Chapter 2 (A Liar's Day Of Labour)
The happiest day of Subarus' life would have been when Rem accepted to run off with him to Kararagi. Would have been is the big word here, because to Rem it wasn't like that.
Subaru asked Rem not to run off with him, but to join him in Kararagi as he stayed there for awhile and recollected his thoughts. Saying he just needed some time away from Emilia. When in reality Subaru was lying, he just wanted to convince Rem by any means necessary to come with him to Kararagi.
He knew about the attack on the village and the mansion. He knew about the white whale that was waiting to kill both of them, and erase them from existence completely. Really Subaru wanted nothing more than to be able to save Ram, Emilia, and the rest of his friends. But to him he was all done out, and out of options. It pained him to admit it but giving up was the only option left presented to him.
Rem had her concerns about her sister and Rosswal, but Subaru put them all at ease telling her that he would write a letter to let them know of their situation and where they will be. Rem was now on board with Subarus idea and agreed to join him to live in Kararagi for a couple of months.
They went to Crusch to request a dragon carriage. She asked them where they were heading, and Subaru told her the same ugly and disgusting lie he told Rem. Crusch's face frowned slightly. She knew that Subaru was lying, but what she didn't understand was what he was lying for.
Subaru completely forgot about her ability and the second he saw the frown grow on her face he got scared knowing he was just caught, and that Crusch was going to reveal to Rem that he had just lied to her.
But to his surprise Crusch didn't say anything about his lie and agreed to their request. Rem was so happy, but Subaru on the other hand felt horrible that Crusch knew that he was lying to Rem and even her the entire time.
When Subaru and Rem were walking out of her office area, Subaru saw the look Crusch was giving him. The look carried disapproval and confusion. She wanted to know the big secret Subaru was keeping Rem from, but did not want to ask. She didn't want a part in whatever mess Subaru was getting himself into.
Subaru and Rem would eventually arrive at Kararagi and start to live a life of some sort. They found a very small apartment that only had one bedroom. Both Rem and Subaru agreed to share the only bed and then began the progression of Rem and Subarus relationship.
Next on their priority list was to find jobs for the both of them. Rem, having an education, had a wider variety of jobs to choose from, as for Subaru he could only go as far as manual labor. This didn't bother him too much and he eventually landed himself a job working in the coal mines.
It didn't have glamor but it was some money to be made. As for Rem, she got a job at the bakery. For Subaru things were looking up, but in his gut he couldn't help but feel guilty and awful every single day. The burden of lying about the fate of Ram and the others grew greater with every day.
Subaru tried everything he could to get his mind off this growing sense of guilt, but nothing seemed to be helping. Seeing Rem get happy even made him feel sad. Because he knew when she found out she had been lied to, and that Ram and Rosswal were dead, she was going to be anything but happy.
"Subaru, I am just concerned about Nee-Sama and master Rosswal. I don't think we should just leave them without informing them"
"Don't worry about that Rem. I will just send a letter to them and inform them of where we will be"
"I don't know Subaru… I'd rather see Nee-Sama in person and say my goodbye before we leave"
"You will see her in person again, don't worry about it. You will see her again sooner than ever"
"Ok… But do you promise?"
"I promise"
That was by far the ugliest and disgusting lie Subaru had ever told in his life. It ecod in his head continuously as he worked in the dusty and dark mines, hammering away at rocks all day. The words "I promise" hurt him the most out of that lie.
Everyday since Rem and Subaru came to live in Kararagi that lie would play out in his head. A horrible and ugly reminder of how much of a coward and defeatist he really was.
A very loud whistle marked the end to another day of practical slave labor. Many of Subarus' co-workers would complain about the job being terrible because of its cramped work conditions, long hours, little pay, and back breaking manual labor. But what made the job horrible for Subaru, is that no matter how hard he tried not to dwell anymore on the situation it gave him time to dwell on the many horrible lies he had told to Rem.
Subaru made his way through the mines and placed his equipment back in the equipment shed. Walking down the tunnels Subaru could see the bright glowing light of the outside shine through the end of the tunnel.
Walking out he felt like he just walked into heaven seeing the sunlight still shine in the sky, as it slowly set into the horizon, and hearing the birds chirp in the distance. The setting was definitely more welcoming than the cramped and dark mines he worked in from sunrise forward.
"Come on, you know I'm not one of the bad ones"
"I told you, I am not interested. Can you please leave me alone"
Rems' annoyed voice immediately caught Subarus' attention. He looked over in its direction and saw Rem standing by the road with one of Subarus' co-workers leaned up on a lamp post all flirtatiously.
"Why does it have to be like that? I am simply attracted to your outgoing personality" The man said again. Before Rem could respond he began coughing uncontrollably, which was a common trait for coal miners to go through since the dust of the mines didn't really make for good breathing air.
"I told you to leave me alone!" Rem said, shouting slightly as she grew annoyed at the guy's persistence. Subaru began to walk over and intervene in the growing tensions between Rem and his co-worker.
