Re:Human

by Irvash

A story about a little less "noble and selfless" Subaru. The story starts in arc 6 (so minor spoilers) but will have Subaru sent back in time after receiving many buffs and If memories through contracts with Satella and Volcanica. This is no crackfic even if it sounds like one and I try my best to stay lore-friendly.

1. Chapter 1

Authors note: This is my first time writing so expect typos.

All right in regards to Re:Zero belong to Tappei.

English is not my primary language so expect different ways of saying words.

With that being said, I hope you enjoy it.

RE UPLOADED VERSION HOPE IT WILL FIX FEW TYPOS

Re:Human

Arc 6, inside the Pleiades tower.

Earlier: the black demise struck the Pleiades Watchtower.

"—The hell!?"

Subaru loses his balance and slams into the ground as if a big explosion occurred at his feet. He immediately screamed, "Gua!" and propelled his body upwards, slamming his whole body against the ceiling and walls. Then he shakes his head and notices what had happened.

――For the approach of a horrifying sight made all the hairs on his body stand up.

"No..."

This shouldn't be the case; he stands up while shaking off the premonition he feels. However, the chill became stronger and affirmed Subaru's suspicions.

It was an obstacle that he never thought would come - in fact, it couldn't have happened until this moment, and nevertheless, it came to this place and with enormous destruction.

"Patrasche! Ram-!"

"-!"

Crawling on the floor and picking up Ram's body, Subaru immediately threw her to Patrasche.

Receiving it with numerous wounds on her whole body, Patrasche rushes to the entrance of the room, immediately recognizing Subaru's intention.

Barusu, this idiot...!"

Ram's resentment loses so freely, but he has no time to listen.

Subaru puts his weight on the swaying foothold and rushes to Rem, who was in the bed of ivy. Then, he lifts her body and tries to follow Patrasche through the exit of the room.

"――――"

-Before he could do that, the figure of Louis rolling on the grass passed the edge of his field of vision.

"-! Oh, shit! Shit!"

Subaru demonstrates the ridiculous power of his will and strength with his tattered body while swearing indignantly. Holding Rem's body with his right arm, he forcibly grabs Louis's arm with his free left hand.

Both are light bodies. In an emergency, like in this situation, the weight can be carried without regard to it.

Subaru was on the verge of jumping out of the "Green Room" while holding them when it happened.

"――――"

The black shadow mist flows into the room through the "Green Room" and cuts the entrance away from Subaru and the others -Yes, a black shadow mist.

The last of the five obstacles he wanted to believe would never appear. The black shadows of the Witch of Envy, who was seemingly obsessed with Subaru, was attacking the watchtower.

"Rem-!"

Subaru tries to escape from the grasps of the shadow even with Rem alone.

However, before he could do that, the black shadow covers the front of Subaru's field of vision and never creates a gap. Moreover, the influx of black shadows did not stop, and shadows swallowed more and more in the front, on the left, right, and behind him.

"Shit... And just after I've come this far...!"

While watching the approaching shadows, regret dominates Subaru's heart as he frantically looks for an escape route.

If swallowed by the shadow, Subaru will die and "return by death." If he "returns by death" at the watchtower, Subaru will start over with Louis Arneb inside him, unless the restart point is updated.

If that happens, he will be controlled by the archbishop, only able to watch his own body do whatever the little girl desires.

He was afraid of that, and that's why he tried his best to make this loop the last one needed before an update to his restart point.

"-Barusu! Be firm! Rem will cry!"

"-!"

Beyond the black shadow, Ram's desperate voice was heard along with Patrasche's screech.

He took a breath to answer them, to reassure them but found himself unable to exhale.

-The black shadow had completely engulfed Natsuki Subaru.

Swallowed by the shadow, Subaru lost all sensations of his body, his arms, his legs, his torso, his head, his blood. Everything that makes Natsuki Subaru a human was missing other than his mind.

And deep inside this dark void of shadows, there was a presence, a familiar presence, a nostalgic presence.

A presence that invokes the singular endless primordial emotion of never-ending love.

-I Love You.

Natsuki Subaru, being reduced to nothing more than merely a mind, could not comprehend this feeling, for one needs a brain to comprehend emotions. But that felt unimportant right now.

For what was important to the mind of Natsuki Subaru was to respond to this presence, but he could not do so, as he had no mouth to speak with.

So the mind decided to make its own mouth to respond with. And slowly but surely, it began reforming his tongue and his teeth. Soon enough, he had a mouth, but no organs to support it, so he was still unable to speak.

And thus, the mind decided to remake itself from nothing, for what was the point of having a mouth if he had no brain to control it.

For what was the point of having a single mouth if he had no lungs to breathe air past his mouth to make a voice possible.

For what was the point of having a mouth if there was no muscle to move it so it could speak.

And thus, the mind begins reforming Natsuki Subaru from nothing into a human once more.

Slowly but surely, little by little, piece by piece, the mind of Natsuki Subaru begins reforming his arms, and then his legs, followed by his torso and lastly his organs.

And not before long, Natsuki Subaru's body had been reformed to that of a human.

The presence in the shadows was watching this entire process in awe, joy and excitement, for he was finally getting closer and closer to her.

But then a roaring sound interrupted this joyful reunion as a large creature entered the shadows without any problem.

I Volcanica by the Ancient Covenant ask thou, almighty petitioner, the will of thee.

And without a second to lose, Natsuki Subaru responded in a way that shock the heavens and earth.

I shall save all those that I choose to save, and none shall be allowed to interfere!

Both shadow and dragon shuddered in fear, for the will of Natsuki Subaru was one that even the will of heavens and hells may be forced to bend to. A will so strong that even death itself cowers in its presence because it is a will of a human for human is the only creature that even gods fear.

I Volcanica had heed thou will and shall submit mineself to it, for thou are the Sage. State your demand and mineself shall make it so.

I Satella, the Witch of Envy, had heed your will, my beloved, state your demand for me and I shall do everything in my power to make it so, for a small fee.

And so, two of the most powerful beings declared absolute support to the one known as Natsuki Subaru.

Subaru, now having his mind and body intact, begins to understand the situation he found himself in, and begins to contemplate on how to proceed.

Thinking Thinking Thinking

After some more thinking, he turns his head to the Divine Dragon and asks:

Subaru: Can you do something about this stupid gate of mine so I could cast magic for once?

Volcanica: Your gates age is that of a 2 years old child that has been broken. Mineself can restore it to a healed state, but I cannot age it to the state your aged body is.

Satella: I can age your gate to be of the same age as your 17-year-old body, For I can control space and time easily. But there will be a price.

Subaru: So, what do you want in return?

Satella: It's not what I want in return, but what must be done. To age your gate, your body and your gate will be placed in separate dimensions from one another. And I can speed the flow of time up in the dimension where your gate is without aging your body.

Subaru looked at Satella as if she had grown a second head.

Subaru: You can do that? So, what's the price you failed to mention then?

Satella looking around to the ground, unsure how to say it, afraid of what it might do to her beloved. She finally summons all her courage and says the price:

Satella: You will return to the very beginning of your journey. To the day you first set foot in this world, not only that you will have all your memories and possible memories mixed together into one, so from your perspective it will seem as if you lived multiple different lives where you made different choices and how your character developed as a result of said choices.

You will probably have to deal with an identity crisis if you will as well as certain character traits from said "different realities". In addition, all the progress you've made so far will be no more, but you will be able to keep multiple Authorities from different timelines.

Subaru: That seems like a heavy price to pay for a fixed gate, way too heavy for me to take.

Satella: I can sweeten the deal a little bit by giving you some time in my shadow garden to process all the information that will flow into your mind, as well as giving you access to my garden at any time if you so choose. You can even build your own room there.

Says Satella with a small blush on her face.

Satella: And you can also bring any item you held at the moment of entering your room. Also, the only way I might enter your room is if you invite me, for I will have no control over it.

Subaru: That sounds similar to Echidna's dream castle. Would I be able to take items out or possibly bring other people in as well?

Satella: You can take items out or keep them in your room without any problems, as for people I'll have to disappoint with a no, unless it's a spirit to whom you are contracted to and you specifically point out that the spirit can't talk about the room without your permission.

Subaru: That's awfully specific, also why do I feel like you have some ideas in regards to me using the room?

At Subaru's comment, Satella quickly covers her cheeks and turns away from Subaru.

Subaru seeing this becomes increasingly suspicious about her "sweeten the deal" part.

Subaru: Say you don't plan to assault me if I sleep inside the room... And what will happen to my real body when I'm inside the room?

Satella quickly stands up and faces Subaru shaking her arms from side to side

Satella: No, no, no! My beloved, I cannot assault you in your sleep as I am unable to enter your room… Unless you want me to do such a thing, of course.

