Edward: Stay behind me, so that they might not smell you.
Rosalie: Pfft, fat chance of that.
Edward: You're not helping, Rose.
Rosalie: Wasn't trying to.
Alice: Shh, here they are *points across the field, where three vampires suddenly entered and came up to the Cullens*
Laurent: Ah, a baseball game. What fun.
Carlisle: It is a bit of fun. You wanna play?
Edward: Yeah, some of us were planning to leave anyway.
Laurent: I don't actually know how to play, I just thought it looked like fun.
James: I know how to play. Come on Laurent, let me play. I wanna take on the big guy.
Emmett: Oh ho? You wanna go buddy? I can take you. Come on, bring it the fuck on.
Victoria: You two idiots are forgetting the most important question: why are there so many vampires together out here? And why are their eyes yellow instead of red?
Carlisle: Because we live here and drink animal blood. Duh.
James: Weirdos. Whatever, can we play now?
Emmett: Yes, please, I wanna kick his ass.
Edward: Come on Bella, let's go home.
Bella: Well, this worked out pretty we… *a small gust of wind blows past her in the direction of the newcomers* …shit.
James: *smelling Bella* What's this?
Carlisle: What's what?
James: You can't all share one human, there's not enough in there for all of you.
Edward: She's not a snack, you monster.
James: *mocking laugh* Aww, aren't you adorable. You think you can protect her against me and my crew.
Victoria: Uh, James? You realise there's seven of them, and only three of us, right?
James: Excellent, it'll be a fair fight then.
Laurent: For god's sake James, have you seen the size of that big guy?
Emmett: And I'm one of the ones without a special power. Wait until you get to either Edward or Jasper.
James: *looking at Jasper* What, that uninteresting guy over there? He doesn't look like much.
Emmett: That's because he's…
Alice: *covering Emmett's mouth* Very boring and uninteresting and absolutely not doing anything right now.
James: Damn right he isn't. Well, we best be off. I'll be seeing you real soon *licks his lips while looking at Bella, before leaving*
Bella: Did he really have to look at me like that?
Edward: Come on, we gotta get you out of here *grabs Bella and carries her back to the car as quickly as possible*
*later, as they were driving*
Bella: Uh, Edward? You missed the turn to my house. As well as five other turns that would have gotten me home quicker.
Edward: Did you miss the part where the evil vampire said he was going to kill you?
Bella: Oh, like he's gonna find me. He doesn't know where I live.
Edward: What if he finds traces of your scent in town?
Bella: The only places I've been in the last week are home and school, one of which is overpopulated with so many other scents that I doubt he'd find my specific one that easily.
Alice: You also still look like a seventeen-year-old girl, and your name is on a file in the office.
Bella: …he doesn't know my name?
Emmett: Except that Edward said your name before we left.
Edward: Oops.
Bella: …he'll have to figure out which Bella I am?
Edward: There are no other Bellas or Isabellas at school.
Bella: …okay, so it's a little worse than I thought…
Edward: The guy's a tracker.
Bella: I have no idea what that is.
Alice: He tracks people. What the fuck did you think it would mean?
Emmett: Basically, he's gonna track you down and kill you. Which is why I'm hanging around you, because he owes me a fight.
Alice: I don't think that's what happened, but whatever.
Bella: So, what do we do about Charlie?
Emmett: What about him?
Bella: Well, if the tracker's gonna hunt me down, surely the first place he's gonna look for me will be my house?
Emmett: You're right. Edward, turn the car around so I can fight him.
Alice: You know he's not going to come at you if he sees you there, right?
Bella: And besides, why would he come after me at all? I've got seven bodyguards.
Alice: Rose hates you.
Bella: And Emmett's basically two people, so she doesn't count anyway.
Edward: He's coming after you because he gets…excited, by catching difficult catches.
Bella: Well, I guess there would be a kind of thrill to the chase…
Alice: No Bella, as in he…gets off on the hunt.
Bella: …oh…
Emmett: He's gonna jerk off over your dead body.
Bella: Damn it Kieran, you already did that same sick joke in Goblet of Fire Abridged. Also, how would he even do that? You need blood flow to get an erection, and you guys don't have heartbeats, so…
Alice: Don't question it, it won't be important in this series.
Edward: Do we have a plan, or not?
Bella: Drop me at home, I tell my dad I'm leaving, I actually leave with Alice and Jasper instead of you like he'd expect, we to go to Phoenix, the rest of you kill the tracker and his friends?
Emmett: I like it, because I get to kill people.
Edward: But what if…
Bella: …is a Marvel show coming to Disney+ in about three months' time. For now, we have to wrap this chapter up.