The man finished his coughing session and got close to Rem with an annoyed look on his face
"You are just like the rest of them all stuck up for no reason at all. Goodbye then" The man said.
Before he left he spit directly into Rems face splattering his nasty saliva on the top half of her cheek.
He ran off as Rem squealed in disgust and wiped off the spit that ran down her cheek using her sleeve. The man ran off laughing slightly hearing Rem squeal. Subaru arrived and he had already seen all of it, and was infuriated at his co-worker.
"Rem, are you ok?" Subaru asked.
"I'm fine" Rem said.
Rems' voice carried a very annoyed and agitated tone, as she continued to wipe her face to rid herself of the germs the man left on her.
"Here let me see '' Subaru said as he grabbed her shoulder. He used his sleeve to help clean Rem off, but she still felt disgusted and violated in some way.
"Thank you Subaru, for helping clean me up" Rem said.
"Anytime, now do you want to head out for dinner tonight?" Subaru asked.
Rem nodded her head and grabbed onto Subarus hand so he could lead the way. He led her away from the mines and into the center of Kararagi to look for a restaurant.
"So how was your day Rem?" Subaru asked.
"It was a great Subaru. Rems food is really popular at the bakery I work at"
"That's amazing Rem, do you enjoy it there?"
"Yes, the boss is super nice, and even raised my pay because of my performance the past week"
Subaru was really happy that Rem enjoyed her new job. It almost made him forget about the ugly lie he had told her, but it also made him sad to see Rem be living a lie he had come up with.
While walking on the streets in search of a restaurant, Subaru saw a paper boy stood up on a box from afar. He had a paper held up in his hand and could barely hear him read out the headlines of that day's paper.
"Read it now! Emilia, the ex royal candidate has been assassinated!"
Subarus heart sank at the news. He had already come to terms with Emilia's death. What he was really worried about was the possibility of his lie coming undone. He immediately pulled Rem into a different street, getting away from the paper boy that possessed the words to shatter Rems' world he had made for her.
"Subaru why are you pulling my arm? What's the hurry?" Rem asked.
The biggest wave of relief swept over Subaru, he even felt a smile grow on his face as the paper boy's words became the undecipherable background noise of the massive crowd that walked the streets.
"No hurry. I am just very hungry. Long hours at work always get me starving"
"Remind me tomorrow to pack you a bigger lunch moving forward" Rem said buying another one of his lies.
The wave of relief then turned into a wave of extreme guilt. He hated it whenever Rem would believe another one of his lies. Here she was trusting him with her life, and Subaru was taking advantage of her trust. He hated that Rem saw him as a trustworthy person, when the truth is, he wasn't at all.
They eventually decided on a restaurant and sat down. Subarus guilt had yet to leave him, it just continued to torment him and launch insults at him. About how much of a fraud he is, and what Rem is going to think once she discovers the truth to what's happened to her sister.
"Subaru…"
He just didn't know what to think of the situation. He was debating whether he should just tell the truth and save as much of Rem's trust as he possibly could
"Subaru"
But then again. Once Rem finds out the truth there might be no such thing as trust left in her. Telling her about the attack on the mansion and the real fate of her sister would just be signing an early death.
"Subaru!" Rem shouted slightly.
Subaru snapped out of his thoughts, and immediately saw a waiter standing by the table with a flip book and a pen in her hand, awaiting to take their orders. He noticed how Rem and the waiter were both looking at him expecting an answer of somesort.
"What do you want to order Subaru?" Rem asked.
Subaru seemed to have lost himself in thought and completely forgot about ordering. He ordered what he wanted off the menu quickly, being kind of embarrassed at the fact he zoned out for so long. The waiter walked off, leaving Rem and Subaru alone to await their food.
"Subaru, since I got my promotion we are coming close to being able to afford a small house" Rem said.
"Oh right, that's great Rem. We should go looking soon. I think I got a day off coming up, so we could go house hunting if you would like."
"I would love too Subaru. Rem thinks we should look for one with two bedrooms or a futon bed so Nee-Sama can visit us"
There it was again, Subaru's number one good mood killer. That was when Rem talked about her sister. Whenever Rem would bring her sister up, Subaru would always try desperately to change the topic. The deep feeling of guilt and cowardness always danced in his stomach as Rem spoke about her sister, and now was no different.
Subaru pleaded in his head that Rem would stop talking about her sister, but she seemed somewhat insistent. She wondered how she was doing, if she missed Rem, and if she wanted to visit them soon.
Subaru would try to bring up random subjects that came to his mind in a vain attempt to change the topic but it came to no avail. Dinner at the restaurant was spent with alot of quietness on Subarus end, and a lot of chatter on Rem's end. As was every conversation that contained the name Ram.
"Alright, I am finished eating" Rem said as she set her utensils down.
"Are you ready to head back?" Subaru asked.
"Yes, I am quite tired" Rem responded.