Asks Satella, cutely looking at Subaru.

Subaru blushes and looks away while scratching his cheeks.

Satella: As for your body, it will remain outside as only your mind might enter the room, and only creatures made from mana can enter your room, like spirits for example.

Subaru: Can I at least keep my cute spirits memories of the past she and I shared together?

Satella: Hmmm... You drive a hard bargain, how about if you give me permission to see and sometimes interact with you in the outside world like once a week, then yes.

Subaru: But won't you destroy everything in sight as well as the world if I ever let you outside?

Satella: No, no, no, I will not do that, I promise. I just want to spend more time with my beloved, and if I destroy everything and everyone around my beloved you will want to spend even less time with me. I, and even my envy counterpart, learned this the hard way back in the sanctuary. So every time I come out in the outside world, I will be contractually obligated to follow any and all of your commands, that way, even my Envy counterpart can't act on her own.

Subaru: So that means even if you or your envy counterpart wants to destroy something for whatever reason, you'll first need my explicit permission, yes?

Satella: In a way, yes, but I can act in process of self-defence and against those who wish to harm you.

Subaru: Ok, so let's say someone attacks me and I don't want said attacker dead. Will you kill the attacker or will you simply keep the attacker at bay?

Subaru could see Satella (or was that Envy?) now visibility clicks her tongue in mild annoyance.

Subaru: No deal can be made unless I can trust you to keep yourself from ruining or creating situations in which I am forced to use... You know what. I don't want to have you as the reason for me dying again, otherwise, I would be breaking the promise I made to you at the Sanctuary.

At this, Satella/Envy visibly deflated with a bit sad look in her eyes but a small smile can be seen creeping on her face.

Satella: You remember your promise, it makes me super happy... Ok, it's a deal. The condition of the deal is that you'll be returned to the beginning of your journey with all your memories from present and potential presents along.

Subaru: In return, I'll get a fully fixed gate, as well as an aged gate to that of my body's age as well as time to process all information from these potential presents.

Satella: 2. You will have access to the shadow garden at any given time as well as your own room in there. You can use it as you see fit, but only items and spirits with the contracted promise of never talking about the room might enter.

Subaru: And in return, I'll be taking you out to the outside world at least once a week. But when you're outside you cannot act on your own unless it's an emergency to my life and even then, you can't kill anyone unless specific permission is given. In addition to that, my spirits memories of the past, she and I shared up to this point, will remain intact.

Satella: Your spirit's memories will remain intact, but only ones she currently possesses. No additional memory will be given to her, so she will not remember your new loops nor alternative timelines.

Subaru: Then we have a deal, I suppose we can make the contract right now.

Satella: We already did it the moment we stated those terms.

Volcanica was carefully listening to the conversation and began proposing his own deal to the boy when Satella was done.

Volcanica: Natsuki Subaru mineself too has a proposal for thou.

Subaru: Ohh... And what might that be?

Volcanica: If thou promise to keep the kingdom of Lugnica from being destroyed by outsiders as well as keeping it from collapsing in on itself, for the duration of the royal selection, mineself shall grant you access to a body that will not break as easily as your current one, as well as giving you the ability to recover from any non-lethal damage.

Subaru: What do you mean by non-lethal damage?

Volcanica: Should thou happen to lose a body part, such as an arm or an organ, for example, it will just grow back.

Subaru: And what did you mean by a body that doesn't break as easily?

Volcanica: Mineself will enable thou to use any body enchantments of your choice without the risk of destroying your gate.

Subaru: Sounds good to me, keeping the country together sounds like a tall order but it can be done, besides, I like challenges.

Says Subaru, showing a thumbs up and a grin on his face.

Volcanica: Then we have a deal.

A bright light enveloped the dragon, human and witch, and Natsuki Subaru was sent back to the very beginning.

Capital of Lugnica

In the middle of the capital stood a boy covering his eyes from the bright light that had enveloped him seconds ago. The strange boy with a track suit and grocery bag in his hand smiled to himself with a soft caring smile

Subaru: Guess I'm finally back to the beginning. That identity crisis mess is finally over and I can actually think without shadows clouding my mind. Being out in the open feels so liberating.

Subaru says to himself and starts going onwards down the street. There's purpose in his steps as he is no longer lost and confused, for he knows exactly where he is going and what he's going to do.

As Subaru makes his way down the road, he observes his surroundings, enjoying every peaceful moment he found himself in. Because when there's peace and tranquillity he can finally relax and enjoy himself, for this is his sloth.

Walking down the road he sees a child on the road. The child is covering on the ground, frozen in fear and is about to be hit by dragon carriage.

Subaru let's out a small smirk and casually walks towards the child, the world around him seemingly slowing down and almost stopping to a halt.

For it is his envy that propels him into acting like a hero, for he was always envious of those bright-shining heroes of justice from all the different stories he grew up with.

Subaru casually picks the child up from the street and gets him to the side walk. As the world seemingly starts to speed up back to normal, he is already away from the previous danger.

The child, scared and confused, looks around unable to process what just happened. He then sees a boy in front of him with piercing eyes and a warm smile on his face.

Subaru: Don't be afraid child. The danger has already passed and you're safe now.

Says Subaru and softly pats the child on his head to reassure him.

Child: W-w-what happened m-m-mister?

Subaru: You ran off into a street and didn't look around yourself as a result you got in danger and almost got hurt.

Subaru could see the child beginning to tear up and about to cry.

Subaru: Now, now no need to cry little one for you are in safety now. But I want you to promise me one thing can you do that for me?

The child slowly nods his head.

Subaru: From now on, whenever you cross a road, you'll have to look in both directions so you won't put yourself in danger again.

Subaru says with a warm smile on his face, his sharp eyes seemed really soft and non-threatening to the child now.

Child: Yes mister, I will.

The child smiles back, intent on keeping his promise.

Subaru: Come let's looks for your parents, hopefully they're not too far away.

Subaru looks around and notices a woman hurrying towards him. She reached them moment's latter and embraced the child while letting out a few sobs of relief.

Woman: Thank you, thank you mister for saving my child. I don't know what could have happened if not for you.

Subaru: Hmm... Then how about you do me a little favor in return for what I did for you?

The woman was visibly confused at the boy's response but slowly nodded her head.

Subaru: If you wish to repay for what I did you'll need to help 3 different strangers asking nothing in return. And if those strangers wish to repay you for your good deed, you'll say the same words to them as I did to you, can you do that for me?

The woman, absolutely confused, looks at the boy again. How is that repaying favour to him? She wonders but still ends up agreeing to the strange condition.

Subaru: Thank you, may you and your child stay safe.

Woman: Stay safe, kind stranger.

Subaru: Hehe it's not kindness at all, my dear, it is simply my greed that asks for rewards that's all.

At this Subaru walks away from the utterly confused woman. Why he would ask for a reward that would benefit 3 strangers instead of himself and calls it his greed thewoman's mind simply could not comprehend.

...

As Subaru continues walking down the street, he sees a familiar Appa vendor but pays no attention to him, as he recalls a small alleyway not far from this vendor in which he proceeds to go into.

Subaru: Now if my memories serve me well the To-Chin-Kan trio should show up right about... now!

As if on cue, he hears a familiar voice behind him:

Larkas: OI, noble boy! Drop everything you have and we won't hurt you.

At this Subaru slowly turns around with amused expressions on his face.

Subaru: Oh my, right on the clock the To-Chin-Kan trio is here. How nostalgic it is to see you 3 morons you cannot believe.

He says with the same tone one would have when greeting old buddies, he also had the biggest shit-eating grin in the world on his face which further weirded the trio out.

Larkas / Chin: The hell are you talking about you crazy lunatic? Far as I know we've never met you before.

To: Erm, hey I think this madman is bad news. Perhaps we should go?

Kan: And let a juicy noble like him get away you? Hell no, are you mad?

Chin: He's probably never been into a fight and trying to bullshit his way out by acting like lunatic.

Kan: Yes man, look at those soft hands he probably never worked or trained in his life I'm telling you; we've got easy money in front of us.

To: If you say so, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Chin: What are you smiling there for you freak? drop your valuables or well mess that pretty face of yours up.

Chin's words made Subaru chuckle a bit. These morons had no idea who they were talking to.

And as Subaru was expecting he sees small child running into the valley with a golden hair and crimson eyes. He recognizes her right away for Felt. She sees the situation but instead of helping she runs on a wall jumping over all 4 off them in fast motion she runs up to a wall and onto a rooftop turns around for a second to look into Subaru eyes lifts her thumb and says:

Felt: Live strong brother.

