Edward: Okay, we're back at your house. Pack some stuff, tell Charlie you're leaving, and be back here as soon as possible.
Emmett: What if the tracker's here and I destroy him before she'd done?
Alice: He's not here yet.
Emmett: Then what the fuck are we even doing here?
Bella: Come on Edward, I'll need you with me to convince Charlie that I'm leaving.
Edward: Good idea. I'll explain that you have to leave, and you can pack.
Bella: Err…something like that. Hey, can you ignore everything I say and do for the next ninety seconds?
Edward: *watching Bella walk to the door* Err…sure.
Bella: *throwing the door open* GO AWAY EDWARD! *slams door behind her*
Charlie: Bella? What's wrong? Did he hurt you? Would you like me and Betsy to have a word with him?
Bella: LEAVE ME ALONE! *slams door to her bedroom*
Charlie: Hot diggity, an excuse for murder. Ol' Betsy will be happy.
Edward: *climbing through the window* Okay, it's been ninety seconds, what do you want me to say to Charlie?
Bella: That's not what I meant by…oh, whatever, just grab me some stuff to pack.
Charlie: *from downstairs* Hey, uh, what's Dr. Cullen's address? *cocks shotgun* I just want to talk to him.
Edward: What did you say to him?
Bella: Did you really not listen to a word I said to him? Can't you just read his mind and figure out what I said?
Edward: Actually, Charlie's mind is kind of a…
Bella: You know what? Never mind. I'm ready. Wait for me in the truck.
Edward: I really hope you know what you're doing.
Bella: Nope. Let's go *heads downstairs*
Charlie: Ah, there you are. Now, I only have five shells, so some of them will have to share, but…hey, what's with the bag?
Bella: I can't stay here.
Charlie: Why? What's wrong? I have all the boyfriend murdering tools you'll ever need right here, so he'll never bother you again.
Bella: No, I mean I can't stay in Forks if this is your attitude towards teenagers.
Charlie: Well, what else am I supposed to do? Let my daughter go out with some boy and be happy? What if you'd ended up dating a black guy, huh? What then? I'm a cop, you know what I'd have to do about that.
Bella: Yes, you're supposed to let me be happy. That's what most fathers do.
Charlie: Well then, most fathers are wrong.
Bella: Speaking of my happiness, I'm outta here.
Charlie: Wait, what? To where?
Bella: Home.
Charlie: This is your home.
Bella: No, I mean Phoenix. Goodbye.
Charlie: But Renée isn't home right now.
Bella: And neither am I. Bye *slams door behind her*
*in the truck*
Edward: You realise that by "Renée's not home", your father meant that she wasn't in Phoenix because she's travelling with Phil, right?
Bella: I figured, but, I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
Edward: He calls her, tells her what happened, and then flies home, potentially ruining Phil's Major League dreams and bankrupting the two of them?
Bella: …I mean, I suppose that's a possibility, but…
Alice: Oh, trust me, it is.
Bella: Wait, when did you get in here?
Alice: About thirty seconds before Emmett landed in the truckbed.
Bella: When did Emmett land in the… *hears a loud thump behind her*
Alice: Right then.
Bella: Are you guys trying to give me a heart attack?
Alice: No, because your cholesterol is at a perfectly healthy level. Also, I wouldn't have let Emmett do that if there was any risk to you.
Bella: …you people will be the death of me.
Edward: But that's what we're trying to avoid.
Bella: That's not what I…ugh, whatever.
*at the Cullen's house*
Edward: Okay, we're he… *sees Laurent* What's he doing here?
Laurent: I'm here because I'm pretending to be a distraction for Victoria and James. In reality, I just want to get away from them.
Bella: Why? What's wrong with them?
Laurent: You know how your country had that big war about slavery?
Bella: Oh dear…
Laurent: What's really weird is that he was born in Pennsylvania. They weren't even in the Confederacy.
Emmett: Look, I've been promised someone to beat the crap out of, since you're the only non-family vampire here right now… *rolls up his sleeves*
Laurent: Carlisle, which way did you say your Alaskan cousins were?
Carlisle: Thataway *points out the door, which Laurent runs straight through without opening*
Alice: Uh, Carlisle? That door faces west, not north.
Carlisle: I know, it'll be so funny when he reaches the coast and realises that I tricked him. But for now, we have to deal with the Bella situation.
Edward: Right. I was thinking Rose should change clothes with Bella to confuse the tracker's sense of smell for a little while.
Rosalie: Why would I do that? I hate her.
Edward: Come on Rose, please?
Rosalie: Well, because you asked nicely, go fuck yourself.
Esme: Don't worry Edward, I got this *changes Bella and her clothes in the blink of an eye*
Bella: Wait, can't you guys see things going super-fast?
Jasper: Yep, we just saw everything.
Bella: God damn it.
Alice: Alright, Operation: Save Bella is go.
Bella: Is that really what we're calling it?
Alice: You try coming up with a better name.