Both of them got up and held each other's hands as they walked out of the restaurant and made their way home. The night was growing late, and Subaru was exhausted from a mixture of his job and the burden of his former friends lives.
"Subaru, you seemed off at dinner tonight, is something wrong?" Rem asked curiously.
"Just tired, I had a long day" Subaru said lying again.
"Well we should go to bed the second we get home then"
"Yeah sounds good"
Arriving home Subaru got ready for bed, and walked into the bedroom laying down on the bed, burying his face into a pillow. He hated the guilt he felt, he hated that he had to live with this guilt every single day of his life.
Minutes went by and Subaru had yet to move his face from the pillow. He felt the storm clouds of guilty memories start to form at a rapid rate, ready to rain down a guilty conscience onto Subaru.
Before the storm could begin Rem got into bed next to him and hugged his arm.
"Subaru please tell Rem what's bothering you, it's just us now so you could tell me" Rem said.
"I'm just frustrated that my coworker spit on you" Subaru said.
"Can you please look over at me?" Rem asked.
Subaru moved his face from the pillow to look over at Rem. He saw the small smile on her face, and soon felt her press her lips against his. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling his face closer to hers.
He wasn't expecting to see such a bold move from Rem, they had rarely kissed each other and none of them were nowhere near as passionate as this kiss was.
Subaru could feel Rem breath heavily through her nose like a dragon, not yet ready to break away and explain the reasoning behind her romantic action.
When she eventually broke away her face grew fully red, but despite being embarrassed. She still had the strongest smile she could give to Subaru.
"Subaru... I am extremely grateful that you care about my wellbeing, but just know I am fine. It's just a little spit in the face" Rem said.
"Thank you Rem… I feel alot better now" Subaru said, putting on a small smile.
"That great Subaru, anyway we should go to sleep since we have work in the morning"
"Sounds great, goodnight"
"Goodnight Subaru" Rem said as she laid her head down on her pillow.
Subaru tried to drift off to sleep for the night, but once again guilt kept him up to remind him of his sins. He counted the lies he told Rem today and noticed a slight increase from the lies he counted from yesterday.
Subaru began thinking back about the paper boy and the fate of Emilia. It was now official, no going back now. Emilia is dead on the ground, and there was nothing Subaru could do to bring her back. His death checkpoint was most definitely past the point of no return.
The hours went by and the night grew later. Subaru however had yet to fall asleep, he couldn't stop thinking about Emilia, and how she was dead. He had not yet come to accept the reality he was living in. Subaru never wanted her to die but he was left with no choice.
He started to wonder about Rams fate and Rosswals, were they also assassinated, surely the paper would tell. Subaru just had to get some sort of closure of the fates of his now previous friends. He just wanted to read the paper and know, just to know. As time went on that urge grew larger to the point he couldn't help himself anymore.
Sitting up, Subaru gently got out of bed and put his shoes on, making sure to be silent and not wake up Rem. Walking over to the door, Subaru gently opened and closed it, leaving the apartment in search for a newspaper that detailed the fate of Emilia and possibly Ram.
It was very late in the night and the newspaper vendors most definitely were not handing out newspapers at this hour. He wandered the streets and looked all over the place hoping to find one someone had thrown out.
Eventually he hit the jackpot and found one crumbled up in the trash bin. Subaru fished it out and unfolded it to read the story. The headlines printed in black ink stuck out to Subaru far greater than any normal person reading would.
He read the story about how Emilia tried to flee back into the forest after being blamed for the attack on the village. She was hunted down and killed. The paper also went over the Rosswal manor and the village and how it was all burned down to the ground. Finally bringing closure to Subaru on the fate of Emilia and the others, he wasn't that surprised he knew this would happen. He was just more upset at the fact this is how things turned out.
Life in Lugnica had so much promise, but it all evaporated with the drop of a hat. The only hope Subaru had was Rem, the only person he was able to save from the attack. Subaru felt a little better knowing he tried to make things different, and save everyone from their fates. He at least tried, and that to him was acceptable in some way.
Subaru set down the paper and began to walk back home, he couldn't believe the situation he found himself in. Just knowing that Rem could leave him once she caught wind of the truth brought Subaru so much distraught and sadness.
He didn't know what he would do without Rem. Once Rem's gone he would have lost everything he was willing to live for, but he couldn't even kill himself if he wanted to. He was being forced to live this life and see it through till the end.
Returning home he gently opened and closed the door and quietly walked over to the bedroom and slipped his shoes off. Laying back down, Subaru could hear Rem breathe peacefully and gently completely oblivious of the horrible reality she was living in.
The bed Rem and Subaru shared was very small and made so Subaru could feel Rem breathe on his neck. Being so close to Rem put Subaru at ease, and nothing could hold him back from latching onto her and hugging her as she slept.
He was trying to savor every moment of his romance with Rem while it lasted. Until it came either crashing down or was permanently soured with the reality of her sister being dead.