Subaru: Be careful running on roof tops you might fall off little one.

Felt: Heh? I don't need your permission for anything. I run where I want.

Subaru: That is indeed true but remember, little one, if you climb too high places falling from those can be really painful talking from experience here.

Felt: Heh I am not a clueless clumsy moron like you to get trapped by 3 hooligans.

Subaru: Hehhh eh... be careful who you are calling clueless and moron, for you might end up becoming one yourself and beside these 3 morons didn't trap me into this alleyway. They are trapped inside this alleyway with me

At this Felt looked at the boy with confusion and bewilderment for he was so confident about the situation and yet appeared so weak. She was sure the boy was in big trouble here but at same time he didn't act like he was.

Felt: If you say so mister, but don't come running out crying when you get hurt.

Subaru: Nah, I will not get hurt, after all the only thing I need to do is call for guards in this city. There's a really strong fighter around here and I wonder how long it will take him to show up if I cry out for help.

Felt instantly understood the situation and belted out from the area as fast as she could because if the Sword Saint shows up, she will be in big, big trouble.

At the same time the To-Chin-Kan trio perked up as well and got little frightened by the mentioning of a strong fighter. He could only be talking about one particular fighter.

To: If the Sword Saint shows up, we'll be in soo much trouble.

Chin: Nah, no way he will show up, remember, he is on his day off today. Only reason why we can operate.

Kan: Yes, yes, he is on day off. There's no way he would suddenly show up now.

Chin: If this is all you got then go ahead and cry for help, see how much that will help you, you fool.

Subaru: I wonder who is the actual fool here. Don't tell me you didn't ask for it.

And so, Subaru briefly closed his eyes took a deep, deep breath and focused on the spirits around him. He then opened his eyes and, with the help of many spirits who were amplifying his voice, screamed as loud as he could.

Subaru: GUARDS! HELP! I NEED GUARDS HERE!

His voice, amplified with spirit arts, was so loud that probably all the nearby districts heard it. Subaru's grin grew even wider as he looked at the baffled To-Chin-Kan trio.

Subaru: I think that was sufficiently loud don't you 3 morons agree?

To: He is a spirit arts user?

Subaru: Erm, not entirely, my little spirit is on a day off at the moment so no need to worry your head over her.

Chin: See? He can't call spirits we can still take him on if we're fast.

Kan: Idk man I don't think it's worth it.

Chin: Ehh, watch and learn.

At this Chin, the biggest of the 3, charged at Subaru intending to hit him but Subaru simple moved a small step to the side and ducked. He then grabbed Chin's clothes and used a judo move he learned from his father to slam Chin's face into the ground, using his own body weight to take him out in one full swoop.

Seeing Chin slammed into the ground, the other 2 jumped into action, proceeding to attack Subaru with weapons in hands, but were promptly stopped by commanding voice.

Commanding voice: Stop, you shall go no further.

All 3 remaining standing people turned towards the commanding voice and saw a flaming sun so bright that it might blind you, or rather, a man with crimson-red hair and a power of sun assisting him.

Subaru: You are late.

Subaru Points to the man in question, feeling a spike of hate from one of his "alternative realities" which he quickly forced away. That madman's personality would never take over again.

Red-haired man: My apologies for being late but might I ask what the situation is here?

Subaru: What does it look like?3 morons are trying to rob me and I'm fighting back.

Red-haired man: I see one is already on the ground. You might be stronger than you appear to be.

Subaru: What are you on about? They got weapons and I don't do you honestly think I can fight them without some help?

Red-haired man: In that case allow me to offer you my assistance.

Subaru: Then I shall gladly accept it.

To and Kan watched this quick exchange and soon realised who this man was and began to shake uncontrollably for they known they are absolutely fucked

To and Kan: The Sword Saint, Reinhard Van Astrea?

Reinhard: It seems my reputation precedes me. If you 2 wish to continue fighting then I shall be your opponent

To and Kan: No, no, no we do NOT wish to fight.

Reinhard: If that's the case you can take your friend there on a ground and take your leave, I will not arrest you for I am on my day off.

To and Kan: Yes, we will.

To and Kan take Chin off the ground and run out of alleyway as fast as they can.

Subaru: Thanks for the assist there not sure if I would be fine without your help.

Reinhard: Think nothing off it I'm glad to help.

As Reinhard said these words a sudden voice echoed through the alleyway.

Voice: Stop right there, thief!

Subaru and Reinhard turned to look in the direction of the voice and see a woman whose beauty can make even angels jealous, or so it seems for Subaru and his lust.

Quickly regaining his composure Subaru turns to Reinhard with a mischievous smirk.

Subaru: Reinhard, by day you work as Sword Saint and by night you work as a thief? Never would have guessed that.

Subaru shrugs his shoulders.

Subaru: I suppose we all need some form of habit but a thief? I thought your night time would be more akin to a lady killer.

Reinhard: No, no I don't steal stuff or kill women at night that's a gross misrepresentation of-

Subaru cuts off Reinhard

Subaru: No Rein I'm only joking. And I didn't mean killing ladies I meant seducing ladies at night.

Reinhard was visibly shaken by the implications of "seduction ladies at night". A visible blush appears on his face and he was about to deny Subaru but was once again interrupted by a different voice. This time in the form of the woman, who had accused him for a thief.

Woman: I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean that you are the one who stole from me.

Subaru: I don't know how I should interpreter that miss?

The woman thinks for a moment and was about to call herself Satella, but before she did, she remembered who was standing in front of her - The Sword Saint himself and instead simply said:

Woman: My name is Emilia, just Emilia.

Subaru: Well then miss "just Emilia" my name is Natsuki Subaru, a simple everyday human who is currently homeless and broke beyond compare nice to meet you.

Says Subaru pointing finger into air in his trade mark pose with a big smile on his face.

Both Reinhard and Emilia froze for a moment, shocked by Subaru's tone. Moments later, Emilia began giggling and Reinhard also got a smirk on his face.

Seeing these reactions from the two people present Subaru got a small nostalgic smile on his face and whispered to himself in a way only he could hear "so glad I am finally back; I won't let anything happen to you again."

After few moments of giggling Emilia suddenly snapped back with worry on her face.

Emilia: Oh no I almost forgot... excuse me, but did any of you happen to see the one who stole something precious from me?

Subaru: If you're talking about a short petite girl about the age of 14 to 15 with a golden hair and red eyes that also has a big scarf and is incredibly fast then, yes, I did in fact see her.

Emilia: Yes, yes that's the one! Can you tell me where she went?

Subaru: She jumped over the wall over there and ran away on roof tops with incredible speed, as far as I can see you already lost her with the speed she was manoeuvring the roofs.

Emilia: Oh no, no, no that can't be true. If she's gone then-then-...

Says Emilia with tears in her eyes and small sobs

Seeing Emilia cry, Subaru immediately decided to stop beating around the bush.

Subaru: You do know there's other methods to get what you want back without chasing the girl, right?

Emilia: What do you mean?

Subaru: Let's see... You can deploy every guard in this city to look for what was stolen from you. You think you can convince them to help you?

Emilia: No, no, no I can't do that I need to recover it on my own. Its supper important to me.

Subaru: In that case you can hire or pay some people for information, provided you know who to talk to.

Emilia: Unfortunately, I don't have any money.

Subaru: In that case you are lost and beyond help unless you ask for help from some one

Emilia: But, but no one will want to help me because—

Subaru: Because you're an elf with silver hair and amethyst eyes, splitting image of the dreaded witch of envy that instils fear into the hearts of children and haunt people nightmares, yes?

Emilia, visibly shaken and recoiled at the mention of the witch, lowers her head, admitting that her situation seemed hopeless.

Subaru: You do realise not everyone are blind, yes?

To this Emilia suddenly lifted her head and looked at Subaru in disbelief but somewhere deep inside her heart she felt something familiar and something she had given up not long ago – HOPE.

Subaru: I can give you a hand in searching for your stolen item. Even if it's my first day here I still have some experience on finding lost or stolen items.

Emilia: I, I umm... but I can't do anything to pay you back.

Subaru: You can repay me by giving me a place to sleep as I'm currently homeless.

Emilia: Hmm... If you help me, I'll can let you stay in my benefactor's mansion. I'm sure he'll be fine with it.

Reinhard: Subaru if you need place to stay, I can offer you some place to stay as well.

Subaru: Sorry Rein, but I prefer actually working for something rather than having it served on a silver plate.

Reinhard: Rein? I must also commend your admirable attitude; it is worthy for a future knight.

Subaru: Rein, think of it as a nickname. It's what friends give one another... I can call you a friend, right?

