of the foul mixture.
Zevran joined her on the rock when he was finally finished. "I'm up for the day. Do you think you would find sleep again if you tried?"
She nodded slowly. "I'll give it another go. Thanks." Then she rose to her feet and gave a great stretch, arms raised high, back arched.
For an instant, Zevran allowed himself to imagine how it would feel to wrap around her midsection, bracing her against him from behind. She'd always fit him so perfectly when they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms. Now, her body was so different from the one he'd touched and known. Muscles that had taken time to build after her transition to Warden were now impossible to ignore. Equally impossible to ignore was Zevran's longing to rake his fingertips along her steely curves.
He began mottling some elfroot to distract himself. "We've a long walk tomorrow. I need you rested so you can carry me."
Kalya's burst of laughter ruined her yawn as she began walking away. "Good night, Zev."
"Humiliation" wasn't the right word. Cauthrien could partly blame herself for letting her guard down, shrugging off her initial instinct that the patrons of the Gnarled Noble weren't the market workers and off-duty soldiers she was used to.
She'd rightly pegged the handsome man as a threat, though her interest was piqued enough to listen to his proposal. That and there was something about the way he looked at her, as if supplicating somehow, lethal and capable though he seemed. It excited her enough to allow him to live, for now. But he would pay for the insult to her honor.
"Because I'm feeling generous," Cauthrien scoffed into her nearly empty flagon, "I'll hear your proposal. But to be quite frank, my orders are clear."
"It's all I ask." Taliesen bowed low before settling on the barstool next to her.
He raised two fingers to the barkeep. The man quickly returned with two ales, clearly jumpy from the new and armed patrons.
Taliesen took a long sip before turning back to her. Looking on her dour countenance drew a wry smile from his playful features. He cleared his throat. "Were I in your man's position - slim to no case against poor Prince Bastard - I would want to avoid the Landsmeet altogether. Legally. But how? Perhaps… take a high-profile prisoner, root the Wardens out of hiding, then strike under the pretenses of arresting them?"
Cauthrien squinted at the wood-grained bar ahead of her, taking a steadying breath. "Well, perhaps it's good that you're not in… that position."
"Glad to hear it, because that's a stupid plan."
Her head snapped to glare at him.
Taliesen nodded eagerly. "Let's see. You couldn't possibly hold a prisoner in the castle, what with the nobles' poking about night and day. Plus, considering the prisoner. Am I right?"
He winked at her, clearly watching her face for any hint of accuracy. She gave none.
"Right. Next, while I hear there are plenty of 'available holding cells' in the Alienage, you wouldn't risk that either. That leaves the home of Denerim's favorite torture-monger Arl Howe."
It staggered the mind how Crows could get their intel, but rather than betraying her annoyance, Cauthrien leaned towards him.
"Oh, I see. You're afraid the Wardens will split up the party. And if the two of them should get arrested before the Landsmeet, your Crows will flee. And you'll fail."
"Quite the contrary, dear lieutenant," Taliesen said with a smile. "If they're wise, they'll bring the whole cavalry into Howe's manor. But once you attempt to arrest them, they'll strike you down, and I simply couldn't have that on my conscience."
She took a long moment to study the room, looking for a Crow who looked familiar, one who might have joined Loghain's men recently. None sprung out at her. "I suppose I'll spare us both the dance of asking how you came to know all this information, having… just sailed into port?"
Taliesen opened his hands. "Mere speculation."
"Uh-huh. So what would you do? In my position?"
He grinned wide into his flagon. "There are a lot of positions I'd like to propose, but here's one. One of my marks has family in the Alienage." He clucked his tongue dramatically. "Your man, I hear, has been a very naughty boy to those dear elves."
Cauthrien glanced back to her drink. Annoyance tugged the corners of her lips. Loghain's actions of late were… disproportionate to the General she once knew.
Taliesen drained his ale and clapped the flagon on the bar. He turned to her, wiping his mouth with the back of his gloved hand. "I 'speculate' the kidnapping has already been set in motion. By the time our heroes arrive at Arl Howe's estate, they'll be armed to the teeth and thirsty for battle. My advice? Wait a few extra days, a week at most. Catch them in the Alienage. During a dear family reunion?" He shook his head. "No one would see that coming."
Cauthrien had been waiting for the hint of a trap, or at least a whiff of how her deviation from Loghain's plan would benefit him. But he already had the upper hand, here in the tavern, and if he'd wanted her or Loghain dead, there were certainly easier ways.
The moment her mind was made up, something changed in the air between them. There was a warmth he instantly detected and leaned into. As with anything, she would approach his proposal with caution, be on her guard about any threat to her or Loghain. But if he just wanted the Crows, he could have them.
Now, all that remained was to discover just how badly he wanted this favor. And how she'd make him pay for the bodily threat earlier.
Cauthrien looked up, suddenly allowing herself to drink in the sight of him in his tight Crow armor. "You've given me much to think about, Ser…?"
"Taliesen." He took her hand and bowed low. "Dancing through a beautiful lieutenant's head, am I? My plan has succeeded."
As he lifted his gaze, she noted something in his expression. A yearning, an arousal, brought on by his own state of supplication before her. The fate of his needs was in the palm of her hand.
Cauthrien wet her lips, then glanced around at all the Crow patrons positioned around the room behind his back.
She raised her chin to him. "Do you think your men could lift their crosshairs long enough for me to invite you to my room to… think about what you've said even more?"
He blew out a grateful breath. "Oh, I guarantee it."