Reinhard was taken aback by Subaru's honesty and also knew for a fact that there were no ulterior motives in his words due to his divine protections. As result he felt something he hadn't felt in long time – The comfort of trust.

Reinhard: Yes, of course you can call me friend. And might I assist you in your search miss Emilia?

Emilia: No, no, no I can't involve others into my problems. Subaru alone is already pushing it and if I ask any more people I'll be in big trouble.

Subaru: I'm not sure about that, having more hands helping one another is generally always better but since you're the one making decisions here, I won't continue arguing. So sorry Rein.

Reinhard: It's a shame but if you need any help don't hesitate to ask.

Subaru: Hm... I will if I absolutely need to, but how can I contact you again?

Reinhard: You can shout like you did before and I'll easily hear you.

Subaru: I would like to avoid embarrassing myself like that again if I can... Tell me how well you can detect spirits?

Reinhard: My blessings are able to detect and distinguish differences in mana as well as spirits, why do you ask?

Subaru: Well, if I need help, I'll summon a few spirits and ask them to let you know, ok?

Reinhard: Yeah, I'll keep that in mind and come if you send your spirits to tag me.

Subaru: Thanks Rein, having a reliable friend at ones back is really conforming.

Reinhard was once again caught off guard. How nice it felt to be relayed on and treated like human instead of the monster that he actually is. He hoped this relationship between 2 new friends can last for as long as possible and hopes Subaru will never come to learn how much of a monster he actually is. Little did Reinhard know but Subaru knew way more about him than he himself did.

Subaru: Well then miss just Emilia-tan let's go and find your stolen item?

Emilia: -Tan? Yes, let's go and thank you Reinhard and have good day.

Subaru: Tan is a word from my hometown that means I appreciate you.

Says Subaru with a wink to Emilia which makes her blush and turn away. She began to hastily exit out of the alleyway.

Subaru: See you later man, and don't be too hard on the ladies tonight if you know what I mean.

Subaru winks at Reinhard with a devils smile on his face. He then runs off to catch up to Emilia.

Even with all his divine protections Reinhard still had no clue what Subaru meant by that. Instead, he simply shook his head with a smile and walked off, quietly whispering to himself "what a strange man Natsuki Subaru is..."

...

Emilia and Subaru were now walking down a road that was a short distance away from the previous alleyway. Emilia then turns to Subaru and asks him:

Emilia: Humm... so how exactly are we going to find the thief's location?

Subaru: By process of elimination of course.

Emilia: Process of elimination?

Subaru: Yes, it's simple really, we first eliminate all locations where she's not likely to be and then move into areas where she is likely to be found

Emilia: I don't think I...

Subaru: Ok, no matter who you are, noble or not, you need a place to sleep in, right?

Emilia: Yes

Emilia tilts her head trying to understand Subaru's intention.

Subaru: So, we should be safe to assume that the thief is not someone who is rich because she needs to steal to survive... And as a result, she will not call any nice places her home. Based on that you can remove all the rich districts and move on to areas' where the poor live. Am I making sense?

Emilias eyes widen as the gears in her head begin to turn.

Emilia: But the slums are a big area and is growing bigger by the day. How are we to find a single girl?

Subaru: Simple we ask around.

Says Subaru with stupid smile on his face

Emilia: But you don't understand, I'm half-elf with-

Subaru: Yes, yes, I heard you the first time. You know there are ways you can befriend people despite your appearance?

Emilia: No, why don't you don't understand I'm-

Subaru: A beautiful silver-haired half-elven woman with amethyst eyes and exceptionally cute reactions?

He immediately interrupts her, tilting his head ever so slightly as in confusion. As if what he said was a matter of fact obvious to everybody.

To this Emilia forgot to breathe as such a response was not what she expected. Not only had he called her cute but also beautiful. Emilia points her finger to Subaru and once again repeats "I'm a half-elf, you know?" and Subaru simply responds with a "yes, that's why you're beautiful. After all, all elves are supposed to be stupidly pretty, no?

As Subaru says this, he can see Emilia's face turn redder than a red apple and she quickly turns away, holding her head with a visible white vapour coming out of her ears.

At the same time Subaru could feel something happening deep inside his heart which made him somewhat roll his eyes. "If one authority was heard enough to deal with, how will I handle so many at the same time?"

The reason for this reaction was a grey fur ball that flied out from Emilias hair and towards Subaru face at a fast pace. Subaru simply slapped the fur ball out of his way and sent it flying into a nearby wall. The grey fur ball slides off the wall in comical way which earned chuckle from Subaru. When the grey fur ball got off the wall turned at Subaru with murderous intentions it was promptly frozen in absolute fear once his eyes landed on a boy before him. Here stood a man who had a look on his face of pure unadulterated wrath and all of the wrath was purely directed at the fur ball.

Puck in his 400 years was only once frozen in fear and that was when he first saw the Witch of Envy herself in all off her glory. How utterly hopeless he felt that day is something that kept him awake at night to this very day.

But nothing, not even the witch herself, had eyes as terrifying as this boy. It was as if those eyes could see every corner of his soul and judged him. Whether to eliminate him or spare him, crush him or teach him. but then suddenly the anger in his eyes vanished, as if it was never there to begin with.

As Puck still stood in his shaken state, he heard the boy speak:

Subaru: And who the hell are you mister fur ball?

Puck took a moment to compose himself. He shook his head and took a second to look at the boy, seeing nothing like what he saw seconds ago with this he thought to himself "must be my imagination"

Puck: My name's Puck and I'm the great spirit of fire, and Lia's adorable father.

Says Puck with his paw hand hitting his chest and to this Subaru responds:

Subaru: Never did I see a parent calling himself adorable. They normally call their children that, so are you one off those dead-beat parents who is a parent in name only?

Asked Subaru with a deadpan expression that could rival Ram's.

Puck: Oho, aren't you cocky, calling a grand spirit like myself a dead-beat parent?

Subaru: No matter who or what one thinks they are, it doesn't change how good or bad they are as parent.

To this Puck was taken aback because this boy speaks like a man who should be way older than he appears to be.

Puck: You're talking as if you have experience in the matter, have you raised children yourself before?

Subaru: I do have a lot of experience with children because for some reason I seem to attract their attention. As a result, I end up taking care of them.

Unbeknownst to Puck, Subaru did raise children in a few of his "potential futures" so Subaru by now had more than enough experience of how to be a father. Therefore, he couldn't help but feel disappointment and anger at the way Puck treats Emilia - something Puck managed to pick on via his mind-reading ability and was slightly annoyed because some random kid thinks he's better than a 400-year-old spirit like him.

Puck: Ohh, what's with the condensing look you have?

Says Puck with narrow eyes, closely looking at this boy.

Subaru: Let's see if I am to raise a child, I would want nothing less than the absolute best for them, can we agree on that?

Puck: That's a wish all parents have for the children.

Subaru: Not all, but nearly every parent yes, but the question is how you go about it with this wish?

Puck: You will do your absolute best to defend her against everything and everyone, if you must you will even fight the world itself.

Subaru: And as a result, your child becomes isolated, sad and alone on top of that they will also suffer from a stunted growth. Without any ability to defend herself or ability of making friends who would help her when you're unavailable?

Puck: nonsense, she doesn't need such things for I will always defend my Lia.

Subaru: I hope you're right but if you're not it's your child's life you're gambling with. And an important thing about gambling is that you'll always eventually lose from time to time, or in your case, you only need to lose once. It's a gamble I would not be willing to take.

Puck was about to retort to Subaru but stopped himself as he felt odd sensation coming from his Lia then he looked at Emilia and saw what could only be described as admiration towards Subaru.

Puck: Lia? What...

Emilia: You really are good with children Subaru; you'll definitely make a good father someday.

To this, Puck lost all his cheer and without saying a word returned back to his crystal, something Emilia was tried to prevent but failed never the leas.

Emilia: I am sorry Subaru but I don't know what that was all about.

Subaru: I believe I know exactly what has happened but you don't need to worry about it too much. It's something he can only deal with by himself so give him time and if he throws any form of tantrums give him a candy that will sort him out.

As Subaru says those words Puck comes flying out of his crystal once more.

Puck: Oh no you don't! I see what you're doing here mister, you're trying to seduce my Lia.

Subaru: Or, consider this for a moment: I am teaching a dead-beat dad how to be a parent and treat him like I treat children.

Puck: Hoo...ooo. Treating a 400-year-old spirit like myself in a way you treat a child? Aren't you a bit height and mighty?

To this Subaru could not help but chuckle, remembering his adorable little spirit as well as his old spirit friend spirit from Kararagi.

Seeing this Puck was confused and dumbfounded as Puck noticed that Subaru had someone really specific in mind and not one but in fact two individuals he was thinking about "Who in the Od's name is this seemingly normal boy?" was the only thing in Pucks mind at this point but his thoughts were interrupted by Emilia.

Emilia: Puck, do I really need to give you a candy so you'll calm down?

Puck mind grinded to a halt.

Emilia: Puck... Puck! Hello?

Subaru: Erm Emilia he wants to be your father not the other way around, so if you treat him like a child he'll take critical hit.

Emilia: Critical hit? And didn't you say I should give him a candy to calm him down?

Puck: Aaaaahhhhhhh stop. just stop! Okay, okay I'll go back into a crystal.

Says Puck and vanishes back into his crystal. Seeing this Subaru and Emilia simply chuckled. If you looked from outside, it would seem as if it was the behaviour between a young couple but neither Subaru nor Emilia realised this. Emilia only felt joy at meeting someone she could freely talk to and Subaru's mind was an enigma even Od Laguna couldn't comprehend if it tried as there were just too many thoughts and emotions being set off at once.

Subaru: Emilia even though I would love to do nothing more than admire your beautiful smile, I'll have to remind you that we still have job to do.

Emilia's cute cheeks began to slowly get redder and redder as she thought to herself "He called me beautiful! Even if it's a joke, even if he doesn't really mean it, it still feels nice to be called beautiful..." The only way Emilia could respond was with a nod and calling Subaru "dumberella" to which Subaru responded: "who even says that nowadays?"

And so, a pouting half-elf and a smirking human proceeded to walk down in the direction of the slums, until they came across a crying child next to the sidewalk.

Emilia: Hey Subaru, doesn't this child look as if she's in trouble?

But before she could even finish, Subaru was already talking to the child.

Subaru: Say, why are you crying next to a sidewalk like this?

Child: I, I, I lost mommy and don't know where I am.

Subaru: How about we go look for your mommy. Me and this beautiful onesa here will help you out, ok?

Child: ok.

But as the child looked at Emilia, she immediately began tearing up again. Seeing the child's fear Subaru immediately jumped into action.

Subaru: Hey, wanna see a magic trick?

The child instantaneous looked back to Subaru and slowly nodded her head.

As soon as he got the child's attention, he pinched Emilias nose and applied a small amount of magic. He then formed a fist with his hand and says to the child:

Subaru: Look, onesa here lost her nose. How about you help her find it back?

Child: Ok.

Seeing her nose vanish in front of her eyes, Emilia was confused and somewhat frightened for having her nose disappear like that. But then Subaru made a fist with his thumb sticking out and saying "found it" before quickly placing his thumb on where Emilias nose should be and stopping his small illusion and says "puff and the nose is back" he then removes his hand to prove himself. The child was extremely excited and asked for more but Subaru simply responded:

Subaru: How about you ask this beautiful onesa here for a few tricks of her own?

The child looked up at Emilia, no longer seeing the scary face of a witch but one of a kind girl. "Please, please show me a trick!" she excitingly asked

To say that Emilia was shocked would be an understatement. She expected the child to cry or curse her, not ask to perform tricks for her. Emilia hastily requested Puck to help her out through their mental link and Puck sensing how important it was for his Lia, decided to come out to perform tricks for some random human child. But boy, oh boy, was he in for some hell.

When the child saw Puck she suddenly grabbed him out of the air and started rubbing her face on his fur while screaming about how cute Puck is. Seeing this, Emilia let Puck know that he should play with the child for a bit. Trying to look for a way out, Puck looked at Subaru and silently asked for help only to be met with a grin. With no way out, Puck resigned to his fate of being the child's toy.

A few moments later, a woman's voice at the end of the road shouting "Plum! Plum! Where are you!" was heard and a woman came running. The child immediately reacted and darted in the direction of the voice while still holding Puck. Moments later, she was already in the woman's embrace with a grumbling Puck, who had been crushed between the two.

Emilia and Subaru ran over to the child's mother. She immediately got her guard up and was ready to run with her child upon seeing Emilia's appearance but didn't get to do so as Plum says:

Plum: Kind onesa and onichia here helped me out mommy.

Upon seeing her own child say that the girl in front of her was fine, the woman decided to relax a bit and thank the pair of kind people.

Woman: I thank you for finding my child for me. I was scared that I lost her somewhere. If there's anything I can do to thank you for it let me know.

Emilia: Think nothing of it we are only glad to help.

Subaru: But if you really wish to thank us, perhaps you might help us locate a girl we are looking for.

Emilia seeing Subaru make such a request was about to deny him, but the woman responded before she could interrupt.

Woman: Of course I will if I know who you're looking for.

Subaru: We are looking for a girl with blond hair and red eyes, she also wears a scarf around her neck and is super-fast. I believe she works as a thief.

the woman narrows her eyes at Subaru with suspicion.

Subaru: You see, she stole something from us and we want to get it back through trade but don't know where to find her.

The woman instantly dropped her guard and let out a small sight.

Woman: If you want to trade something to get an item stolen from you back that's fine, I suppose. The girl you're looking for is Felt, she lives in the slums. Follow this road all the way to the end then turn to your left and walk for a little bit more until you come across a loot house. That's where you find her if you don't know where to look, simply say to the locals that you're looking to trade at a local bar and they'll know what it means.

Subaru: Thank you for your assistance and have a good day "live strong"

The woman widened her eyes, never expecting a noble-looking individual to use a slums slogan. She could only smile to herself remembering what her husband once told her: "Don't judge people by their appearance"

Woman: Live strong brother, live strong.

And with this, the woman walked away carrying her child. As for Puck, he simply disappeared into thin air like the spirit he is.

Emilia seeing the full interaction was once again confused and asks:

Emilia: Subaru, you don't intend to trade for something that was stolen from me?

Subaru: Remember I'm broke beyond compare, yes?

Emilia: Did you-

Subaru: I didn't lie, I have a Metia to trade.

Emilia: But I can't-

Subaru: Let's see, I sell my Metia for some cash to rent a room, or I trade my Metia for a place to stay and help a cute girl out at the same time.

Emilia at this was shaken again he is willing to help her this much and only ask for so little and upon thinking of refusing was promptly stopped by Puck talking to her via their mental link:

Puck: You should take this offer, Metias are expensive and I sense no malice towards you at all but cannot figure out what his motives are. Far as I know, he's an enigma in the true sense of the word.

Emilia was still unhappy about the plan even after receiving the green light from Puck.

Emilia: But it's my item! I shouldn't need to pay to get it back.

Subaru: First, miss Goody-two-shoes let's start walking towards the loot house. We can talk on the way there, remember we still need to get there before the day is over.

Emilia didn't like how Subaru suddenly changed his demeanor but chose to agree to his demand.

Subaru: Second, we are at the edge of the slums. No matter which country you are in, areas such as "slums" people will always look like this.

Says Subaru pointing his finger towards some skinny people sitting on the ground with dead eyes.

Emilia could not help but feel bad about their situation.

Subaru: All kingdoms have areas where such situations are a common sight, well maybe except my hometown but nobody in this world is able to go there.

Emilia suddenly seemed like she heard something important but chose to ignore it and let Subaru continue:

Subaru: As a result anyone who lives here has a hard time getting food without relying on things like theft. Your stolen item is eventually money for the girl to buy food. She did look malnourished so if she doesn't get anything from this "job" she's going to sleep hungry and might not even wake up tomorrow.

Emilia widened her eyes and covered her mouth, she was about to say something but Subaru interrupted her:

Subaru: So what you're essentially saying is "let's go get your stolen item and let a 14 to 15-year-old kid die from hunger in the streets."

Subaru then turned to a shaken Emilia and asks:

Subaru: Is that what you want?

Emilia: No, that's not what I want, and that's no-

Subaru: But that was exactly what you were about to do.

Emilia: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.

Subaru: I suppose it's fine as long as you understand the consequences of your actions or inactions but do remember ignorance is not an excuse as the world will eat you before you even understand what's going on.

Emilia: You had some bad experiences before?

To this, Subaru looked at Emilia and smiled.

Subaru: You cannot even begin to imagine how much or how many times it happened.

Emilia lowers her head and looks at the ground with a few tears adoring her eyes. As result, they moved towards the loot house in silence.

After some time, Emilia decided to break the silence and ask Subaru:

Emilia: Then how can you still smile like this?

Subaru: I had good friends to beat some sense into me.

Emilia: Beat?

Subaru: Yes, the damn bastard had fists of iron, pummelled my face black and blue but that got me out of the really dangerous mindset I was in at the time, so I'm really grateful to the man.

Emilia looked at Subaru with something akin to envy in her eyes, thinking to herself "Ohh how I wish I could talk like that" but a thought like that was dangerous for her and she instantly shut it out from her mind.

Emilia: I hope you'll see your friends soon.

Subaru: That's unfortunately impossible.

Emilia: I'm sorry.

Subaru: Don't be, I made peace with it a long time ago and moved on just like they would wish for me, but even now that I've moved on they will always remain in my heart as the people who I cherish.

Emilia: You're strong, I don't think I would be able to do that.

To this, Subaru only showed a sad smile on his face.

Subaru: I'm not, I never was and probably never will be, for in the end I'm only a simple human.

To Emilia, this statement was difficult to comprehend, for she had no experience or memories of her own to compare it to. But this sad reminiscence of the past quickly became irritating for Subaru so he changed the topic:

Subaru: But the past is the past and it should stay in the past. What is important is what we make in the future and today, after all like my mother loves to say "It's not the beginning or middle that's important but the ending"

Emilia: Sounds like you had a lovely and sweet mother.

Subaru: I did indeed.

As the duo was walking down the road drowning in melancholy they begin nearing their goal, Subaru seems to realize something and asks Emilia:

Subaru: Say do you happen to know what time it is?

Emilia: Hmm... I would say around 4 or 4:30 why?

Subaru: Because it will be getting dark soon and areas like the slums are dangerous during daytime but double so during nighttime, so it's best if we finish what we need to and be out of this place as soon as possible.

Emilia: Hmmm... Good point, let's hurry up but where do we go now? Ahh, I know, how about I ask the spirits.

As she says so, Emilia begins summoning spirits to ask for directions and find out where to go next. She then points her finger towards the specific house.

Subaru turns to Emilia and convinces her to let him do the talking. Emilia simply nods her head.

…

As Subaru knocks on the door of the loot house, he hears rustling sounds as someone approaches the door and says "what's the password", Subaru responds:

Subaru: Open the door we got stuff to trade for items you might have.

Old man: What's your offer?

Subaru: A Metia.

Old man: You sure I have what you're looking for?

Subaru: Small blond girl with red eyes that goes by the name Felt has it, and we want to trade for another item.

Old man: Come on in then.

As the old man opens the door he lets the duo in he says:

Old man Rom: Name's Rom but you can call me old man Rom that's how everyone calls me and for Felt she'll be back soon you're free to wait for her.

Subaru: Thanks old man and if you want, you can take a look at the Metia I'm offering so you know I'm legit.

Subaru takes out his phone and shows it to old man Rom and explains how it works while Emilia curiously looks at it and can't help but be impressed by the device.

Old man Rom: I would say it's worth about 15, no 20 holy coins.

Subaru: You sure? I think I can actually sell it to one of the nobles for at least 30, but never mind I take your word for it.

Old man Rom: Suit yourself, you want a drink?

Subaru: Hot milk if you have.

Emilia: Cold milk for me if you have.

Old man Rom simply shakes his head and responds with "kids" As he puts glasses on the counter he hears the door being knocked on:

Old man Rom: For a whale?

?: A dead spirit.

Old man Rom: For a rat?

?: Uhm… The Lust Witch Factor?

Old man Rom: ...To the nobles we are?

?: Royalty?

Old man Rom: Sigh, all wrong. How many times have we repeated the password now?

Felt: Just open the door old man, I got big haul today.

Old man Rom: what's the point of a password if you're not using it.

Says old man Rom as he opens door to let Felt inside. Upon seeing the duo Felt instantly took on a fighting pose and shouts at Emilia "You don't give up, do you?". Subaru simply responded "Now now we don't need to get violent here we here only to trade" as he says so, he makes a purple barrier behind Emilia that blocks an attack.

Subaru: But I suppose you're not willing to trade much, Elsa?

Elsa: My my my that was unexpected, and I was sure I was hidden.

Felt: What is the meaning of this? We're here to trade, not kill.

Before Elsa could say anything Subaru interrupted:

Subaru: This is Elsa, top assassin of Gusteko, known as the bowel hunter. Do you honestly expect not to be killed even if you fulfilled your job perfectly, I mean from her perspective you're a loose end. And how do assassins deal with loose ends?

Hearing the new information, Rom took out his bat, and Felt pulled out her knives.

Subaru: You know Felt I am half tempted to take a page from your book and run away while saying "live strong"

Felt: You're the guy from the alleyway!

Subaru: And you turned out to be a clueless moron to get into a job that will kill you at the end of the day?

To this Felt wanted to say something but was stopped by the sound of metal hitting against metal.

Subaru: My, aren't we impatient ones I almost want to hire you myself.

Elsa looked at Subaru for the first time and licked her lips:

Elsa: My apologies but I don't think you'll be able to hire my services for you will die here today. A girl needs to complete her job after all, and even I need to eat.

Subaru: Ahh worry not, but alas I find it so endearing that you would make your way here all the way from Gusteko. Must be a big offer to steal this item.

Elsa: No stealing was the secondary task, for my orders were to make a trade offer for up to 20 holy coins and only kill everyone if someone outbid me… Or if the item's owner decided to show up.

Subaru: What you didn't tell are the orders to cover all loose ends the moment the job's done. Yes, by now I know how nobles love to operate, and it's somewhat annoying if you ask me.

Elsa: Ohh you managed to guess. Why do I have this feeling that you might be in same job line as me?

Emilia, Felt and Rom looked at the boy somewhat frightened.

Subaru: No, I am not. The biggest difference is that I work for myself and only myself while you work for others and only others, although my methods can be... well let's say... hot at times if you know what I mean.

Says Subaru with a wink towards Elsa, who responds with a seductive air kiss.

Elsa: My, aren't you a charming one. I wonder how your bowels will look like.

Subaru: Bloody and sticky, not much different from all the others you've seen so far.

Elsa: But that's what makes them so lovely.

Felt: You two are crazy.

Subaru: Nah I am not, at least not anymore.

Elsa: You weren't crazy in the first place if you can recognize you're crazy.

Subaru: You know there were a few people who said that to me once.

Elsa: Ohhh interesting, makes me want to meet them.

Subaru: My apologies Elsa but they are my targets, and unless you play nice, I'm not going to share.

Elsa: Awww, stingy one aren't you?

Subaru: Really... you're the one to speak.

The way Subaru talked to Elsa was as if he knew her for a long time and on a personal level.

Elsa: My, my, my, how curious, you talk as if you know me but I've never met you before. There's no way I forgot someone so endearing as you, handsome.

Subaru: What can I say, I have a way to worm into ladies' hearts, it just so happens that some of the ladies tend to be a little troublesome.

Elsa: My, I will show you more than a little bit troublesome

As Elsa finishes her sentence, she lunges towards Subaru to slice his belly. But Subaru simply bends forwards, missing the knife by millimetres, and in single motion steps closer to Elsa, who responds with a jab with her feet. Subaru simply keeps walking and, in one elegant motion, uses Elsa's kick to propel himself forwards towards Elsa's head. Elsa simply ducks and avoids Subaru… Almost, as Subaru manages to grab her cloak and ripping it with him as he flies past her. Landing on his feet, Subaru calmly wraps her cloak around himself:

Subaru: Oh my, this is probably the second-best magical cloak I've ever had, so nice of you to give it away.

Elsa's: Aren't you good at undressing ladies, makes me even keener on seeing your bowels.

Subaru simply shrugs and turns towards Emilia-

Subaru: Puck, prove to me now that you're not all talk. I've given you sufficient time already.

As Subaru says that Puck appears above Elsa with magic ice darts floating around him.

Puck: I almost lost my Lia because of you and haven't had a good day because of the annoying boy. Let me blow some steam off by using you for target practice, little girl.

Puck immediately follows his statement up with dozens of ice darts which Elsa was only able to dodge thanks to her inhuman reflexes.

In the meantime, Subaru casually walks up to Emilia and Felt and pulls a hat out from underneath his nearly-acquired cloak, hiding the fact that he had actually pulled the hat out of his "room". The hat itself was pure black, similar in shape to the ones cowboys used and also had a few star-shaped symbols adorning it. Then, Subaru grabbed a chair and sat on it without a care in the world.

On the other side of the room, Puck was bombarding Elsa with ice darts and Elsa could do nothing but dodge and dodge, for puck was in a really bad mood.

Ice dart after ice dart, Puck's relentless assault on Elsa made the loot house into a mess of ice and frozen holes, and not before long, Elsa's feet got stuck to one of the ice darts.

Puck: Do you honestly think I was shooting those at random, little girl?

Puck then launched a massive ice dart at Elsa using most of his remaining mana, destroying Elsa and the wall behind her. Satisfied with the result, Puck turns back to Subaru with a smug-looking face saying:

Puck: See? I can deal with anything that comes after my Lia.

Subaru: You do know she's not dead, right?

To Subaru's response, Puck instantly looked back to Elsa, or at least where she should be, and instead sees her leaning next to a wall while holding her leg in her hand.

Puck: No matter, she can't move without her leg.

Subaru: I wouldn't be so sure.

Puck launches more ice darts at Elsa but she dodges them by rolling on the ground. She then pulls one of the ice darts out of the wall and uses it as glue to reattach her leg and jumps out of the way of more incoming ice darts, but those were much slower now.

Subaru: Elsa Granhiert the bowler hunter, her humanity was brought to question many times as she seems to survive damage that would be lethal to others. On top of her ridiculously fast regeneration abilities, the only possible way to kill her is through continuous attacks on all her vital parts like fire, and as a "Great Spirit of Fire," you should have done so by now, no?

Says Subaru looking at Puck with a deadpan expression.

Subaru: Or are you telling me that everything I said about you is true? Or perhaps you're even more of a failure than I originally assumed?

Puck: First of all, fire magic is the ability to control temperature, not fire. A simple brat like you wouldn't know it but air actually has small amounts of water in it, which fire mages can freeze and propel towards their targets. Second, the only reason I haven't won is because I'm running out of mana. If I had known her abilities from the start, I would have wiped the flo-

Subaru: If only this, if only that, all of it is not relevant. The only thing that matters right now is whether you can defeat her right now or not and if you can't then you're only proving my accusation.

Says Subaru with a smug look on his face, though he was internally cursing the other Subaru's for not investigating how fire magic worked.

Puck: If you're all so high and mighty then I want to see you do better.

Subaru: Ok, give me all your remaining mana, as well as your abilities as a spirit and see how big boys do.

Puck: What! I can't do that, that's impossible.

Subaru: Then you have your answer.

However, Puck soon realized that his time was nearly up and he couldn't afford to argue with the boy. He then looks at Emilia and says he is out of time and how he underestimated Elsa

Subaru: And so, the great spirit of fire proves his inability to do anything.

Emilia: Subaru, stop bullying my spirit.

Subaru: A bully like him needs to be knocked down a peg or two, helps to build character.

Says Subaru with an ironic smile on his face as he looks at Emilia and Puck.

Puck: I trust you will keep my Lia safe, Subaru.

Subaru: How about NO? She is not a child anymore and should be able to take care of herself unless her father was too slothful to bother training her so she can defend herself in situations like this?

Says Subaru with a bored and disappointed expression on his face.

To this, Puck simply could not respond as there were too many emotions going inside him and as result, he begins to fade away.

Emilia: Don't worry Puck I will be fine; I still have spirits arts.

Subaru: I hope you're right about that because if you're not we'll all end up dead, and not for the reason you think.

Emilia summoned her spirits and took a fighting stance to face Elsa

Elsa: Ohh, leaving so soon little spirit, and I was having so much fun. Sadly, I won't get to see the bowels of a spirit today.

Elsa then lunged towards Emilia to strike her but Emilia blocked it with an ice shield. Elsa then proceeds to try to slash her way through the barrier but with no luck. She then simply went around it and hit Emilia with her leg, sending her flying to the wall and knocking her out.

Shortly followed by Emilia flying to the wall, old man Rom attempted to strike Elsa with his massive bat but failed to do so as Elsa snake waved around the giant old man and jumped on his bat.

Elsa: Oh my, aren't you a strong old man.

Saying this, Elsa runs on the old man Rom's bat and proceeds to cut his neck. But to her surprise, something blocked her attack but the force of the attack still sent the old man to the ground for a moment.

Felt then grabbed her knives and charged at Elsa trying to cut her, but Elsa once again dodged.

Elsa: Oh, you are loved by the world.

And then Elsa cuts Felt. But yet again something stopped her and the force of the impact sent Felt flying.

Old man Rom, Emilia and Felt soon regained their footing and stood up with confusion on their faces.

Old man Rom: What was that? Wasn't my throat supposed to be cut?

Felt: how...

Emilia: why don't I feel hurt at all?

Elsa narrowed her eyes and looked at the boy happily sitting on the chair.

Elsa: This is your doing, isn't it?

Subaru: This spell is known as Cor Leonis and I have multiple ways to use it. What you've seen so far is but a small demonstration.

Elsa: Are you sure it's a spell, it feels different.

Subaru: It's one of 4 star-related spells I currently have at my disposal.

Seeing as Subaru calls it a spell and has three more of them, she dismisses the idea that the man before her used an authority because there's no way in hell someone has 4 Witch Factors at once.

Elsa: My, aren't you full of surprises handsome, now I really want to see your bowels.

Subaru: Well, I will be sitting right here as I can't move when the spell is active, but then again, you can't kill anyone in this room as long as the spell is active.

Felt/Rom/Emilia: What?

All three look at Subaru for an explanation.

Subaru: When the spell is activated it roots the user, and as long as the user is not knocked out or killed, the spell can remain active indefinitely.

As Subaru says this, Elsa throws her kukris at Subaru next but is blocked by old man Rom, who jumps in front of the blades and makes them simply bounce off of him.

Subaru: Simply put, as long as you defend me from harm, no harm shall befall on you.

Elsa: That's a surprisingly annoying spell you got there.

Subaru shrugs his shoulders with an amused look.

Subaru: What can I say, I do have a reputation to be so annoying that no one can ignore me.

At this, Elsa charges at Subaru, bypassing Emilia, and slides in between the old man's legs. She then kicks Felt to the side and was just about to cut Subaru in half but was again stopped, this time by an ice barrier from Emilia. As Emilia begins to concentrate, more and more barriers start forming around Subaru, to a point it looked like Subaru was locked in an ice safe where nothing might enter nor harm the boy.

Subaru: Oh, guess this is one way to deal with my inability to move.

Says Subaru as he casually picks up a glass of milk from the bar stand and takes a gulp but quickly spits it all again.

Subaru: Old man, did you put water in this milk?

Old man Rom: Well, I can't afford to serve undiluted drinks here don't have money for it.

Subaru: Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.

And finishes drinking the milk. Meanwhile, Elsa's seductive smile was nowhere to be seen for she knows this will be annoying to deal with.

Felt: Take this you-

As Felt strikes Elsa she simply sidesteps and cuts Felt but yet again is blocked by an invisible force.

Elsa: My, my, aren't I in a bit of trouble. This will be probably the most annoying job I ever had.

Subaru: Oh, believe in me Elsa, you haven't even seen half of it.

Elsa narrows her eyes at Subaru's ice room wall, looking past the ice wall at Subaru burning, his image into her mind, and says:

Elsa: One way or another, I will gut you open no matter how long it will take. Sooner or later those walls will fall and you will be a very dead man.

Subaru: Then, in that case, let's make this entire situation a little bit more bearable. You can "dance" with the kind people over there and I will provide music for the occasion.

As Subaru says this, he pulls out a guitar from behind his cloak and begins to adjust the strings on it.

Seeing as Subaru no longer paid attention to her, Elsa's anger begins to skyrocket. She then throws her knife at Emilia and it simply bounces off of her. Emilia didn't even notice as she was currently focused on Subaru and forgetting everything around her for few moments as this entire situation just seemed too stupid.

Felt looked at Subaru in the same way as Emilia did and she had similar feelings towards the entire situation.

Old man Rom: In all my years I never ever experienced anything even remotely as weird as this. Truly, boy, you are something else.

Subaru looked up to Rom and smiled:

Subaru: But I am nothing special, only a man with few tricks that's all.

Rom: Says the boy who's currently toying with Elsa Granhiert, the bowl hunter.

Subaru: Oh, don't worry Rom, I haven't even started yet.

Says Subaru with a mischievous look in his eyes. He then proceeds to begin his song.

Subaru: I normally only play this song to one of my friends but today I will make an exception, I hope you will enjoy it.

(Authors note: If you want to listen to it here's the link /qYS0EeaAUMw I do believe the song's lyrics fits really well here)

As Subaru says that, he begins to play his guitar:

Subaru:

Hello darkness, my old friend~~~

I've come to talk to you again~~~

Because a vision softly creeping~~~

Left its seed while I was sleeping~~~

And the vision that was planted in my brain ~~~

Still remains~~~

Within the sound of silence ~~~

As the song plays, Elsa begins getting somewhat desperate. She begins slicing, kicking, jumping and slicing again at the ice walls to get to Subaru and stop the song. Yet the wall holds strong as Emilia found the song to be really familiar and nostalgic, and yet she couldn't remember where she heard it.

At the same time, Felt and Rom lost all will to fight as they simply enjoyed the song. Even Elsa's noises were filtered out of their minds, for nothing but the song remained within their mind.

And as the song begins to progress, so too does Elsa's desperation but to no avail, for every scratch she makes, Emilia simply puts few more barriers. Then Elsa hits Emilia but no harm can be done to her, not even the force of impact affected her. As for Emilia, Elsa almost stopped existing within her mind and her mind was washed off by the song. Only when something hits or damages the barriers does Emilia briefly remember her role and reinforce it but doesn't bother to stop the one attacking them, for it seems unimportant to her.

And eventually, the song comes to its conclusion and Subaru stops playing and the response from the audience was overwhelming.

Felt: That was beautiful.

Rom: You should work as a bard boy.

Subaru: Nah, it's nothing impressive, I only learned to sing for the purpose of singing songs of love to a girl I like. It's almost as if my mouth was made for songs such as this one.

Emilia, coming out of her trance, felt a small pang in her heart when she heard Subaru say "girl I like" unsure what the feeling meant, she decided to focus on it later because she just remembered that Elsa was still standing in front of them.

As Emilia looks around, she sees Elsa heavily panting and wiping her sweat off her forehead.

But then something unexpected happened: All the barriers shattered at once and Subaru suddenly started to move.

Elsa: Ehhh... Eh... Will you finally take me seriously?

Then Elsa takes a few moments to compose herself and looks at Subaru with murderous intent in her eyes. She points her black blades to Subaru and says:

Elsa: Elsa Granhiert, the bowel hunter.

Inviting Subaru to a duel and Subaru responds:

Subaru: Natsuki Subaru, yet the one you will be fighting isn't me but my friend.

He points at the ceiling and Elsa was about to lunge at Subaru. But suddenly, the ceiling collapsed and the one to come out of the dust and debris was a flaming volcano of a man, Reinhard.

And behind him revealed a night sky with many many spirits in the air forming the letters "Reinhard get your ass here" with a big arrow pointing to the building.

Subaru: I trust you got my message, Rein?

Reinhard: I think the entire capital got your message. It's hard to miss such a massive sight, how do you even do something like this?

Subaru: Nothing special, I only offered a song for the spirits and asked them to rearrange themselves into my message in return. It looks like it worked flawlessly.

Reinhard looked around the half-destroyed building and noticed Elsa. At the same time, Subaru picked one of Elsa's kukris off the ground and passed it to Reinhard.

Reinhard: Rather provocative clothing, curved knives, black hair, you're Elsa Granhiert, yes?

Elsa: The Sword Saint Reinhard. Oh, how much I want to see your bowels.

Reinhard checked his sword and it deemed Elsa unworthy to be drawn against. As a result, Reinhard looked around once more, looking for something to use as a blade only to be greeted by Subaru holding a knife's handle towards him. He smiles and takes the knife.

Reinhard: Since Subaru went out of his way to set this up, let me humbly accept this

Subaru: Have fun Rein, and be careful she can regenerate from a lot of damage like a monster.

Reinhard: Don't worry Subaru, hunting monsters happens to be my specialty.

Elsa: Don't you want to use the big shiny sword you carry?

Reinhard: You are deemed unworthy to have the divine sword drawn against you. So this little knife will have to suffice.

Elsa: I feel like I'm being underestimated here way too much today.

Reinhard: It's troublesome for me as well.

Elsa: Elsa Granhiert, the bowel hunter.

Reinhard: Reinhard Van Astrea, the current Sword Saint.

Elsa: I wonder what you'll show to me, Sword Saint.

Reinhard: Swordplay of Astrea family.

And with that, Reinhard lifted his dagger and infused it with mana, and swiftly swung it down on Elsa, blasting half of the building alongside her.

Subaru: And you say you're not a lady killer at night. You sure that is not the case?

Reinhard could only offer a sheepish smile back to Subaru.

Emilia: Subaru, when did you call on to all those spirits?

Subaru: Sitting inside an ice cage is boring, you know?

To this, Emilia could only relate but didn't know why. But then, Felt chooses to interrupt and says: "Sorry about stealing from you and you can have your insignia back." Something that was seen by Reinhard, who promptly grabbed Felts hand. While all of that was happening, the rubble behind them exploded in all directions and showed Elsa charging at Emilia with intent to gut her.

But Subaru, expecting this, was already holding onto his hat and tossed it at Elsa. The hat began to spin mid-air at a rapid rate so fast that it started to distort space around it. And what was once a hat quickly becoming a black ball surrounded by many tiny lights that were orbiting the black ball. It looked like a miniature galaxy. As one of the small lights made contact with Elsa's blade it disintegrated it along with Elsa's arm. If not for Elsa's inhuman reactions, she would have died right there. She quickly jumped back to the wall and seeing that there's nothing she can do now with the Sword Saint here and the boy.

Elsa: One day I will gut everyone in this room and I will make sure to prolong your suffering for as long as possible, boy.

Subaru: I am looking forward to it but do me a favor. Next time, bring some lubrication, I don't like dry woman's tanks.

Elsa clicks her tongue and runs off into the night.

Subaru: That being said, the hat trick is very taxing on the user, so see ya in 2 days.

Then without explaining anything further, he collapses to the ground and what was once a mini galaxy returned into a hat and landed on Subaru's chest, refusing to be separated from him.

Emilia rushes closer to Subaru and tries to heal him, but there was nothing to heal as Subaru was simply exhausted and had used all of his mana and a good portion of his Od.

Emilia: He used his Od...

Reinhard looked at Subaru, but then his gaze fell on old man Rom who was about to hit him. Reinhard simply used his divine protections and knocked out Felt and Rom picked both up and says to Emilia:

Reinhard: Lady Emilia, I trust you will look after Subaru and your insignia is right over there. As for me, I need to bring these two for some questions as the matter at hand is of utmost importance.

Emilia: Yes, yes, Reinhard, I will look after Subaru. I did promise to help him to look for a place to sleep. But for the favor he did to me today, that alone is insufficient to repay him so I will bring him back to the mansion and make absolutely sure he is looked after.

Reinhard simply bowed to Emilia and ran off, carrying Felt and Rom on his shoulders. As Emilia was left alone with Subaru, she heard a voice she was familiar with and with that, she went back to the mansion.

End of Arc 1.

Authors note: Before anyone complains about anything, do keep in mind English is not my primary language.

Second, Subaru is not OP at all he only has a different mindset and slightly bigger mana pool that results in all off his Authorities having been "buffed" as its more "defined"

Subaru's mana pool is about 10 times larger than his cannon counterpart. That's a much bigger mana pool but still nothing compared to Roswaal or Emilia. However, because of Volcanicas blessing he can "recharge" his mana pool about 200 times faster than Emilia or Roswaal. So, he runs out of steam fast but recovers almost as fast (That's my visualization of Subaru's character archetype so I based his gate around it.)

All off the stuff I eluded in this chapter will be explored in later chapters.

And no, I am not pulling crap out of my arse to make Subaru strong or smart, that's merely side effects to having all his If personalities, memories and experiences merged together.

Try to have few hundred if not thousand years downloaded into your mind and see how much of a child you'll still be, not counting a drastic personality change.

(Editor's note: Pretty sure most people would just go insane if that happened to them, unless they also had a shadow garden to process the information.)

As for the hat trick or other items he will pull out in future all of them are based on certain comments made by Subaru in cannon and Satellas assistance in making them.

Do you honestly think if you give Satella a task to make items for her beloved to use for defence she would do shitty job at it? Haha, I don't think so.

Hope you liked it and cheers.

Editor's (Beta-readers) note:

Not gonna lie, this chapter was the grammatical equivalent of a horror movie - a good plot, terrible mistakes, captivating mysteries and makes you question whether it was made to scare you off.

Nonetheless, I braved the countless dangers of non-conventionally structured sentences, almost complete lack of punctuation, non-existence of capitalization, and mishaps of tenses, to emerge with something (hopefully) more pleasant to read and enjoy. That said, I am by no means an experienced beta-reader and would appreciate any feedback from any members of the grammar police that have read this.

I also choose not to completely rewrite the formatting in the latter 2/3rds of the chapter in favor of getting to clean the other chapters up faster. Maybe I'll go back again when I catch up with the story. (That kind of maybe you say when you won't do it, but also don't want to admit that you won't do it.)

Favorite mistakes: "AN: No, I didn't make Subaru OP. I simply gave him super strong items, increased his mana pool by tenfold, upgraded his authorities, gave him several homebrew spells, and gave him new authorities. That doesn't make him OP, he's only "built different" now." not really a mistake, but _

"Elsa grain heart, the bowler hunter vs rain hard"

"I'm Subaru, nice to meat you"

May the odds be ever in your favor.

~VisitorN